Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #200: The Wisdom of Rest-Listening to Your Body's Signals

Transcript

Episode #200: The Wisdom of Rest-Listening to Your Body's Signals · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:02
Hey, everybody, welcome to tea time with Amy and bev Ala. Oh
0:07
nah, good day, our things the evening now for us, Yeah,
0:17
it's nice. Yeah, because we had to postpone because I woke up Sunday
0:22
morning with a neck issue, which is so hilarious. It is. I
0:26
didn't did I look it up? No, I just knew that. I'm
0:29
standing in the kitchen and I'm looking at the living room the floor, and
0:33
I'm like, I need to I'm gonna mop that today. That's how I
0:36
was thinking, I'm gonna mop that. And man, that thing just got
0:38
worse and worse and worse. By Sunday evening, it was almost gone.
0:42
I did quite a few things to kind of try to alleviate it and just
0:47
listen to myself and rest, and then come Monday morning, it was completely
0:51
gone. And then started to bother me a good today. I don't think
0:55
I had anything to do with us. I'm like, wait a minute,
0:58
do I even take this personal? You? Okay, yeah, now it's
1:03
it was interesting. So I went when I got home, I got home
1:07
a little bit early, and I went out for a little walk, kind
1:08
of like a little hike through the hills looking for some some rocks and stuff
1:12
came in, ate, played my game a little bit, and leisurely strolled
1:18
into the office. It was awesome. Well that's awesome. First of all,
1:25
First I want to just touch on you know, sometimes we think we're
1:32
gonna do things and really we we need to take a moment to rest.
1:36
I'm not saying you know, this pertains specific specifically to you, but just
1:40
in general. When we have a lot going on in our world and our
1:45
body is you know, we think, like you said, oh, I'm
1:48
gonna do this or I'm gonna do that, and then something happens in the
1:52
body. It's like your body saying, fuck you are that's right right?
1:56
You know you're gonna rest. You need to yes, so And you know,
2:01
sometimes it's just popped in my head. Sometimes we may not feel like
2:06
we need to rest, but we need to rest because of whatever is coming
2:09
up, not what we've been through, right, I mean that just dropped
2:14
right in. I'm like, oh, maybe we're preparing. We need to
2:16
rest because we got to prepare for what's coming. And sometimes we don't even
2:20
know what that is. So which is important for me to even recognize that
2:24
you're saying that because you told me this. We just I think we talked
2:27
after our last session and we had spoke about these different things and you had
2:31
said something along those lines. It may not have been during our conversation,
2:35
but it was the same thing. And it's like that really resonated with me
2:38
then. And now you're saying it again. It's like it's a reminder I
2:42
don't I'm saying it. So it's just yeah, okay, yeah, just
2:46
to recognize and so that's awesome. So again, if you don't remember,
2:51
that's even more amazing because that means yeah, and speirs speaking through you and
2:55
letting me know, this is why this rest. And I even made a
2:59
comment to Free and like, I know, you know, you know resting.
3:01
It's like and then I've had days that have been tired. I've had
3:06
days that have been working through a lot of stuff, you know, a
3:08
lot of stuff inside this vessel that I've been carrying around for the last almost
3:14
fifty four years. So it's I thank you very much for listening and speaking
3:19
up and h I hear the universe speaking to you right now. Hello listening,
3:27
Hello, exactly exactly. I love it. Yes, I mean that's
3:31
so just to give it an example, in December, my husband and I
3:38
went to Florida for a week. I knew then I needed to rest because
3:43
I knew when I got back I had to hit the ground running because I
3:46
had a lot of stuff coming up, and I was okay with the things
3:52
coming up. I just needed some time to rest. So that was a
3:53
no like. I actually knew that, and I was looking forward to great
4:00
vacation because I got a lot of rest. I got to sleep in almost
4:01
every day, and it was wonderful and I felt really good when I got
4:04
back. But sometimes we don't know what's coming up. We don't know,
4:10
like there might be again not knowing, there might be maybe a situation coming
4:17
up, or you know, somebody else is having an experience and you need
4:23
to be there for them, and and it's the energy of that experience bubbling
4:30
and we're picking up on it, and the body saying, you got to
4:34
rest because we got a prep for something coming up, but we actually don't
4:40
know what that is. If that makes sense, I hope I'm explaining that
4:44
clearly enough. I understood you perfectly, but it's true. There is so
4:49
much stuff going on, and I feel the same way of what you're saying
4:53
I feel like there is a there's like a lead up to something, right.
4:57
Yeah, it's like when we're when we're super tired, instead of grabbing
5:00
an extra cup of coffee or some other form of caffeine or chocolates or whatever,
5:04
it's like honor the body. And that's not always easy, you know.
5:09
I can say that so easily because I was well. I got off
5:11
work early today. I only had two clients, which was awesome. It
5:15
that doesn't happen very often lately. And it's like I could use the break,
5:18
the free time just coming home to do whatever I want to. But
5:20
I was so prepared to fill it up, you know. I was so
5:24
prepared because I was feeling guilty and I didn't get the kids on Monday,
5:28
and then I got one of them yesterday when I normally would pick up the
5:30
other one from school. So then I start feeling all these grieving and these
5:33
emotions and all this stuff. And I've had a lot of emotional stuff lately.
5:39
If we want to back it up a little bit, like last week,
5:42
even after one of my kids had picked up one of my grandkids and
5:46
when they left it the energy felt a little bit harsh coming off one of
5:51
the parents. The parent and I went over to the cat house to take
5:56
care of the cats because they read left so it was quiet, and I
5:59
want to go take care of the cats. And I remember going over there
6:01
and being first I was pissed, like I was pissed right, It's like,
6:05
but this is so awesome because it hit a trigger. I pissed them
6:09
over at the house, and I'm like, well, fuck, if I'm
6:10
going to be pissed off of them, I need to be pissed off at
6:13
my parents. I need to be pissed off of their parents. I'm going
6:15
to pissed off at all my freaking ancestors. That's a conversation. I'm over
6:17
there crying, not boogers and you know, all the ugly girl crying,
6:21
but crying because I don't know what to do. And it's like every time
6:26
I ask for help with dealing with these things, I get the help,
6:30
like I am asking for help. And then I started recognizing different things and
6:34
I come back and then talk to Freeman some more, and then Freeman's like,
6:38
whoa, you know, kind of like letting me know, like why
6:41
do you think it's triggering you? Why do you think it is, and
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it is because this little girl, when she was a little girl, was
6:46
being treated a certain way. So now all these emotions come up, And
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before I wasn't you know, it's funny, we talk about this stuff all
6:54
the time, and I wasn't like putting two and two together that this was
6:58
very mucharning me, you know, even recognizing my daughter's I feel like my
7:03
oldest daughter wasn't loved and nurtured. I loved her, I love her still,
7:08
but I don't feel like she got the best of me at the time.
