Latest / Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED / Abby’s bartender confirmed her suspicions about her date....

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Abby’s bartender confirmed her suspicions about her date.... · Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's best music is Magic 94.9.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And welcome to another episode of Scotty and Abby Unfiltered.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: We finally get to have the update of the date
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: that Abby says was by far one of the worst.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: And I find it just so disappointing because you said
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: something yesterday to our boss that really has rung true.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: that the dates that you've gone on since coming to
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Tampa have just been absolutely atrocious.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe in hindsight, the ones I've been on
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: in the last year and a half, two years, have
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: also been bad. Because I can think of some ones
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: that I've been on in Atlanta that were pretty heinous.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: But it feels like the ones in Tampa don't need
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: to be bad. It's not like it's a personality issue.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: I can think of the guys I went out with
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: in Atlanta where the dates were really bad. And it's
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: maybe they were extremely, extremely introverted.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: And maybe.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: With another person, they were extremely, extremely extroverted and they
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: had way too much energy. But like, that's just them.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: It's starting to just feel weirdly sinister. There's an evil
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: aura happening in the dating scene in Tampa. And I
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: know I'm not the only one that feels it because
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: now that I posted about all my dating struggles on
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Tik TOK, I feel like I've ended up on Tampa
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: dating TikTok.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, what are the responses that you're getting there? Because
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I don't even see on TikTok much.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Well, when people comment and stuff on my videos, it'll
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: always be just like angry men being like, well, it's
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: probably because you only date men for their money. And
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: men with their money are really mean to women. I'm
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: just like, oh, my God, I hate the Internet.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Angry men on social media are actually the worst.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: It's so funny because when I knew I was going
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: to step into a public platform, like when I joined
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: my old show in Atlanta. And I knew that that
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: show had a really big audience. I really was prepared
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: for women to hate me, for women to call me
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: ugly from maybe it's like a place of discontentment. I
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: would say 95% of the mean comments I receive are
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: from men who know I would never date them.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's just so cruel to like some of the comments.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know who feels comfortable writing some
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: of these things. I'm like, yeah, like go mow your lawn.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Walk a dog, pet a tree, do something beside get
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: up on the comments and just spread that hatred.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: But people literally forget. I don't think they forget.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: They are just so caught off of this, this new
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: social media world that it's like, I could say whatever
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I want. I can let my coolest thoughts just bleed
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: out because I don't even know if the other person's real.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: They're real. Oh, like what the hell?
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Because you don't ever say that. Yeah. And to be fair,
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: like I don't expect people to to treat me like
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: they're friends in their life. But it is just crazy.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Some of the things that people will say to you
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: that I'm like, you would never comment that on a
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: friend's photo. And the only reason I say that is
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I think sometimes people will comment things even well intentionally.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: So and that's more of the problem I have with nuts. I.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: I hate, I feel like every four months I get
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: on a spiel about what it's like to receive weird
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: comments as a creator. It's really not the bane of
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: my existence, but ever, but I can go on a
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: tangent because it doesn't make sense to me. And what
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I mean by the hate comments, quote unquote, hate comments
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: that I received from women is that it's never like
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: some woman getting on a comment going, you're so ugly.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: You look so scrawny. You've lost too much weight. Like
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: it's never that it's always like a, a, a mean
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: comment about something I'm wearing or, How my hair is styled.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Something along those lines where they can cover it with
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: this blanket of, well, I'm just telling you because I
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: think you should know. I'm like, no, I think you
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: just want to make me feel like shit. Because if
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: you wanted me to make a change and you wanted
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: to be subtle about it, you could just DM me.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Not that I'm saying DM me. Don't DM me that
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: shit either. But at least I'll give you the benefit
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: of the doubt if you DM me. Whereas if you comment,
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: then I just think that's like I think you're just
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: being mean. Yeah.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: And like sometimes people say things and it's like they
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: try to make it look like it's kind of nice
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: or helpful. But, you know, when you read it out
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: loud that you're saying that to cut me. Yeah.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Like I am. I wore a.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Bathing suit to Columbia back in January and it was
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: like a high waisted white bikini. And I wore that
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: one specifically because I'm like, it's going to be day
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: four of my vacation. Don't really want to wear something
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: low rise. What's my highest rise bikini that I can
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: wear that I think is cute. And some, like all
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: the comments were like diaper. It's a diaper. Why are
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: you wearing a diaper? I'm like, clearly I look like
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I feel good in this outfit. Um, why it's so
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: unnecessary for you to make a comment about this right now.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I had the situation probably a year ago and it
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: was with the host here in the building. And, They
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: didn't mean it. Well, they did because they kind of
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: joke with me like this. But I was running. And obviously,
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: like when you're running, things bounce and move. Yeah. And
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: I remember he made a comment about like my chest
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: moving or bouncing.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, like your moves? Yeah, yeah, my moves. But for me,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: that is so psychologically fucked in my head. Yeah. Because
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I have worked so hard since I was in fifth grade.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: To not have anything move that obviously muscle moves, things move,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: you run, it moves, it things bounce. But that comment
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: alone forever changed the way I took videos. I had
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: pictures of myself from one single conversation that absolutely. I mean,
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: that's like you get used to it at the same time,
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: but it's very fascinating because I was running this past week.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, damn it, that comment still like pops
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: in my head.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Do you get overstimulated by your body?
