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Sober Talk SA - Harri · Sober Talk SA

• 0:00
  Welcome to sober talk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
• 0:03
  experience at alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
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  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
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  strengthen hope with each other. They must solve their common
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  problems and help others to recoup from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
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  drinking. There are no dues of fees for
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  AIR membership. We are self support through our
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  own contributions. AIR is not allied with any sect,
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  denomination, politics, organization or institution.
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  Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
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  oppose any clauses. Our primary pass is still
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  Someone help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
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  Hey, I'm Harry. I'm a member of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. You know, I've been asked to
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  record this for the last four years and I never got around to
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  doing it because I can. I always think and what, what
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  can I, what can I share that would be any good?
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  And the truth of it is, is I just got to share my truth.
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  You know, when I was a young lad, I was always a bit shy and
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  introverted and I really didn't fit in.
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  And, but you know, there was a going away party for some people
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  when I was like 15 years old and oh, you know, the gloves were
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  taken off. I was allowed to have some
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  drinks. I was drinking Brandy and coke
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  and whatever it was and I had a really good time and I was able
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  to get up and dance floor and even talk to the adults and and
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  tell them whatever I was saying. I don't really remember much of
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  it. But few weeks later there was a
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  school social. Never been to the school social
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  because I never really went anywhere like that.
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  But I got to my dad's bar and took a little bit of this little
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  bit of that and made myself a little hip flask of of stuff and
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  drinking in the line Wait, before I went to school, I got
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  into the school, I think Michael Jackson's Billy Jam was playing
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  and I just went straight on the dance floor.
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  All my inhibitions were gone. I was dancing with the girls.
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  It was all good. People coming up to me saying
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  what are you doing here? And I said, well, I'm dancing
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  and they'd never seen me ever in social setting like this.
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  And funny thing was a couple of weeks later, I had a girlfriend.
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  So I always related alcohol to good things happening in my
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  life. And so that's how it went on for
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  years and years and years. I didn't really have any bad
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  times with alcohol. All the good times were with
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  alcohol. You know, we used to go fishing
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  and and camping and always travelling.
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  Once the snow went here, went there, went there everywhere and
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  it was always alcohol was involved and nothing bad really
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  happened. Now a bit later on in in the
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  pace I started getting injuries like I'd do funny things when I
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  was drinking like get great ideas like going, you know,
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  climb a few rocky outcrops, maybe even that a mountain or
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  something maybe definitely go drink driving in the
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  countryside. You can't get in much trouble
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  doing that, can you? Mind you, every time I drove my
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  car across the Murray River, we always crashed it somewhere.
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  I always thought that my problem was not that I was drinking, but
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  across the river. If I don't cross the river, I
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  won't get into any trouble. How crazy is that?
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  And so anyway, I had his great experiences drinking whatnot.
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  And later on in life, I got married and tried to settle down
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  and it didn't work out because by this stage, I like drinking.
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  I like drinking a lot. And living life without alcohol
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  wasn't easy. And so I'd go to work and I'd do
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  my job and get the money and give the money to the missus and
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  buy some food. And what little money I had
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  leftover, I'd drink. And you know, I thought I was
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  doing great. I loved drinking.
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  I loved the way it made me feel the way I was.
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  And then she got sick of my drinking and put her foot down
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  and I had to stop. And I couldn't stop because I
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  just kept thinking about it all the time.
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  I just thought, how can I live life without it?
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  And, you know, and I'd, I'd stop for a few days at a time and
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  even a week maybe or something, but inevitably be able to put
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  something else into my system to take the edge off.
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  And I could never quite get clear of it.
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  And one day I had this idea. I don't know where the idea came
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  from, but I rang up directories and asked for a number for
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  Alcoholics Anonymous. And I rang them up and talked to
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  a fellow on the line and talked about how little I actually
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  drank and didn't tell him the truth, of course.
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  And he didn't seem to think I had an alcohol problem.
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  And I just wanted her to him to tell my wife that, you know,
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  I'll be right. But he wouldn't.
