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Episode 1: Godly Friendships · Coaching For Life

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: The Coaching for Life Podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Coaching for Life Podcast, a conversation that we pray encourages you to pursue the Christ in her life.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Will Davis, and it's always a great day to be with my good friend and co-host, former NBA player and coach Monty Williams.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Monty, how are you?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm well.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's um really cool to be doing this with you.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so grateful for this opportunity that God has provided us and not just us, our families and um our community here at Christ Community Church.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm thankful that we get to do this together.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is great to be with you.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about how this podcast started as uh the result of our friendship and a mutual goal to encourage people and share with them God's word and help them in whatever they're facing today.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I I serve as a pastor here in San Antonio, Texas, and we have the privilege of worshiping together and doing life together as families, which is a great gift.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And as we have walked through trials uh with other people in the church or our own personal valleys that we'll we'll talk about in these conversations, we've seen how important it is to lean not on our own understanding, Proverbs 3, 5, and 6.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And instead, in all our ways acknowledge God.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we cling to Christ, we cling to the promises found in His Word, and His Word provides us peace and comfort, and it's also comforting to know that we are not alone in the fires of life.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: We have other people that we can look to who are with us in the storm.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's important to give that disclaimer that we are not experts.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we are limited and finite in our understanding, but we're leaning upon God and His Word, which is unlimited and infinite in counsel and wisdom.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And there are so many great podcasts out there.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can hear from experts in any imaginable field.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: But the purpose of this conversation is to encourage and minister to people in whatever it is they're facing in life, and to remind them that they're not alone, that God is with them.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a self-help podcast, but a God help.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what does his word say?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so as you consider your own life and your time and the word, how have you seen the importance of godly friendships?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, one, um I I wouldn't be productive in life without the help of others.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um I've been in the world of entertainment slash sports uh for most of my life, and it is so easy to fall into the the idea that I did it because I worked hard or I did it because I sacrificed.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I wouldn't have the opportunities to be in the positions I've been in if it wasn't for other people um teaching me how to work, sacrificing for me.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um my mother, she was instrumental in sacrificing a lot for me um so that I could go to practice, I could um play on a boys' club team.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know, she scraped up enough money when it was just her and I um so that I could play for the Oxen Hill Boys Club.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: And and God used uh my mom and our relationship to play in that boys' club.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I played football and I played basketball, and that was where I met uh Coach Westbrook.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: And Coach Westbrook was the man who invited me to church where I got saved, and my life has changed for the better in a more productive way just from that relationship with my mom and her sacrifices and the courage of Coach Westbrook to invite our whole team to church.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: And uh my mother and I and another um family went and God touched my heart at at an early age, and um my life hasn't been the same since.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um and he's walked me through a ton of stuff over the years, but to to speak to the point of relationships, um not just my mom, so many people over the course of my 54 years have had a huge impact um on me, and um so grateful for that.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Aaron Ross Powell I think we can all look back and see those key relationships.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a sacrificial mother or someone just inviting us like a Coach Westbrook.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But there are also those unhealthy relationships that we can look back on and see how those were draining, they were life-sucking instead of life-giving.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And those life-giving relationships, we may only have a handful of those in a lifetime.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: But they stand the test of time.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you may not see this person very often, but as soon as you get together, you pick right up where you left off.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's those kinds of relationships that inspire us to be a better person.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: They inspire us to pursue more of Christ and a more godly integrity.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your friendship has certainly been that for me.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I could call you in the middle of the night.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might not pick up, you might be sleeping and sawing logs out there in the hill country.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that at 5 a.m.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: you would be there for me.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: You would you'd pray for me and share scripture with me.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And and that goes both ways.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about one of the most famous examples of friendship is in the Old Testament, the friendship between David and Jonathan in the book of 1 Samuel.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: After David kills Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, we see in chapter 18, verse 1, that Jonathan committed himself to David, and Jonathan loved David as himself.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one of the reasons that that friendship is so amazing is that it came at a great cost to Jonathan.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan was the Prince of Israel, the son of the king, and yet a few chapters before this, in chapter 16, God had anointed David, not Jonathan, to be the future king.