7:11
And I feel like my second daughter got more of the best of me
7:14
because I had a little bit more of an understanding. But it's like,
7:16
we can I didn't know at the time, you know, we can.
7:18
We can beat ourselves up over and over and over about this stuff, or
7:21
we can recognize that I was raised by a seventeen year old. My mom
7:26
was seventeen years old when she had me, like, and then my sister
7:29
came along eighteen months later, which is ironically about the same timeframe. About
7:32
my daughter's ages, how far apart they are. And it's like, it's
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it's interesting, and I was this even processing this earlier too. All that
7:42
being said, like I love my mom very much. I always have loved
7:46
her, but I feel like my sister loves her like she like she gets
7:49
emotional and she cries about you know, she gets emotional about it, and
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I don't so much. Every once in a while, like and it's we're
7:57
coming up on nine years. I think it's nine or we just finished nine
8:00
years. So my mom transitioned nine years ago. And it's like, it's
8:03
just crazy to me when I sit and think about all this stuff, But
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I don't have the emotional like connection like that like my sister does with her.
8:11
So I find it interesting because we all grieve in our own ways,
8:15
but at the same point, we're all dealing with different stuff. And I
8:20
know that my mom did the best that she possibly could and all that have
8:24
that and experience, and looking back at it now, it's like I feel
8:28
like I feel like I've been empowered. Honestly, I feel like I'm not
8:31
being so caught up in all the emotions of all that. Not to say
8:35
that I'm not caught up in emotions, because I'm I'm identifying areas that where
8:39
this stuff's coming from. I'm identifying that my little girl felt like she wasn't
8:45
being treated very well. You know, she wasn't getting the love and stuff.
8:48
And she was because I and I always thought something was wrong with me
8:50
because I was not a huggy person. Right, It's not because there was
8:54
something wrong with me. It was just because there wasn't a huggy person around
8:56
with me when I was little like that. They're just wasn't there at that
9:01
time. And and so it's just crazy to to to look back and see
9:05
all that stuff, like it makes me almost want to cry, like,
9:07
aha, you got you you understand this stuff and I and I am understanding
9:13
this stuff more now. All that being said is like I know that if
9:16
the more that I work on me, all this inside of me, that
9:20
it'll benefit everybody else without me feeling like I have to run around like a
9:24
freaking chicken with my head cut off and make sure that I'm taking care of
9:26
everybody else. And it's like my partner, my my everything tells me,
9:31
when are you gonna start doing that for yourself? It's like because because it's
9:35
like I keep myself busy. I want to make sure and I and it's
9:37
so many triggers, so many emotional things that have happened. Like it's like
9:41
from all this stuff, it's like constant and it's and it's I even tell
9:45
my daughter's like, you're you guys are doing the best you guys can with
9:48
what you guys were giving. But you're doing a help a lot better of
9:50
a job than I did. You know, from my perspective at that time
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frame when I was raising littles, I was not I didn't have the tools
9:58
and and for me. And it's like even having the once and the desires
10:01
right, not even being able to admit to myself that I had once in
10:03
desires. I would make excuses like it was easier, Oh, I need
10:09
to go to work so I can get some me time. It wasn't.
10:11
It had nothing to do with that. I didn't have a choice I had
10:13
to work. I didn't have I didn't think that I had a choice.
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Now looking back, I would have made it work. But it's like our
10:20
mindsets are different. Things are different. When we're raised with all these energies
10:24
and ideals of how life should be and how it should look like and how
10:28
you got to survive and all this other stuff. Those were my tools.
10:31
So it's like it's so like it's pretty fascinating. Where is it all going?
10:37
I don't know, but like you started out with the conversation, it's
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like it's getting the rest geared up because there's so much stuff that's going on
10:43
right now and it's happening to everyone. Yeah, I have a friend that
10:48
just she had lost her She didn't lose him. He passed away about a
10:52
year ago, and she sent me a message just like a couple of days
10:56
ago, you know, not familiarly, a lot of this stuff, and
11:00
she's like, I'm because she couldn't get herself to go to sleep, so
11:03
she learned how to quiet her mind. She learned, which was into meditation,
11:07
not even knowing she's doing that, and then she started picking up these
11:11
vibrations and feeling all these different things and not knowing and like not even being
11:16
sure is it all right to ask for Like I really want them to be
11:18
around, but I don't know if it's all right to ask for that.
11:20
And I'm like, yes, you can't, that's perfectly fine. And then
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she says, like a couple of days ago, like his space to shut
11:26
up in her face, like she was in a meditation and then he was
11:28
right there, and she's like I don't know what that means. And she
11:31
said it didn't feel bad or anything like that, So she's recognizing to pay
11:33
attention to how things feel. So it's like, there are so many people
11:37
that are going through this, because you've also been kind of guiding a person
11:43
that's been going through a lot of similar stuff. Right, it's like it's
11:46
boom boom boom, like all of a sudden, you just opened up a
11:48
doorway you didn't even know. And it's not because everybody's well, everybody is
11:52
special to me as far as I'm concerned, but this is part of the
11:56
journey, and we're all on this journey, and we're recognizing her so much
11:58
more then meets the eye here. Yeah, for sure, there's so much
12:03
to unpack what you said, So I'm gonna hit on some of the things.
12:07
It's crazy, I'm telling you, doesn't matter what we talk about,
12:11
it's always going to be beneficial. So and it's all gonna be perfect.
