Latest / One Voice Many Conversations / Crushing Strongholds #058 Special Guest Debra Griffin-"Why Judas was Born to Betray Jesus"

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Crushing Strongholds #058 Special Guest Debra Griffin-"Why Judas was Born to Betray Jesus" · One Voice Many Conversations

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, everyone.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another great episode of Crushing Strongholds.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is a podcast where we turn pain into power, trauma into triumph, and a place where we get to expose the lives of the enemy.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: And how do we do that?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: We do that by sharing testimonies of people's walks and how they have conquered and crushed strongholds of their own.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: So they have an amazing, wonderful guest coming aboard today.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to sit and have a conversation and um a lot of a lot that we could dive into and ask.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um this lady is um wonderful.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: She has founded her own um PPX tech um foundation, which is basically um uh patient provider exchange and helping people to um basically um have the rights given to them to control their own medical records, which I think is wonderful.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: She also uh was the the administrator over a hospital, which has to be a huge, amazing task.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: I can only imagine uh what kind of job that is, um, as well as also um two-time cancer survivor, breast breast cancer survivor.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so um this lady also is an author, and she wrote a book.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not gonna give that title away because I want her to talk about it.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I have several questions to ask about this book.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: So let's welcome in Deborah Griffin to um Crushing Strongholds.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: And Deborah, welcome in and why don't you come and tell us a little bit about yourself?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, uh Mickey, for this opportunity to come and share with uh your audience um my walk with Christ, because everything is linked uh to uh walking uh with Christ.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um back in the day, I uh was administrator probably for 40 years over two, three uh rural hospitals.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and that that was uh a wonderful uh journey.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um I looked at it like putting puzzle pieces together, and uh that got me through that.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll start with the uh cancer diagnosis, if you'll allow me, uh, in '89.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I was I I was diagnosed, I was 30 years old, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I didn't know anyone who had had breast cancer because of my small world.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean there was nobody out there.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And in my family, there's been nobody since me.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: But um what it what it did for me is I think we all know that we're going to die and at some point, and and we but we don't know when and where.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a defining moment for me because that would that to me that was my when and where.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I um was brought up in the church, but at that particular time I was a sinner from hell.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't say I was a bad person, but I was a sinner from hell, in my in my view.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was not serving Christ, or I wasn't acknowledging that I was servicing, uh servicing him, uh servicing him.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what his thoughts would have been like that, but the report that I got from the radiologist was um uh, you know, not cancer, narcissistic, but you know, don't worry about it, just come back in six months.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: That was a good report for me, I thought.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and uh took him at it at at his word that you know that I would be okay and six months would would not harm me.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I got home that night and uh I did not know the person of the Holy Spirit.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I can't even recall that I can say I had an encounter with him a time before, but I had a conversation and it wasn't a good conversation.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the more I talk about it, the less I maybe can can draw from the conversation.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I could say that it was an audible voice, but at that time in that in that space, I thought it was audible, but it wasn't an audible voice, or maybe it was a quiet still a voice in my in my inner inner sides.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but he basically told me, I gotta get it out.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can't wait.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: You got to get it out, you can't wait.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I argued with it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor said this.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is what he said, you know, and I didn't want to do this, and the doctor said this.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: The only reason during that time that I gave into that was because I was tired.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had had a you know a long day.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was in the evening, wanted to go to bed, and I acquiesced and said, Okay, I'll I'll I'll I'll work to get it out.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and uh went to the uh local hospital, one of the local hospitals here.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: They called the doctor that I was uh using and he said, I'm your OBGYN, I'm not your surgeon, you need a surgeon for this.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Yeah, I should have known, but I didn't, and you know, there was no condemnation.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a friend who was a surgeon uh and also had some admitted privileges at the hospital that I was currently at.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I went over his house and he felt it and he said, Well, what do you want me to do?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I want to get it out.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I said, because that's what I was told to get it out, but I did not want to go to a bigger hospital, be put under general and all that other stuff.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And uh he followed me back to uh the hospital about an hour and a half, and him and the team did it under local, but after that procedure, I had a dark forebrooding over myself.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And because uh it was a small hospital, the the pathology uh was a consultant pathology, and I knew it was going to take two days, you know, I would get it back that Wednesday.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I walked in that, I walked uh in that or through that, I will say.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but when the pathologist called me, he said, Are you sitting down?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, grabbed a chair.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I am now.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And his name is Dr.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Gonzalez.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember his first name, but it was grace and mercy that he gave to me.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: He gave me hours worth of teaching on my tumor type, how that tumor uh pathology uh uh moved forward.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: He he told me what he thought I should be doing, uh, and a whole lot of stuff that helped me advocate for myself, but in a gist saved my life, literally.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and that night I went to that hospital, got admitted, and the next day I had a uh a procedure.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was a lumpectomy then.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and this and the surgeon that uh did the um the first biopsy, he also did the lumpectomy, and he you know he consulted with various doctors and and I and I went through that.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, wish I had had the mammogram, but I mean the massectomy because I had about four or five reoccurrence, not of cancer, but of knots that would make you go back in and have biopsies.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: But that's that that saved my life and and it got me thinking that my God knows the beginning from the you know, the end from the beginning.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I didn't have enough noodle in my head to think about, you know, why was I granted that grace through the encounter of the Holy One to get it out?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that that was life-saving uh for me.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And through that process, uh I became a vocal advocate for myself.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not married, so I didn't have anybody on that side to advocate, had no children, still don't.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And my my parents worked, so I didn't bring them into that, you know.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was just me, it was my journey by myself and the Holy One.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and uh after the uh radiation, uh, I did three months of radiations.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I drove an hour and a half one way to get that procedure, and then I went back to work.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: I drove back and went to work.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: But one time I remember when they had marked me up and they were giving me my first radiation uh treatment.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And and and please remember that I wasn't much in Christ, he was much into me, but I wasn't much into him.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And they uh had me all tied down and strapped down, and then when I was where they wanted to me to be in the camera, uh, because you know, radiation hit it pinpoints where it's going to uh send um uh treatment to, and they pushed the button and they all ran out.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And my first inclination was to run out too, but I couldn't, I was strapped down to the table.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: But there again, grace and mercy uh uh uh availed, and I'm like, God, you know, I'm I'm gonna have to uh lean in on you, and I did, uh, and even start confessing some things about what that radiation would do, you know, hit what it needed, but not the things that it shouldn't, and if it did, then it would regenerate it.