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I like the feeling of it or the look of it.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Like, if something jiggles, do you feel... Does that bother you?
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Because I can relate to that as someone who prefers
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: being on the thinner side. Like, one of the reasons
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I like being thinner is because sometimes I just feel
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: overstimulated by my body. And, like, when you have less
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: of yourself, I'm like, I just feel less of me.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, 100%. Do you relate to that?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I'm vocalizing that because you said that. I'm like, I
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: relate to how that feels. Yeah.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: No, literally yesterday as I'm walking, like, I feel... I
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: don't know. I haven't stepped on a scale. I don't know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: but I feel heavier than I've been.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: And so I was walking and I was like, Oh,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I just, I don't literally don't like the way I
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: feel in my body. So I'm like, all right, it's
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: time to cut back again. Here we go on this
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: continuous pendulum. That's gain weight, lose weight back and forth.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: And again, I said this yesterday to my girlfriend, like
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I love myself, like I love my body, but I've
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: always had that standard of.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Like very rarely, very rarely do I look at it
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, Nice.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: It's never the standard that I truly want it to be.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: And I have to be honest with you as somebody
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: who is the most comfortable they've ever been in their
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: body since maybe high school. Like this is this. I
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: like looking like this. I feel like I'm finally at
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: a place where I'm like, yeah, that's how I want
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: to look. I still feel like that. You know, I mean,
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: it's just one of those things that really never goes
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: away because weight's constantly fluctuating. that it doesn't matter if
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: I put on half of a pound, it's still half
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: of a pound more that I feel like I notice.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: And it's literally the feeling inside. Like I felt like
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I was like a balloon yesterday walking.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: And sometimes it's just like, like yesterday, like after a
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: weekend and you're just holding all that water weight and
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: you feel that water weight. And because it's a new sensation,
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: it's like, oh my God, I know I look fine
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: and I feel fine. but I feel so gross because
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: I feel different than how I normally feel.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's a lot of us.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: A lot of us are walking away with those same
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: thoughts and feelings and we don't want to share them.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: We don't want to put it out there. Cause I
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: always had a fear of putting it out there. And
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: then like, if I said something about me, then other people.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Will notice it about me. But then I realized nobody
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: else gives a damn. Nobody else cares, but I care.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: And so it kind of is something that's always running
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: in the back of my head. So it's never like a,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I think some people see the things I post.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, here we go again. No, y'all.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I'm still just self-conscious every single time.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: So be kind in the comments. Yeah.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: So anyway, I lean into that mainly because I was
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: thinking about that this weekend with posting photos. And I'm
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: very conscious of not posting things that give body checking. Oh, yes.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Because I know I'll see women post things and it's
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: very clearly like a body check video to be like,
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: look at how– And there's nothing wrong. And there's clearly
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: something in me that if I'm getting triggered by something
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: that I shouldn't be bothered by. But when I see
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: like certain influencers, there's some girls I've had to unfollow
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: where just body check, body check, body check. I'm like, okay,
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: we get it. And I think because I know how
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: it feels to feel incredibly uncomfortable in your body that
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: I never want to make somebody feel uncomfortable just because
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: I feel good in my body. Does that make sense?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Anyway, so I'm bringing that up because I sometimes wonder
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: when I post a photo, like, Am I triggering someone
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: to feel uncomfortable?