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan could have seen David as a threat to him personally, since David stood in the way of the throne, but we don't see any of that bitterness or jealousy from Jonathan.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then we see in 1 Samuel 18, 4, that Jonathan took off his own royal robe, his own gear, his sword and his bow and his belt, and he gave all of that to David.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: He literally was willing to give the shirt off his own back for David.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it was this sacrificial and selfless friendship.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And even when his father, King Saul, sought to kill David, Jonathan stood up to his father on behalf of his friend David.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And David knew when he had to flee from Saul in 1 Samuel 20 that those friends, David and Jonathan, they would always be united.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: They wept together.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we see the spiritual bond of their friendship, as Jonathan said in 1 Samuel 20, verse 42 the Lord will be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants forever.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So we see these great qualities of a godly friendship.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: They were vulnerable with each other, they wept together, and the strength of their bond was based on a spiritual kinship, two kindred spirits in the Lord.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sadly, Jonathan and Saul both died in battle in 1 Samuel 31.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: But at the beginning of 2 Samuel, David writes this song of mourning over his friend.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And years later, David honors this promise and this covenant that he made with Jonathan by showing grace and kindness to Jonathan's son Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: So what are some other principles that you see in Scripture when it comes to godly friendships?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, just in terms of that relationship, you know, he's one of the guys that when you think about who you want to talk to when you get to heaven, like Jonathan's one of those guys.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're like, dude, like you know, I probably wouldn't say dude, but in in in my mind right now, it's like, what what was it about you that allowed you to serve David that way?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um there's a level of security in himself, but probably mostly in in the Lord that he had to have.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um because you you could easily look at that situation and think that jealousy would creep in.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he's he's the son, he's the heir.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: But here is David.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, no, that's my guy, that's my, you know, I'll be Batman.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'll be Robin, and you can be Batman, I'm cool with it.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: And those qualities of humility, uh, security, and courage, you know, he had to go against his dad to support his friend.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that's something that um is inspiring to me because I know how my own pride can get in the way if I get overlooked.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's my that's my fault.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's something that I know that I have.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: I know that it's caused problems in my life before, and God has had to allow uh some tough stuff in my life to get me to a place where I was secure in where he had me and not looking at what somebody else had.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so um that's why it's so important to have good people around you.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the Bible says in um 1 Corinthians 15, 33, and it's a verse that I share with my kids a lot, um, especially in high school, that bad company corrupts good morals.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: And some translations say good character.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um I would talk to my kids about their friends, especially when I was at a high school game or I was around the social event and I saw who they were hanging with, and I was like, you need to be careful.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: And dad, you know, you dad, uh he's he's fine, she's fine.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, just be careful.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember early in my marriage uh when Ingrid would um say the same thing to me about certain people that she saw me around, and she was always spot on.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: She was right.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: She was right every time.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: And as I began to grow in my role as a leader in our home, um studying more, praying more, um, around wise counsel, I began to uh lead in that way where I was a bit more perceptive of certain relationships that my kids were involved in.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: And as a father and a leader and the servant, um, lead servant in my home, it was my job to speak into their lives about their relationships.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I I like the fact that it says uh bad company corrupts good morals.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't even say bad morals, like you can be a good person and still be corrupted by bad company.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And what a testimony, um Jonathan being a good dude and sewing into his his buddy, his best friend, in a way that um so productive, such an inspiration.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: And um we see it throughout scripture.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's there's so many uh relationships uh we're gonna talk about Priscilla and Aquila, David and Jonathan, Paul and Barnabas, Paul and Timothy, Elijah and Elisha, Ruth and Naomi, like so many godly um relationships that have been an inspiration uh to us.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um relationship is greater than Jesus and the disciples.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that relationship, uh their ability to say yes to the call when Jesus called them.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's uh relationships that probably weren't that great.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: Job and his and his buddies.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: You want to talk about dudes, you don't want to be around when you're going through it.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um and and then uh really sad relationships when you think of David and Solomon and the wives that they married.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh some of those wives, um, many of those wives came from backgrounds and religions that caused a lot of problems um in the kingdom and the home and in the lives of uh men that God called to to perform a a certain work.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so you you know, we could go on and on um about uh relationships.