Latest / The You Project / #1735 Mediocre Me - Harps
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I'll get a team. I hope you're great. So it's
- 0:03Speaker 1: going to come as no surprise to you that I
- 0:06Speaker 1: am fascinated with human potential. I'm fascinated with what's possible
- 0:13Speaker 1: for us when we can do what we need to
- 0:18Speaker 1: do to create the outcomes we want to create, whatever
- 0:21Speaker 1: they are. I'm fascinated with our capacity to be able
- 0:27Speaker 1: to waste our neate ability or optimize our ability, to
- 0:32Speaker 1: be able to manage our mind and manage our choices
- 0:35Speaker 1: and manage our emotions, and manage our behaviors and our
- 0:38Speaker 1: resources and our physical energy, and our relationships and our
- 0:44Speaker 1: choices and our life and our lifestyle, to be able
- 0:48Speaker 1: to produce the thing that we want to produce, or
- 0:51Speaker 1: create the outcomes that on planet us are desirable and
- 0:58Speaker 1: I have personally. So this is a very selfish interest.
- 1:02Speaker 1: But I've always been interested in how the person with
- 1:06Speaker 1: not outstanding innate or natural abilities or attributes could outperform
- 1:15Speaker 1: their natural talent or their natural predisposition to be good
- 1:20Speaker 1: or not so good at something. And the reason I
- 1:23Speaker 1: say selfish is because that is me. So I was,
- 1:27Speaker 1: you know, I was the kid who didn't have great genetics,
- 1:30Speaker 1: and surprisingly they didn't get better. My body got better,
- 1:33Speaker 1: and my choices and my behaviors and lifestyle and nutrition
- 1:36Speaker 1: and exercise got better, but my genetics didn't. Because I
- 1:40Speaker 1: can't change them. I can influence them. But what you've
- 1:43Speaker 1: got is what you've got for the most part. Yes,
- 1:45Speaker 1: you can, as I said, influence how they operate. For
- 1:51Speaker 1: one of a more fancy term, we call it epigenetics
- 1:54Speaker 1: or genetic expression. But you know, I had what I had,
- 1:57Speaker 1: and I had a certain amount or lack perhaps of
- 2:00Speaker 1: sporting ability or creative talent or academic natural academic ability.
- 2:10Speaker 1: I had certain social skills that my social skills were
- 2:13Speaker 1: not bad. They're probably better than the other things. My ability,
- 2:17Speaker 1: my natural ability to communicate was probably better than average.
- 2:20Speaker 1: But all of the other things, genetic, sporting ability, academic ability,
- 2:25Speaker 1: you know, all that stuff that really matters when you
- 2:27Speaker 1: all were told, we're told really matters. All that stuff
- 2:31Speaker 1: for me was at the very best average, maybe lower
- 2:37Speaker 1: than average. And so growing up with friends who were gifted,
- 2:44Speaker 1: and friends who had natural abilities and talent and a
- 2:49Speaker 1: natural predisposition for learning and for understanding the certain things
- 2:54Speaker 1: that I did not have. And by the way, there
- 2:58Speaker 1: was no hardship. There was no massive disadvantage. But for me,
- 3:04Speaker 1: it meant that if I wanted to be as good
- 3:07Speaker 1: as my friends at sport, you know, in particular, I was.
- 3:11Speaker 1: I was all about Bossie rules. I was all about
- 3:13Speaker 1: Australian rules football. I loved it. And so if I
- 3:15Speaker 1: wanted to make the team, I wouldn't get in on
- 3:19Speaker 1: my natural ability. I wouldn't get in on my natural
- 3:21Speaker 1: athletic prowess because they didn't have any. So I would
- 3:26Speaker 1: need to do more work. I would need to train harder.
- 3:29Speaker 1: I would need to consciously, you know, do things that
- 3:33Speaker 1: other people would not need to do to get So
- 3:37Speaker 1: somebody who might need to work at a three out
- 3:39Speaker 1: of ten to get to a certain point, and that's
- 3:43Speaker 1: great for them, by the way, there's no resentment in this.
- 3:45Speaker 1: There's a little bit of jealousy. But for them to
- 3:48Speaker 1: get to a certain level, whether three out of ten
- 3:50Speaker 1: workload or effort or application, I would need to do it.