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: But that journey gave me uh a reintroduction to my my relationship with Christ from a child early on.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and uh and uh after the radiation, uh I was here alone, afraid, thinking I was gonna die in two months, uh, based on what some of the stuff that I was getting.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I I told the uh nurse at the uh the director of nurse at the hospital, I said, if the amulets come to Jackson, let me know.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: She says, What do you want?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I want to ride back with them.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm coming back to work.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna work out of my bed at the hospital.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: She said, I'll come and get you.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And she did.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that was grace and mercy because I found myself uh being taken care of, but also staying busy.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I found myself going to the bedside table with the Gideon Bible because I didn't own one.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had all of the other crap, but not a Bible, and reading and finding some understanding to the word.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because before then I could get no revelation, no understanding.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't say it wasn't any, I just think my head was not in it, and that's why I didn't have the understanding.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and at some point during my time uh at the hospital working out of my bed, uh I decided to reinvite Christ back into my life, you know, better than what I had and a better understanding.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I just said, I'm not doing man's uh traditions and man's isms and man's religions, relationship with Christ, yes, but not all of the stuff that comes with some of the package deals that you get.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that was the moment that I gave myself over to him, thanked him for what he had done for me, and started walking this journey out differently.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And my advocacy for myself uh paid off, but it also solidified my uh belief that appropriate health care, specifically America, but everywhere else on this earth, should be a basic human right.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Appropriate health care.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and my advocacy, uh, I think is the reason that I'm here because I did not take the chemo.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I did not say I was against the chemo, but we're talking about 89 and the technology that was available at the time.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the things that they were talking to me was maybe this will happen, maybe that will happen, maybe this will happen.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I refused it.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And my doctor told me I couldn't, the oncologist.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I told him, Yeah, I can.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: You you you know, it's a standard of care that you have to offer me, and I appreciate that, but I can refuse it.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I'm not against the chemo.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to know that what is fighting, because if I do have some things coming back that manifest themselves, that round of chemo would be more effective than having it and not the second time.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and that also helped me um get to the point of trying to figure out the resources of America and the health resources, where do they go?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I think uh most of them are spent on maybe 25% of the people, uh, but we still have these uncontrollable costs.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought that that was a priority as an American citizen of controlling costs and uh balancing budgets.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: But uh I got an awareness during COVID that I was naive and ignorant in that space.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, I don't, I don't try to, you know, you know, uh, you know, add nothing in that space or control in that space.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just try to go for it.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think everybody needs an opportunity for uh uh care in America.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I started advocating why.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I did not have my medical records then, even though with the federal law way back then I was entitled to read them.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that night that I laid trembling in my bed, they I wanted to see what they're written by me.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: They wouldn't let me see it.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: They eventually gave me something, and that's how the concept of uh PPX Tech, patient provider exchange came up.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this was this was done in 2013, 2014, and I've yet to commercialize, but there's been a lot of efforts moved movement in that space.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I dare say I was a pioneer uh in that space.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was I was invited a couple of times to CMS's office because you know they they only they pay a large portion of care, but they also do the the laws, the mandate.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I I think I learned that they were picking me, they weren't interested in leveraging me or helping me in that space, just picking me.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then when COVID came, some things fell down.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: But um I I just want the audience to understand that whatever they're going through, what whatever points they're in, there's nothing in their life that could keep God from loving loving them, and loving them meaning providing what they need at that time.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, our time is different.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're in the microwave time, I'm in the microwave time.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Even in 89, I was in the microwave time.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I don't know all the answers, but I know that his word is true.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know that he's no respective person.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know that he loves me no more than he loves anybody else.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if he came to Little Lowly Me and had that conversation, and I've had several with him on various things that he talks to other people where they are.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think I had the conversation because he knew my personality.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: He knew that he had to make himself real to me for me to have an ear and an eye.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and I'm grateful, I'm grateful for that.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: But other people, you know, get ministered ministered to in different ways because they believe a trust in another way um in in in the Godhead, the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm wondering if um with you having working in the hospital and having, you know, some your foot in that door in that realm in that area, uh if that also helped with the the decisions that you made as you went, because um, for one, God's speaking to you and saying, hey, get this out now, and then you going, okay, this is the route I'm gonna take instead of doing all of these complex things, I'm gonna just go over here and do this.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you were able to do that.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think someone that didn't have that open door where you, you know, you know, played that part where you're administering in the hospital, where other people wouldn't be able to be able to go that avenue.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think that that helped you um in that journey?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I think advocacy uh is is uh important for everyone, regardless of you know what their their um life calling is.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that helped me make make a decision.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Gonzalez's hour is priceless, even sitting here is priceless because he gave me some knowledge in that space to help me with decisions of what I wouldn't do, what I wanted to do, or what I didn't agree with the physicians for it.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know that the physicians and specialists all kinds, they bring a wealth of knowledge because they've been through all of this training, but they're not God.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're not Christ, they're not the holy one.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: They know in a measure of their training.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And and I I needed something done outside of the measure.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think people sometimes forget that they have the same problems that we have.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're just doctors with those same problems, and maybe even bigger, larger problems because of the space that they hold and the lives, the life that they can lead in terms of what resources they can bring to their families and stuff.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: But uh it did, it made a difference.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and uh that's that's one of the reasons that I believe uh that uh patients at some point should have their whole entire holistic decentralized record and they should be able to share it with anybody because people need information to make decisions.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the doctors, a lot of them have made paths to treatment based on what they thought on symptoms and stuff.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that that didn't lead didn't didn't do well for everybody, maybe for some, but not uh not not for everybody.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the healthcare uh system in in America is uh is phenomenal.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the technol technological advances uh grow by leaps and bounds, but that's the strength.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: The weakness is that the hybrid system, uh funded by public and private, commercial and the and the public government, creates silos and data silos uh create fragmented care.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Fragmented care creates lots of costs and wasted costs, but also lives lost.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that was that was the divide that I was trying to um conquer and cover from my from my from my space.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think the worst thing in the world is when someone stands and tells you you have breast cancer, you have cancer, period.