Latest / Dear Chelsea / Find Your Person with Yanise Monét

Transcript

Find Your Person with Yanise Monét · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, you have a baby with you?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, the baby is in the house.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: I have Bernice on my lap because we have a
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: workman in the house, and she I think he hates
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: men pretty much. I don't know where she got that from.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: What a surprise, Like mother, like daughter.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: No, I don't hate men. Might not be saying that
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: it's affecting my ability to get penetration.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Chelsea loves men in all the senses.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: I do love men.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: I do.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: I'm having actually a very good time with some men.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I'm glad about that for you.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of flirtations going on at home
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: abroad anyway, Doug is arriving, Casey is driving him up
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: on Thursday he arrives. Doug is so fucking I already
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: talked about Doug. I don't want to be one of
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: those people who bangs on about my dogs, but he
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: is going to be. I'm gonna be really, it's gonna
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: ruffle my feathers. Because this means basically, Bernice has an AirTag,
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: like an Apple AirTag on her so I can just
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: let her go out and then I go find her.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: You know, when I feel like it's ten minutes later, out, Yeah,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: because she doesn't go anywhere. She just like peas and
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: then looks at the house and then looks at the trees.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: But Doug is gonna be a fucking maniac, like he
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: is going and I already get stopped by Bernie's you know,
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: it was so cute. There was like this group of
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: like eight twenty five year old guys renting a house
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: down the street from me, and when I was walking
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: with her, they were like, oh my god, look at
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: that little dog bear and they were and I was like,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: it's so nice when men that age love dogs and
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: noticed a dog, like they all stopped and they all
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: pet her. I was like, you guys are so cute. Yeah,
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: it was really sweet. But I get so much attention
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: from Bernice. I'm like, oh, Doug is going to be
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: a nightmare because everyone's gonna stop us about this guy.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: I mean, he is too good looking.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: He is gonna have all the energy. And Bernie has
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: a personality a bit like a Xanax.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Like, yeah, she has taken azanax. You probably took one
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: of mine. And but also Doug is gonna have to
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: because he's a puppy and he's eight months old and
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: this is going to be a new house and he's
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: gonna be have driven with Casey. He's been shuffled around
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: a bit, you know, to try to get him up here.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: He's been with my Bell. She's tried to, you know,
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: hypnotize him. I'm sure, but he he's going to have
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: to go out a lot, and that is not my
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: strong suit taking the dogs out. Like I just at
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: some point last season, I just started putting peepats out
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: on the balcony and let them just go pee out there.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, I'm like living in a
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: trailer park basically. But yeah, I'm really excited about my
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: new family. It's just my dream dog. It's arrived. He's
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: my baby. I love him. I had a great ski
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: day yesterday. I'm about to go hop off of this
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: after we're done and go skiing again. And I am
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: just really really and I've been writing my book and
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: it's finally coming together. I got so much work done
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: with my ski buddy, Kelly. Her daughters are twins and
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Katie and Jesse. They basically move in with me for
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: winter when I move up here. They call me Dad.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: And Jesse and I had like a work study program
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: this weekend and I got more writing done. I wrote
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: for six straight hours and organized everything. I think this book.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: When I am ready to announce the title and the
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: release date of the book, people are going to be
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: really I think this is going to be really something
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: special that is fantastic.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Now, Okay, so your writing process are you like, I
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: gotta wait for inspiration. I gotta sit down see if
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: the inspiration comes.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: No, I just have to a lot time and sit
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: down and just start writing, because the only way to
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: keep writing is to start writing.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: You just have to start.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: And then, like I was writing this book, but there
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: was like a joyfulness missing in the writing of the book.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: The way I lived my life wasn't coming through the page.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: And the page is about how to live this joyful
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: experience of life. And so I don't know what happened,
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: but something shifted. Actually, I've been working with that new
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: therapist and I think she shifted some stology in me. Yeah,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: because we do these kind of exercises and she's like, Okay,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: we're gonna get rid of that old stuff, like let's
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: move into this new stuff that you want. And yeah,
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: so I'm yeah, I feel good. Yeah, you know how
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: much I love Whistler. It's just I never want to leave.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And you're so restored there, like you you are getting
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: positive vibes and you're able to put out positive vibes.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: But when you're like exhausted, you just won't have anything
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: to give, you know.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, an empty vessel. So anyway, OK, So as
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: a great follow up to last week's episode, we have
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: the other half of Sam Jay which is called Yah Yah.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I actually have a follow up from Sam's episode from
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: one of our people who wrote in, and it's pretty
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: juicy Chelsea.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Oh oh oh is it about ya ya?
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: No?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, but it is about cheating. And oh someone
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: had written in about her sister's husband was running around
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: and had this work bestie that he had spent the
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: night with, but he said they were just friends sort
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: of thing. It was a female work bestie. Well Elle
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: wrote in with a follow up. She said, Hi, there,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: wanted to provide an update on my sister in law
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: and her husband regarding his inappropriate relationship with his coworker.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I appreciated all your feedback and advice because it definitely
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: validated the way I felt. So update. It all came
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: out a two year affair with the girl plus sex
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: worker and a few other casual one night stands here
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: and there, and guess what, My sister in law has
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: yet to leave despite her last straw being broken. He's
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: totally playing the victim, and I don't think understands her
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: need to heal. He's in his own sex therapy and
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: they're indiscernment counseling, And at first we were all very
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: emotional about it, but as of lately, we've learned that
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: she does need to step away on her own and
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: deal with this in her own way. Even if it
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: does waste more time for her, She's only going to
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: be ready when she's ready. It sucks, it hurts, but
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: it's their experience, even though I'm hoping she finally does
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: gain this self worth to leave. Thanks again, Elle. Okay,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, wow, so update not great for sister in law.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: But now we know therapy. It's so hard for me
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: to take that seriously, even though I know it's a
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: real thing. You know, it's just like sex therapy. Really,
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: you can't keep your fucking dick in your pants. I mean, honestly,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know what's wrong with people. I know, yeh,
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: control yourself, I know.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: And this is like sociopath behavior, like I know many
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: of that. Gross. You can't fix that. You can't fix that.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well, anyway, let's move on to Yah Yah. I
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: don't think she needs any introduction. You're going to understand
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: what I'm talking about when you listen to this interview,
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: because this girl is one hot potato I would like
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: to introduce the world to. If you don't know of
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: her yet, you will find out about her at some point.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: We spoke about her in her absence when I had
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Sam Jay on the podcast, right, Catherine, we talked about
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: her significant other, who is very, very significant. Her name
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: is Yaya and she is a fucking she is trouble
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: with a capital fucking tea. Okay, and now here she is.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: She's sitting across from me. We're in New York City.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Welcome to New York City. You live here?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you? Yes, I do live here.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: So actually you should say to me, well, welcome to
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: New York Tell thank you welcome.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: I would have welcomed you if I knew you were here.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Thank you, yah Yah. That's a dig, because that's a
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: dig because she just said, oh, how long you here for?
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: It would have been nice to know. And I said
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: before we got on air, I'm sitting right across from you,
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: so obviously this is you knowing anyway, that is true,
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: But this is the kind of shit I'm dealing with
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: with this woman. And I met Yah Yah. Well I
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: met you like at the Montreal Comedy Festival. I think
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: was the first time I met you.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like three years ago.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And what stood out with her eyelashes because they
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: and her nails are equally there the same length. Her
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: eyelashes you could use, as you know, the flippers when
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: you go in swimming, like that is true, you could
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: swim with those eyelashes and her nails. So when I
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: first met her, I was like, oh, this woman is
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: trouble and I should just, you know, watch myself. And
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: I wasn't wrong. My instincts were right. And then she
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: came to Myorca with a whole group. We had like
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: a comedy week in my Orca with Sam and Fortune
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: and Jack's and Jamie Greenberg and a bunch of people,
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: and that was really fun. And then we really bonded
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: and you guys were planning on kind of leaving the
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: whole time that you were there in case we had
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: an out right explain that.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: Please, Well, I mean it is kind of it's kind
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: of scary, you going on vacation with people you don't know.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: So we had it out.
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: We had an option to out if we didn't want
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: to be there anymore, but we ended up liking you.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: But you said scary, you're leaving out the white part.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, right, well it was a group of whites. I mean,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with that.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: But also it is kind of intimidating when you're the
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: only blacks there. You don't know what's gonna happen. So
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: I didn't know if our lives are going to be
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: in danger. And also you kept trying to take me hiking.