- 3:54Speaker 1: I would need to give a seven or eight or
- 3:57Speaker 1: nine out of ten effort to be able to create
- 4:01Speaker 1: the same outcome. And so growing up being you know,
- 4:07Speaker 1: the morbidly obese kid with not very good genetics who
- 4:11Speaker 1: was a you know, at twelve thirteen years old, heavier
- 4:13Speaker 1: than most adults. I was heavier than most of my teachers.
- 4:16Speaker 1: I would suspect the kid who didn't ace the exams,
- 4:21Speaker 1: the kid who didn't have the natural disposition to study,
- 4:25Speaker 1: the kid who wasn't picked for all the sporting too.
- 4:28Speaker 1: There's no self pit in here, by the way. This
- 4:30Speaker 1: is just my life and where a lot of things,
- 4:35Speaker 1: most things did not come easily or naturally. But and
- 4:42Speaker 1: I've said this before, what I did love about all
- 4:45Speaker 1: of that was in the middle of all of that
- 4:48Speaker 1: stuff that I didn't have, what I did have was
- 4:52Speaker 1: I had curiosity. I had hope. I didn't have much
- 4:58Speaker 1: knowledge and didn't have much actual ability or talent, and
- 5:01Speaker 1: I didn't have a high IQ. It wasn't a brilliant scholar.
- 5:04Speaker 1: But what I was was I was really interested in
- 5:08Speaker 1: getting better. And there was a lot of false starts,
- 5:11Speaker 1: and there was a lot of peaks and troughs. But
- 5:13Speaker 1: and for me, the door opened as I won't bore
- 5:17Speaker 1: you with the story, but for me, the door opened
- 5:19Speaker 1: when it was always kind of cracked open, it was
- 5:23Speaker 1: always slightly a jar, but it kind of the door
- 5:26Speaker 1: blew open when I was fourteen, I lost a whole
- 5:28Speaker 1: lot of weight, and I mean when I say a
- 5:31Speaker 1: whole lot of weight, I mean like a lot of weight.
- 5:33Speaker 1: And I went from being, you know, one of the fattest,
- 5:36Speaker 1: if not the fattest kid in my school to definitely
- 5:38Speaker 1: one of the fittest kids in my school, just because
- 5:41Speaker 1: I did a lot of work I did. You know,
- 5:43Speaker 1: I don't know what the other kids were doing, but
- 5:45Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that there was very few, if any
- 5:48Speaker 1: kids in the entire school that were putting in the
- 5:51Speaker 1: miles and the work and the effort and the energy
- 5:55Speaker 1: that I was putting in to turn myself into a
- 5:58Speaker 1: version of an athlete. And while that was fun, and
- 6:04Speaker 1: going from you know, last to sometimes first in our
- 6:08Speaker 1: compulsory cross country runs that we had at school, and
- 6:12Speaker 1: going from not being seen to being somewhat more socially included,
- 6:16Speaker 1: that was nice too. Being picked in the first you know,
- 6:20Speaker 1: three or four or five for a sporting team instead
- 6:23Speaker 1: of being picked last. All that stuff was good. And
- 6:26Speaker 1: as a kid, of course, you want that. You want
- 6:28Speaker 1: to be socially accepted, you want to be seen, you
- 6:30Speaker 1: want to belong. You know, all the emotional and psychological
- 6:33Speaker 1: and sociological ramifications of being left out and excluded. They
- 6:37Speaker 1: are shit, indeed. But what really blew my mind when
- 6:42Speaker 1: I had this kind of teenage transformation was not, well,
- 6:49Speaker 1: look at my body. Now. I can run fast, I
- 6:51Speaker 1: can jump higher, I can do push ups and chin ups,
- 6:53Speaker 1: and I can you know, I can play a whole
- 6:57Speaker 1: game and I'm not exhausted. All that was good, But
- 7:02Speaker 1: what really kind of struck me was that when I
- 7:08Speaker 1: applied myself despite my limitations, but when I would do
- 7:14Speaker 1: everything that I could, everything that I could, some amazing
- 7:21Speaker 1: shit happened. And while I couldn't I couldn't. I couldn't
- 7:27Speaker 1: create better genetics or I couldn't be smarter. But I
- 7:32Speaker 1: could get more knowledge. I could get more understanding. I
- 7:36Speaker 1: could develop new skill. I could build my innate fitness
- 7:42Speaker 1: and competence. I could build strength. I could improve strength consciously.