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  He wouldn't say that. He said that I should probably
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  go and have a look at a meeting or at a meeting and see if you
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  know, if I went to a meeting maybe I could find out the
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  truth. And so I went along to Brompton
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  Beginners and I met 2 fellows at the door and they were very
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  welcoming. They welcomed me in and you know
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  showed showed me where to get a cup of coffee and whatever what
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  have you. And I listened in on the
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  meeting. There was a guest speaker.
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  He shared his experience, strength and hope.
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  And what experience he had was he was a professional cyclist
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  and like, you know, he tried his best to make a career of it.
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  And I myself was a like a sportsman.
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  I loved playing sport. I played all kinds of different
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  sports. I played volleyball from a
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  little kid. I played ice hockey.
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  I, you know, I was playing floorball and beach volleyball,
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  Olympic twos and indoor volleyball and, you know, racing
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  around me, bicycle and you name it, I was into it.
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  But I could never quite cut it because I just couldn't get past
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  my thinking. My thinking always led me back
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  to drinking and here we were anyway.
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  So I was coming a A and just coming to meetings.
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  And that's all I was really doing.
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  I was playing all these sports and coming to meetings and
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  everyone kept saying keep coming back.
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  And I was really happy to keep coming back because everywhere
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  else in the world people were saying don't you ever come back
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  here again. We don't want, we're around
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  here. And sometimes I'd go back to
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  these places where they'd told me not to come back and they'd
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  say, we told you not to come back.
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  And I said, well, when did you, when did you say that?
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  And they said, well, that was just yesterday.
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  And I go, jeez, I don't remember that.
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  Well, the thing was that when I drink, I'm in blackout.
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  I, I'm still performing, I'm still going through the actions,
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  but I don't remember what I'm doing.
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  And this went on and on and on. Anyway, so I'm in a a now and
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  I'm coming to meetings. I'm not still not sure if I'm an
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  alcoholic or not. There was a few ideas put to me
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  that maybe I could give it a go. And one of the things was that I
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  could go to a go to my nearest bar and have a drink and it and
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  stop abruptly. See if I could just stop at one
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  or two drinks. And if I could do that, then
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  maybe I'm not an alcoholic. I could just get back to do what
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  I was doing. And so after about 3 months in a
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  A I, I just thought I'd do that. So I went out and gave it a
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  crack and in the end I ended up drinking for another three
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  months and I was pretty sick at this stage by now and I came
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  back into a A again. Now I thought I'd do six months
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  of a A and I should be cured now.
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  And so I did six months of a, A and, and then I gave it another
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  crack and I went out there and now it got worse my, even though
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  I hadn't been drinking six months, my alcoholism's doing
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  like, you know, exercising in the background and I was worse
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  than ever. I, my alcohol consumption just
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  went through the roof. I was making up for lost time
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  now. I managed to lose my license
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  this time around the first time and, and now I was bleeding.
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  I started bleeding out of my mouth and other places and you
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  know, I was getting really crook.
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  I couldn't even have the morning drink.
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  I was that sick. And so off to the doctor I went
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  and told him what I was doing and you know, he gave me
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  something some some things that I needed to take just to stop
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  the bleeding. But I went back to a A and kept
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  going to meetings and my mind was getting more cooked as time
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  went on from just from consumption and alcohol.
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  And it took me a long time to accept that there was this
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  program and offer and that maybe I should do something about it.
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  Now, I had a, had a sponsor and he was doing the best that he
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  could with me, but I was belligerent.
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  I wasn't willing to do anything. I wasn't even willing to read
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  the big book. And eventually I changed
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  sponsors and I changed sponsors a few times.
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  And every time I am with a sponsor and he'll, they'll get
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  me so far into it and I'll just pull up stumps and Nah, not
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  doing that. It took the gift of desperation
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  before I was willing to do anything real.
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  I was stood at the turning point.
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  I was willing to do anything. I asked for help.
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  A sponsor was there. They helped me through the
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  process of the steps. I worked through the prices of
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  steps one step at a time. It wasn't that hard, really.
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  In the end, I made a big molehill over the whole thing.
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  I used to think that doing Step 4 was going to be the hardest
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  thing ever. It wasn't that hard to write it
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  all out. Once it got it all out on paper
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  and my inventory had been done, the next thing was to tell
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  someone. By this stage I was that broken
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  enough that I was willing to let go of it all.
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  I went, therefore I went to the person that was helping with it
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  and I told them all about it and got rid of it.
