Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What do narcissists really think about you?

Transcript

What do narcissists really think about you? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people.
• 0:01
  Today we're going to be answering the question, what do
• 0:04
  narcissists really think about you?
• 0:09
  If you new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:10
  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
• 0:12
  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:32
  So boom, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
• 0:34
  So yeah, that's the question of the day, the question of the
• 0:37
  year. What do those pesky pescaroo
• 0:41
  narcissists really think about you?
• 0:45
  What do they think about you? So let me drop it in the comment
• 0:47
  section first. What do you, what do you think
• 0:49
  your narcissistic partner or parent or sister, brother,
• 0:53
  friend, Co worker, boss, whoever it is in your life?
• 0:56
  What do you think the narcissist in your life thinks about you
• 0:59
  seriously? And be open and honest y'all,
• 1:01
  because I feel like that helps you heal, that helps you
• 1:04
  understand be truthful with what you think they think about you.
• 1:08
  I'm going to go out now, I'm going to talk about it.
• 1:10
  But what do you think that they think about you?
• 1:14
  How do they think that you know how, what do you think they
• 1:16
  think about you seriously? It's a, it's a, it's a very deep
• 1:20
  question because it's supposed to make you think deep.
• 1:23
  This question is, is meant to make you think deep about your
• 1:27
  like about your relationship dynamic.
• 1:29
  That's what this question is meant for right here, because so
• 1:32
  many people get caught up in these relationship dynamics in
• 1:34
  these spaces where the narcissistic person in their
• 1:37
  life thinks very negatively of you.
• 1:41
  Let's keep it hot, y'all. It really depends on what they
• 1:44
  think about you, but most of them don't think highly of you
• 1:47
  all the time. I know there's not what just not
• 1:49
  just narcissists do that, but most narcissists think about
• 1:54
  what they can get from you. They're always thinking about
• 1:57
  what they can get from you and how if they can do better than
• 2:01
  you, especially if you're, if you're in a relationship with
• 2:03
  them, they think of like they think they don't always think,
• 2:07
  oh, this is the best decision I've ever made in my life.
• 2:09
  In the beginning they might think that, but as the
• 2:12
  relationship progresses, they tend to think lower and lower
• 2:16
  and lower and lower of you. They tend to think lower of you
• 2:20
  like because in the beginning everything is going well, right,
• 2:24
  everything start most relationships with narcissists
• 2:26
  start off on a high note, right? So they're thinking the world of
• 2:29
  you. They're thinking that you are
• 2:30
  the perfect person for them. They're thinking like, if this
• 2:34
  person, like if this, you know, God made made you for me, They
• 2:39
  are thinking that you are the greatest gift that they could
• 2:42
  ever receive, right, right. But that's not how it always
• 2:46
  goes. Like as the relationship
• 2:48
  progresses, the less they like as you, as you go, as the
• 2:51
  relationship gets longer, the way they think about you goes
• 2:55
  down. They don't think highly of you.
• 2:57
  They don't feel highly of you. It's like that.
• 3:00
  Once they feel like they have you secured, right?
• 3:02
  I feel like they always think high.
• 3:04
  They're they're mostly thinking highly of you until they get you
• 3:07
  locked down. Like, and what I mean locked
• 3:09
  down is there's a baby on the way, y'all have a y'all living
• 3:13
  together, y'all are married, there is y'all you cosign on a
• 3:17
  loan, whatever it is in that situation, whenever they feel
• 3:20
  like they have you locked down, that's when their behaviour
• 3:23
  start to switch up. That's when their behaviour
• 3:26
  start to change. That's when the way they think
• 3:27
  about you starts to starts to switch up.
• 3:30
  They don't think highly of you the entire time.
• 3:33
  And like I said, the more, the more the relationship goes on,
• 3:35
  the longer the relationship goes on, the less they think about
• 3:38
  you, the less, the, the less good they think about you.
• 3:41
  So that's why I'm always telling you, like how they treat you is
• 3:43
  how they feel about you. Literally how they treat you is
• 3:48
  what they think of you. And I know that sucks because
• 3:52
  that's, it's like as the relationship progresses, they
• 3:54
  tend to treat you worse, right? So they're thinking of you in a
• 3:57
  negative way. They think they, they're
• 3:59
  thinking of you in a negative light.
• 4:03
  They don't think highly of you anymore.
• 4:04
  They used to think highly of you.
• 4:05
  So they treated you well, right, But now the fact that they don't
• 4:08
  think highly of you anymore, they don't treat you as good.
• 4:12
  They treat you worse, they treat you badly.
• 4:14
  They don't see you as their equal anymore.
• 4:16
  They used to think that you like I said, they used to think you
• 4:18
  were God's gift. But now like the gift like the
• 4:20
  new shiny toy that they did they get at Christmas, The the the
• 4:24
  luster has worn off of it. The luster has went away.
• 4:28
  I know y'all like the luster has went away label.
• 4:30
  We've given him everything. I've done everything for this
• 4:32
  person. I I've been there for them.
