Latest / ok storytime / I ACCIDENTALLY saw my boyfriend's scars, and he threatened to end our relationship! | Reddit Stories | EP3076

Transcript

I ACCIDENTALLY saw my boyfriend's scars, and he threatened to end our relationship! | Reddit Stories | EP3076 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we got some great stories coming up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep this show alive.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I accidentally saw my boyfriend's scars and he threatened to
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: end our relationship.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Sometimes the scars, they go deep.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Trigger warning, mentions of death and scars. My 23 male
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: boyfriend's 24 male house burned down when he was younger
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: after electrical issues were never disclosed to his parents. Yeah,
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: what would that be? Like he had a taser that
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: he liked to play with at night? He and his
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: father were severely burned. They lived, but his mother passed away.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: He and I met in freshman year and became best
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: friends in sophomore year. I've never seen his scars in
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: good full view until now. Only small glimpses of his
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: shirt rode up and he'll fix it quickly. To cover himself.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: He's always hidden his scars. Constantly wearing jeans and long
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: sleeve shirts. Even if it's super hot outside. His scars
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: start from the bottom half of his ribs. To just
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: above his knees. So this is the only way he
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: can cover them. He even brings his pajamas into the
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: bathroom to change into. He's done this ever since I've
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: known him. Even after we've been intimate. Which is when
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: we do it in the dark. which doesn't bother me
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: because I know this is what makes him comfortable, he'll
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: immediately get changed back into his clothes before we cuddle
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: or do anything else. Is this guy the Phantom of
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: the opera?
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, I thought you were talking about the Venture Brothers
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: for a second. Yeah, does he sing? Does he dance?
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Does he have a cool mask?
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Is he working on a project? I mean... Is he
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: writing something?
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I think maybe what we need to do for this
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: guy is.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I'm an opera.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Just really commit and you should get some scars.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: No, don't do that. I know he is ashamed of
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: his scars. And when we were friends, I was fiercely
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: protective and always changed the subject if his scars got
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: brought up, which he always thanked me for. I have
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: never and would never ask or pressure him to show me.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I don't judge his scars or think they're ugly. By
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Throwaway Gay Roommates. If you
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: want to smear old stories, go to the r slash
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: okstorytime subreddit. I'm Riley.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I'm Dakota.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: And we're going to read about these gay roommate lovers.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: And if you have any thoughts on that, please let
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: us know because we're not experts in gay roommate lovers
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: unless Keon and Dakota have anything to say.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I love you.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: I would be, but the fire stuff really makes me
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: not an expert.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: So, Opie says, I thought he knew I wouldn't judge
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: him because some of his dad's burn scars are impossible
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: to cover up. One of them is covering half his face.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Never once have I judged or even thought his dad's
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: scars were disturbing. He's a very handsome man. They both are,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: which is why I'm so confused by his reaction and accusations.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I work weird hours. I'm a nurse, so sometimes I
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: come home at 9 a.m., sometimes 5 p.m., sometimes the
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: butt crack of dawn. I went to immediately take a shower.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I was in an airplane mode and was completely exhausted.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: I opened the bathroom door. and he was getting changed.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I saw his scars. I'll admit, I stared, not because
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I thought they were gross, but because I was having
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: an oh crap moment knowing I messed up. Well, at
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: least you didn't go like, oh God. Or go like, ew.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: That would have been terrible. Oh. Yeah, but again, OP's
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: on airplane mode. Can you imagine being a nurse, having
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: a long day of work, and you're just like, I
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: just want to take a shower.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: Nope.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: You can't even comprehend how hard that work would be.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: The horrors they go through, yeah.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: And if OP's the worst, like Fred Skull says, and
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: OP's a nurse, you know he's seen way worse. Maybe
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: not way worse, but he's been around the human body.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: OP's seen some things that we've never seen.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: You guys are already bumping it, you know? What more
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: can you say?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: It was an accident. He and I have been dating
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: for almost a year. I had to move into his
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: place a while ago after my parents went no contact
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: and cut me off after I came out and told
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: them I was dating him. Long story short, toxic, Bible-thumping parents.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm not used to sharing an apartment with someone.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: He blew up at me, yelling at me to get out. No,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: he has never yelled at me before this. Sure, we
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: got into spats and small fights where he raised his voice,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: but he never full-on yelled. I shut the door and
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: he went quiet. I was pacing in the kitchen for
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: almost 20 to 30 minutes when he quickly walked past
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: me trying to leave and I stomped him. He was pissed.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: He was yelling at me that he thought I knew
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I would know to knock by now and questioning if
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I did it on purpose. I was trying to explain
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: while trying not to cry because I saw how red
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: his eyes were and I knew he had been crying.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I couldn't say anything, just made incomprehensible sobs as I
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: tried to explain But he wouldn't listen and left without
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: saying where he was going. Hmm. Yeah. Hmm. I think
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: he's going to the club.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: He's going to the club because there ain't no crying
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: in the club.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Can't cry in the club. Where else can you not cry?
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: In the club, we all fam and we do not cry.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Or he's going to go play baseball. Could play baseball.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: There's no crying in baseball.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: There is no crying in baseball, Tom Hanks. Maybe he's
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: going to a therapist.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: That would be the best thing he could go do
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: right now.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: A therapist. Yeah. A nice, healthy walk.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Like, in the nicest way possible, brother, nobody cares about
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: your scars.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Nobody. People will think about it for one second.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: And then they will move on with their lives and
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: not think about it.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Well, it's layered, though. Because the way he got those scars,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: his mother passed. And there's, like, deep, deep self-roots. Probably, like,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: guilt that he couldn't do anything. Yeah, I know. There's
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: a lot of untangled mess under there.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: He's got to go to therapy for them scars. But
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: if you've got a boyfriend of a year and it's like.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's... Yeah, I feel like they should be
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: talked about now.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Because, Opie, you love him. Hopefully that's said.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Opie continues, I'm heartbroken. He texted me an hour ago
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: with a single message of, I'm not coming home. Tomorrow
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: we can talk about a relationship. I immediately messaged him
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: back asking what that meant and spent several minutes watching
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: that little text bubble bop in and out before he texted...
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Whether we should stay together? As if it was obvious.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I have no idea what to do. He's my boyfriend.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: My best friend of eight years. I love him and
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine life without him. His dad is like
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: a father to me. How do I make this up
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: to him? How do I let him know that I'm
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: sorry and never meant to make him uncomfortable? We have
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: an edit.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I get it.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: He has scars and it's very traumatic and he went
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: through something very, very life-altering, but You didn't do anything, OP.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: And if anything, you were one of the closest people
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: to him and there for him. He obviously needs therapy,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: but you didn't do anything malicious or make fun of it,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: or you just saw his scars. You did nothing wrong.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'd just be like, we can just
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: break up, actually. I know it sucks, but it's like...
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: After eight years?
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Really?
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Well, no, they haven't been dating for eight years.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: They've been friends for eight years, dating for a year.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I think at this point, you just got to go, look, man,
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: if that's your reaction to this, clearly it's a super
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: huge deal to you. But you can't just expect me
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: to eat that and go, oh, no, I'm so sorry.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I did wrong.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: I was so bad.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: I was so wrong. Just a complete accident. And if
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: me just seeing you as your partner is going to
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: lead to this, I'm leaving, I'm not coming back home,
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: it's like, you're not ready. You're not ready to have
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: a partner like this.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I disagree, though. And he'll come back.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Once you say that, you go, fine, if you want
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: to leave me because I've seen your scars, which, by
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: the way, don't care about, you can do that. I'll
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: be here for a little bit. Maybe if you change
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: your mind fast enough, I'll still be here.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I disagree with that because I think your partner really
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: needs you in this moment, and the best thing For
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: him to do since he was young is just push
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: people away. And you need to be a rock and
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: to be there and have a serious conversation of we're
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: good friends. We're going to be throughout this. I think
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: we should see a professional.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you should. You 100% should tell him, like,
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I think you definitely need to see therapy for this.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I think it would be a benefit for you. Yeah. 100%.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: We have an edit. A Redditor brought up a good
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: point that made me think I should specify. He was
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: bullied for his scars. A huge bully from his middle
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: school always sniffed the air when he entered a class
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: and said really loudly, ew, you guys smell that? Smell
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: like bacon's burning. Every time he entered a room, then left. Ah, what?