12:16
So one thing I do want to say is, you know, Bev and
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I been on this journey for quite a while. You know, mine's been
12:26
around twenty years now, a little longer, and I got a lot of
12:31
tools in my toy box to use, the the all the techniques, the
12:35
you know, the meditation, all the things that I know about. And
12:39
even still when something when I get triggered and it hits me pretty you know,
12:43
hard or deep, I get amnesia, Like you forget the tools,
12:48
you forget the techniques, you forget and it's just so funny because I still
12:52
do it too. And and so you know that you get that triggered,
12:58
like it's just like a light switch gets flipped or somebody pushed that button that
13:01
just you know, get your attention and now you're pissed at the world.
13:07
And then yeah, and then you go through the checklist, well, well
13:09
so and so when they did that thirty years ago, you know, and
13:13
you get all that attitude and you just drum all that up. But here's
13:18
the thing, here's the thing. Start asking questions right away, right what
13:24
is this about? What is this for? What? You know? Why
13:28
is this? Kind of like whatever questions you asked, I'm sure we're just
13:31
kind of along the same line, like why is this showing up now?
13:35
What is still in me that needs some healing? Like it may not though,
13:39
be those particular questions that she may have used. However, still asking
13:45
the questions, what is this about? Type of thing? And then you
13:48
know, her partner shows up and starts asking your questions and starts pointing things
13:54
out. And what turned into maybe some hours, because there's probably a few
13:58
hours before the BEV, before the amy before would have been months, right
14:09
we would, and then we would have been mad at the whole world for
14:11
months and and stop communicating, right I would have. I would have stoped
14:16
talking to them all together. That's fine, I can't say anything. And
14:20
it would have shut me down, yep. And that's what I used to
14:22
do too, is shut down I just because one of my traits is I'm
14:28
Cancyrian in my astrology, and so that's what we do, right, We
14:33
pull in. That's our defense mechanism. We pull in and hide and and
14:37
we're not vocal, we're not exposed, we're not vulnerable type of things.
14:43
So a lot of that stuff I had to learn to do. And and
14:48
even there's still times when I'm just like, we gonna pull that back,
14:52
pull my energy back, because I'm not doing whatever's going on out here,
14:58
and and still like, just like you, you know that little girl inside
15:03
doesn't feel safe, so cool, pull back and it's a it's a coping
15:07
mechanism of uh, not wanting to be feel like I'm being attacked or to
15:16
keep myself safe. Right. So yeah, so we still get even in
15:22
our journeys, we still get that amnesia and we forget the tools and we
15:26
have the melt down and get mad. But it's only for minutes or hours,
15:31
it's not weeks, months and years. That's yeah. And and then
15:37
also celebrating the fact that you're like, Okay, something's coming some's stern to
15:43
me and I ain't got's time to take a look at it and see what
15:46
this is all about and do your own process whatever that looks like. Right,
15:50
So you gotta celebrate that too. Yeah, the upset that you got
15:54
triggered, and and and I know you understand this speaking to the audience is
16:00
don't be upset that you got triggered. Don't be upset because that anger button
16:03
got pushed and now you're crying and you're going through this process. No,
16:08
you celebrate the idea that you're like, oh, what's this for? Why
16:14
is this happening for me? Is what are the layers that are coming up
16:18
that I can heal now? Because this happened. Because once I do that,
16:22
that's the more layers that are lifted. It's the more emotion that's lifted
16:26
out of my body that's been still stored in there, and this is a
16:29
way for it to come up and out. So that's a celebration. That's
16:33
not a that's not a and I know you don't do this. It's like,
16:37
this isn't a time to beat yourself up over It's the time to say,
16:40
oh, look how far I've come because bad boom by to being I'm
16:45
moving through this. I'm not staying stuck in it. So that's that's a
16:48
huge difference and a huge acknowledgment. It's so crazy because as you were talking,
16:56
all of a sudden, I always tried to make sure everything was always
16:59
fair, which we the kids. And with that being said, I don't
17:02
think things were always fair between the kids. I didn't know how to you
17:06
don't know how to raise them because everybody's different, right, But then I
17:07
recognize now that even came back from childhood, from my childhood. So it's
17:12
like without having all this experience, I wouldn't it wouldn't have created in asking
17:18
withinside of me, because before it would have been like trying to hide from
17:21
those emotions, right, like those feelings and stuff, because what do you
17:22
do with that information? And then for me to be able with help,
17:26
to be able to trace it back to this has to do with unjustness that
17:30
I felt as that child. So it's and it's like, I'm so thankful
17:34
that it came up with it coming up though my mind. So when I
17:38
went to bed last night, my mind was I was going all the way
17:42
back to basically in Beecher. And I know I've talked about this probably a
17:47
year or two years ago, where I kind of had done something similar.
17:49
But now I'm going back and I'm seeing things, and I'm seeing how my
17:52
parents, how much my parents loved me. I'm going back to the moments
17:56
when I had my first daughter, and how I just I remember just looking
18:00
I just stared at her. Oh my gosh, I couldn't get enough of
18:03
her. I just to smell the baby and the little tiny feet in the
18:07
hands and the features and so much love. And then I started from that
18:12
space. I kept seeing her as she's growing, and every time something happened,
18:17
I was supporting her, I was loving her, I was giving her
18:19
hugs. Now I haven't. That wasn't the case at the time, but
18:25
that doesn't mean that we can't change things. So if I can change that
18:29
withinside of myself, and now I'm not limiting this love now right, I'm
18:33
not holding it back thinking, oh, I didn't give her enough, I
18:36
didn't do this, I wasn't a good enough mom, but on all these
18:40
things. But I can do it now. I can be in that space
18:41
where I can fill that love now and I can embrace that little girl,
18:45
that little child. I can do the same thing with myself because I've I've
18:49
seen myself recently as I think I must have been like I don't know,
18:55
five six years old, for I think probably like five or six years old,
18:57
maybe even seven eight, But I could see myself running around no top
19:02
on, you know, you had your undies on and running out round being
19:06
silly, and it's like that was That was awesome because now I can connect
19:08
with the feelings of that little girl and not hold on to the stories that
19:12
I had. I was holding onto for years and then this stuff that I
19:18
thought I was you know, I didn't. I didn't even process any of
19:21
it. But there's a one and a desire in front of in front of
19:23
me and within me that wants to be and show up better for for everybody
19:30
in my experience, to show up better for my for all my relationships with
19:34
my grandchildren, my children, my partner, my everybody that comes into my
19:41
experience. And that's not something that I would have wanted to have before.
