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5 Steps to Have More Fun this Holiday: Your Guide for Wholehearted Celebration · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you tense up at the thought of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Does your heart sink just a little when you think about spending the entire time with your extended family?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe this year it's not getting to see those you love.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And does the thought of all of those gifts keep you up at night?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you are not alone if you raised your hand and feel a little anxiety about the holidays.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because as a mom, the holiday season is mixed with the best of times and some of the most challenging times.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I am here to help you out.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, my name is Amy Wicks, and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a Christian Enneagram coach for moms, who loves to share resources which help you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul de sac in the Midwest.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was overwhelmed by motherhood, and I struggled to understand my true motivations.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: He helped me turn those challenging moments of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I share a broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plan so you can live a life full of courage and abundance.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Enneagram.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know the symptoms of holiday stress actually take on several different forms?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Such as anxiety, sadness, you know, like you get weepy when you hang that favorite Christmas ornament.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have headaches and you think it's just from the smell of the candle, body aches, and it's not from influenza.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you struggle with sleeping, waking up at night, and then irritability because yeah, you're tired.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Holiday stress can affect anyone, even our kids.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's the expectations, gatherings, traditions, and pressure to create happy memories, it leads to significant stress.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: All the expectations, gatherings, traditions, and the pressure to create happy memories, well, it leads to significant stress.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've experienced the loss of friends or family, the holidays may add even more hurt and stress to these significant days.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I've got your back.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I have five steps to more fun this holiday by eliminating the overwhelm so you can savor the season, even as a mom.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, today's episode is a preview of something really special that I've put together with you in mind.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I am sure I've shared this family fact before.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: But in case you didn't know, my little family of five people, plus our fur baby, has three birthdays the week of Christmas.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, I'm not kidding.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: My husband's birthday is the 22nd.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter was born the day after his birthday, and my mom went into labor 10 days late with me on the 27th of December.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Though I'm gonna leave the year out.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we have extended family with birthdays that week, right?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why not add to it?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: We have three Christmases to celebrate with all the family.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have to plan for two road trips, and as fate usually has it, well, we at least have one virus to navigate.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: The holiday season is crazy for us.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And while I don't do the last two months of the year perfectly, I have learned a ton of ways to empower other mamas to eliminate the overwhelm and make Christmas a really special time to engage in wholehearted celebration.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: I know if you're anything like me, you are so done with the uncertainty of this year, and you are ready for some fun.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: You may have even broken your longstanding rules about waiting until after Thanksgiving to decorate your home for Christmas.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry, I am right there with you.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I imagine you are also looking for ways to accomplish these traditions and more fun without the extra stress and without spending a bunch of money.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Can I get an amen?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: As I mentioned, this episode is a preview of something really special I've created.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this the week of November 9th, then next week, starting November 16th, I'm hosting an online event to dive deeper into the five steps that I'll share with you today.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: There'll be five steps to make this holiday more fun.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: During this event, I'll be going live each day to spend 30 minutes teaching on each topic, and then I'll be offering a time of question and answers to help you implement the ideas I'm sharing.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, there'll be lots of Enneagram coaching as we talk through each step.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And as you set aside the minutes to work through these ideas, I do believe that it will set you up for more fun this holiday season and even into the new year.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a mini group coaching session, just in time to make Christmas more fun for you this year.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And in this small online group, we'll also be tackling the number one obstacle to our wholehearted celebration.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's what I call the scarcity mindset.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the five key takeaways that we'll cover today, you will find them to be beneficial for this Christmas and the rest of the year ahead.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: First, own your time.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Second, map out your budget.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Third, indulge with balance.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, family matters, and fifth, the soul goes first.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now none of these five concepts are original, but it's how I've implemented them step by step in my life and mapped it out for you that will empower you to eliminate the overwhelm and savor the season.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So what do I mean own your time?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you've been a listener for a hot minute, you've probably heard me say the phrase, own your time instead of it owning you.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: I teach a very simple method of looking at a 90-day block of time and strategically mapping out the big things down to the minutiae of each day.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, as an Enneagram 7, this is anything but rigid.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, it's a framework that has served me incredibly well for all the seasons of motherhood.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: From when I had little babies to now teenagers with a busier social life than I have.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So stop before you go any further with your holiday planning and map out the next two months.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Start with the big concrete plans and work your way down.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, I'll be teaching this to the group in my five-day event, but if you're the sort who already has a good system, consider this a reminder to pause and write your schedule down.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: The main benefit of this process is you begin to see the gaps of your time that you actually have and the crowded days that need some serious evaluation.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And like a puzzle, you can move the pieces so it will work for you.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you want a little bit more about this topic, I would love to have you join the five-day event.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I've also listed a couple of podcast episodes which give some more details on this topic.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, next, let's map out your budget.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: My husband and I took a financial peace class 11 years ago, and it literally saved our marriage.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I have a few episodes and written pieces on this topic, but for today I'm going to give the high view.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you didn't know already, then hopefully you'll heed my number one piece of advice.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: You must create a Christmas budget.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: No ifs, ands, or buts.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because even if you don't do a budget the rest of the year or with the entirety of your finances, this year more than ever requires us to budget.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be so tempting to overspend in order to compensate for the lack that we've had this year and the anxiety we feel about 2020.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: You may not get to be with family and you will want to make it up in physical gifts, right?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps you'll feel so deprived by the disappointments you've experienced and all the stress, your life is gonna scream, spend, spend.