- 7:47Speaker 1: I couldn't improve my natural kind of talent or ability,
- 7:52Speaker 1: like I said, but I could. I could just get
- 7:55Speaker 1: better through work. I could build insurance and endurance and
- 7:59Speaker 1: speed and confidence and awareness and competence at a range
- 8:04Speaker 1: of things because I was prepared to do the work
- 8:07Speaker 1: that the others weren't prepared to do. And it wasn't
- 8:13Speaker 1: like I had some big I guess epiphany about work
- 8:18Speaker 1: ethic at any stage or optimization of my own potential,
- 8:21Speaker 1: but rather, over time it kind of dawned on me that,
- 8:26Speaker 1: oh wow, if I can change my body, the thing
- 8:30Speaker 1: that pretty much defined me in a massive way, I
- 8:35Speaker 1: can go from being morbidly obese to being the opposite
- 8:38Speaker 1: of morbid EO. I can go from being one out
- 8:41Speaker 1: of ten fit too for my own potential nine or
- 8:45Speaker 1: ten out of ten fit. I can go from not
- 8:48Speaker 1: being able to do a single chin up because I
- 8:51Speaker 1: couldn't even I was so heavy. I couldn't even hold
- 8:54Speaker 1: my body weight. I couldn't hold my own body weight
- 8:57Speaker 1: for ten seconds. I couldn't hang off a a monkey
- 9:01Speaker 1: bar or a tree or whatever, or a chinup bar.
- 9:03Speaker 1: I don't think I even knew at a fucking chin
- 9:05Speaker 1: up bar, A proper one was. At that stage, I
- 9:08Speaker 1: couldn't even hold my body weight, and a year later
- 9:11Speaker 1: I could do comfortably. I could do fifteen proper chins.
- 9:15Speaker 1: And it's not like, well, that's because you know you've
- 9:17Speaker 1: got better genetics now, No, that's because I just did
- 9:20Speaker 1: things that created that change. And so I became really
- 9:23Speaker 1: interested in how could I leverage my mediocrity. How could
- 9:29Speaker 1: I didn't say it like this, but how could my
- 9:32Speaker 1: mediocrity be the driving force behind my success? What a
- 9:37Speaker 1: weird concept. And when I leaned into that, and I
- 9:42Speaker 1: just owned that and I accepted that, and I went,
- 9:44Speaker 1: all right, well, here's all the things you're not creat
- 9:48Speaker 1: here's all the things you're not. And this is not
- 9:50Speaker 1: self loathing. By the way. You might think I'm throwing
- 9:53Speaker 1: myself under the bus or I'm being unnecessarily mean to me.
- 9:57Speaker 1: I'm not. But I think what is really important is
- 10:01Speaker 1: that we are It's hard because we live in our
- 10:03Speaker 1: own subjective reality. I get that. But as objective as
- 10:07Speaker 1: I can be about me, I know that there are
- 10:11Speaker 1: some things that I have more natural ability at. And
- 10:14Speaker 1: I would say, you know, doing what I'm doing right
- 10:17Speaker 1: now is it has been a skill that's been developed.
- 10:20Speaker 1: But I also had a natural capacity to be able
- 10:23Speaker 1: to communicate and think clearly and understand, to a certain extent,
- 10:28Speaker 1: understand human beings and human behavior and human nature. And
- 10:32Speaker 1: that's something that over time I have developed. So that's
- 10:34Speaker 1: a certain kind of intelligence, of course, but kind of
- 10:38Speaker 1: classroom intelligence and academic intelligence that wasn't innate. I really really,
- 10:45Speaker 1: me and university we don't go together like peas in
- 10:48Speaker 1: a pod. Me and University, We've really had to figure
- 10:52Speaker 1: each other out. I've really had to learn to understand
- 10:56Speaker 1: that culture and that language, and that operating system and
- 11:00Speaker 1: paradigm that for me is not a natural fit. Research
- 11:03Speaker 1: for me is not a natural fit. There's been a
- 11:06Speaker 1: lot of things that I have had to work harder
- 11:10Speaker 1: than other people alongside me because I didn't have what
- 11:16Speaker 1: they had. I had to train harder than people. I
- 11:18Speaker 1: had to lift more than people, I had to do
- 11:20Speaker 1: more miles than people. I had to ask more questions
- 11:23Speaker 1: than people. I had to fail more times than other people.