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: The Bible is is pretty clear in Proverbs 27, 17, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh may we be uh men and women who sharpen um not just believers but other people in in in service and and and uh an effort to be productive for the Lord, man, because that that's our call is to to come alongside of others in good times and and not so good times to be a benefit to them, but mostly, if not all of the time, help them to be fruitful for our Lord.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna talk about the other side of community in in just a little while and the danger that comes with isolation, not having those those friendships.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and we're gonna talk about the positive nature of isolation.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about Jesus here in a here in a moment in Matthew 4, but you brought up uh Jesus, and even he saw the need for not just the twelve, but an even closer circle of friends, Peter, James, and John, kind of that inner circle.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And he had close friends like Mary and Martha and Lazarus, you know, who lived in Bethany, people that he could could lean upon at times.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you brought up Paul and Barnabas, I think it's it's one of the great examples in the New Testament of godly friendship and partnership.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about Barnabas in particular, I love this character in the Book of Acts.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: His name means son of encouragement, and he lived up to that name.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we see more little boys named Barnabas?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: You never see that name.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you go to church and you you you see all you know you hear all kinds of names, right?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: We never hear Barnabas.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we hear more?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: It should be.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: It should be a name.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: I have Elijah and Micah and Caden.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I would I should have, you know, their names are great.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: I I just I digress a bit, but you just never hear that name, and it's it has such a powerful meaning.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it has such an impactful name behind him, and and he had this ministry of encouragement.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we think about after Paul came to Christ in Acts chapter 9, the apostles were understandably a little skeptical and a little hesitant about Paul.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: He was known as the great persecutor of Christians.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: But then he meets the risen Christ on the road to Damascus and he becomes a follower of Jesus, and suddenly he is a fellow brother in Christ.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we see in Acts 9.26 that several times Paul tried to meet with the disciples, and yet they were all afraid of Paul.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: They couldn't believe that rightfully so.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: They couldn't believe that he was now a disciple.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: But we see those two amazing words in verse 27 of Acts 9, but Barnabas.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Barnabas stuck his neck out and basically grabs Paul by the arm and says, Come with me, I'm gonna take you, I'm gonna introduce you to the disciples, and they will see the spiritual transformation that has taken place in your heart, and that it's for real.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that started a great partnership and great friendship in ministry.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we see at the beginning of their ministry in Acts 12, 25, they are listed as Barnabas and Paul.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: But as they start their first missionary journey in chapter 13, Paul begins to assume some of the senior leadership, and then from then on, they're listed in Scripture as Paul and Barnabas.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's an important aspect of a godly friendship.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: You champion one another, you celebrate each other's successes, and you applaud their achievements and what God is doing in their life.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And just like you said, there's no competition, you know.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think uh comparison and competition, those things can be the enemies of contentment in in life.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to be that cheerleader, that advocate, that defender, and you know that this person has your back.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we're talking about isolation too, as well, and and the dangers of that.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you see as being those those dangers?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: I I think anytime we are isolated, and I I I speak for my own shame and failure, um, I tend to ruminate on something negative.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I can recount so many times in my life when I got into that mode of uh the mental gymnastics of thinking about something that hadn't even happened yet.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: And you just stay there because you're hurt, um, something didn't go your way.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um in my case, from a practical standpoint, I didn't get a contract or I got fired or I got traded.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um something was written about me that wasn't true, somebody, you know, said something about me that wasn't true, and instead of um one praying and asking God to help me to see this more clearly, um, taking a second to get in my word and remind myself that God is in control, He is a refuge in strength, the very present help in trouble.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: And and then calling um someone like Barnabas, someone like Jonathan, a wise uh member that I respected of the body that I was connected to, and even someone from my past, and and sharing with them what I was going through to get that encouragement, or to just have someone call me up and tell me to cut it out.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Mont, you're a a believer, God has you.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, God is calling you to be strong and courageous in times like this.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Joshua 1 9.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um when you get isolated, you tend to create your own world, so to speak, if if you stay in those negative spaces, and I've done that and and I speak from my own experience.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the times in my life um where I thought to stop and just pray before I made any decision, took a step, um, I found um a level of peace there.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because when when you pray, uh the act of bowing your head, um bending a knee, or just stopping right where you are to pray surrenders the situation to the Lord.