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Holy Smoke / The Priest · The Danger Zoo

0:03
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:09
Welcome to the department of anomalous and non human genetic
0:12
entities, reconnaissance and zoological occult operations.
0:16
I am Coyote the game warden. And these boys are in the poopy
0:20
because you're not supposed to swear within like the first
0:22
minute of YouTube or something. I don't know.
0:25
But yeah, who wants to go over what happened last time?
0:32
When I showed up, you were force feeding me meat.
0:38
It's when you woke up. Yeah.
0:39
I was putting some meat in your mouth.
0:41
Specifically, salami. Don't worry, you liked it, baby
0:45
girl. It sure was salami.
0:49
Hey, man, if you like it, you'll like it, all right?
0:52
Live your truth. That's what I always say.
0:57
It's not like an if it's forced. Well, that's a whole other topic
0:59
we're going to get into anyways. Mission start.
1:07
What else happened with all these cops here guys?
1:11
That's a good question. I showed up and baby bird had a
1:15
couple on the web. AZ was shot multiple times.
1:18
I mean, to be fair, I shot first.
1:20
Oh. No.
1:22
Or tried to shoot first. I'm a terrible shot.
1:24
That makes it better. Yeah, well, obviously, because
1:27
they're still alive. That's true.
1:28
That's true. Also there's a cop that just
1:33
showed up randomly that you guys thought got exploded earlier.
1:36
There's one still stuck in the web.
1:37
Grandpa, where are you? I decided not to kill cops today
1:43
and I worked my way back to the cabin where I found Coyote has
1:46
decided to not take our advice and broke this fucking salt and
1:51
now he's not here anymore so I got to try and find out where
1:55
the hell he went. That does look like what it
1:58
looks like happened. Maybe we shall see real quick,
2:03
though. This cop, the guy's gun pointed
2:05
at you, but Baby Bird's not here.
2:07
He's down, hazy. Check Baby Bird's pulse real
2:09
quick. Check and pulse.
2:15
This man has no pulse. Oh my God, check his wallet.
2:19
What's in his pockets? Oh shit, hell yeah, I got that.
2:24
Ain't nothing in them pockets neither.
2:27
That's why he has no pulse. He probably lost his shekels and
2:30
his Filipino pesos somewhere. All right, so we got one cop in
2:35
a webbing. One cop with his gun aimed at
2:37
you. Hazy.
2:38
Yeah, he's a really, he's a really good shot.
2:41
Apparently out of the tree line steps out.
2:43
Another cop right behind you. Night owl puts a gun to the back
2:46
of your head. That's probably not good.
2:49
Is that a gun or you just happy to see me?
2:51
And then from the other tree line, that crackhead Eddie pops
2:56
out and he puts a gun to the side of your head.
2:57
Hazy. Oh hell no.
3:01
So here here's the thing, if they're up on you and they've
3:04
got your gun to your head, you can try and move, but if it
3:08
fails you will automatically drop TO0HP.
3:12
My give up. No regrets.
3:15
No regrets, All right. We're still in the same
3:19
initiative. So hazy.
3:21
You can do what you want. Yeah, I say fucks.
3:24
That keeps it real. So I'm going to try to punch him
3:29
in the balls, Eddie. You're going to try and punch
3:33
Eddie in the balls. Roll it or melee I.
3:38
Don't know what that is. D20 for a hit.
3:42
Yeah. Yeah.
3:44
And what's with your strength? Oh, strength, probably nothing
3:48
02. Nice, So 13.
3:50
Oh nice, you're down. Nice, damn it.
3:54
Hazy's down, night out. You put your bow in the air, I'm
3:57
assuming? Oh yeah, no, definitely hands
3:59
straight in the air. OK, I'm smart.
4:02
All these cops and crackheads, everyone's yelling.
4:04
They're like telling you the Twigger's just like did.
4:09
You got any change? Jeez, And you just hear a shot
4:15
ring out from the West and everyone looks over and you see
4:21
this 6 foot tall Italia Rican priest looking dude walk up and
4:28
he's like put, he's got both his hands up and he's telling the
4:31
cops to put their guns down and he's like children, children.
4:35
Everyone take a beat. Ah bapa boopy.
4:39
Everyone relax, relax guy. Hey, oh, what's with the guns
4:45
and the bopping? The shooting, The boopings, huh?
4:48
Was he from the Bronx? The fuck?
4:50
He's from Newark. He's probably with that German
4:52
dude. What German?
4:55
Dude, he's telling everyone. He goes, hey, hey, it's all
4:58
right. And then he looks, he looks at
5:00
the crackhead. He's like, my son, go home.
5:04
So Eddie just takes off running into the woods.
5:07
I'm going to look up and be like, your son just shot me,
5:09
Sir. Hey, oh, what do you want him to
5:13
do? Hey, smart guy, you.
5:16
Made a move on him. This priest walks up.
5:19
He pulls this cop that's stuck in the spider web up.
5:23
Let's see if he can get him up. Oh no, he's a little stuck.
5:31
And he says, my child, I did what I could.
5:38
Bless you, may you ever, may you always be in the Lord's favor.
5:42
And he pulls a little handgun out of his Bible and shoots him
5:45
square in the face. Jesus Christ.
5:48
And that cop is dead, all right. That escalated quickly.
5:53
That's not how I expected this to go.