- 11:26Speaker 1: And all of those things are and this might sound
- 11:30Speaker 1: a bit cliche, but all of those things, while they
- 11:32Speaker 1: are uncomfortable and painful and undesirable, in the moment, they
- 11:36Speaker 1: are fucking a superpower. They're a superpower, or they're a
- 11:42Speaker 1: super resource because what they're doing is they're helping us
- 11:46Speaker 1: become the thing that we need to be to be
- 11:49Speaker 1: able to thrive, or the person that we need to
- 11:51Speaker 1: be to be able to thrive and survive and navigate
- 11:54Speaker 1: and negotiate and problem solve and adapt because life is
- 12:01Speaker 1: messy and things are messy, and relationships are messy, and
- 12:04Speaker 1: business and learning and you know, becoming successful, whatever that
- 12:10Speaker 1: means for you, it's messy. It's not a three step process.
- 12:14Speaker 1: And the thing that will work for you know, the
- 12:18Speaker 1: thing that would work for my mates at school, they
- 12:21Speaker 1: would do a certain thing, and that would work for them.
- 12:23Speaker 1: I would do the same thing. It wouldn't work for me.
- 12:26Speaker 1: And the way that I would do it, they might
- 12:28Speaker 1: roll their eyes and go, why the fuck do you
- 12:29Speaker 1: make that so hard? You go and definitely go on
- 12:32Speaker 1: the long way, or maybe the wrong way. And for
- 12:36Speaker 1: them that was true. And if they had have done
- 12:38Speaker 1: it the way that I did it, it wouldn't have
- 12:40Speaker 1: made sense because they weren't me and I wasn't them.
- 12:43Speaker 1: And so I have spent my life in many ways
- 12:47Speaker 1: trying to figure out not what is the best protocol,
- 12:49Speaker 1: but what is the best protocol for me? What is
- 12:53Speaker 1: the best protocol for me with my brain, with my
- 12:56Speaker 1: cognitive capacity, What is the best work out for me
- 13:00Speaker 1: with my genetics and my body. What is the best
- 13:04Speaker 1: kind of relationships for me, not for the average or
- 13:07Speaker 1: other person. What's the best kind of career for me,
- 13:11Speaker 1: what will work for me. I'm not lazy. I want
- 13:14Speaker 1: to work, but maybe having a nine to five job
- 13:18Speaker 1: won't work for me. And so not only not only
- 13:23Speaker 1: learning how to leverage off my own mediocrity, and not
- 13:27Speaker 1: only learning how to optimize what I do have to
- 13:30Speaker 1: work with, but also understanding who I am in the
- 13:35Speaker 1: middle of all of the things that I am, not
- 13:39Speaker 1: all of the people that I am not. What will
- 13:41Speaker 1: work for most people might not work for you. It
- 13:46Speaker 1: might not work for you. There are lots of things
- 13:51Speaker 1: that a lot of people do a lot of and
- 13:53Speaker 1: they are not bad things or good things. They're just things.
- 13:57Speaker 1: And clearly that works for them, not always, but in
- 14:01Speaker 1: general terms. But there are a lot of things that
- 14:05Speaker 1: a lot of people do that for me don't interest me,
- 14:09Speaker 1: they don't stimulate me, they don't grow me. And that
- 14:12Speaker 1: doesn't on any level mean that I'm better or worse
- 14:14Speaker 1: than them. That just means that I am not them.
- 14:18Speaker 1: And so I have always been very excited. I'm still excited.
- 14:22Speaker 1: You know, I'm sixty one. You know that most of
- 14:24Speaker 1: you know that I'm sixty one, and I'm excited about
- 14:27Speaker 1: what I'm going to do be create, learn, and unlearned.
- 14:29Speaker 1: Do be create, learn, and unlearn over the next four years.
- 14:32Speaker 1: I'm excited to see what's happening when I'm sixty five.