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: Why the fuck did you keep trying to take me hiking?
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: Because it's good exercise. It's not everything that I was suggesting.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: We're activities that were going to enhance enhance your life.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: You were even trying to make Sam go hiking with you.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: If you recall, yeah, we do together because I wanted
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: to do it together.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna go wid out through alone.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, but I'm in then almost a number, like
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I'm a safety number. You think I'm gonna be the one.
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: No, it was like six against two, so it was
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: like we had to I had to keep the number.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: I had to branch off from the white people. And
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: you were also you would have go into the water
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: with me at night. You wouldn't get.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Into a I was kind of spooky.
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: Okay, we'll explain that you can't swim at night. That's wild.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Why not.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: It's the ocean and I'm black.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Uh huh.
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: I'm not getting in a boat with you at night.
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: That doesn't make sen to me. I'm not doing it that.
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: This didn't make That didn't add up.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: But you let Sam get in a boat with me.
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: I was very fearful of that and I told her
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: not to, but you core host her.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: In to doing that. She she you influenced her all week.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh really, Yeah, okay, okay, this is another Yeah,
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: this is another thing I forgot to mention when Sam
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: was on. Sam shows up in my Orca and asks
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: what drugs I have, And of course I have some,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: but I was running low because I was on my
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: third week in Mayorca, and I had twenty different people
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: through my house before this group came.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: So this was the the best group.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Well, okay, you were a great group. I can't say
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: who the best group was. Okay, No, we know who. Okay.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: Well everyone thinks they're the best group, and that's fine
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: with me. I would never even think about trying to
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: be the best group. Okay. But Sam wanted demanded drugs,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: she needed them, and then when I gave her what
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: I had, it wasn't Yeah. Yeah, goes, look at you,
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Look at you influencing my boo. You did because she
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: got really fucked up. No, I'm a I am a supplier.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I'm a hostess. You were Frank Lucas of my Orca.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: That's who you are. You are Frank Lucas my Orca.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: I was being a very good hostess. And every time
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Sam went a little bit off the rails, which is
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: almost every day.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well know, you're a great hostess. Thank you.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Yah Yah would look
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: at me and try and lay blame on me.
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: No, you were great hostess. You were just a pusher,
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: but you are a great right.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I do want people to do drugs. I do like that,
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: you know. I just feel like so many people have
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: untapped resources and creativity within them that once they do
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: the right drug that they find the right thing. And
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: it's not for everybody. You know, drugs are not for everybody.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: I want to say that as a medical professional on
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: this on this what that's why? Is that funny?
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: No? No, no, I trust you.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, as a medical professional on this podcast, I would
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: like to say that drugs are not for everyone, but
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: they are for me.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, all drugs aren't for me.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: And you don't like, Oh you know what I loved?
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Tell us this story. This is a good drug story.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Would you mind telling it? The one where you saw
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: the video of yourself? Oh wow, we're going Well, we
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: don't have to. We can go to a different area
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: if you're not comfortable.
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: Talking about it with that. No, I just saw myself.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: Me and my friends used to like in our early twenties.
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: It's a long time ago, so let's put this on
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: the record. We would recreationally pop up pill or two.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: So what's the drug called though.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Flex areal? Flexireo was my drug choice.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, I thought it was something else. Oh that's like
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: a muscle relaxer.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like flexireal.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: But it was like, yeah, you can't take that and
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: go out.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: No, but we were drinking too, and I think some
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: of this stuff was opioid based.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I think flexieral is opioid based.
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: So like when I saw a video of like, I
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: thought I was just chilling and having a good time
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: and having fun. But then my friends played a video
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: back of me and I was not off at the table,
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: and it was just like, that's what that Wasn't you.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: Thought you were crushing it. You were out thinking you
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: had a blast. You're like, last night was fun. It like,
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: you need to see a video of yourself if you
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: think you were having it. And it was cute.
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: So I was just like, I want to look cute
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: at all times, so when I did look cute, I
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: couldn't do it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: You look really cute right now?
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you?
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Shoot later, I want to talk about your relationship with Sam.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Went about it.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, so you're from Atlanta, Yes I am. Okay, you
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: should be on the Real Housewives of something.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: You know what.
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: They tried to get me on the Real house Oh
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: my god, they did. Yeah at least was like eons ago,
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: and why did you fucking do that?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't have money like that, so I just felt
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: like it would just been too fraudulent.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Too.
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: Fargs like I owned a business. It was just like
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: it wasn't lucrative, but you would have gotten down to business.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: With the Yeah, I would have.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: And I think that's what the world wants to see,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: because if you were on one of the housewife franchises,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: I would watch that fucking show, would you, Yeah, because
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: I know what would go down. I saw the video
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: stories if Sam Sam Jay's on tour right now? Yeah,
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: yeah's on tour with her, which means she is calling
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: people out in the audience, screaming and yelling at anybody.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: What was the last incident that happened when you had
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: to remove one of the.
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: I didn't remove her, Security removed her. She was being
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: a nuisance. She was being loud and belligerent and drunk,
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: and I just asked her to be quiet, and she
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: didn't want to listen, so she had to get out
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: of here.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: And then did what did she say to you? Didn't
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: she say something to you?
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: She was like some lady, some black lady told me
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: to be quiet. I just walked about. It was me.
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: It was me, girl, I told you to shut the
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: fuck up. It was me, shut the fuck up. And
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: she was like, I can't believe you said that, but
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: I had asked her twice. The first time, I was
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: very pleasant and I was excuse me, ma'am. Can you
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: bring it down a little bit? Like she was on
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: her phone, she was watching a basket a baseball game.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: It was just wild. I fucking hate that so much.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I hate that so much.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: It's just rude because she was disturbing the people around her.
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: Like literally, when she got kicked out, she was with
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: about twenty people. Nobody gave a fuck because they wanted
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: her to leave too, but they didn't know how because
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: she was ahead of HR, so they felt like their jobs.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the head exactly, ironic. She was the worst.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: So yeah, okay, So bring us back to your relationship
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: with Sam, because you guys have been together for a
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: long time. Yeah, and we're gonna be giving relationship advice
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: on this show, okay, potentially in this episode. So I
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: want you to walk us through the status of your
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: relationship over the years, because it's been You've had turbulent
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: times and Sam loves when I bring up her cheating,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: So we can talk about that, or we could talk
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: about just the genesis.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Well, what do you want to start with? In the beginning.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Start at the beginning, because it's a beautiful love story,
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: and I think it's it gives other people, you know,
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: I think other people probably have similar relationships where they
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: love someone and then they're not together, and then give
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: them hope to come back together.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: That's true. I think our versions are kind of different
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: from each other.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: No, they're definitely different, because the two of you couldn't
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: be more office.
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think our versions of the story is different.
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: But we met in Atlanta, she says. I met her
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: in the club, but I don't remember meeting her because
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: our friends knew each other. So on the way home,
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: their car broke down in front of my house. So
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: I saw them and they looked hot and thirsty because
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: they would trying to change a tire. So I just
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: asked if they needed help, if they wanted to sit
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: inside before the tow truck came.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: And that's how its very nice of you, Yaya. It
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: must have been before nine pm when you did that.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Actually it was probably around one am. Oh oh, so so.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: It must have been another flips to do and all
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: that happens.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so we eventually went out on a date.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: Did she tell you the first time we went out
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: a date, well, the first time I went out a date,
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: Sam left her.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: She left her money.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: Apparently she didn't have any money, so I had to
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: I left my wallet because I knew I wasn't paying.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: Of course not. I mean, no, no, you're not gonna pay.
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: Hello, that's what I thought too, But I ended up
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: having to pay because Sam couldn't buy me my slice
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: of pizza. Oh, so I had to call my friend like, hey,
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: can you go to my house and go get my
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: wallet and bring my wallet to me?
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: So he was like, aren't you on a date?
