Latest / Most Things Kenobi - A Star Wars Podcast / Episode 27: The Legend of Salacious B. Crumb

Transcript

Episode 27: The Legend of Salacious B. Crumb · Most Things Kenobi - A Star Wars Podcast

0:00
Hello, there. It's time for most things
0:03
Kenobi. Hey everybody.
0:17
Welcome to another episode of most things Kenobi.
0:20
A podcast about Obi-Wan Kenobi and all things Star Wars.
0:23
I'm your host Lauren, and I'm your host Leanne, and this week,
0:35
you're already so excited to see this week is dedicated to the
0:42
one and only The infamous salacious be crumb.
0:53
Please, please tell me you know who he is listeners because if
0:57
you don't, ya get it together. He's wonderful.
1:04
He's hideous to look at. Some might find him kind of,
1:08
he's a little rough around the edges.
1:10
Yeah, he's Muppet E. I suppose.
1:12
We should explain who this is. Would you like to do the honors
1:16
or sure? I, sure.
1:21
Well, I'll tell say who he is because you know more about him
1:24
than I do. So I'll introduce him and then
1:26
introduce that salacious be crumb to our listeners.
1:30
Master crumb is a, who is the pet of Jabba, the Hutt for those
1:39
of you don't know, he's also Hondo has one.
1:41
He's a monkey lizard. Yes.
1:43
But salacious be Chrome was particularly job as pet.
1:46
And you see him in Return of the Jedi, his the little like
1:50
Gremlin. They as it said is if job ahead
1:55
feet where his feet would be like he's sitting next to lay on
1:58
the throne, he curls in like his fat roll.
2:02
Yeah. You I know why would you want to
2:07
sit with probably Norm there? I mean you're probably you're
2:14
right, but that's horrifying. That is terrible.
2:17
Well, salacious be crumb is His species is a CO a qian monkey
2:24
lizard. So it's an actual species in the
2:27
world of Star Wars in the galaxy.
2:30
And we're going to go over some facts about monkey lizards.
2:35
Yes, please. Educate me for those who may not
2:38
know there's more than meets the eye when it comes to these
2:40
little guys and, and gals. They are there from co-ack which
2:46
makes sense kulak Ian. I don't know anything about
2:51
co-ack though. I didn't even know that was a
2:54
planet. Totally their hair color is
2:59
reddish brown. Their eyes are yellow.
3:01
Like you said, they have fur around the neck and kind of
3:04
oddly shaped weird beak. I remember salacious having like
3:10
a little bit of a belly. Yeah.
3:12
Like a little hot, You need friend you know like yes.
3:16
Yeah that's so accurate. The skinny fat and I think
3:22
they're only like two feet tall too.
3:25
Yeah. So they're not very big again
3:27
would stand on your shoulder and be kind of like a parrot.
3:30
Yeah because like Hondo. Yeah Hondo.
3:33
Ohnaka has his that crawls all over his head and all over his
3:36
shoulders and peeks out from behind his hair and all this
3:38
stuff. And then that's basically what
3:40
salacious be crumb. Is all about but he did it to
3:43
Jabba the Hutt and as everyone knows job of the hot.
3:47
Pretty famous the most famous Hut the big, you know, slug
3:53
human look, I guess it's not a human.
3:55
He I guess they originally meant for Java to be a human who had
3:59
like skin disease that turned him into a Hut.
4:02
But now the Huts are like a thing.
4:04
So yeah. Yeah.
4:06
The Huts are a thing and and Leia killed him.
4:09
So get it girl, the Huts layer Us layer.
4:17
How did salacious get his name? There's a story behind it.
4:21
Oh, the like the Star Wars behind-the-scenes story that I
4:25
have. Yeah you know that I can tell
4:26
you that that is so the production crew had invented
4:30
just this like little puppet he wasn't anything.
4:32
He was just basically a side attraction and George.
4:37
Lucas told the production team I need you to come up with a name
4:41
for him probably because he wanted to like create merch or
4:45
something like merchandise. Yeah.
4:47
Well they named everything in Star Wars.
4:49
Yeah. Seems right everything.
4:52
So the guys went out to lunch and had like a couple of
4:57
pitchers of beer and could not come up with a name, they were
5:00
really struggling to like come up with a good name for this
5:02
puppet. Can they were getting picture?
5:04
This though, can you picture this moment of trying to come up
5:08
with a name for this miniscule creature who has like four lines
5:12
and they're all laughing and this is your day of work, right?
