Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Newbie Night Returns!

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The Fifth Hour: Newbie Night Returns! · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: The air eywhere the fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and you as we are together in the audio sweatshop.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: That does not stop the factory of funness, unlike the
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Cleveland Browns that have the factory of sadness. Of course
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: you'll be the judge of that. Today is day one
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: forty nine. Doing some double dipping. Today we did the
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: overnight show, took a little pause, came back in the
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: remote studio here to give you fresh pod. We did
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: the radio show. Now we do the podcast. There are
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: two hundred and forty one days left and this is
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: the final Friday podcast for the month of May twenty
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: twenty six. You see, on Monday we will flip the calendar,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: and in southern California that means June gloom. If you
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: don't know what that is, that's called the marine layer
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: that settles in and does not leave. Now, typically June gloom.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: That's like a Midwestern thing, the gloomy weather, and all
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I get that in LA. I remember my guy Bob Page,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: who I worked with briefly in the early days of
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Fox Sports Rado. Bob is a Michigan guy. He had
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: worked in New York and he was so upset as
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I remember having a conversation with him at Jerry's Deli
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: and he was annoyed because of the weather, and we
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: had a conversation about the fact that my people think
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: of California, they think of sun and June gloom is
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: where it's overcast at the beginning. I never really experienced
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: it doing the overnight show. I'm sleeping when it's gloomy,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: and then I'll get up midday and that's when the
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: sun starts burning through the clouds and the haze, and
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: then you have a beautiful sunny afternoon. But early on,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: if you're a morning person, there is this thing called
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: June gloom. It is National Heat Awareness Day today, So
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: if you were not aware that heat is bad for you,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: then I don't know what to do, but it is
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  Speaker 1: National Heat Awareness Day. And the term heat wave goes
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: back many, many years. The earliest widespread use came during
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: some very bad summers in the eighteen nineties. And I
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: love this story and I wanted to share it with
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: you because they The story goes that newspapers in the
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: eighteen nineties all fighting with each other and they sensationalized
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: weather coverage, much like they still do today. By the
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: early twentieth century, the term heat wave became a standard
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: meteorological phrase, and so it's been around since the eighteen nineties.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: One of the earliest uses of the term heat wave
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  Speaker 1: came during the terrible summer. A lot a bunch of
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: people died and newspapers went over the top on the
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: weather coverage, and so the term heat wave became a
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: thing around that time. So turning the page, though, I
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: want to look back at the week that was here
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: on the radio show, and this is the podcast. I
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: understand that the highlight for me, and I don't know
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: what the highlight for you was, but there was no highlight.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: The highlight for me came Wednesday into Thursday, our Thursday show.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: So yesterday, not because somebody got traded. No, no, no, there
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: were no coaches fired. Not because blind Scott wandered into
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: seven to eleven at three point thirty in the morning
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  Speaker 1: looking for emotional support and expired coupons. None of that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: No, No.
