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Reinvent Without Apology · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's Divas the Care Radio.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Divas The Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to Confidence in Bloom, where bold women rise, shine, and own their power.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: We all face that pesky inner critic, what I call the itty bitty shitty committee, whispering self-sabotaging doubts and untrue trash talk that holds us back.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: But here, we don't let that noise win.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_03: This season, we're celebrating the season of shift: women on the edge of reinvention.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's for every woman standing at the crossroads, ready to rewrite her story, reignite her spark, and rise into the next version of herself.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: This is a space to honor the fierce, fabulous women who've broken free from fear, crushed limiting beliefs, and stepped into their full, unstoppable selves.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Because let's be real, the most powerful thing any woman can wear is her confidence.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Tina Spolettini, your host with a DivaSat Care Network, bringing you real stories from women who reclaim their voice, embraced their worth, and are lighting all the way all the way for all of us.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: Ready to bloom into your next chapter?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: Let's dive in.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: Today I'm chatting with Angela Wilson.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Angela is an international best-selling author, dynamic speaker, and the founder of Angela Unlimited.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: She empowers women to discover their authentic voice, live boldly, and embrace a life rich in meaning and abundance.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: Inspired by her own journey of asking, isn't there more to life than this?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: Angela now helps others confidently answer, yes, there is.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: So welcome, Angela.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, so great to be here, Tina.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so great to have you back.
• 2:11
  unknown: Thanks.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_03: So now, I mean, we've changed, we've changed sort of how we work the podcast now.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: We're we're gonna be doing themes per season.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm really interested in the whole reinvention, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we've all we've all kind of been there, whether we've you know recognized it or not, right?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: And some women sort of plan it out.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Uh some of us just happen to like kind of look back and go, holy crap, I'm not the person I was 10 years ago, right?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: So that's kind of where we're gonna go.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, now you when you were on the um podcast, uh, I believe it was last fall.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like yeah, I think the fall of 2024.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: I can't remember exactly.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_03: You know, time goes by so fast, it's so hard to tell nowadays.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: But we talked about like you help women with their wealth.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's correct.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: It whole wealth, so wealthy in every single aspect of their life, of their life, right?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: And so obviously, you've seen and you've sort of supported and guided many women through the whole reinvention.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, can you maybe tell me a little bit about, you know, what does it mean for you?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: And how did you first discover what reinvention is and how did you sort of blend that in with your clients?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I think re I think we reinvent ourselves all the time.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't think there's like any single spot.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's bigger reinventions and then there's the smaller reinventions that we're doing all the time because we're continually growing and it's a continuous journey.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I had a huge reinvention of myself from the standpoint of I, you know, didn't know who I was at all and was in a very horrible relationship, got out of that, which is was fantastic to get out of, and had to find out who I was.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really kind of where I decided that I wanted to help other women so that they could actually go through the go through the the reinvention transformation process without going through some of the bumps that I went through.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so I really wanted to do that.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, when I look back, my gosh, I'm not I'm not the same person I was at all.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, that's been many, many years now since that happened.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Goodness, that's well over 15 or more years now.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's really that, you know, it's coming out and being more confident.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like I would have never ever been here talking to you on on a podcast because I didn't use my voice at all.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's one of the things that I love about the women that I work with is I get them to use their voice and I get them to really start thinking about what is it that you truly desire in your life?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: What is your dream?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: What is the life that just lights you up?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what we go after.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so I've seen some great transformations from women that have gone from being, you know, successful and had great businesses and been in great careers, and then really gone, it's not feeding my soul.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: I really want to be me now, and have them step out.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: And one client that pops into my head, you know, she's now traveling the way she really wanted to travel.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: She has more freedom in her life because she was just solely in her business and that's all she did.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: And now she's doing things for herself and all kinds of amazing things in the world.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I think when we when we get into that spot of transformation and reinvention, it's that what do you really desire and go after that?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: And so, and and I it makes me wonder.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: So, this client that you were just speaking of, you know, she you know, she threw herself into her business and was focusing just on her business, but now she's realized, you know, I need to worry about me, right?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: What about me?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: I it makes me question, you know, the whole word the success, right?