- 14:35Speaker 1: I'm interested in getting better. I'm not interested in hanging
- 14:38Speaker 1: on by the skin of my teeth and trying to,
- 14:42Speaker 1: you know, decline at a minimum. I'm actually at a
- 14:45Speaker 1: minimal rate. I'm actually interested in getting better. I'm interested
- 14:49Speaker 1: in getting cognitively, emotionally, mentally, socially, and maybe even physically better.
- 14:56Speaker 1: I don't know if all of those things are possible.
- 14:58Speaker 1: I don't know, but I know that if I don't try,
- 15:02Speaker 1: they're definitely not possible. They're definitely not possible. And so
- 15:09Speaker 1: I've got some questions for you that I ask myself
- 15:15Speaker 1: about leveraging, optimizing what I do have to work with.
- 15:21Speaker 1: And so these are Craig coaching questions. For Craig. This
- 15:27Speaker 1: is literally what I ask me. And this is not
- 15:31Speaker 1: this is not you know, pseudo self help fluff. And
- 15:35Speaker 1: some of these might work for you, they might not,
- 15:38Speaker 1: They might be relevant, they might not, But this is
- 15:41Speaker 1: what I ask myself. So Number one is what do
- 15:43Speaker 1: I need to get better at? And that's just a
- 15:46Speaker 1: really simple question. And you can preface that with in
- 15:49Speaker 1: relation to communication, what do I need to get better
- 15:53Speaker 1: at in relation to optimizing my genetics? What do I
- 15:57Speaker 1: need to get better at in relation to using my
- 16:01Speaker 1: time effectively? What do I need to get better at
- 16:04Speaker 1: in relation to the way that I connect with this person?
- 16:09Speaker 1: What do I need to get better at in relation
- 16:12Speaker 1: to being a great problem solver, a great leader, a
- 16:16Speaker 1: great manager, a great coach. What do I need to
- 16:20Speaker 1: get better at in relation to being a better managed
- 16:25Speaker 1: manager of money? Right? These are and so like, we
- 16:30Speaker 1: can't get better at the things that we can't acknowledge
- 16:33Speaker 1: or we can't identify. I believe, and you've heard me
- 16:37Speaker 1: say this. I believe a lot of us just fucking
- 16:39Speaker 1: go through life unconsciously, and we kind of hope that
- 16:42Speaker 1: at the end of twenty five it'll be better than
- 16:44Speaker 1: the end of twenty four where we're at now. But
- 16:47Speaker 1: we don't really have a concrete plan. We haven't really
- 16:51Speaker 1: identified our weaknesses, we haven't really leaned into our strengths.
- 16:56Speaker 1: We haven't really put our current operating system on the
- 17:00Speaker 1: metaphoric hoist and walked around and had a good look
- 17:03Speaker 1: at that operating system and said, what am I doing.
- 17:06Speaker 1: That's currently fucking stupid. What am I currently doing? That's
- 17:10Speaker 1: a form of self sabotage. What am I currently doing?
- 17:14Speaker 1: That is a waste of me and my time and
- 17:17Speaker 1: my genetics and my energy and my potential. What am
- 17:20Speaker 1: I doing? We need to live consciously and intentionally, and
- 17:26Speaker 1: that means being aware of what we're doing and what
- 17:31Speaker 1: we're not doing, being aware of our choices and responsible
- 17:35Speaker 1: for our choices and also lack of choices. When you
- 17:40Speaker 1: don't make a decision about that thing that you know
- 17:43Speaker 1: you should make a decision about, or you're making a decision,
- 17:47Speaker 1: It's like when I talked to somebody about a bad
- 17:50Speaker 1: habit and they're like, look, I don't want to make
- 17:52Speaker 1: a decision about that yet. Well that's your decision. Your
- 17:54Speaker 1: decision is you're not going to address it. So question
- 17:57Speaker 1: one is what do I need to get better at?