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  Speaker 1: The highlight was what is supposed to be our monthly ritual?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: What is that? I will give you the letter N
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: times two, the letter N times to. What is that?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that is? That is new B night.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Hooray for new B night. That's right, A cleansing, a perge,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: pressing the reset button. How many other cliches can I
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: come up with? Here we reset from the essence of
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: traditional overnight radio. And every single time we do this,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I am reminded that the silent majority is still alive
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: and breathing. You're out there in the darkness, exist, you
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: have a pulse, and yet some of you even have
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: the bluetooth. Now, the term silent majority, well, it's been
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: around for a while. It was really and that this
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: is still fifty some years ago. I think it's closer
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: to sixty years now. The President Richard Nixon, tricky Dick,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: used that during the Vietnam War, that phrase that was
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: a big part of his phrase, there were a lot
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: of people protesting the Vietnam War, didn't like it, and
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: they were all over the TV and the hippie movement
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: and all that in the nineteen seventies, and maybe it
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: was in the sixties. I think it was the seventies,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: and because the Vietnam War ended in nineteen seventy five
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: ish right around there. Anyway, listen, I'm just spitballing here.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: It's a podcast. Okay, oh, you got it wrong, but
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I'm gotta send you a seventeen page email to tell
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you you got it wrong. The point is that Richard
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Nixon used that phrase to say the silent majority of
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: people actually supported the military, and the media coverage was
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: not accurate. I want to get down that rabbit hole.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I just want to point that out. So I like
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: the phrase silent majority, and I am reminded on a
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Newbie night that the silent majority of people are there,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: and hopefully you're part of that. We get trapped in
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: silos doing these shows. Radio develops its own ecosystem, which
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I love. I'm very excited. I want to be in radio.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I've been in radio my entire life pretty much. It's
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: like an aquarium. When you work in radio and we
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: are just the fish swimming around, the regular callers become
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: nocturnal zoo animals, beloved zoo animals. Don't get me wrong, legends.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: We mentioned blind Scott Hollering, James Marcel and Brooklyn with
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: his verbal gibberish, Mike the Leprechaun from Boston and all
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: of his interesting activity, Jed who fled from the Redneck Riviera.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I going on. Even guys that don't call very often,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: like our friend from the Walmart in Northern Minnesota. There's
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: some names that you hear, like Alf the alien, O
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: piner fer Dog, late night drug tester, the Milkman from Colorado.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: These are names I lean from San Francisco. These are
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: names that have become synonymous with the show. They send
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: in comments and we react to them, and that's how
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: that goes. So all of them supporting cast members of
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: the Audio Circus. And however, after a while, the regulars
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: become kind of like that recliner that you have in
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: your living room. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: it's off to the right, comfortable, reliable, slightly stained. You
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: stop noticing it's there until the springs pop up and
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: stab you in the thigh or even worse, the tuck
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: us so Newbie Night is that night each month that
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: reminds you that the listenership is bigger than the people
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: who call every night like they're paying their rent. And
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want to sit here and say, well, this
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: is excellent. We I'll just say we have hundreds of
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: thousands of listeners. We're very lucky, we're very blessed. Who
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: eves drop in in these little conversations that we have,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: and that's the magic of the radio. Like they listen
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: these people while and hopefully you're one of them. While
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: driving forklifts or stalking shelves at the grocery store. You're
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: dodging a raccoon behind a convenience store and a shady
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: part of town on the wrong side of the tracks.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: You're delivering delicious pastries. You're making donuts. You're a cop
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: arresting bad guys, or a bad guy looking to get
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: through the night without getting arrested. You're a truck driver
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: hauling lumber. You're driving through the back roads of Wyoming,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: whether it's the summer and it's hot or the winter
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: and there's snowstorms, or you're pretending to work security at
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: a empty office building. All of those type of jobs,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: all of those jobs. And these people, you people, right,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: you hear the regular callers. And let's face it, these
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: guys are celebrities in our little silo that we're in
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: on our aquarium. They're the big fish and they get
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: the special treatment. And you're probably thinking, well, I can't
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: compete with that lunatic screaming about bigfoot in central Maine
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: and TikTok and all that, So you stay quiet, which
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: is why Newbie Night again, I'll use the word therapeutic.