19:44
But it's like, as we do this work, it's like it's and we
19:48
can call it work all day long, but it doesn't feel like work.
19:49
It's it's such a gosh. Man, on the other side of this stuff
19:53
is just freaking fabulous. You know. Then you because you realize how much
19:57
stuff you were holding onto, not even knowing that you were holding onto it
20:02
so hard, you know, not even knowing that I was my ancestors,
20:06
all of us, you know, holding on to things, and it's like
20:07
it's got to stop. It stops right here, It stops with me,
20:11
and it's going to affect my family. Why because that's how I that's my
20:15
intention. That is my intention going into all the things that I'm doing right
20:19
now. And now I'm conscious about my intentions as I'm going into it.
20:22
So now I'm practicing and playing more and more and more. What that looks
20:27
like and now before maybe twenty five years ago, thirty years ago, maybe
20:32
I couldn't have comprehended that. Maybe I didn't think there was ever a problem
20:36
because I really was. I really thought I had my shit together. I
20:40
did not, and I was angry and all that other stuff. So it's
20:45
like, it's just until you stop and slow down and take a look,
20:48
you just don't know. And that's okay, it's okay. It doesn't matter
20:52
when you do it, it doesn't matter if you do it. But for
20:55
me, I had more wants and desires because I want to be better for
20:57
my family. I want to show it better than I did ever. I
21:02
want to be the best version of myself. And that's the beauty of it,
21:06
just like you said, is you do you do your own inner work
21:10
and do your healings so that those those heavy emotions that are typically stored in
21:15
the body for years, uh, when you're when you're releasing that, learning
21:22
to heal, that learning to move through that, which is all history,
21:27
just all experiences that we've had. Man, you show up different in life.
21:34
You just show up different. And I've had so many confirmations and acknowledgments
21:41
over the past out weeks that something happens and the way I show up,
21:47
I'm just like, wow, that was cool, right, Wow, look
21:52
at how I handled that. One didn't get triggered by any of that.
21:57
So you know so, and I'll just give you an example because it just
22:03
happened yesterday. Was at work. So we have this new website program that
22:11
we're all learning, and we're setting up events in there, so utilizing the
22:15
calendar so people can you know, register through that to do events and do
22:19
sponsorships and all the things. So anyway, we're setting it up. But
22:23
as we going through and testing it and stuff, in my head, I'm
22:26
like, this has got to be better. I don't like the way this
22:30
is. There's there's something else that there's there's something needs to change here because
22:33
there's too many steps for somebody to go through. Like I was already processing
22:37
that in my head. Well, uh, a member of the organization was
22:45
interested into being a sponsor. So they went in and they followed all the
22:48
steps. Like I hadn't. I hadn't adjusted it yet, but I knew
22:52
it needed to be adjusted, and so they go through all the steps.
22:56
Well, they went through all the steps, and I think, you know,
22:59
got some information. So anyway, they sent an email. Well,
23:02
the email went to one of the other girls and and she says to me,
23:07
I'm gonna say fred Fred Fred sent an email because he went onto our
23:11
website to be a sponsor or, look at the sponsorships, and he sent
23:19
like a three like total attitude. He sound like a three paragraph email about
23:26
it about our website, like totally uh offended, offended, defensive, you
23:33
know that type of and it's all not that not good enough role, that
23:37
victim role that I'm being attacked or I didn't do it good enough and now
23:45
I'm getting this feedback and it's right. So so that was her response,
23:51
and I said, okay, well just send me the email for the email
23:53
to me so I can read it and see what they have to say whatever.
24:00
So anyway, I sat down and read the email, and I was
24:03
like, first of all, they confirmed one of the things I was already
24:08
thinking about. So I was like, Okay, that's great information, great
24:12
feedback. But it started out the email started out as I know this is
24:18
a new system for you guys, and you're learning, and I know that
24:22
when you're doing something new, or it was said, when I do something
24:26
new, I appreciate feedback, so this is my feedback for you. And
24:33
so one of them confirmed what I was already thinking about needing to change.
24:38
Great, needed that right. And then there was a second piece that I'm
24:44
still contemplating. I think I need to get a little clarity on it.
24:48
But I was like, this is great information, Like I was so thankful
24:52
that they sent it to me. And so my response to my coworker,
24:57
I emailed her back and said, this is really valuable information. I'm so
25:02
glad that they gave it to us. So it's a totally different spin on
25:07
the way she was. She was perceiving the email and then sharing it with
25:11
me from her perspective, And so this is a huge indicator because in that
25:19
victim defensive mode, I would have got into that energy too, like whoa
25:25
what you know and not even have read the email yet, and I would
25:30
have been all balled up about it and in my not good enough store,
25:33
Oh my gosh, we didn't get it perfect, and now we're getting people
25:36
are getting upset, and I would have been a mess before even knowing what
25:41
the email said. And then it would have been I would have been upset
25:45
because I didn't get it perfect, and now they're pointing that out to me,
25:48
and now I'm not good enough, and now you know we suck,
25:52
and now everybody in the town's going to know it. Like this whole huge
25:56
story about it would have just been horrible in my head. But I was
26:00
like, well, send the email to me. I read it. I
26:03
was very thankful, appreciative for the information, and I'm like, Okay,
26:06
now what are we going to do with that information? Right? What am
26:11
I gonna do? Am I? I got this valuable feedback. Now it's
26:14
up to me what I do with it. I was so appreciative of it,
26:17
so so indicators like that of where I'm at with myself, where I'm
26:22
at and how I'm showing up in these different scenarios, and I just I
26:26
even I will just I will just stand there and be like, this is
26:32
so amazing. How cool is it that I just handled this in such an
26:38
awesome way, like not getting offended, not getting defensive, not feeling not
26:44
good enough, not feeling like, oh I wasn't perfect, I didn't get
26:48
it right. It's so freeing. And that is the benefit of doing this
26:56
internal work that Bev and I talk about every single week when you move through
27:00
those those layers that are weighing you down and holding you down. Man,
27:07
it's just so much lighter and so much easier and so much more fun.
