Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Leaving The Good Guy, Dating In Your 30s & Creating A Life On Your Terms ft. Alessia Sculpt

Transcript

Leaving The Good Guy, Dating In Your 30s & Creating A Life On Your Terms ft. Alessia Sculpt · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Beyond Limits, the podcast designed to unlock your highest potential with powerful strategies, energetic frequencies, and mindset shifts to create a limitless life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode dives deep into what it really takes to build a life and business beyond the ordinary standard.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Expect unfiltered conversations, tangible takeaways, and mind-blowing insights to shift your reality.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear from Trailblazers who have shattered ceilings and know what it means to live beyond limits.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And they're here to share their expertise with you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to redefine what's possible when you go all in.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: More than a podcast, this is your gateway to building a limitless life and business.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Tune into the Beyond Limits podcast and step into all that is possible.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everyone.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Beyond Limits show.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I am very excited because we have a special guest with you today, and she is a true example of living beyond limits.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome to the show.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Introduce yourself.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Alessia, Alessia Sculpt on Social, but my real last name is Skazillo.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's always shocked by that.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really happy to be here.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've had an interesting journey.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm now a wellness lifestyle fashion content creator, but I did not start out in this space or any creative space at all.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: I actually worked in finance for almost 10 years.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: And even before that, my mom actually passed away when I was 20 years old.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure if you knew that.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I shared in my content sometimes.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so what happened was she passed away.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: It was like I didn't really know it was coming.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was, I was, you know, entering adulthood, but still pretty young.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I really dove into my life and my work.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: I had just met my now ex.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: We were starting to date.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was like starting my career, and I really dove into all of that.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like instead of processing the grief of losing my mom.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what happened was as I progressed in my marriage and in my career, my finance career, and all these things, years later, I started to realize that whoa, like I've just been putting one foot in front of the other.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if this is actually what I want to do or who I want to be.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so about six years ago now, I started teaching fitness on the side of my finance career just for fun.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I loved it so much and really wanted to make a business out of it.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I started my own online fitness platform and then started sharing content on social to support that.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And as I was sharing on social, what really connected with people was my experience and my life.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started sharing more and more and more of that.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And suddenly, like my creator life became the leading thing.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: I ended up leaving my full-time finance job after two years of like doing both.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been a full-time creator in this space for the last like four, five years or so.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then kind of around the same time, or a few years after I left my finance job, I, my ex and I, we had been married.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: We were together for 12 years, we split as well.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I feel like I went through this really like transformational late 20s, early 30s journey.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't know if you're like into astrology at all, but like it was very much in my Saturn return.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, hit that predictably, like turned my whole life upside down.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and now I'm living this life that I really truly love.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel so happy in my career as a creator, so many amazing opportunities in my personal life.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: I have a boyfriend we've been dating a year and a half, and it feels so aligned.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I just feel like I'm living, I mean, as you would say, beyond limits.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I created this life for myself that I feel so happy and joyful to live.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I literally I love everything of what you said.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so much I want to dive in there with you, so many of the different topics.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think I want to talk about your relationship first because one of the things, like, you know, I followed you for a while, but it was the reel you posted, I think, I think it was either just you or you with your therapist, talking about your mushroom journey and how that's when you really realized that you would be okay without your ex.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, there is no way the exact same thing happened to me.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I had like a long-term relationship, almost eight years, engaged, like to be married, was supposed to be married that summer.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that February, I had my first mushroom journey, and I realized, you know, I would be okay leaving him.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like that this relationship wasn't aligned.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And from what I've seen in your content, it was very similar.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like we were partners doing life together, we were best friends, but it it wasn't that type, like it was that type of relationship, like the best friends living together, doing life.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing wrong, but it just wasn't for me and wasn't aligned.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: But there was so much like fear, like this was my relationship I've had for so long, and we're getting married, and this was the plan and the courage to leave that.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, there's no way she exactly was period.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: She did the mushrooms, she saw she'd be okay.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I know that feeling of doing the mushrooms and seeing you're gonna be safe, you'll be okay.