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  Speaker 1: It's chicken soup for the audio soul, a warm blanket
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: in a cold, cold world filled with a bunch of
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  Speaker 1: spam text people that annoy you at every spot in
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: your life. Bad Wi Fi, those annoying QR codes. You
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: have to use it to get the menu. Why can't
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I get a menu? We don't do paper menus. Why
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: don't you do paper menus? Well, we just don't do
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: it since the pandemic pandemic's over, I don't care. Here's
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: a QR code and if you want to see the menu,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: you'll click on it. And that's it. And this week
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Newby Knight delivered the goods it did. We had Sean
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: from New Jersey, Jersey City, right across from Manhattan, who
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: called up with his thick New York accent. Sounded like
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: it had been marinated in garlic knots with marinera and
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: some steam from the subway, like it had that kind
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: of sound to it. There were other listeners who said,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, that sounds like Steve from Manhattan. Like
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: all those New Yorkers and Jersey ins, their New Jersey
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: ins all sound the same. So anyway, this guy, Sean
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: a nice chap. He seemed very excited to be on
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: the air, longtime listener, first time caller, and he wanted
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: to talk Knickerbockers. I immediately trusted him because misery recognizes misery.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: I'm a Clipper fan, of course, I know times are
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: good right now for the Knicks, and even with that,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: they haven't won yet, and Nick fans carry emotional damage
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: the way turtles carry their shells. They're so close, but
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: so far from winning the title. There's those four wins,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: those last four wins, which won't happen, can't happen till Wednesday,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: because that's when the finals begin be locked in date.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Then there was Lawrence from Vancouver. I love this guy's story.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Lawrence beat stage four cancer. How about that? That is
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: a domination situation which automatically makes anything that I bitch
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: about and complain about sound absolutely ridonculous. Oh no, my
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: hotel didn't offer me a late checkout even though I
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: checked in at one in the morning. Now, meanwhile, this
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: guy Lawrence, he is the guy that stared mortality in
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: the face and said, not today, you lose there, I'm
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: sticking around. He's also a Lions fan. We talked about
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: the Knicks in that situation with Sean, But this guy
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Lawrence who called up. That means the man clearly enjoys
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: surviving impossible situations if you're a Lions fan. And we
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: met him. By the way, I met Lawrence, he was
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: at the Great Vancouver Meet and Greet. Thanks to our
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: buddy Nico, who starred on the mail Bag last week
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: on this podcast or no two weeks ago. Last week
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: was no Streudinas so a couple weeks ago. Tremendous guy,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: positive energy of talking about both Nico and Lawrence, and
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Lawrence the kind of person who makes you feel a
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: little guilty when you get annoyed because of the TSA
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: at the airport, the screening you had Adriel, I believe
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I'm saying that correctly. Probably not from San Antonio. He
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: called in while grinding doing the overnight food delivery thing,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: trying to support his family, keep the wife and the
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: kids happy. You could tell that this little dopey radio
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: show means a little bit more to him, and that
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: made me feel really good. It felt genuine. This was
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: not embellished, This was not any of that. This was
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: a guy who enjoys what we do helps him get
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: through the night. And I love it. And I'll still
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: complain about my phone charger falling behind the night stand,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: although side by side, I think I'm in much better shape. Obviously,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Adriel is out there navigating the food delivery game in
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the middle of the night, trying to keep the economy alive.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: One bag of burgers or burrito's or spicy chicken, I
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: don't know anyway. Terry in Minneapolis called up newbe night.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: He called about We talked about truck driving. I believe
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: he mentioned that he's a seasonal listener. He listens to
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: the podcast part of the year. Life on the Roads,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: the Highways and byways, and then in the summer he
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: drives overnight and so yeah, in the winter he tries
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: to avoid the black ice. Don't blame him, so it
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: drives during the day, and then the summer he's with
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: us at night. And black ice is one of those
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: really terrifying phrases. It sounds like a rejected Batman villain. Tonight,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Gotham faces the black Ice and will Batman save the
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: day with his trustees sidekick Robin. Now, truckers casually discuss
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: weather conditions that I would argue you guys are are
