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#HURDLEMOMENT: How to Stop Making Excuses & Go After What You Want · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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  Speaker 1: Decisions may not always be easy, but they can be powerful. Remember,
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  Speaker 1: not making a decision is a decision of itself, and
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: when you are faced with the problem of making a decision,
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  Speaker 1: first realize that, then come to terms with the notion
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  Speaker 1: that any decision at that point is going to be
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  Speaker 1: better than no decision at all. Hey, Handler's Emily a
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: body popping in for a new installment of Hurdle Moment
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  Speaker 1: before we get going here, I feel like I need
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  Speaker 1: to thank you this week, maybe more than any week ever.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like so many hurdlers, so many people listening
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  Speaker 1: into the podcast, are reaching out and share sharing their
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  Speaker 1: stories with me, showing me their gratitude, and I just
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  Speaker 1: want you to know how much I appreciate it. It
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  Speaker 1: feels extra special, just because right now there is so
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  Speaker 1: much going on. Life feels chaotic and out of our
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  Speaker 1: control in a lot of ways.
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  Speaker 2: And for a while I was convinced that it would
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  Speaker 2: be hard to do.
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  Speaker 1: Much of anything while things weren't how I hoped they
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  Speaker 1: would be. After a few weeks that mentality, to be
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  Speaker 1: real with you, it started to get old and stale,
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  Speaker 1: and I knew that sitting here in my fourth floor
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  Speaker 1: New York City apartment and just thinking things should be
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  Speaker 1: or could be or whatever that wasn't going to get
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  Speaker 1: me anywhere. To an extent, I just got really tired
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  Speaker 1: of my own bullshit. Notice that this episode is marked explicit,
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  Speaker 1: But yeah, I woke up a couple of weeks ago
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  Speaker 1: and just said, screw that, Like, why am I wasting
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  Speaker 1: so much of my energy being frustrated with how things
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  Speaker 1: could be or should be.
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  Speaker 2: If that's not how they actually are? I know it.
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  Speaker 2: I am better than that. I am, and so are you.
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  Speaker 1: Let's be real that way of thinking it won't get
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  Speaker 1: any of us anywhere. For us to be better, for
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  Speaker 1: us to make positive change, it often starts with this moment, right,
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  Speaker 1: this moment of realization what I affectionately call, as you know,
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  Speaker 1: a hurdle moment. Some hurdle moments are a tad more
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  Speaker 1: on the life changing spectrum than others, but each of
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  Speaker 1: them happens so that we can be better. So for
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  Speaker 1: today's installment of hurdle moment, I am talking to you
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  Speaker 1: through how to stop making excuses and start doing.
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  Speaker 2: Before I get into it, taking a moment to think.
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  Speaker 2: That's Dailyharvest dot com. You all know the drill.
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  Speaker 1: Keep reaching out to me at Hurdle Podcast at Emilybody
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  Speaker 1: and if you have a hurdle moment of your own
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  Speaker 1: to share, or you just want to say hi, I'm
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  Speaker 1: just an email away over at Emily at Hurdle dot us,
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  Speaker 1: and with that, let's get to hurdling. It is so
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  Speaker 1: easy to make excuses period. A lot of the time
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  Speaker 1: we make excuses because it's a lot easier not to
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  Speaker 1: do something sometimes than it is to actually execute. Before
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  Speaker 1: we can stop making excuses, it's important for us to
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  Speaker 1: understand why we are making them in the first place.
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  Speaker 1: More likely than not, we are afraid of change, of
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  Speaker 1: trying something new. We like to do things that are
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  Speaker 1: inside of our comfort zone. But you all know the
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  Speaker 1: saying that growth doesn't happen when you stay inside of
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  Speaker 1: those imaginary lines. When you stay inside of that comfort zone,
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  Speaker 1: it's also easy to make excuses, especially when you're comparing
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  Speaker 1: your situation to that of others. Which, don't get me wrong,
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  Speaker 1: it's inevitable at times, but in the long run, you
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  Speaker 1: cannot let what other people are doing prevent you from
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  Speaker 1: reaching from the things that make you truly happy, from
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  Speaker 1: the things.
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  Speaker 2: That you really want.
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  Speaker 1: You know, I was on a call with a graduating
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  Speaker 1: senior today named Luke. A friend of a friend asked
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  Speaker 1: if I would chat with him about my career as
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  Speaker 1: a journalist, and he told me that he wants to
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  Speaker 1: go in to broadcast journalism and he has a specific
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  Speaker 1: interest in sports broadcasting, and so of course I asked
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  Speaker 1: him naturally if he thought about starting a podcast. That's
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  Speaker 1: a really great way to get your voice out there,
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  Speaker 1: to start doing something that could give him some familiarity
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  Speaker 1: with the field and something that future employers might be
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  Speaker 1: able to check out. He said to me, well, it's
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  Speaker 1: just so saturated, like there are so many people that
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  Speaker 1: are making sports podcasts. And I kind of stopped him
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  Speaker 1: there because I said, listen, this is applicable to Luke,
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  Speaker 1: and it's probably applicable to.