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you get that, that's a shock to you, but you don't hear all of the other things that he's saying or she's saying, and you don't have the questions that you have for them at that time, you know, because you're just trying to process that word and and and get pieces of it.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think everybody needs to be able to look at their reports, all of those reports, and and and then go back and ask questions.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: And there are a lot of pieces that are in place now, uh, in terms of inoperability, because that's what it's called, that wasn't in place when I was going through this, uh, and uh and was the foundation of me developing in that space.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was also the foundation of being invited to uh Woodlawn, Maryland, to see CMS to um to uh show them, demonstrate what we had um had uh thought of and created and developed in that space.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um and whatever decisions led, I've been there four times, CMS twice, HMS twice, well five times, and uh ONC once.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I I I did not get the get the assistance that I think other people would have gotten.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I think all things work out for the good, you know, one way or the other.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: I also like um, you know, that you brought a you know a really good point to table is that God is on the respecter of persons, and um, he doesn't think any less or more of you than he does anybody else.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I I talk to people and and you know, I've actually heard people and I've I've actually had people question and say, well, why does God do this for this person but not for that person?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: And and and and I trying to explain to him that God is not a respecter of persons can be very difficult at times because in their mind they they've already they've already conjured up um the belief that he is.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's kind of hard to argue that with people because they they've already come to that conclusion.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um I absolutely, you know, the word says he's not a respecter of persons for one.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um that it's spoken right in the word for two.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um we we make him a respecter of persons, he doesn't make himself that.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: And people don't realize there's two two flips to the coin, you know, who's doing the what, you know, behind the scenes.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know, I I never can I will never say what why things happen because I don't know.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: We only I I walk in a measure.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, maybe it's our confession, maybe it's our belief, maybe it's our will.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, people say I, you know, some things are for for for foreordained.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I I don't know.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna argue it to that.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then doing the teachings that I have, which I'm not, I'm in Christ, but I'm not churched.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, I I was taught about you know angels and dispens the angels, and I'm I'm not making bringing that into this conversation as a doctrine.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm just saying, I just think that what you need Christ has for you, even if you have to meet him in another way.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And only I guess you and him have to decide what that way is.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I I walked through some horrible things, and I'm grateful that God helped me navigate some of those passes.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I I can tell you, no matter what you're doing in your life or what you've done that you think that God wouldn't be satisfied, he wouldn't, he might not, but he wouldn't withhold any of his his grace and mercy or his healing powers or anointing from you at all.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he doesn't have a withholding tank.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, he bestows every single promise that's in the Bible is for all of us, not just for one of us.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I I explain to people, you know, sometimes God doesn't give you every single promise in the Bible because you wouldn't know what to do with it if he gave it to you.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we don't we don't know what to do with certain things, you know, and certain certain certain circumstances and situations that arise.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, God knows what we can and cannot handle, by the way.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: He knows He knows us inside and out where we think we know ourselves inside and out, but He knows us fully.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and um even those even those those that have cancer or don't have cancer.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I was told I had cancer, found out it was benign, I did not have cancer.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've had 18 major surgeries and have almost died four times on the table.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um why I remember asking God, why am I you know, why am I still here after all of that?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um I've had nothing but medical, medical, medical issues, you know.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I would just go to the doctor and I'd be like, here we go again, you know.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, and um and they'd be like, wow, you you've had a lot of you have a lot of medical history, and I don't even have all my medical history, like you said, it's it's here, there, and all over from all these different doctors.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: And to try to piece it together, one doctor said, if I just had a little bit more information, I might be able to do a little bit better job.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I loved his honesty.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, if I could, if I could get that doctor to release the medical information, that'd be great, but I still haven't been able to get him to do it.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe you can do it, you know.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: And we just had, you know, to talk about it.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: But um, he's like, it's kind of detrimental to your health that you know kind of, you know, all of these procedures that you had.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's helpful for other physicians to know what they that you've had because when they go inside of you and they and something's been done to you and it's not a normal situation in there, we're we're gonna mess up.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: We can mess up.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: It could be very bad.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: And some doctors won't work on you if they know that you've had certain surgeries because they don't know what they're diving into.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: And and and and that that's that's that's the gist of it, because you know, they they got to come up with a treatment path.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if they got more information, they can make a better treatment pass, or they're consulting other doctors.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I because um I had my um um uh a lumbectomy, and I went, they went back in so many times, and every time they came, they said, well, we got to go in and do surgery.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that was another surgical period, you know, uh uh procedure and surgery.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I wish I had had the um asectomy.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: But uh through all of that, um my my left breast became a tropey from all of the radiation and all of the times I'm going in and excising tissue and stuff, that somewhere 10, 15 years later, I decided to uh have a restoration.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the only reason I decided to have a restoration, I was in a Pilates class and we were planking.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I started planking.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this lady in front of me, I had on a prosthesis, and I started wearing this prosthesis because my posture was off and I needed something there because I was, I didn't care about the visual.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but then when we started planking, that thing fell down.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't come out of my clothes, but it fell down.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked over at the lady in front of me and I'm like, I'm sorry.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Apologies.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that set my journey to having uh uh reconstruction.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: But uh the the uh plastic surgeon who did the reconstruction, he knew exactly what he did.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I can't go everywhere and have a mammogram because when a doctor sees something weird, they're gonna say explore.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that when that puts that on the paper, uh the a radiologist, those doctors by law feel like they have to do that because then they're gonna be held accountable.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm I I keep uh mammograms and papers of my breast and uh CDs and stuff, uh, but I won't have them anywhere because I'm I'm going straight to the table, you know.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah and I'm not gonna do that.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: They do need information, and that's just a part of it.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: But interoperability uh back then was a new thing.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's further ahead, and there there are lots of rubs for it to be as you need with all of your records, and that's because of the hybrid system of private uh and public.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: And also uh physicians consider uh data as their asset, or and some of these tech companies too, their asset.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so you know you have to nav navigate that, but it's yours.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: You should have you have the right to share and ownership of your complete whole holistic health history so that you you can help doctors make better decisions about you, but also it can save us some suffering, some uh being maimed, and maybe even leaving here prematurely.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's really interesting uh conversation because, like I said, I've I've experienced it with doctors um questioning whether or not they should even they'll just send me to someone else sometimes.