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, yeah, bitch, I am on a date,
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: but come bring me my wallet. So from that day
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: for it, he didn't like Sam at all.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: He hated or would.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I, But I loved her. She was so cool.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: But I'm surprised that you were okay with that because
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: that doesn't seem like something you're down with.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: But she was so charismatic, she was so funny, she
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: was so sweet.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know why. She just won me over.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: And then what happened. She fucked me right after the pizza.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: So that's like, okay, anyone who's listening that would be like, Oh,
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: I had a date who didn't have any money, and
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: then the next thing you do is go home to
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: fuck that person.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I knew if she was broke, then
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: she probably had some good, good moves.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Well, because I remember you guys having sex on my terrorists.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: We did not have.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: We did not.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: We did not.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they did did. They were up every night till
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: five am. We were talking and talking and then I yeah,
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: and then when y'all, y'all wants it, she needs to
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: get it right away, and then she goes.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: But we did not have. Till you hears, we did
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: not have.
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: They had sex in their bedroom. Yeah, you probably the terrorists.
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: I'm sure I probably would have, but we did not.
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: That would have been a good memory, though. But your
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: window was like right there, yeah exactly. Can you imagine.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: I would have been like, hey, guys, can keep it down,
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: can you keep it down please? Okay, So then you
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: guys were together for how like a period of time?
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we were together for a minute, and then I
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: did some shady shit.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: This is this SPAN's like seventeen years, right, Yeah, yeah,
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: seventeen there's a relationship.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so we were young. So at the time Sam
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: says we were together. I say we weren't together. We
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: were dating other people. But she says that we were exclusive.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: So this is where it gets cloudy. But also this
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: was like seventeen sixteen years ago. So I say that
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: we were freely dating other people. She says that we
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: were committed and I dated someone else and then she
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: found out about it, and then so we stopped talking.
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: And then I started, well, we were always friends about
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: this process, so it was like she really, we really
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: didn't stop talking. We just stopped talking in that capacity.
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: So then she started dating other people.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: But what was that like wasn't that tinged with like
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: jealousy and feelings?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Absolutely?
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: Because every time she started dating someone that she would
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: go out on dates and now we didn't care. But
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: then when she would start like repeating the dates, it
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: was like, that's a problem. You're going out with the
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: same person again. So then I would have to break
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: that up. So then it was just a lot of
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: back and forth. It was a lot of that you
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: break that up. Oh, I would just go see her
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: fuck that up. She cut me off completely cold turkey
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: because she said I was toxic, and then she ran
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: off and got married and blocked me from everything.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: Why did she think you were toxic?
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: I was in Atlanta, I was in black Gay Mecca,
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: so I was outside.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Okay. Also I had money, so it was It's just
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: like I was in a free for all. So it
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: was fun. I was having fun.
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: And there's a lot of pussy, not a lot of
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: well no, not a lot of pussy.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: But I was.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: I bet you what about guys? Were you feeling around
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: with guys at all? Just no, I'm you've been done
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: with men for a long time. Yeah, well yeah I
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: was done with men.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, basically I want I'm done.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, So you broke up and then what what drew
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: you back together?
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: She got married fast forward, like a year or two later,
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: after she's been buried for Yeah. We were still friends though,
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: but I did not pursue her. She didn't pursue me.
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: She was really into her marriage, and so I was like, Okay,
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: if this is where you want to go, girl, that's fine.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: But you know, were devastated.
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: I was devastated, but I always knew that we were
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: going to be together, so I wasn't really pressed.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: You really believe that even though she was married to
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: someone else. Yes, because a normal person yah yah when
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: that happens when the other person gets married, would be like, oh,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: I guess our relationship is over.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't think that at all.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: And now that I'm watching this show she put me
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: onto this show what is called scandal. Now that I'm
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: watching Scandal, I kind of understand it because I always
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: knew it was just like that's my person.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Like I knew she was being crazy.
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: I knew she was being wild, and I also knew
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: I was getting my karma back from the food I
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: was doing. And also when she wanted to commit and
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: settle down, I told her no, who was so like, Okay,
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: I get it, but play this out. You know this
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: is not gonna work. So I'll let you do this
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: and be dumb and then when you're ready, come home.
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: And that's what happened. Because she was in New York.
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: She ended up doing New York Comedy Festival. And I
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: was in New York at the same time doing Victoria's
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: Secret Fashion doing Victoria's Secret and New York Fashion Week,
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: so we were in New York at the same time.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: So I hit her up and I was like, hey,
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: do you want to grab a drink so we could
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: see each other and talk because we haven't spoken really
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: since she had gotten married. And we met at the
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: seller a matter of fact, and I was like in
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: twenty and fifteen or twenty fourteen, and we talked at
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: the seller and after we talked, I was like.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: She coming home. So I knew she was coming home.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: That's cute. That's a cute story. It's a hot mess
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: of a story.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Oh it is. It's like it's Ghetto's Hill. But there's
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: a lot of ups and down. That's a lot of Yeah,
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: but we're we've made it through and now we're engaged.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and when's the wedding going to because I really
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: would like to not miss that.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna come to the wedding?
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna come to the wedding. And
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: you want me to come to the wedding.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: You seem like you're a good time. Oh yeah, I heard.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Seem like I'm a good time. You've hung out with me,
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: I am a good that is true.
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: But no, I'm saying like in those kind of settings
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: because somebody was telling me. I think it was the
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: guy he was really really sweet. He was telling me
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: that you were at Bruce Springsting's concert and you were
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: like making drinks at the after party.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: You became like the bartender. Yeah, and I was like,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: that sounds like a good time. I wish I was there.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that was a good time.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: So I would like I would like for you to come.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, well I will, I will, I will come.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I will commit is a formal invitation?
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, maybe I should officiate the wedding. Maybe you
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: should be nice. I've already done it once, have you.
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: I did it. Well.
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: Michael Ja was supposed to, but he's so anti weddings.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: I don't know if he's going to do it.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Oh really yeah, we'll see if he If he's not available,
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: i'll do it. Okay, So we're gonna take a quick
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: break and we'll be right back. And now we're back, Catherine,
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: what do we have for yah y'all today? I can't
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: wait for this.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: So many things. We have a boob related question. And yeah, yeah,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: you're in good company with this boob question because.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: I see because I got boom.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I'm the same way. I'm the same way.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: And Chelsea's got big question.
• 21:25
  Speaker 7: I don't.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: I have big boobs, but those are like extra.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: No, you have perfect booths.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: I would agree with that if you have break New
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: York tits.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: What are New York tits?
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: You don't remember that from Chappelle?
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: No, what does that mean?
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: He would walk around with the guy and they would stand,
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: they would put a sticker on bitches titties and like,
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: you got great New York booths.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: I don't segment. It's funny, but yeah, y'alls are enormous,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: and Catherine, yours are enormous. Yeah, so we're prepared. We
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: can come on, We're tis, We're prepared to field these questions.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Amazing. Well, our first question now comes from Alyssa.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: And all of ours are natural? Yes, right, yeah, yeah,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: mine are natural.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yours are not natural.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Hey, I showed you them. They are natural. I do
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: not have fake tits. You don't know they're real.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: You have really good boobs, like really great boobs.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: I know, thank you. That's why I did not know that. Well,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: that's why I had to say, because I didn't know
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: if New York titties meant fake titties. No, oh no,
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: they're not fake. I don't have fake tits.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Oh you know, they're like big and perky.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: I have to constantly announce this to the public because
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: they look they're so perfect.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: They look fake.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: It is ridiculous that I have these boobs. I mean,
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited about them now. I used to be
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: really annoyed by them. Yeah, because they came on when
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: I was thirteen. I was a little bit much for
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: a thirteen year old, especially when nobody else had little titties.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: So I had to like tape them down. And now
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: i've you know, now, if I embraced them obviously and
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: so as the rest of the world.
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: If I had boobs like that, I would just wear
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: a spaghetti strap all day every day.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: Say your tit's flying around.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, it just takes a lot to hold these up
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: like it's just act right, it does.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: It fucking hurts your back, is what the problem is.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: I don't like when I get those, like, you know,
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: things on my shoulders carved from the bath. Yes that
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: means yeah, so it's not always.
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: Too much if I take this bra off, is swing low,
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: sweet cheeriot? And I just no, ma'am.