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: That's messed up.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I don't know what kind of role models
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: he had in his life, but if that's my kid, I'm.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Like, you go ahead and beat the hell out of
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: that guy.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I got your back. Whatever happens, I got your back.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: You can go ahead and sock that man in his mouth.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Also, in small glances, a lot of our guy friends
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: would say how cool it is looks like Deadpool skin.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: They were trying to be nice but failed horribly. Hence
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: my fierce protectiveness over anyone bringing it up. And his
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: family always emphasized that it doesn't matter what he looked
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: like on the outside because he was beautiful on the inside.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: He also mentioned having a really bad ex-girlfriend who had
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: issues with scars in the past but never went too
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: deep into it. and I'm starting to wonder if that's
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: what his overreaction and suggestion of a breakup was rooted in.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I'm taking mental notes on all the comments on what's
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: the best way to approach this, and they're really helping.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that's a lot of information. of what this
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: guy went through.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I haven't changed my mind. I'm still not your high
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: school bully. I've copulated with you.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I see your point, Dakota. The best way to
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: overcome this, I think, is just to be met with
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: love and that unconditional, I'm always going to be here.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I don't think that'll work. And doing that for an
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: amount of time, if you're always there, you can show
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: up in different ways. I think that's what Opie's done
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: the whole time. If over time it's just not working,
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: you can step back. But after the eight years of
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: their friendship, he's never yelled at him once. Opie's partner
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: is going through something traumatic, and I think this is
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: the threshold of them making it to the other side
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: if he's persistent in it.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you have two roads, the spooky tree road
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: and the sunshine happy road. I just think if this
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: guy gets the cold water of like, oh yeah, yeah, sure,
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: we won't continue our relationship. And it's not because of
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: your scars, by the way. It has nothing to do
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: with that. It has to do with the way you've
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: just reacted right now.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: He's already pushed someone away before, his ex-girlfriend. He's already
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: done that. What's going to stop him from doing it again?
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Did he? He did. I mean, they broke up. Yeah,
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: that doesn't mean he pushed her away. We don't know
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: the details of it, but I'm assuming.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: But, like, this might be the shock of, like, oh, like,
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: if I, okay, this guy's totally willing to leave me
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: right now. If I continue to just, like, put my
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: scars ahead of all other, like, number one priority is
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: nobody can ever see these.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: And if I keep doing that, it's going to ruin this.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: So you have two choices.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: You either come back and talk to me about it
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: or we break up.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Sofa King Sarcastic says, remind him you're a nurse. Thus,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: it's no big deal, and you're not going anywhere because
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: of this. And Mary Pendulum, heart full of gold. We
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: got an update. Put your predictions in, and do they
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: stay together or not?
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: No.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: And if you want to put a cherry on top,
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: who's the one that initiates the break? Probably not OP.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: How much money are you putting on this? I got
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: this tennis ball. That goes for a market price of
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: 50 cents.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: It still smells kind of new.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's 60 cents. All right. See if Dakota will
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: double up. Update. A lot of your comments were very helpful,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: but I didn't get to reply to some, but I
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: read them. Most of them were along the lines of
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: get him to therapy and make sure he knows his
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: scars aren't an issue for me, as well as setting
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: up a place to stay in the worst case scenario
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: that he kicked me out. Spoiler alert, that didn't happen.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I didn't sleep a lot last night. And based on
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: some comments, I decided to send a text that I
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: love him and his scars don't bother me so that
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: it could relieve some tension. He didn't respond to that,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: but he came back in the morning. We talked for hours.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: It started with me apologizing for walking in on him,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: and I didn't mean to. He admitted that he knew
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: that and apologized for yelling.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, good starts.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Good starts.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: We're on good starts.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I think he came to terms. I think he was
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: just all emotion, all talk.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Good to walk away. He took that nice walk.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Took a long walk, took a deep breath, and went,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Oh no.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: I suggested we get locks on the doors and he
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: seemed pretty happy about that. To clear the air, I
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: asked him about the whether we should stay together text
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: and if it was rooted in his ex-girlfriend. Basically asking
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: if she broke up with him over that. He admitted
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: that he thought she didn't mind his scars and took
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: his shirt off in front of her. She decided to
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: gasp and start making a big deal about how he
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: cheated her. and that he made it seem like the
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: scars weren't that bad, and she broke up with him.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Dude, what town do you guys live in?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: If you don't look normal, you can't fit in. It's
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: kind of Stephen King type neighborhood. Or The Giver, that
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: whole universe where the children that look a little odd
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: go into the forest. What was that second book called?
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I just know Jeff Bridges was in the movie. The Taker.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Is that, no, it's not called, is it called The Taker?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: No.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Stop. The Taker. You guys know what I'm talking about?
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: That's kind of the basis of the second and third book.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I have zero. So you have The Giver, and then
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: you have the second book that the guy made, where
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: that town's perfect, everyone's beautiful, everyone's great, but then across
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: the forest.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Brave new world.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's no colors. Everything is just like gray scale.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: That's The Giver.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's the first one. But the second book kind
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: of talks a little bit more about. What's that second
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: book called?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Is it Gathering Blue?
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Gathering Blue?
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Or the Give Requirements. I don't know.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I need to read those books.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: It is Gathering Blue.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Did you see the movie? I saw the movie. Great book.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: And then Messenger and then Sun.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: It's probably Messenger. So, very niche. Apologies. He said he
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: knew it wasn't an excuse, but his brain immediately went
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: to that and he freaked out. I asked if he
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: wanted to break up and was trying to find an excuse.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: And he quickly said no, specifying that he was just
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: trying to give me an out if I wanted. When
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I tell you, I was relieved. He asked if I
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: wasn't disgusted, why I stared, and I said that I
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: had an oh crap moment of panicking knowing I messed up.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: He felt awful and apologized for making me feel so
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable in our home. Every time he says our home,
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I have a serotonin high and said that he tried
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: to work on being more comfortable with his scars. That's
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: when I suggested therapy. How do you think he responded? Good.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Right, we gotta know now this is the time that
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: we know to go to therapy, right?
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: At 23, right?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: We start watching Avatar, the last airbender, and we go, no,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: that's not it. We go, so close.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be worth it.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: This guy.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, ew, gross.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: It's Zuko. We look at Zuko. Zuko here.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, God, why is half of him bad?
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, oh.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You know, I think, because clearly I was joking about that,
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: but I think this guy does need some reps, you know?
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: He needs some practice reps of someone being like, oh, disgusting!
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: And then just being like, nice. Not right now.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Thank you for your input.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe in the future, but let's tackle this obstacle first
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: and then get to that obstacle.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I'm not saying like right now.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: I'm saying like, yeah, you're going to have to get
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: a thick skin, you know?
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that's the approach at this moment or...