5:55
And then you hear the cop that's behind you, Night owl, he says,
5:59
Father Gigliotti, what do you want us to do with the rest of
6:02
these guys? The father looks at the cop
6:06
that's behind you, night Owl, and he says cuff him.
6:10
We'll take him to the church. We'll let God decide what to do
6:14
with them. Wait, what the fuck is going on?
6:18
I don't know, but you are currently handcuffed now and
6:21
this police officer behind you is leading you.
6:23
Not again. Police officer with the eye
6:26
patch, he comes around, baby bird and he looks down at Hazy
6:29
and he's like, hey, father, this one's still moving.
6:31
What you want me to do with him? Because he's Puerto Rican.
6:34
That's his best second, too. Dear Lord.
6:37
Father says drag him along and then Garcia at the cop points to
6:41
baby bird, who's down, he says in this one.
6:43
And the father says, yeah, leave him fuddy at us.
6:51
And so is it. You're picked up and you're put
6:54
on the back of this cop and night out you are escorted by
6:58
this cop and the father lead you all into to the east to this map
7:06
over here. Let's Can I bum a cigarette?
7:10
You cannot. Travel No.
7:15
You guys are actually going to go South here.
7:17
You guys are going to make it to the edge of town here with
7:21
fodder. Fodder leading the way here.
7:23
Oh, that cop's dead. We leave him there.
7:25
Sorry, Cass. He died.
7:27
Night Owl. You're right behind the father,
7:29
the cop behind you, and Hazy. This cop is just dragging your
7:32
body along here. All right, Grandpa, that
7:37
happened. What are you doing?
7:40
So I'm going to start, well, eventually, short version,
7:43
investigating this room, see if I can figure out what possibly
7:47
happened. OK, give me investigation check.
7:54
12 investigation so plus 5/17. OK, you notice that salt line
8:03
that you found on the east window.
8:05
You notice that the salt didn't get like pushed in from the
8:09
inside. It looks like something from the
8:11
outside pushed the salt in and you don't really notice anything
8:16
in here. However, it does dawn on you,
8:21
what was the job that I hired you for?
8:27
Do I do I get a roll for that? No, no.
8:29
Like, what? Do you remember what I hired you
8:31
for? To help my guys?
8:34
Do what? Not be dip shits.
8:38
Yes, Ultimately, yes, But what are we doing?
8:41
We were in Alabama for a reason. We're heading to Virginia for a
8:45
week reason. Listen, I've been drinking way
8:49
too hard. You were helping them as you
8:54
were helping them transport the white coffin.
8:59
Oh, now I remember. All right.
9:04
Well, yeah, that's a good point. So I guess also while
9:08
investigating that room, I'm also going to be investigating
9:10
every all the rooms, taking a look to see if anything else has
9:13
changed. While I do that, I'm also going
9:16
to be going over the radio assuming any of them have it on
9:19
and be like coyotes missing. OK, well, let's say you had
9:24
because you thought you thought of the white coffin.
9:26
So you're going to investigate there, right?
9:28
Yep. So you head W, open that door,
9:32
go past the dining room table, you head South, open that door,
9:35
and the coffin is gone. You see a bunch of scratch marks
9:39
from where it was before. And obviously I'm saying that
9:43
over the radio, Coyote and the coffin are missing.
9:46
Well, Haze turned his radio off. So did baby bird.
9:49
Night Owl did not. Nope.
9:51
Night owl goes off and everyone stops and they're listening to
9:54
the radio. The cop looks at the father, the
10:00
father just gives a nod to the cop, and the father walks off,
10:04
heading north. Everyone else is going to keep
10:08
heading east. You guys move over to the next
10:11
map. That priest disappears.
10:13
Everyone slides down this embankment.
10:16
They're heading north. It's the same embankment Grandpa
10:18
went through earlier, but you guys don't know that hazy.
10:21
You actually slid down the easiest down this embankment
10:23
because you're already on the ground and it's kind of like
10:25
that moment when your mom tells you to take out the trash and
10:27
you're throwing a fit and you're on the couch and you just kind
10:29
of slide sling your body off to go take it out like you're a
10:32
whiny shithead. That's how you got down the
10:34
embankment. Nice, keeping it classy.
10:39
I get it. I'm going to start, well,
10:44
salting all the entrances. I'm basically going to be trying
10:48
to barricade this place for a minute.
10:50
Well, obviously salt didn't work the last time.
10:53
No, it did work because they had to push it out of the way.
10:55
That at least buys me time. That means noise.
10:58
Yeah, he's going to hear so shifting.
11:02
No. I could hear someone opening up
11:04
a window. I could hear multiple different
11:05
things. They can't just phase through
11:07
the window, so to speak. I mean, if it was a Boo hag,
11:12
you're going to take a good amount of time salting all of
11:14
these windows. Yeah, I was just thinking about
11:16
that. I was just thinking about the
11:17
distance and whatnot. That would take at least
11:18
probably 2 rounds and such maybe.
11:21
Yeah, it's going to take two rounds, so we're going to go 2
11:24
rounds to the guys while you completely salt the whole cabin
11:27
night Owl Hazy. Are you guys doing anything
11:30
while they're taking you or you just being good little boys and
11:32
girls and trucking, I mean. I'm dead.
11:35
Oh no, I was, I was going to ask what?
11:38
What the Hell's going on? Like why?