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: You'll both be okay.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I was a lot of like, well, he'll also be okay.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, this girl gets it.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So can we dive into kind of like that moment?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel for a lot of women too, maybe they're in relationships where it's not necessarily bad.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And this was something that, at least for me, there was nothing quote unquote like really bad or really wrong.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's no like kind of like abuse or cheating or anything like that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It just wasn't quite right.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And like there's maybe you can describe it better, but how was that for you in terms of having like the courage, or maybe you ripped off the band-aid and you didn't have any fear?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what was that like in terms of like, all right, you realize this, building up to this, and giving yourself permission to really end that relationship to move on and to go your separate ways?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I had so much fear, like I was terrified.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: We, as I said, we were together 12 years married for four.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I spent a third of my life with him and my entire adult life with him.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a lot of like underlying um fear of loss, fear of abandonment triggers or schemas, as my therapist would call them, which means like because I've been through so much loss in my life, my mom and like about five other people close to me, um, I have an exaggerated sense of this fear that I'm not gonna be okay without this person.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: So that it wasn't just like fear, it was like really amplified for me.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like fear of being alone, fear of being without this person as like the one who like had been with me for so long and knew me so well, fear of not meeting someone new, like all these fears were really extreme and fear of like being with myself and that I wasn't gonna be able to handle that being with myself.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I thought about the end of our relationship for an entire year before making that choice.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And there were a few things that I did that helped me get to a place of I'm gonna be okay no matter what.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: And one was therapy.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So my therapist, I did like intensive therapy by myself, like solo therapy, but also group divorce therapy.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Not one round, but two rounds.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like I was like really in the thick of it.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: And through all that therapy, I really learned that um I love my like I'm never by myself.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always with myself.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: And like I love hanging out with me.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: So why would I not be okay being just me, myself, and I once we're no longer together?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a big um thing kind of going through therapy that I realized.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then with the mushroom ceremonies, I did several mushroom ceremonies.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: I did probably like five or six before, or maybe four or five before the split.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I had gone into the mushroom ceremonies seeking answers about my relationship.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, like, do I stay or do I go?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was always like, do I stay, do I go, do I stay, do I go?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: And what ended up happening in the mushroom ceremonies, they give you what you need, not what you want.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so what I actually needed was to heal my exaggerated fear of loss and abandonment.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so, in one particular mushroom ceremony that was the most intense, I spent the entire night with my mom, who I lost at 20 years old.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And we were like side by side, holding hands, and she was like, like, we forgave each other.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, it's okay, like you're gonna be okay.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and she was like, you know, I'm sorry for how I didn't show up for our relationship when I was around.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, you know, I'm sorry for how I showed up.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was a teenager, so I can't really blame myself.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like teen when she was sick, and then she died like when I was 20.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like I, you're still young, like you're in your own life, you know?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and and I saw her and I saw several of the other people that I have lost in my life as well.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: And seeing everyone okay, kind of like in this other galaxy, other world of life, made me realize like it's I don't have to be afraid to lose someone or something.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's okay.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm gonna be okay, they're okay, it's all okay.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so no matter what I do in my relationship, I'm gonna be okay.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was, when I came to a place of acceptance in that, I was able to make the choice that was clear that I needed to make.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like the fear was gone, and I was like, oh, like I know I don't want to be with this person.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I've spent a year thinking about it.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: But what was holding me back was that fear.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think when people are really scared, they jump to like holding on tighter or replacing maybe that person with another person or whatever it is.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like if you actually go to the deeper place of healing, what the real triggers are, you can move through it so with so much more ease and without grasping at anything else that's around it.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like once you saw that you'd be okay no matter what, any kind of pressure or fear or like making the quote unquote wrong decision went out the window because whether you stay or go, like you'd be good, and that almost allowed the pressure to come off.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you saw clearly that, like, oh yeah, okay, this relationship is no longer for me.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: And what I realized is there's no right or wrong decision.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: I thought for so long that the right decision was to stay and the wrong one was to leave because we had a life together and friends together and a house together and all these things.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, oh, I it I should want to stay.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I kept telling myself, I should want to stay, but I actually want to leave.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: So leaving felt like the wrong decision, but there's no right and wrong.