Latest / Millennial Mustard Seed / S5 134. Carly Tebbs Micro message – Acceptance as an Idol

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S5 134. Carly Tebbs Micro message – Acceptance as an Idol · Millennial Mustard Seed

• 0:35
  Welcome back to the Millennium Mustard Seed.
• 0:38
  I'm your host Rod and I have a micro message for you from Carly
• 0:43
  Tebbs acceptance as an idol. This one hits close to the heart
• 0:48
  and I know it's going to be helpful to hear Carly's
• 0:51
  reflection. Recently, Prince and Carly have
• 0:55
  both been helping with the podcast.
• 0:57
  They've joined the MMS team, if I can say it that way.
• 1:01
  God has called them to lift our arms up in time of need and to
• 1:06
  help with some audio stuff. And this is not a one man show
• 1:10
  any longer. It's an honor to have like Minds
• 1:13
  coming together and joining just to be an end time remnant voice.
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  There's so much that they have to offer and it is honestly
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  genuinely an honor to have them stepping up and contributing to
• 1:27
  the MMSI. Hope you enjoyed this micro
• 1:31
  message from Carly. We'll be doing this
• 1:33
  intermittently and also Prince will be reading some scripture
• 1:37
  and giving reflections as time goes on as well.
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  Let's get into this acceptance as an IDOL audio message from
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  Carly. So my circle of trusted friends
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  and family, the people that are most dear to my heart, that I
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  walk with day after day after day, who I'm vulnerable with and
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  whom we share, you know, forthright, candid, intimate
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  conversations. We all go to the same church,
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  and my brother-in-law is the pastor of that church and his
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  wife, my sister-in-law is a pastress if if that's even a
• 2:36
  word. But she's a minister in her own
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  right and and we're we're all there.
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  We are all in the house together learning to do ministry
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  together. Now we all used to go to the
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  church. The church I talk about in part
• 2:50
  four with Rod. We all went there together and
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  and when that whole thing imploded we all kind of went our
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  separate ways. Of course in some ways we're
• 2:59
  we're family a lot of us are are related by marriage.
• 3:03
  But we we weren't going to church together anymore and we
• 3:06
  all it it did scatter the sheep. It really did.
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  And so you know Fast forward and and 12 years later we're all in
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  this church together and we're all learning to be doing
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  ministry together and there's a growing curve there.
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  It's it is a opportunity to really have the Lord search our
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  hearts inside ministry, doing ministry together.
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  And it's been a beautiful and challenging experience.
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  And recently it came to my attention that there were two
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  families that were negatively impacted by something I had
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  said, and they left the church because of me.
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  And I felt so embarrassed by what I had said.
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  And I started questioning God, did you not want me to share
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  that? Did?
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  Am I supposed to be something other than I am?
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  And if you guys have listened to any of my interviews here, you
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  know that what you see is what you get.
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  I'm really just coming with the this is what behind the mask
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  looks like. I'm I'm not about the Christian
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  mask. I'm pretty forthright.
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  So in one instance I had asked this person in in the church we
• 4:25
  are trying to to work out the next stage in a project and I'd
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  ask him where does your business acumen meet your spiritual gifts
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  Like? What does that look like for
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  you? How?
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  Where's the overlap? You know, what is the sweet spot
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  right in there, you know? And he answered the question
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  really well. And and since I asked a
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  vulnerable question, I offered to be vulnerable because to me
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  that seems fair. You know, if somebody does self
• 4:55
  disclosure, I then offer self disclosure because it keeps the
• 5:00
  the playing field level. And so I just, I know I didn't
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  do a good job. In the moment I could feel
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  myself rambling a bit and not being completely concise.
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  But I had I had shared with him that I'm I'm an intercessor, but
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  my my my calling is more over land and gates in the land.
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  It's more for the redemption of territories.
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  And while I do intercede for people, it seems as though for
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  me, the Lord often takes me up above areas over territories and
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  and to set things right. So I shared this with him and to
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  me that seems not outrageous. You know, that's pretty
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  Biblically sound to me, to me. And then another family had been
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  offended by the language I use when I pray.