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: truck divers. I would argue truck or Joe and moving Man,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Matt and all you guys like you guys talk about
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: these weather conditions that would send the average suburban driver
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: into therapy, extended therapy. And the Minnesota boys also confirmed
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: that we are still in the good graces of the
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Power Trip. We're still being talked about on the Power
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Trip Morning Show, which is great to hear. These guys
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: the Powertrip Morning Show on Kfan are superstars. They dominate
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: the ratings, They have a massive following, and the fact
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: that we have been rubber stamped by the Power Trip
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: means a lot. Now, I know a number of you
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: guys in the Twin Cities and all over the state
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: of Minnesota get up early because you're trying to beat
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: the traffic in Minneapolis and Saint Paul, and so that's
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: kind of cool. But the fact that we've been endorsed
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: by the Power Trip means a little more. Then we
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: had Bill Miller, not his real name and not the
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: character on the Overnight Show. This Bill Miller in the
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Denver area who took the malor Oath Holy Skeeter in
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Montana Batman, the late Great Skeeter now the malor Oath.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Some dismiss it as a cheesy bit on the radio. However,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: it is a sacred moment like being knighted, except with
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: more deep sarcasm and fewer functioning sleep schedule. Yeah, the
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: sleep schedules all messed up. The malor Oath A big deal.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: A big deal, Craig from you, I'm trying to remember
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: all these guys. Craig from Utah called up to apologize
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: for being upset with my Raider take of a couple
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: of years ago, questioning the decision to go with Gino
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Smith and Pete Carroll as the quarterback coach and Craig's
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: like listen. I listened one of the first nights I listened.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I like the Raiders, and he was. He was annoyed.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: He was he was bothered by what he heard, didn't
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: like the naked truth. And so that alone, the fact
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: that he called up Craig to apologize, which is not
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: necessary at all because ninety nine percent of the time
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: that doesn't happen, and that alone should qualify him for sandhood.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Raider fans spent half their lives defending decisions that even
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Tom Brady and the Raiders themselves cannot defend or explain.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: This guy, Sean, if I remember correctly, I think his
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: name Sean from Newport Beach, beautiful place, chimed in complaining
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: about the the Raiders and then went to a baseball game,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: an Angels game, and said he was bored out of
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: his mind. Where he says he's not a baseball fan,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: but the way the Angels play, that's like, obviously you'd
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: be bored. That's the least controversial statement in modern America.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: My guy Mark from Queens, who is a regular on
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: the X Machine, not a regular caller. He got me
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: talking about words and verbiage and language and lexicon and
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: all that stuff. And I love words. I like the
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: fact that Mark actually appreciates that I try to change
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: the verbal cadence every hour on the hour. He also
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: mentioned some old radio stars back in the nineties, Jim Rome,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: the Great Tony Bruno, and a long closed down watering
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: hole named Moose mcgillicutties, which was on the iconic Colorado
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Boulevard in Pasadena. And oh, by the way, it is
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: interesting to note, as Vin Scully would say if he
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: was alive, it is interesting to know that apparently there
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: is still one Moose mcgilly cutties left. It is in Maui, which,
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: according to their website, is the original location that was
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: franchised up and down the West coast. Who knew? It
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: feels impossible, like certain businesses. And ah again there's another thing,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: you know. I'm getting older and things are changing, and
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: that's the way life is. I get it. That's, you know,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: out with the old and with the new. It's it's
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: one of those businesses though, or restaurants. Moose McGill cutties
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: was this old bar hung out there at Fairmountain. Good
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Appetizer's Happy hour was the way to go, and I
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: would when I lived in Hollywood, I'd take the train up.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: They actually do have a subway. If you want to
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: hang out with criminals and homeless that haven't showered since
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: the aughts, you could get to that anyway. So I
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: would go up there and hang on. And so he
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: mentioned it Mark from Queen's and so then I fell
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: down a rabbit hole trying to find photos of it.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: And then I said, well, wait, there's one left. It's
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: in Maui. But it does feel like that the thing
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: that should only exist in memories like Blockbuster Video or
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Toys r Us or Radio Shack, and hearing that Moose