- 18:00Speaker 1: And that kind of is the catalyst for a decision,
- 18:06Speaker 1: that's the catalyst for action, that's the catalyst for a
- 18:10Speaker 1: different operating system or approach or paradigm. Do you have
- 18:14Speaker 1: a plan, do you have a strategy, do you have
- 18:17Speaker 1: a system or are you just kind of bumbling along
- 18:21Speaker 1: doing the thing that doesn't really work well. Well, if
- 18:25Speaker 1: you are not consciously and intentionally observing your own behaviors
- 18:30Speaker 1: and choices and outcomes, then you're doing life on a
- 18:34Speaker 1: form of autopilot. That doesn't work. And if I said
- 18:40Speaker 1: to you, do you want to produce better outcomes than
- 18:44Speaker 1: you are currently with your body, with your whatever, relationships, money,
- 18:49Speaker 1: relationship with God, spirituality, lifestyle, whatever it is? Do you
- 18:53Speaker 1: want to get better? Do you want to do better?
- 18:55Speaker 1: Do you want to create better? Nearly all of you
- 18:58Speaker 1: will say absolutely, I do cool? What's the plan? What
- 19:04Speaker 1: does better mean? What needs to stop? Stop? Not? Oh soon?
- 19:12Speaker 1: No fucking stop? Is it uncomfortable? Yes? Is it hard? Yes?
- 19:17Speaker 1: Is it inconvenient? Probably? Do you want like just deep down?
- 19:21Speaker 1: Do you you know? Like? Do you want to? Ah?
- 19:24Speaker 1: How much? Like? Here's the thing. You can listen to
- 19:28Speaker 1: a million of me. You can listen to Tony Robbins and
- 19:31Speaker 1: Oprah and Deepak and the Dalai Lama and read everything,
- 19:34Speaker 1: But it still comes down to what the fuck will
- 19:37Speaker 1: you do? Really? What the fuck will you do? Not?
- 19:40Speaker 1: What do you know what? Not? Not? What do you intend? Not?
- 19:45Speaker 1: What do you want? Not? What are your goals? Not?
- 19:47Speaker 1: What's your plan? But what the fuck will you do?
- 19:50Speaker 1: Because what the fuck you will do determines what the
- 19:53Speaker 1: fuck you will create. Let that sink in next question
- 20:01Speaker 1: what matters to me? What matters to me? I'll do
- 20:06Speaker 1: questions two and three what matters to me? And question three?
- 20:09Speaker 1: What is success for me? So let me give you
- 20:13Speaker 1: a couple of examples for me success. There was a
- 20:16Speaker 1: period of time where it was all about building a
- 20:18Speaker 1: brand and business and money and all of those things.
- 20:20Speaker 1: And that's not good or bad. At the time, that's
- 20:23Speaker 1: what that's where I needed to be. And I did that.
- 20:25Speaker 1: I built a business, and I built a brand, and
- 20:27Speaker 1: I had lots of people working for me, and I
- 20:29Speaker 1: was making lots of dough. And that's not a bad thing.
- 20:32Speaker 1: That's in the context of my life. At the time,
- 20:34Speaker 1: that was good. But guess what, Over time, we evolve
- 20:38Speaker 1: and we change and we realize, hopefully we realize that
- 20:42Speaker 1: success isn't only about things. Success maybe isn't only about
- 20:49Speaker 1: our bank balance, or our car, or our house, or
- 20:51Speaker 1: our brand or what people think. It's not about all
- 20:54Speaker 1: the scene stuff. Sometimes success is about what no one
- 20:58Speaker 1: can see. Sometimes success is about your emotional and spiritual
- 21:03Speaker 1: and psychological bank account, Sometimes poverty has got nothing to
- 21:11Speaker 1: do with food or running water, or job or bank balance.
- 21:16Speaker 1: Sometimes poverty is an internal state. I know lots of
- 21:21Speaker 1: rich people who are living in poverty lots, I mean
- 21:25Speaker 1: fucking lots from the outside looking in razzle dazzle, but
- 21:29Speaker 1: the inside out, they are poverty stricken. They are socially, emotionally,
- 21:35Speaker 1: sometimes spiritually, mentally living in poverty, living in their own
- 21:41Speaker 1: self created prison. This is not a criticism, This is
- 21:47Speaker 1: an observation. And as long as we keep looking for
- 21:51Speaker 1: things for solutions and answers and nirvana and fulfillment in
- 21:56Speaker 1: the wrong place, we're always going to be trapped in
- 22:00Speaker 1: that in a turmoil, that inner bankruptcy, that inner poverty.