11:41
Why all of a sudden they're listening to a priest, but
11:43
they're cops and where the fuck are they taking us?
11:47
Cop tells you to shut up and he pissed the whips the back of
11:49
your noggin. 4 Two points of damage.
11:53
Well, that's not nice. Am I getting carried or dragged?
11:58
You're getting dragged. You want?
11:59
Go ahead and make a saving throw.
12:01
An 8. Oh, nothing happens.
12:05
Just kind of go. You're trying to do a setup and
12:10
you smell back down like a fat kid.
12:14
All right, so you guys are going to head see you guys around the
12:19
northern edge of this embankment and start headed east and yeah,
12:26
so you guys get one more turns. Anything else you want to do,
12:28
you want to just keep pushing? What's this insight role going
12:33
to be able to use that to try to see what's actually going on?
12:38
Where is he's going to fucking piss with me again?
12:42
Insight role? Which one?
12:43
Where is that? It's part of wisdom.
12:48
Oh, insight, like your wisdom. Or that be more of like
12:52
investigation? Like what are you trying to get
12:54
insight for? Like what's going on?
12:57
Yeah, like, why? Why are they working with the
13:00
priest and why are they taking us?
13:04
And why he just kind of like dipped out after hearing the
13:06
white coffin. That wouldn't be any knowledge
13:09
you'd be able to just pluck out of the air, and any questions
13:12
you've asked the cops going to be met with violence.
13:16
No. Well, fuck me all right?
13:18
Can I have a song? Well done.
13:22
Oh, you could try escaping, or you can try I.
13:26
Want to use my Oh shit. Hold on hazy.
13:29
Or you could try something else. Night out.
13:32
You can beg, try talk to him again but not ask them directly.
13:35
You can try and be friendly, try anything.
13:37
You are in a hostage situation. Try to be friendly I guess, not
13:45
ask them indirectly. OK, give me a persuasion check.
13:50
What's your what's your problem guys?
13:52
Who? Pissed you?
13:54
Cheers. Was that AD 20?
13:56
Yeah, it's most of the skill checks you're going to do are D
13:59
20s. It's going to be your Charisma
14:01
added which is. Nothing, nothing.
14:03
All right, let's. Just turn around and give them a
14:06
hug A. Little smoochy poo.
14:11
Eye contact. Start beating them off.
14:14
Call 6. OK, what do you, what do you
14:17
want to ask him? What do you want to say to him?
14:20
So how did you get in this line of work?
14:23
That's met with two points of damage you actually turn.
14:25
Around to ask. Him, he pops you in the face.
14:32
Nope, hazy. You need to do a saving though.
14:36
You can't do shit until you're alive.
14:39
Aw, all right, so oh, 13. OK, Hazy, you're up.
14:48
What do you want to try and do? I'm.
14:51
Going to say oh shit and try to jump out into the woods, like
14:55
use that ability. Yeah, that's so he can't attack
15:00
you, but you are restrained currently.
15:03
That's not how it no, that's not how that's worded.
15:06
Oh, how's it worded? I can run away, I can run away
15:08
restraint. I'm just trying to go.
15:11
How can you run away restrained if he has a hold of you?
15:16
Because I snapped up. I'm alive.
15:17
He's maybe he startled a little bit.
15:21
You're going to, so you're going to try to escape, right?
15:23
Which is going to be a stealth, and you're going to roll it at
15:24
disadvantage. Roll 2 dice and we'll take the
15:27
lower one. CPU escape.
15:29
You got this easy day. So I got I got a + 4 stealth
15:33
though, so all right, oh, 19. Fuck off.
15:41
OK? You escape how?
15:43
Explain to me how you escape from this dude and where you're
15:46
going. What picture popped in my head
15:51
was, you know, when Chris Pontius jumped out of the trunk
15:54
butt naked, but he was all tied up and just ran out of the, you
15:56
know, down the street in Jackass.
15:58
So literally you're just running away, tied up.
16:00
Yeah. I mean, yeah, I just want to get
16:01
away and disappear into the woods.
16:03
Which way? North.
16:05
OK, so you wait until this guy, this cop's eye patch, is looking
16:09
at you and so he has no peripheral on that side and you
16:13
just kick him in the ass. He lets go of your foot and you
16:15
take off north. Nice.
16:18
You're going to have to try and make it up the embankment.
16:21
Oh no, Oh no. Can I use my my climbers
16:26
keepers? Sure put a climbers keepers and
16:29
gave me an athletics role. This is +4 Acrobat.
16:33
That's that's +8. Let's do it 19.
16:38
Yeah, you shoot up like while you're running and you're like
16:40
Batman away and you're disappearing through the tree
16:44
line. Garcia chases for a little bit
16:46
and he just kind of stops at the rocks and he's like, how do you
16:49
smeow? So he goes over his radio.
16:52
You don't hear what he says, but he says something and night out
16:56
you don't hear it either because it's kind of far away.
16:58
He whispers into it, and the cop that's with you hides his radio,
17:02
but he's keeping an eye on you while Hazy's running.
17:06
God damn it. I would say you could try to
17:08
escape, but like, you were trying to talk to him and you're
17:11
dealing with like watery eyes from him punching you in the
17:14
nose and your turn was already taken.
17:15
So now we're going back to Grandpa.
17:17
OK, fine. All right, well while I'm doing
17:22
all the stuff that I'm doing, I also point out there's two other
17:25
things that I would probably be doing. 1, going across the
17:28
radio, be like, are you all dead?