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: mcgillicuddies still exists is like finding out that the woolen
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: mammoths are quietly living in Montana, where the unibomber used
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: to live, and they've opened up a bait shop. However
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: they only sell the bait online. Then there was a
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: guy named Ambrose I believe, I think I'm saying that
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: right from Pennsylvan, the Keystone State, and he had mentioned
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: he was up since three in the morning delivering Fredo
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: lay products. Do you realize how important that job is
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: to modern society? I am convinced that the civilization would
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: collapse within seventy two hours three days if people could
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: not locate Fredo's and sour cream and onion chips. That's it.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: That's all. And finally, possibly the most important of them all,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Carol from Connecticut, who I'm pretty sure we'll never hear
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: this podcast. She's out of the podcast demo unless somebody says, hey, Carol,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: that Malar guy talked about you on the pot. Then
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: she'll try to fuze around and figure it out. Carol,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: though saved the overnight show the newbie night. Now this
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: guy Reggie, who you know of from the mailbag on Sunday.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Reggie is one of those guys that's never called the
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: show and is a big fan of the show, although
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: for some reason does not use Twitter. I think he
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: had mentioned an email that he's not allowed to be
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: on the phone at night while he's working, so he
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: does not participate that way. He doesn't email for the
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: fifth hour pretty much every week. I said this the
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: other night. I think it's true. He has sent more
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: email than my biggest supporters like Alf the Ilien Opinter
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: and Ferg Dog and Malo prop Guy and all those guys.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: So he's really but for some reason. I guess maybe
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: he was off of work or something like that, or
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: he was feeling sneaky, and he emailed me. He said,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: you know, Ben, there's no women that have called. You've
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: been doing Newbie Night all night and there's no women
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: that have called. Or you're pitching a perfect game of
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: male dysfunction junction and what's your function? Testosterone overload? And
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: then Carol woke up. She still had the sleepy voice.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: She called the show and broke up the no hitter.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: The perfect game had ended, a historic moment, and the
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: lone female nubi, like the kool Aid Man, to crash
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: the gates. Here standing triumphantly. I guess the analogy, we're
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: like Rudy stepping onto the field that notre name, getting
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: carried off on the shoulders. And so anyway, listen, I
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: can go on and on. I'm sure I'm forgetting a
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: bunch of people. But these nights, these nights restore me
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: my my faith in humanity. It's early. However, they only
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: work because they're rare and appropriate. I believe the Goldbielocks
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: theory of sports radio applies here. If you have too
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: many Newby Knights, you do it every week newby Night
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: all right for nuby Night, disaster chaos, audio inflation. Suddenly
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: everybody's special, which means nobody is special now if you
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: have too few. Much like in Goldilocks, the show becomes
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: a community, the aquarium, the silo, where the same six
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: callers hold hoa meetings about pancake batter and backup quarterbacks
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and all that. We did a couple of monologues about
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: backup quarterbacks and quarterback controversies. JJ McCarthy and Minnesota did
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: the rant about Tua Tongua Baiala, and there were a
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: couple others as well. You need it just right, that's
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: the sweet spot, that's the balance, that's the secret. Sauce.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Follow the recipe. Also, selfishly, these newbe Knights remind me
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: one of the reasons I wanted to get into radio
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: in the first place. Right, Not for corporate muckety MUCKs
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: breathing down my neck and the meetings and all that stuff.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Not for the PowerPoint presentations, certainly not for the money
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: because that's not as great as it was, And not
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: for executives using phrases like brandsy while eating stale muffins
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: and all that. It's the random human connection, the guy
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: hauling potatoes or whatever through Minnesota, the cancer survivor in Vancouver,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: the food delivery guy busting his ass for his kids
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: who don't appreciate it in San Antonio. They'll appreciate when
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: you get older or they get older. The guy delivering
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: the chips in Pennsylvania. The random woman who woke up
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: in Connecticut and said, listen, I am going to end
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: this sausage fest. I'm going to end it right now.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: That's it, and I'm gonna call up. That's the show,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: that's the heartbeat of all of this. The callers are