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's the decision you make and what you decide to do with it.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And now that I like that I'm in the life that I'm in now, like I couldn't even imagine I was still in that old life.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: And for the record, both of us are so much happier.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't spoken to him in a while now, but I do know through mutual friends, he's engaged and he's happy.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, great, oh my gosh, like great.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I always say, like, we shouldn't feel guilty for leaving someone, especially the quote good guy, because they like by letting them go, you are actually giving them the opportunity to live the life that they're destined for and to have the happiness that is meant for them with the person who's gonna adore them as opposed to you, who are just like there because you're scared to leave.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you want to be in a relationship because you actually want to be in a relationship, not because you're scared to not be in the relationship.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I love like I'm just nodding so much because I'm like, yes, and that was something that also like really helped me.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I was also doing it for them.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this wasn't like a selfish thing for me to leave.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, it's actually best for them as well because they deserve more, or they deserve like someone who can love them or the type of relationship that you know we both can have separately that I wouldn't be able to even provide, even if I wanted to, just because it's it's not aligned.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for you, so many was overlap with the house and with the friends and everything like that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that transition, like that for me sounds like it major, like you have mutual friends.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: How is that like, did you basically find a new friend group?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how is that like, do you feel like people were like divided?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like to me, that sounds like very there's so much more like in so intertwined.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: How did how did you navigate that?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that one of the fears I didn't mention earlier that I'll mention now is the fear of like, where am I gonna go?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: What am I gonna do?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Who are the people that I'm gonna lose, like the logistical fears.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: And in my opinion, those are figure outable.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's what I always say.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you're worried about where we're gonna live or what your friends are gonna say or what who you who you're gonna be friends with in the future, those things are all figure outable.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: You cannot say in a relationship because you're worried about the logistics, and so in terms of our living situation, I left right after we split, but um, and he stayed in the house.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: But then as we went through the process, I ended up buying him out of his half of the house and I moved moved back in, sort of thing.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: So that, and I I say that not because like I want to talk about, you know, the logistics of our house, but like I say that in like that was like a huge worry of mine of like what are we gonna do?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: And like looking back now is like so not that relevant, you know.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want people to hear that with friends, it was hard.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like we have mutual friends that I'm not as close with anymore, and it's sad.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but what has happened is space has been created in my life for new friendships or for the blossoming of friendships that were already kind of there, but then now there's more space for those people.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like I have deeper and more meaningful friendships now than I did before because my life has opened up so much.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, like any of that space that was created by mutual friends that kind of went distance has now blossomed either with current ones or new ones have come in to kind of like fill that space.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think like I've leaned it, it has created space for friends that I've been able to lean on more, not just like social friends, like mutual social couple friends.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like more like of my like sisters, you know?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you left the relationship and then you went to dating, which I don't know for you, but for me, I was like, dating when you've been in a lot, like when I there was no hinge or bumble or any of that before, and I'm sure it was 12 years ago, not for you.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: How was that for you, like going into like dating?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were, I think, 31, 32.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, how was your whole experience going into dating for the first time in 12 years?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're in a beautiful relationship and everything like that.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: So it was very interesting.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: I had a one solid year of dating.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and when we split, my ex and I split, I dove into dating, like got on all the apps.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like so curious to know what was out there, and I really wanted to have fun.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was just like, let's can I swear on this podcast?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like, let's fuck it up and like go out and like who's who knows?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we'll see what happens.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I did, I had a great time, but I was not attracting like super quality people because I that wasn't the energy I was putting out.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't care.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was just like down for the like fun of it.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: I like moved to Miami for a couple months at this time because again, I couldn't live in the house.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, well, if I can't live in my house and I have to rent somewhere, I might as well go to Miami.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Go to Miami and rent somewhere, you know?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I was dating in Miami where it's just like a different type of man, and it was very fun, but it was not super quality.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then uh I actually met someone that again, I met them when I was pretty vulnerable and I didn't see a lot of the signs and flags of this person.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: They ended up uh, we ended up, you know, kind of dating loosely for a few months, and they were not a great person, really toxic, really narcissistic, really all like all the signs that like, you know, you get served on on social like signs of a narcissist or like borderline personality disorder.