27:12
Like my life is more fun now. I mean, I laid in bed
27:15
the other night and I just lay there. I'm like, my life is
27:18
like a thousand percent better than it's ever been, even though there are things
27:23
in my life that still get my attention a little bit. It's like a
27:29
thousand percent better because I'm better and that's what matters. Because I'm better.
27:36
That's awesome and underbody, yeah, and I understand that because I know that
27:41
I've been in a space. I had something. It was an email with
27:48
a situation with a person there. It was the way that was being told
27:51
to me. There was deception and there's all this other stuff. And then
27:53
I started reading it, I'm like, what are you talking about? Like
27:56
where are you guys coming from? And that was a while ago. Even
28:00
now, even my perception is totally different even than then. But it's like,
28:06
it is interesting how we can perceive things and how we can feel things.
28:10
As an attack, it really is our gauge to let us know how
28:12
we're feeling on the inside and it lets us know where we're at. I
28:17
think it's awesome. As soon as you start saying what the email is like,
28:18
I was like, well, yeah, this is freaking awesome, Like
28:22
this is we need this information? You know, this is the inform you
28:25
don't want someone got it? How horrible is that when you keep going and
28:29
going? What if it was like a year down the road and there's they're
28:30
like saying something because nobody ever said anything right when you know, when you
28:34
had a had a filling with inside of you that was guiding you like this
28:37
needs to be shortened. This is a little bit too lengthy and in its
28:41
process and you lose people when they're trying to do this. So it's like
28:45
even you, you were are you already had had that feeling and someone was
28:48
able to put it towards So now you can. I mean you're gonna you're
28:51
probably gonna fix it anyways, but now you even have more justification why it
28:55
needs to be looked at and taking the time to change it, you know,
28:59
have fascinating me because I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks
29:02
now and I'm just like, this is so wild to me. It's just
29:04
so wild, like when I was in my twenty First of all, when
29:07
I was in high school, you know, everybody wants to know, are
29:10
you going to college? We're gonna do what you got to school? What
29:12
are you gonna do for career? And fuck, fine, new I didn't
29:15
know. I didn't know shit. I didn't knew. I knew I didn't
29:19
want to go to college because I was done with school. I just knew
29:22
that, but I had no idea what I was gonna do. Right,
29:25
So, thinking back about that person and where I am today, using artificial
29:30
intelligence, doing marketing, having fun with people just in general, people don't
29:40
even know, having these great conversations, and I'm just like, am I
29:48
really doing? Is this really my life right now? And then I'm like
29:52
so amazed at the things that I'm capable of doing with technology that I'm fifty
29:57
three and and a twenty something year old person is giving me input and I'm
30:04
like, thank you, right, I'm like, yes, now I can
30:07
improve and I'm getting this feedback and it's awesome. It's so cool. I
30:15
don't even I'm amazing myself. I'll tell you, because I'm telling you the
30:19
past couple of weeks, I just stop, and I'm just like, am
30:22
I really doing all this stuff? Because this is the younger version of me.
30:29
I never in a lifetime what I've thought I would be where I'm at.
30:33
Never, because I was so full of anger and resentment and shame and
30:38
guilt and I hated life and I didn't want to be on this planet.
30:44
I thought about suicide every day from fourteen to my mid thirties, and life
30:48
just sucked. It was horrible. And now I'm like, look at me
30:53
today. I love it. I'm just blown away. I don't even know
31:02
I love it. I love it because that's been a lot of what you
31:06
just said was my story as well. And it's like we're not the only
31:07
ones. We've all been out there, and like it's like some days are
31:11
so feel so heavy, but on the other side of everything, you're in
31:15
this place recognizing these things, and then you're appreciating yourself. You're you're appreciating
31:19
yourself from such a different space, and that's loving yourself. That's loving yourself
31:26
and supporting yourself un conditionally, undiluted. It's it's like so much perfection and
31:33
it just gets better and better and better, and then when the little things
31:36
pop up. They're just little things now. Even if it was such an
31:38
impact on your life, they're little things now because they just kind of it's
31:42
like a little puff comes up and it's like, okay, we're done.
31:45
Yeah, I know I make it found sound a little too fairy, airy
31:48
fairy, but it's really that you remember the candy cigarettes with the paper wrapper
31:53
and had the powder in it, and you go and it goes exactly exactly.
32:01
But that's like being a kid, right though. These are the things
32:04
to remember. This is the stuff that's important for us, and I think
32:07
it gets overlooked, It gets put aside. That's there's no value to it,
32:12
it feels like to a lot of people. And it's like there's like
32:15
all the value is there, Like unpack it and see what comes out of
32:19
it, right, Yeah. And I had to love myself enough to do
32:22
that when I otherwise I could keep myself busy forever honestly trying to show my
32:29
worth or my value or whatever. And something I've noticed recently too, we're
32:34
not I'm not in a before it was like we could fix things like I
32:37
could, people could come in, I can get an instant you know,
32:39
instant fixes. It seems like a lot a lot of the stuff, like
32:44
maybe resolve some issues in their body. We'll just use that as for the
32:46
massage or whatever. But I'm noticing it's not things are changing because it's not
32:52
up to someone else to fix your stuff anymore. It has to be you
32:55
working on yourself. You can't just smooth things over all the time just to
33:00
sue that just so you can deal with things right this moment that you have
33:02
to really start looking at yourself. It's I mean, really it's important the
33:08
time friend, huh, I said where the band aids? Where where the
33:15
And I can't do it anyhow. Yeah, And it's just not for me
33:19
to do anymore. It's just not it's just it just is not. And
33:22
that's that's the been the realization lateliness, and it's I'm good with that.
33:28
I'm good with that. Before it would have been frustrated me because I was
33:30
people pleasing and you know, and I don't want anyone to leave and they're
33:34
not feeling better, blah blah blah blah. My stories that I tell myself.
33:37
But it's like recognizing it's not up to me. It's not up to
33:40
me, it's up to that individual. Now when they come to you,
33:44
or when they come to me, if they want to explore these things,
33:47
you know, just like I, I'm so lucky to have the amazing partner
33:51
that I have. You know, my boyfriend is we get to talk about
33:54
these things, and he knows how to not trigger me, which is great,
33:58
but he also knows how to try and he knows that what love is
34:00
kind of trigger, which is great because I'm telling you, if we weren't
34:05
triggered, if we didn't have these emotional feelings, we wouldn't know that stuff
34:07
was still there, being left unattended, messing up, just like it's like
34:13
having It's like being in your basement and the window got Well, you're you
34:16
won't have a window in your basement, but let's just go to the attic.