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You know what? Actually, I saw your Instagram this weekend
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: and I was like, get it, Abby.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Like I literally thought to myself, like we were sitting
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: there going through and watching all the girls to get
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: away stuff.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: And we're like, oh my gosh. Like, I don't know. Again,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know how you're receiving this, but you look fantastic.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Like the workouts that you've been doing, it looks like
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: you've been crushing it.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: And it looks like it's just truly paying off. Yeah.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I've put in, I've been through the
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: ringer with my body. And so I think that's why
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: I'm leaning into this conversation is because I think about
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: a lot of the things that one day will trigger
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: other people that I'll have. Like, I hope one day
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I'm in a really happy relationship. And I know at
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: some point somebody is going to look at God willing.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: I actually don't know this, but God willing, someone will
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: look at my engagement photos and be like, oh, my God,
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: I just want that. But also it's important to point
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: out where you've struggled because, you know, for example, I've
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: been single my whole life. So I hope that when
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: people see photos of me either get in a relationship
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: or get engaged, it's not a feeling of jealousy or. Oh,
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I hate that she has that. And I don't, it's
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: more of like, okay, well she also, she suffered a lot.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: And so I bring that up about the body things.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I was thinking about that this week. Cause I'm like,
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: I'm in such a good place now. And I'm very
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: cognizant about what I post or don't post. And with
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: going to Italy in two weeks too, it's on my
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: mind a lot that I'm like, I want to celebrate
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: my body for the first time and feeling really, really
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: good in it after suffering for so long. But I
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: also never want to make somebody else feel like, I
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: don't know, I'm being showy about it. If that makes sense.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: It absolutely does. It's the hardest thing to try to
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: portray in a picture.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: So anyway, side tangent, let's get back into how horrible
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: men are. Um, so when you guys listen to this
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: in three years or four years, and I'm finally find some.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Loser, you'll know how important it is.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: You'll know that I suffered. Okay. I suffered too. I'll
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: just give the full recap. So I went on a
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: date on Sunday. That was so bad. I literally returned
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: to the bartender to be like, was that as bad
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: as I thought it was? I, a couple months back,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: this would have been in June. I matched with the
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: guy on hinge we set a date for Saturday the
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: Thursday before the date he texted me and just said
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: hey I want to confirm our date for Saturday I
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: said yep see you then Saturday comes around it's Saturday
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: morning I get a message from this guy who said
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: hey Abby I just want to let you know I've
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: got this other connection that I just feel stronger about
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: so I'm gonna have to cancel our date for tonight
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: that alone is not a bad text to send But
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: the problem is, is he confirmed Thursday night. Yes. So
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: like truly what happened on Friday? I mean, you go
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: out with some other chick and whatever that alone I
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: thought was kind of shitty. But I was like, whatever.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: So that happens. And then three weeks later, he texts
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: me and says, hey, Abby, that connection didn't work out.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: You want to get drinks?
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: And it just doesn't come across great because I can
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: look at that situation and be like, I can see
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: where he's trying to be. somewhat respectful but it.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: To me what everybody in dating wants to be chosen
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: correct and so i understand that it is absolutely okay
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: to date around i date around i talk to multiple
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: people at once like i'm not by any means trying
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: to say he did anything wrong by dating multiple women
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: i think a he should have just lied but b i.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Think it it.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Showed a lot of um it didn't show good social
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: skills to be like i'm gonna tell this girl i'm
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: literally canceling her on for somebody else and then come
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: back around because what you've communicated to me is there
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: was something about my profile that didn't interest you enough
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: to hang to hold out because if i'm excited about
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: somebody my hinge dms or whatever and i'm talking to
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: multiple people there might be i like i'm still excited
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: about that person even if there's four other dudes i'm
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: chatting with and so i'm just like you just weren't
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: interested enough in me which is fine but But I
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: don't want to go out with someone who's not interested
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: enough in me. Correct.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's exactly, that's self-respect.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: What, I'm going to go out now that you've picked me? Like,
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: the other ones didn't work out. So now, fine, I'm
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: just this.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm plan D. I don't want to be plan D.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: I want to at least be plan B. um you
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: want to be plan a i want to be planned
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: yeah that's the thing is everybody in a perfect world
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: wants to be plan a yes but at the very
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: least don't tell me i'm plan c so yes i
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: ignored that text because i could not believe the audacity
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: of him circling back around because if you're going to
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: tell me you're canceling on me for some other girl
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: you better be ready to sever my connection because i'm
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: done after that this is not the bachelor it's not love.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: Island you're not getting a rose.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: You're not getting a rose like we're not circling back
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: so anyway I delete the apps. I redownload the apps
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: like a week ago. And I'm literally at Goodnight John
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Boy on Friday, drunk off my ass. And I get
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: a message from him. I'm in the bathroom at Goodnight
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: John Boy. And he likes my profile and says, hey,
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: I still have your number. Would you like to go
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: on a date to it? Would you still like to
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: do our American social date? And then the other context is,
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: American Social is just not a place you ask out
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: a girl on a date, in my opinion. Would you agree?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I would absolutely agree.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: That is like turn up, like very bro-y, very fratty,
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: very young and chatty.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: It's a sports bar. To me, it communicated that he,
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: and maybe this sounds pretentious, but it communicated that he
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: either wanted to go to a place that he would
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: specifically feel comfortable in and not thinking about the girl.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: That's the first thing I thought. And then B, last
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: time I went to American Social, I'm like, wow, there's
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: a lot of people here. It does seem like, if
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: you're going to invite me out for a date at
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: American social, you want to be seen with me. And
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: then it kind of feels like, are you trying to,
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: is this now a thing where it's like, you want
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: to go out with the girl from the internet? Do
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Or be seen with the
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: girl from the internet.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Which is, it sounds wild, but at the same time,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: it's true. Like, and I say that because I have,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I'm sure we have both been in that position. People
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: have literally gone out with us because of.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: What we do. Yeah.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And it's very weird when it's like, it's actually out
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: there on the table. You're like, Oh, so like you
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: literally just want to be with me because of what
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Okay. So that was in the back of my head.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Mainly it was, you're not really thinking cognizantly about like
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: what a girl would want to do on a first date.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: That's mainly the other thing. But then in the back
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: of my mind, I was like, do you just want
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: to be like seen with a girl that you think
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: is cute?