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I could look back and read, and it's like check, check, check, check, check, check, check.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: But I was so vulnerable at that time and I was having so much fun that I wasn't thinking about the seriousness of it and how this person might, I was very naive, you know, how someone who wanted to like not treat me well or take advantage of me or whatever could get in there.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't thinking that, right?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was a very interesting relationship or situation, and um, it was like a short relationship, but what's interesting is it actually gave me all the dating lessons I possibly needed to learn in one person.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel now I can relate to the women in my community who are struggling with dating because I'm like, ooh, I learn every single thing, I know how these how these women are feeling.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's almost like it had to happen so that I could have like this experience to like speak on.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, that blew up.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: I when we were in Europe and I like got myself out, blocked, deleted, got myself out of that.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: After that, I was like, all right, well, the next time I'm dating, I've got to take it more seriously and I've gotta be more intentional about it.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I approached it completely different that second time going on the apps.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And the first person that I went on a date with from that round is my now boyfriend.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like being really intentional with the time and energy that I spend on the apps, making my profile really descriptive and have so much depth so that men can see who I really am.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: And if that scares them, goodbye.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Seeking on the apps men who are interesting and also descriptive and show depth, letting the man show you or letting them show you who they are, not like rushing or assuming certain things, moving slow.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like there were all these things that I did that was like very clearly different than the first round and much more of a success.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you approached it completely differently.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: So what the result you got at the end was obviously gonna be different.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: What was I I want to get a little fun question?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: What was it about his profile?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you remember if there was one thing that stood out to you from when you saw it that was like, oh, that intrigues me?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yes, he seemed through his profile very open to life and very adventurous.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: And my ex that was the biggest thing coming out of that relationship, I was like, I want someone open like me.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: My ex was very close to life, very much like get up, work, do the gym, do the thing with his friends, go to bed, not open to opportunities, changing careers or cities, or just like uh maybe trying a different hobby or going to a new place, like uh, you know, one week, let's go hike, let's go hiking or to here or to you know, it was just very like in his routine.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oddly enough, he took up a very out there new hobby after we split, but that's like the breakup stuff, I think.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but anyways, in our relationship, very close.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: So in my boyfriend now boyfriend's profile and noticed he was very open and adventurous.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: So there was like commentary and pictures of like travel and biking and um like music, jazz shows and wine thing, and like it was just like a motorcycle, like it was all these things that were like, oh, this person is like really open to life.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: And he said a lot, like he didn't have one-liners like yeah, like, oh, you know, I'll pay for the first round of drinks if you order margaritas.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like it wasn't like that kind of profile, which I find so many men have that.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was like a real person, and he was very cute and very tall.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: So that's like, you know, he's six five.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, oh, that's that'll work for me.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think women need to, from what I'm understanding from you, when you actually look at their profile, you can tell a lot about them if you're like noticing for the right things.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, you notice all of these things, you'll be able to kind of like gauge a lot about who they are in terms of like the depth they put into it, how they communicate with you, yeah, you know, what types of things they do, and making sure that really aligns with the standards you have or the values you have and what you're actually looking for in a partner versus just going into it willy-nilly and kind of throwing that all out the window.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think for men specifically, they not looking so much at how hot they are in their pictures.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's like a minimum standard.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, fine.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: But men are often not taking great pictures, and so they're much cuter in person.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: So if their this if their description is very up your alley and interesting and cool and whatever, but their pictures are like, eh, I would give them a first date.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or I would actually, well, what I would do, this is my big piece of advice that I always tell everyone.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's also part of dating intentionally, is I would have a phone call or a FaceTime with them.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you said that because I'm like, who how are we going on?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: I I did the same thing.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: How are you going on dates with people we haven't had like a phone call or FaceTime?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like in order for me to get dressed up and see you in person, you need to make it through like the the rounds of like filtering a phone call or like a FaceTime in order to go out.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 100%.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: My therapist gave me that advice, and I was like, Are you fucking crazy?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's so weird.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, No, I promise my therapist is amazing.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: She's the goat.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, No, because she was single at the time too.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, I would never go.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: On a date without a FaceTime or a phone call, just trust me, just try it.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I tried it a couple times and I was like, oh, this makes so much sense.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why would I waste a whole night on someone that I don't even know is remotely interesting.