34:21
Get over it, okay, people. So we're in and the windows
34:23
open, it's like you're someone opened up boxes and like the wind's blowing it
34:27
around. It's like shit is everywhere, and it's it doesn't have to feel
34:30
that way. And that's how really, that's how it felt when I first
34:34
started doing this stuff, because there was ship everywhere. It's like, where
34:37
do you start, right? Where do you start with that you me start
34:39
with whatever comes up first, one thing at a time. Yeah. The
34:44
people will show up to help you figure that out. They will. Yeah
34:49
those let me push your buttons. Yeah yeah, And I had lots of
34:52
them and they were very much Yeah, and I'm not a cancer, I'm
34:57
a taurust so and so my emotions, Yeah, I'm the I'm not gonna
35:00
freaking come through there with my like that, right, I get that,
35:09
but still having emotions on the sleeve because Panna, everybody knew. I mean,
35:14
people think that they're hiding stuff, but they're not. And and that's
35:16
a that's something big to look at too, because if we think that we're
35:21
we're keeping all these things underwrap withinside of us, there it come. It
35:25
can come through in so many different ways. It just depends on who the
35:28
person is. A crossromview that's perceiving from their own filtration system, from their
35:32
own system telling them, Oh, that person feels like they're being deceptive or
35:36
they're not being honest, Well they're not, and they may be doing nothing
35:38
wrong at all. It's just simply they don't know how to maybe put things
35:43
in the words you've helped. I've had a few people that have actually been
35:46
in my life that have helped me to identify these emotions and be able to
35:51
put it into words, to have an understanding. And for some reason that's
35:53
been beneficial for me because it seems like it's easier to release because I have
35:59
an understanding of it. I could, I could have understanding of it,
36:02
you know, I could acknowledge that it was it's just even like tracing stuff
36:06
back to my girl. But I'm building it differently. That was the way
36:15
that I had to Now, building it differently, I'm from the way that
36:17
to build it from that release face. Right, we'll go back to the
36:22
gifts, right, but we all got these gifts. We we could all
36:25
have the same things, but where we have these own filtration systems that we've
36:29
had experiences. So we're going to use those gifts probably differently than other people.
36:32
But it's like I'm going back to the space and I'm reactivating all my
36:37
stuff because I stepped it all away because we weren't. No you didn't hear
36:40
that, No you didn't see that. No you didn't have that experience.
36:44
We always it was always and it wasn't because they were bad. It was
36:47
just because they had no idea what to do with it because they had been
36:50
just disconnected from themselves at an early age, and so it's like we're just
36:55
I'm learning to be the opposite of that so much so, and so I
37:00
always can't putting seeds into the kids. You know, I'm talking to them,
37:02
I'm telling them about my ideals. Not always right, no, but
37:07
it's like it's a different perspective, and it feels more peaceful, it feels
37:10
more loving. My attentions to more love. And it's like, you know,
37:15
we started missed a while to Freeman and I had had a conversation found
37:20
together more dinners, and I had mentioned to the kids to my niece,
37:24
and it's like they organized it. So now we're gonna we're getting together late
37:29
to have like these family dinners, this get together and and that's wonderful to
37:35
having my son. My grand hips were outside with I guess she's my first
37:43
I don't know, get lost, she said about something grandson's trying to do.
37:51
He says, you know, to have easy spirits. He's still with
37:57
and because she was now a little lone, was crying because her moved to
38:02
new school so she doesn't get to see her friend using her and she's said,
38:07
so he's he's like, where are you there? Are you there?
38:27
Yeah? Yeah, that was weird. Sorry about that. That's why through
38:32
a cycle and then it's being huh go ahead. Oh. I was the
38:42
same with my sons to super, trying to give her a positive assion,
38:45
like her friend's still alike and here, and she's like, he's like,
38:50
well, my grandpa Jim, he's in heaven and you know he's still here
38:53
in spirits, and so your friends still here south her in vice that he
38:59
knows how And it was just kind of awesome. And I started to correct
39:02
him, and I thought, you know, luck, he's not wrong,
39:06
because we're all in spirit, we're all the big portion of us. It
39:09
is not even in the physical vessel. Oh I think we lost her.
39:17
So oh there she is there you are. Yeah, I'm not sure what's
39:25
happening here. It's telling us about I just looking at the clock at six
39:37
twenty four and that's one of my my numbers. So uh now I'm all
39:46
miscombobulated, but whatever, who cares. It was I've never seen something like
39:53
that ever. So you're watching, You're welcome, this is live, this
40:00
is and we don't I don't edit our our conversations ever, Like I don't
40:07
ever edit our conversations. They are what they are. Either love us and
40:12
the way it is and the way we show up, or you don't.
40:14
So I am not in a space of being perfect or expecting perfectionism or getting
40:20
upset because the Internet is wacky. I you know what, if that was
40:24
the worst thing I had to worry about today, I'm great. I'm more
40:30
than great. So it's like, this is life, and we know that
40:35
internet. There's Internet issues, and we know that things happen, and how
40:40
are you going to show up about it? Like I could get all worked
40:44
up and be all concerned and be all in a frenzy, or I can
40:47
just roll with it and be like, you know what this is, this
40:51
is the way it is, This is life, and and you get to
40:54
decide. You get to decide how you show up in life. So if
41:01
you're still in the in the who I had a conversation with the lady at
41:06
work the other day and she said she's taking these courses and she took she
41:14
she just got done with a super difficult class that was difficult for her.
41:21
And when she explained it to me, I'm like, yeah, I probably
41:23
I probably would have got a big fat F in that class because the thing
41:28
she was telling us was wild. So anyway, I sat with her and
41:32
she was telling me I got an A in that class, and I said,
41:36
okay, well, how do you feel about it? And she's proud
41:37
of herself and and she goes, but I don't know why I'm doing this
41:42
to myself. I am, I'm taking these classes and I could be okay
41:49
with a certificate, but I feel like I need to get that associates degree
41:53
and I don't know why. And I don't know why I'm doing And I
41:57
said, can I asked you a question? And they already know me,
42:00
Like at work, they already know me, they know what I do.