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Anyway, it doesn't even have to be the girl from
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: the internet. You just want to be seen with me
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: by a bunch of bros.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Essentially. So I responded to him thanks to Chachapiti because
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I was not sober enough to, to come up with
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: something good. And it's so funny because I remember the
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: next day telling the girls on the trampoline getaway. I'm like,
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: I think I was so mean to him. I was
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: so snarky. I don't even think he's going to respond.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: But I basically said, considering you canceled on me last
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: time for another girl, you're going to have to give
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: me a really good reason to reconsider. Which I actually
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: think is a great response.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It really is.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: But when I read it, I was like, oh, my God,
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: is that too mean?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Like, no, I think that's pure honesty.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I think the problem with this guy so far is
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: like you're just again, being honest is extremely important. And
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: I see this thing on the internet all the time.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: There's a difference between honesty and transparency.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, be honest, but also like you don't.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Have to reveal all the details. I'm canceling our date
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: to go on another date.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Awkward. That's actually, okay, so I'll give you the difference
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: between the first text he sent me and the second
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: text he sent me because you telling me you're canceling
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: on me for another girl is transparency.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: And I didn't need that. What he gave me this
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: time around was honesty, and I actually appreciated it. This
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: is what he should have done. So when I said,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: you're going to have to give me a good reason
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: to go out with you, he sent me this long paragraph.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: I saw it. I literally shit my pants. I was like, oh,
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: my God, what did he say? It was so mean.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: And he said, and I'll just paraphrase it, something along
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: the lines of, understand why you would feel that way.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: I was talking to two other girls at the time
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: who I felt like I had a really good connection with.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: We were talking way more than we were because me
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: and him had just set up plans.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: No offense. I want to be your pen pal. Like
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: we got to meet in person and see for a
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: vibe and then I'll chat. But before I'm just like,
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: let's just set up the date. And so he's like,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: we hadn't really talked. And so I didn't really want
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: to go from two girls to three girls. So that's
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: why I cancel on you. I hope you'll reconsider something
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: along those lines. And I was like, I appreciate the honesty.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: It felt very earnest. It felt like he wasn't trying
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: to pull one over on me. And I thought it
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: was a good enough response to go out with him again.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that response. It's like you said, it's honest,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: but you're not being very transparent. I'm like, I don't
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: need to know what happened on those dates and how
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: they were and what you liked about them.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Just tell me. Yeah.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: So anyway, I said, totally fine. Let me know when
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: you want to go out. So long story short, we
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: make a plan for that Sunday. The girls were kind
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: of tired and I was like, listen, I'll go on
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: this date for one hour. I'll meet you guys for
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: dinner and we'll have really good conversation. Like we'll, we'll
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: get to debrief.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I think that there'll be a story at the end
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: of the day. Yeah.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Girls love that shit. I'm like, it'll be fun. I'll
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: be gone for 45 minutes. See you in a second.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: So I literally, I'm in a panic cause it's a
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: pouring all day. So I look disgusting and rained on
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: and everything. I have none of the right clothes to
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: wear on a first date. So I'm like running to
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: my friend's tour, my friend Tori's house. She gives me
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: all the undergarments I need. I'm like, rage getting ready
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: in the bathroom. I'm like, let's just say he's from Wisconsin.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not even sure I want to spend
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: holidays in Wisconsin. And I'm literally bending over backwards for
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: this dude who didn't even want to date me. And
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: he probably freaking sucks. And I'm going to have to
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: spend new years in Madison and that's cold. And you know,
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not even sure I, he's a blank and I'm
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: not sure I don't, I want to deal with that
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: kind of work schedule. I just, just jumping to all
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: of the worst conclusions and then showing up to the date,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: just looking like a perfect, polished princess, and in the
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: best mood. I'd had two Aperol spritzes and was ready
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: to go on a date. So I show up to
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Good Fortune in St. Pete. Cute spot, by the way.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: And I see him. I instantly give him all the
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: good energy. I really want to communicate to him that
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not mad and that I'm happy to be here. And...