• 22:11
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because in the first round of dating, I had a lot of first dates that never went anywhere with guys that seemed cute on the apps and then were not at all.
• 22:18
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you said that.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: So now you're in this beautiful relationship.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like you're you're still living beyond limits because you're also talking about, you know, you are you're 33, right?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like me.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you talk about not the pressure to get married right away or to like have kids.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's so important, especially as women we come into our mid-30s.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, all right, get married, you got to have a baby.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the time is ticking, and there's also so much fear around freezing eggs and stuff like that that we see on social media.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love for you to speak about your perspective on that and how you basically don't subscribe to all of that.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think there's any rush.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I am in a happy, healthy, loving relationship.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean it's always perfect.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're always working through things, especially like right now, we're actually working through and communicating through some things, and there's some sticky points.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I also, I am very like, I'm always thinking about like what's the messaging I want to, you know, put across on social.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: And right now I'm having this moment of like how to articulate that like you can meet the person that is 100% for you, and there can still be sticky points.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not always easy.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're two 30-something year old, fully formed humans bringing your lives together.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: There's stuff to be worked through.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean it's wrong.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: That means like that's okay.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's a difference between like effort hard and wrong hard.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Effort hard is important.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Communication is important.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wrong hard is not the right fit for you, you know?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we are so happy, great place in a relationship in our relationship, and we are not rushing into these next milestones.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think in general, for me, having been married, I'm not so fussed on getting engaged and getting married.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: He would like to get married, and I now want to be married to him.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't want to get married in general, but like I want to be married to him.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we will do that at some point.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I think both of us are more focused on building our family and having kids and at the same time not rushing into that at all.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like there's this sense, especially, like we know that that's like our longer term goal, but we're like, we don't need to do that immediately now.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like there's this sense, especially in Toronto, because Toronto's very insular.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Are you from Toronto?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Originally now I live outside the city, but Okay, but like, okay, so but I'm like Canada, honestly, if I'm honest, Canada.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's very different.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: I've lived in New York for a little bit, I've lived in Miami a little bit, it's and I've been to LA a bunch.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's very different where in Toronto and in Canada, it's a very insular place.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: People are born here, they're raised here, they meet people, they have a family, they like do the thing, and then they like live the rest of their lives here.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you go to New York, like so true.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, a 33-year-old in Toronto for some reason seems old.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: A 33-year-old in New York or Miami is like, you are young.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like it, I had to spend some time, particularly in Miami recently, to really fully understand that there's like this pressure to like do all the things that is a self-imposed pressure that's like not helping your life.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how is it helping to know that your your biological clock is ticking?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, like when you want to have kids, then it'll happen.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like it'll have and maybe that's not the exact way that you want.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it'll be like it won't happen, you know, quote, naturally, maybe it'll be IUI, maybe it'll be IVF, maybe it'll be adoption, but like the universe will give you what you want in the way that is destined for you.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, why are we all collectively rushing toward this timeline, potentially like having kids with people who are not the right fit for us, just to like do the thing and check the box, you know?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so my boyfriend and I are both like, yeah, we want this, but like, let's enjoy.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: We we only met a year and a half ago.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's not that long.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: Let's enjoy our lives and it'll happen how it's supposed to.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, it'll happen for us naturally.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: If not, we'll do the things that we need to do to have kids when we want to.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're you'll never get that time back.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, kids change things profoundly.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: So once you have kids, like you can't go back to like when you're you don't have kids.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: You might as well enjoy this time.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I love what you said also about environment, because who you surround yourself with and like what you're normalizing by either location that you are or even like the friends that you have, right?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you're surrounded by people who are all married with two or three kids and you're the one maybe single and don't have kids, well, then you're gonna feel probably a lot more pressure because people are like, When are you getting married?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Have you found someone yet?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, blah, blah, blah, kids.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so I love that you talk about even just changing your environment when you go places like Miami or New York.