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the Alpha and Omega, the ancient of days, the one who owns a cattle on a thousand hills.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: And when you think of it from that perspective, you realize that God He has you.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it it may not feel good, but He He has me.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: And isolation can be um such a a a a destructive thing.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: We see it in scripture.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: When certain people were isolated.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Look at Judas.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like he he was isolated from the disciples and got connected to the wrong group and and led by his own pride and and and and greed.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he became the one that pretty much in it in the historical canon, our scriptures, the Bible, um no one wants to name their kid Judas because of what he did.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of it came from his his uh position of isolation.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: And and you can go throughout the scriptures and find you know different levels of isolation um in the in the garden.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: Seemingly you know the Satan attacked uh Eve.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: And that that was, you know, when I read it and I could be wrong on this, but it just seems like she was she was attacked and and and maybe Adam wasn't taking the post that he should have taken.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: But those are the kinds of situations that can get us in trouble when we um get attacked from someone publicly or on a team when we're isolated.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: And that that can be a very destructive thing.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so um what a privilege it is to be connected in the body.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know the Bible says forsake not the assembling of yourselves like we are to get together to pray to worship to fellowship to break bread uh to talk um to meet at Kirby's like you and I have done and now Panera so many Wednesdays to talk because I I can speak from my own experience will like there's there's been times where I've left our meetings and have been so uplifted and encouraged by our time in prayer um an encouraging word that you've shared with me and what you didn't know not every time but some of those times I was just kind of caught up in my own way of thinking my own negative approach to a certain situation and I needed to hear something from a brother that I trusted that had my best interest that champions me to encourage me in that time of of mental gymnastics in a negative way.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah praise God yeah you think there are times when it's appropriate and needed for us to withdraw.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah spend time alone with the Lord in prayer uh even Jesus who is in everlasting eternal relationship with God the Father and God the Spirit and yet he needed time we see it often in in the gospels where he withdrew for a time to go up on the mountainside to pray and he know he knew that he needed that that time with the Father.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: So it it's yeah it's it's isol isolation that can make us more vulnerable to the enemy and the attacks and the lies we need each other in the Christian life.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's a life that's not meant to be lived alone.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: How many times though I mean we've we've we've heard the examples of kids who are going through a tough time at home.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah and through whatever circumstances they leave home maybe they're asked to leave or pushed out and they're by themselves and the wrong group or the wrong person um gets a hold of them in their heart and it turns into something that God did not call for them to be a part of whether it's a gang whether it's a negative lifestyle that's not productive we hear the stories we've read the stories it it's it's a tough deal um especially for children but it's not isolated to just kids.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Anytime um we get detached and we don't have a safe place a refuge um where a positive word of encouragement can be spoken um that's never a good thing.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: And and as a coach I've seen it so many times um on in a team where I see a young kid who's having a rough game, had a rough practice and whether it's embarrassment, whether it's you know paranoia, you just want to get away from everybody and that's not always a good thing.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why on teams you need strong leadership.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: I've seen it so many times where it's an assistant coach uh it's a strong leader on the team he'll come alongside um that particular player and just tell him like bro everything's okay you know let's let's go out to eat let's go shoot some free throws and it's amazing how those acts of service in a practical way can change the heart of a of a of a player.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: And that's just a practical team setting.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: How much more important is that in real life situations at in in homes where kids can be hurt by a family situation, a parent the last thing we would ever want to happen to any child or any person is to get isolated from their family and go to a a more negative situation where people can hurt them even more.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah no I and sadly as a pastor I I I also see that all too often in in the church when people are going through a hard time in marriage or they're experiencing loss or disappointment or just pain that's not the time to stay at home.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's the time where you lean in to your community and you you reach out to others and and and it's a it takes courage it takes vulnerability to say we're hurting we need help and would you come alongside us and and support us and the other night we were at a a prayer and worship gathering uh for our good friends uh Michael and Tori whose little seven-year-old daughter Abigail uh was diagnosed with a very serious brain tumor and so we're praying for them but someone who spoke at at that service reminded me of a great passage in Exodus 17 with Moses during the battle against Amalek and and Moses went up to the top of the hill and we read in in Exodus 1711 as long as Moses held up his hands, Israel prevailed but when he let down his hands Amalek started to win the battle and as the day went on Moses understandably got tired his arms grew heavy and we read that Aaron and her were up there with Moses they got a rock for Moses to sit upon and they supported his arms one on each side and it said that Moses's hands were steady until the sun set.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: And Joshua and the Israelites defeated Amalek.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that principle that we can apply to godly friendships is that we need that godly community.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: We need a handful of key friends that are there to hold us up when we're weak, when the enemy attacks when we're feeling worn when when we feel like we can't go on these people often without saying a word just like you said as a teammate or a coach comes along, puts an arm around us and says I got you.