• 4:33
  I've done this for them. Yes, you have, but at the end of
• 4:37
  the day, that does not stop them from thinking less of you like
• 4:41
  it's y'all there's. I'll tell you this right here.
• 4:43
  There's nothing that you can do that will make them think
• 4:47
  ultimately make them think super, extremely highly of you
• 4:50
  anymore. Can you do it sporadically?
• 4:54
  Yes. There's little things you can do
• 4:55
  sporadically, like forgiving them for everything, apologizing
• 4:59
  for do, apologizing for the things that they do to you, not
• 5:04
  holding them accountable, forgiving and forgetting.
• 5:07
  You see what I'm saying? Not bringing up the past, that
• 5:10
  type of stuff. Every single thing that benefits
• 5:12
  them in a great way. Yeah, they'll think highly of
• 5:15
  you for Yes, they will, because they they are you so forgiving.
• 5:19
  You're so empowering. You know, you're doing this.
• 5:21
  You're doing that. That's what happens right there.
• 5:24
  So I said it has way less to do with you and that you can't do
• 5:28
  anything about it. And that's, I think, I think
• 5:29
  that's the most frustrating part lately.
• 5:31
  There's nothing we can do to talk them into treatments
• 5:33
  better, y'all. You can turn a blind eye and
• 5:36
  pretend to not see certain, see them doing certain things, not
• 5:40
  act like certain behaviors bother you.
• 5:42
  And they might think of you in a different way, but it doesn't
• 5:45
  mean they're going to treat you any better for an extended
• 5:46
  period of time. You know, you can turn a blind
• 5:50
  eye to their abuse, to their lies, to their manipulation, to
• 5:53
  their cheating and stuff like that and they might, oh, this,
• 5:55
  this is really going to work out.
• 5:56
  No, it's not y'all. Turning the look, turning a
• 6:00
  blind eye or closing your eyes to certain situations does not
• 6:03
  mean that the situation isn't happening.
• 6:06
  You know, just because you see, because you're not seeing the
• 6:08
  world doesn't mean the world isn't happening around you.
• 6:12
  So this is the point I try to convey to so many people.
• 6:14
  Just because you're not seeing the world doesn't mean that the
• 6:17
  world is not happening. You have to turn a blind eye to
• 6:20
  the abuse and stuff like that to get them and treat you better.
• 6:22
  Yeah, that's wild. That is a wild mindset to have.
• 6:25
  Like I'm going to turn a blind eye just so you so you treat me
• 6:28
  better. No, no, no, I know everybody.
• 6:31
  I know everybody has to do different things to survive.
• 6:33
  And this is not me trying to chastise y'all.
• 6:35
  This is just me telling y'all that there's a better way to
• 6:37
  live. There's better choices that you
• 6:39
  can make. There's better, you know,
• 6:41
  there's there's better people out there for you because let's
• 6:44
  keep it hiding ready. You know, y'all, if anything,
• 6:47
  you know I'm going to keep it hiding ready, You know I'm gonna
• 6:49
  keep it hot. Look, Little Caesar's that I
• 6:51
  keep it hot ready, like a Little Caesar's pizza.
• 6:53
  And that's why I tell people all the time I keep it hydrated like
• 6:56
  a Little Caesar's pizza. That's how things go.
• 6:59
  That really is how things go. Because they don't think very
• 7:02
  highly of you. Like the more you like say it's
• 7:05
  crazy, like in the beginning, the more forgiving you are, the
• 7:08
  more you turn a blind eye. They might think highly of you.
• 7:10
  But sooner or later, y'all, when you don't put up a fight
• 7:13
  anymore, they get bored. Like you're no longer fighting,
• 7:15
  you're no longer doing anything right there, right.
• 7:17
  You know, you're no longer doing anything.
• 7:21
  So they're like, say they, they, they look at you as kind of, I'm
• 7:23
  not going to use what's the operative word I can use today?
• 7:27
  They're not be disrespectful. Well, let's keep it real.
• 7:29
  This is my this is the channel as I talk some of them.
• 7:32
  When you're too forgiving, when you're you're turning a blind
• 7:34
  eye to every single thing, when you're no longer putting up a
• 7:37
  fight, they look at you like you're pathetic.
• 7:39
  And this is the word that I've heard out of other narcissist
• 7:41
  mouth in my in the self aware narcissist group that I'm a part
• 7:44
  of. They say my partner is pathetic.
• 7:46
  They don't hold me accountable. They don't put up a fight
• 7:48
  anymore. It's boring.
• 7:49
  They get bored with you. They think you're boring now
• 7:52
  because you're no longer putting up a fight to the stuff that
• 7:54
  they do and that's how it likes it.
• 7:57
  And that can be the result of you just turning a blind eye to
• 8:00
  the relationship will work out. Or that can be the result of you
• 8:03
  grey rocking them. Because grey rocking does mean
• 8:05
  you become boring to them and you no longer give them the
• 8:08
  emotional reaction. You see, they look at you as
• 8:11
  boring and sometimes you grey rock people enough.
• 8:14
  They might leave you alone, you know, they might leave you be.
• 8:17
  They might bring up with you because you're boring.