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: They'll go, you know, I'm gonna send you to this doctor, because maybe that doctor might be able to help you, because I don't think I can.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: And and and it got to be where I'd be tossed around a little bit because doctors were afraid to do anything because I'd had so many surgeries, especially within my abdomen area.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I still need to have you know surgery done.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: And they're just like, We don't, we're at our wits' end, we're not sure what to do because one surgery led to another and another and the complications and everything.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a mess.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: But still, God, you know, God still every time I came out of surgery, I still woke up and I was like, I don't know, Lord, what you plan this for me, but I'm here.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: But and and speaking of that, I do want to talk about your book.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to to dive in and not to shift gears, but I do want to dive into that conversation.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so tell tell our listeners um what the title of your book is and and give us a little bit of insight about it.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: I uh glad to.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I was leaving, uh viewing the Passion of the Christ, leaving a movie theater one day.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I believe I heard the voice say, write a book on why Judas was born to betray Jesus.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, huh, didn't mean nothing to me because I'm not a writer.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not even really a reader.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: I read required stuff, you know, I'm not gonna cuddle up with the book and stuff.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, and and right now I have a year's um uh uh subscription with Grammarly.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I I didn't even trust myself in terms of formulating a paragraph or a page that would be readable to somebody else.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but over a span of maybe six months, more or less, um he would bring that up to me and it still meant nothing.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't think about it, didn't ponder it, didn't decide not to, just didn't mean anything.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: And one time I believe I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, I call the foolish to confound the wise.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And in that respect of that book, I'm like, okay, that resonates, that makes sense because I'm the least desirable, the least capable of putting a book together uh for somebody uh to read.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I can talk about my testimony, I can I can um minister to people on my journey and pray for them and stand in agreement, but that was not something that was on my um on well, that was not something I was interested in doing, but I I I believe in in being obedient.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: It says obedient is better than sacrifice.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: We I used to quote that.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I I I entered that past as a task to do it.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I self-published it, I paid for the publication of it.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I just told the Holy One, I I I commit to giving myself to it.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if you will help me in in revelation through some of these things that I need to convey or think I need to convey.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and um I you know I started on the Judy the the journey of researching on Judas, and there's not a lot of things out there about Judas.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, uh, but I I do believe even before I I started in this journey, I for somehow I I I believed that Judas was as much a part of the redemptive story as Christ.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that was the angle that I took in the book.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and I I I believe that once he uh took those um 30 pieces of silver, that the awareness of what he had done had come upon him.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think during his life beforehand, I said I don't think, I didn't say it didn't happen, that he had no awareness of of his role of the 12 being a thief, a betrayal, but that it was God ordained.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the the chapter three of the book is not a whole lot out there, but this is a poem, and the poem is not biblical.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was a poem authored by uh Pastor John Piper.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when I came up on it, I it it it made so much sense to me of explaining something to me, even though it might not have been true about Judas before he got to being the 12th, because you know there's not much written.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I asked uh Pastor Piper, you know, what would he allow me to reprint that poem, which is chapter three.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: He asked me what aspects of how I would use it, and then they gave me permission.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: But uh it talks about Judas when he was born.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, his mother died during childbirth, read by a single father, and foretold that one day he would even be able to steal coins out of the master's purse, you know, some pieces tied in.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's also a part a part that once he committed um uh suicide, that his his spirit, I believe, the Lord ushered down to paradise in his arms.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I believe.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, so I'm not trying to be doctorally sound, I believe.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I uh but his body was uh in this poem returned back to Kirkkuk, wherever he was born, uh where his daddy was waiting on him, didn't know what had happened.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and Peter knew to to bring his body back to his father so it could be buried, his earth suit, because that's that's what we were in.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but um, you know, I I think that Judas didn't have a choice.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I I think that's why he had no foreknowledge.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, which one of us could live this life and walk this earth and know that we're finna do something as heinous as Judas done?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: But then it says you're doing it for the greater good, you know.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Christ was, you know, he was he walked in a different, he walked in a different anointing or a different posturing when because as a little child he knew what he was going to be done.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I think he was his DNA was in quick, it was in equipped and in innately in him to walk that path out, but it wasn't in Judas's um DNA to do that.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: But uh I do think that his he his purpose was to do the betrayal so that Christ would allow himself to be crucified on that cross, offer himself up to lay in the grave three days and say, Well, he took the sting out of death and he took the keys to death in the grave when he ascended to the Christ.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I don't want the audience to think that I I do some deep studying on that because I don't.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, when you live in a life, you ain't got time to do a lot of deep studying.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Some things we do do our studying and we get revealed on, but I don't I don't serve in a place or step in a place or stand in a place where I come, I want to come off as I know everything.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know what happened in my my my my my life and how God manifests himself to me and uh what I believe that he said to me or he did to me or led to me.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but that doesn't mean he doesn't minister other he minister to other people in lots of different other ways.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't want anybody to you know say if he's not doing this to me in this way, then maybe I'm not.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you are right.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: He he he says, you know, he he he's uh he's our beginning he knows the end, he knows the end from the beginning, but the words that he's obnipotent, we know that he's all knowing, he's all the all authoritative, he's everywhere, you know, with everybody.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I I always tell people, I'm like, no matter where you are in Christ or where you don't think you are in Christ, just give your hand to it.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, amen.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right, he'll lead you through it.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we think we have to be in a certain position to be accepted by Christ, and we don't.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: We he says he says, just come boldly, come as you are.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um he doesn't say to go put on some perfume and some makeup and get yourself fancied up.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't say after the workday is done, you know, he just says, come as you are, where you are, no matter what position.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: When I thought it when I think about Judas, and I was thinking about that book, and what crossed my mind, which you actually already answered the question, but I'm gonna tell you what the question is.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was wondering why Judas, why would you pick him as a character to write a book about?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: But God told you to.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: That answered the question.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I was like, you know, God does tell us to do stuff, even though we don't um we don't think we're called, we don't think we're ordained, we don't think that's our gifting.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: But God will, God will just kind of he did that with me.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was never gonna be a podcaster.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: You could ask my daughter when I told my daughter I was gonna be a podcaster, she about fell on the floor laughing.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: She said, You don't even like your picture taken.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: You won't even talk in public.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: You're you she's like, There is no way you're gonna ever be a podcaster, mom, ever.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Well, that kind of made me want to do it more, but but you know, just because I was like, you know, even more so because God's like, you're gonna do this.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yeah, and it took me over a year to do it because I was scared to death.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: And um, what have you, and I've loved it since you know, since I've been, you know, meeting some wonderful people like yourself.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: I've met people all over the world.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: God has blessed me through so many testimonies, and He's blessed a lot of other people as well.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I love sharing people's testimonies and what they've walked through.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think with people trying to conquer their own strongholds and um just overcome, sometimes they don't take that leap of faith because they think they have to show up in a certain manner.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: And Judas did not, and and you know, if you think about all of the disciples, Jesus went to the ones that were willing, not the ones that were perfected.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: And they were chosen not because of how good or bad they were, they were chosen because God knew their hearts and that they would be willing to get up and go.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And Judas was willing to get up and go, no matter what he was doing from his birth all the way to where he was at.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, even Matthew the tax collector, and you know, everyone had their own specific stories.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: And um I do agree, I do, I do kind of can relate with what you're saying when it comes to Judas um the betrayal.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's a really significant part of Jesus going to the cross.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: I always felt that.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt like it's a demonstration for also for us to see that Jesus even endured that and he still went to the cross for us, as undeserving as as that is.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so I think that was a huge um part of his his um his story.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: Another thing I was reading in in your on your website is you were talking, you know, when we talk about things that are pivotal and we take these different turns, um, people go different directions, you know.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we do that because we we often run from what we don't know, for one.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we kind of hide sometimes.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're like, oh, if I don't know that I'm just gonna stay over here so no one will ask me the question or you know, and want an answer out of me because I don't have a have a clue.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of things I don't know.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I've learned to just go, you know, actually I really don't know that, but I would really like to know that, so why don't you tell me?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, I you know, because I'm not gonna learn unless someone shares that information, you know.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and instead of feeling, you know, like I'm you know, stupid or not qualified because I don't know the answer.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I know with the disciples, you know, they followed Jesus for a reason.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: They followed him because they for one, they they they could they could sense the Holy Spirit.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: I know I can only imagine how powerful that anointing had to be walking beside that man.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: I would just be like, man, you know, I mean, I I can I I mean I just think about that sometimes, like, man, I wish I could have been a disciple for five minutes, you know.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or even just sitting, you know, on the mount when he's when he's uh, you know, teaching and preaching, you know, just five minutes of that, I would have loved it, you know.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, or in the synagogue, so wherever he was at, even at 12 years of age, he he had to be walking with a special kind of light on him.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: And um it just makes me think how wonderful it is.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: But when I was thinking about the story of Judas and and the way, like you said, there are a few other books out there.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um you you've talked you talk about that on your webpage, but um this one was like you know, it's like we I think we all are here for a purpose and a reason.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: All of us.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was talking to another gentleman that said, even the ones, even even Lucifer was called.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the and the third of the angels that were cast down, we he we he called every everything into what it is.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: He called it into what it is, just like he created the earth and the heavens, he he know, out of his nostrils, he he just, you know, he anointed everything.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, like you said, with him being, you know, omnipotent and everywhere.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: When you go to write a story, I was thinking about this, and tell me your thoughts on this, I'll give it to you real quick.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: When you go to write a story, you kind of in your mind a little bit, for me personally, have like a little bit of an outline about like who my characters might be, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent, the perfect, you know, the ones, you know what I mean?
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of put my characters in in place um before I dive in 100% to the to what I'm writing.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes as I'm writing characters will just come to me, you know, like, okay, this person, that person, whatever.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of like a mixed bag of the beginning characters to the ending characters, you know, when you end up correlating them together.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that about the disciples as being that, like that, you know, how they were chosen and how each one, you know, went and they were called upon, and and how Jesus, you know, worked with each one of them individually.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: And he said things to them individually, like, you know, you know, the cock is gonna crow three times, you're gonna deny me three times, you know.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, oh no, that would never do that.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Oh, yes, you know, it's gonna happen.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: And just certain things that were were said and done when when we think about the characteristics, even when we write a story, we put those characteristics, those characteristics in place.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like God does that with every single person on this earth.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: We all have a position in place.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: I I agree.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: I I do think uh that he has a plan and a purpose and a position for everyone.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and I I think that that one person, he could be talking to a million people about the same thing, or or not, you know, the word says, go ye into all of the world and preach the gospel.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: Some people take it as just for the preachers or the bishops or the apostles.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've never taken it like that.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've taken the go ye is in our world, whatever we touch, because sometimes preaching he doesn't even mean in words, he's meaning in demonstrating your life, or demonstrating yourself in in situations that you got caught up in, and and you know, you don't respond like somebody who's out there who don't know God.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: I I always I always try to um well I treat people like I like to be treated, and uh I I I answer and respond to them like I would like God to answer and respond to me.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh right.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you you're not you're not doesn't mean it always happens that way, but there again, I have to get my mindset out of the microwave world.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you if it don't happen now, then it doesn't happen.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was uh one time ministering to some people in the hospital because uh both uh two of them, I I I I lived there because I I had to travel out and I lived in there and and I got cured from breast cancer and I had a heart for people with cancer.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I would go in the evening times and you know, sit down and talk with patients and their families if they would allow me to come in.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: And um one time uh this gentleman, I I was just leaning in so hard because he was saying all the right things and you know, and professing all the right things, and I would go to him and um he died, and then I was just so distraught.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then the Holy Ghost kind of baby basically told me, get over yourself.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know you don't know what he and I were talking about, yeah, what he was talking to me about in the you know, the the midnight hours or whatever his prayer to God was, and that and that taught that taught me a little bit about I'm not responsible for the end results.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: I need to bring it clean, keep it clean, but I need to be obedient in it.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, when you're talking to people and holding those things, you know, holding up the name of the God of the Lord God and how how you uh walked it out.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: I got one little quick other story I want to talk about when I was at the hospital.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: We had an isolation room, and there was a patient in the isolation room, and I was always busy going down the halls trying to see what was going on with the patient who were this patient.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I felt um a push or unction to visit him and share the good news of God, but he was in the isolation room, so I would have to suit up to do that, and uh I'm like, okay, well, whatever.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I suited up and I went in there and I had a great conversation with the gentleman.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: Left that place, went downtown to get something to eat or run an air, and then when I came back at the back of the hospital, there was a hearse bagged up, and I'm like, a hearse, you know, wonder what's that?
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that was that patient.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was so glad that I was obedient to that unction.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't understand it all, didn't have to understand, uh, and don't even know the end results of you know, I can't say, well, now he's inevitable, but I was so glad that I was obedient because sometimes we're only we're at the space with this person, and nobody else will get a chance to get to him.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you just you know, you have to you have to be obedient, you have to lay hands on, you have to, you know, be be encouraging or or you know, what whatever it is, because we don't know how he's gonna use us.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I I really think he uses us whether we know we're saved or not, because you know, I didn't think I was saved and him talking to me.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: Who was I?
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody, literally nobody, but I think he looks at us through different eyes and different, you know, um panes of glass or whatever than we look at ourselves, and I think that's love, you know, the ultimate love that let that allowed him to go to that cross and uh be be tortured and abused, strip-necked in front of his mom, as they said.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, but uh, you know, that was a humbling, I mean that had to be humbling because he did say I could call 10 legions of angels, and he did not, because he knew what was on the other side of that sacrifice that he was offering up.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think you know, and as it with you had a good point there when you said um um when you weren't sure if you're saved or you're not, that God sees us with different eyes.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: He does see it with different eyes.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: We are already chosen, it's it's him that that's not chosen.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't chosen him, he already chose us.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: So we are already saved if we just accept his his gift that he wants to give us.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that because some people are like, Oh, I'm not worthy.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, who says you're not worthy?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: What does Christ say about you?
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I disagree.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you may think you're the most wicked, horrible person on this earth, and I guarantee you Jesus will find something worthy about you.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely because he made you that way, you know.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um, yeah, we make mistakes where none of us are gonna be perfect.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that, you know, having that in mind, people get wrapped up in that.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know if I'm saved or if I'm, you know, you know, this, that, and the other.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: There's been a couple of times um where God put me in position, and I I I had already questioned my salvation many times in my lifetime.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: I did it because I even though I was saved at 10 years old, um, being in and out of foster homes, I was yo-yo yo-yo'd in and out of different religions.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know coming or going what what was up, what was down.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, do you raise your hands or you just sit with your hands in your lap?
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what is this?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: One minute I'm a Baptist, next minute I'm a Pentecostal, and next thing I'm, you know, just eating at the buffet because that's where they all go after dinner, you know, or after service.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: Where are you supposed to, yeah, where are you supposed to be?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I I just remember thinking, I don't understand any of this.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much confusion, you know.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the enemy that brings that confusion on.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: But the Lord says he's not the author of any of that.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's not.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thankful that, you know, he just he met me where he met me.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember I need I remember that day getting saved that I was just like, whatever that Jesus is that Billy Graham's talking about, I need that, and I need that.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: I told my grandmother, I said, sit here, I'll be right back.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: And there's thousands.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: We were at the very top of this pavilion.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: And my grandma goes, There's a lot of people here, and most of them were heading out the door, and I had to get down there, you know.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I gotta go down there.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, You're gonna get lost.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: I said, If if God wants me down there, I'm sure He knows He's gonna teach me how He's gonna show me the way.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'm I go, I guarantee you this is meant to be.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I ran down there, I couldn't wait to get Jesus.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I want Jesus so bad.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember getting Jesus, but I never got discipled afterwards.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't have the teachings that needed to come with it.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, for years and years later, you know, I didn't realize that I.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I was missing that until someone questioned me on my relationship with Jesus.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, So what is your relationship like with Jesus?
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, I go to church.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Well, that's nice.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now what's your relationship with Jesus?
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Oh, I pray.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, what's your relationship?
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he just kept saying it until it finally registered.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What are you getting at?
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and he's like, What's your personal, intimate relationship with Jesus like?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I like what you said in the beginning.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's not about religion or different doctrines or different churches or the building or the different people and what people believe.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's about you and Jesus and your relationship.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's it.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because at the end of the day, when you stand on the throne and you're standing before God, there's nobody else going to be there.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's not going to be a church leader, a building, a person.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's going to be you and God.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that's it at the end of the day.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: When we 100%, if we get when we give up our own breath, it's between us and the Lord.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_00: How we growing up.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you're you're right.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: I loved uh listening to uh Billy Graham.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember him coming on TV and my mom would watch him on TV.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: It took me a while to sit there and listen to him, but it was so pure, so plain.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and his calling out that people came.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: See the Lord, he drew you in.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he does.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you went down.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: He he drew you.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: And and other people say, Well, he didn't draw me.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: Don't say that.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: Go back and think about what you might have missed.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because one thing for certain is that God is no respective person.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: He loves no one more than he loves the other.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's God.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: As the little girl said, Him God.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's right.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: Him, God.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: He uh, you know, He He loves us all.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: We all go through this life experiences, and there's a lot of whys we can't answer.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, what you can answer, you lean into it.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe later you'll you'll understand.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: One of the themes throughout the book is the secret things of the Lord belong to him.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I always keep saying that because that would that would always come up with me.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I hear that from him.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, because he's talking to different people in different ways.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: He's not going to tell you what he's what he's got uh for me or me for you or whatever.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: And right, and people don't know everything about you.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: And some people that come to you with some stuff, you know, you know, if it don't line up with what you believe and God said to you, and the word said, then you might might let that fall off because you know he he he is here, he he's the god head person of this earth.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I I that's so powerful when you think about that.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I also think that when when we are dealing with God, you know, head on, God's gonna reveal something to us that he's not gonna reveal to everyone else.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I always tell people, you know, God made you to be you, and um, God made me to be me, and I'm already taken, so don't try to be me.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: Be who God made you to be.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I can't be you, you can't be me.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not to judge you for how what your walk looks like.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_01: I might give you direction, I might give you some advice, but I, you know, even Paul in the Bible said Paul gave a lot of lot of advice.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: He wrote a good part of the Bible, but you know what he also said to the uh Barians?
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: He said, Hey, go and take my word and make sure it's correct.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Test it to the to the word of God.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: You better test my words because I'm even I'm even failable.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: I can mess up too.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_00: And he recognized that.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I did.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: As as a disciple, he he recognized that.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I loved that because you know, if you know, he says, you know, it just make sure it's it's lined up with God.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Get get in line with God.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: If you stay in line with God, you're gonna be okay.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: I I believe that with anybody and everybody, no matter what you're facing, what you're going through, as long as you are, you know, you know, have that lifeline, that direct line to God, you're gonna be all right.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's not gonna leave you nor forsake you.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's what his word says.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: He loves you more than we could even fathom.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: We can't even we can't even measure the amount of love he has for us.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's just unfathomable.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: And until we get to see him and be with him in eternity, we we will never even get to experience the love that he has for us because it's such a supernatural love.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: And that's it's I'm excited.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited about Jesus coming back, you know, and the way the world's going, it's it's getting crazy out there.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I just encourage people, you know, you're don't even worry about what's going on in the world.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: It says not to worry about it.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: It just says to be prepared in and out of season.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure your oil lamps are full.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be the five five women that had to run back and get it because you're gonna miss the boat.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna miss the boat.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_00: But he also says to occupy, to live your life.
• 48:26
  unknown: Yep.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't be afraid, don't be worried.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: He talks about the signs.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh to me, we're in crazy times.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I try not to think on them or focus on them.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want to stay focused on my walk.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: On my walk.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or or my preview.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if I was supposed to be over this, then that would be different.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: How I handle this, because I I firmly believe that everybody that's over anything will have to give an account right or wrong to God for how they handle it or what they did.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just try to I try to stay.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, even sometimes it it it it unnerves me and angers me.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I take my eyes back out and just put it back on God, yeah.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: And and and what I'm supposed to be doing this call.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I've got uh a tech uh technology tool that I I um bootstrap bootstrap a prototype.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: I spent all of my money on doing it, and I started it before a lot of people, and then I had to find a pivot because I wasn't um given access to capital.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and people just normally told me, you know, you don't look like you take.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I don't, whatever it looks like.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but uh at the end of the day, I don't doubt God.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a long abusive struggle, but I still continue in that space and I go back to God, you know, Lord Lord, if I'm wasting my time, you know, show me where I can pivot off of it.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think if I'm not humble enough with his grace, mercy, and help and anointing, I can become humble enough to say, okay, you were wrong, or whatever, and move on to something else because I don't want to waste my time.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I do believe that the secret things of the Lord belongs to all of us, he just tells each of us different things that we need to know.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, same with our convictions.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: If God's going to convict you for certain things, like he's gonna convict me for certain things.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: And um, they may not be the same convictions or at the same time.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and sometimes, you know, I've had people approach me that have been convicted over something, and they thought I should have been convicted too.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, when God convicts me, I'll let you know.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right, you know, until then he's not convicting me.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: So um you know, you you know, I'm glad he's convicting you, and it, you know, you need to work that out, walk that out with the Lord.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's your job, that's not mine.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now that now that'll preach because sometimes people want what God does for them or how he condemns them or how he I like say spanks us, then you want to give it to somebody else.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_00: I call it that that's your spit.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: You hold your spit.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's you.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: Don't give that to anybody else.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let them let them, you know, God deal with them in the way that He's gonna deal with them.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: And don't you be a hindrance to their walk.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we have to be careful in that space.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I I agree.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I and like I said in the beginning, when we started talking about, you know, the the the sliver and the beam, if if if we all just stayed focused on what's going on in our own our own selves instead of looking out on him in on everybody else's what they're doing and what they should or should not be doing or what we think they should or should not be doing, um, I think the world would be in such a better place if we just stopped doing that to one another, you know, and stopped nitpicking people.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: And some of it is just just really petty and nitpicking and it's ridiculous.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I I want to I tell people like, don't you think that's kind of nonsense?
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: Don't you get tired of doing that?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like just watching you is making me tired.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I think you can waste your time doing other things, you know, besides nitpicking someone else.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: I I agree.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think the folks that came up with the slogan, What would Jesus do?
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_00: probably thought about that.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's what you say, but what would Jesus say in this space?
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, that's what you say, but that's what well Jesus.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: So if if if if we're his goyes, then we need to be aligned with how he operates.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_00: Not not how we was teached, not how we were churched, not how we think, not how Medea did.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, we all have our own personal relationships with him, and where we're we're confused, or I I think he'll help us through those spaces.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: He's done me, he's done you, even during the the health crisis, those those are some those are the most vulnerable times of your life when you're not in control of your health and and you've got these things going on.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: But somehow, and and it's grace and mercy that gets us through it because you I can't name of one thing that said, okay, well, you know, I always knew I knew nothing.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just knew nothing.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: I just had to walk it out day after day after day.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: But even when I was trembling and scared or confused or ignorant or unlearned in those spaces, God was still there as a force.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just had to acknowledge it and lean into it.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think God gives us gives us some discernment when to speak on on his behalf and when to um recognize it.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I've had an encounter when I had my when I went in to have my I had a tumor growing in my hand, and I went to the doctor and he said, Well, we're pretty sure it's cancer.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_01: And they wanted to take my whole middle finger out to my wrist.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah, no, we're not doing that.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I go, and another thing, I don't have cancer.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I rebuke that right now in the name of Jesus.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that's all I said to him, and he just kind of he mo he kind of scoffed at me and laughed.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I I meant it.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I don't believe that I have cancer in the name of Jesus.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: I just I would rebuke that.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't, you know, I and God just made me, he gave me when I said when I spoke it in that moment, God literally comforted me and made me feel, you know, as if what I said empowered me with that that without those words.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_00: He empowered me.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: And when I went back after my exam, the doctor sat down with me and he said, What made you so sure you didn't have cancer?
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: I said, It wasn't me, it was God.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_01: I already told you this.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I already explained this to you.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, But you are so sure of yourself.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, God just gave me that, he gave me the comforter over me that said, You don't have cancer, you're gonna be okay.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a comfort that came from God.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't afraid at all.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I go, I go, I don't have to accept your fear.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: Unless God tells me to be afraid of it, I don't need to be afraid of it.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: You try to make me scared.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: I told you you weren't having I wasn't having it.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean you just gotta put yourself in position.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, that's right.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_00: He gave you the knowing.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: He gave you the knowing that it wasn't, and that you were gonna that you were gonna get through it.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it the doctor, you know, not being a uh a real strong Christian, was was kind of smitten.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_01: He just kind of he he said that he go, You floored me.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: He said, That's what he said.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, You floored me when you said that.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, well, we'll see, we'll just see.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then when the results came back, it floored me again.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: He said, Yes, he said, so I had to ask you.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, I'm glad you're asking me, because now you can go and have a conversation with God and see where God wants to lead you.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, because you know, you need to work some things out for yourself, apparently.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: So that's right.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's wonderful.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_01: I remember leaving that office, I had a grin on my face, I was so happy, and and everybody's looking at me like, she's getting ready to have a major surgery on her hand, she's all grinning, you know, like you know, I was like, I just remember walking out going, Thank you, Lord, that was amazing.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: I just love that, thank you.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, those divine moments are so precious, you know.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is that you were a living testimony to him.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and he, you know, he took care of my mom and he took care, he took care of a lot of my mom's surgeries.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember telling my mom, I said, you know, I I I think you're in good hands with this guy because he has a little bit of discernment now.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_01: And he kind of goes, he looks at me and he goes, I remember you.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, No, you remember God.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you remember God, that's right.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so screwed it up in his face and like right here.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but we you know, also giving God credit where credit's due.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes people take it for themselves, and that's where we miss up.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we've got to be careful not to take that credit.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: They do like to play God and take things, take the credit of God on on on unto themselves.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I I and I think that's making they think that makes them look big and God small, but God is always gonna be the big one.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're the little somethings.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just glad that he loved me enough to recognize, you know, that we matter to him, you know, we're so important to him.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I I tell people if Jesus, if Jesus came back and there was only one person still standing here, he would still go to the cross.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: He would do it.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: He would, he would.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_00: I really would.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter if even one person or uh seven billion people, he would still do the same thing.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because he's not a respecter of persons, like we've you said.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_01: So with that being said, um uh we do need to wrap up.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say thank you so much.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_01: I've really enjoyed talking with you.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you and enjoyed hearing your testimony and and about your book.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: And um, is there any information you want to share before we leave?
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, just a little bit of hope or um a little bit of insight that you'd like to share with our listeners before we close out today.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_00: Real real quick, and this is what the Bible says do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: Be kind, walk in love, you know, don't don't get all riled up on stuff that's not uh riled up of.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned in my lifetime to keep my mouth off some things, regardless of what I think.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_00: Just shut it up, you know.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, just so you move on.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that's called growing in Christ.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to doubt that he loves you, but he don't want you to also create that kind of atmosphere for somebody else that they doubt that God loves you, love them.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he he wants us to do unto others if we would have others to do unto us.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, no, no, whatever.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, that's the law of sowing and reaping, and I think it's it's even more deeper than that.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: But uh love people, you don't you don't have to like them, you know, but you love them with the heart of God.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: With the heart of God, absolutely.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I share that story.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: My grandmother told me when I was 14, and I was very rebellious.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was a little punk, not gonna lie, I was in a really bad state of mind.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, in and out of foster homes, I was really mad at my mom, but I wanted to go back with my mom, but I didn't know if I could handle it.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and uh I told my grandmother, who was my foster grandmother, I said, I don't like my mom, and she she's a Christian, and she's the one who took me to Billy see Billy Graham.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm she's I'm blessed with her.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: But she said to me, she said, Um, the the word says you have to honor your mother and your father.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, I don't want to honor her.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you she goes, and the word also says you have to love your mother and your father.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I don't want to love her either.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, you know what?
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: The word doesn't say anything about you liking it.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it shut my mouth.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I couldn't even talk.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Huh, well, she got me there, you know.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that was it for me.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I I I I you know, I took that to my heart and I was like, you know what, it it convicted me.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Thank you, Lord, because I needed that, because I was I was being a little punk in my own mind, thinking, you know, I deserve something more than you know, I did.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and she said, No, you still have to.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, You don't have to like what your mom does, but you have to love and honor her anyway.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I loved her and I took care of her all the way up until she died.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_01: And um some people will be like, I don't understand how you took care of your mom after the after all of this stuff that you went through with her.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, I know, I know how I did it.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_01: I did it because grace of God, because God said I had to honor her.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if I didn't, I was gonna have to answer to God.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, I go my grandma told me that when I was young, because I'd have had a I'd have had my hands full trying to explain to God why I did all the things I did that I shouldn't have done.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: And and that made it all well with your life and all well with those that you love.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or help you to get through them.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's that simple too.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's there's so much simplicity to God.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: We make it, we're the ones that make it.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is so well with that being said, just to let you know, I I'm gonna put your information and stuff in the show notes um and where they can um get your book and your website and everything so they can reach you.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_01: And um I do that with every every guest that I bring on.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I've really and thoroughly enjoyed um conversing with you today.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: I've I loved it.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you shared a lot of great insights.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was really excited to have you.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: We did too.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's good to when we talk about the the love of God.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it just magnifies his love.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_00: It is yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: I could talk Jesus talk all day long.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: People will be like enough already.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I can never get enough of Jesus.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I just feel like you know, it he just you know warms my heart so much when when we do talk to him and all glory to God, you know, and all things.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I try to keep it like that.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_01: But again, Deborah, I just want to say thank you for being on Crushing Strongholds.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for your testimony, um, about your cancer um and um you know how how that worked out for you.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_01: And um again, the book I I I have not read it, but I want to read it.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very curious now.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've only read one other book about it, and I don't even remember the title of it.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was a long time ago about Judas.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I've definitely um it piqued my interest, so I want to get it and read it.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_01: And for all of our listeners out there, I hope that you guys get it too and read it.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I love to be uh supportive and have a community where we all are in unity with one another.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_01: So because God loves everyone.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_00: He does.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's a simple, it's a simple read and it's an easy read.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's a short read, too.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's nothing, yeah, nothing in depth.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's more where you what you can take and internalize on how you are responding to God and and that you realize He's responding back to you.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, with that being said, to all of your listeners, I just want to say thank you, thank you for being here um for enjoying this episode.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope you got a lot out of it.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: I I totally was blessed in this episode.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you again, Deborah, for that.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope and wish you all um a great day.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_01: You all take care and God bless.