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I can't fully bear this weight that you're experiencing but I'm here to help carry that burden and I like how the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge called a good friend like a sheltering tree.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: They provide that cool shade when we need a shelter in the storm and we can lean our backs against that solid trunk of a good friend because they're rooted in God.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that kind of friendship is life giving.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: So what would you say are kind of some of those character qualities that the listener should be looking for as we pray for these kinds of godly friends.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I mean the scriptures say it in Proverbs 177 it says a friend loves at all times like love is is the number one character that um or thing or power that um is the mark of a a really good relationship.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: A friend loves at all time and a brother is born for adversity.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: The Bible says in Proverbs 1824 a man of many companions may come to ruin but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother and that that verse um if I can just share a quick story um from my past when I when I first lost uh my wife Ingrid I I remember vividly um everybody just flocking to Oklahoma City and um we we we live a pretty boring quiet life um then and now with my new wife Lisa and uh I just remember my house just being invaded by so many people that wanted to help, uh were hurting for us and and I just wanted everybody to just kind of leave me alone.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: That was not a great thought but that was how I felt at the time because there were certain people that felt like they had to say something, had to have some sort of answer.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody was hugging me and I I just wanted to just grab my kids and just kind of get away.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: But in those moments you understand why they're there but one thing happened um that just stuck out with me in such a clear cool way I have a friend named Charlie Ward.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_02: He and I have been friends since 19 uh ninety four when we got drafted we got drafted together in New York and he and I were roommates on the road and accountability partners him more for me uh than anything um years later when that happened to us when Ingrid went on to be with the Lord Charlie was one of the uh people there at that house that day and I vividly remember uh going from room to room um just walking around the house the house is packed everybody's cooking and cleaning and and trying to take care of all my kids and Charlie would follow me around the house and everywhere I went he would stop and sit.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I'd go in the kitchen he'd go in the kitchen and he would stand there with me.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I'd go in the family room he would go in the family room and he would sit I'd go to another room and he would go and sit.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it had a huge impression on me because he understood that he couldn't fix what I was going through.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: He understood that he couldn't say anything that was going to help me but he wanted me to know that he was there.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it was so wise and he had enough common sense to know that he wasn't going to fix the pain that I was going through.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: And to this day it just it just sticks out to me uh in a way that is so profound that you have to have a level of godly common sense and that's who Charlie is if you know Charlie he's he's one of the wisest well thought um deliberate in what he says uh people you're ever going to meet and he just understood it yeah and uh he's been one of my best friends for a long long time now and I it just sticks at when we were talking just now I'm like that's Charlie you know even as I'm reading uh this verse you know there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother um a brother is born born for adversity he was born for that for that moment to just be there he didn't say anything he didn't try to hug me he didn't try to touch me he didn't do anything and if you know Charlie he's not a man of many words to begin with yeah it was so inspiring for what I do now when God puts me in a position where I can comfort someone who's been through what I've been through but it was so memorable because of his act of service without saying anything or doing anything it had such a huge impact on me.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah what a testimony um that God used him in that way and often we don't have to say much.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: And and so that was a beautiful example just to be present have a ministry of presence uh you don't have to worry about am I saying the right thing am I um helping enough and I think about that other proverb Proverbs 276 faithful are the wounds of a friend but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy sometimes you need that friend to speak hard truth and you you you hope they and pray they do it in a way that's loving and just that balance of grace and truth but somebody who's not just a yes man but that says hey there's an area of your life that you might need to check and and you you pray they are are using God's wisdom and and I'm sure they're praying about just how best to confront this in a in a way that's helpful and loving as a fellow brother in Christ.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so we should pray you know for those those kind of godly honest friendships and those kindred spirits you know you share a similar pursuit of the Lord and his word you might have similar interests you might have a shared sense of humor but most of all that that shared love for the Lord and and a common conviction integrity.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: You quoted Proverbs 27 as iron sharpens iron.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know you can't sharpen iron if you're not seeking to be iron yourself.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: And none of us are perfect we're all still in in process but with this kind of friend you have the freedom to be yourself faults and all they see the good and the bad and and they still love you anyway.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can be honest with them and knowing that they're not going to judge you and there's enough trust there's enough emotional capital deposited there in the relationship where you know the person is going to be there.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna hold up your arms at times if if necessary.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's so important you know have have those friends like Charlie Ward and so is there any practical advice or closing words of encouragement that you can give to someone who may not have that kind of a friend and they're seeking this kind of godly friendship?