• 8:19
  They can't, they can't get any more supply from you.
• 8:21
  They might think that you are born in that, in that space
• 8:24
  right there. So sometimes you have to become
• 8:26
  boring like a rock in order to get them to leave you the hell
• 8:28
  alone. But is that the way you will
• 8:30
  actually want to have to live your life, you know, for an
• 8:32
  extended period of time? Grey rocking, removing the
• 8:35
  emotional reactions from most, most emotional reactions from
• 8:38
  the relationship. It's a short term technique to
• 8:41
  help protect you. It's not supposed to be 2-3
• 8:43
  years of grey rocking. That'll yeah, that'll drive you
• 8:45
  crazy. Grey rocking and just becoming
• 8:48
  boring. Yes or no answers.
• 8:49
  Yeah, that's that's cool. Yes, that's that's fine.
• 8:53
  That will drive you literally crazy.
• 8:55
  That can make you lose your mind in a lot of these relationship
• 8:58
  spaces. So I just tell you all this
• 9:00
  right here, like how what they think of you is how they treat
• 9:04
  you. If they think you are going to
• 9:06
  leave them and they don't and they're not ready for you to
• 9:09
  leave, they might start treating you better.
• 9:11
  You see, they think you're going to leave and they're not ready
• 9:15
  for you to leave. They don't want to see you.
• 9:16
  Anybody else, they might mess around and flip the script and
• 9:20
  start treating you better out of nowhere because they think
• 9:24
  highly of you because they they want you to feel, they want you
• 9:26
  to feel good about yourself so you don't leave them.
• 9:29
  That's the confusing nature of it right there.
• 9:32
  That's what I'm telling y'all. If you make a decision to leave
• 9:34
  this person and all of a sudden out of nowhere, they turn their
• 9:37
  good behaviors back on. They think that you're going to
• 9:40
  leave them. They feel the disconnect
• 9:42
  happening. So that's why I was just
• 9:44
  telling, I'm just telling y'all, you have, you have to remain
• 9:46
  strong and steadfast in your on your healing journey because
• 9:52
  that's the main thing you want to do.
• 9:53
  You want to, you want to heal, you want to be able to move
• 9:55
  forward. Because especially like if you
• 9:58
  take your power back, they might think that you're too strong.
• 10:01
  If you start taking your power back in the relationship and
• 10:03
  trying to hold them accountable and pushing back on the stuff
• 10:06
  that they do and not letting, not letting things go so easily
• 10:10
  and not let not being a pushover, they might think that
• 10:12
  you're too strongly, like they're not getting the same
• 10:15
  type of supply from you. They might leave you then, but
• 10:18
  you have to always be careful y'all in these relationship
• 10:20
  spaces because you know, you know how people you, you, you
• 10:25
  never know how people are going to react to when you start
• 10:27
  standing up for yourself, when you start pushing back on them,
• 10:30
  because when you start pushing back on them, a lot of
• 10:33
  narcissistic people take that as disrespect.
• 10:35
  They take that as they, it hits their ego, you know, and they,
• 10:39
  they'll, some of them might try to hurt you or harm you
• 10:41
  physically because they can't do anything to you emotionally
• 10:43
  anymore because you're fighting back.
• 10:45
  So they might, they might, you know, shift to the physical
• 10:47
  stuff. So they might actually think
• 10:49
  that you're too strong for them. So they try to break you down.
• 10:52
  They think you're too good for them.
• 10:53
  So that look, they think that you're too good for them to try
• 10:56
  to treat you worth. They try to pull you down.
• 10:58
  They try to devalue you. They think that you can do
• 11:01
  better than them. So they try to strip you of
• 11:03
  yourself worth and yourself love.
• 11:06
  And then when they think that they can do better than you,
• 11:08
  they discard you. But just because they discard
• 11:11
  you does not mean that they will let you go.
• 11:13
  That's the fact that I have to communicate to people.
• 11:15
  Just because they think that they can find somebody else
• 11:17
  better does not mean that they will fully let you go.
• 11:20
  I thought that people all the time who that narcissistic ex is
• 11:23
  in a whole nother relationship has a damn family with somebody
• 11:25
  else and they're still bothering them.
• 11:28
  It's crazy how that works out sometimes.
• 11:30
  It is absolutely insane how that works sometimes, y'all?
• 11:33
  But as I always know, I got to say, stay tuned for more y'all
• 11:37
  meeting like and subscribe to the channel if you haven't
• 11:38
  already. Join my support groups.
• 11:40
  Take us to the support groups. Y'all.
• 11:41
  We, the support groups are live. We are live in the support
• 11:44
  groups. There's like 400 posts in there.
• 11:46
  We're active in the support groups.
• 11:47
  It's called the mental healers. You can go to
• 11:50
  courses.mentalillness.net to check out my support groups and
• 11:54
  my courses and whatnot and I will see you later.
• 11:57
  Mental illness is out. Peace.
• 11:59
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 12:01
  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 12:04
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:06
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
• 12:08
  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
• 12:11
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:13
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 12:16
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 12:17
  I will see you in the next video.
• 12:19
  Peace.