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Our first question about boobs comes from Alyssa Dear Chelsea,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I'm in a dilemma about whether to pursue a breast reduction.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: The reasons I want one are my girls make running
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: something that's important for my physical and mental health annoying
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: because I have to wear this nasty ass uncomfy sports bra,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: and spontaneous running, like chasing my nieces around, is painful.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Shopping for tops and dresses is something I avoid because
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I'm pigeonholed into limited options that fit my boobs but
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: not the rest of me. I just like the attention
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: they draw, and I envy the Itty Bitty Titty Committee
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: for being able to walk around and skippy tops care
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: free while I'm dealing with all sorts of boob tape
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: and readjusting back pain. And two women in my life
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: have gotten a breast reduction and claim it one of
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: the best things they've ever done. Obviously, that's a dramatic claim,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: but who doesn't love drama. The reasons I'm hesitant undergoing
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: a technically unnecessary procedure feels unnecessary. I've had other surgeries,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: so I'm not afraid, but there's always risk as well
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: as precious PTO to consider. I've worked really hard to
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: love my body, and this feels like a type of
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: betrayal toward her, while women with even larger breasts thrive
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: and manage to love their beautiful bodies without changing a thing.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Just get a breast reduction. This is going on and
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: on and on. I mean what I know?
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I don't, but she said she feels like opposing polls
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: to pursue something that could make a positive change, or
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: to honor her body. And do you think it's possible
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: to do both?
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Alissa, get a breast reduction. You're gonna feel better about
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: yourself and don't care about honoring your body. Do you
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: know how many unnecessary procedures I get? Like, I do
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: a lot of elective things that I don't need to do,
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: and I'm always happy about it. Same exactly. I know
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: you're talking to two people that are pro surgery.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, cut me up, lay me on the table. I'm
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: all for.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: I came from physical therapy and they had to dream
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: my knee a little because there's still some swelling from
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: my surgery. And I go, so, how frequently can I
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: drain my knee? And they're like, well, you don't ever
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: really want to put needles in your knee unless it's
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: absolutely necessary. I'm like, no, bitch, I have no problem
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: fucking putting needles in my knees all day long if
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: it's gonna help me ski, I don't give a shit.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: She's like, and I go, what's wide. There's always a
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: risk of infection. I'm like, bitch, I don't care about
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: that risk. That's what antibiotics are for infection.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: And you love to take piels cut those tits? Yeah
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: you think so?
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, it's just like it's a nicer lifestyle when
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: you feel better about your body. It's just nicer.
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: Absolutely. And she's not betraying like she needs to cut
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: those tits. I'm cutt my tits.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Cut them? Are you you are?
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I'm curious what your decision making was around that.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I don't want big titties.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: E why.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: I'm sick of it.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I'm over it.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: And I would like to wear a spaghetti strap, okay,
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: I would like to go bralas.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I want to walk around like Chelsea.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and I know last year in Mayorka, a
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: couple of the girls had had reductions and they had
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: kind of like like big still but like perky, and
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: they're like, you know, even though they've gotten a little
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: bit bigger since the reduction, they've stayed.
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: Everybody says they come back. Every time that I know
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: that has a breast productions say they come back in some.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Co Yeah, they do. They do. And so when you
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: get a reduction, you have to do more than you
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: think you should because they do grow back. So then
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: you're like, well, then the girls like, why the fuck
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: do I get the reduction? If they're going to grow back, just.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Go a little smaller than what you Yeah.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: I think when you when you make your body like
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: more agreeable to like your whole like practical lifestyle, you
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: step into your body even more like, you become more
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: like because you're more confident and you feel more secure.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: And it's just a nicer way to go through life
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: rather than having some like an onus on.
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: Your chest right and insecurity. And also she can run
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: believe that. God, yeah, look at them. Yes, those look
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: fake they yes grassy. And those kitties on surgery pages,
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: Oh my.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: God, I should sell that actor, I should sell them.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: You should want to. Yeah, those are not separate, people
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: are nice.
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: I can't do that. It would take me too long
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: to hoisten them back up. I didn't see it.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's like having a bra Okay, okay.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well our next question is slightly more sober.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Sober What does sober mean?
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, just a little more serious than okay,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: boot questions, but not too too serious. They're very fun.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: So Sarah and Ethan are here, They say, Dear Chelsea.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Sarah was the one who originally wrote in so she says,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, my husband is transgender. We got married before
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: his transition, and since then all my friends and family
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: have been supportive and welcomed his authenticity with open arms. However,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: in light of the recent unfortunate political climate, I have
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: a few people in my life, my stepsister and brother
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: in law, as well as my best friend's husband, who
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: still don't understand the repercussions of voting Republican and how
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: that directly affects our life. My husband is very confrontational
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: and outspoken, and there have been some heated discussions surrounding
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: this issue, to which my family responds, can we just
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: not talk about politics? When clearly to us this isn't political,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: it's our lives. What do I do with these family
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: members since they can't seem to be reasoned with and
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: seemingly continue to vote against my spouse's right to exist.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Sarah and Ethan.
• 28:17
  Speaker 8: Ethan, I so excited to meet you guys, you.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: As well, Okay, So yeah, that's so fucking annoying. I mean,
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: it is so frustrating when you have family members that
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: do not understand. I just don't understand how people communicate
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: with their family members when they disagree politically like that,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: because that you're right, it isn't a political issue and
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: it shouldn't even be a governmental issue what you do
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: with your body. It's so fucking infuriating. But I like
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: to cause a lot of stir So my advice, like
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: you know, especially with family and when it's someone you
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: love and that someone they love. Ostensibly, I would just
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: put up like I would be like, listen, we're not
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: gonna I mean, I'm of the thinking to just like
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: shut them down. You're not even going to spend time
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: with them until they, you know, come around. Would you
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: agree with that?
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was said boundaries.
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: If they can't respect you in you and your place
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: in your marriage and who you are as a person,
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: then they don't need to be around you.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: You don't need that type of.
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: Negativity in your life, Like why even bring that into
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: your fold and into your marriage, Like no, yeah, it's really.
• 29:15
  Speaker 7: Hard to set the boundary because we are a blended
• 29:17
  Speaker 7: family and there has been some I guess some issues
• 29:22
  Speaker 7: with our other sister to where we don't have a
• 29:25
  Speaker 7: relationship anymore.
• 29:26
  Speaker 8: The whole family doesn't have a relationship with the sister.
• 29:28
  Speaker 8: So it is like why why, oh god, that's a
• 29:30
  Speaker 8: whole nother.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: But that's fine.
• 29:33
  Speaker 7: There is with our dad and her that just didn't
• 29:38
  Speaker 7: work out and now they don't speak.
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so this would be like the second the second
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: one that we asked from the family dynamic.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: And okay, that's the problem.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: But wait a second. Wait, your family and your dad
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: and your sister don't speak, so you didn't ask your
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: sister they did, right.
• 29:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's true the first one. Yes, that's yeah, what
• 29:58
  Speaker 6: do you mean.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: It didn't work out with your sister, her and your father?
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: I need some details, like.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: What do you mean? That's a little weird. But also
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: your sister.
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: If you cut them out, your sister, you may rekindle
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: that relationship and realize that she's the better person for
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: you to be in your life if she respects.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: Well, we have to hear about the sister. First, you
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: give us, just give us like a quick you know
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: overview that overview yeaes synopsis.
• 30:21
  Speaker 7: They always just kind of butted heads and it came
• 30:24
  Speaker 7: to fruition one day and it almost got physical to
• 30:28
  Speaker 7: where my dad had to threaten to call the police
• 30:32
  Speaker 7: if she didn't back off. So from then on they
• 30:35
  Speaker 7: didn't speak and we we the rest of the family
• 30:39
  Speaker 7: got cut by her by association, so we didn't cut
• 30:42
  Speaker 7: her out.
• 30:42
  Speaker 8: She kind of asked.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: Everyone, okay, okay, okay, after.
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: This under the yeah and this is the this is
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: so now what we're dealing with is like the second sister, right, and.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: We're perfect timing then so that they can get a
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: clue that they're the fucking problem.
• 30:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah. I tend I tend to go. I've learned a
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: lot that like, not all conflict is bad, especially recently,
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: and that there's a lot of like self protection that
• 31:07
  Speaker 6: maybe could be and should be done. So this my
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: approach has been like I don't I don't need to
• 31:13
  Speaker 6: I don't need to talk to them. It's such a
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: complicated relationship with in laws, right and with families.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: And I know, but it's like a it's like a
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: direct lack of respect for your for you and your safety. Yeah,
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: that's it. That's the only sentence you need to know. Like,
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: they are not respecting that your safety is threatened by
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: Republican lawmakers, and like and as long and if they
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: don't care about your safety, then what the hell are
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: you doing spending time with them?