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: like ornaments on this bizarre overnight Christmas tree, if you will.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: And we've got some shiny, some broken, some hanging on
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: by a thread, and you put them all together and
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: you put your right foot in, you take your right
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: foot out, and you do the whole poke. And that's
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: how it works. And for one night every month, the
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: silent majority stops being silent, which is pretty cool. So
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: thank you for those that participated. I appreciate it. We
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: will do it again at some point, likely in late June.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: We'll have another new by Night, all right, for new
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: b Night, because we love our newbi Nights. Meanwhile, we
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: also love foody fun, yes right, I oh my god,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: they're gonna do foody fun yes. So I'm not gonna
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: go along on this. I know we ranted and raved
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: about newby Night for a while. So these are actual
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: food stories that we have tracked down on the dark web,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: real legitimate foodie stuff. Because everyone's got to eat, and
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: we want to eat different things.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Jack in the Box, which is not everywhere, although it
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: is in the West quite a bit. Jack of the
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Box introduced the new hot Ones Munchie meal with hot ones, siracha,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: curly fry, burger okay, hot ones, sauced and loaded fries,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: and more. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good again. These things,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: as I point out, on a weekly basis here when
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: we do we don't do this every week. We used
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: to do it every week. You talk about foody fun
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: and a lot of this stuff is just the food
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: industry lobbying the restaurants saying, hey, let's let's make protein
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: a big thing, so we're gonna promote that our foods
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: are filled with protein or siracha or whatever it might be.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: It's like, it's not just an accident that all of
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: a sudden, all these restaurants start serving the same type
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: of foods. It's not it's just not by design. The
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: puppet masters and the puppets. Burger King welcoming back the
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Crown Nuggets nationwide and they've added the new Crayola themed
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: meals because that's that's what you need, that sight. Yeah,
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: fan favorite nuggets can be ordered as part of the
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: three ninety nine King Junior Meal with a side and
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: a drink or an eight piece order. The Crayola themed
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: King Junior Meal launches June ninth, and as they always say,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: we'll be available wiles supplies last. Yes, absolutely so. The
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Crown Nuggets, though, will be beginning next week. Was it Tuesday?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Tuesday June tewond at participating in restaurants again, limited time,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: walls supplies last. There you go, alright, amazing, amazing. I
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: would like to point out, though, fun fact, this is
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: for Alf the alien o Pinter who's slinging those T shirts.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: So the Crown Nuggets have not been part of Burger
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: King's lineup, the firstationwide come back in fifteen years. Can
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: we can you wrap your head around the fact that
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: we have had to wait for our Crown nuggets for
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: fifteen f in years. That is a great injustice. That
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: is not right. It's a shame that we had to
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: wait that long. My god, A whata burger? What a
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: shot water burger? This is the favorite restaurant of Patrick
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: mahomes Mahomie. So what a Burger has introduced the new
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: hot honey crisp. What a chicken sandwich? I wonder where
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: they came up with that in how many consultants? How
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: many consultants? What a Burger? How many outside agencies had
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: to get together? So we're known as what a burger?
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: We want to focus on chicken? What should we call
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: the chicken? I don't know? How about what are chicks?
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Or what a chick? How about that? Let's do that? Okay,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: seems good? Why not? We'll do it? Okay, wonderful, it's done.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Here's a check for a million dollars. Taco Bell is
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: bringing back shredded beef dipping taco that is coming back.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: They also have new shredded beef nacho fries. That doesn't
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: sound bad. What else do we have? I think we
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: talked something about this in previous episode. I don't remember,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: and so I'm just gonna give it to you again.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: If you've already heard this, you can kick me in
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: the nuts. Bush's Beans bringing classic seasonal flavors to barbecues
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: in cookouts in a brand new way the summer limited
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Edition flavors. The new flavors include rocket pop, apple pie
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: because who doesn't want beans that taste like apple pie?
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: And dill pickle, which is disgusting. That must be for
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: alf the alien opiner. Yeah, wow, that is. I want
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: some can I dessert? Okay? What do you want? You
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: want like a cake? You want cupcakes? You want a pie?
