Latest / Relationship Coaching Group Podcast / "Loving The Wrong Person" Part 1 of 2

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"Loving The Wrong Person" Part 1 of 2 · Relationship Coaching Group Podcast

• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, wonderful people.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Roxanne, your host.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we're so thrilled to be hanging out with you all again today.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're listening or on your commute, going for a walk, or just chilling at home, hold on tight because we have such a great topic lined up for you.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Loving the wrong person.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: And this is part one, because we have a lot to lot to cover.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: But before we get started, first please like and follow our channel.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And now I would like to welcome my co-host, the professor.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: How are you, Professor?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Good morning, and how are you today?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing wonderfully well, thank you.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And how well how about you?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing good.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think about our today's topic?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Loving the wrong person.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is a topic that's going to touch a lot of people.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because this there are so many things that make loving the wrong person.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many areas to cover.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, there is.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't think one and two will probably be it.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: There'll probably be three, four, and five down the row.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: We'll try to cut cover most of the uh the highlights of this topic.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it just feels like one of those days where we just need to pull up a comfy chair, get real, and have a good heart-to-heart with our listeners.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you agree?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: I got my coffee.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in a comfy chair.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, today's topic, loving the wrong person, and again, this is part one, is basically a universal rite of passage.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's it sounds heavy at first, but I promise we're bringing all the positive vibes, zero judgment, and lots of clarity.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because we've all been there, right, Professor?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: The good is realizing you're with the wrong person isn't a failure.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: It can be the plot twist that pushes you toward the right person.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Amen of that.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I love the saying, it's a stepping stone.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to share and have a few aha moments and offer you the best tools to recognize when a relationship might not be your perfect match.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Professor, you ready to dive in?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: I am.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: But can I just say something real?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, please.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: As we go through this, I hope people understand.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I hear too many times I hate these relationships.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm tired of being treated like this.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Both sides.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: But you have to be accountable for your actions as well.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because you either contributed to it or you let it happen.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't stop it when you saw the red flags.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: You kept going past that.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: So you have to hold some accountability to yourself.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And in relationships, we we all should do that.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of people want to blame everything on the one person.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Or something else.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or something else.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now we want we want to make sure you understand.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Love doesn't always mean compatibility.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you can genuinely love someone and still be completely wrong for each other.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Loving the wrong person is like having the right Wi-Fi password for the wrong network.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: You keep typing it in, but you're still not getting connected.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, because we're going to discuss love can be real while compatibility is poor.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Compatibility.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because it's that love thing.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Your heart's pounding, your stomach's turning, your body's shaking.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, look at that person.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, it compatibility is a big thing.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And chemistry is not the same as compatibility since we're on that topic.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Chemistry is your body reacting to the excitements and everything that's going on.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Compatibility is where two people are connected in multiple levels.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: That means the compatibility is there.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: You think you not think the same, but you think very like-minded, you keep doing the same things, you know.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: You shouldn't be stating someone identical to you because then growth is not there.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because you both fall into the same traps.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: But you should look at somebody who enjoys some of the same things as you.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're not going to enjoy everything.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Do you enjoy doing everything that your partner likes doing?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: You no, not not at all.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to because you're individuals.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: So but if your husband's sitting there and he's watching uh wrestling or boxing or whatever he likes to watch, do you sit down and watch with him?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I I have my own uh uh media solutions.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: But if he asked you, would you?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, sure.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, some sometimes you you can it it's a give and take.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: But vice versa.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you asked him to sit and watch a movie with you, he'd do it, right?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: Pro maybe.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Don't make me call that memory.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now listen, you can kind of piggybacking on what you're saying, you can care deeply about someone who doesn't share your values, goals, or vision for the future.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can care deeply, but would that work if you don't have the same values, goals, or vision for the future?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: That might not be the right person.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, again I mean, talk not to cut you off, Professor, but looking at a a TV show, you know, sitting down, that's trivial.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I'm saying just from basic compatibility and art, because some of the little things sometimes mean more than the big things.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're let's say political, your political views are not the same, we're seeing relationships being destroyed over political views.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: So you gotta have some compatibility in everything from political all the way through.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that that's what we're saying here too.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, loving someone and not having value the same values or goals or visions, that can hinder a relationship, just what you're saying.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what about when chemistry makes you ignore the red flags?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, listen, sometimes the attraction is so strong that common sense quietly leaves the building.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know what happens there, right?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: We jump in the bed right away because all reasoning goes out the window.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Next thing you know, you're pregnant.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because of the chemistry.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: The chemistry.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then you see 17 red flags and say, hmm, I think they're great for decorations.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: We're not lying there.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean, there are people see the red flags, but a lot of times people think they can turn the red flags to green flags.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And not so much so if a dog if a dog's got uh uh spots, you can't change the spots on the dog.