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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Personal Blueprint 6.17.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  So little late the end of your book and the final theme was is
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  that when you talk about a person's development, no two
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  people develop the same. No two people grow the same way.
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  I know the two people's final picture was supposed to be the
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  same. You state every one of us
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  supposed to have a different sort of channel and track toward
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  our development and you're not looking at the new life saying
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  on and if any season and say, I want to be like so and so.
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  No, you are a learned SERM qualities with so and so, but
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  you do not want to be like so and so Literally, you want to be
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  like yourself because you have your own track and pathway to
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  growth. And he says, even though I'm
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  giving you all these steps of greatness and how a person can
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  climb layer by layer, level by level to make themselves as they
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  want to become, want us to realize that your form of
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  development will never look the same as that person's.
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  And why is it the case? Mainly it's the case because you
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  have a whole different picture and they the different
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  background, different family, different business, different
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  mental makeup, different health makeup, different era that
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  you're part of all these different things played to your
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  very specific picture. If you realize you have an
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  opinion and your opinion, you know, Kyle Gold fits well with
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  your mind, you're like it. It kind of this is how you
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  approach things always. Whether you realize they're not
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  every person is that way, they're they respond to, you
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  know, as they always be, that's tone or that style.
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  That's because they have that makeup and their growth is the
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  exact same way. That's what it's telling.
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  So no person is going to expect to be the exact same.
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  So even though I have a book that gives you stages of growth,
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  I do not have the book that's going to give you literally what
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  you're going to become. Exactly because it's going to
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  play out, yeah. For example, let's take the
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  topic of honesty. So honesty for a person that's
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  involved in one kind of business, it's very different
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  than for a person who's retired, one of retired, his challenge of
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  honesty is only words related maybe.
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  And someone who's involved in business day in day out and has
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  been doing business a little bit shaky, then his challenge of
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  honesty is much tougher. And no one's saying cat is a
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  business, but they're saying be careful and every time there's a
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  red flag there's something that's a little you know that
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  that's a there's a approach that allows you to sketch you a
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  little bit. You have to be extra careful so
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  that guy is challenged and why not stand there was develop
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  development in honesty is different.
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  All said and done very positively downpours in honesty
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  might be stronger than that retiree because Alvarez went out
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  to fight the fight and I had to come up with ways to remain
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  honest and on and dishonest world.
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  He became something. Take another example, patience,
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  right? Patience with someone who, let's
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  say normal and has children in the house, with someone who, you
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  know, even single is one kind of patience.
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  Someone who's married, someone has kids in the house, someone
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  has family, has to wait for, someone who has different
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  things. His patience, his challenge with
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  patience is much harder. And again, his development of
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  that trait will be much stronger.
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  It's a different type. Take another example, humility,
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  someone with a low key person to start because that's their place
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  in this community or in this world.
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  Then for them, you know, it is also a challenge.
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  Every person has to challenge your Moody puts a whole
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  different animal than someone who's a prominent person, a
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  famous person who you know was dealing with people putting him
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  down constantly because he should be something he's not
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  being something about that stuff.
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  It's all different challenge the humility and therefore a whole
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  different development. You name it, every topic has its
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  application depending on the person, and the person has to
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  realize my development will only be my development.
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  It's not going to be my brothers, it's not going to be
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  my child's, it's not going to be my wife's, it's not going to be
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  my friends. It's going to be very
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  specifically my track of life. And over time, you start to feel
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  as things fall into place, start to feel like I am doing my own
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  thing. I am functioning my own way and
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  I have my own means of how to succeed as a Jewish person.
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  That's your goal. You have to be on person.
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  You have to be on person. No one minds 100% right Quinevu
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  Shavelle the condo. Every person is the same,
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  however but the situations and the people you're around in
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  lives that you're living, Every Jew is made-up with the exact
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  same. You're born to be great.
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  It goes to be great and he goes to get through life.
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  All fact, but your life and my life are different.
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  Your greenness and my greenness are different and therefore your
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  development will therefore be different.
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  What does it do for you? It does a couple of things.
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  One, it makes you never look at the other person and say I care
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  to be like him. I don't 'cause you don't mean
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  not him. Two, it makes you understand
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  that your job is to find your track.
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  Your job is to find or flows for you.
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  Which means every person has to figure out, I think has to
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  figure out a wiring, a mechanism that works for his basic layers
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  means his marriage. He has to have.
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  You can't figure out any marriage.
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  But if you have to have a system that works me in marriage, which
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  means when do I need to input patients?
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  When do I need to input calm? When do I need to input extra
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  love? When do I need to input more
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  understanding all right, more validation.
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  When do I need to walk away and not be upset?
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  There's a whole system in place and everyone's got their own
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  animal and in any person tells another person how to deal with
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  their wife or how to deal with the husband, what they're
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  telling you is that they don't understand marriage because it's
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  every individual's own animal. And you can look at someone and
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  say why are they being that way? Why are they letting dance or
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  all that stuff? That's because you don't
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  understand what's going on and maybe they are being a push over
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  or maybe they are being over or maybe they are being too tough
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  on this house for me. They can be judging from afar
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  and be right, but very possibly we're wrong because there's
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  their structure and they have to figure out a way to get the
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  mechanism. So The thing is you have to
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  attract and because you have your track, you need to have
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  your systems in place. Same thing is true with your
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  mental makeup, right? Everyone's got things that get
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  them nervous. Fine.