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: What you're surrounding yourself with can also relieve a lot of that pressure.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I think this is also an invitation, whether it's your physical location, the people you're surrounding yourself with, like that pressure can sometimes just be what you're surrounding yourself with.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if you open yourself up to different locations, different people, different things, they don't necessarily have the same pressure.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would never feel that kind of pressure.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, yeah, tons of time.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: But for someone like you said, it's very you live in the same place, you get married, then you have kids, and you go to work, like they're they're living in kind of like a different reality.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I host a lot of events and I always encourage people making friends at those events because it's like people who are like-minded are coming to these things and they're, you know, maybe they've just moved to the city, they don't have friends, or they want to get out obviously of their comfort zone and try something new and meet new people.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's important to like put yourself out there doing the things that you love to do, and you'll meet like-minded people who love doing those things as well.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: That goes for friendships, that goes for dating as well.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, if you want to meet an active, outdoorsy guy, like you better start biking.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I mean?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think like putting yourself in those environments to meet the people that you are hoping to surround yourself with is really um important.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I had a thought, it just escaped me about this.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if I remember, I'll mention it.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of putting yourself out there, I kind of want to dive into a bit like your your work and your content creation and all of that.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: When we speak of putting yourself out there, that's like to me, you've really put yourself out there in terms of what you stand for and your values, but also you were talking about recently the courage to try even like new things with that.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like you were a fashion expert recently on Breakfast Television, which is so much fun.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, can you talk like more about like that and like your career and your work life in terms of putting your yourself out there?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not afraid to be seen trying.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't give one fuck.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I have this innate confidence in me for sure, but I also think it's a muscle that I have trained over the last six years of being on social media, of just every day, all day, putting myself out there, trying again, flop, like this does poorly, this is a flop, then this does well, and then success, and then flop, flop, flop, and success.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't care.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I think a lot of people are so scared of being judged, of failing.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, fuck it.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I want to make like if you want to make a life for yourself that is unique and amazing that most people won't have, then you have to do things that most people won't do.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, that is every day putting myself out there, sharing my thoughts and opinions, a lot of the times those are against the grain.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Being happily single in your 30s was a big one before I met my boyfriend.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: Then it's like now not being in a rush to have kids and get married with my boyfriend.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's like quitting my job or not having the perfect body, even though I'm in the fitness and the wellness space and all these things.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I upset people sometimes, a lot of the times on social, but like I literally don't care.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and when I started, people were like very judgmental and very like people in my life, like, what are you doing?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and now everyone's like, oh my God, this is so cool.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe like you're doing this, and you had this opportunity and that opportunity.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I just don't think that that ends when you make a big change.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: I try and practice that.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: This idea of like being brave, I try and practice that every single day.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: And anytime that an opportunity or a situation presents itself where I have the option of taking the easy route or the brave, joyful, expansive, interesting, tricky route, I most of the time choose that route.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it puts me in a place of like, fuck, what am I doing?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, last week I was, so I started in finance, built my uh creator career in fitness and wellness and body and all and relationships and dating.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now I've been asked to really step into the fashion world.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've started stepping in myself, but I was asked to really step into it on live TV this week.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of people would panic, you know what I mean?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I was like, all right, let's go.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: I just practiced for two weeks leading up.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just was like really like, all right, what do I have to do to make this work?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if I fail, well, at least I tried, you know?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's like television in Canada.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: Are that many people watching?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: I kept telling myself that.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you said that.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I totally this is why I knew I had to have you on because I just agree with everything you said, like always choosing the more expansive route and choosing, you know, things that are are going to be different, but it's always better to try.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I also want to, since you brought up the unique perspectives you have or the ones that kind of rub people the wrong way, I think it's also whatever your truth is, the fact that you share your truth so authentically that has also made you so successful.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because like you're unapologetic and it's authentic.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's always gonna be people on the internet who don't agree.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's just the internet.