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: That's well said.
• 31:40
  Speaker 7: I want to do everything possible to avoid I think,
• 31:45
  Speaker 7: losing this relationship because it is the only sibling that
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: I have left. So is there anything that you would like?
• 31:51
  Speaker 7: I know you're a huge proponent of writing an email
• 31:53
  Speaker 7: in a letter.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well wait, so you want to salvage the relationship
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: with your sister, not your parents, the second sister.
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: So also, the parents aren't the problem is this second system?
• 32:02
  Speaker 8: Oh no, no, my parents are.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: Oh it's the other sister.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Oh oh no, Well she wants to salvage it. Yeah, yeah,
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: because she lost her other sister. I think you know what, Yes,
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: I am a big fan of an email, and I
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: think you can lay it out to your other sisters.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: So she's the Republican the other sister. Yes, okay, so
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: that's problematic. Yes? And does she mar is she married to.
• 32:23
  Speaker 8: Someone who's also of the same mind as she well.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Of course, of course, so they go together one is it.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: You know, Republican women are usually there because their husband's
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: told them to be right. But I think that you
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: can write her a letter and express like, I really
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: don't want our relationship to devolve in the same way
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: that your your relationship has devolved with your other sister, right,
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: because then she's going to lose two of you. And
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: lay it out in the most human, most humane way,
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: like we are talking about the safety and protection of
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: the person that I am married to, and you were
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: talking about voting for someone who is never ever going
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: to protect their rights, my husband's rights. So that's very,
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: very hard pill for me to swallow. I would love
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: for us to be able to like figure this out,
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: but it's starting to feel like, you know, I'm going
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: to lose another sister, and you got to meet me
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: somewhere in the middle there.
• 33:12
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know you can make somebody vote for a Democrat, you.
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: Know, but like nobody even if not, they can respect
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: them and not mention it in their presence. And if
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: they can't even do that, then I think that you
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: just have to protect yourself. And I feel like you
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: should also try to reach out to your sister to
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: cut you off and try to rekindle that relationship. I
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: do too, So then you won't even if you lose
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: out on the other sister, you still got the good one.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Is that good is she? Is she a good one?
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: The sister that got in a fight with your father
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: or what she is?
• 33:42
  Speaker 8: It's questionable. It's worth looking in.
• 33:43
  Speaker 6: It is worth It is worth not you know, locking shut.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: No, And it's not good to lock shut anyway, because
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: you know what that is, your sister. Everyone goes through
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: difficult times in their lives, and people get better and
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: people recover. Not everybody, but a lot of people. Do
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: I know, I've learned and grown and changed throughout my life.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you feel the same way. Yeah, yeah, And
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: like you know, mistakes you make necessarily you wouldn't necessarily
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: repeat in the future. And so it's worth just checking
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: in with her and like just reinforcing the fact that
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: she's your sister, you love her, you will always be sisters,
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: and if she ever wants to reach out, and she
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: ever wants to talk, you're always there for her. There's
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: nothing wrong with putting that out into the universe. That's
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: good vibes and that's good energy. And if she comes back, great,
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: and you might catch her when she is ready to
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: talk to you. And maybe she's not ready to go
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: and be around your parents, But that doesn't mean you
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: can't have a relationship with her, right.
• 34:35
  Speaker 8: That's kind of how I've always felt about that.
• 34:37
  Speaker 7: I think I just maybe need to remind her that
• 34:40
  Speaker 7: I'm of that stance, because I think it all gets
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: lost when there's drama.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, and people do things in the heat
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: of the moment that you know they wouldn't do ten
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: years later, or five years later, even six months later.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people change.
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: Can I ask, does it bother you their political affiliation
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: or does it bother you that they're vocal about it
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: in your presence?
• 34:59
  Speaker 8: So they're not really vocal about it in our presence.
• 35:01
  Speaker 6: They actually refuse, they refuse to talk to talk about it.
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: And I think it's because logically, I mean, I'm a
• 35:07
  Speaker 6: pretty good talker, so they're not gonna.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: So they're never disrespectful to you in your presence.
• 35:15
  Speaker 6: No, No, I mean they've asked silly questions like in moments,
• 35:19
  Speaker 6: but like they're learning social media, it's their social media presence.
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: And oh okay, well maybe if you continue to educate them,
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: because if people don't know, sometimes they're just ignorant.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: So maybe if you continue to, you know, just talk.
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: To them and educate them on who you are, your story,
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: your plight, and the things that go on with you. You
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: don't know that you may change your perspective. So you
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: may not even have to cut her off.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: To Yeah, and I don't know if you've got a
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: chance to tell us to our Skylar Baylor episode. But
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: his book They Ha Yes has some really really good
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: methods for communicating with loved ones, and especially like asking
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: questions at these moments that could get very confrontational and
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: say look, well here's what I think, here's what you think,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: where people automatically go in this defensive mode. He's got
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: some good tricks in there for like asking questions like
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: why do you think that? And so I would definitely
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: recommend maybe if you haven't already read it, read it.
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: No, I need It's on my list, but I need
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: to get I need to get to it.
• 36:13
  Speaker 7: He's a little bit more of a hostile negotiator. Yeah,
• 36:16
  Speaker 7: I'm a little level headed, So that's for you.
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: Ethan yeah. Yeah. I mean I'm assuming your sister and
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: her husband have like heard how difficult and like arduous
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: the process of transitioning is, right, that everything that you
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: have been through, because I find that when people hear that,
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: it reduces their ability to argue. When people realize that
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: it's not some like whimsical thing that you just do
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: and go and like, you know, get surgery to change
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: your youth. There's multiple psychological assessments that have to happen.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: You can't just go in and get a penis. Like,
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: it's not like, oh, I'm going to a fair and
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: I think I want to wear a costume. I mean,
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: that's why I find Republicans don't understand like the actual
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: background of what has to happen.
• 37:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a lot of false information out there, and
• 37:02
  Speaker 7: I think we have started to share some of that information.
• 37:05
  Speaker 7: It's just trying to get them to the point of
• 37:07
  Speaker 7: being receptive and like sitting down and listening and instead
• 37:11
  Speaker 7: of shutting down or saying I don't want to talk
• 37:14
  Speaker 7: about politics. You know, that's their that's their pretty immediate response.
• 37:17
  Speaker 7: So it's just getting them to a place where they
• 37:19
  Speaker 7: realize it's not political and it shouldn't be political.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: It's not politics. You being a transgender is not political.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: They're the only party in the country in the world
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: that is making it political. Well, not in the world.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: There are other countries that are also politicizing it. But
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean, No, no Democrat has a
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: problem with that. So it's like, why would you actively
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: be going after people who are not bothering anybody else.
• 37:39
  Speaker 8: It's a great question.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: What would make you satisfied? Like they have to switch parties?
• 37:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah, probably, that's how I would force just don't even vote.
• 37:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah, if you yeah, if you can't vote for the
• 37:52
  Speaker 6: Democratic Democratic candidate, just don't don't vote Republican. I think
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: it's I think it's like it's this feeling of someone
• 37:59
  Speaker 6: telling you, I sure, I see you, I'm fine with you,
• 38:02
  Speaker 6: but then their actions that they're taking outside of that
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: moment are are a direct contradiction and and so I'm yeah,
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: that's what's hurtful, is I I want to be like, Okay,
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: you can say whatever you want, but if you are
• 38:17
  Speaker 6: actively voting against my rights as an equal human being,
• 38:20
  Speaker 6: I just don't believe you.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have a problem with that too. I'm
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: with you, but I do think you should reach out
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: to the other sister and then do and I think
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: you should email your other sister and you know, work
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: both of those things at the same time.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: Or you could just send her this podcast.
• 38:35
  Speaker 8: I know I thought about that. I could like this episode.
• 38:38
  Speaker 8: I'd be pretty eye opening.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's actually a good idea too.
• 38:41
  Speaker 6: Because I'm sure they don't know the turmoil or like
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: the difficulty we have on our end.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Oh so you I've never discussed You've never spoke about it.
• 38:48
  Speaker 6: I've tried, and the response is we don't talk about that.