- 22:06Speaker 1: And it's not about one or the other. There's nothing wrong,
- 22:09Speaker 1: of course, with building financial wealth. I'm all for it.
- 22:14Speaker 1: Be rich, be richey, fucking rich rich. Somebody says to me, Craig,
- 22:18Speaker 1: we've got a corporate gig for you on Wednesday. We've
- 22:20Speaker 1: got two one's worth X and the other one's worth
- 22:24Speaker 1: ten X. Guess which one I'm choosing. But this is
- 22:26Speaker 1: not a you know, but these things don't need to
- 22:29Speaker 1: be mutually exclusive. But we live in such an externally
- 22:32Speaker 1: focused culture and mindset and society that we are all
- 22:36Speaker 1: about what we can see and what we can see
- 22:39Speaker 1: of others and what they can see of us. And
- 22:41Speaker 1: in the middle of all of this fucking preoccupation and
- 22:45Speaker 1: obsession that we have with things, we've never had more
- 22:49Speaker 1: broken people, We've never had more emotionally, psychologically, spiritually poverty
- 22:57Speaker 1: stricken people, because we think that all of that external
- 23:00Speaker 1: shit is going to make us happy. We think that
- 23:03Speaker 1: all of that and that alone equal success. So when
- 23:09Speaker 1: you are thinking about what matters to you, think about
- 23:11Speaker 1: what can be seen and what can't be seen. My
- 23:17Speaker 1: next one is how do I self sabotage? How do
- 23:19Speaker 1: I get in my own way? How do I get
- 23:23Speaker 1: in the way of whatever my genetic potential or intellectual
- 23:27Speaker 1: potential or academic or creative or sociological whatever that is right?
- 23:32Speaker 1: How do you get in your own way? What is
- 23:34Speaker 1: the thing or what are the things that you currently
- 23:37Speaker 1: do that is you creating an anchor for yourself? What
- 23:44Speaker 1: are those things like? Is it avoidance? Is it procrastination?
- 23:50Speaker 1: Is it massive self doubt? Is it fear? What is it?
- 23:54Speaker 1: And again, this is just an next size in self awareness.
- 23:57Speaker 1: It's cool. If you're scared of stuff, yeah, me too.
- 24:00Speaker 1: If you're an overthinker, me too. Like, here's the thing, though,
- 24:04Speaker 1: You can be scared and still take action. You can
- 24:09Speaker 1: feel like a fraud and still step into the unknown
- 24:12Speaker 1: and take a chance. You can be full of self doubt,
- 24:16Speaker 1: but nonetheless roll the dice knowing that there's going to
- 24:22Speaker 1: be an outcome and more than likely you'll be okay.
- 24:26Speaker 1: Whatever the outcome is. My next question is what's in
- 24:33Speaker 1: my control and what can I do? What's in my control? Okay,
- 24:40Speaker 1: So what's in my control is my mind for the
- 24:44Speaker 1: most part, if I try to manage it. Is my body,
- 24:48Speaker 1: is my nutrition? Is my exercise? Is the lifestyle I choose,
- 24:53Speaker 1: is the decisions that I make, Is the action that
- 24:57Speaker 1: I take? Is the way that I treat us? Is
- 25:01Speaker 1: the way that I waste or use? My potential is
- 25:07Speaker 1: fill in the blank. And based on all of that stuff,
- 25:10Speaker 1: all the stuff that I can control. Not not what
- 25:15Speaker 1: can't I change? Your control? But what can I control?
- 25:20Speaker 1: And what am I doing with that? What am I
- 25:22Speaker 1: doing about that? What do I have to work with?
- 25:26Speaker 1: Imagine if I optimized my potential. Imagine if in the
- 25:30Speaker 1: middle of my fear and overthinking and self doubt and
- 25:32Speaker 1: self loathing. Imagine if I went right. This is. I
- 25:36Speaker 1: know I've listened to a thousand podcasts and I've done
- 25:39Speaker 1: this and that, and i know it's nearly Christmas and
- 25:41Speaker 1: it's not the right time and I wasn't ready. But
- 25:44Speaker 1: what if you you? So I don't think about anyone
- 25:48Speaker 1: else listening to this. I'm just talking to you directly,
- 25:50Speaker 1: and I know that sounds weird, but just think about it.