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: When we look back, we when we look back at a past life like that, do we still consider ourselves successful?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: Because I mean, I'm just looking, I'm thinking that this lady was getting probably whatever she wanted out of her business, right?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then she realized, but what about me?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: And and that's like, am I failing myself?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: Because I mean, I I don't know.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know this lady better than I do, obviously, but you know, it makes me wonder, you know, there's many women out there, and it's not just women, there's also men that do that, right?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: But I mean, here we talk about women.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: It makes me like I that's kind of what I wonder now is are these women looking at success in a through a different eye, or does it mean something different to them today?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: The ladies I work with, yes.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because uh because what for for me, I uh success is one of those words that it can be so triggering for so many people because it's again, it's one of those, it's a label that's been put on us for us to go after.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so what's the what's the opposite of success?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Failure.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, it it's that real tug of war.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's why when I work with the ladies that I work with, it's like, what do you desire?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: What are your dreams?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go after those, as opposed to I have to meet this goal to be successful, to do da da da da da da.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: And this particular lady that I was talking about, you know, she working so hard in her business.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, Oh my gosh, Angela, I didn't, I didn't make my goal.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't make my revenue goal for the year.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, What do you mean?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: So we had a whole conversation, and I said, Okay, just a second.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: Stop and think about it.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: You had life events happen to you this year that made it that you couldn't work as much as much.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, So really think about it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: How many months did you actually work out of the year?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, Well, you know what?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: It was like eight out of the year.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Okay, let's take that goal that you set and let's divide that by 12 times eight.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: Did you meet that?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: And she goes, Oh, I was way over that.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I count that as success because you still were way over the goal in the amount of time you had to work because life threw you some curveballs.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: Life is always gonna throw us curveballs, and that's why I said we reinvent ourselves all the time.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: That is so true, and when you're running your own business, right, life happens too, right?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: Life still happens, whether you have your own business or you don't.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: So you need to be able, you need to be prepared for that bit of a stall, right?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because you you you it happens, right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so yeah, I love that, I love that.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: And so now with the women that you're working with, I mean, you're helping them find their true authentic voice.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely, yes.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: And and I I'm gonna assume that that's not easy because you know, as a woman myself, I know that we're always trying to please other people, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now we're not all people pleasers, and I don't, and I don't mean that in that kind of a way, but we have other responsibilities, other duties.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: Whether we create those duties ourselves or those responsibilities, we still have them, right?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: We have families to raise, we have friends to make happy, we have, you know, social obligations and other obligations outside of our business.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: How do you like do you does your own experience come into um your conversation with these women so that they learn, right?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, because sometimes you say, Well, what's what do you really want?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, I don't even know.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what that is, that is an answer I get a I don't know.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've I've been I've been a mom for so long, I've been a wife for so long, I've been a daughter for so long, I've been a you name it, right?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: And that's so one of the things that that I do is because again, use using my experience, because it we all have this beautiful wisdom in us in us, and so for me, it's that let's use that wisdom to help other people.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, it was really that okay, I knew through the process that I had to go through for myself to become my authentic self and use my voice out there, that it really was I had to get to the spot that I was living life by my own story and no one else's story.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: So it really was about going, okay, I can't listen anymore to the you're not good enough, you're not worthy enough, you're not, because I had all of those voices, I call that inner chatter.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so when you have that playing really, really loud, it's really, it's so hard to hear your authentic voice.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's so hard to get in touch with you who you are at your at your core.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so for the ladies that have that going on, that's one of the things that I that I help them with.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: And we and I take them through a whole process of figuring out what is what is your story and not the ones that have been told.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Because if I was still listening to all those stories that I've been told, as I said, I wouldn't be here with you today.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_03: I yeah, absolutely wouldn't be.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: And we all know, like we all know that those voices, they come from somewhere, they're not just flying out of the sky, they are coming from somewhere, but they're not necessarily realistic, right?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: They're not, you know, they're speaking.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so we I call it the itty bitty shitty committee, right?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: There's many, there's many voices, right?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's you know, now the the four main voices would be our inner critic, our inner child, and our ego, right?
