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Raising Kids with a Rigorous Faith · Equipped for Impact

0:23
SPEAKER_00: We've been told for a decade that our kids are leaving the faith.
0:28
Nate: We've been told that to keep them, we need to make the gospel easy and acceptable.
0:34
Luis: We were told to entertain them into the kingdom.
0:37
Luis: We were told to avoid the hard truth so that we wouldn't offend their modern sensibilities.
0:43
Nate: But parents, the data just proved that advice was wrong.
0:48
Nate: The 2026 reports are in, and Gen Z and millennials are returning to church in record numbers.
0:56
Nate: But they aren't looking for Christian light.
0:59
Luis: They are exhausted by a world that has no floor and no ceiling.
1:04
Luis: They don't want a cool faith, they want a rigorous one.
1:17
Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.
1:28
Nate: We're your hosts.
1:30
Nate: I'm Nate.
1:30
Nate: And I'm Lewis.
1:31
Nate: And we're glad you're here with us today, where we are showing you how to stop protecting your kids from the gospel and start equipping them with it.
1:42
Nate: So here's the thing, Lewis.
1:54
Nate: Maybe they've grown up in church, you know, Christian school, whatever it happens to be.
1:58
Nate: A lot of our listeners, you know, that's the boat they're in.
2:01
Nate: They're trying to disciple their kids, but they're afraid they're gonna leave home.
2:05
Nate: But Barna actually has released some research out in 25 and 26 that tells a different story that nearly 40% of young adults are now weekly church goers or or at least frequent church goers.
2:19
Nate: Okay.
2:19
Nate: And I think the numbers have changed on what frequent is nowadays, right?
2:24
Nate: It's not an every week, but but maybe twice a month or something like that.
2:28
Nate: So they've actually passed all the older generations and how frequently they attend church.
2:35
Nate: That's that's just amazing, isn't it?
2:37
Luis: Yeah, in fact, for parents listening, like this is a big God moment, right?
2:40
Luis: We we have spent in our churches years on the defensive.
2:46
Luis: Like we've been afraid of the culture, but the data is showing us that young people they're they're engaging with their Bible, we call it Bible engaged, at nearly double the the rate that they were just doing two years ago.
3:02
Luis: And so this is like this is happening in real time, right?
3:06
Luis: They're they're not running from the word, but they're running to it because the world around them has really failed to give them a foundation.
3:16
Nate: Yeah, this is this is interesting.
3:18
Nate: So actually, some of my professors are even doing some research.
3:21
Nate: So I've kind of gotten a behind-the-scenes look at at what they're doing and and they're they're interviewing Gen Z participants, like college-age students around the the country at of their Bible engagement.
3:32
Nate: And like it's amazing to to hear some of these stories.
3:36
Nate: Like, I'm excited to hear that come out.
3:38
Nate: It's sponsored by the American Bible Society, but I'm excited.
3:41
Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:41
Nate: I'm I'm really excited to hear about that.
3:43
Nate: But like they'll go into these college campuses, college towns, and talk to small groups of Christian college-age students and like here and there, and they just they love digging into the Bible and reading it and studying it, and they're just like it they're not interested in what a lot of different reports are calling like a hollow ministry.
4:04
Nate: Like I remember when I was a a teenager growing up and they talk about millennials, you know, our generation and how it was like we said in our opener, like they're just you know, be seeker sensitive, be, you know, pull in the bigger, better activities in youth ministry.
4:19
Nate: Like that was the type of push.
4:20
Nate: Yeah.
4:21
Nate: And now we're seeing students who really they're they're kind of fed up for with this whole idea of just, you know, be a good person, Jesus loves you, and everything will be all right, you know, they see right through all of that.
4:34
Nate: And so, you know, this is this has been a a time where that messaging is really, really growing thin, and these students are coming out of that just wanting some real, genuine, genuine faith.
4:47
Nate: And it's because I think they're looking for high accountability.
4:52
Luis: Like kids want to be held accountable.
4:55
Luis: And I know that this is a shift for parents.