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  And I can't tell you exactly what that language is, but they
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  ended up being very offended that the pastor would have gone
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  to a Bride ministries advance, you know, conference and
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  confronted the pastor. And we was aggressive and weird,
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  and they left the church as well.
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  And from the time I came into the body of Christ in the
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  church, in the four walls of the church, I was warned that I
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  would not be understood, that I should keep to myself, that I
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  should not tell my story because people wouldn't understand.
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  And let me tell you, when people did start to hear about my
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  story, I was met with prayer meetings against me.
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  Like the witch hunt for the witch I was desperately asking
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  the Lord to deliver me from. Being became a regular
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  occurrence in the church and I I really was.
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  I really felt relegated. I really felt rejected.
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  But but as the Lord would have it I I wanted Jesus more than
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  anything else and and and it hurt but I was like if this is
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  what it is you know OK whatever we're rolling.
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  So anyway I found this out in our in our leadership meeting
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  and it hurt my heart Like it really hurt my heart that I
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  would have just by virtue of being myself offended somebody
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  to the point that they would walk away from the church.
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  And and my my wonderful husband pointed out to me that you know
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  that really they might be blaming you but it has more to
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  do with something that's unresolved inside of them.
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  And and while that that felt right and that sounded right.
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  I couldn't deny the fact that I was a deeply embarrassed.
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  I felt like I don't I don't need to be in the church like I'm
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  cool to be with Jesus in the closet with my close little
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  circle of friends and family for the rest of my life.
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  I don't in fact need any of and I got really mad that night.
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  I came home and I was hot. Mad.
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  I was heated and I was telling Prince and all the things and I
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  was, you know, I was being rather vulgar.
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  OK, Mask off. I did drop some Effenheimer's
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  here and there and I I needed to get it out.
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  It was like I just needed to have emotional diarrhea.
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  If you ever get a stomach ache and you feel like I just need to
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  puke to get this out. It was that.
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  So I did that and and it was rough and the Lord pointed a few
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  things out to me that I think might benefit others to
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  contemplate. One of those things is that when
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  you're working in the Church, when when you are in a position
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  of leadership, you you have to learn to be able to discern the
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  difference between the enemy attacking and God coming for
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  your idols. And it can feel very similar in
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  the moment. Because at first when this came
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  about, I was like, Satan is roar walking around like a roaring
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  lion looking for whom he can devour and he has spotted me.
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  But that wasn't actually what was happening.
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  But it felt very much like that. Because I'm like, man, I'm just
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  being under attack and stuff. But later that night, the Lord
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  pointed out to me, He asked me a question, Carly, why are you at
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  this church? And I was like, well, 'cause you
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  you told me to to come here. You you, you said to be here.
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  And so I'm here. And and he said, well, and what
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  are you supposed to do there? And I said, I don't really know.
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  Apparently I'm not supposed to pray or talk to anybody or share
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  anything about myself. So I, you know, I was being
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  snarky with Jesus, but he's got big, strong shoulders so he
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  could take it. And he said, you know what?
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  You have an idol. You actually idolize being
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  understood and accepted by people in the church.
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  You value that more than you value my word to you.
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  You value that over obeying me. And he was right.
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  Because this isn't the first time in my life that when I have
• 10:35
  felt misunderstood or not accepted, I got really ugly.
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  I I felt really emotionally destabilized.
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  And that is the marker of of protecting a false identity.
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  That's a marker of protecting an idol.
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  And the idol is that of being accepted and understood by other
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  people. And if I can't get that, then
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  God, I might not obey you, you see.
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  And I had to agree with him that he was right because he's he, he
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  was right. And the process that unfolded
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  after that was it wasn't it wasn't a quick easy like, Yep,
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  God, you're right. Here's my idol.
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  All right, I'm going to go make some soup now.