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: Just from the get-go, it was the weirdest freaking energy.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: It was giving, you don't look like your photos. And
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: he's not saying this. I'm giving you the vibe.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: You don't look like your photos.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Who is this girl?
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: What's happening?
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: No.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: He wanted to be anywhere else. This guy would have
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: rather been in a war camp in Afghanistan than sitting
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: at this bar with me.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: You would have thought I had him at gunpoint the
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: way he was talking to me. And literally no effort
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: to launch this plane. Because I understand the first couple
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: minutes of a date are a little weird. You're sussing
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: each other out. It's a little uncomfortable and awkward what
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: you talk about. But there were so many awkward pauses.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: He would ask me a question and then there would
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: be no response, really. Like a response, but not like
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: an interested response. Just kind of like, oh, wow, that
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: sounds cool. Just nothing. The bare minimum. I'm like, am
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: I talking to an AI robot right now? What is
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: going on?
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the social skill isn't there to be able
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: to back and forth.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: But it wasn't even social because he seems like a
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: perfectly normal dude.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: Like it wasn't giving weird or like there was something
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: maybe amiss with him or he just seemed like a
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: normal guy. But a normal guy who physically– it seemed
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: like he was in pain having to talk to me.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: So– maybe 10 minutes into the date, the bartender picks
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: up on something that I say and me and him
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: start riffing. By the way, this guy is like not
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: a romantic option. He's like a gay bartender man. And
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: so we're riffing about something. We're giving my date so
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: much context and material to be able to ask follow-up questions.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: I have now shown that I want to have an
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: engaging conversation because now I'm really engaged with the bartender.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: And so he could easily jump in and have a
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: low stakes conversation. I'm giving this guy every chance to succeed.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: And it's just not happening. I'm giving him all my
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: best jokes. He's barely giving me a laugh. And it
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: just gets so uncomfortable to the point of about 40
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: ish minutes into the date. I go, I really don't
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: want to sit here any longer. I don't want to
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: sit here and feel weird and awkward and uncomfortable. I
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: got to go respectfully. So I say, you know, my
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: friends are waiting for me. Bartender, can I grab the check?
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: I grabbed the check. He doesn't even fight me on it.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: He just lets me pay. I stand up. I'm not
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: even quite sure I looked him in the eye. I
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: grabbed my purse and I say, thanks so much for
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: meeting me. It was great getting to know you. have
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: a great rest of your Sunday.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: And I bounce.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: And I was in such a rage. I feel like
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: I've been crashing out on all my dates, but I
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: was so mad. I immediately unmatched him. I ran back
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: to the Moxie hotel where I met the girls for
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: drinks and dinner. And I was telling them, Because this
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: is what women do. I was sitting there. I was like,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I was coming off super drunk
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: because I'd had operol spritzes all day. Maybe I smelled bad.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: Maybe it was too much energy. Is there makeup on
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: my face that doesn't look right? And they're all looking
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: at me and they're like, no, you seem fine. One
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: of the girls was like, we should go back to
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: that bar and talk to the bartender that you mentioned
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: and we should just see what his take was on.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: Because there was nobody at this restaurant. It's literally me,
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: this guy, and the bartender and a couple of waiters.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: So.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: We decide to go back to the bar and just
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: get a debrief from this man.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Like, what did you see?