4:58
Luis: Like when you hear it and you're like, my kid wants to be held accountable.
5:02
Luis: Yeah, like your kids, they don't want you to set a low bar.
5:06
Luis: And I feel like as a society, as a church, we have set the bar so low for our children, like it was pizza and a party, right?
5:15
Luis: Like, like that's what youth group became in youth ministry for so long, right?
5:19
Luis: They they want to be told that their life matters enough to to have high standards.
5:25
Luis: They they want to know that God is a holy judge and that he's a merciful savior.
5:31
Luis: And they don't want a life coach, like they don't want a moral teacher, they want a king.
5:38
Nate: Yeah, yeah, I think that's huge.
5:40
Nate: And so this is a shift from you know what what some people would call a moralism, you know, like this is the follow this list of rules and you'll be okay.
5:49
Nate: Others would even call it like a legalism.
5:52
Nate: There's kind of different versions of that, right?
5:54
Nate: Like I grew up in the legalism side.
5:56
Nate: Like you you follow this lift list of rules and God will love you more.
6:00
Nate: I think the other side of it was you do all of these good things, and it's almost like the it's a works righteousness on the other side.
6:07
Nate: Like your good works will outweigh your bad works, and so you'll be, you know, everything will be all right and work out in the end because God loves you.
6:14
Nate: They don't they don't really want that anymore, right?
6:16
Nate: They don't want a list of of don'ts.
6:19
Nate: They want a person that they can follow, specifically, you know, a a a good Christian mentor, but also ultimately they want an encounter with with the living God.
6:31
Nate: And Kerry Newhoff, he's a pastor out of Canada, and I think we're gonna cite some of his stuff later, but he talks about how people are returning, especially Gen Z, they're returning to the church wanting an encounter with God, and instead they're only finding us.
6:45
Luis: Yeah, and you know what's what's really wild, Nate, is when as as I hear that, when I was in college in 2004, 2008, somewhere in that time frame, there was a book that was written called The Emerging Church.
6:59
Luis: And are you familiar with the Emerging Church movement?
7:01
Luis: And and I think that there were some good things in the emerging church movement, but there were also some things that we want to be cautious about.
7:07
Luis: Right.
7:08
Luis: But I think one of the things that I remember reading in the book The Emerging Church is that people were returning to some of the ancient practices of the church.
7:16
Luis: Yep.
7:16
Luis: The creeds, the responsive reading, the quiet, reflective time in the service.
7:24
Luis: And and even myself, as as I'm as I'm kind of navigating church life, like like there's an appreciation that I have for some of those things.
7:33
Luis: And I think it's because in those moments, some of those ancient church practices really help us make an encounter with the living God.
7:44
Nate: Yeah, I think that's that's interesting.
7:45
Nate: And you s you see that especially now, some of the denominations that we thought were kind of like fading out and dying, more liturgical, are really starting to see a growth.
7:55
Nate: Like even the Catholic Church is seeing a growth just because the the Gen Z really loves this connection to physical practices.
8:05
Nate: That was another thing my professors, I don't want to steal any of their thunder, but that my professors have talked about in their interviews.
8:11
Nate: Without a doubt, multiple students in each of their groups that they interview talk about pulling out their physical Bible to read it.
8:19
Nate: And so like it's become a joke now when they talk about going in to do these interviews with you know to continue the research.
8:25
Nate: Like, oh, they're gonna go get their physical Bible and talk about reading it.
8:28
Nate: Like that's a whole thing.
8:30
Nate: But it's the same thing, you know, the incense, the standing, the sitting hymnals.
8:35
Luis: Like, does your church still use hymnals or we have hymnals and we encourage people to use them if they want to, but we still we still produce it?
8:42
Nate: Words on the screen, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:43
Nate: So like hymnals are making a comeback, like it's a whole thing just because there's a physical solid presence.
8:49
Nate: So let's kind of take this and and talk about some ideas here of what this looks like in in our home, right?