42:04
They so I always now you know, I'm I'm respectful because if somebody says
42:08
no, then I just I'm like okay. But I said, can I
42:13
ask you a question? I said, you, I don't want you to
42:15
answer it, I want you to ponder it. I said, who are
42:19
you still trying to get love and acceptance from? Who are you still trying
42:22
to get approval from? And it's not anybody in your life right now?
42:27
Because she even says she's like I'm the only one that's putting this pressure on
42:30
myself. I'm the only one that's judging myself. I said, yeah,
42:34
who are you still trying to get approval from? And it's not anybody in
42:37
your life right now, it's somebody from your childhood. Who are you still
42:42
seeking approval from? Because nobody, nobody in this office, nobody here is
42:50
putting any kind of pressure on you to get a degree or take these classes.
42:58
And she's like, oh, I have to think about that. So
43:01
that's just it. If you're still living in perfectionism and not good enough seeking
43:10
acceptance, seeking approval, who are you trying to prove yourself worthy enough to
43:16
get that love and acceptance from. And it's not the people in your life
43:22
right now, it's somebody from childhood. Now, if your parents are still
43:25
alive, it's probably one of them. And if they're still in your life,
43:29
I get it what I'm saying. It's not those people today, it's
43:32
those people from whatever fifty sixty years ago, eighty years ago, twenty years
43:37
doesn't matter. The significant adults in your life when you're a child, and
43:45
those are the those are the some of the layers that need some attention for
43:50
some healing. Because I'm the only one I need to prove good enough to
43:54
I'm it. I don't need to prove it to my husband, or my
43:58
son, or my mother, or my friends or my coworkers. It's me.
44:04
I need to love and accept myself. I am the only one that
44:07
needs my approval because at any time any of them could be gone, whether
44:13
they move away, go in a different direction, they transition back into spirit.
44:19
I have no controller over any of that. And if I'm not getting
44:22
their love and approval and then they're gone, then now I got to seek
44:25
somebody out to fill that role. That's exhausting, and I know it because
44:30
I did it for so many years. I am the only one that needs
44:34
to do that. I am the only one that needs to look in the
44:37
mirror every morning or every day and say, you know what, I really
44:40
love you, and I'm so proud of how far you've come and all the
44:44
things that you have done and all the accomplishments that you've made, and look
44:47
at you about technology and artificial intelligence and all the things that you are you
44:53
can do. I have to be that person, not better, not anybody
45:00
watching these videos. It's nobody. It's nobody's job. It's mine and it's
45:06
Bev's job for her. It's your job for you. That's it. It's
45:12
you and you. That's the contract. It's you and you in this life
45:16
till you take your last breath. Do I just roll with it. I
45:23
just rolled with it because I'm not sure what all was going on over here.
45:28
But if you have anything else to say about what you were talking about
45:30
or what I just said, then I think that's perfect. It's all.
45:35
I think it's all work perfectly. It's all divine. Yeah, you know
45:42
that. And as soon as it froze up. For anybody, whatever they
45:45
were thinking or painting, it's an opportunity to recognize they just got a sign.
45:51
Yeah, here's your assignment. Yeah. I listened to your reading and
45:58
stuff like that. And it's funny when I'll hear you're talking and all of
46:00
a sudden you hear blair in the background, or you hear a siren go
46:04
by, because it's trying to get your attention, right, So it's being
46:07
attention what you is at the time, it's you know what nerves is it?
46:12
You happen to see something, what do you know? So when it's
46:14
a firefighter you know, like there's so many different things that are going on,
46:16
right then it's an opportunity. And I love the us. This is
46:22
the way it is. Sometimes it's because we just we show up and just
46:30
let it be. Whatever it's going to be, have to be perfect,
46:31
because we've already we've I've been the thing. I don't do it anymore.
46:37
I still find myself occasionally, not really, sometimes I find myself in a
46:42
space not really, it's nothing like it, because at once I started to
46:46
say that create that story. I gave that well story, and it's like
46:50
it's not there anymore. Yeah, yeah, and it And then again that's
46:54
the freedom of it. That's the freedom of doing the some healing work,
47:00
some moving through those emotions, forgiveness those people that were jerks, you know,
47:07
raising you that you're still angry at. It just really creates freedom within
47:16
yourself because you're not bogged down by all of that. One of the one
47:22
of the I wrote about this in The Wild Woman's Book of Prosperity, and
47:28
I used a hot air balloon as an example. So hot air balloon to
47:32
so it doesn't fly away, right, it has to be tethered to the
47:36
ground. Well, think about those ropes that it's hanging or holding that hot
47:42
air balloon down. How many ropes are tied to you, holding you down?
47:50
And for me, it was the anger and the shame and the guilt
47:52
and the criticism and the judgments, all of that. It was the abuse
48:00
of stepfather number one, the abusive stepfather number two. It was it was
48:05
the biological father that left before I was born. It was a person who
48:09
molested me. It was the boyfriends who got what they wanted and then didn't
48:15
talk to me again. Right, So all of those things, the emotions
48:19
and the experiences and the people are all one of those ropes that's holding me
48:23
down because and that can't fly. But when those are let go, right,
48:30
we unhook those ropes and then all of a sudden lift off, there's
48:36
the freedom. I'm not weighed down anymore. From that, Do things still
48:42
come up, Yes, absolutely, and it probably will until I take my
48:45
last breath, and I know that. But still, again, using the
48:51
example of Bev from earlier in this conversation, it's minutes and hours, it's
48:57
not weeks, months and years. It's like, Joe, I need to
49:00
take care of this right now, or as soon as I can because I
49:05
know this is one more pet, one more rope. I get to let
49:07
go one more rope, I get to unhook so that my hot air balloon
49:15
can go higher. And what's the love say every single week? The C
49:22
word we say every single week. Choice, It's a choice. It's all
49:31
a choice. I want to see it when you're feeling crappy and you're having
49:36
a reaction of things, recognizing that there's that going on, and I have
49:42
a lot of internal dialogue. There's a lot of internal conversation that's happening all
49:45
the time now all the time, but it's not the chatter that it used
49:50
to be or the stuff that gather my mind would talk about. We don't
49:55
have to go there, but there's so much crazy stuff and it's like now
50:00
it's like is that shown up? Or you know the same thing right along
50:02
with conversation, I'm recognizing that it's not any of the job to make me
50:09
happy, not recognizing I have recognized it to nobody else. To me,
50:16
it's such a meeting. Have an idea, you know, I'm going to
50:21
step going and visualizing how different, how I'm different in those times those in
50:30
the life, and recognizing how I can create from them for myself, because
50:37
what are now? The question that keeps coming up is who am I?