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: So I walk, I walk in and the bartender's like you.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: And I look at the bartender and I go, you.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: And I sit down and I was like, that was
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: so weird.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: And he goes, yeah, that was a really freaking weird.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: And I looked at him and I said, did I
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: do anything wrong? Could you sense anything? And he goes, no,
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: you were literally giving him grade a energy and he
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: was giving you nothing. And I was like, it was
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: so weird. He wasn't really drinking. I finished my drink immediately.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: He like had a couple of sips of it. And
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: he's like, yeah, he downed the drink when you left.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Like after you left, he chugged the drink and then
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: finally left the bar. But he's like, yeah, he didn't
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: even bother to pay your drink. He also started mentioning
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: some of the jokes that I told on the date.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: And he's like, the thing you said about the crusty
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: white dog was so funny. And he didn't even laugh.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I know that joke always lands. Yeah.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: At least fake.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: A laugh or smile or I don't know, just give
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: me anything. But I was giving him such good material
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: that I'm like, dude, this is a free comedy show
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: and you're not even you're not even paying me in engagement.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: So while we're sitting there in the middle of the
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: state debrief, my phone pings and it's a text from
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: this mofo. And he said, hey, Abby, it was so
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: great getting to know you. Would love to go out
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: with you again if you're down. And I'm sitting there
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: and I'm just thinking there's no way this guy had
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: a good time. He seemed miserable. He seemed so miserable
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: and uncomfortable at this date, just giving me absolutely nothing.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: And so I responded and I really tried to have
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: some tact, but I basically said, hey, listen, I think
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: it's only fair that I'm honest with you, that I
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: give you honesty.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Because if I gave you transparency, I would tell you
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: I'm sitting at this bar right now talking shit with
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: you to the bartender.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: That's transparency.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Don't do it. No, no, no, no.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: But honesty is, I felt like this was a really
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: one-sided conversation and I just don't think it's a match.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: I wish you the best, but I'm not interested, essentially. Mm-hmm.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: And he gave me a great response back. Like, he's
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: a totally normal dude. That's what I don't get about
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: this whole situation. This guy is a totally, seemingly upstanding,
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: solid dude, and here he is fumbling the bag. I'm like,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: I would have easily gone out on a second date
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: with you had we had any semblance of a conversation.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: That's what's weird about it. And I'm trying to run
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: through my head. I'm like, what could it have been?
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Is it, one, maybe he's like an extreme introvert, and
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: he just has a hard time of either thinking quick,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: responding with energy, bouncing back and forth.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: No, because here's the thing. I was asking him about
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: his job. I was like, what's the favorite thing about
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: what you do? And he goes, well, the conversations I
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: get to have with people at blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: And I'm not going to out him on, like, what
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: he does.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, so you do like talking.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Like, you can. You have the ability to. And he
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: just wasn't responding to, like, anything. And maybe, like, little responses. But, like,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I think one of the key things is To have
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: somebody that could hit it back.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Boom.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: It's like playing tennis. You throw something out there, they
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: throw it right back.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: That's the chemistry of a relationship. But it's very fascinating.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: And the other option, I think, is maybe he was
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: extremely nervous. Like, based off of not being able to
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: respond and then downing a drink at the very end.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: But I'm like, if you're nervous, you should have had
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: a bed before. Like, I'm not encouraging you to drink. But,
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, I... Everybody's nervous going on a first date.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Correct.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: And I understand that it is nerve wracking to ask
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: a girl out, but it was so painful that it
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: wasn't even giving I'm nervous, but I'm trying. It was
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: giving disinterested.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: It was giving.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Overly not bland is maybe a mean word but it
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: was painful like sitting there was actively uncomfortable.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Or like the silences are just feeling like an eternity.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah the silences were so bad to where I'm like
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: there's just no energy from the other end that I'm
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: like I don't even really know how to exist in
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: this environment to the point where I'm like I don't
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: even really want to I started withdrawing because I'm like
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: why am I going to give you a great comedy
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: performance if it doesn't even seem like you want to
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: be on the stage.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Did you ever think about, like, calling it out?
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: Um, I.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Because it would be uncomfortable, but I'm always just curious
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: by people, like, hey, like, you know, I don't know, why,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: are we just not clicking here?