5:15
Yeah is to go and I'll name a puppet.
5:21
So they were getting up to leave and they were, you know, a
5:24
little bit drunk because they've been drinking so much beer and
5:27
the guy, one of the crew was like, hold on a second.
5:30
I gotta tie my shoelaces and like, slurred his sentence
5:33
together and ever. Everyone was like, oh, that's a
5:37
good name. So, they went back and they told
5:39
George Lucas like, what about shoelaces and George?
5:42
Lucas was like no, absolutely not, not too late.
5:46
Hey, It. So he he rejected it and then
5:52
George Lucas came back later and took the idea and changed it to
5:56
salacious be crumb and of course it's the rest is history.
6:02
Does anyone know what the b stands for or is it a mystery?
6:06
I I would prefer it to remain a mystery because I think it adds
6:09
a coolness factor to our little earlier food or like in The
6:16
Simpsons. Homer, j-- Simpson, just stands
6:18
for J. Yeah, there you go.
6:20
His, his initials is just for the ja YJ.
6:25
So it's not different. you know, that salacious has a cousin No,
6:32
gibberish crumb. I'm not lying.
6:37
It's in Wikipedia, who comes up with this.
6:42
I want to meet gibberish crumb. Anyway, the origin story of how
6:49
salacious came into Jabba. The Hutt's presence may not be
6:53
known to many people but he has a backstory.
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Believe it or not. Yeah, I never knew anything
6:59
about this, this creature. I'm very excited here, all know
7:03
him as like, the little creature, that just Snickers and
7:06
laughs at everyone who come in to Jabba's Palace in Return of
7:09
the Jedi. Yeah.
7:11
And like, the legend lives on just from that, I mean, you
7:15
know, but he has a backstory and the backstory is he found his
7:20
way to the Quinn space station, and while he was there, he
7:23
annoyed everybody. He's highly intelligent.
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They usually travel in packs. These monkey lizard.
7:29
Usually travel in packs because they're like two feet tall.
7:31
And so Safety in numbers when you're that small so they don't
7:33
get eaten and stuff. Yeah, makes sense.
7:36
He kind of went on his own ended up on a space station.
7:39
He annoyed everyone. So much on the space station
7:44
that they tried to exterminate him.
7:46
He fled onto a ship that was there and the ship belonged to
7:50
Jabba the Hutt. So that's how he wound up in job
7:54
has presence. So the thing about monkey
7:58
lizards is monkey lizards, you the laughs that we all know that
8:03
salacious has like his his absolutely iconic laughs.
8:07
Yes. It's a way that their breed
8:13
scares off Predators because it's kind of demonic in a way
8:17
that makes sense. Like it's so like, in their
8:19
eyes, focus on him and they, you know, they do that laughs and it
8:23
likes scares off people, right? Yeah.
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It's shrill. It's annoying.
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It's too much coming from something.
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So small and turns out Jabba the Hutt found it actually amusing.
8:40
And enjoyed his laugh and said, all right, you can stay.
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But here's the deal. You got to make me laugh once a
8:47
day if you don't want to get eaten.
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So he just had to make job a laugh every day once at least
8:54
once, yes. Okay.
8:58
Or he's get eaten or are you getting?
9:00
Because, you know, Java 8 that shit Heroes frogs out of the VA
9:04
thing and he ate the little you know something, I don't know him
9:06
he just shove it down his gullet.
9:11
A goal. It that's so funny.
9:14
Okay so but we never get like subtitles for salacious crumb so
9:21
we don't ever know what he's actually saying do not.
9:24
Are there any insight on what he said to make jello laughs?
9:29
I haven't been able to find any. What is said online about him,
9:34
is that he sneered and laughed, and made fun of the other people
9:39
in jobs. Or, you know, the other people,
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he kept around the prisoners, he would imitate people that came
9:45
into the palace and, you know, Jabba totally love that, you
9:49
know, because job is terrible. That's tough, but I love that he
9:54
like basically, he's so he's a court, jester of sword.
9:57
He is the Court Jester. Yes.
9:59
And It kind of makes sense. Because he's okay, you takes job
10:05
has like the massive version of salacious be crumb.
10:08
Yeah. Job is always laughing.
10:11
Hmm. You know, it does that, that
10:14
lazy fat laughs that he has, you know, and he doesn't, he's ugly.