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  And all those secrets that I had of my past, of my past doings,
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  of my fear, immature sex, immaturey, the resentments, I
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  got them out. The relief was just basically
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  immediate. I had this immediate relief of
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  telling all this stuff. I went home and reflected on the
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  1st 5 propositions for an hour and then went back to a sponsor
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  and we started working through the rest of the rest of the
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  steps. Now when I got to, you know, my
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  defects of character, I didn't think I had any.
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  So I kind of like skimmed over it a bit and just got cracking
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  onto my a list of people I was harmed.
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  When I wrote down my list of people I harm, I wrote it down
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  in three columns like it says. But the problem was I didn't
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  know where most of the people were.
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  I didn't know who these people were either.
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  And I, I had like 3 columns and one column was all the people I
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  was harmed and I didn't know who they were.
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  Another column was all the people I had harmed and I knew
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  who they were. And the third column was all the
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  people I harmed and I have no idea where they are.
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  So that was a bit tricky. And I went out to make my
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  amends. I went around apologizing to
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  people and, and I found a bunch of people that I could make
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  amends to. So that's what I did.
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  I went and saw these people out. I, I made amends wherever
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  possible. I even got to the point of there
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  was a bunch of people I owed money to and the money I owed
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  them wasn't that much, but there was still money they owed them.
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  And so therefore I, I even travelled overseas to pay off my
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  phone financial debts to people that had borrowed money from
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  from over there from years ago. The next thing I did was I went
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  to meetings, I accepted this new way of life and I started
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  working towards what my hype had power had in store for me.
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  I started to live the program one day at a time, always
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  working towards the greater good of IA as a whole.
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  I was always looking for people that I could help in IA and
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  outside of IA and, and continue doing this.
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  Along the way, I was doing a lot of a, A camps and roundups and
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  fellowship in general. And I cut myself a string of
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  sponsees to work with. And you know, at one stage I
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  didn't have any sponsees and one of my grand sponsor came up to
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  me and says, how many have you got sponsor now?
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  And I said, I haven't got anyone.
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  No one's ever asked me. And he said to me, well where's
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  it saying the big book that you had to wait for them to ask you.
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  And so therefore I was about to ask someone if I could help them
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  out. And along came my first Ponce
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  and he says can you help me out? And I said OK, no worries.
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  And we set a time in the morning that he could ring me before the
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  start of the day and we could have a chat and about of about a
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  day or two later, another person asked me and then another
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  person, another person. Next thing you know, I'm doing
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  getting 5 phone calls every morning from 5 different people
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  and giving them the passing on the knowledge that I had from my
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  sponsor on how to work through this process.
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  And it got me really busy, got me really busy.
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  I was still doing these tag alongs at the top end and
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  everywhere else. We were going and meeting up
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  with all the old timers and basically we're having a great
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  time just staying sober. And but there was still
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  something missing in my life. I just couldn't put my finger on
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  it. And and and now long about that
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  time I met my wife and when I met her, you know, it was like
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  the whole world opened up again. Now, I would have never have met
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  her if I hadn't have been sober And I'll I've been married to
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  her now for eight years. And in that period of time,
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  we've had ourselves a little baby boy.
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  And, you know, I didn't have any purpose to life until I turned
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  to a A and when I was in a AI kind of hit a wall and I need to
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  ask for help again. And I got to through the steps
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  and I got to the other end of that.
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  I started working this every day of my life.
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  And there was something else that I needed.
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  God would provide for me if I just worked the program.
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  And now I've got this beautiful family.
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  You know, I've got my wife and my son and you know, I still
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  haven't had a drink or a drug in all this time.
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  I'm still living programmed best of my ability.
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  It was how many years I've been sober now for since 8th of
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  October, 8th, sorry, 8th of November 2002.
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  So that makes me 22 years sober. Dennis has been asking me to do
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  this recording. I don't know how long.
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  I think he said it's been taking me four years to to work me into
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  saying that. And so here we are.
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  We're doing it now and I'm never so grateful I have the
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  opportunity to be of service to AI and through throughout my
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  recovery, we've had a lot of hiccups and whatnot.
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  My, you know, my mother passed away and I had to work out, help
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  out with the funeral and get all that sorted out.