50:44
Who am I? Who am I minus all the teachings that I've received in
50:47
my whole life? Who am I? Minus all the commercials I've heard?
50:51
Who am I? Minus the watching the soap operas or the or the teachers,
50:58
or the or the grandparents who all that? Who am I? Beyond
51:01
all their energy? And it's really I'm exploring a lot of these things and
51:07
seeing how it comes up. But I also know what these when you ask
51:09
questions you get that's coming in, but it's been coming in divine. Really,
51:17
it's all divine. That's so funny. So on my end, you're
51:22
you're breaking up in and out and okay, still kind of hear some of
51:28
what you said. But when you said who am I? It was clear's
51:30
day, clear's day. Every time you said it, who am I?
51:35
And it was it was so clear, And that got a little garbled.
51:37
And then when you said divine, clear as day. So like those key
51:42
words that you're hearing, BEV say I if you're having a hard time hearing
51:46
her that those words that you're hearing absolutely clearly, those are significance, just
51:53
like what she was saying a while ago, when you're when you're getting a
51:58
reading, but they're are listening to uh podcast who they're doing a reading on
52:02
cards, and but in the background you can hear a siren or you can
52:06
hear annoy, Like, those are the moments to pay attention because those are
52:10
key things that that are that are getting your attention. And it's just like
52:15
what she just said, who am I? It was so clear. I
52:20
was like, well, that was cool. And then it was Garla and
52:22
it was like divine and it was like damn, I'm like, oh,
52:27
write that down to divine. Yep, that's fact I say, because I
52:37
think everything in spirit. But it's so spirit God, I love it.
52:40
Yeah. To me, it's perfect. So you hear exactly what you need
52:45
to hear. Yeah, And so I am gonna say it's it's it's it's
52:50
tough to hear you in and out. So we'll just kind of keep this
52:52
short. But I think what has been shared has been significant enough that you
53:00
know, you guys can go and review this and listen to it over and
53:04
over and still get a lot of content, a lot of information, a
53:07
lot of valuable information. That's gonna help you. So and you know what,
53:13
it's just it's just life, and it's okay. So I'm over it,
53:17
man, I'm like, celebrate the fact that Bev and I are even
53:22
here doing this, because our old selves would be like, fuck, no,
53:28
I'm not doing that. I'm not exposing myself to the world. Are
53:32
you kidding me? For them to for them to judge us. Yeah,
53:37
And look, so I say, okay, we're gonna cut it short.
53:40
And now you're showing up clear as day. Oh my gosh, this is
53:44
so funny. It's cracking me up. It's time to wrap it up.
53:46
It is. I'm getting the messages. It's just so funny. I'm like,
53:52
okay, well, kaikut short and now you're just like you're here now
53:57
and it's cleared. Oh my god, this is this is so funny to
54:00
me. So anyway, well we'll go ahead and call it, and you
54:06
know, take whatever pieces of information you got from this to implement into your
54:12
own life. Celebrate those moments, you know what, I like, Celebrate
54:15
those moments you get triggered, Celebrate those moments that you cry, Celebrate those
54:22
moments that you get angry, because it's just information. It's just information coming
54:25
up and out of your body, and it's saying, Okay, it's time
54:29
to look at this and heal it. It's time to look at this and
54:30
release it. It's time to look at this and see the value of it
54:35
and recognize the things in your life that you went through that were there for
54:39
teaching moments, not moments for you to be a victim to, not moments
54:44
of you to surrender to your circumstances. Those were moments for you to grow
54:50
and learn. But we all know we weren't given that information. We weren't
54:53
taught that then. But now you're being taught that now, and now is
54:59
a good time. Now is a good time to make a change. Now
55:02
is to take this information and utilize it so you can free yourself. It's
55:08
now, you don't you don't. It's like you know, the diet.
55:12
It's like, don't wait till New Year's don't wait till Monday. It's now.
55:17
You just start. And it's the same thing with your healing process.
55:22
You just start, and so take what you can utilize and implement now,
55:29
and then you can add more things later, but at least just start.
55:35
You got to have a starting point. And I want to add one thing
55:38
to that. I heard something that was said the other day. Is this
55:42
one day or is this day one? Yeah, it's totally your choice.
55:46
It's totally your choice. It's day one, day one. It's them that's
55:53
right. And I was as clear as could be as when we started BEV
55:59
You're absolutely and that was great. So apparently that was important for everybody here,
56:04
and I hope they heard it and they take it. So this is
56:07
day one, So woo, thanks for being here, sister. I love
56:15
you, I love your face, and I appreciate you each and every week
56:19
that we have these sessions because we always we benefit from it whether anybody else
56:23
does. So we know it's a selfish reason why we show up, but
56:27
you know what it's. We know it's it's good for others. So share
56:32
us, let other people know we're doing these let them know that our content
56:37
is unedited and sometimes it's a little garbled, and I don't care. I
56:44
think it's awesome because you know what, a lot of it has to do
56:50
with perfectionism, and we don't need to be perfect. We're not perfect,
56:55
and nor do we need to strive to be perfect, because that's exhausting and
57:00
it's too much pressure. So I'm like, simple and ease and flow and
57:05
let's have fun now. Like I'm moving, I've moved more in that direction
57:08
and I'm embracing that more and more. So I'm in a one year and
57:13
this is interesting because I just dropped in. I'm in a one year and
57:15
I'm creating my foundation, so this is important for me this year. So
57:21
there you have it. That just came right in. I'm like, oh,
57:23
okay, I need to say this. I love that. Do you
57:29
have any final works? No, Day one, that's it. Day one.
57:35
That's it's day one. It's very impacting, it's impactful, right yeah,
57:43
absolutely, all right, my friends, thanks for hanging out with us.
57:45
Tea time with Amy and bav. We will see you next time. Bye,