8:56
Nate: You know, the the Colson Center, we reference them a lot with their breakpoint podcast, and they've got articles and all of that.
9:02
Nate: And so they explain this whole idea of liquid modernity, and it's kind of like what these students are reacting to, right?
9:10
Nate: It's this this vibe, the whole idea of, you know, this is my truth, it's just, you know, whatever is it's fluid, all of these things that we kind of take for granted.
9:21
Nate: And so for a parent, you know, this is a hard environment to raise kids in, right?
9:26
Nate: Because you don't know what's up and what's down.
9:28
Luis: Yeah, and it's really exhausting for the kids, right?
9:31
Luis: Because if you tell a child they can be anything, you're actually giving them a burden that they weren't meant to carry.
9:39
Luis: Because now they have to invent their own identity, right?
9:43
Luis: And so they are constantly under this pressure to perform, to become this anything that they can become.
9:52
Luis: And that anything that they can become may change from day to day, from week to week.
9:58
Luis: Yep.
9:58
Luis: You know, and it definitely changes from season to season.
10:01
Luis: And so when you look at this article from the Colson Center, it calls it the illusion of infinite horizons.
10:09
Nate: Yeah, that's that's interesting because what this does is it's almost like when you have too many choices.
10:15
Nate: Yeah, you know, have you ever been to any of those like discount grocery stores where they have like fewer options?
10:21
Nate: And it's it's cheaper because it's like here's your one or two, like you don't have an entire cereal aisle.
10:26
Nate: Oh, yeah.
10:27
Nate: It's like you have two things, and it actually helps streamline the grocery store and helps them keep prices lower because they don't have as much stock and waste and all that stuff.
10:36
Nate: But like that happens to us too.
10:37
Nate: Like if it's just like, hey, here's this infinite list of possibilities, like where do you even start?
10:43
Nate: And so I think that's one of the reasons, and this article gets into this, is why this inconvenient faith, right?
10:50
Nate: It's a a clear boundary of God says this, that's who you are, these are your boundaries, these are it it gives them safeguards and actually helps them kind of narrow their focus in who they are and what they're called to do.
11:04
Luis: Yeah, and we've tried to make Christianity convenient for our families, right?
11:09
Luis: And so because we do that, we we skip church for for just any reason.
11:14
Luis: We we skip family devotions because we're busy, but ultimately our kids are watching us, and so they see that our faith as parents is is liquid and that it takes the shape of whatever container we put it in, right?
11:28
Luis: And so like they're watching how we are living our lives, and they say, Oh, well, if my parents can do that, then I can do that, or if my parents don't make time for church or they don't make time for discipleship, then it's optional.
11:46
Luis: And when I become a parent, it's also going to be optional.
11:50
Nate: Yep, yep.
11:50
Nate: And so uh, you know, if we don't give our kids a good, sturdy biblical identity, the culture is gonna give them one that they can they can attach to.
12:01
Nate: They're gonna find a tribe, they're gonna stick to it with routines and rituals and rules and whatever they have.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:07
Nate: And and so if we don't offer, you know, uh a true biblical gospel faith, they're gonna find an ideology someplace that they can align with.
12:19
Nate: Which I think that goes back to last week's episode with Pastor Jamal.
12:22
Nate: Were you able to listen to that?
12:23
Luis: I was, yeah, yeah.
12:24
Luis: Pastor Jamal did phenomenal.
12:26
Luis: Thank you for filling in for me last week, Pastor Jamal.
12:29
Luis: The only thing that I was disappointed in is to learn that he eats breakfast after 10 30.
12:34
Nate: You know, my favorite part of that is what he said is he does it often.
12:38
Nate: Yeah.
12:39
Nate: Like it wasn't just a yes sometimes.
12:41
Nate: He said, we do that frequently.
12:43
Nate: Like he may not come back on the on any episode in the future.
12:46
Nate: Jamal, you absolutely will come back at some point.
12:50
Luis: But it's maybe even next week.
12:51
Luis: I don't know.
12:52
Luis: We need to talk.