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  Few years later, my father passed away.
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  I had to do all of that. I've been working on visas and
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  this that and the other. But you know, all the stuff that
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  happens in life is just there to, you know, either test you
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  or, or or help you grow. And without IEII wouldn't have
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  been able to cope with any of them.
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  And it's been a hard journey, but also very rewarding journey
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  to get to where I am today. And now I'm proud to say that
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  I'm an alcoholic and a member of Alcoholics Synonymous.
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  So thank you for letting me share.
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  Thank you. Harry's good, good share mate.
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  Plain language, Big book, a tool for reading Alcoholics
• 18:22
  Anonymous. How it works.
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  It's very rare for someone to completely commit to the a a
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  program and still fail. People who do not recover are
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  the ones who can't or won't follow this simple program.
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  They are usually people who simply cannot be honest with
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  themselves. We don't meet a lot of people
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  like this, but they do exist. It is not their fault they seem
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  to have been born that way, but because they cannot be honest
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  with themselves, they are unlikely to succeed in their
• 18:53
  recovery. There are also people who suffer
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  from emotional and mental disorders and join a A to
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  address their alcoholism. Many of them do recover if they
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  are able to be honest along their journey.
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  Many of the stories we share in this book describe experiences
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  that we have had ourselves. We share stories about what we
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  used to be like, what happened to us, and what our lives are
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  like now. If you feel like we didn't want
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  to stop drinking, then you are ready to get started.
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  You are ready to take these steps toward recovery.
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  When we started, some of those first steps scared us.
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  We thought we could find an easier way, but we could not.
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  Since we know this now from our own experiences, we're asking
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  you to be fearless and thorough from the start.
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  Some of us tried to keep our old ideas and they just held us
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  back. Until we let go of those ideas,
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  we were unable to make progress. Remember that we are dealing
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  with the disease. Alcoholism is a confusing and
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  powerful condition that is unlike anything else in the
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  world. Alcohol is extremely
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  complicated, tricky and difficult.
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  It seems to control and punish people who are addicted to it
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  without help. Beating alcoholism is too much
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  for one person to handle. We all need guidance from God,
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  support from a higher power, and we need to ask for that support
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  with full and open hearts. We stand at a turning point.
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  We asked for God's protection and care with all the honesty we
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  have. The 12 steps here are the steps
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  we took which are suggested as a program of recovery.
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  One, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our
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  lives had become unmanageable. 2 came to believe that a power
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  greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3 made a
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  decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
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  God as we understood him. Four, made a searching in
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  fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5 admitted to God, to
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  ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our
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  ROMs. Six were entirely ready to have God remove all these
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  defects of character. 7 humbly asked Him to remove our
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  shortcomings. 8 made a list of all persons we had harmed and
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  became willing to make amends to them all.
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  Nine made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except
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  when to do so would injure them or others. 10 continued to take
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  personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted
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  it. 11 sought through prayer and meditation to improve our
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  conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for
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  knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12
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  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we
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  tried to carry this message to Alcoholics and to practice these
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  principles in all our affairs. If this is your first time
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  reading through these steps, they may seem difficult or even
• 22:00
  impossible. Do not be discouraged, no one
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  has ever followed these principles perfectly.
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  We are not Saints, we are simply people who are trying to grow
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  both spiritually and personally. These ideas are here to guide
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  our progress, and our goal is spiritual progress, not
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  spiritual perfection. In chapter 4, we shared a
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  description of Alcoholics who do not believe in God.
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  Combined with that we believe the stories of our experiences
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  as a members all boiled down to three simple ideas.
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  A That we were Alcoholics and could not manage our own lives.
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  B That no human power could have stopped or changed our
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  alcoholism. C That God could and would help
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  us if we tried to find God. We have local meetings for the
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  full week in the local area. Monday's Gala meeting at 8:00,
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  Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
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  8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at
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  8:00. There's a meeting at Devron Park
• 23:14
  at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00
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  and many of the maintenance in the area.
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  For details of your local meetings, please phone 1300
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  Double 22222. And once again, if anyone you
• 23:33
  know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
• 23:37
  Anonymous on 1300 Double 22222. The website isaasa.org dot AU.