17:31
And 2nd, I want to chamber one of my silver rounds.
17:37
Silver's always the best. It usually works.
17:41
Oh, I don't know how long it would take me to do all the
17:45
whole salting thing, but the room that the coffin was in,
17:48
does it look like it was dragged out of the window?
17:50
No, it looks like it was dragged out the door.
17:52
Oh, shit. OK, I was thinking the window.
17:55
Yeah, well, I'm doing this. Yeah.
17:57
I'm gonna actually to see if I can't.
17:59
Was it dragged like all the way throughout that door and then
18:01
out to our front door? Actually, while you're doing the
18:04
salting, you notice that the front door is just wide open.
18:06
Shit. Well, that's no good.
18:10
Right, right. No good indeed.
18:14
And you you see a couple of scuff marks around the living
18:17
room area, so it looks like the coffin had been dragged through
18:20
this area. Coffin's pretty heavy, so they.
18:24
Weren't gone that long. And yeah, well, obviously, like
18:27
you, you disappeared around the same time I was entering the
18:30
house. Shit, Yeah, I'm going to head
18:32
that way. I'm going to see if I can't
18:34
track down the bro who's dragging the coffin out of here.
18:37
You also spent quite a bit of time SO.
18:39
Yeah, I know, I know. Shut up.
18:40
I know. I got a little distance on me,
18:42
but they're dragging the coffin, so that should that should slow
18:44
down. OK, you come running out the
18:48
front door. As soon as you make it out the
18:50
door, you are met face to face with a priest, and he puts his
18:57
hands up. He's like, whoa, hey, friend.
18:59
Hey, how's it going? You all right?
19:01
You look like you've seen a ghost or something.
19:04
I would like to immediately sense motive.
19:07
Is that a thing? Tell me that's a thing.
19:09
What do we have for that? Let me look.
19:13
I mean, we got deception that's trying to deceive somebody.
19:16
Could you? No.
19:17
It'd be intuition, wouldn't it? Don't we have that?
19:19
Yeah. Wouldn't there just be an
19:20
investigation? Or insight.
19:22
Or insight, yeah. Yeah, give it an insight rule.
19:26
OK. Or would it be like perception
19:29
and instinct? Oh, that's a good one.
19:33
Instinct, he would just be, he wouldn't really look for it.
19:35
I feel like a perception you just see well.
19:37
You're talking about like you're feeling the vibe off of
19:39
somebody. That would be the instinct.
19:41
Trust your instincts. OK, what?
19:42
What's your addition, Grandpa? Well, I assume it's
19:46
Intelligence, so +3. OK, nice.
19:50
Yeah. So you notice he wasn't, he's
19:53
not trying to do you any harm. He.
19:54
But he came here looking for somebody.
19:58
What the fuck you doing on my property?
20:03
Well friends, I don't know if you're aware, I am the owner of
20:07
this cabin that rents it out. OK shit, I heard on a radio some
20:13
friends of yours are in trouble. I was helping him out and I
20:17
heard you go over it and so I came up here to see if it if you
20:20
were the one that was talking to him, to see if they needed help.
20:23
The priest recognizes your voice from the radio.
20:26
That's how he knows who you are. And what happened to my friends?
20:32
Oh, they're being taken to my church right now by some police
20:34
officers. They're causing a whole lot of
20:37
trouble in my town. There's a whole thing with Boo
20:39
hags and us trying to live peacefully with them and your
20:41
friends, quite frankly, our cousin.
20:44
A ruckus, you understand me? Can you describe the Rock, You
20:48
say? Did did he say live peacefully
20:52
with Boo hags? Yes, he did.
20:55
The fuck is a Boo hag? They're like women, but worse.
21:00
Oh, oh God. They're witches, making me male
21:03
or female. Right.
21:08
Traditionally female. Yes.
21:10
No. OK, They're from the Gullah
21:12
Geechee people. You remember that cartoon show
21:14
Gullah. Gullah Island.
21:16
Yes. Those people like S Carolinian
21:20
and Georgian, well technically former slaves in the area, came
21:26
to be known as the Geechee people.
21:29
Gotcha. Gullah Geechee people, I think.
21:31
Gotcha, gotcha. God, I just thought about that
21:38
in a while. I love that show.
21:41
Anyways, grandpa, what are you doing?
21:45
Oh, he did. Fuck this, I don't just trust
21:49
this dude for shit. I'm lift my gun and firing at
21:52
him. No, God damn it.
21:54
Fuck yeah, that's the spirit. Now he said he wants to live
21:57
with fucking Boo hags. I don't trust him.
22:00
Fire away at that priest. Come on, 20.
22:07
Oh. There is a general code of
22:09
conduct. To be in his crew.
22:12
What is it, Grandpa? Well I rolled the 15.
22:15
Is this just for? What do I add to it?
22:18
Decks for firearms. OK, just decks +2, so 17 total.
22:23
OK, you fire and this priest just moves at ungodly speed.
22:27
He just like sidesteps your bullet and looks at you and he's
22:29
like, hey, friend, I'm only going to allow you to do that
22:33
maybe one more time before we got to get serious here.
22:38
Go ahead and use that up. Shoot him one more time.
22:41
God. Damn it, take another round or
22:44
take another turn to chamber a fucking round in that gun or
22:48
what you got up your sleeve there, buddy.