- 25:53Speaker 1: What if you what if today you did that thing.
- 25:56Speaker 1: By the way, I'm not trying to inspire you, I'm
- 25:59Speaker 1: not trying to motivate you. I'm literally asking you. And
- 26:02Speaker 1: if this makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe that's a sign.
- 26:05Speaker 1: What if today you did it, even though today's not
- 26:08Speaker 1: the day allegedly. What if if today you make a decision.
- 26:13Speaker 1: What if today you go fuck, I'm just going to
- 26:15Speaker 1: find discipline and self control. Anyway, this is uncomfortable, and
- 26:20Speaker 1: it's okay. This scares me, and it's okay, this is inconvenient,
- 26:24Speaker 1: and it's okay. This is this is and I'm not
- 26:29Speaker 1: saying I'm the high watermark, but this is how I
- 26:32Speaker 1: live my life. You know, a part of it anyway.
- 26:36Speaker 1: Of course, I still want to have fun and beautiful
- 26:38Speaker 1: relationships and be silly. But in terms of me optimizing me,
- 26:42Speaker 1: like you listen to this show at least in part
- 26:46Speaker 1: because you want to optimize you. That is why you listen.
- 26:51Speaker 1: You listen to me because you want to be better.
- 26:54Speaker 1: You want to think better, do better, choose better, create better.
- 26:57Speaker 1: That is part of why you listen, and for some
- 27:00Speaker 1: of you, it's all of why you listen. It's all
- 27:05Speaker 1: of why you listen. Well, here I am for the
- 27:08Speaker 1: millionth time I'm telling you there is no fucking magic.
- 27:12Speaker 1: There is no right time, there is no tap on
- 27:15Speaker 1: the shoulder from the Guardian angel. There is just you,
- 27:19Speaker 1: There is just now. There is just this moment. So
- 27:24Speaker 1: many people have an opportunity. Do you know when it's
- 27:28Speaker 1: an opportunity? When it's a day. Are you in the
- 27:32Speaker 1: middle of a day? Is it a new day? It's
- 27:35Speaker 1: an opportunity. Are you hearing what I'm saying? It's an opportunity?
- 27:40Speaker 1: Is it relevant for you? It's an opportunity. Can you
- 27:44Speaker 1: make a decision now? That's an opportunity. Can you change
- 27:49Speaker 1: a behavior or at least change a course of action?
- 27:52Speaker 1: It's an opportunity. Can you walk? Can you talk? Can
- 27:58Speaker 1: you think? Do you have a brain, do you have
- 28:01Speaker 1: a little bit of courage? Do you have a body
- 28:04Speaker 1: that work, walks and works, it walks and works. What
- 28:09Speaker 1: do you have at your disposal? What are your resources?
- 28:14Speaker 1: I know I get passionate about this. But the reason
- 28:18Speaker 1: that I'm so passionate about helping you is because most
- 28:25Speaker 1: people that I meet, and I do not say this insincerely,
- 28:30Speaker 1: most people that I meet, in general terms, I think
- 28:36Speaker 1: have more natural talent and ability than me. But people
- 28:41Speaker 1: don't want to believe that, because I'd rather tell themselves
- 28:44Speaker 1: that I'm somehow a bit special because of the stuff
- 28:47Speaker 1: that I do. But I'm not. But if you're more talented,
- 28:53Speaker 1: naturally talented than me, and I'm not a genius, of course,
- 28:58Speaker 1: but maybe you can go and do something fucking amazing.
- 29:02Speaker 1: Maybe it doesn't matter that you don't have a cheer squad.
- 29:05Speaker 1: Maybe it doesn't matter that the thing that you wanted
- 29:07Speaker 1: to do you haven't done. Maybe it doesn't matter that
- 29:09Speaker 1: your genetics aren't awesome. Maybe it doesn't matter that you're
- 29:12Speaker 1: forty or fifty kilos overweight. Maybe you can just start.
- 29:15Speaker 1: Maybe it doesn't matter that you lack confidence or skill
- 29:18Speaker 1: or understanding. Maybe you can build those things. Maybe you
- 29:22Speaker 1: can make a tiny decision today and create momentum. Maybe
- 29:29Speaker 1: maybe your mediocrity can become your superpower.