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: And that's okay. But I will say at 23, I
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: didn't realize therapy was an option until someone mentioned it.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: They're both pretty young. He instantly got defensive, saying that
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: he already had therapy and it didn't work very well.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I pointed out that the way he wants us to
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: live isn't healthy and that we can have locks and
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: a knock before entering policy. But him expecting me to
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: never see him undressed was unfair to both of us.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: That it was his insecurities getting worse and me enabling it.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: He was dismissive of these points, saying how it wouldn't
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: change things, and that it didn't work the first time,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: so why would it work now? I pointed out how
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: he almost threw out a nine-year relationship over me accidentally
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: walking in on him. He tried to say that locks
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: would help stop that from happening again, and I said
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: it might, but I don't want you walking on eggshells either.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: I want you to be comfortable with me. I want
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: you to trust me. He begrudgingly agreed to talk to
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: his dad about what therapist he went to and going
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: to see them.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: Hey, don't do that. Go see a different one. The
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: first one didn't work.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I'm going to text his dad just to make sure
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: he does this in a few days. I also repeated
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: a suggestion that other people made about getting tattoos or
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: going to couples counseling. And he just stared. He asked
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: something along the lines of, why do you care about
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: seeing my scars so much? You didn't care before. not
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: mean or aggressive, just genuine confusion. I kind of laughed
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: awkwardly and said, I thought that you would show me
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: on your own when you were ready, but I don't
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: know about that anymore. Baby, I love you, but I
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: don't want you to feel like you have to hide
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: your scars from me, nor do I want you to
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: worry about me breaking up with you overseeing your scars.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I love all of you, including your scars. Aww.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Aww.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: It's getting real. This is the real part of the hallmark.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: This is a hallmark, dude. That's a hallmarker, dude. Oh, man.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Stamp it.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Send it off. It'll be on TV in a week. Yes. Oh,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: my gosh. This holiday. This holiday season. He's two. A boy.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: Boy.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: And another.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: A boy.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: And another boy. Who are roommates. Wrecking with the scars
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: of his past. And they're bad. But it's all good.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Because he's a nurse from a big city. Mm-hmm. And
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: he's a boy from a small town. This holiday season.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Two men in love with each other and one has burns.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: The movie.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: No, I was going to say Healing Scars.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: And that's why we hired him to make the title. Yeah,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: then it has a colon, and it says Healing Scars. What?
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: It has a colon.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: It's two men in love with each other and one
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: of them has burn scars.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: The movie, colon Healing Scars. You should have just named
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: it Healing Scars. What the hell?
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: The Hallmark audience.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Loves a long title. They love a long title. They
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: love a good descriptive title. Yeah. Yeah, man. There we go.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: They like knowing exactly what's up.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Mary Pennington says, horses are good therapy. All right. I
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: can neither confirm nor deny this. Opie says, he started crying.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: It wasn't the first time in the conversation. Tons of
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: tears shed on both ends, and I comforted him. He
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: said he didn't want me to be stressed out in
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: our home and that he was sorry. He was a
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: lot more open to couples counseling than personal therapy, which
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: was a half win that I'll take for now. We
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: talked about our future some more, and I asked if
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: he ever thought that he'd be comfortable with me seeing
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: his scars. He said that he wants to show me,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: but he's not ready yet. I was happy to accept that,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: especially since he's agreed to couples counseling and therapy. I
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: am so proud of him, and I'm instantly proud of you. Yeah.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: We win. be proud of you.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: You tell us about it, we will find you.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: And rate us on Spotify or whatever podcast platform. That'll
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: help us. Give us five stars only. Opie says, we
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: got dinner and slept, which we both really needed. And
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: as of today, I'm doing research on couples counseling programs.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: while he went to work. Beautiful.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Beautiful. We got a little bit left. I like this.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: I still wish you would have been a little more like, dude,
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: wake up. You can't let these control you for the
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: rest of your life. You need to go to therapy.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you can't do negative and negative.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. If you did that, then he would have
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: automatically accepted it and then just pushed OP away. What
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: he needed is to be constant, that constant rock in
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: this emotional turmoil to And this is where it ended up.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: That's what everyone else did.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but they're just going to couples counseling.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: That's okay.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: That's a good step. Is that not enough for you?
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: He needs therapy to get his own stuff sorted with.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: He's getting there.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: With OP. He was totally against couples counseling until OP
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: talked with him. And then they made a win to
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: go to couples counseling together. And he's going to talk
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: to his dad. Baby steps, bro. I'd just be like, dude,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I've known you for nine years.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: I'm your ride. I'm your ride or not ride. I'm
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: your ride or in the ground. Type kind of guy.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: So, we've been dating for a year. I see your scars.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Great.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: No big deal.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Doesn't matter. But you're going to like end everything with
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: us over that? That's messed up. You need to fix
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: this yesterday because I love you. Not because I'm like... Whoa,
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: that was so unfair to me. It's unfair to you.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: That's a hard love. Sometimes you can't do a hard love.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: That's tough love. And he's been tough on himself for
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: a long time. I think he just needed to be
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: met with... Yeah, but it's like on the other side
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: He's being tough on himself where he's like, I'm gross.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I'm gross and I can't let anyone see. It's like, nah, dude,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: you're gross and it's fine.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Have you not seen Phantom of the Menace or Igor?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Phantom of the Menace. Menace of the Phantom.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Phantom of the Opera?
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: That one. That one.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: The Phantom Menace is Star Wars.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Ice Windows from Phantom Menace Opera. Dang it. Phantom of
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: the Opera or The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Both of those fellas were met with gentle, unconditional love
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: and look how the movies ended. One was a little
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: better than the other, but.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: We're talking about the Disney one or the real one
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: because the real one for the Hunchback was pretty bad.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the real one doesn't get like, you know.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: You know what? Let's just stick with the Disney one.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: That one's happy.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: The Disney one. Remake. I just remember that lady. I
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: don't know, man.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: You know what?
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Hot take.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Maybe if they had done what I was doing to them,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: maybe if they had given him some cold water tough love,
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: the movie never happens because he's like, dude, I'm a
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: hunchback and I'm killing it.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I'm sick. I got gargoyle friends.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: Maybe. I got a hot Romani woman who's hanging out
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: with me.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a hunchback. Suck it. All right. Which approach
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: would you guys take? Dakota's or Ryguy's and Keon's? Long
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: story short, we are getting... on a better path with
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: a plan for the future where I can see his scars.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I won't be showing him this post because quite a
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: few comments were pretty rough on him and he doesn't
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: deserve to read that for having a reasonable breakdown. Lord
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: knows that man has dealt with plenty of my breakdowns.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you everyone for the suggestion and support. Great story. Beautiful. Beautiful.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: You'll see that in the holidays. Beautiful. Made by OK Productions.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: This holiday season.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Your favorite couple is back with healing the scars that
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: burned you for nine years. Three. We're in therapy now. Colon.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: It's nice. It's getting hot in there. And that's, yeah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: And then it becomes a new Fifty Shades of Grey.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Fifty Scars of Grey.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: My husband threatened divorce over where I sleep.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: You sleep here. Beside me.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: My husband and I have a 10-month-old baby. Let me guess,
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: that baby's going to ruin your marriage. I'm currently a
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: stay-at-home mom, and he works full-time. We've been together for
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: nine years and married for three. The biggest issue in
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: our marriage right now is sleep.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I bet.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Everyone needs it. Everyone loves it.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: My husband snores and has sleep apnea.
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: Ooh.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: For years, I tried sleeping next to him anyway. I
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: tried earplugs. More than 20 kinds of earplugs, actually. Sound machines,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: putting pillows over my head, and so on. Did you
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: try putting one over his head?