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_03: Those are the three really loud ones.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_03: And then we have the intuition.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_03: The intuition is usually more subtle, right?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: But the the the inner critic and the ego, I mean, they want you safe, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: They're gonna they want to keep you where you are because you're comfortable, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: And the inner child is usually the hurt one, right?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: So they're the one that's gonna be, you know, like don't do that because you're just gonna get hurt again, and and yada yada.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we could go on for hours, right, to talk about that.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: But the truth is we need to listen to them, we need to give them like we need to give them uh, I don't know what the word is, but we need to give them that spot so that they're heard, right?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: They need they need the space, they need to be heard, they need to be recognized to some degree, right?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: But we also need to give them a job, right?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, because if you just tamp them down and you keep shoving them down, they're gonna get louder.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they're gonna explode at some point.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: They're gonna explode, and then you're gonna feel crazy, right?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: So you you know, listen to them, give them, give them, you know, the space to say what they gotta say, and then recognize that you've heard them.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like, thank you, thank you for coming out, thank you for protecting me.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: But I gotta try this, I gotta do this, right?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_03: For me.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta do this.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know what?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't why don't you go play over there for right now?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: We can chat later, but for now, this is this is what where I need to be.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: And the and I'm glad that you said about the you know, the the ego trying its job is protection to keep us safe and to keep us in that comfort zone.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, it really is that it's all about stepping outside of that comfort zone, though.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: If you really want to go after your dreams and after after that authentic, authentic, uh sorry, my it's not coming up right at the moment.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: Authentic voice.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: You just need it out there for a second.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but if you're gonna step into that, you're gonna step outside of your comfort zone.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so here's here's the thing.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: So, do you want to live your life by playing small and stay in that comfort zone?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: Or would you like to take some steps toward living what I call your unlimited life?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, that's the life that you love, the life that you create, the life that you're really so involved in that your energy level is just like amazing.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that's a journey to get there for sure for every step that you take just outside of your comfort zone, that means you've stretched that little bit.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: So you're no longer in that tight little spot that you were, you're now further out, further out, further out.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: So again, small steps because if you I always say if you try to make huge, massive steps all at once, your ego is gonna freak and it's gonna it's gonna go into so much protection that you're not gonna do it.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: Right, exactly.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_03: And keep in mind, so the ego doesn't want to be out of the comfort zone because then they're in foreign land, right?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: So then that those voices are gonna be like, what have you done?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: So stretching that that boundary of your comfort zone is really where that safety net is.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: You're you're showing those voices, the you know, the ones that are trying to keep you safe, you're showing them that you're capable, right?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: You do hard things, but you also know your boundaries, right?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: Because let's face it, when we're younger in our 20s, we just go, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: We just do what we got to do.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: That's where those voices get strong, right?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: That's when when we're in our 30s, they're like, what?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, you're not doing that again.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: You tried that, it didn't work.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Look at what you're made, like what it made you feel, right?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so your comfort zone then starts to kind of close up, right?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: And so now we have to learn how to expand that comfort zone without going over the wall, right?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Then there is a spot too, and so I work with with women for the most part that are 45 and up.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: Most of them are more 50 at 50 and up because they're in that that season of change area where you know empty nest, um, you know, various other things could be going on, right?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: And you do hit a point too where all of a sudden it's like, uh no, this is this is now my time.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that that's part of the difference too, because the women that I work with, they're at that stage where they're like, no, I'm not doing that anymore.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going this way, and I'm really ready for the change, and I want to change, and I want to go after the life that I that I truly love because I'm done with this.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that that's there comes that that space of I don't want to use the word pivot because it's not really a pivot, but it it's almost like a I'm gonna you stand in your knowing and you start standing there going, Yes, okay, here I am, and I don't have to listen to this anymore.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: The word awareness, yes, the word awareness is coming to me.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because we are now aware, like there's that there's a time where we're like, okay, I have to look after myself because my kids have moved on.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: My, you know, you know, life life is moving in a situation or in a place where I'm like, I'm kind of on my own here, right?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you're not, I mean, I know for myself I wasn't alone.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: My husband is still here, my kids are still here, but everyone's doing their own thing.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I felt kind of like, so now what?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: But then we become aware of the fact that, hey, I don't have to sit around and wait for these people to have time for me or you know, have the energy for me.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_03: I can still do my own thing while they're doing their thing and still be there for them at the same time, right?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: And so squaredness is really where we make that, oh, so I can try this or I should try this, right?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like to should, right?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: That's kind of a square word, but but you know, it gives us the opportunity to try something different.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: It does, and it also gives us the opportunity to as women, we go through a lot of phases that it's you know, we put ourselves at the at the bottom of the list because everything else comes comes ahead of us, everything else comes ahead of us.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I truly firmly believe that putting yourself first is actually the biggest act of love you can do for everybody else in your life, because then you can give from yourself fully.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you're giving from yourself as you're empty, then you're giving empty, and you're not giving everything you know that you're you can, like you're capable of it.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly, yes, exactly.