12:53
Luis: But it's also a call back even to another episode that we did not long ago, which was the episode on relationships in the heart, right?
13:01
Luis: And we talked about how kids are forming these tribes online.
13:06
Luis: Yeah.
13:06
Luis: And these tribes have their own rules, have their own ideologies, have their own culture, have their own language, and so, and so our kids, right, are are are seeing that are believing that are understanding it.
13:19
Luis: And so what that means for them is that they're going to have this this mindset of this is what my identity is, this is what my tribe is.
13:32
Nate: Yeah, that's that's good.
13:34
Nate: So so how do we actually take that as a parent?
13:37
Nate: You know, you can read these reports and and they're written to pastors or leaders or theologians or whatever it happens to be, statisticians, we like to quote statistics, but like what does this look like for a parent?
13:49
Nate: If they want to really parent knowing that this is a trend going on and their kids are in the middle of it, like how can we show them you know this this disruptive way to live in in the modern environment?
14:04
Nate: What do you think, Lewis?
14:06
Luis: As a parent, you have to store the screen, right?
14:09
Luis: And we've talked about this in other episodes, right?
14:13
Luis: We we we've given you apps that you can use.
14:16
Luis: We've we've we've talked about ways that you can do this, right?
14:19
Luis: But but use the apps to keep the conversation uh going during the week, but but don't let a screen replace your your physical presence, right?
14:29
Luis: Like your kids need to see you pray.
14:32
Luis: Your kid needs to see you read a physical Bible.
14:36
Luis: Like we've talked about Bible apps on your phone on your phone, we've talked about devotions on your phone, but they need to see you open that Bible.
14:46
Luis: They need to see you take out a physical devotion, they need to see you serve a neighbor.
14:52
Nate: Yeah, and I think it also goes with the idea of evangelism, right?
14:57
Nate: Because it's it's a purpose that we're called to, right?
15:00
Nate: We're not just called to sit and get in church, we're not just called to have that cultural Christianity, but to actually show that it has transformed our lives and we want others to be transformed as well, right?
15:13
Nate: So we need to teach our kids how to be, you know, I I don't like the term, right?
15:16
Nate: But but like weird for for Jesus.
15:19
Nate: You know, they're not fitting in, they're they're standing out because they're called to a higher purpose and we live according to those principles, right, that Jesus has called us to.
15:29
Nate: And that's exactly what what Paul talks about in Romans 12.
15:31
Nate: Like I was speaking in chapel here last week at our school, and and it was on Romans 12, you know, verse 2, where it talks about don't be conformed to the world, don't let the world push you into its mold, but be transformed so you can live out the good, perfect, acceptable will of God.
15:46
Nate: And so you're going out and and you're actually living like a Christian and sharing that message with others, which we've talked about before, evangelism on on the podcast of really just living your faith out so that others can see.
16:01
Luis: And this means that we move from being these activity coordinators to being, I mean, can I use the word like pastors in our home, right?
16:10
Luis: You're called to shepherd your children, right?
16:11
Luis: Which is what pastor means is the shepherd.
16:13
Luis: And so, and so we are pastoring our homes and this 2026 model, right?
16:19
Luis: We we can't just count activities.
16:22
Luis: We have to start measuring the fruit, right?
16:26
Luis: Like, yes, you might go to church.
16:28
Luis: Yes, we've talked about devotions and and family devotions and how important they are.
16:32
Luis: But is your teenager becoming more like Jesus?
16:36
Luis: Is your daughter developing a biblical worldview?
16:39
Luis: Stewardship is is about growth, it's not just about attending or checking off a box.
16:45
Nate: Yeah, and and even that, like this whole idea of church attendance and these statistics, like we pointed out, like the they call them frequent attenders, but that's even in Gen Z, which is the highest church attenders, it's 1.9 times a month.
17:00
Nate: So let's just say two.
17:02
Nate: They go to the month twice a month and they call that frequent attenders, and that's the highest.
17:06
Luis: Yeah, and it doesn't even mean like two Sundays a month, like it means just two services.