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: That would stop it.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: This has been an issue for many years, and he
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: kept promising to fix his snoring. He has a CPAP,
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: but won't practice wearing it during the day to get
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: used to it and only tolerates it for about an
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: hour at night before.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: Taking it off.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: I don't get that, dude.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Like, once you realize you have the thing that makes
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: you just stop breathing in your sleep, why don't understand
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: how you could be like, I don't know, but the.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Machine is inconvenient. Yeah.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Crap you not. We read a story yesterday where Opie
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: was wearing a CPAP machine and her boyfriend was like,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not attracted to you anymore.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: And we went, what?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: We went, huh? So maybe, maybe, maybe give him the
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt. He's like, maybe, maybe Opie won't
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: think I'm attractive anymore.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, my CPAP gives her the ick.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: But the snoring is pretty attractive.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: That is a tough one.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Getting no sleep, pretty attractive.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: My grandpa snores and I did not enjoy sleeping in
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: the house with him.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: I can't handle it. If somebody snores, it's like the worst,
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: the worst experience. Cause then you get that.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Brief pause where you're like, Oh my God, it's finally over.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Thank you. And then it just rips back in just,
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: and you're like.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Oh God, I just want to go to sleep.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: After having a baby, I finally reached a point where
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I could not sacrifice sleep anymore. Between being woken up
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: by the baby and then by snoring in between the
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: baby's night wakes, my physical and mental health bottomed out.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I now sleep in another room so I can function
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: during the day and care for our son. By the way,
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: this comes from C Fondant 362.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: If you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Riley.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: And we're going to read this story and we're going
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: to have our thoughts and advice, but we don't know all.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: The stuff all the time.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: We only know what we know, so let us know
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: what you know down in the comments, okay? OP says,
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: My husband says sleeping separately makes him feel rejected and disconnected.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: I have tried to reassure him that this is not
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: a rejection and that I love him. I'm only sleeping
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: separately because I need sleep. I have offered to spend
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: time in bed together before sleeping to cuddle and connect
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: in other ways and to work on the marriage. But
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: he says that if separate sleep becomes permanent, He won't
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: be able to maintain affection or connection because it would
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: feel fake to him.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Then I go, hey, bucko, I'm not getting sleep because
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: of you.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's his responsibility at that point.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Are you pointing the finger to me because I want sleep?
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure you could put something over his head
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: that muffles his sounds. Or put him in a box. Yeah.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Put his head in a box.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: I'm so... I'm so, I so desperately need to unpack
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: this guy's perspective. If you're not sleeping in the same
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: bed as me, even though we just had a child.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Sounds like a mediator is needed as well. Yeah,
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: you know what the mediator is?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: A CPAP machine.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, here's what I think you say. I think you say,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: I can't sleep next to a freight train in the
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: middle of the night. That's what you sound like, choo-choo man.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: So unless you get some hostage tape and tape up
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: that mouth you are guzzling down air with during the
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: middle of the night, I don't know if I can
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: stay either.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: How about that?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I would do a fun test here. I'd be like,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: you know what? Let's do a fun science experiment. I'm
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: going to have really loud pans just start banging away
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: throughout the entire night. How does that sound?
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Also, my next question, does he help with the baby?
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Katie has a good thought there. Can we tell him
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: to ask his doctor about... Inspire implant for his sleep apnea.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: I hear that's more effective than CPAP. Ask your doctor
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: about the Inspire implant for CPAP apnea.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Side effects may cause nausea, divorce, hating your husband, I
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Use it at your own risk. Yeah, right, that's funny.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: You just sponsor them. I just had to say it
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: in that voice. Ask your doctor about giving me $ 5.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I'll keep him away.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: The part I'm struggling with is that he says the
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: marriage and family will fall apart over this, yet he
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: hasn't consistently followed through on the things that could fix
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: the snoring. He barely wears the CPAP and won't practice
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: using it during.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: The day to get used to it.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: He refuses a jaw device, though he has talked about
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: getting a custom one for several years without following through.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: He refuses a wedge pillow. No strips don't work. He
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: says everything is uncomfortable and that he can't sleep with
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: those things. Oh, when you do a baby, you know,
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: it probably felt pretty uncomfortable to start walking when you
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: were a little tiny infant.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, you can't sleep with those things? Guess what? I
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: can't sleep with you next to me.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Van Campinator, record him in his sleep and have him
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: listen to it. That's pretty smart.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I did this.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: You know what? Better yet, every time he wakes you
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: up in your sleep, just shake him.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: You woke me up.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Our friend now has sleep apnea, Nick. His girlfriend... Well,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: he didn't know about it until his girlfriend told him
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: That's so scary.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: He was my roommate in college. He didn't have it.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: I found out in Japan. And we went, when did
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: that occur? He's like, I think it's new.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And he's like, yeah, my girlfriend will... hit me
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: to wake me up and push me to my side
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: because it's that bad. Yeah. He's a CPAP machine now.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: But it is bad.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Shoo.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Literally, honk, shoo.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. You know, if survival of the fittest was a thing,
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: people that snored... Gun. in a CPAP machine.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: done for yeah I gotta imagine like that was never
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: a thing you know this is like way back in
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: the primal.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Days you get eaten by a bobcat yeah.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: I don't yeah cause people were so small back then
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: people we were so we've gotten so much bigger as time.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Has gone on a giant hawk is taking him away.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: The bobcat yeah like a mountain lion.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Bobcats are like.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Sabretooth cat.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: A loaf of bread.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: Sabretooth.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Mountain lion. Bobcats are pretty... They're like coyote size. Nah,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: they're smaller than that.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Probably not by much, but they're smaller than coyotes.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: But a bobcat's still gonna eat anything. Bobcat couldn't eat...
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: It could maybe take out a person. Yeah.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I think you're thinking about mountain lion. I think you're
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: thinking about mountain lion.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: Well, they're still gonna eat you.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: There's like... A bobcat's not bigger than a Maine Coon. Okay,
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: go ahead and just keep But now I'm tripping out.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Now I'm like, am I wrong? Oh, my gosh.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Men. Adult bobcats weigh between 15 to 35 pounds and
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: measure about 28 to 49 inches in total length.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: 49 inches. That's crazy.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: Four foot long bobcat.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're still taking out. They're still hunting.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, my days.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Anyways.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, we were so small back then we
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: could get taken out by a bobcat. Anyway. Hey, it's Dakota,
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: your favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: from our sponsors. He has suggested that I should compromise
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: by sleeping in the bed with him several nights a week,
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: even if that means no sleep for me. He recently
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: told me that if I will not compromise and sleep
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: in the bed with him four nights.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: A week, he would like a divorce.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: That doesn't make any sense.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm immediately hearing that and going.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: All right, let's peel back the layer on that lasagna.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: Let's get into the meat of this.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: What the hell are you talking about? Are you cheating
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: on me?
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: What's going on?
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: You can't handle the baby?
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: What's happening?
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: You afraid?
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: You scared? What are you doing?
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Because I know it's not because your bum ass is
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: snoring all night and I can't sleep that you want
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: to divorce me.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. Mediator.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you've been given a half dozen solutions to this
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: problem as well. And instead of having any one of
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: them being used... Your solution is to divorce me.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, his real thing is he's not willing to compromise.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: His compromise was, you have to sleep in my bed
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: seven days a week.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: I don't think he understands the importance of sleep. Until
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: he goes without it, he won't understand how important it is.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying. Get the pans ready. Just
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: one night of going, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah. Okay,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: he waits 10 seconds.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good point. This freaking guy. Just wake him up
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: every time he wakes you up.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: And he goes, I didn't get enough sleep last night.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: This shocked me.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Because he has always said divorce would never be an
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: option unless I did something extreme, like cheating.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Well, this is one step below that.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I gave up income and career stability to stay home
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: with our babies, so hearing him put divorce on the
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: table over this has made me feel physically sick.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: It's the only way to stay healthy, guys. I'm going
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: to read between the lines here. Mm-hmm. Feel free. I'm
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: pretty sure these people are Christians because he values tradition,
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: like family tradition, because one, she's a stay-at-home mom. I'm
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: doing a lot of assumptions here. One, she is a
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: stay-at-home mother. And then two, he values the wife being
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: near him like this. I think he needs a mediator
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: and talk to a pastor and like really see another
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: perspective because her saying it, he doesn't respect her opinion
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: enough to actually hear her or follow through with any solutions.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man. I don't know how you did
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: it for OP for seven, seven years.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Let alone a week, a week of sleeping next to
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: someone who's like, there are solutions. I don't feel like it.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Um, Kim Phi makes a great point. It's so
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: crazy that I'm getting divorced is also totally reliant on
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: OP doing something and not him.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's backwards. This isn't love.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man.