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I think when you honor that, you call forward the people who you're for, and like that speaks to the amazing community you've built because you weren't afraid to be authentic.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: You weren't trying to people please, you weren't trying to fit yourself in a box.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: You just like got rid of all these limitations and labels, even with like bodies and the fitness and what we're supposed to look like.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like you just removed all of that and was like, this is me, this is who I am.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love myself, I'm incredible, I'm amazing.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: And basically, so are you.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exact, exactly.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really the message is like, I'm just a regular girl.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if I can do this, like I worked a corporate job, I had never been in front of camera once.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then I've created this entire life where I'm on camera all the time, uh, you know, on social, on TV, on whatever it is.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like I just I did it.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I and I I encourage everyone to really tap into their own gifts in that way.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I do believe that the wellness habits that we cultivate are the foundation of that.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how do I have this confidence every day?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's like I take really good care of myself, I work out, I, you know, I have done mushroom ceremonies, I've meditated, I do like I walk, I do all these things that like make me feel really good in the inside.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: So then I can go out and do the things that feel really good otherwise.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:18
  unknown: Yeah.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: I love another thing I love that you speak about with the the wellness and like the bodies and the permission piece is I think a lot of people don't give themselves permission to have it look a different way than someone else might be doing it, or the way someone else's definition of it, which I think is something really refreshing about like what you bring to the table.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, all right, there was this, this wellness fitness, it said you had to look like this or be like this, or like this was the definition of what it had to be, or with your relationships, like this is how it had to be.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say is the thing that allowed you to feel like the most solid and secure in yourself?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know you have these practices, but like, is there something that you're like, once I tapped into this within myself, uh, then I felt like solid in these situations?
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's a really interesting question.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I don't like let's take like the the wellness fitness perspective, die culture perspective.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like most trainers, fitness people online are really in shape and physically like goals.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like people usually follow them and do their workouts because they want to look like them.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I that's not me.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I've never had the body, I mean, other than when I was like really stressed and going through a divorce, you know, I had lost a bunch of weight.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was praised for that, even though I was like going through torture, but I am not a size zero, double zero, ripped abs, like all these things.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just not, and yet I still felt the courage and just the like fuck it, I'm gonna do this anyways.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's for me, it really comes to training the muscle of doing hard things.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like every day I train that with my workouts as a the baseline of my life.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is like the every day I move my body, even when I don't really want to, I move it even just a little bit for a walk.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like when you when I feel like, oh, this is too hard.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, it's like I push myself to do it anyways.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that like obviously sometimes I rest in things, but we're speaking in general terms.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think training that muscle of doing hard things through my workouts allowed me to then start doing hard things in other areas of my life.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like my finance career, and then it was like switching my career to being a creator and doing the hard thing of posting as a creator every single day.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was like, you know, like examining am I in the right relationship?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Am I not?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: And like then making the choice to leave.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like these are if you've never done a brave thing in your life, I think it's really hard to do a brave thing.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I think you have to practice that as much as you can.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like exposure therapy.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: I keep saying, I love what you said, but it's because we resonate on so many deep levels.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you calling it building a muscle, I like to call it like expanding your nervous system, but it's true, it's not necessarily like a one and done.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have to build a muscle, you get more resilient, and then your capacity, what you're able to do, grows so much more.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about, you know, doing random things.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: My fiance and I took up skiing a couple of years ago.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Nice.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're not skiers.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like when you put yourself on skis and you're throwing yourself down a mountain, like that's that's going for it.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's like, okay, that's hard.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I was able to do my first black diamond this year.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: Nice.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, like that was so expansive.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's putting myself in like situations like learning how to ski at like 30 years old.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I didn't grow up skiing.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's a different skill, but I like to do things like that because I like to show myself that, like, all right, I can do new things, I can do hard things, but you just have to be like willing to do it.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_01: And practice that.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: I too am trying.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: My boyfriend is loves doing new things and hard things.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: Have you heard of like type one, two, three fun?