• 38:51
  Speaker 8: It just gets shut down real fast.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: So that's something you should mention in the letter. Just
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: go imagine trying to share yourself with like this is
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: my husband. Imagine trying to share your husband wants to
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: share any of his personal belief systems or history or
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: anything like that, and not being willing to sit and
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: listen to it is very obstinate. You're not compromising. That's
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: like I'm set in my narrow minded way and the
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: only vision I see is the only one that there is,
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that is problematic. To actually evolve and grow,
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: like that's the whole point of being alive is to
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: change and evolve, you know, and learn and have your
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: opinions challenged.
• 39:28
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I agree.
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: I think expressing that one of our biggest desires is
• 39:33
  Speaker 7: just to be heard and then actually, like you said,
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: possibly playing her in this episode because I don't think
• 39:39
  Speaker 7: she also knows how much it does weigh on us,
• 39:41
  Speaker 7: just this topic of the our relationship.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, Well that's good. Let us know,
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: keep us posted and let us know how it goes.
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: I will, all right, you guys, take care. I have
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: a great day, A good afternoon.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: Bye bye, Alex says dear Chelsea. I'm in an emotionally
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: distant marriage and questioning my sexuality. I'm a thirty eight
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: year old woman married to a man for nine years,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: together for eleven. We have a five year old son together.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Over the course of the pandemic, I was at home
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: with our son and my husband worked a lot of overtime.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: He's a first responder and felt responsibility to help. We'd
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: both stopped focusing on our relationships since our son was born,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: and the pandemic served to magnify that. We've also both
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: dealt with some depression at times since then. I've been
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: bothered by our diminished connection, both emotional and physical. He
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: agrees there's a lack of connection, but does nothing about it.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to skip forward a little bit. They've done
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: a little bit of therapy, but she sort of still
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: feels like she's the only one who's doing anything. We've
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: got a lot of love for each other, but at
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: this point, I'm wondering if I'm nearing my limit. Another
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: layer to all of this. After years of counseling on
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: my own, I've come to accept about myself that I'm
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: attracted to women. At the time of writing this, my
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: husband is not aware. It's increasingly on my mind, and
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I'm endlessly curious about being physical with another woman. Since
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: I'm asking for a more emotionally open relationship with him,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: do I owe him that information, especially if I feel
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: like it's holding me back from being completely myself with him.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Our sex life is virtually non existent at this point,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: yet another topic we don't talk about unless I bring
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: it up. Initially, I thought working on our connection and
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: therapy would help me feel romantic toward him again and
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: the attraction to women would fade. But that doesn't seem
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: to be happening. How to proceed Alex mm.
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, what do you think I think she needs
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: to bring that bitch in the bedroom. I think if
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: she popped up puss in the bedroom, they marriage may spice.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: It up a little bit.
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: She wants him to thrutle up. That might not be
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: a bad idea.
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: Actually, I think that then it'll bring It'll add some spice.
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: He'll probably be more engaged. But she has to be
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: honest with her feelings, Like she's like, oh, I don't
• 41:55
  Speaker 5: want to tell him, but she has to be honest
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: and disclosed that she has an attraction to women, and
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: then he may be like, Okay, bring that bitchit.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. Or if she was going to say, explore
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: her feelings for a woman without her husband, and that's cheating, Okay,
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: so she can't do that.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: No, that's cheating.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: That's so do you think she should give her a
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: husband the heads up that she's having a feelings for women.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she has to be honest about that, m M.
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: Because I mean, if that's where she wants to go,
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: then he has the right to know that. Yeah, he
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: has the right to know that, regardless if they stay
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: together and not. You know, he has the right to
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: before she steps. She can't just search to be like
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: I think, I like, bit, just let me go chat it.
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: So she that's cheating, that's dishonest. So she needs to
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: be honest with her husband, especially if that's her life
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: partner then she chose and they have a kid together.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: M h yeah, I would say that the first. The
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: first what's going to happen is you're going to tell
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: your husband that you did that, that you're feeling this
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: way about women. He's going to say, let's bring someone
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: into the bedroom. You're going to do that. You're gonna
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: like that, and that'll happen for a few times or
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe months or whatever, and you'll enjoy that,
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: and then you're gonna want to just be with women
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: and not be with your husband.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: Ya think you'll be cowes.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: That's what fucking happens. I mean, I think it's very
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: common for women who have been married for a long
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: time to start thinking about being not heterosexual.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: You think so.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: I think it's hats trending. A lot of women are
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: turning towards the pussy.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: A lot, I mean, and with good reason.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, men are pretty you know, they can
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: be pretty disappointing and they're not all disappointing. I'm not
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: saying that because there are a lot of men. I
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: went out on date with a guy last night that
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: was adorable and sweet and just you know, nice and
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: totally fuckable, and he was a nice guy. But I'm
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to spend that amount of time with anybody.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: And I think when you're with a straight guy, like,
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: you know, the sheine wears off pretty quickly unless you're
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: communicating and you know, and men seem to, like, I
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: don't know, there seems to be this thing with women
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: when they're married to a man for over ten years,
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: especially when they have kids, like then you're fucked mostly,
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: you know, not everybody. I mean, there are happy marriages
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: which children, but a lot of people, a lot of
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: the happiest marriages are people who don't have children together
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: or they're on their second marriage and they've had children
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: with someone else then, and they can have that. But
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: I think that there's a like men stop emotionally growing,
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: or maybe they get stunted, or they're stunted to begin with,
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: and maybe maybe women don't catch it in the beginning
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: because they're so in love and then ten years go by.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: And you're like, well, wait, this isn't fulfilling enough because
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: I'm emotionally attuned and in tune with myself. So yeah,
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: I think it's very common, but I think the writing's
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: on the wall of what's about to happen here. So
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, go get some pussy girl and
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: bring it to the bedroom. Yeah, and then but.
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: If you want to be mostly attached to a woman,
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: she needs to know it ain't that much better over here.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: Really, Oh come on, Like I love like I'm.
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: In love with her, but also like if she's because
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: the first woman she's going to be with, she's going
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: to be in love with them, and she's going to
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: get her heart broken, she's going to feel like that,
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: Like she just needs to prepare herself. Like everybody thinks
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: the grass is always greener on the other side. That's
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: all I'm saying, is just not always true.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: Well, but you're not are you not emotionally attached? You're
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: emotionally attached?
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying, well, like if she's
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: been with this man for ten years and she's like, oh,
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: he's not giving me what I want, She's gonna be
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: with a bitch the first couple. She's gonna have to
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: eat a few pussies before she found one it fits,
• 45:13
  Speaker 5: so she's good.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: They're not gonna be emotionally attached to her.
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: Either, so she may think that it's just gonna be
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: so great and they're gonna be emostly attached and they're
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: just gonna instantly connect. And it's not like that she
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: has to find her person. It's not necessarily wrapped up in.
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: Whether it's a matter or Yes, I agree with that.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: I agree with that, like, yeah, maybe it is a
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: man or a woman because it's you're just not fulfilled
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: in the relationship you're but either way everything you should
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: get some pussies.
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, tell your man and then bring her home.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: This episode's gonna be called pussy pounding.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I will say she didn't want to call in, but
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I spoke to her aunt. She's very sweet and has
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: big softball energy.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: Oh really, yeah, I think. Listen, I have a lot
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: of friends that I think are gay that are in
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: heterosexual relationships.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, not a lot, but I'm certain I will.
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: I will, Yeah, I will, but not on the podcast,
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: because I'm sure they all are listening.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: My peters to them.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: So you think if she brings a woman in, they
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: would be a feminine woman.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I just
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: know like my gatar for sure went off when I
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: got on the phone with her.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: You know, Okay, she may bring you a girl.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: I mean it now, I know there's a whole location.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Castine and Brad is exactly what the doctor orders.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: That's true. My husband is also the engineer on this podcast.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: But sorry, no, it's okay.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: He knows I'm queer. It's fine. But yeah, so I
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: think Alex right, and we've have had a conversation with
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: your husband and like, let us know how it goes,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: or maybe a little further on down the line when
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: you know you have a girlfriend, et cetera.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, make some changes though. You got to like
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: actively pursue what you're looking for to see if that's
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: what you really want. And I bet your husband will
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: be open to it, is that you do. I would
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: probably just I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: be in this position because I probably wouldn't get married
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: to anyone. You know, so I wouldn't, but I wouldn't.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: Do you think you would wait ten years, she said
• 47:10
  Speaker 5: they would again eleven.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: Right, yes, yeah, married for nine Keep in mind, you
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: have a kid.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: Do you think you would wait eleven years to stay
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: in No?