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  Now, if they're going to come off in life, you have to figure
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  out a way how to handle those things because they're going to
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  be there no matter what they're going to be there.
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  And if you, unless you figure out a system to handle it, it'll
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  be the go to conversation. You're Mike constantly and you'd
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  be constantly upsetting yourself.
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  Why am I allowing the same people to do this to me for year
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  after year after year? Not to stop because they're
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  there because you take them away.
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  Someone else will be there. It's rally because you didn't
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  figure out a way. And a job as a developing Jew is
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  find a system, find the mechanism.
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  That means you're going to put in more beat at home when it
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  comes to them. That means you're going to put
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  in more ignoring when it comes to them.
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  More means are just saying, you know, smile and wave and then
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  move on. You figure it out, but you need
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  a system, know a system and we're hitting, we're running
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  into a lot of problems. A system which means I stop, I
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  think I take a walk, I come for a method, I say how to handle
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  that. You get that figured out once
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  the people in your life and you'll have that apply and you
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  have to continue to develop it. Provo you how do you apply and
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  you know come into place constantly.
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  You know how to run your business.
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  You know how to run, you hold your personal finances.
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  You know what to do with certain bills.
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  You have money allocated for certain spots.
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  The same thing should be true like your mind.
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  You need to know how to run your mind and you do how to deal with
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  those who come at you once a month, once a few months, once a
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  day, whatever it may be. Sometimes something will come on
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  you and. It's like.
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  You weren't expecting if it came and then you say, come on.
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  It's like, what do I do now, you know?
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  Say if it's out of the blue, it's out of the blue.
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  First of all. If that's the case, it won't be
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  that often, but if it's the same out of the blue, which is the
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  same kind of out of the blue, and maybe in order to figure
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  them out and, and you might, you might have to figure yourself
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  out. Which means I need a trigger
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  response. I didn't mean to handle, but
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  somewhat I, I act the nice guy act and then they come out of me
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  and take advantage. And it happens to me once in a
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  few weeks. OK, then you're nice guy.
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  This has to be addressed in a developed way, not to become a
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  mean person, but to become more responsible person.
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  Maybe eventually this is all. If someone gives us something
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  out of the blue here and there, that's life and that's tests.
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  A Rama Vino, for example, was the greatest man of tests in our
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  history. The reason his tests are so
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  challenging is because they were all out of the blue.
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  They didn't fit and that they were not consistent with his
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  life. But if they were consistent, if
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  they were all the same thing, wouldn't have been called tests,
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  because it would have been. You should have figured that
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  out, right? But that's not what they were.
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  They were out of the blue. They were caution secure to the
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  last Test. They didn't fit the same mold
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  the last Test. And because of that, you need to
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  come up with a new wiring each time.
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  For most of us general function of our life.
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  If you look back and you look at your ears, you notice problems
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  with the same problem with a different custom.
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  Maybe it's a different person, maybe it's a different lying,
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  maybe it's a different way of bringing it out, but it's the
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  same overall, probably relative. I was saying in general, but
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  same overall problem, a different constant.
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  That's that same family member, It's that same boss, same play,
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  even sometimes same sibling, same friend.
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  And these are good people in your life.
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  It's not that they're bad people, but they have a way.
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  I mean, you will be there for them in a second.
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  You think they will be there for you in a second.
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  It's all true. But they have a way of saying
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  that theme that puts you back and you have to figure out a way
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  to work it. You don't work it, you're not
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  going to. Life will be for a person
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  constant disruption and getting upset and at the same time for
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  no reason because I I, I it's the same person and and you
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  don't do that. The terrible trouble people.
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  You just need that the way they say things and when they say
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  things and how they say things just set you off.
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  If that's the case, I need a system, very possibly be the
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  horn part of my system. Very possible it's ignoring them
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  to a degree or ignoring their comments or seeing that they,
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  you know, if you figure a way to say yourself, listen, they said
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  this before, nothing can of it. They say anything strong.
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  That's the way they are. They're the same way with their
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  own family. All those approaches are ways to
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  figure out how to move on and to figure that out.
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  You can grow, develop and produce.
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  If not, then it's constant of it's constant the derailment and
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  I need to get back on the train and background and back
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  function. Both are fine. 1 is a much more
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  comfortable life and other one is not.
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  That's overall deep and it takes work.
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  There's a lot of work, but I think this born is key, which is
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  you look over the course of your life, your ear now life keeps
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  changing. You look over the course of your
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  time, you realize it's either the same person literally or the
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  same type of comet literally, or the same type person.
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  But it's something therefore that if I just address some
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  common denominator, me to address the person, I just type
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  a comment and I have my life under control.
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  If I don't, then I'm going to have to keep bringing it back.
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  That's to see.