17:10
Luis: Two services.
17:11
Luis: Yeah.
17:11
Luis: So like I could go on a Sunday morning and a Sunday night one week and not do anything the rest of the time.
17:18
Luis: The rest of the time and still be a frequent church attender.
17:22
Nate: Yeah, yeah, which maybe that's a whole nother episode on its own.
17:25
Nate: But even with that resurgence, right, people are only in the church building twice.
17:31
Nate: Wow.
17:31
Nate: And so that means for us as parents, like hopefully our listeners are going more frequently than that.
17:36
Nate: But but the other, you know, 28 days of the month, depending on which month it is.
17:41
Nate: Or 26 if it's February or 27?
17:44
Nate: 26, 27.
17:46
Nate: So old.
17:47
Nate: 26, 27?
17:48
Nate: No, we don't do 6-7 anymore.
17:51
Nate: No, no, no, it has worked its way down, and like the kindergartners and first graders are on it now.
17:56
Luis: So it's is it finally flushed out of the system?
17:58
Nate: Do that in a high school building and they'll roll their eyes at you.
18:01
Nate: What if I do 26-27?
18:02
Nate: Yeah, there's that's different.
18:04
Nate: No, no.
18:04
Nate: No, okay.
18:05
Nate: All right, we're done.
18:06
Nate: But what I was saying was these other days are on us, right?
18:10
Nate: Which this is where that Deuteronomy 6 comes up again and again, right?
18:14
Nate: The everyday moments while you sit down, while you rise up, while you walk along the way, at the dinner table, everything you do, those are the times where you can continue to push your children to that high bar of living out for Christ.
18:31
Nate: So we've talked a lot theoretical, okay?
18:34
Nate: But we we want to give you something that's practical that you can take away from this episode.
18:39
Nate: So, Lewis, what are some practical things parents can do knowing these trends are coming and these trends are here?
18:46
Nate: Like, what can they do as they disciple their children?
18:49
Luis: So, number one that I would say is stop watering down discipleship, right?
18:53
Luis: Like, parents, don't be afraid to talk about the hard parts of the Bible, right?
18:59
Luis: Like, don't skip over the fact that King David had an affair with a woman, killed her husband, and then was confronted by a prophet.
19:08
Luis: Keep it age appropriate, though.
19:10
Luis: Yeah, yeah.
19:10
Luis: Like your kids are facing a hard world, yeah, and they need a hard faith.
19:15
Luis: And so give them the meat of the doctrine.
19:17
Luis: They they're hungry for it.
19:19
Luis: Like, you know, they need to know that yes, God is loving and God is merciful, but God is also a God of wrath, and God is also a God of justice, and God is also a God of judgment, and and so your kids need to hear the meat, right?
19:37
Luis: And then we talked about it earlier, but raise the bar of commitment.
19:42
Luis: Like stop apologizing when the gospel is inconvenient.
19:47
Luis: If a church service or if something else that's happening in church interferes with their presence, I'm sorry, with their preferences, let it, right?
19:57
Luis: Like let it let it mess up your plans, right?
20:00
Luis: Like show them that Christ is the priority and and that our comfort is secondary.
20:06
Nate: I think that's a big one because so many other things in our culture require a high level of commitment.
20:13
Nate: I mean, you guys do certain travel sports, right?
20:16
Nate: And you understand the commitment that's required to play a travel sport.
20:20
Nate: How much more should our commitment be to our savior?
20:24
Nate: Absolutely and his bride, the church.
20:27
Nate: Like those commitments need to be high.
20:29
Nate: And so when we lower them, the kids, even though we don't say it, they see it as us communicating this is less important.
20:37
Luis: Yeah, absolutely.
20:38
Luis: You know, like one rule that we have in our family is we know that you know, we've talked about how we play travel soccer, and sometimes there are practices on Wednesday.
20:46
Luis: Well, our church does a midweek service, and so there are times during the soccer season that my daughter has to miss a Wednesday practice because we have an activity at church.