22:51
Yeah, well, I'm kind of saving that for if shit happens.
22:57
Fair enough, fair enough. I would rather at this point
23:01
fucking take the what, 5 foot step backwards?
23:04
Shut this fucking door. OK, he's far enough away that
23:09
you wouldn't take a a reaction attack or anything.
23:12
So stepping back, shutting that door.
23:15
Yeah. OK, so you run in the door, you
23:18
shut that door. Does that door have a lock?
23:21
Let's see, What's your charisma? Am I got a sweet talk to door
23:28
zero 10 so 0? Charisma is also your luck
23:30
checks. There's no lock on this door,
23:34
Grandpa. God damn it.
23:36
OK, well then I I want to do the old high school thing where you
23:39
put your foot in spot where the people can't open the door, but
23:42
I feel like he's just going to fucking break the door open and
23:44
my foot will go with it. But I mean, at least at least he
23:47
won't catch you smoking in the bathroom.
23:50
Then I'm going to This is right here.
23:51
This is a door, right? Can you see what I'm
23:53
highlighting? Yes, that is a door to yourself.
23:56
Oh fuck that. You guys go to the other door.
23:57
I'm dumb. Yeah, I realized that earlier.
23:59
I'm like, there's another door there, isn't there?
24:02
Yeah, my bad. That sort of door was, yeah, I'm
24:04
going to go do that door because I already have my stuff set up
24:06
in this room. So yeah.
24:09
Cool. You make it through there and
24:10
you lock that door and you're not in combat.
24:14
So that's going to be that's going to be your turn for now
24:17
you're you're in there. I'll let you lock both of those
24:20
doors. You can't lock the one to the
24:22
South, though not yet going back to night out.
24:27
Oh, Hazy escaped who? Who wants to go first?
24:31
One night out? It's your turn.
24:33
You're the one that's going first here.
24:35
OK. So you get taken a couple more
24:39
feet down the road by this cop and now you have just two cops
24:42
watching you. So it's copping is not going to
24:45
really work too well here. Yeah, no, definitely not.
24:50
Well. Fuck me I guess.
24:53
Yeah, see, this is what happens when you show up and two of your
24:55
friends are fighting cops and then you jump in.
24:57
You're the only one arrested by cops.
24:59
I know, I'm just trying to fucking help them.
25:01
He. Escalates shit and I'm over here
25:04
now in fucking. Cops hold this bag for me for a
25:08
second. Go talk to this guy.
25:09
If that's not the most North Carolinian thing I've ever
25:12
heard, some. Boo shit.
25:14
I don't even know him. At least just for my turn, can I
25:19
do like an investigation check to see what's around me?
25:22
There's anything that pops out noticeably.
25:25
Yeah, OK. What's your stat?
25:29
For what investigation? Yeah.
25:33
That'd be easier for intelligence.
25:35
Nice. You notice the the road you guys
25:39
are travelling on is well worn and you're, you're a Huntsman.
25:45
You you track a lot of things that the prints that you see
25:49
aren't usual shoes. They're not like hunting boots.
25:53
It looks like a lot of dress shoes and maybe work boots that
25:56
travel this trail. The fuck?
26:01
OK. Beard.
26:04
That is weird. Hey, So what are you doing?
26:08
I'm going to run up to the South side of the house and kind of
26:11
try to peek into the windows, see if I see anything going on.
26:16
Grandpa, grandpa, Grandpa, help me.
26:20
All right, so you peek into which window do you want to peek
26:22
into? You pop up.
26:23
I mean, if I'm just running up randomly, I guess that would be
26:26
your choice to pick because it's not fair if I pick.
26:29
I mean, it'd probably be the first window.
26:30
So you're looking in this window.
26:32
Is that what you're saying? Yeah, sure.
26:34
I'm just going to try to like scan all of them on that South
26:36
side, see if I see anything you mean.
26:41
You hit this first window. There's nothing here.
26:43
You go over to the second window to the still on the South side,
26:47
but it's West of where you are and you notice that window is
26:52
unlocked and you can open it and you're standing on crates.
26:56
Do that. So you open the window and you
26:59
crawl inside or you hanging outside?
27:01
I'm going inside. I'm going to be sneaky about it
27:04
though. Try to be quiet.
27:06
Not my common self. OK, as soon as you sneak in this
27:10
room the windows slam shut, the light goes out and make a
27:16
scaredy puss roll. No fucking way.
27:19
Yes, Sir, man. It's the same one grandpa walked
27:22
into. I was.
27:23
Thinking the same thing. Son of a bitch.
27:26
That I didn't tell anyone about. All right, I got you.
27:29
Oh, what is your thing, Max Scaredy?
27:33
Puss is 35, hazy. You go in this room and you
27:41
don't feel afraid at all. You feel fine.
27:43
Like the lights kick back on, the window opens back up, and
27:47
the door to east of you just creaks open.
27:51
Time to go. That was cool.
27:54
Yeah, mind you AZ, you're still at 0HP because you got shot.
28:01
Yeah, I'm gonna light a cigarette.
28:02
Ain't my turn. All right, roll hit dice.
28:08
What was it? No.
28:10
Was it AD 6? I don't know.
28:12
Look at your sheet. Oh yes, D6 nice instead of 1.
28:20
A. All righty Rue, you are, you are
28:23
back to 1 HPI mean that's all you need really.