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  Speaker 2: You as well.
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  Speaker 1: There may be a lot of people doing whatever it
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  Speaker 1: is that you want to do, but there is only
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  Speaker 1: one you. That's what makes Luke's podcast potential special. That's
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  Speaker 1: what makes you special. We have one life. You have
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  Speaker 1: this one chance to be the best version of yourself.
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  Speaker 1: So you can spend this chance wondering what it would
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  Speaker 1: be like if I did X or Y, or you
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  Speaker 1: can just go and do the damn thing, all right,
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  Speaker 1: So first things first, understand why we are making excuses
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  Speaker 1: in the first place. That feeling of unfamiliarity, that feeling
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  Speaker 1: of uncertainty.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe we're not ready.
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  Speaker 1: The next step to stop making excuses and start doing
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  Speaker 1: make a decision. I know this can be super frustrating,
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  Speaker 1: but if you're not committed, if you don't make a
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  Speaker 1: clear decision, it's never ever going to stick. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: think about the last thing you were fifty fifty on.
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  Speaker 1: My guess is that you likely did not go through
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  Speaker 1: with a thing that you quote unquote wanted. And if
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  Speaker 1: you could see me right now, I was one hundred
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  Speaker 1: percent using air quotes, plain and simple. You cannot move
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  Speaker 1: forward without making a decision. So, for instance, two weeks ago,
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  Speaker 1: on a Monday morning, I was having a conversation with
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  Speaker 1: one of my oldest friends about.
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  Speaker 2: My eating habits and how I was feeling.
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  Speaker 1: When it just hit me that I was tired of
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  Speaker 1: hearing myself complain about feeling as though I didn't have control,
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  Speaker 1: and I just wanted to grab hold of it. I
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  Speaker 1: wanted to take back control, period And so that day
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  Speaker 1: I made the decision I was going to get back control,
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  Speaker 1: and I started implementing all the things I've wanted to
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  Speaker 1: do since day one. So, for example, now when I
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  Speaker 1: go to the kitchen, which is many times during the day,
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  Speaker 1: and I think that I want to grab a snack,
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  Speaker 1: I start by drinking a glass of water, something else
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  Speaker 1: that I could be doing so much more of. And
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  Speaker 1: after I drink the glass of water a few minutes later,
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  Speaker 1: I will ask myself, am I still hungry?
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  Speaker 2: Eight Nine times out of ten, the answer to that
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  Speaker 2: question is no.
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  Speaker 1: I'm eating because I'm either stressed about something there's something
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  Speaker 1: else I don't want to do. I'm using it as
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  Speaker 1: a way to cope with whatever else is going on.
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  Speaker 2: Of course, there's a.
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  Speaker 1: Lot more to the eating strategies and the I'm not
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  Speaker 1: going to snack on absolutely everything thing that I'm executing
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  Speaker 1: in my own home, but I will save that for
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  Speaker 1: another podcast.
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  Speaker 2: So Step one decision.
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  Speaker 1: Now, decisions may not always be easy, but they can
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  Speaker 1: be powerful.
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  Speaker 2: I'll say that again.
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  Speaker 1: Decisions may not always be easy, but they can be powerful. Remember,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: not making a decision is a decision and of itself,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And when you are faced with the problem of making
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: a decision, first realize that. Then come to terms with
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: the notion that any decision at that point is going
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: to be better than no decision at all. Step one decide.
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  Speaker 1: Step two set a goal. Now, I've talked about smart
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  Speaker 1: goals on the show before, specific measurable attainable, realistic, and
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  Speaker 1: time bound, and all of those credentials are really important
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  Speaker 1: when you think about what it is that you are
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  Speaker 1: trying to achieve, what that first decision is propelling you towards.
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  Speaker 1: So if the goal is a big thing, for instance,
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  Speaker 1: say right now you'd like to start a podcast, well
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  Speaker 1: maybe smaller goals are certain benchmarks that can get you
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  Speaker 1: to that bigger exciting thing. Maybe this week it's researching
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  Speaker 1: to find out what podcasts you like and making a
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  Speaker 1: list of ten of them come Friday. Perhaps next week
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  Speaker 1: it's finding your some intro music and ordering the right
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  Speaker 1: equipment so you can do this at home, and so
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  Speaker 1: on and so forth. By setting incremental goals, small things
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  Speaker 1: that can help you climb the ladder toward that ultimate,
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  Speaker 1: big exciting thing, those are just as important in setting
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  Speaker 1: this goal. It is important for you to identify your why.
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  Speaker 1: Why is it that you want this thing? That why
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  Speaker 1: no one can take it from you? And that is
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  Speaker 1: what will enable you to actually stick to your plan
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  Speaker 1: to start doing now. It is okay, it is more
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  Speaker 1: than okay to be inspired by other people, but the
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  Speaker 1: motivation for the goal, for what you want it needs
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  Speaker 1: to come within just because you see someone else doing
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  Speaker 1: something cool, that doesn't mean that you need to do
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  Speaker 1: what they're doing. In fact, I would encourage you not
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  Speaker 1: to unless it is one hundred percent true to what
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  Speaker 1: it is that you want.
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  Speaker 2: In this process, I need you to do me a favor.
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  Speaker 1: I need you to stop pretending that right at this
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  Speaker 1: very moment, you don't have most of the essential tools
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  Speaker 1: to go after whatever it is that you want. And
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  Speaker 1: I'm not talking financially right, I'm talking about the idea
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  Speaker 1: that you have that grit inside of you to go
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  Speaker 1: for your big dreams.
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  Speaker 2: But you can't just.
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  Speaker 1: Listen to me tell you that and believe it. You
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  Speaker 1: have to believe that for your self. Again, it starts
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  Speaker 1: with your why. It starts with believing in yourself. And
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  Speaker 1: when you do that and start to set smart goals,
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  Speaker 1: then you can start to take real, actionable steps. The
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  Speaker 1: next important thing when it comes to stop making excuses
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  Speaker 1: and start doing is keep track of your progress. Positive
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  Speaker 1: progress can be a total game changer. When we see
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  Speaker 1: that things are going well, when we celebrate these small wins,
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  Speaker 1: it encourages us to keep moving forward. Now, you have
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  Speaker 1: to be just as okay with progress as you are
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  Speaker 1: with failure. And that's because when things don't go as planned,
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  Speaker 1: we have just as awesome of an opportunity to learn
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  Speaker 1: from those experiences.
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  Speaker 2: Failures are only failures if you see them that way.
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  Speaker 1: But instead, if you take a step back and you
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  Speaker 1: look at a mishap or an undesirable outcome and you
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  Speaker 1: learn from that opportunity, then you have then just gained
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  Speaker 1: something even though it's not going to plan. You have
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  Speaker 1: to have compassion with yourself and remember you are human.
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  Speaker 1: So even with the smallest act of keeping track of
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  Speaker 1: your progress, checking in with yourself, maybe a day will
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  Speaker 1: go by when you meant to do that and you didn't,
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  Speaker 1: and hey, it happens. But what I want you to
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  Speaker 1: remember in this whole process of stop making excuses and
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  Speaker 1: start doing is that every single minute, every single day,
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  Speaker 1: you have the chance to start fresh. If you fall
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  Speaker 1: off the wagon, no matter how long it has been.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to go back to your why why
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  Speaker 1: did you want to start making those changes in the
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  Speaker 1: first place. Remember the days when you were making excuses,
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  Speaker 1: and think about how those excuses, how that feeling of
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  Speaker 1: stagnation really made you feel. You are bigger than the excuses.
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  Speaker 1: You are capable of big things. You can set goals
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  Speaker 1: and you can progress and celebrate that progress. And the
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  Speaker 1: last key component I'll chat about today when it comes
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  Speaker 1: to you stopping to make excuses and start doing, is
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  Speaker 1: to share this goal, this mission, this thing with a friend,
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  Speaker 1: whether that's over the phone, over text message, whether it's
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  Speaker 1: actually participating in something and executing with someone else. It
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  Speaker 1: is so important from an accountability factor for you to
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  Speaker 1: show up and be honest about what it is that
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  Speaker 1: you want. And sometimes when we keep these things bottled up,
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  Speaker 1: it's easy to hie right, It's easy to go back
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  Speaker 1: to that excuse making place.
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  Speaker 2: But again, you are better than that.
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  Speaker 1: Whether it's just a friend, a family member, a mentor
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  Speaker 1: a colleague, whoever it is, do yourself a favor and
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  Speaker 1: be open, be willing to get vulnerable, knowing that putting
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  Speaker 1: yourself out there will only do you a service in
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  Speaker 1: the long run.
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  Speaker 2: That's it for today, guys.
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  Speaker 1: I'm so interested to know what it is that you
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  Speaker 1: want to change. What are you making an excuse for
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  Speaker 1: right now that you want to pivot on? I'm all
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  Speaker 1: ears as always at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast.
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  Speaker 1: Another Hurdle Conquered Catch you guys.
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  Speaker 2: Next time, ASSA