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: I think I'd go sick.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Noted. Let's do a fun little experiment. All right. I'll
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: sleep in the bed next to you.
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: And you will be and you will get to sleep
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: exactly the way I do.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Deal or no deal?
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Compromise. Every time you snore, I hit you really hard.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, he continues. I am not against sleeping in the
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: same bed, but I am against being repeatedly woken up
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: by snoring and then being expected to function as the
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: primary caregiver the next day.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Being asked to prove my commitment by sacrificing a basic
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: biological need while he is not doing everything he can
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: to treat the snoring. We're starting couples therapy and I
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: am also in individual therapy. I know this is bigger
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: than Reddit, but I'm looking for a reality check. Has
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: anyone dealt with a spouse who experiences separate sleep as
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: abandonment or rejection and makes the marriage conditional on it?
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: Did therapy help, or was this an ultimatum?
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: He seems to have some sort of resentment towards you
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: that he hasn't spoken, and that's why he's bringing this
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: up in such a way. There's a lot in this onion.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet you this guy's just got unpacked childhood
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: trauma where it's like he wanted to sleep in his
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: mom's bed at some point and then his mom.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: Was like, you can't do that. You're too old.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: I'm not taking, I'm not, you're disgusting.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: You're 24. And that spun around in his head and
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: now he's like, if.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: Anyone doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as me,
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: they're abandoning me.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Whoa, that's deep. That's deep.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it shouldn't be this, and it shouldn't be, to
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: be clear, it shouldn't be this deep at all. You're like,
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: I need to sleep. I take care of our child
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: all day. I need to be able to sleep.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I'm losing my mind. Yeah, there's not an update, is there,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: on this one?
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I can check.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: He's like... So sad.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: He's like, oh, no, but then I have to wear
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: my Darth Vader mask at night.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, I have to wear my Darth Vader mask.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know why this guy isn't stepping up. It's crazy.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: He probably already feels like he's the provider and he's
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: doing enough already. Thus, he's exempt from making any sort
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: of compromise and that OP should do whatever. And someone said... Yeah, I'm...
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: the husband views Opie as a possession.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: Also just extra dumb to not want to fix the
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: problem of you cease breathing in the middle.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Of the night with no control over it.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: You can just never wake up from that, actually. It's rare,
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: but that can happen.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: If that's how he's handling this, I can only imagine
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: how he's handling other aspects.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Of his life. We do have a slight update. It's
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: just in the comments.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: What you got?
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Opie says, well... Someone asked, hey, are you okay? Do
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: you have an update on your situation? I truly hope
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: you're safe. That man seems like a menace. And Opie says,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: thank you. I am definitely safe. The update is his
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: stance is slightly softened, but still not great. Working on solutions.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: The ramp pillow has greatly helped, but not enough to
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: fully stop the snoring. I'm waiting on Oslo sleep buds
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: to arrive. I'm going to continue doing what I need
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: to do to take care of my health. And if
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: he allows it to be the hill he passes on,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: so be it, I guess. Sleep is a non-negotiable, especially
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: as a mom to an increasingly active toddler. So it
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: looks like he's still not doing anything, really.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Good luck, girlfriend.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: It can cause really bad things. That would be my
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: approach if I was OP. I'd be like, you realize
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: this isn't just about how annoying it is you wake
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: me up at night, right? You have a condition that
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: can cause severe harm to you if you just ignore
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: it completely.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: And if you show him the brain scans of someone
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: that hasn't had consistent sleep over the years, that might
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: make him wake up and you see, hey, if I
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: don't get a consistent sleep, I'm going to lose out
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: on the spicy part of my brain. Thus, I'm not
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: going to want to have spicy time with you. Oh
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: my gosh, if I don't get enough sleep, my butt
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: is going to decrease and deflate.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Someone said this. His comment says, Purposely causing your partner
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to lose sleep is a form of abuse, which I agree.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we read a story one time where that happened,
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: and that was crazy. Dang, they were doing CIA sleep
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: torture on their partner? It's crazy. Don't let John Kiriakou
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: get wind of that one. He's been awful quiet. He's
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: been awful quiet. No, that's just how the YouTube trends go.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: I think he ran out of stories.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: All right, that's the end of that story, but we
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: have another one coming right up.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: I asked for one night to myself, and my boyfriend
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: ended our relationship over it. Yeah, selfish. What's wrong with you? Okay,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: the title does seem a little one-sided. Context. My boyfriend,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: 29 male, and I, 30 female. Are you activating someone's
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: sleeper cell? What are you doing? No, they both have
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: their frontal cortex conjoined. I feel like you're like winter
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: soldiering somebody when you do that.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: No, no, no.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Frontal cortex. Before 24. Frontal cortex streetcar. After 25. Frontal cortex.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: I've been dating since last summer. I live alone in
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: an apartment in downtown D.C. Politics. and he lives alone
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: in a house in Annapolis about 40 minutes away. Pre-quarantine,
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: we did well with splitting the weekends between the two places.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Once states closed for the vid, we decided it made
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: most sense for me to temporarily move in and stay
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: with him in the bigger space with a yard for
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: the dogs. As you might imagine, it had its ups
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: and downs. We were getting a crash course and living
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: together in a space that wasn't really mine at all,
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: having lots of important conversations, enjoying evenings cooking together and
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: having wine while watching shows. We've also been irritable due
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: to the drastic changes in our daily routines. I have
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: continued to work full time from home while he is
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: only working a half day once a week. He is bored.
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: Did you say Jurassic changes?
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: I said no. Oh, drastic. Drastic.
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: Okay, I was like, what do you mean Jurassic changes?
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: Like they all turned into them.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: To dinosaurs. It would be a big difference.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Big feathery changes. Sorry, go on.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: He is bored. I am stressed with work and finding
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: it difficult to decompress. I am used to and need
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: quiet time to myself to recharge and he likes a
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: noisy household activating you know what do you like a
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: noisy household i mean like the tv on in the
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: background some music playing um.
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: Is that noisy to you?
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: It depends.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: It all depends. But, like, I don't mind. It takes
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: a lot to overstimulate me with audio. But then once
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: I get there, I'm like, oh, we got to make
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: that stop.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: It takes a while. I like having some music on,
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: some sort of sound happening. Yeah. You, Savannah?
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: I like when there's people in my home. I like
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: a big, like, if I hear conversation, I'm like, it
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: gets me so pumped.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: Like, whenever I'm on vacation and.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: I wake up and you hear, like, People making breakfast, whatever.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: You would love a big family. I hope you have
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: a big family one day.
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: I have a huge family right now.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: Well, I hope you get one back.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: They're gone now. We took them. TV always on. Music
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: on top of that. Chattering constantly about sports or draft statistics.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: I've tried saying, I'm going upstairs to read. Or, I
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: just like some quiet time to myself. And it bugs
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: him that I don't want to do the things that
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: he wants to do. By the way, this comes from
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Endless Postability. And if you want to submit your own stories,
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Riley.