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can spray paint the dog, but still still gonna be the dog.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And the do you remember that that takes me to that old saying, you you uh uh you can't you can't change the spots on a leopard or something like that.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: You can't something like that.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: But that's the thing is again, you you we we take chemistry, we take these things, and we think that we can mold and change people.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: What you see is what you're gonna get.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're if you're seeing it, that's the that's the key.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: But you gotta but you gotta take the beer goggles off.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Open your eyes and look.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said, a lot of times they want to take that red, red flag the red flags and dip it in green dye, you know.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, because uh ultimately the first three months is your honeymoon phase.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's your g and me level make, you know.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And as you once you get past that, or you know, even sooner, hopefully you're seeing you're through that that honeymoon phase, you should be collecting the data.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: You should be looking at all these things.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then you should be evaluating them things and going, oh, hold on, that that don't make sense.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's the point of why do we sometimes explain away obvious warning signs?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is just what you're saying.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: You it's early in the relationship.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many reasons you don't want to see you you ignore the red the red flags.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because your heart's beating, your emotions are.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: We have such good chemistry in bed.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: But where's the chemistry when you're both in the real world?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because we we're so quick.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, people there was a survey done a long time ago.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: People who waited to have sex as opposed to those having sex within a in a short period of time.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Those that were in a short period of time, they didn't see anything because they got caught up into the emotion.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional connection.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Those who didn't actually saw things differently.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because you allowed your emotions, you that can you're you've made that connection so quickly that you don't want to see the other things.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And are they seeing the person as they are or as they hope they'll become?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: I that it's a lot of times it's what you want them to be.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: That knight in shining armor or that princess, you know, that queen.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: It again, we move too quick.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then the question is when does attraction become an excuse for tolerating unhealthy behavior?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's that chemistry.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: So you tolerate more because you're you're in you're involved, you're caught up into that chemistry pool, right?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Emotions, uh that's a dangerous thing.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you get caught up in those emotions, especially when it becomes sexual emotions, whoo.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: People do some dumb stuff.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, are you loving the person or are you loving their potent potential?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now that that that's a big one.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're I I one of the things that we tend to do, and I think this is more on women than men, and that is we see what someone could be in our head as opposed to what they are now.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because what you see now is probably gonna be that same person later on down the road.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And more of it.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever you've seen.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, you're you're only getting the sugar-coated version right now because you're in the honeymoon phase.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I I I've had clients where when they first meet and they begin living together, of course, as you said earlier, sometimes it's sooner than they should.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Guy has the or the the well, let me not say one of them have they both have good jobs.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then one of them starts, but they get together, put pooling their money together, doing, doing great things, and then all of a sudden, one of them falls back on the job market.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're looking, their looking time goes by, a month, two months, six months, and they one is still pulling the weight.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, and then you ask the you you you ask your your your client, well, what is it?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they're smart, and and I know they they'll get a good job.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I know they'll uh they they they can get a good job because they're smart and they're they know the the industry.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So here's that potential, but you're not looking at what's happening six months, eight months in front of you.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, a lot of times they they just see the person going to work.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: But when that person comes home and they're telling you, oh man, today I had to cuss someone out, or today, you know, I I I got back from lunch late, you didn't hear all the pre-stuff prior.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: They did they're telling them themselves that job's not gonna last long.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's a difference if you got laid off.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: But if you got fired, or just just quit for no reason.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because they weren't paying enough.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because you didn't listen to the the red flags or saw the red flags when they were popping up.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, dating someone's potential, you know what it's like, Professor?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Go ahead.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's like buying a lottery ticket and then become upset when you find out all you bought was just a bunch of losing numbers.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then the truth.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh goodness.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, and it is because we when we see there comes to have to be a point in your life when you have to say you people have a type.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, I I like that guy with the clean cut and everything, but with a bad boy side.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: We have all these ridiculous expectations of people instead of just looking at who they are.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then thinking in your head, oh, they'll change.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they'll change when they know how much I really love them.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then they'll change.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Here's here's another, they'll change once they get their life together.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: How long will you wait for that?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or they'll change once they stop talking to their ex.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the here here's something for you.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: A man, not even married to this woman, helps her through school, pays her schooling, does all that stuff.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: She always goes out with her friends, never has time for him, but he takes care of her, puts her through school, help pays for her rent.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then once school is over and she gets a nice job, then she says, We're just not on the same path anymore.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: I make more money than you.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: There was your red flag.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're not married.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Where's your protection?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have an agreement?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we we keep doing because there's potential.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: You think after they're done with the college, we're gonna build a company together, we're gonna do all this together.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Stop thinking of when you look at because no discussion was had.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: They say, well, I want to go to beauty school.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: You pay for beauty school.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: But they didn't tell you what they were gonna do after.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: They just want to go do this.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well now um and then here here's you know, expecting your partner to to change or you're waiting for them to change.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe after commitment, maybe maybe when they're ready for commitment.