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so so taking care of ourselves and really enriching ourselves is not selfish in any stretch of the imagination, however, society has said that it is, and that's what we hear as we as we grow up, that you're just not supposed to do that, yeah.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: And we're living in a world where if everyone else can be who they are, so can we.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: Now we we I mean, as we're talking about, as we reinvent ourselves, it also requires letting go of old versions.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I think that's kind of what we were speaking of.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what what did you have to release to step into your unlimited life?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: I had to reason I had to release a lot because I heard I had a lot of stories going on of how unworthy I was, how unvaluable I was, how so I had to release those.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: And and as I said, this is a journey.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: So there's still as I'm going, I've released so much.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I'm in this space now where I am living the life that I love, and I am absolutely, you know, I'm I'm confident, I'm out there talking, I'm you know, assisting other people.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: And yet at times, because I am human, those little what I call I call them gremlins, the little gremlins show back up and go, who are you?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Who are you to to think you can do that?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: And that's when I stop and I go, who am I not to do this?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's the other side of it.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: Who am I not to do this?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: That really, and again, you know, that comes out of a lot of the learnings that I that I've taken on as I've got the wisdom that I've gained, and you know, and I make sure that I'm I have a lot of very valued people around me that when I'm having one of those days, I'm like, excuse me, I need to have a conversation because you know, the the Angela that's in my head right now is not a very nice person.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I need to talk to somebody so that they can quiet that as well.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: I can quiet it really good for myself a lot of the times, but every now and again it's like, oh, that's a little too loud.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: I I need I need help too.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: We all need to be.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I find like with myself, it's with certain people that those voices become louder.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, I look at like when I usually what I do is I'll sit around the table or wherever I am and I'll look at all these people and go, yeah, but these are also the people that made that big strong boundary in your head that didn't allow you to move forward, right?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: Whether they did it on purpose or with intention, it doesn't even matter, right?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's how your inner critic or your ego accepted and translated that for you, right?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: So it's not that they're villains in any way, right?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's just that how their character created yours.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so I just sort of sit back and go, okay, whatever they meant, they meant, but this is my world.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like I need to make my life, you know, happy or whatever it is that I'm looking for, right?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so, you know, then I that's when that discussion with with my critty, my committee comes out, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: Or okay, let's have a discussion, let's have let's have a board meeting, right?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_03: Let's have a board meeting right now.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right, because that's we need to have that discussion with ourselves.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: We need to understand where we're coming from, where we want to go, and how we're gonna get there.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: And that's how we do it, right?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love it.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, and yeah, and it's interesting.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: So one of one of the conversations that that does go on for me is if my ego starts getting really riled up, I'm like, okay, just a second.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: I I I call the I call my ego, those are my soldiers.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, thank you for protecting me.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: And the job that you did was amazing.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: But right now you need to stand down because we're on a different path now.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: We're not anymore.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: And you've got a way different job to do now.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then that allows me to move forward because as soon as I do that, the big voice is going rah-rah rah, it it stops because you're addressing it differently.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because you've given it a different job, right?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's now I mean, it sounds crazy.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like the first time someone told me to do this, I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: That's just me, right?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: But then when I started to kind of just sit back and listen at first, just to become more aware of that conversation that I was having in my head that I didn't even realize was going on, right?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so, you know, just take that moment, just take, you know, if it's a minute or 10 minutes, whatever you need, take that minute just to listen and then create a game plan, right?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: So, okay, how are we gonna handle this?
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: Right now, Angela, you encourage women to live out loud.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: What does that look like in practice for someone who's used to playing small?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: That it's really about taking small steps to move outside of that comfort zone and to really, I love that you said about again about the voices because it is about gaining awareness of what is going on inside and really filtering and figuring out is it true or is it not true?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: Because a lot of times everything that's being said is not true.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: So once you can start doing that, so it's really so I I get the I get ladies to really get in touch with who they are and to understand when it is the voice in your head, as I said, I call it inner chatter.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: So is it your inner chatter that's talking, or is it actually your heart that's talking?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: And there is a big distinction when you really start to notice, and so I work with them a lot on that, and you know, again, it's it comes down a lot to choice, and that's one of the things that I work with women a lot on is you have choice, even when you don't think you have choice, you do have choice, and not choosing is a choice, and so you can stay inside your comfort zone because that's hey, if that's where you want to stay, that's fine.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: However, you have a choice to move out and beyond that, and that's where you know you'll get that that feeling of, oh no, there's something more, I want to go after more, and that's what we really do.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: And it's but it all starts by listening to who you are, and then really deciding what is what is my future, what does my future self look like?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: I do a lot with future self as as well, um with clients and and myself as part of part of my my practice as well.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because it's that you know, we've been so as little ones, we daydream, we play, um, and then we get out of that.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, why does that happen?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: Right, it happens because we get told.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you got told that I got told this a lot.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_02: Stop daydreaming, get your head out of the clouds, yeah.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: Grow up, right?
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: You can't possibly do that.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's too grandiose, yeah.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_03: Or you that's for little kids, right?