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: I'm Dakota.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: And I'm Savannah. And we're going to read this quarantine
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: special story. If you have anything you'd like to add
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: about your time in the quarantine, please let us know
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: because we have limited knowledge about that. And we're going
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: to be silly. Opie says, last night he wanted to
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: watch the NFL draft. So I made plans to FaceTime
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: my girlfriends upstairs while he did that. I am used
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: to weekly girls' nights and miss them as they're also
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: my primary support network. I heard him downstairs complaining to
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: his dog that I never want to hang out with him. Dakota,
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: quick question. Besides watching Josh Allen play football, what do
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: you and your girlfriend like to do?
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: Like, we'll go to the movies.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: We'll go get some food. But it's not very sports-centric. No,
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: she does not like the sports. She doesn't like the sports.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Honestly, the only reason you should be watching the NFL
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: draft is if you work for one of those teams. Like,
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: straight up. There is no universe where you need to
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: watch the NFL draft.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. What if you're a big sports fan?
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: It's just the most, like, you can watch, like, maybe, like, the, oh,
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: who's going to get the first pick? Who's going to
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: be first overall?
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: That's about it.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: Once you get out of the top five, you'll just
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: see that as a headline and go, oh, nice.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: How do you even know who's on the roster?
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: Who's coming up?
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: Do they say?
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: You have a preselected amount of people in the NBA draft,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: but over college, people are like, oh, this is number
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: one pick, and they kind of amp it up.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: You don't know who the number one pick is until...
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: So you've got to watch college basketball as well. I mean, like,
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: you can get a pretty good idea of who's going to...
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: The point is, the draft is boring.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: The draft is boring even for sports fans to watch.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: So your girlfriend who doesn't care about sports is not
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: watching the draft with you.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: I would rather watch a military draft.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: That one's sad, though. Anyways, after FaceTiming, I went down
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: and sat on the sofa with him and said, Hey,
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I heard you talking to the dog. I came to
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: hang out. How are your team pics doing? Like a
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: great girlfriend. Oh my gosh. He was irritable and replied, ugh,
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: it was quiet until you came down. What?
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: Was it though?
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: All right. Getting to the point now, I had been
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: to my apartment in over three weeks and needed to
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: go check in on it and pick up some prescriptions
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: I couldn't have transferred. We were originally going to go together,
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: but seeing this irritation with each other, I suggested I
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: should go alone. and take a night or so to
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: myself to recharge and come back. The vid note. I
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: do not have to interact with anyone to access my apartment.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: My car already had ample gas. I literally drive from
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: his house to my street, and I'm alone in my apartment.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: This morning, when I grabbed some necessities for a night
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: to myself, my laptop, because I have to work over
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: the weekend, someone to wear a face moisturizer, etc., etc.,
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: he got upset and said, I might as well take
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: all my stuff, and not bother coming back.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: This feels like no clear feelings or boundaries have been
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: communicated at all between the two of you.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think he knows what an introvert is.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: He's treating this like you're going, fine, I'm going to
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: go stay at my place, when really you're just like, yeah,
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I think we need a day apart
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: from each other just to be our own humans for
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: a day.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: And like, I'll be back after that. I haven't been
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: to my place in three weeks. Kind of just want
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: to stay there tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The vid being
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: with each other over the vid might have done crazy
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: things to one another.
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: He is taking her not wanting to hang out with
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: him as an insult instead of being like, oh, she
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: needs her alone time. Some people are more introverted. Some
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: people are more extroverted. And that's all right. But she's
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: trying to communicate her needs.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: And he's like, well, that's stupid.
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: And that's not cool.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: That's not cool.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: That's cool though now that's cool hey this is riley
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: the host that can't really read that well we're gonna
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: get back to the stories but here's three minutes worth
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors i tried to talk through
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: why it was so all or nothing for him he
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: said i clearly didn't want to spend time with him
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: or be around him so i can just go home
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: for good and we can resume dating when the states
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: open back up. He actually bagged up the remainder of
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: my stuff and took it to the car for me? Reddit,
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to read in silence. Get my medications,
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: water my plants, sleep in my own bed for a night,
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: watch my own trashy TV shows without interruption, and now
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: I think my relationship is over. So what do I
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: do from here?
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: Enjoy being single.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: No.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: This guy.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Yes. No.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: I am sick of defending these bad relationships. No, that's...
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: This guy, that sucks.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: He's going to find some girly pop who wants to
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: watch the NFL draft. Somebody said their grandma still watches it.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: She's 80 years old.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: He'll find your grandma and you can go find a
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: guy who actually enjoys the things that you enjoy. Part
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: of this is probably COVID insanity, whatever. Like you're in
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: the house a little cooped up.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: There we go. Whatever.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: I'm like if that's how you feel about it, buddy, sure.
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: Lose my number.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: I disagree with that. I disagree with that. I think
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: it is just that. The COVID insanity of Oh my gosh,
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: there's so much happening because on his end, one, he's
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: not working that much. Two, I doubt he has kept
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: up with his guy friends because what guy friends do
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: is usually every so often they just hang out and
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: they're good. Three, he's bored. He just wants a friend.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: And I think he puts all that on OP and
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: has completely lost all those factors of a place to work,
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: a place to go hang out. And he's just at
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: home all day. I think there's a lot on his
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: end that needs to be kind of reshapened for this
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: new temporary living situation he's in. And he doesn't realize that.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: And he's putting all that on OP. I mean, it's
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: entirely possible. He's talking to his dog. He's screaming, I
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: want someone to care about something with the passion I have.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: But it's not like he's out here doing, like, woodworking projects,
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: being like, oh, I wish I had somebody to hold
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: the other end of this 2x4. He's watching the draft.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: He's bored. He's sitting around watching TV at.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: A loud volume, and this OP is just like, I
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: would like quiet time to read. Maybe I would like
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: a night to myself. And he went, wow, betrayer, you
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: mean nothing to me. Why don't you go figure yourself
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: out and hit me up when you're not a piece
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: of garbage?
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: I just think he has a lack of purpose and
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: he puts all that purpose in hanging out with Opie. Yeah,
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: but then you know what? And she seems to have
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: a lot of things going on. He doesn't have anything
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: going on and he can't see that.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: And he's sad. Then to be an altruistic person, I'm
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: going to take myself out of his equation. So he
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: doesn't have anything else distracting him from finding his purpose.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: Because I can't be your purpose. I can't be your purpose.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: So go find whatever it is. I'm not here anymore.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: I think he's just taking it out on OP because
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: he doesn't have anyone else to take. He literally is
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: going to the dog. He's talking to the dog at
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: this point.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: This is screaming loneliness. And there's a male epidemic of loneliness,
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: I think. You can't. You can't say that. That's literally
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: what's happening right now.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: His girlfriend's been at his house for three weeks.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Because you need more than just your girlfriend to hang
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: out with, and he doesn't understand that. That's the real problem.
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: No, I think the real problem is he's not communicating
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: his problem. He's taking her as her actually addressing her
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: problem of being like, hey, you know, I'd rather be
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: in a room quiet doing the things that I want
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: to do rather than being out here doing what you
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: want to do. So I'm going to remove myself. And
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: then he takes that as, oh, I guess you don't
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: want to be with me then anymore. And it's like.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: No one's hearing each other's needs.
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: But he's not even saying that he, like, he's not saying, oh,
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: when you say that, I now feel like you don't
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: want to hang out with me. But instead, he just
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: blows up instead of having an actual conversation about it.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: He's like, oh, well, I guess you just don't want
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: to be with me then.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, cool. He hasn't, like, gotten to the point of
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I know what I need. All of his structures in
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: life that has been on default has fallen apart now.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know, bro. I think you're giving this guy
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: so much grace. That's fine. But Yeah.
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, he's like, oh, oh,
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: you don't want to hang out with me right now?