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I I think you have to obviously pray and ask God to to bring that person and he will.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: There may be some things that need to be removed from our lives before God does what he's going to do in terms of a relationship.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then I think you have to have um a level of humility as we see so many times in these relationships like the Jonathan humility.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: Barnabas humility the story of Apollos in in the book of Acts uh chapter 18 the Bible says a Jew named Apollos a native Alexandrian uh an eloquent man who was powerful in the use of the scriptures like this dude was you know he he would be in the who's who of our society uh based on what the scriptures say about him.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh verse 25 says this man had been instructed in the way of the Lord and he was fervent in spirit and he spoke and taught the things about Jesus accurately but it also says although he knew only John's baptism so there was there was something missing um in his bag if you will and the Bible says he he spoke boldly in the synagogue and then here's here's the the relationship piece and and the courage that we see from a couple who we always see presented together uh this couple named Priscilla and Aquila uh the Bible says after Priscilla and Aquila heard him they took him home and explained the way of God to him more accurately and and and we see a number of things here we see the humility of Apollos as you read the story further you have to have a level of humility to have this standing in society eloquent fervent um he's got a good name and yet you see the courage of this common couple to take him to the side to explain the scriptures to him more accurately.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah and and there's probably more um there um that we could talk about yeah but the fruit of it um is in verse 28 where later on it speaks of Apollos it says for he vigorously refuted the Jews in public demonstrating through the scriptures that Jesus is the Messiah and and that came about because he had a heart to receive um that probably is one of the things that we all should pray for is a heart to receive encouragement, wisdom, counsel, um being called up if you will when we're out of order from people that love us and as you said earlier champion us and love us enough to tell us the truth and it reminds me so much of my time in coaching whether it's in the pros or or in high school one of the hardest things that I've ever had to deal with is telling someone the truth when I knew it was going to cost me.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it cost me my job but there was something in my heart that was much bigger than my own success, my own relationship with this person.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it's been amazing over the years where I've had different players come to me later on and some guys thank me and some guys just express how they were glad that I shared with them what I shared with them.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I I get a chance to tell them like I was I was you you know 20 years ago when Doc Rivers pulled me to the side when Derek Harper pulled me to the side when Nate McMillan pulled me to the side and shared truth with me Herb Williams who was my vet in New York he pulled me to the side and he he would undress me on a number of occasions just to tell me what I needed to hear.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_02: There has to be a level of humility in those moments to receive um something that you may not always want to hear.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: And uh we we see this with Apollos you know they they um explain the way of God to him more accurately and he could have been prideful he could have been the dude that says you know what I'm eloquent I'm fervent in spirit I'm not trying to hear it from y'all well that's just pride.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: Right and and how often does pride get us in trouble?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_02: Every time you know the Bible says pride leads to destruction.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah you know and that's something that I've I've fallen prey to so many times in my life every time I look at a bad decision or a bad situation that I've gotten myself in more times than not it's led with pride as opposed to the humil humility that we see from this dude Apollos and um the fruit of his his humility led to the scriptures um demonstrating the scriptures that Jesus is the Messiah like what more could we want in this life than to share Jesus with the world.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it came from a level of humility that was on full display in Acts 18.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: No it was it was an amazing testimony not only the courage of of Priscilla and Aquila we need the Priscillas and the Aquilas in our lives To privately take us aside at times and not publicly embarrass us or shame us, but pull us aside, provide the coaching, and then as you said, Apollos was then ready to to powerfully demonstrate by the scriptures that Jesus was the Christ and and he had a very effective and and fruitful ministry in in Corinth.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so as we close, you know, we thank God that we have found those kinds of friends.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a Charlie Ward, um the friendship that we have with one another.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: And and we pray that kind of friendship for the listener.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we pray that God brings you some of those life-giving sheltering trees.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: And please feel free to email us if you have prayer needs, anything that we can give up to the Lord, we want to do that on your behalf.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: The email address is Mani at coaching for the number four, life.us, or will at coaching for life.us.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: And let me pray for our listeners now.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, we thank you that we can look to you as our Lord and Savior and also our friend and a source of great comfort and strength.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: We need you, Lord, in this life.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: And would you also provide those sheltering trees, those friends that are there to support us?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we need a barnabas in our life.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_00: We need those uh people that are there to lift our arms up at times when we when we're weary, when we're tired.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And Lord, we need one another uh to lock arms and to help sharpen each other.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: And Lord, as we look over during the race of life, we want to see fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that are are right there running the race with us, stride for stride, and together we are pursuing you, Lord, and the Christ-centered life.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: We ask for this in the name of Jesus.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for spending time with us today.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, whatever you're facing, know that God loves you and He has a good plan for you.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll see you next time.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for joining us at Coaching for Life.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: And please subscribe wherever you receive this content.