28:27
Technically. Grandpa, what's happening with
28:32
you buddy? Fucking home alone in here.
28:34
You set up traps. Two things.
28:37
One, did I hear anything like, well, I'm going to be moving to
28:40
that other room. Is this OK?
28:42
Sorry, so the southern door from the pool hall is.
28:46
Does that have a lock on it? It sure does.
28:50
All right, I'm going to lock that and start checking out the
28:53
windows, obviously chambering another round.
28:57
OK, Yeah, You, you lock that door, you check the window to
29:01
the east, there's nothing there. You go back to the window at the
29:04
north and you see the priest just staying there, very calmly,
29:07
just smoking a cigarette, and he's flipping through his Bible.
29:10
He's not doing anything. He didn't even offer me a
29:12
cigarette. He did shoot at him.
29:16
Hold on. He he also said that he was, you
29:19
know, doing stuff and he doesn't know.
29:22
Maybe I'm just really against religion.
29:25
He's very used to it. He assumed you didn't want a
29:28
cigarette, that's for sure. Yeah.
29:31
Yeah, anyway, so is he still? Is he just smoking, staring at
29:35
the door, like waiting for me to come back or?
29:38
He's not paying attention. He is reading his Bible.
29:43
Bible. That word feels like it's
29:45
probably a little loose translated.
29:48
He's reading the Old Testament. Quran got it all right.
29:52
Not Quran. He's reading the Quran.
29:54
Got it. He's not reading the Quran.
29:57
Classic Grandpa. Is that it?
30:01
Are you done? OK.
30:05
Shoot first. Ask questions.
30:06
Now. Don't listen to the chaos
30:10
gremlin. So I'm going to cross the radio
30:12
again because he said he's got that, that they're going to he's
30:17
they're taking my friends to the church and I still know who the
30:21
fuck has the radio on or off. So I'm going to I'm going to go
30:25
cross the radio again. Like, guys, we got some real
30:28
preacher dude over at the at the cabin.
30:31
What's going on? I need information.
30:35
I've been trying to remember for like 3 turns to turn my radio
30:39
and I keep forgetting. Night out on them, they actually
30:42
stop here. They force night out to go up a
30:45
bank mint in the southern little part.
30:47
So the the little bank with their end goes N up here, but
30:52
they push him S up the embankment and while the cops
30:56
going he looks back the other cop with the eye patch and he
31:00
nods his head. No, I don't know why I'm
31:02
explaining this to you. None of you fucking see this.
31:04
But Night out, yeah, you're just being pushed by one cop.
31:08
And yeah, it's Night out's turn. God damn it.
31:13
So I'm assuming this other cop is just on me right now do.
31:19
You think both cops are on you? You haven't, unless you want to
31:21
turn around and take another hit to the face.
31:24
No bullshit. Well, can I try to make a?
31:30
Is it like saving grace throw? Try to escape?
31:34
Because I noticed that we're going off the path and on to
31:38
just randomness that's not actually walked a lot.
31:44
Yeah, make a, you make a stealth roll to see if you can escape.
31:48
It's going to be a -, 2 because this guy has you directly in his
31:52
line of sight and he he's escorting you.
31:54
So it's not good chances. God damn it.
32:00
And for all you know, there's two cops there.
32:01
Yeah, well, this definitely feels like I'm about to get
32:04
taken Outback like Old Yeller. Oh, or they're going to make you
32:08
squeal like a pig. Where that too fucking
32:11
delivering promises? Yeah, fuck it.
32:15
What is that, 15 or 16? OK, while you're coming up the
32:22
embankment, you just donkey kink this cop and he goes right back
32:28
down the embankment and then you notice the other cops not even
32:32
there anymore. So what are you doing?
32:34
Fucking hauling the ass is what I'm doing.
32:37
In a direction of some sort. God damn it, I guess I can go
32:45
West where that tree's at and try to go on the other side of
32:50
that, because it looks like it's a Cliff, right?
32:54
Oh yeah, That's like just back down to the embankment there.
32:56
OK, so you're going to the other side of the tree, the southwest
32:59
side of the tree? Yeah, OK.
33:03
You just make it over there. Oh, perfect.
33:06
He's just on the other side breathing real hard.
33:09
Shouldn't had all them extra doughnuts.
33:12
Yeah. I'm going to turn my fucking
33:15
radio on. Good job.
33:17
I have a whim. Everybody's radio's on Whoop
33:20
whoop. I'm going to go anyone there?
33:26
Over. Wait, I was handcuffed behind my
33:28
back, right? Now your handcuffs in front of
33:33
you. Oh perfect.
33:34
Do I still have my radio then? Yeah, you still got your radio.
33:38
They didn't disarm, they just took.
33:39
Actually, they didn't even take your weapon.
33:42
They just put your bow on you and you couldn't get it off
33:43
because you have handcuffs on. OK, so yeah, I turn my radio
33:49
down really low and then I go back to Hazy.
33:52
Yeah. Where you at it?
33:54
Was really smart 'cause that cop was about to find your ass if
33:56
you hadn't turned the radio down.
33:59
I'm going to tell him I'm in. I'm in the original cabin man.
34:02
Just chilling in the bedroom trying to smoke another
34:05
cigarette real quick. Get some more help out.
34:08
Waiting on y'all. What's the plan?
34:12
You OK? No.