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone out there feel this way?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: So here's how you can do this, and you can do it one of two ways.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: First, set a dollar amount that you know your bank account can handle.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then write down the names of all the people that you need to purchase gifts for.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Then working from greatest to least in your priority of gift giving, assign the individual dollar amount that you can or want to spend.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then lastly, you need to make sure the totals of your gift list is at or under the budget that you've named.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: The second way to work this is to work your way backwards.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are a big gift person, like your love language all the way 100% is gift giving, and you can't imagine being limited by a dollar amount, start with your people list first.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Write out who you need to buy gifts for, what your ideal budget for them will be, and then go back and make sure your bank account can handle the price tag.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Lastly, don't say it works in your budget if you have to put it all on the credit card and then hope that you can pay for it in January.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: I promise, if you haven't already experienced this consequence, having to pay for those credit cards in January takes all the joy of December away.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now in my five-day event, we will dive into each Enneagram type's superpowers for budgeting and why you want to create one for your family.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Third, how to indulge with balance.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's the food, the traditions, gatherings.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many choices during this season.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: So what do you pick?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: What takes priority?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, when you first merge two adults with their unique family customs, you begin to be aware of the traditions that are important to you.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are just some things, food, or events that make Christmas feel like Christmas.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a very funny story to share with you about my first Christmas experience in my five-day event.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: But for today, I can tell you, for me, it's Russian tea cake cookies and cinnamon rolls Christmas morning.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: But for my husband, well, it's waffle cookies and tamales on Christmas Eve.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: His family opened stockings the day before Christmas.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And in my family growing up, we would take an hour going through our stockings as my mom finished breakfast and we longingly looked at the rest of the gifts from Santa.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now how about you?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: What are the different traditions that you carry from your family?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And what sorts of traditions have inadvertently begun in your home with your kids?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: With each of these choices you need to make on food, traditions, and gatherings, here are some helpful questions to ask yourself and the family each year.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are your favorite traditions, food, and activities?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: What matters most this season?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Who and how can we help this Christmas?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as my kids have gotten older and my propensity, you know, to do all the things, I have to actually find out what is most important to my kids.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I ask them and then often limit them to share their top pick.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then I do my best to make sure that one thing happens and the rest I have learned and am learning to let go.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I celebrate if there is an opportunity to do or to try something in addition to what we named as our priorities.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now on to family matters, which really is a continuation of the last step.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Except now you get to factor in the in-laws and extended family expectations.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: For a lot of you, this is a big pain point.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it may never be ideal.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: But you know I'm going to be a proponent of doing what you can to not just tolerate the differences, but learn in time to celebrate them.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: I do believe that as you become self-aware about how certain relationships might trigger you, you will grow in compassion towards yourself and then be able to take measures which will create healthier boundaries with the extended family.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you can, ask the in-laws and even your family which events, traditions, and food matter most to do together this season.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to have a strong or pretty firm idea of what you can say yes to ahead of time so you can explain what you can do and what you can't do this year.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: I know that each family situation is so unique.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why on day four of my five-day celebration event, our 30 Minutes Together will be an opportunity to get some insight and personalized advice to help you navigate these sometimes sticky situations.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if this isn't your pain point or you've come up with some great solutions, you'll have to share them with us.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, the soul goes first.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And because you're a woman, well, you may put off this step until it doesn't happen.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: But how are you investing in your soul?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Go back to that schedule you've mapped out in step one and pencil in the time that you will make to invest in yourself every day.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Not just the morning cup of coffee with your Bible and journal, but the 10-minute walk or dance in a kitchen, maybe a$5 massage chair experience, or perhaps it's calling a friend or reading your favorite seasonal fiction book.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe this year, one of the best things you can do to set the tone for your season is to set aside$10 in your budget to join me in the five days to have more fun this Christmas.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Not only will we be covering these practical plans and each of the steps, but we'll also be diving into the spiritual elements which will help you walk out these concepts in greater peace.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, part of determining how you will be indulgent in food, traditions, and gatherings will affect the health of your soul.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you create healthier boundaries that are fitting for you and your family, you won't feel as drained.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when you are more aware of what triggers your insecurities and relationships, you can navigate the family dynamics this year and every other year with greater clarity and compassion for yourself and others.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Each of these steps are critical for laying a foundation for the wholehearted celebration you desire.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, friend, as I wrap up these last five steps, let me leave you with these reminders.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: No year is ever perfect.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: You will always have to keep in sight what really counts, and each year you will have to rethink the expectations.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Create a routine, trim the list, and don't skip on sleep.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And breathe.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Exhale what you can't control and inhale the peace of Christ, who is the best gift this season.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to keep this conversation going with you in my five days to more fun this Christmas event happening November 16th through the 20th.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this and we've already started, well, you can still join us.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: The$10 private event will be on a small Facebook group where you can go back and watch the lives through the end of November.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to be a part of my bonus small group coaching sessions, you'll get to have lifetime access to both the Facebook Lives and the recorded Zoom calls.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, you'll have access to all the supporting material.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you desire to savor and simplify the season, I've got your back, and I would love to have you join us.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And as I mentioned, some of these topics today I've spoken in depth about in previous episodes.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be sure to link those up in the show notes.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: You are the mom for the job, even as you navigate your unique, crazy this holiday season.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I am here to help you love it.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Join us next week as we continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for this fourth annual Simply Wholehearted Advent Season.