• 37:13
  unknown: No.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: Type one, okay.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, type one fun is like normal fun.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you're on a boat and you're swimming in the water and it's like normal fun.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: Type two fun is like you have to work a little bit for it.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's like workouts.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: Workouts are type two fun.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like you work for it a little bit, but you feel really good.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: Type three fun is when it's not fun anymore.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: But my boyfriend loves type three fun.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that and that's really putting yourself in uncomfortable situations.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: And as much as I resist it sometimes, I really appreciate when he encourages us together to try some type three things.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be like hiking up a mountain.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: Last summer it was like we went out to BC to Tefino and we rented a van, like a van, like van life thing and slept in the van and like hiked and like did all these things for three days, completely out of my comfort zone.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: And yet a year later, I won't shut up about it because don't say that.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: No, we're renting another camper van in Hawaii this summer.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I and it's like something I thought I would be so uncomfortable and hate it actually created so much connection for him and I.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it was such an interesting, different way.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't, I'm not trying to vacation in a can in a van my whole rest of my life.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: But however, three, four nights of the year of 365, yeah, like I'll I could do it, you know?
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's practicing that muscle of doing something uncomfortable, being at the end of it and being really proud of yourself and being like, okay, I could maybe do this again.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then that just applies on every scale, on the small scale daily life things, and then on these like huge life decisions of changing your career.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like I would I had been working in finance for 10 years almost.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was who was I to suddenly become a creator, an influencer, uh, you know, put myself up like, but it's like then you get to make these big life things and you're able to do it because you practice training that muscle.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: I am obsessed with this type one, type two, type three fine.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use it.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: I reckon it all the time.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone listening has to now like find some type three in their week, do a lot more type twos.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the reason You know what?
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Type three, a good example of type three is that's accessible that people are doing a lot is cold plunging.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's not fun.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sauna, type through, type two.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Sauna's type two.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's yeah, it's a little bit of work, it's a little sweaty, but cold plunges type three.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're cold plunging, then you're practicing type three a lot.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ask your boyfriend, like, are we doing a type two fun or type three fun when he's planning something?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, he's like, Oh, let's do something fun.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, is this like a type two fun or like a type three?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we talk about it in those terms a lot, but he knows too that like if he pushes me too hard, I'm not gonna want to do it again.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: So whenever he's doing things, he's like, really, like even that van trip, like he made it so comfortable.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: And there was wine, and there was like there was just, you know what I mean?
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like he made it as great as he could so that I would want to do it again.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: And now we're going to Hawaii in July and I am doing it again.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, okay.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: I was laughing so much about the van because literally my fiance's dream is to like go in a van and I agree, like to do exactly what you said.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I said there's so many odd similarities.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: So many similarities.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: What you have to do is say, okay, fine, I'll go in a van, but for the same number of nights immediately after, I want a five-star hotel.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: But that's what I said.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, I literally we can do some, but like after I want to go to a five-star spot to like balance it out.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what that's what we're doing in Hawaii.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: We're going from there to like a nice place.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, okay, I could do it.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: I could do it and look forward to like a really nice like shower and like a beautiful hotel.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll have to let you know if I end up camping and then if I end up loving it like you do, you do afterwards.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know he's listening right now and like he's taking notes about making it comfy and the blankets and all that to make sure that like I enjoy the experience.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I heard him laughing.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Lots of snacks.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh God, like she says she loves band life.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows what will happen too.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have loved everything that we've talked about.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's so many valuable insights from the permission piece, like that you give women, from even this like type one, two, three fun that I know is gonna be useful for people.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: And just like, I think who you are representing someone like a woman that lives beyond limits is so great for people to see online.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: We would truly like need more of that.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: So we're obviously gonna leave like all of her links down below, her Instagram where you can follow her and just really be tapped into her world and her community and become a part of it.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for coming on the show.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was an absolute delight to hear.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: I loved this chat.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.