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  It was like my heart was so affected by the truth of this
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  it. And he what he showed me in the
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  best way I can really describe it to you is like if you have a
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  dead tree in your yard, that dead tree representing at the
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  idol and you were to cut it down, you could just throw the
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  top, you know, the tree in the in the chopper and just chop it
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  up, ship it away. But you still have the stomp
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  right and all the roots and God is coming for the roots.
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  Now when he shows you an idol in your heart, when he asks you to
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  repent about something, you are valuing over him.
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  He wants the roots. Now you have a choice.
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  You can ask him to just cut the tree down and keep it pushing.
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  But when you, when you are able to sit with him or contemplate
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  just how deep the truth he's telling you is, he'll go for the
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  roots. And it can be a mourn, really
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  mournful process. But the thing about God is that
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  his love is so. I mean, it guts me because while
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  I have idolized basically myself, right, my desires over
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  him, when he comes to minister to me about that abhorrent
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  thing, he's so loving and tender.
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  He never comes with condemnation.
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  He's never standing there, arms folded, scowling at me, nose in
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  the air. He's always like, I love you so
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  much. Let me take this root.
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  Let me get this other root. Let me set your soil back right.
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  Let me plant some flowers. Oh, I love you.
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  I love you. I love you.
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  What kind of God is this? So for a couple days, I was, I
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  was feeling that uprooting out of my heart. the IT, it affected
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  my soul. Like all these thoughts around
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  all the ways that this idol has negatively impacted my life.
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  They were coming up. There's one piece of the root,
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  another area. This had impacted my
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  relationships. That's another root.
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  And he's pulling it out and he's so tender and he's so loving.
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  But I can't pretend like it isn't a grievous process,
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  because it is. But this is the depth to which
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  his faithfulness goes. He doesn't leave anything.
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  He's so thorough. He's so thorough, and it's his.
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  It's his responsibility to clean up our heart, and it is our
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  responsibility to give him our willingness, our yes, our
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  agreement to open the door. And so as I went through that
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  process, I realized, thanks to the Holy Spirit, that we often
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  separate the ideas of of doing and being.
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  Like I said to him, I don't know what I'm doing here.
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  Like, what do you want me to do? And he said to me, Carly, you
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  have to stop thinking of doing and being as two separate
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  things, because you are there. By virtue of who I am in you,
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  you are doing enough. You are obeying me.
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  My presence is finding an outlet through your being there.
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  Because we carry him, we affect the atmosphere.
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  It's been said so many times that we we should avoid having a
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  religious mindset. It's not a Martha mindset.
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  It's a merry mindset. When you go somewhere, you have
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  an effect on that territory, on people, on the atmosphere, both
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  physical and spiritual, that you just don't understand.
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  I don't understand, but he pointed out to me that because
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  he is in US, greater is he that is in US than he that is in the
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  world. And we're either going to trust
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  him to be who and what is needed in the moments of life, or, you
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  know, we're going to have to repent and and let him speak to
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  our hearts. Ellie, I've been feeling like
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  I'm Luke 1. Gotta make a move.
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  Go in a world. Out of the world that I'm still
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  trying to do. Don't care if they judge me.
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  Father God. Just being vulnerable.
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  I can gain a word to lose my souls.
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  If I would, I lose. You said the path was narrow.
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  You say this was no tightrope. I need time to repeat.
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  So if I die, please let me die slow.
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  Just thankful it ain't done no more.
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  You came and cut the light on. You just want us to step in
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  there so we can get our shine on.
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  I've seen them demons casting out their body.
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  Have my mind, bro. They're trying to kill my flesh.
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  I want to show you what side on because you can't be in love in
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  the world if you want to love Christ said you.
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  Got to keep it on you got that shot shot.
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  Would you rather? Be loved by.
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  Man or loved by Christ said. You got to keep it on.
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  You got the shot. The shot, the Hey, would you
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  rather be in love with the world or in love with Christ?
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  This is Boy Head Brad and thank you for tuning into The
• 16:46
  Millennial Muscle Seat, my favorite podcast.