34:14
Finally escaped from the other two guys.
34:16
So now I'm trying to figure out what the Hell's going on and get
34:18
my way back. Oh shit.
34:21
What the fuck's going on with this preacher?
34:23
Easy. Before you say anything more,
34:25
you throw up violently on the floor and take three points of
34:28
damage and you're down. Mother of.
34:30
Jesus Christ. Can can I put my radio on while
34:35
I did that so they heard it? Yeah, you, you did all that, but
34:38
you can't answer anymore. OK, nice.
34:42
What's going on with the preacher?
34:46
Wait, you got the preacher there?
34:48
Yeah, I'm looking at him right now.
34:51
OK so from what I can get is that he is the overall
34:56
controller ringleader for these two cops that are here that were
35:00
just escorting me but I was able to escape and last I saw Hazy
35:04
tried to escape into and he got away.
35:09
I don't know what to do with this information.
35:13
Grandpa, give me, let me give you.
35:15
What's your perception stat? Perception, perception
35:19
Perception two unless I can notice a pattern and then it is
35:27
a four. Usually this way, you're talking
35:31
to him. The priest picks up his cell
35:33
phone. He answers the cell phone.
35:36
He looks over at the window, at you, and then he just walks
35:40
north of you. But then you smell smoke.
35:43
Oh, no, no. Hazy.
35:49
That wasn't be that sound. I like how you don't you don't
35:53
think he's calling you to like check on you.
35:54
You just think he's calling to blame you for the issue at hand
35:57
it. Wasn't me the talk guys, I'm
36:00
dead. I did probably shit myself
36:03
though. Is that what you're smelling?
36:05
Well wait, if Hazy turned his radio up, wouldn't grandpa be
36:09
able to hear it in the house if he yelled into the radio?
36:12
Probably not from this distance through two walls.
36:16
Well, actually with you guys, because you seem to keep your
36:17
videos on Max volume at all times maybe.
36:20
Yeah, I'm deaf as fuck. My shit's on Max.
36:24
I wrote a perception for you. You do hear a can you hear night
36:27
out talking through your radio and you hear him talking in the
36:30
other room. At least you think it is.
36:31
Sounds like an echo. You guys need to turn your
36:34
radios to like barely hearable distance, all right?
36:38
What do you mean, you guys? That's what I fucking did.
36:40
I get this time, it helps this, but usually I'm like, hey, are
36:43
you guys OK? And then like something hears
36:45
you from like 100 feet away because you keep your radios on
36:47
full blast. That's bullshit.
36:49
All those people are like 10 feet away from them.
36:50
I know all. Right, Grandpa, you heard that?
36:55
Or do you want to do anything? Yeah, I'm going to start moving
36:58
my way towards where I believe Hazy is.
37:01
That being said, I do feel like I need to point out because of
37:03
previous experiences, I will open the door for where that
37:06
room is. I ain't going in the room.
37:10
That room down there? Fair enough.
37:11
Yeah, for sure. I'm going to tell you that when
37:14
you come up. Don't cut me.
37:17
You you come out into the dining room area and you notice that
37:20
the door to the southwest of the bedroom that freaked you out
37:24
when you went in there is open. Uh huh.
37:28
OK, I'm going to be moving towards there, like around the
37:32
right side of the table and peering into the room.
37:36
Hazy. Go ahead and do a saving throw.
37:39
An 8. OK, you guys, you're still down.
37:44
I'm still dead. Well, but I am by myself again.
37:50
Do I want to try to go back to the house or try finding this
37:54
church? So what you get for not trying
37:56
to fight the cops, you know, faster, maybe, maybe I'm going
37:59
to react. He was fighting like soon as you
38:01
were. Got to react, I came up and
38:05
tried killing one because he was pointing a gun at you.
38:07
Yeah, Night out was a real one for that.
38:09
You've you've. The only reason why they knew
38:11
that we were there was because I shot first, so don't forget.
38:14
Jesus Christ. That's even worse.
38:18
Initiative. And then you left night out.
38:21
Yeah. Hearsay.
38:27
We have it recorded. Did I hear that coyote's missing
38:33
or gone? Yeah, you heard that when they
38:36
put it over the radio. OK, so I guess I can try going.
38:41
I don't know if I want to go back to the town and try to
38:45
search those rooms that haven't been searched yet or try to go
38:49
back up to the cabin. That's smart, that's smart.
38:53
He can always talk to grandpa, see, Like if he needs help there
38:57
or if you want to do it that way, you have a team, you can
39:00
talk this out. I'm not used to this.
39:04
I go over the radio to Grandpa. Hey Grandpa, you you get up
39:09
there or you need help? Defined good I I can see hazy.
39:17
He looks like he's seen better days.
39:20
He's Gypsy. They always look bad.
39:23
The preacher dude walked away. I've got a cell phone.
39:27
And then he walked away. Yeah.
39:31
Well shit. OK, so you don't need my help
39:34
then So. You got it covered, right?
39:39
Yeah, where's where's Bay Bird? Bay bird's down.
39:44
Down where? In the village like.
39:48
By the river. Where they're having that
39:52
shootout with the cops, you went down.
39:56
Fuck, I don't know. I'm what's the plan?
39:59
Are we being back here or are we going to where Bay Bird is?
40:03
I was thinking of going looking for in the building see if I
40:06
can't find Coyote and maybe his skin.