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: No, no, I wouldn't even if you had the kid. No, no,
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: not as me as me.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: Well, no, no as Alex.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know what Alex is like. I mean,
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: there's any reason to be unhappy. There's too much going
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: on in the world that makes people unhappy. There's too
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: many upsetting things. You have to take responsibility for your
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: personal life and make sure that you are serving yourself
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: up with the things that make you happy. And you
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: have to make an intention to actively be happy in
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: the world we're living in, and that is not adding
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: to your happiness. So I think you need to make
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: a change.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with Toilphy.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: All right, Well, we have our last caller and she.
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: Just how do you think you're doing so far? Yeah, y'ah,
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: I don't really know. Okay, I would give you an
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: a yeah, yeah, I mean you're listening. Could be a
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: little sharper, but I think the advice is good. Yeah,
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: I missed a couple of things.
• 48:13
  Speaker 7: There.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: But that's okay, that's sorry. It's your first time. It's okay,
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: it's your first time on the slide.
• 48:17
  Speaker 5: I'll have you know by the way, ya y'all. First,
• 48:19
  Speaker 5: I dis my first wake up.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, y'all wakes up twice every morning. Tell them
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: your schedule when you wake up.
• 48:24
  Speaker 5: My first wake up is between nine and eleven, and
• 48:28
  Speaker 5: my second wake up is between one and two. So
• 48:32
  Speaker 5: I came on my first wake up. Actually I came
• 48:35
  Speaker 5: prior to my first wake up. So that's why I'm
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: not as sharp.
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm drinking water. I don't even have coffee.
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: Okay, So why why do you when you wake up
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: the first time? Then what happens? You go back to bed?
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I go back to sleep. So you wake up
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: for what? How long I wake up? It depends. I
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: wake up, I do my morning stuff.
• 48:52
  Speaker 5: I wake up, I piss, get Sam some water, check
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: on her, and then I laid back down, go to bed. Well,
• 48:58
  Speaker 5: I'll scoll through my phone for a little bit it.
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, So you're not really going out or doing anything
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: you're first week.
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: No, I'm still in I'm still on the first floor.
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: I'm still on the on the third floor. I'm not
• 49:08
  Speaker 5: leaving the third fel Okay, So then you go back
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: to sleep and you wake up the second time, and
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: that's that's what my day starts. That's my day'st.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: I've never met anybody who wakes up twice. You know
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: what I sometimes do if I'm hungover or if I've
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: had a big night, I like to wake up, heat
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: up something that's yummy, or get it egg McMuffin from
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: McDonald's like something like that. Ideally, although I'm not going
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: to leave the house, take a half a xanax and
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: go back to sleep on a full stomach. That's the happiest.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: The xanax doesn't make you wake up.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: No, the xanax as sleep as for me, it's like
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: a sleeping pill. Okay, okay, it's not an upper Oh
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: it's not. I've never had it.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: It's for anxiety. But if you don't have anxiety, it's okay.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you probably shouldn't take it or you'd
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: be like falling asleep at the club. Like.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't want to promote xanax or any sort
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: of benzodiazepines on these shows. They're addictive and are known
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: to cause you know whatever, dementia. But I'm doing enough
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: things to combat the demention from the xanax I'm taking.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: I'm doing enough things to offset that.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: That's smart.
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: So whatever you deplete your body from, you got to
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: add it back in. And I know you do.
• 50:06
  Speaker 5: I know you know the right formula. Told you a pusher.
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: I know the right formula.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: Well, Nicole says. I recently embarked on a nearly four
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: month cross country road trip earlier this year to explore
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: some new places to live. I own a remote business,
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: so I was able to work while traveling. Not only
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: did I discover two wonderful options for relocating, but I
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: also met my current partner while traveling, and I'm now
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: in a committed long distance relationship with him.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: Oh look at you.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: It's going really well. But long distance is hard. I
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: did end up moving a few weeks ago to a
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: city that's a five hour flight from him. My question
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: for you is, how do I know I made the
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: right choice. The city I moved to has a remote
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: worker incentive program with professional mentorship programs for entrepreneurs and
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: a nice chunk of change they pay me to live here.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: But it's in a red state and doesn't tick some
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: of my boxes, and the other city has all the
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: amenities and culture. I want not to mention it's driving
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: distance from my new partner, but it's really expensive and
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: I know I'd struggle to afford living there. Do I
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: choose to focus on my career and set myself up
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: for future success or do I choose to be close
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: to my partner in a city that has everything I'm
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: looking for but has a hefty price tag.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: Nicole mm oh hei Nikol, How are you hi?
• 51:21
  Speaker 7: Hi?
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: Why can't your husband come to you? I mean, you're sorry,
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: you're soon to be husband. You're a boyfriend. Why can't
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: he come to you?
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: Well, we've been dating for six months and we have
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: talked about it. He has offered. He's a journalist, so
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: he can pretty much work from any newspaper. It's just
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: a matter of actually making the move.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: So right now, it's a five hour drive to visit him.
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: No, he lives in Oregon and I live in Oklahoma.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, so that's a long distance relationship and you.
• 51:52
  Speaker 5: Just recently moved to Oklahoma, right, Yeah, Okay, so if
• 51:56
  Speaker 5: you just moved, then he needs to make the next move.
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: Yea.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: Yah's very tit for tat. It's a scoreboard with her.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: It's like, bitch, you did this, and now I do this.
• 52:07
  Speaker 5: She's already moved to be close a little closer, so
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: why can't they compromise?
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: And he moved closer to her.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: Listen, it's not fun Oklahoma City. But I would say, like,
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: the good thing about living in a red state is
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: that you can have the ability to, like I don't know,
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: I always feel like you can change people's minds when
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: you're living in that kind of culture, and like it's
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: an opportunity for you to like demonstrate your goodwill and
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: like your political beliefs and your value system, and it's
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: kind of like a nice way to infect all those
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: other red people, you know what I mean, with kindness
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: and inject them with kindness and fairness and your beliefs
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: on equality and all of that. I know how tough
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: it must be to probably be with like lacking that
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: kind of culture. But I would say, you know, you
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: just made this move, like give yourself an amount of time,
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: and if you're still dissatisfied in like, say it's six
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: months or it's a year, then you can reassess and
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: figure out if I would say your career is more
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: important than your relationship at this point, I would say
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: that to anyone at any point in the lives. And
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: then you know, if you guys are still together in
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: six months and you're still hot and heavy, or in
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: a year, whatever your time frame, then you can reassess
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: and say maybe, okay, maybe now I'm gonna move closer
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: to him, or he moves closer to you, but he
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: shouldn't have to move to Oklahoma fucking city.
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like, that's like not fair.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying I was just trying to give a balance.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: Since she just moved, do you.
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: Feel comfortable giving yourself six months or a year?
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I moved in September, and I told
• 53:27
  Speaker 4: myself I'd give myself until March to like evaluate.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: So far, like it's just started to benefit my career
• 53:36
  Speaker 4: to be here. Like I moved to Tulsa because they
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: have a remote worker incentive program.
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: Tulsa is cool.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is cool. I like it so far.
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: I have culture there.
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm into it. It's it's different than New Jersey,
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: like you were saying.
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's different than New Jersey and it's good
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: to get a taste of that. So yeah, so you're
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: gonna give yourself till March.
• 53:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you know, reevaluate. I know that he
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: is not so sad a with where he lives.
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: So well, maybe you guys can find a new city together.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: If you guys are still together in six months, maybe
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: you guys can like figure out, like, let's start a
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: life together. Let's pick a city where that's gonna suit
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: both of your needs. And that's an adventure too. I
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: would just look at Oklahoma City as not your permanent
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: place of living. I would just say, sorry, Tilsa, I
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: think you should enjoy your time there, soak it up,
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: meet as many people as you can, try to change
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: as many minds as you can, and then and just
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: think of it as a temporary part of your life.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: How old are you thirty? Yeah? Oh yeah, what of
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: course you could spend three years there and I wouldn't
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: make a dent in your life.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I really don't feel too much time pressure.