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Like, what's the energy? Because in their perspective, it might
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: be completely different. Like, I feel comfortable.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, naturally. I think I thought about it, and
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: that's not something I'm averse to doing, because I'll do
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: that at any social situation. Like, I'm more than happy
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: to call out something, but I think in the back
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: of my mind, I was like, I'm not going to
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: see this guy again. What am I fighting for? I
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: think I got to a point in the date where
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm just going to start giving bare
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: minimum because I'm giving you the most energy I can
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: give you. And if you're not being receptive to me
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: and what I feel like is my natural personality, then
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: we're just not a match. And there's just no point
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: in me going, what's going on here? Because I don't
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: want to make him feel more insecure.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: That's true. If it is an insecurity thing.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think in the back of my mind,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, he might be nervous, but I
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: think me trying to shake things up and be like,
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: what's wrong with you? It would just make him more nervous.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: I remember there's movies back in the day.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I can't think of any of the titles, but like
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: a dating coach kind of deal where.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: It's like somebody needs to come along.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: And I think for a lot of I'll speak to
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: just guys, but even a couple of the things here,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: it's like the honesty versus transparency, but also the end
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: of like not paying for it. And that I would
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: say maybe four years ago, I would have argued like
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: he doesn't need to pay.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: It's the first. Now I argue on the side of like, sir,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: you literally. Had me leave my group.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I left my friends to be with him for an hour.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: You know, you asked me out. And I remember a
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: friend said this to me and I argued with them
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: three years ago. But they were right as I look
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: back on it. If you ask me out, like you're
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: the one that's paying. That's the respectable thing to do.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: And my eyes and my opinion.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: But also it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Just that is such an easy, clear communication nowadays of
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: like most people do take that as you're interested or not.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: You simply not paying me. is a sign that, okay, yeah,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: you're on the same.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Page I am.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: When he didn't say anything, I was like, oh, this
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: guy fucking hates me. And now that I think about it,
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: I've only, I've paid for every date in Tampa, except
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: for one.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: That's crazy.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Like, even if you don't click, even if you know
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: it's not a match, it is the respectable thing to do.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: One person needs to pick up the check, and it's
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: the one that initiates the date.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think if you ask a lady out,
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: you should pay. But at the end of the day, like,
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: this is not the hill I'm going to die on.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: I don't want to see him again, so I'm, I
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: think the reason why I paid for all these dates
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: is I'm fine with it, but also no one has
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: pushed back.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: Well, again, that's what I find so funny.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Only one guy has pushed back, yeah.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: And when he pushed back, did you let him pay?
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, whatever. He goes, well, when you're
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: with me, you don't pay for things.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: And I go, okay, whatever.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: It's too late in the date for you to start schmoozing.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: He picked up his game too late in the evening.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: So I don't know if in the last year or
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: so I've just come off more intimidating, but it is
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: just weird. I feel like I'm going out with these
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: guys who I feel like aren't... And this isn't me
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: knocking on them, but I'm like, I can't even find
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: someone to feel like I can play a good mental
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: tennis match with. Does that make sense?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: A hundred percent.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Like I'm sitting at these bars and feeling like I'm
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: just freaking slam dunking, slam dunking, slam dunking, slam dunking,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: and kind of not getting the same energy back.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: And if that's what the bartender is literally saying, then
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: it's not you. It's like, okay, I'm not crazy. Like
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: that conversation would have been easy. Had there been a response.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You're throwing things out.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: He was like, there were so many awkward pauses. I'm like,
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I know. It was so weird.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: And you can just feel it.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: It was just sitting there in the silence of like, yeah,
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: you don't even you run out of things to say.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Like, I don't I don't know what else you want
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: me to do. I'm throwing out everything and nothing works.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: So deeply uncomfortable.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Are you going to. So are the apps like completely
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: out now? Because that was another.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Well, I the problem is I always bamboozle myself into
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: getting into more conversations and I don't really know how
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: to get out of them.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Which, again, it's so crappy because we do say this,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: and I know it's so exhausting of hearing, but eventually
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: one's going to click. And it's like, what arena is
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: it going to click in? Is it going to be
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: a hinge or is it going to be an outside
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: and a random event or a party with friends?
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: We don't know. But it's like doing the lottery. And
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: at least this one's free. I know a lot of
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: these guys pay. I don't know.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: The problem is it's not a free lottery because I've
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: been paying for every single one of these dates except
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: for one. Every single date I paid for except for one.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: It is crazy, even just the conversation. Like, forget a
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: date aside. Forget, like, just having a soulmate.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Just talk to somebody. Like, that's the part. I'm like,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: you can just sit at a bar and talk to somebody.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: That's what's crazy is all the conversations aren't even normal.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: I had the guy who did pay for me. He
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: asked me if he could feed me steak. I'm like,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: that's not. It's not normal. It's not a normal thing
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: that you say to somebody.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Not on a first date. What the heck?
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, I had that. The one right before the
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: soccer match, that was a normal date. I would consider
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: that the most normal date I've been on. I still
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: have to pay for myself.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: And then he asked me out again, and I think
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: we just kind of both mutually ghosted. And then the
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: two dates before that, one left me after I called
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: my Uber and didn't even say goodbye. I was like, okay,
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: that's so messed up. And the other was also a
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: really painful conversation, like could not hold a conversation back
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: and forth, and I paid for that date.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: When you're going out with some of our coworkers here,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and like you're hitting like the younger scene, how is
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: that versus like the dating apps? Is it easier or
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: guys better at conversations as you guys are like going
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: out to.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: What is it? Upper deck?