40:11
That's probably a good idea I'll get.
40:13
Hazy. Maybe we should help our friend
40:14
Hazy. Oh, there we go.
40:15
Yeah. I'll get hazy and we'll we'll
40:18
head towards the town. OK, I'll start heading there and
40:21
start looking in different places.
40:25
Grandpa, the smell of smoke's getting stronger, and you look
40:27
to the north and you see the couches are engulfed in flames
40:30
as well as the front of the house.
40:32
Yeah, it looks like vines. I don't have a token for fire,
40:35
but all that right there is on fire.
40:37
But trust us, it's really, really hot.
40:39
Damn it, Hazy. It's just dead hazy.
40:44
It wasn't me. Put your cigarettes out next
40:47
time. God damn it.
40:47
Fuck it it. Was me just God damn help?
40:50
I'm I'm going to go over to the threshold of the that room, grab
40:55
Hazy and pull him the fuck out. OK, well easy.
40:59
Make a saving throw at grandpa comes to pull, you make it at
41:03
advantage. Either way it works.
41:07
Thank God 15. Grandpa reaches in, doesn't
41:11
touch the floor. I'm assuming you're doing the.
41:14
Yeah, I'm doing the whole like I am on the.
41:17
What do you call it? The door frame slash wall area
41:21
and I'm reaching into the room, grabbing him and pulling him the
41:24
fuck out. Yeah, you're the girl on the
41:26
first day. You don't want to go in the
41:28
bedroom. Yes.
41:29
Or when you're the guy, when you go over to the girl's house,
41:32
like you know, and her parents are watching you just kind of
41:34
stand outside the room. Hey, what's up?
41:36
Oh yeah, trying to avoid the shotgun wedding I got you.
41:39
Yeah. You just grab Hazy by his hoodie
41:40
and his hair and you slide him out.
41:44
Gentle. As soon as hazy.
41:46
As soon as you have Hazy out, Hazy just sits up.
41:50
Hey, guys. What's going on?
41:53
What's up? You got a cigarette?
41:54
Instantly loving a cigarette. All right, give me a hit dice.
42:00
Ford. That one was a menthol you
42:03
feeling real good baby girl. However, the only reason you
42:08
were able to like that is because the fire has gathered so
42:10
much closer to you and grandpa and where you guys are.
42:13
Oh God, we need to go. We're going to head towards, oh,
42:16
I am going to head towards the southern that the room where the
42:19
coffin was in and get the fuck out of that window.
42:22
OK, Grandpa goes into that room. Hey there, are you falling
42:24
behind? Yeah, I was going to say I'm
42:26
going to run back into the room and that was just not fine.
42:30
No, I'm going to follow. We're just going to say you guys
42:33
make it to the window. You're not going to have to make
42:34
athletics because whether it fucking hurt or not, you are
42:37
going to jump out away from this fire.
42:39
You both make it out. Nice, like in the movies?
42:43
Grandpa, as soon as you're out, you stand up and this cop has a
42:45
gun to you, but there's two of you and one of him.
42:51
So whose turn is it? About say yeah, I'm waiting for
42:54
whose turn. Roll initiative, boys. 5 is that
42:59
plus anything? No.
43:01
Damn 13. This guy is A1 nice, very nice.
43:11
Hazy. You hop out with grandpa.
43:16
Grandpa is stunned for a second, so you get to make the first
43:18
move. Yeah, I'm going to pull out my
43:21
gun. So anyways, I start blasting.
43:26
Pull out my gun blast. Do it.
43:29
Let's see. Oh, you hit hey.
43:36
Yeah. Early.
43:38
Let's see what's the damage. Early.
43:39
Oh wait, what was the number? Is it 18 plus whatever the fuck?
43:44
What's your decks, Ding Dong? 04, so it'd be 22.
43:47
Add a girl, give me some damage D6 give.
43:52
Me that D baby. 5. Five points of damage.
43:58
You shoot this cop, he doesn't even see it coming.
44:00
You shot him right in the eye patch.
44:02
What a Dick move. Didn't even see it coming.
44:07
Insult to injury. All he heard was whoa.
44:11
Like a Quentin Tarantino movie, his body doesn't move, it just
44:14
falls backwards and his boots kick up.
44:18
Like a sack of potatoes. That would have been a better
44:21
way to were to to describe it, but I'm the dumb.
44:24
SO that's where we are. So one cop down, one cop in
44:29
pursuit. I think that is all the time we
44:32
have for today. So everyone is kind of on the
44:34
run, running from cops or running from fire.
44:38
Baby birds down somewhere and coyote is missing.
44:42
But you guys were being taken to a church, and so now you're
44:46
having to deal with a popular boopy priest.
44:48
That's after you, allegedly. Allegedly.
44:53
That is not a human. He's not human.
44:57
He didn't decide. For that, I took a shot at him
45:00
from a pretty close range and he wasn't ready for it.
45:02
And he, as you've described it, unearthly speed dodged my
45:05
bullet. Oh, so that's the way we're
45:07
playing. All right, you got to.
45:09
Also have teammates throwing up, webbing and exploding and
45:13
molesting people. Into webs, Yeah.
45:15
And for the record, I don't think they're human either.
45:18
They're not human either. This is all the matrix.
45:21
All right, everyone, say goodbye.
45:24
Bye. Transmission lost.
45:31
Teen status unknown.