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, I don't. I want to go read
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: a book by myself. If you can't cope with that, oh,
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Like, have fun with the dog. Have
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: fun with the dog.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: I don't, I've never met this guy, never seen him.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: This is just, if I was in this scenario this
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: is probably how I would want to be treated but
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: we have an edit I am home in my own
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: apartment alone he is not contacting me I spent yesterday
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: drinking wine cooking listening to music softly facetiming girlfriends caring
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: for my plants and reading a good book I'm not
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: crying or sad I feel comfortable and at ease in
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: my own space again. While my boyfriend is not working,
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: he is still being paid his full salary. While I'm
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: currently working a lot, I normally have a much healthier
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: work-life balance. Some big deadlines happen to coincide with and
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: to be exasperated by the pandemic. I was very clear
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: with my boyfriend before this upswing started and let him
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: know I was going to be a lot busier and
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: would appreciate his support extra for a couple of weeks
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: before until things settled down again. I like the part
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: where you communicated. Many of you have brought up quality time.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: I have attempted to express my desire for quality time
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: to him. Things as blunt as, let's hang out together tonight.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: What should we do? Sometimes it would work, and we'd
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: have a nice dinner and watch a show together. And
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: other times, it would end in frustration and not go anywhere.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: In regards to the mattress thing, I'm hearing all your
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: replies about how it wasn't important to him, so he
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: didn't want to compromise. took having a very dramatic emotional
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: breakdown after nights of no sleep for him to realize
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: how important it was we find a solution. It came
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: after numerous, I'm really not sleeping well. Can we work
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: something out so I'm more comfortable conversations? Okay. Wait, is
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: this the other story?
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: Mate, did we just slip into the twilight zone and
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: this is the other story? I don't think so. I
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: don't think so. I think maybe there's just another problem.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: She's over there for three weeks, not sleeping well on
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: the mattress. He's like, whatever, snooze you lose.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: But I don't know. And finally, you are all not
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: wrong that I have a low bar for thoughtfulness. It's
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: not really something I've ever experienced in a relationship. I
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: have some relevant comments. I'm sorry. If I'm in the
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: pandemic and my girl is working her booty off She
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: comes home, food's cooked. She's going to have alone time.
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: And then we're going to, I'm going to plan something out. Yeah, man.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I think, I don't think you can
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: compare yourself to this guy. Because there's no universe in
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: which you would respond this way. Like, Angie wanted to
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: go read a book.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Unacceptable.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: You'd be like, wow, you want to go read a
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: book instead of watching, like, shoot, I don't know.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: Paul George highlight reel?
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the same Paul George highlight reel for the eighth time.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: This week, I have shown her some Russell Westbrook highlight
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: rules like a few times.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: And she probably went, whoa.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Exactly.
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: She did.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what happened.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: Whoa.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: But like, honestly, that's good. Because, you know, like, Russ
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: is probably one of the only players who could get
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: someone who cares nothing at all about basketball to go, oh, wait,
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: that was, that, I don't know what I'm looking at,
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: but that was crazy.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: For real. We have some comments.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: I will say, if you're looking for that, When I
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: was the nanny for the twins, one of them was
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: very extroverted. The other one was more introverted. And when
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: they would come home, the one would go to his
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: room because he had to be so extroverted at school
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: that he would need to reset and go upstairs, be
• 52:40
  Speaker 4: by himself, read a book, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: then he would come downstairs. He needed a reset. And
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: we just gave him that time. And we're fine with that.
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: They're like, yeah, you can go home, decompress, and then
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: start your work or whatever.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: It's a thing. It's a thing. Commoner says sounds like
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: spending time apart is not the worst idea. Go home
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: and decompress and let him reach out. Hope he says
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: exactly my plan. Currently I'm having a glass of wine
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: and cooking some gumbo and my sweats playing my favorite
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: music softly. Commoner, if he does contact you, please be
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: objective about the things he says. Gaslighting is insidious. Also
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: try to notice how you feel unless you are filled
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: with joy by the sound of his voice. and he
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: is passionately sorry and says he will take care in
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: the future to better consider your needs. Do not settle.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: Opie says, I haven't really been upset tonight. Maybe it's
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: just because nothing has been officially decided, but usually lack
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: of closure in situations heightens my anxiety. I'm just weirdly
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: calm and unemotional about it. Maybe that says something in
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: and of itself. On setting boundaries with her boyfriend, Opie says,
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: I struggle with setting boundaries. and grew up with a
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: really unhealthy conflict dynamic in my family, so it's difficult
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: for me to set a boundary calmly and before I
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: am already feeling it crossed. This was one of my
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: most mature and calm attempts at doing so. He is
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: used to getting his way, past things we've been able
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: to work through and give me hope that he is
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: capable of understanding and adapting, but his initial reaction when
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: he doesn't get his way is really off-putting and a
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: trend And I don't see changing. Whenever she was saying
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: I'm cooking and listening to my music and having a
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: good time, it really does feel like you don't get
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of that at his place. Yeah.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: Feels like the activities you are doing at your place
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: are making you much happier than sharing your time and
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: space with this guy.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: On her boyfriend's family background. Dang, we're getting it all. Oh, Pete?
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: He comes from a well-off family and is, from my
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: lower middle class perspective, spoiled. Oh, is he? No. Spoilers.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: We both lead similar lives now, but how we got
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: here is very different. I moved away after college, have
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: been financially independent since college, put myself through grad school,
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: and worked very hard for my career and apartment in
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: a city I adore. He works for the family company.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: Still lives one town over from his family and gets
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: a lot of nice perks from it. A few specific examples.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: His family owns season tickets and club seats for the
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: NFL games for their team. Wait, what team is near
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: him in D.C.? The Commanders. I thought that was Washington State.
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: No, it's the Washington Commanders.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: It's the Washington, D.C. football team. That's why he was
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: watching the draft. He's like, anything will be good for
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: our team. Yeah, maybe a better name. That'd be a
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: good one. Good one to start with. His father hands
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: him and his brother a credit card and allows them
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: to run their bar tab for the entire game on him.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: One particular game, his aunt was using two of the
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: tickets and sitting in his preferred seat. So we sat
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: two seats over. He complained the entire time. His parents
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: sent us hundreds of dollars worth of groceries this past week.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: He complained for over an hour and even called his
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: mom about it. That ground beef wasn't included. despite his
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: having every other meat legally butcherable in the U.S. in
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: the freezer. He has an extra firm mattress on his bed.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: I hate it. Even he doesn't love it. I couldn't
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: sleep for weeks and restored to sleeping alone in the
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: guest room. He was upset that I wouldn't sleep with
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: him despite my saying I couldn't sleep on his mattress.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: He eventually agreed to split the cost of a topper
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: with me. But it took weeks to get to this
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: seemingly simple rela... Rela.
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: Rela.
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: You know why this is happening, Riley?
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: Because you have dyslexia. And also because you were defending
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: this spoiled brat baby man.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't know this about him. This is what you get.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: I didn't know. You should have sense. I didn't know.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: You saw too much of yourself in this man. You
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: were like, this guy, I can stand up for this man.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: He's a good man. I didn't know he was a
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: baby about season tickets and not sitting in his usual
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: season tickets.
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: There's nothing that rubs me the wrong way more than
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: being somewhere like you're in box seats at the NFL game.
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: Your dad's paying for your entire bar tab, but you're
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: sitting two seats over from where you usually sit and
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: you're going to moan about that for the whole game?
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: I leave you. I leave. I'm breaking up with you.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: Doesn't sound like OP has said a single good thing
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: about him. Now that I'm thinking about it. Oh, wait.
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: He's not always selfish. First thing. What? He can be
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: incredibly thoughtful and generous. Giving me one of his two
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: bedroom closets. Making me a work from home space in
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: the basement. Bringing me coffee in bed some mornings. Giving
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: an entire bathroom in his house to my use.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: But.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: It's a toss-up, which side of him I am dealing
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: with in any given instance.