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Can I get some apple pie? Okay, we'll go down.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: We're gonna bake you an apple pie? No, no, no,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: I don't. I do not want. I don't want an
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: apple pie. I want baked beans that taste like apple pie. Wow, okay,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: you want that a la mode. We'll put some vanilla
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: ice cream. Okay. The rocket pop thing, that's those red
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: white or I guess yeah, the red white and blue lollies, right,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: they called rocket pops. I guess I think that's it. Eh,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: All right, there you go. And they're promoting I just
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: mentioned this a second ago. They're promoting all the protein
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: they have in their beans per servant. You can get
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: a variety of easy heat and eat options. That's right,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: just heat and eat. That's all you need to do.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: All right, it's a good line. I have to add
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: that to my my lexicon. Now what else do we
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: have on the food he fun? Hooray for food he fun.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Chipotle is testing yep, fried chicken, crispy fried chicken in
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: select locations. It appears they are advancing from the Stone
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Age of chicken to the next level. Customers first spotting
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: the item at the Chipotle in Tustin in the OC
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and Orange County. Additional sightings popping up in Irvine, including
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: a location on Irvine Boulevard if you're in southern California.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: So the new crispy chicken, which just looks like what
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: it is, fried chicken cut up in little bite sized pieces.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: And according to the food Insiders, who's the Adam Schefter
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: of food, there must be somebody in food Beast or
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: something or fast food news. Yeah, they accorded to food Insiders,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: the crispy chicken can be added to burritos, bowls, tacos,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: and salads for about one dollar more than these standard
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: grilled chicken. Do you think it really costs them one
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: dollar more to make the fried chicken. It's pretty easy
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: to fry chicken. It's really not that hard to fry
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: the chicken. Not that hard at all. I'm just saying now,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: speaking of that, we're gonna get out on this. So
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: the actor and fanboy of the Knicks, Timothy chalomet Man,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: is he having fure So his Knicks are in the
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: NBA Finals, which begin this coming Wednesday. He's an Academy
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: Award nominated actor. Apparently he's a big deal with tabloids
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: love talking about his style. He's dating a Kardashian slash Jenner.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: They think he's with Kylie. I think, yeah, he loves
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: the Knicks and in the finals all that and oh,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: by the way, getting free Chipotle. Yeah, yeah, that's the
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: other day Chipotle surprising. I'm sure it was a total shock.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I wasn't like they agreed to. They surprised the actor
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: and big Nick fan courtside at the Eastern Conference Finals
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: at Madison Square Garden with the coveted custom celebrity card,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: an exclusive. They say VIP perk reserve for a very
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: small circle of elitists, the one percenters in society. The athletes,
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: the musicians, the creators, the super fans. How come us
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: sports radio guys don't get that We used to get
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: this stuff back in the day. What's up with that? Anyway?
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: What is the very exclusive coveted celebrity card. It grants
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: free Chipotle for a year for a year. Think of
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: it like we talk about the Golden Ticket, the Willy
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Wonka Golden Ticket and all that. So for fast casual,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: this is where it's at now. The reason doing this
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: is because randomly Timothy schallo May posted on Instagram on
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: his story about eating a burrita bowl inside a Chipotle restaurant.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: So they're like, oh, wait a minute, he gave us
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: free advertising. We'll hook him up because clearly like he's
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: in bad shape. Timothy Chalome, I mean, my god. And
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: it's always a real heartwarming story, heartwarming story when a
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: guy down on his luck, living in the Tenderloin district,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: the really hard scrabble streets of society, who just may
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: or may not be worth I don't know, thirty five
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: dollars or thirty five million dollars can end the hunger
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: in his belly. The hunger strike is over and he
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: gets free food. Oh isn't that just freaking wonderful? How
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: great is that? We're so happy, We're so so happy.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: On that note, we'll get out of here and got
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: a big weekend ahead and we'll have new pods on.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know I'm gonna talk about. We'll figure something out.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about Friday. I don't have
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: to worry about that till tomorrow. But we'll have a
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: new episode of the Fifth Hour podcast which will be
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: taking place on Saturday, and then on Sunday the mail Bag,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: and I believe if he shows up, we're gonna have
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: a heavy hitter, a heavyweight on the mail Bag. Robbie
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: the Mariner fan. Robbie the Mariner Fan scheduled to pop
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: up on the Fifth Hour mail Bag, a return for
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Robbie as we rotate our celebrity p ones. I was
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: shocked not every p one wanted to take part in this.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I've reached out to a few of you and you said,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I'm good. I don't want to be part of that.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: So maybe all'll talk more about that later. Very surprising.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: On that note, though, so yeah, you want to send
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: a letter and try to get it in today by tonight,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: on this Friday for the mail bag on Sunday, So
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: we'll see how that goes. Have a wonderful rest of
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: your Friday, and as can date and would say bye bye.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I said bye bye.