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Um, yeah, well, when I go out like with Miranda
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: or something, I just get hit on by the 22
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: year olds.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: So, but their conversations are good.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, the 22 year olds love me. Like, honestly,
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: I should have gotten the nose job years ago and
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I couldn't really figure out the health
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: stuff because, I mean, I recently lost a ton of weight.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, I don't know. I'm skinny and I
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: have a cute nose now. But unfortunately, it happened way
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: too late in the game. Yeah.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Gosh.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: What would be the qualifications for a 22 year old
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: that actually.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: Make it like none of them? I'm not dating somebody
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: who's under the age of realistically 27. Yeah. But I
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: know I'm a big proponent. Like, I do think when
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: you're in the same age as somebody, you just. you
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: just click with them better. Like I like the idea
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: of us having similar life experiences. Like we listened to
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: the same music in college or we watched the same
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: Disney channel, original films. Like I don't want to feel a,
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: like somebody's mommy. And I don't know why I do
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: tend to attract a certain type of guy who has
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: either mommy issues or wants to be taken care of. Um,
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: or maybe that's just men in general. I don't know. But, um, Yeah,
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: I'm very turned off by that to where I would
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: rather be with somebody older.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think that makes a lot of sense
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: based off of everything that I see. It's like you
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: should want somebody that's not wanting you to take care
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: of them. It should almost be, if not equal, the
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: other way of like, yeah, like don't you want to
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: be the one that's like providing and helping and the
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: secure masculine one in this relationship?
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: You want me to take care of you? That's awkward.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: So when you're 29, dating someone who's 22, it feels
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: like I'm dating like a ninth grader. Like I'm a
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: senior in high school and this is a ninth grader.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Like that's what it feels like cerebrally to me.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think for some people it's like, well,
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: the difference is like once you hit like the 30s,
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: 39 to 31, a whole different game because now you
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: guys are both established adults.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: After like 28, I feel like that's when age gaps
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: get less not weird. It's not the right word, but
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I do feel like 28 is a pretty pivotal age
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: to where you've really established yourself as an adult. Like
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: you've been out of college for six years. Maybe you
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: had a grad school program and you've been out of
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: that for a little bit. Like, 28 kind of feels
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: like a good equalizer. But anything before that, it's like,
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: you're a baby.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: You're a baby bird. You're figuring it out.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: You're literally just bumbling through the 20s, which is what
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: it's supposed to be. But I think for guys, I
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: wonder if they just want that because they're so uncertain
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: in that time frame.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Like, it's so rocky.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: That's somebody a little older. That's stability. Yeah. Oh, at
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: least I can lean on you because you're an adult. Like,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: you know how to do these things.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Not saying that's right.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: It was a little weird.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Such a turnoff. I'm like, you do not talk about
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: me that way. It's so gross.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: So is there anybody coming up like in the near future,
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: any dates lined up or planned?
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: There's two dudes I'm talking to, but it's very much
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: like this is an entertainment thing, I think. I mean,
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: maybe it'll be great. Who knows?
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Who knows?
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: But very much just kind of like I'm going to
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: go out with them and then I'm going to delete
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: the apps before I go to Italy and then I'll
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: probably just join a convent. Oh, there you go. Yeah.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: When you're in Italy, so you don't go on India.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Because I had friends we traveled to.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: When I traveled to Spain, I had a friend that
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: hopped right on Tinder. A whole different world.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: They're gay. Yeah. But it was wild how quick they
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: went on a date.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: It was like, we landed. All right, guys, see you later.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Going on a date. Would that be something that you
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: would do or just no?
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: No, I got to focus on my ladies.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? And listen, if I ran
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: into somebody at the bar, then it becomes like a...
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: In the same way that this was a fun girl
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: thing this weekend... Then it's a fun girl thing that
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: everyone feels like they're a part of. But me going
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: out of my way to date guys while I'm on
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: a big girls trip feels a little icky. I agree. Icky,
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: sticky wicky to me.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what? I don't know. I want to
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: say I'm sorry, but I don't know how I'm apologizing
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: for the guys in Tampa.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: There's just generally just there's no solution. I think it's
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: just they all need to go to therapy for their
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: mommy issues. Or I'm not going to find someone until
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: my 40s because I got to wait for these 22
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: year olds if I can grow up.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when they're 30, there you go. Six years.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: My dating life is going to be crazy.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: You can always leave comments on the podcast. I see
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: a lot of you are starting to do it on Spotify.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you for those. Rate, subscribe so you don't miss
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: out on the episodes, and we'll have more tomorrow.