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: I love how all the stuff you lined out was
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: just like basic, like what you do when someone lives
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: in your house for a whole month, which is what
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: you've been doing.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: He's like, I built her a shelter in the basement.
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: He gave me the extra closet no one was using.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: He let me use the bathroom no one was using.
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: He let me use the basement no one was using.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: Wow, there was a desk there.
• 58:33
  Speaker 4: One time he brought me coffee.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And he didn't even make it.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: It was from Starbucks. He brings me coffee sometimes in
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: the morning.
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: Every so often. He puts your desk in the basement.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: He said, I don't want to deal with her. Put
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: her in the basement.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: Send her to the dungeon.
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: To the dungeon. Put her in the brig. Is Opie's
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: boyfriend in therapy? Opie says he is not. He supports
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: my being in therapy, but doesn't think it's for him. Commenter,
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: he sounds pretty trash, by the way. does he make
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: any attempt to do things you enjoy or is it
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: always stuff he likes? He says, I was very into
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: yoga when we first started dating to the point where
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: we talk about doing our class together as a date.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: It didn't happen. And despite a few opportunities, he was
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: never up for it. My practice fell off, but I've
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: been doing it more at home practices during the quarantine.
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: He finally agreed to try 20 minutes with me and
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: seemed to enjoy it. He also once agreed to go
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: on a short hike with me, and seemed to enjoy it,
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: and had mentioned after that he'd do it again. The
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: opportunity just never came up again.
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: It's the like, he seemed to enjoy it. Like, he
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: didn't say anything bad about us, so I think he
• 59:47
  Speaker 4: liked it. Like, why does this guy be like, I really.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: Appreciate us doing something together.
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: Like, this is great. Like, that's all he had to say.
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: But instead, he didn't say anything.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: She's like, he didn't complain, so... I guess he liked it.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it only took me months to get him to
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: commit 20 minutes to one activity I really enjoy. But
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: I can't seem to get my head off the comment
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: you just made of we went.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: On a hike.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: He seemed to enjoy it. Like, who doesn't like going outside,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: first of all? Second of all, what do you mean
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: there's just no time? There's time every day. There's time.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: He doesn't work. It's just going outside. It doesn't work, dude.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: What are you possibly aligning?
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: Dude, I wish I had the vid happen again, dude.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, man.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: I would be so proactive. I'd have so many things happen. Dude,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: I'd be like on top of the world. I'd be
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: a millionaire. Because I would have just invested in crypto.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: I would have just invested in everything starting with crypto.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: Why is this guy? Christina says. Why is this guy? Update.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: Put your predictions in. Do they stay together? Do they
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: break up? I hope they break up.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 4: It's just not a good match. OP, it's like she's
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 4: walking on eggshells. It's really sad because she's like, I
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 4: think he liked it.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 4: We did something I liked and I don't know if
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 4: he really enjoyed it. So maybe we'll do it again. Like, girl,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: it's something you like. He can take 20 minutes out
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: of his day to walk.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: Unacceptable. Maybe 15. It's just this guy.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: He's so thoughtful.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: He lets me use the basement. Sometimes he even lets
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: me out. For real? He took me on a walk once.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 4: He packed my bags to leave. He helped out.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: Yikes. Update. Over a month and a half later, well,
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: as a likely shock to no one, we broke up.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: It wasn't as swift as some comments encouraged. We reconciled
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: after he insisted he hadn't meant to end things and
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: had overreacted out of emotion. We gave it another shot,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: living in our own spaces and again for a few weeks.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: Things went well enough, but unresolved trust issues became exasperated
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: as I was not in his physical proximity as often
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: as he felt insecure about the distance between us. Yeah,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: so this guy sucks.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 4: What, you can't be, like, what, you think she's cheating
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 4: on you because she wants alone time?
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: Dang, he really is just looking for a dog. He's
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: just looking for someone who goes.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, come here.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: Come here, sit.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: He wants a doormat.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: So did my ex.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: A pet? No, a doormat.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: He wants someone to just.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: No, I was quoting.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, from Invincible? Marky Invincible. Ultimately, a few weeks after reconciling,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: we ended up in another argument after dinner one night.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: There was once again a very disappropriate reaction to a
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: situation that should have been more calmly communicated about. And
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: I realized if we reconciled again, I'd be in the
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: same position a few weeks later. It had become an
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: exhausting cycle. We aren't in contact this time. He found
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: the original thread I posted and was understandably hurt by
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: what I wrote and by my not sticking up for him.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: I am sad, mourning the end of a relationship, and
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: feeling bad for hurting someone I care about. Just taking
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: things a day at a time and trusting that I
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: made the right choice. Send your most encouraging and hope-restoring
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: love-after-30s story. And they've been together ever since last summer.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: Truly a marriage of the ages or a partnership they're
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: not married partnership yeah truly a relationship for the ages
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: right if it ain't easy it ain't easy for me
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: that was.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: Just some summer loving that you had going on honestly
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know I just say to me now he
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: seems like a football guy that just likes to drink
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: adult beverages and that's about.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: It yeah he's um he's a selfish spoiled rich brat
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: yeah those are not my favorite type of people That's
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: what he is.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: That's what he was. That's who he is right now.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: That's who he'll continue to be. But that's not.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: Who he needs to always be, you know.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: He has the capacity for great change. He does. We've
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: got comments. Yeah, Lily Levered. Sorry, that was my pirate persona.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: This comes from the video my friend tried to steal
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: my girlfriend right in front of me. That was posted
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: August 15, 2026.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: This is the TLDR for the third story.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: OP met a cute, funny guy named AJ on Tinder
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: and thought she'd found something great until she showed his
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: photos to her best.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: Friend, Kara.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: Kara instantly recognized him. AJ was already dating a girl
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: at her office, and she even had proof. A photo
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: of AJ and his girlfriend right there on her co-worker's desk.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: OP felt sick.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: The more OP pushed forward, the angrier Kara got until
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: her reaction became so bizarre and over the top that
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: OP started to wonder what was really going on. If
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: you want to know the full story, go watch the
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: full video.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: I think I remember this one. This one was some
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: goofy stuff.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: I kind of do. I kind of remember some of that.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead and read them, boys.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 4: I'm going to read these boys. Comment number one by
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 4: Mofo5157 says, the Kara story is wild because she's the
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 4: one that was gossiping, right? LOL, she connected the dots
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 4: to the co-worker and OP and then said she minds
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 4: her own business. Like, what?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just remember this story was Lionel Messi.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 4: Comment number two from Rebeculus RK says, to claim a
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 4: good person would mind their own effing business is obviously
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 4: a reflection of her own issues. If you see something,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 4: say something. All it takes for evil to win is
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 4: for good people to do nothing. She's hiding something, or
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 4: her moral compass is broken.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: Either way, don't take her advice.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: I'm seeing all of you right now, and I'm thinking,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: you're beautiful. Just the way you are.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 4: Comment number three by Nightshade189 says two reasons and they
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 4: aren't good. One, OP's friend was or is also hooking
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 4: up with that dude and doesn't want OP to find out. Two,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 4: the friend is also a cheater herself. And I wouldn't
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: be surprised if OP had any previous relationships she had
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 4: ended up being broken off. And it was due to
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 4: this friend. Cheaters often defend, stand by, or project when
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 4: others get cheated on and don't like when someone has morals,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 4: points out how wrong it is, and they don't like it,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 4: makes them realize they are a crappy person.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: Oh no, I gotta wreck it with my own badness.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, crappy people make me sneeze.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: And that's the end.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: He's allergic to BS.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: He's a crappy sneezer. Is that you? Did you just toot?
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: She just squeaked.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: I heard it. You heard it.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 3: I heard that as well.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: That's the end of those comments. And the end of
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: that episode. So, if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: We love you.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: And see you tomorrow.