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: Little kids have fun, right?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly, yeah, yeah.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: But no, we're some that's one of the big things.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's like how are you gonna infuse more fun in your life?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: How are you gonna infuse more of you into your life?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because that you we're here to create the life that we're that we love, and that's what we're here to live.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: We're not here to live small.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: We we weren't put on this planet to place to play small.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: We came in as sparkly little ones, knowing no boundaries.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: I actually said this in a talk just recently.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: I said, we came in, and if we were told we we didn't know any boundaries, so therefore we learned to walk and we learned how to talk.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: If we had boundaries, we wouldn't do that.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I said to the ladies I was talking to, I said, I know you can all walk and talk, therefore, you can do any anything you truly desire to do.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just you've put the brakes on.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: So when you're going after your dreams, like I said, when you're going after your dreams, you can't have your foot on the gas and your foot on the brake at the same time when you're driving because you're not going anywhere.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so you gotta release them off.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's your comfort zone, is both feet on the on those paddles.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: When you start releasing, now you start moving forward, and just you can just do a little bit at a time, it's all good.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's all good, exactly, exactly.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: And and keep in mind, like when we were, you know, growing up, whoever was raising us, they were teaching what they taught were taught, right?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so you know, yeah, like they were they didn't tell us to be fierce and powerful and because they were told not to, right?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: But we're living in an age now where you know we have to accept ourselves for who we are, the rest of the world is being accepted.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_03: Why can't we accept ourselves?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: Right, absolutely, yeah.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_03: So for women standing on the edge of their own reinvention, Angela, what is the first step that you would encourage them to take toward embracing that life?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: The first step is really you don't have to do this alone.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's the first step is get in whether it's community, whether it's a trusted friend, whether it's a coach, whether whatever it is.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: That is because when you try to do it alone, all the naysayers out there, their voices get will get louder because you're still listening to to the chatter that's going on.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: So that would be the first step I would do is I would find a trusted community mentor friend that you can just be yourself with.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's the absolute first step if you're trying to reinvent yourself.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I was so blessed that I that I found those in my life and to be able to do that.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then really from there, it's I'm gonna say allow yourself to open to the possibilities of what could happen, and not not to put the filter of, oh, I don't think I can do that.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: So it is about starting to release that fear, and you know, it's it's interesting because the time of year that we're at in the northern hemisphere is we're we're going into the harvest season.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: So think of what the harv think of what the farmers do, right?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: They separate the wheat from the chaff.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: So this is this is the perfect time if you're starting to reinvent yourself.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: Is what do you really want to take forward with you that just feels so good?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: And what is it that you really don't want to put your energy to anymore?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the stuff you get to discard.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we get to do this all the time.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I said we're in a continuous reinvention all the time.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I love that.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: I really love that because, like you said, I mean, we can compare ourselves to a garden or to a harvest, right?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: And we are we're always picking away at the weeds, we're picking away at the you know, the crap that we no longer need, no longer serves us, right?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so if we do that regularly, you know, we will be the person that we are meant to be, right?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: If we allow ourselves.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, that was great.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_03: Now, do you have I I'm assuming you have a uh Facebook group or um, you know, where someone our listeners can join you and maybe get that little bit of encouragement from you.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the best the best way is to if you go onto my website, which is angileunlimited.com, then you can jump on.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: my calendar and have a phone conversation with me and we can get that that way and the other thing too you can sign up I send out newsletters and and what have you and yeah I love that well thank you so much for joining me today this was great oh it was so much fun I love when we get a chance to chat yeah yeah it's always awesome thank you so much thanks Tina thanks for listening to confidence in Bloom where we celebrate the amazing brilliant and beautiful woman you already are this season of shift is your invitation to rise reinvent and reconnect with the woman you're becoming you don't need to look like a superstar movie star or a moose supermodel spoiler alert they don't even look like that you are already enough worthy of love success and a life that feels as good as it looks we give so much love to everyone else it's time to pour some of that in of that love back into you if you're ready to reclaim your confidence and step into your next chapter I'm offering personalized coaching three focus sessions to help you build unshakable confidence define your personal brand and create a signature style that reflects who you truly are because chic does come in every shape and size and reinvention has no expiration date.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_03: Want to be a guest here on Confidence in Bloom?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_03: Let's connect find me on Instagram at Infobloomstyling email Tina at infobloomstyling.com or visit the divas that care website until next time keep blooming boldly and confidently thanks for listening this show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: Connect with us on Facebook on Instagram and of course on divashatcare.com where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing