Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 56

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The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 56 · Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe

• 0:00
  What up, Hammer and Hank? How are you? How the
• 0:02
  fuck are you doing, buddy? I'm doing pretty fucking
• 0:05
  good, you just swore. Alright, let's go! You're
• 0:08
  listening to The Hammer and Hank Show with Henry
• 0:11
  Oaks and Ryan Hoppy. The Hammer and Hank Show.
• 0:23
  Hammer and Hank. Legend on the air. Waste free.
• 0:26
  Autistic kingpin. Cali's harder. Wild 949, he
• 0:31
  the voice they need. Doghouse days, laying down
• 0:34
  the creed. Too legit to quit, hammering Hank
• 0:37
  on fire. Mike in hand, lifeline and wire. Face
• 0:42
  day, showing no tire. Underdog champion, always
• 0:45
  going higher. What up, Hank? I'm doing pretty
• 0:52
  good, buddy. How are you? Good. How's your week
• 0:57
  been? I have not talked to you in seven days
• 0:59
  besides texting you. How are you? Extremely good.
• 1:03
  What you been up to this week, bud? Reminiscing
• 1:06
  about the history of pop music with Graham and
• 1:11
  Selena. Wait, were you on air with Graham and
• 1:13
  Selena? Most on the Wild Pods podcast. Oh, you
• 1:18
  were this... Let me turn off the music. Ah, this
• 1:21
  music's so good. One second here. Just gotta
• 1:23
  have a little jam. Make sure you listen back
• 1:26
  after. The music's so good. All right. You were?
• 1:32
  How was it? Pretty good. Man, you're just a man
• 1:36
  around town, Hank. You're killing it. Thank you.
• 1:39
  What did you guys talk about? About jokes, pop
• 1:45
  music, and my national anthem. What is your national
• 1:51
  anthem? Excuse me. Is this Wednesday at the Modern
• 1:59
  Women Field in Modesto? Home of the Modesto Roadsters.
• 2:05
  Did you find a ride? Not yet. We're going to
• 2:11
  hit up Alex or whatever. Everybody's got connections.
• 2:15
  You're a well -connected man, Hank. I would say
• 2:18
  I get on that. I did not know that until now.
• 2:20
  You didn't know what? I'm a well -connected man
• 2:24
  until now. Hey, you're on more radio shows than
• 2:26
  me. You're on Woody, you're on Wild 94 .1, JV
• 2:29
  and Selena, or Selena and Grandmother, Rest in
• 2:32
  Peace, JV. You're killing it, Hank. Thank you,
• 2:35
  buddy. You're welcome. What is your radio memory
• 2:38
  besides doing the podcast this week? My radio
• 2:42
  memory this week? Mm -hmm. It's when we talked
• 2:46
  about JV's life back in 2023. What? 2022, I'm
• 2:54
  sorry. It was February 2023, I believe. 2023,
• 2:58
  yep. Yes. We talked about J .B. Sive and how
• 3:03
  I had to run into the water and find a dark bathroom
• 3:06
  to capture some chickens and hurt my ankle. Man,
• 3:12
  you were a warrior for that show. You did a lot,
• 3:15
  Hank. I'm proud of you. You're a legend. Mm -hmm.
• 3:18
  Thank you, buddy. You're welcome. Hammer and
• 3:21
  Hank, any other memories? Also, I won a radio
• 3:26
  contest from KLOK in San Jose way back in 1988.
• 3:31
  What did you win? A church cassette. How was
• 3:37
  that? What did you do with it? I had to be the
• 3:41
  first call to identify a song lyric. It was My
• 3:45
  Sweet Lord by George Harrison. How many radio
• 3:49
  contests did you win? A few. Man, you are just,
• 3:54
  you are a man around town. Always busy, Hank.
• 3:58
  Go, buddy. Eight, five, oh, fuck, I forgot. I
• 4:03
  forgot to get the soccer jokes. But you're right,
• 4:05
  I will, I will read the jokes for soccer. Let
• 4:08
  me get that real quick. But let me hit the music
• 4:10
  and we'll do the dirty jokes, okay? All right.
• 4:13
  A one, a second. Woke up this morning, spilled
• 4:23
  my coffee cup. Should have known today I'd have
• 4:27
  some messed up luck. Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy
• 4:31
  on the show. Making jokes so bad I can't help
• 4:35
  but glow. Hank says, why did What are the jokes
• 5:00
  for this week? Why did I bring a ladder on a
• 5:05
  date? Why? Because she said she likes guys who
• 5:10
  take things to the next level. Why do I always
• 5:17
  wear cologne on the first date? Why do you always
• 5:19
  what? Wear cologne on the first date. Why? Because
• 5:24
  my personality needs all the help it can get.
• 5:29
  I don't agree with that, but it's an okay joke.
• 5:32
  Why did you invite me over to watch a movie?
• 5:38
  Why? Because apparently nobody ever actually
• 5:42
  finished a movie. Because you're busy banging.
• 5:47
  Why did I buy extra breath mints? Why did you
• 5:51
  buy breath mints? Because Optimus is free. Why
• 5:57
  did I shave before my first date? Why did you
• 6:03
  shave before your first date, Hanky? Because
• 6:05
  hope springs eternal. Ah, geez. Why did I ask
• 6:11
  if I wanted dessert? Why do you want dessert?
• 6:15
  Because she wanted to see if I could handle something
• 6:18
  sweet. Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying. Why
• 6:22
  did I always clean my apartment before a date?
• 6:25
  Why? To get a blowjob? Because I'd hate for someone
• 6:29
  to think I live like this. Why do I put clean
• 6:36
  sheets on the bed? Why? Because calmness is important
• 6:40
  and so is the fabric softener. Why do I love
• 6:46
  filtering so much? Why do you love what? Filtering
• 6:50
  so much. Why? Because it's the only sport where
• 6:54
  bad jokes can actually help. Why did I bring
• 7:00
  gum on my date? Why? Because I'd rather be overprepared
• 7:07
  than mindless and humiliated. That's a long one.
• 7:14
  And that's it for the jokes. Alright, Hank. Let
• 7:20
  me do something real quick. We have a comment
• 7:23
  here. It says, Hank, I have been a fan of you
• 7:26
  since your first time on KCRH. Keep up the good
• 7:31
  work. We got a long time listener. First time,
• 7:36
  whatever it is. Hank, you're killing it, dude.
• 7:39
  You're a legend. You're the greatest of all time.
• 7:42
  You're the best around. Nobody's going to keep
• 7:44
  you down. You're the best around. All righty.
• 7:48
  Hanky. I am loading up something real quick,
• 7:51
  but everybody can... They can leave us a voicemail.
• 7:56
  856 -49 -HOPPY. That's 856 -494 -6773. Hank,
• 8:03
  what is your Twitter? DJ Hank. All right, Hank.
• 8:08
  And my Instagram is at DJ Hank. All right, I
• 8:13
  got some soccer jokes. And also, I got this...
• 8:18
  going right now in the club. Got some soccer
• 8:22
  music in the background. Ah, here are the jokes,
• 8:24
  Hank. Okay, buddy. Why did the soccer player
• 8:28
  bring string to the game? I don't know, buddy.
• 8:32
  So he could tie the score. Why are soccer players
• 8:37
  great at doing chores? I don't know, buddy. Because
• 8:41
  they know how to sweep. Why did the soccer ball
• 8:45
  quit the team? I don't know. I don't know. Because
• 8:48
  it was tired of getting kicked around. That's
• 8:53
  interesting. Why do soccer players do well? Why
• 8:55
  don't soccer players do well in school? I don't
• 8:59
  know. Because they spend too much time kicking
• 9:00
  back. That's interesting. What tea do soccer
• 9:06
  players drink? I don't know. Penalty. I love
• 9:12
  it. Why was the soccer field always wet? I don't
• 9:16
  know. Because the players dribbled all over it.
• 9:19
  Is it distinct? Get it? Like dribble? Like pee?
• 9:22
  Get it? Why do, what do soccer players eat before
• 9:27
  a big game? I don't know. Golden Grahams. Get
• 9:31
  it? Golden. I did eat Golden Grahams back in
• 9:34
  the day. Yeah, you did, bud. Why did the goalie
• 9:36
  bring a ladder? I don't know. He wanted to reach
• 9:39
  new heights. I don't know. Why? I love how that's
• 9:45
  your line. That's right. It's interesting. That
• 9:47
  would be like going to a comedy show and being
• 9:49
  like, hey, Sam Morrell, that's interesting. Anyway,
• 9:52
  what do you call a soccer player who loves music?
• 9:56
  What is it? A golden oldie. I love oldies. Yeah,
• 10:02
  I know you do. Why was the soccer coach always
• 10:04
  calm? Why is the soccer coach always cold? Calm.
• 10:11
  Calm. Because he knew how to keep his goals in
• 10:14
  mind. That's interesting. I love you, dude. That
• 10:20
  should be the name of the episode. That's interesting.
• 10:22
  Hey, it says right here. What are your opinions
• 10:25
  on MTV? It fucking sucks. I used to love watching
• 10:34
  MTV back in the 80s when they played nothing
• 10:36
  but rock videos and then rock concerts. Yeah.
• 10:39
  And now it fucking sucks. What sucks about it?
• 10:44
  All those stupid ridiculousness episodes. Bro,
• 10:48
  I feel like they just put ridiculousness on for
• 10:50
  like, first of all, it was only on for like 11
• 10:53
  years, but there were like over 400 episodes.
• 10:55
  So that was this new episode that was so cheap
• 10:58
  to make. It was just crazy. It was insanity.
• 11:01
  Yep, it sucks because that's the only way they
• 11:06
  can save money. Do you like Jersey? Because they
• 11:10
  don't want to air music videos anymore. Because
• 11:15
  they don't want to get confronted by the music
• 11:17
  industry. That is not a bad point. Hank, what
• 11:22
  do you think of Jersey Shore? I hate that show.
• 11:26
  No, I love Jersey Shore. It's great. There's
• 11:30
  a song called Opposites Attracts by Paul Abdul.
• 11:33
  And what does it have to do with Jersey Shore,
• 11:34
  bud? A lot. No, no, no, boy. Yes, I hate Jersey
• 11:39
  Shore, and you love it. Oh, Opposites Attract,
• 11:42
  got it. What is your take on the Stanley Cup?
• 11:49
  I think Carolina wins it all. I went to a game.
• 11:53
  So I would go to North Carolina for Thanksgiving
• 11:56
  in the 2000s and early 2010s. And we would usually
• 12:00
  go to like a Bobcats game, which is now the Hornets
• 12:03
  again. But in 2011, there was the NBA lockout
• 12:07
  for like a month. Didn't begin until Christmas.
• 12:10
  And I cannot believe that was 15 years ago. And
• 12:12
  we went to a Hurricanes game. So I'm rooting
• 12:14
  for them. Cool, buddy. That's what you always
• 12:18
  say. Hank, if I hit the music. Are you ready
• 12:22
  for trivia? Yes. Let me hit the music. Let's
• 12:31
  go. your knowledge up. Take a sleep. I hate sleep.
• 12:58
  What is your trivia? What is your top ten hit
• 13:01
  record? Don't expect me to be your friend way
• 13:06
  back in 1972. That is a mean song. The Doobie
• 13:10
  Brothers? Nope. Lobo. I've never heard of them.
• 13:14
  I know RoboCop. What is your big hit record?
• 13:18
  Loopy Loop back in 1962. The Beatles! Nope. Johnny
• 13:25
  Thunder. I've never heard. It was his only hit
• 13:28
  record. Sounds like a porn star. Who had the
• 13:33
  number one hit record? Next time I fall. It was
• 13:37
  the top ten hit record on the adult contemporary
• 13:40
  charts in 1986. Next time I fall. You are a real
• 13:46
  life Casey. What was the name of the guy? That
• 13:49
  was a terrible point. Casey Kasem. We got a Casey
• 13:52
  Kasem here. I don't know. Let me think. The Cars.
• 13:58
  Nope. Peter Cetera and Amy Grant, who is the
• 14:02
  Madonna of gospel music. My mom listened to her.
• 14:06
  Hank, you do realize I was born in 1993, right?
• 14:09
  And don't really have memories till 98. Why don't
• 14:11
  you ever pick music from when I was alive? I
• 14:15
  don't know. Maybe next time. Who sang the song
• 14:20
  Hit Em Up Style in O -Line? Luke Cantrell. Who
• 14:24
  sang the song in 06 20 years ago, Promiscuous
• 14:27
  Girl? Promiscuous Girl? That would be... Let
• 14:33
  me think. You got this. Nelly Ricardo. Good job.
• 14:38
  Who sang the... Let me think here. Who rapped
• 14:42
  the song Lean With It, Rock With It? I don't
• 14:46
  know. Dumb Franchise. Dude, you don't know that.
• 14:49
  They probably played it on Wild. Anyway, Hammer
• 14:52
  and Hank, if I hit the music. Are you ready for
• 14:56
  a buddy of the week? Yes. We need some positivity
• 14:59
  in this club. Mm -hmm. Yo. Yo. Tune in to the
• 15:07
  show. It's Hammer and Hank. Mm -hmm. Oh. Autistic
• 15:10
  genius always keeping it dank. Henry Oaks on
• 15:12
  the mic. Hop, ride, and shotgun. Roll call for
• 15:15
  the buddies. We just having some fun. Buddy of
• 15:17
  the week. We're going to get the crown. I ain't
• 15:20
  bringing smiles. Shut the haters down. On the
• 15:23
  airwaves. We're breaking the code. Streetwise
• 15:26
  vibes on this radio. All right, Hank. Who's your
• 15:30
  buddy of the week? Beth Leakes, Graham, and Selena.
• 15:34
  What do they do to deserve to be buddies? And
• 15:37
  Jesse. They invited me on the Wild Thoughts podcast
• 15:40
  and also talked about music on Instagram. What
• 15:51
  was the best part about the segment? I don't
• 15:54
  know. The best part about the segment is we got
• 15:58
  to do whatever we want. I got Jack off to female
• 16:04
  pop artist. Got it. You come out of nowhere with
• 16:09
  this. You are just tanky. Now, when you're about
• 16:16
  to spank it, how do you get Smurfette to leave
• 16:22
  you alone? She goes for a walk. How often does
• 16:28
  she go for a walk? About 20 minutes. How long
• 16:32
  does it take you? About 20 minutes. Me too. I
• 16:37
  got anxiety. Now, if I got blue balls from a
• 16:40
  date, it's a lot easier. I'm sure you got blue
• 16:43
  balls, you know, in that blowjob you got at Sound
• 16:46
  Factory. Mm -hmm. I got my dick sucked up to
• 16:49
  Sound Factory in 1998. Hell yeah! Did she use
• 16:52
  teeth? A ton. Oh, God, it's the worst. It's always
• 16:58
  Swifties and religious girls. I have her at Hank.
• 17:01
  I'm going to hit the music. Are you ready for
• 17:03
  prick of the week? Alright. Do you have a prick?
• 17:10
  No, I don't. It's for Mark Apple. Who's that?
• 17:18
  Back in 2008. He let me go. Loser! No, not you.
• 17:27
  Mark Apple's a fucking loser. Yeah, he sounds
• 17:32
  like an absolute twat. What's he doing now? Picking
• 17:35
  his nose? Probably nothing. He tried a website
• 17:42
  called whoscoyhiringme .com and it didn't do
• 17:45
  too well. Who's going to hire me? whoscoyhiringme
• 17:49
  .com That's a terrible name for a website. Aaron
• 17:52
  Hank! What are your goals in life? Try to get
• 17:57
  back into commercial radio. We have this discussion.
• 18:04
  However, Hank, you do know you're on the Woody
• 18:06
  Show, you're on Graham and Selena, JV Show. What
• 18:10
  more do you need? I want to test your knowledge
• 18:16
  about more of the history of pop music. What
• 18:22
  got you into pop music, bud? I used to listen
• 18:27
  to K -L -O -K in San Jose way back in the 70s
• 18:32
  and 80s. Mm -hmm. Did you listen to that K -M
• 18:36
  -E -L morning show in the 80s? The morning show?
• 18:40
  Yeah. I listened to it for a bit. Did you not
• 18:43
  like it? It was okay. It was whatever it is.
• 18:49
  Haver and Hank, what else is on your mind? Well...
• 18:57
  I'm coughing. Anything else? And also, I got
• 19:03
  to give a shout out to all my buddies out there.
• 19:05
  I love you very, very, very, very much. We've
• 19:11
  been recording for 19 minutes and a second. I
• 19:15
  only talk to you once a week. So is there anything
• 19:18
  else? Yes. What's up? I'll keep masturbating
• 19:24
  to female pop artists. Hell yeah! Who are you
• 19:28
  going to jerk off to tonight? Hi, Sabrina Carpenter
• 19:33
  or Britney Spears. That's who Britney Spears
• 19:35
  is. I would say Sabrina Carpenter or Britney
• 19:38
  Spears. Do you just live or do you just dry as
• 19:44
  hell? I just dry as hell. That's not good. Yeah.
• 19:50
  I got to give a big shout out to all my fans
• 19:53
  out there. I love you very, very much. Wait,
• 19:56
  wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
• 19:59
  wait, wait, wait, wait. Got to hit the music.
• 20:05
  Sign us off. I got to see you next week. Peace
• 20:11
  in your hood. Bye Hank. Peace in your hood. Bye.
• 20:16
  And there you go on Zoom. Like that? He's gone.
• 20:37
  Mike Crackle, Hammerin' Hank on the tackle Autistic
• 20:41
  mind sharper than a bone -chilling shackle Henry
• 20:43
  Oates with the hops, Ryan hop in the spot Radio
• 20:45
  waves hittin' hard like a chef with a pot Farewell,
• 20:48
  Hammerin' Hank, gotta close up the show Legend
• 20:51
  in the booth where the vibes used to flow Autism
• 20:54
  warrior, always runnin' the glow But all good
• 20:56
  things gotta let the curtain go slow On the dial,
• 20:59
  spittin' truth with his unique grind Thoughts
• 21:01
  intertwined like graffiti on the line Ryan on
• 21:04
  the mic, Henry's rhythm divine Every beat they
• 21:08
  design. Static in the speakers where the laughter
• 21:10
  used to ride. Hank led the show with that beautiful
• 21:13
  pride. Autism didn't stop him, not amplified.
• 21:16
  Hammer and Hank, forever immortalized. Farewell,
• 21:19
  Hammer and Hank, gotta close up the show. Legend
• 21:22
  in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism
• 21:25
  warrior, always running the glow. But all good
• 21:27
  things gotta let the curtain go slow. Radio go,
• 21:30
  never ghost. He a host with the sauce. Henry
• 21:32
  Oaks and Ryan Hart, lightning never lost. Puzzle
• 21:35
  piece crown, man. This dude was the boss. City
• 21:38
  missed the voice. That's the ultimate cost. farewell
• 22:11
  hammer and hank gotta close up the show legend
• 22:13
  in the booth where the vibes used to flow autism
• 22:16
  warrior always running the glow but all good
• 22:19
  things gotta let the curtain go slow radio gate
• 22:31
  never goes he a host with the sauce henry oaks
• 22:34
  and ryan harp lightning never lost puzzle piece
• 22:37
  crown man this dude was the the ultimate cause.
• 23:02
  Award -winning and nationally syndicated Hoppy
• 23:06
  Hour Podcast. but I'm not bragging. It's a mix
• 23:09
  of a 2000s, 1990s morning show in a podcast format.
• 23:14
  You never know what I might talk about. One minute
• 23:16
  I could be talking about the latest with the
• 23:19
  NFL side chicks, and the very next second I could
• 23:22
  be playing an unknown song from the 2000s. My
• 23:25
  show is an in -studio circus for the age group
• 23:30
  of 18 to 34, even though we have 70 -year -olds
• 23:33
  that listen. For For more info, if you want to
• 23:35
  be a sponsor, a friend, and no, not a drinking
• 23:38
  sponsor, a sponsor of the show of Hoppy Hour,
• 23:41
  go to ridethewave .media is the website, and
• 23:46
  ryanhoppyradio at gmail .com. Once again, this
• 23:50
  is Ryan Hoppy of the Hoppy Hour podcast, and
• 23:54
  let's do some business. What's up? Ryan Hoppe
• 23:57
  here, and I want to tell you about the Ride the
• 23:59
  Wave Media Podcast Network. They got such great
• 24:03
  shows. It's Practically Magic, Those Guys, Blaine's
• 24:07
  World, and even my show, Hoppe Hour with Ryan
• 24:10
  Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe
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  Radio. This podcast network is going to take
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  over the world. It is everything that radio is
• 24:19
  missing. Now, you're hearing my voice, and you
• 24:21
  go, how can I find it? RideTheWave .media is
• 24:25
  the website. and there has all the great podcasts.
• 24:29
  And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride
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  the Wave Media Podcast Network.