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: But again, as as you say, you're saying, one partner is taking care of the other and helping them with their goals, and once they reach their goals, then they're gone.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: No commitment, no togetherness, no nothing.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: We don't ask questions.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Listen up, people.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: You're just dating, and your other partner says, Hey, okay, now I I'm gonna go back to school or I want to start a business, all that stuff, and it's gonna cost this.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: And they say, Well, you know what, I I've got some extra money I can put in.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: You no, you shouldn't be offering any of that because first off, you've only known for a couple months.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Secondly, uh, in a f I've talked about this before in financial, don't share money.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: You're not married.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And secondly, you don't have you you've asked, you've asked no questions, you don't know where it's going, what it's doing, where's it gonna go from there, and you have no letter drawn up saying that you know they would owe you back the money or nothing.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because I love him.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Come on.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, love doesn't take you 100%.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it'll take you so far.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one one thing that they can uh our listeners can ask themselves, am I loving who this person actually is or who I believe they could become again?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or and ask yourself, you're loving the wrong person when your heart says yes, but your brain says, you better sit down.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: You better sit down and think about it.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: The late, great, amazing, beautiful woman once said, What's love got to do with it?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And we throw that word around so easily.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because your your heart will go places that your mind is telling you, yeah, make a U-turn.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes our emotions are making decisions our wisdom wouldn't approve.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you can't you sometimes when you are in that phase that your your emotions, everything's being sometimes you've got to take a step back.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: And evaluate.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be afraid to do that.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Check yourself.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes your heart is saying, give them another chance, and your brain is in the corner holding up a PowerPoint presentation titled Evidence.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, emotions can overpower logic, as we were saying, and then there's danger making permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Attachment can make unhealthy relationships feel impossible to leave.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope our listeners are taking taking notes.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you you're loving the wrong person when the relationship requires you to keep fixing everything.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're constantly fixing the relationship or in charge of damage control, you're not dating anymore.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: You've become manager of customer service.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: You have a way of putting things in perspective there.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and we're gonna we're you know, we're kind of w winding this down because we have so much uh so much content uh to discuss, but relationships require efforts from both people.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: One person can't communicate, apologize, compromise, heal, and grow without the other taking part and being a part of the process.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's as we were saying, it's a two-party process.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a corporation of love.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: True love is a business.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: You have to look at it as two people coming together and running this love business together.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens when you're always the one initiating difficult conversations?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because difficult conversations are inevitable.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: You you can't in no matter where the relationship, what stages is, there's always conversations to have.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Some people don't like having them, some people don't know how to handle it.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And some people avoid it.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: They avoid them right because they don't they don't want to discuss it.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: When are you getting another job?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, when are you gonna help start helping out with the bills?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they don't want to they avoid it like a plague.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Professor, as we close part one of Loving the Wrong Person, listeners, I want to make sure you come back next week for part two.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: But today we're gonna leave you with this.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the hardest person to let go is the person you still love.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And we touched that's one of our um one of our podcasts.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can go back and and catch that, listeners.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: But remember, loving someone doesn't mean you have to lose yourself trying to keep them.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the right relationship shouldn't require you to constantly question your worth, your value, or whether you're enough.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're loving the wrong person, don't beat yourself up.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Learn from it, grow from it, and most importantly, don't let the wrong relationship convince you that you're incapable of being loved the right way.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because the goal isn't to find someone to love, the goal is to find someone you can love without losing yourself in the process.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right, Professor?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Any last words before I close it out?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: You have to stop, say to yourself, what has love got to do with it?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: And ask the difficult questions of yourself.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, is this person right for me?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: And are we going in the same direction?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's important.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because we have to at some point you have to evaluate, take the data, put it together, and make a conscious decision.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because what has love got to do with it?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole thing.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we we want to say I love them, but you have you for you don't look at anything that's happening.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes stop, turn away, evaluate.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: But don't make compromises.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because the moment you say, Well, I I can forgive you, it's a it's a quirk.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: I can let it go.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Those are good.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Those are good points, Professor.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we want to remind our listeners, please don't forget to like, follow, download, and share this episode with someone who may benefit from this podcast.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you can find us at relationshipcoaching group.com where you can email us if you have any questions or comments, or just want to learn about the services we offer.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: So until next time, take care of your heart, choose wisely, and never forget, you are too valuable to settle for just attention rather than genuine affection.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because what's love got to do with it?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: You like that, don't you, Professor?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: I too.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know what?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: It it we hear that term thrown around so much that they love this person, and there's way more to it than the emotional and the physical and everything else.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: There is.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: But to our listeners, thank you for your continued support.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because without you, this is all waste of time.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: But because of you guys, we keep doing this and we hope that we can help someone.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, we offer a 30-minute free free session.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, free of charge.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: No matter where you are, we're happy to talk to you.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: So much love and blessings to you all.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, you're not alone.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Together, we got this.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: We got you!