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: This is the best relationship I've been in, so it's
• 54:47
  Speaker 4: definitely I have I feel confident that it can go
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: the distance.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: But it's just you seem really in love. You seem
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: really happy. I know, Bless, that's so cute.
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: Just reflecting yesterday about the year and I was like, oh.
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: Long, oh that's so sweet. On a road trip, no Less,
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: How did you guys meet up on a road trip?
• 55:11
  Speaker 4: Well, I was using the dating apps just to like
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: meet people because I was looking for a new city
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: to live in, so I wanted to like get the
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: local perspective. And then he I actually had a really
• 55:19
  Speaker 4: bad experience in the town he was in, But I
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: was like trying to see if I wanted to live there,
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: but like got criminal minds, Like somebody was like following
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: me on the highway was really creepy. I was going
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: to leave the next day, and then he messaged me
• 55:33
  Speaker 4: and I was like, well, let me just go for coffee,
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: and then I ended up staying.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, how often do you guys get to see
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: each other?
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: Average?
• 55:40
  Speaker 4: Like every six eight weeks. Oh, I'm actually gonna go
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: see him on Thursday. His mom invited me, so I'm
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: going to meet the whole family.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Oh good, oh good. Well, just enjoy your time right now.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: Enjoy Oklahoma, enjoy Tulsa, and enjoy your long distance relationship.
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: And then in March you can reevaluate and if it
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: needs a couple more months, then that's fine too. Just
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: look at this as a temporary situation to get yourself
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: more like financially situated.
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: Thank you for the advice. I just have a hard
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: time like day to day I think accepting. Do you
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: have any advice for like just how to really like
• 56:13
  Speaker 4: radically accept that I have made this choice and like
• 56:16
  Speaker 4: not like just waiting for the end.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, you have to be like active in your First
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: of all, you need to be active in your community
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: in some way. You have to join some clubs whatever
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: you're interested in. What are you interested in, like sports
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: or chess or like a book club or anything like
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: what do you like to do in your free time?
• 56:35
  Speaker 4: I would love to join a book club. I've been
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: asking everybody for like crafting circle.
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well those things you can easily find on Facebook
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: and online, just you know, I mean, just google this
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: stuff in your area and start hanging out with people
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: and being an active participant. And you should just write
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: down a mantra for yourself, like I'm going to be
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: an active participant in my life and I'm going to
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: be an active participant in my community, so that you're
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: just like enjoying yourself. The worst thing about not being
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: present in the present moment and thinking about the future
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: is that you are You're like on borrow time. You
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: have to make the most of everything. You don't know
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: what's going to be out there or what kind of
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: friendships you're going to make, you know, with people, so
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: like you really have to just kind of I know
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: what you're saying, and I've been there, but you do
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: have to make a shift, and you should start meditating
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: on it, like, you know, find a meditation that helps
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: you really focus on the moment that you were in
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: instead of looking to the future. It's okay to plan things.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: Just be like, I'm here for six months. I'm going
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: to make the most out of this. I'm going to
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: see everything Tulsa has to offer, and I'm going to
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: make great friends that I'm going to have for the
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: rest of my life. And eventually those things become true
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: and then they are real. It's manifestation.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Wow, you should write a book.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: Don't you believe in manifestation? I know you do, right, yeah,
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: I do. It's true, Like you have to you and
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: what's your head is in the game. Then you are
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: in the game.
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to take that advice. Yeah, absolutely, yah
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: oh real that was really good.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: Thanks yahya, thanks. Do you feel what I'm saying? Do
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: you feel? I think you should write those two sentences
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: down and put them on a mirror in your bathroom
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: so you read that every morning, and that's how you
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: start every single day. And then who know, you know what,
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: you might even fucking fall in love with Tulsa. You
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: might even be like, I'm never going to leave here.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: This is I came here, I didn't want to stay
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: here for more than six months, and then you're there
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: for twenty years.
• 58:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very possible. People have done it.
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: So open your mind, don't keep it so narrow, open it,
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: broaden it, and expand it. Yeah.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: And I think also, like once a week, I think
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: you should try to do something new in the city,
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: just to be like, I only have six months here,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: so like I'm going to, you know, every single week,
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do something new.
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: And even if you and find a book club or
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: start a book club, you can start one, you know,
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: and to start it on Facebook or on Instagram or
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: any of these things. You can find people in your area.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: So easily on all of these apps. It's easy to
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: connect with strangers if you haven't made any real friends yet,
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: and start cultivating relationships, and definitely do things outside of
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: your comfort zone. You know, join a club like a
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: running club or a walking club or a hiking club
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck biking, you know, and make sure
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: you're doing different things so that you're stretching yourself and
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: that you're not just stagnant.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: And tell your boyfriend to move to you.
• 59:15
  Speaker 4: I'm Adela. I'madela Chelsea Handler and everybody said you need
• 59:19
  Speaker 4: to come to them.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: Okay, well, good luck in Tulsa and enjoy those museums
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: I love I was just there a few well not Jess,
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: but I loved it. I had a great time at Tulsa.
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: Yes, thank you, I appreciate that.
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, awesome later us post it buck bye.
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: That was really good advice.
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: You know what ya ya? I'm glad you're finally showing
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: me some respect. Do you know what yaya? Do you
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: know what ya y'all calls me in public? No, yeah,
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell everybody you have apologized and that was
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: very sweet and on next I know you did, I
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: know I could tell that you meant it, but she
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: was calling me Massa on our fucking trip and yelling
• 59:54
  Speaker 3: at me Massa massive massive this okay Massa, Okay, bitch,
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: am my mass up. You want us to be better,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: I can go to the beach at noon, okay, Massa.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, bitch, that's not fucking funny. You cannot
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: call me masa. And then we're out in a restaurant
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: in New York City a few months later and she
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: fucking does it again though. And then I were with
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: another black friend, my friend Jabria, and she's like, bitch,
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: she cannot be calling you massa, and I'm like, no
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: fucking kidding.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 5: Well sometimes I mean you do crack a whip chills, Okay.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: Anyway, anyway, thank you, yah Yah for what a delight
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: you gave such great advice. I'm sure everyone's gonna have
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: loved listening to you too. Ya Ya thanks, Yeah you
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: really you really pricked up our studio this morning and
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 3: do what I can. Yeah, now what you can? Oh
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: and also if you want to really laugh and watch
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: ya Ya harassed people online, please follow her on Instagram
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: at Vanity dot Vixen. Is that what it is Vanity
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: Dot Vixen and.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: Check out Sam's new special on HBO.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what's it called again?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 7: Uh?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 5: The first one is called three in the Morning that's
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: on Netflix, and the one that just dropped is called
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: Salute Me or Shoot Me, Salute Me or shoot Yes?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: Thank you yayah no, thank you for having me. I
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 5: really appreciate it.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: This was cool.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: See you next week, everybody. Okay, So show dates coming
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: out Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys. I'm
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: coming January nineteenth, Edmonton January twentieth, Saskatoon February ninth. I'll
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: be in Winnipeg, Victoria, BC is March eighth. Then i
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: will be in Salt Lake City April fourth, and Denver
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: April fifth. I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa April twelfth.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks, California at the Cash
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: Creek Casino, and then I'm going to be in Santa
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: Rosa Sunday April fourteenth. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: Maryland on April twentieth, Gary in Deana, Prior Lake, Minnesota.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: Coming to Oklahoma Norman, Oklahoma on May third and May fourth,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma for my rescheduled Windstar
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: World Casino date, and I want to make sure that
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: I give a shout out to our show for Netflix.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: As a joke festival, I put together a show with
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: some of my favorite comics. It's May eleventh at the
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: YouTube Theater Downtown, which I've never performed in, so that's
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: gonna be fun. It's pretty big. I have Beteo Lane,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: I have Fortune Themester performing. I have Sam Jays on
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: the show and Vanessa Gonzale, so we it is called
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: a Jew two Mexicans. No a Jew, two gays in
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: a Mexican. No a Jew, three gays at a Mexican.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: So it's political correctness at its finest. And then I
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: will be in Verona, New York on May twenty sixth,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: and then I'm coming to Australia in July and New
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: Zealand July fifth, Auckland and I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Brisbane,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: Sydney and then Thursday, August first, which is a long
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: way away and a date I am just seeing that
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: I am not ready to announce. Okay, So those are
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: all my dates that are up and available, so get
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: your tickets. I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law and
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
• 1:03:11
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