20:59
Luis: Uh, there are times when we are serving in our church on Sunday morning where we may have to miss something, or I may have to miss something, or my wife may have to miss something in order to be there to show our children, like, yes, we have this, and this is also important for a family, but we've made a commitment to be there.
21:16
Nate: Yeah, and I think I was gonna say that goes right into our next point.
21:19
Nate: To the third one, right?
21:20
Nate: Yeah, we were gonna talk about having sturdy, strong family traditions, right?
21:25
Nate: Having that time, we've talked about them before.
21:27
Nate: We've talked about a Sabbath, we've talked about Sunday worship, we've talked about, you know, your family devotions or meal times, whatever it is, you need to have those things like you just talked about, where your family is committed to them, and you're not gonna let the culture negotiate your family's spiritual schedule or really even any of your schedule, right?
21:47
Nate: You have to control your schedule before somebody else does.
21:51
Nate: And if you put those spiritual priorities down first, your kids will pick that up naturally.
21:57
Luis: Yeah, because in this liquid world, right.
22:00
Luis: the kids need this this solid ground, right?
22:03
Luis: Yep.
22:03
Luis: And we've talked about it before, how you need to create these non-negotiable rhythms.
22:08
Luis: Yep.
22:08
Luis: And then the final thing is to invite them into the mission, right?
22:12
Luis: Like don't just take them to church.
22:15
Luis: Right.
22:15
Luis: Like I think that's part of the problem that we have sometimes in a society is is we think that we're going to church to attend, to watch, but we're actually going to participate and to serve, right?
22:29
Luis: Like give them a job in the kingdom.
22:32
Luis: Ask them to pray for a neighbor.
22:35
Luis: Ask them to help serve.
22:36
Luis: Like my youngest daughter now, she's aged out of our children's church at church.
22:40
Luis: And so now she is helping lead children's church, right?
22:44
Nate: Yep.
22:44
Luis: My oldest daughter is helping in the nursery or she helps with children's church or she's now going to be helping with the media team at church, right?
22:52
Luis: And so how do they get involved and start serving?
22:55
Luis: Because we want them to be used by God and they want to be used by God.
23:00
Luis: That's right.
23:01
Luis: They they don't want to just be entertained by us or by the church service.
23:06
Nate: Yeah that's really good because you know they get used the useful they feel useful in when they serve.
23:13
Nate: Yeah.
23:13
Nate: And the faster we can get our students in an on-ramp, our children in an on-ramp to be useful for the kingdom, they they will be connected and invested themselves.
23:24
Nate: So those are just some good practical takeaways for you, right?
23:28
Nate: Just that call to a higher purpose and to solid biblical faith of what it's really like.
23:34
Nate: So as we wrap up this episode Lewis, what uh what encouragement would you give parents who are listening to this to take away from what we've talked about today?
23:43
Luis: What I would say is that parents the window is open.
23:46
Luis: The data proves it.
23:48
Luis: Your children are looking for a foundation.
23:51
Luis: They they are tired of drifting.
23:53
Luis: And so stop trying to be relevant by copying the culture but try try to be deep right like resonate with their deep need for truth.
24:04
Luis: The chaos of the world is driving them towards the shore and don't meet them with more water but but meet them with with Jesus right stop trying to be their best friend start being their parent lead them with clarity lead them with conviction lead them with love because your children aren't looking for a cool dad or a trendy mom.
24:26
Luis: They're they're looking for you to be a faithful one.
24:30
Nate: That's good.
24:31
Nate: And I don't think we can add anything else to that for today.
24:34
Nate: So thank you all for listening to Equipped for Impact.
24:38
Nate: And if this episode encouraged you please go on and rate this episode or our podcast.
24:44
Nate: That's something we we we can use a lot of is just getting those ratings that feedback in whatever podcast app you listen to.
24:52
Nate: Just having it there will really one get this out to other people and also it helps us see what episodes really are hitting home with you all.
25:01
Nate: So please go in there and until then keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