10:21
Yeah. I mean, Jabba's Palace, this
10:23
kind of the place for What is the thing, the Harry and
10:29
unwanted ribs of of the Galaxy? Yeah, exactly.
10:36
I even read that salacious almost got eaten by Java once,
10:39
but he got away because he's really quick witted and real
10:42
fast on his feet and that amused job at even more.
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He was like. Whoa, who whoa, he beat me.
10:48
I like this guy. You know?
10:50
So it's an unlikely pairing, huh?
10:54
And then there is a quote on what PDF from salacious himself.
10:59
Oh really yes salacious crumb describing his employment.
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He says quote all day everyday Huts a crumb salacious crumb he
11:10
say salacious crumb. Make me laugh now or I eat you
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and quote So there you have it. Oh my God.
11:29
That's hilarious. Poor little salacious know.
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So he sits around and his job is to make fun of people and job at
11:38
a shitty life. Actually, I know he stays
11:40
inside, but at least he's safe, everybody else wanted to get rid
11:43
of him. And he doesn't really have a
11:44
tribe of other lizard. Monkeys.
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Yeah. Like, where is he gonna go?
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But now he's stuck forever or the giant slug.
11:52
Yes, he dies on the barge, right?
11:55
When on job is sailing barge. Yeah.
11:58
Yep, that's when he all. Go Cubbies, his untimely and he
12:02
was released Alicia's. Kokabiel is released of his
12:07
gesture duties. What do you think?
12:11
He said when Luke walked into the palace?
12:15
I don't know, pussy. No, don't leave.
12:24
I like your dress. I felt mean even saying that I
12:36
love Luke. I know we love Luke in this
12:38
house. Yes.
12:40
Oh, I'm sure it was something about like how this child
12:45
thinks. He's a Jedi.
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You know he had just does that mocking laugh as soon as he
12:50
walks in yeah. Like you think you're gonna get
12:53
away with anything in here because he stands Luke comes in
12:56
and stands right on top of that. Great.
12:58
That opens up down into the yeah, Rancor pit.
13:01
He knows like, oh yeah, you can big head, you're still gonna
13:06
you're gonna fall right to your death, it's good, don't move,
13:10
I'm sure that was a real fun moment for salacious when he got
13:13
to watch from the safety of job as folds.
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He got to watch whatever went on in the the rancor pit where.
13:22
Yeah, everyone died. Medically front, row.
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Seat Mayhem. I can't do think he ever.
13:32
Made fun of Boba Fett. Hell's we all know.
13:34
Bob has wound real tight bun. Say anything.
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He would probably just kill him if he knew that he wasn't so
13:44
close to to Jabba right? Yeah.
13:47
Yeah. So yeah.
13:49
He probably just was like, what's with the mask?
13:54
Take the mask off every now and then.
13:56
Why don't you? Why so serious?
14:01
I don't know. Yeah, that's funny.
14:04
Well, I guess he's not gonna be there anymore and book a Boba
14:07
Fett. No bib Fortuna is still there.
14:11
The guy with yes. Oh yes.
14:13
Oh yes. But Yeah, that guy still there
14:19
and he looked really gross and the preview, although terrible
14:23
guano Wanga, I will talk with her job at now.
14:30
Whole Palace is a cesspool. Yeah, I bet it smells exactly.
14:38
I love it. That's that's what we both are
14:40
like, got it but it's mellow. It smells like musty old
14:44
Barnyard. Hey, Wet.
14:47
Hey, yeah, nasty floors from booze and like, just go
14:53
unidentified gooey stuff. Because gonna say, what did you
14:57
say before unidentified liquid nasty in the shit, dripping on a
15:03
grow shop as Mount. Anyway, we're going to gross
15:05
everyone, listening. Oh, but we're Leia.
15:09
Gotcha to be like, yes, she had to be all that.
15:14
No wonder kill him again for all of us Hut Slayer.
15:18
Yeah, what a title. That's right badass.
15:20
Anyway, Did you know another fun monkey, lizard fact that they
15:26
are capable of holding and using weapons like blasters.
15:30
I did because there's a scene shot in the Clone Wars where a
15:34
monkey lizard. I can't remember what else.
15:36
It's there's a knife fight, they're having a knife fight
15:40
knife fight and this the end, Dave filoni said, the only
15:44
reason they got away with it is because they were like, none
15:47
shit, sentient animals, doing it.
15:50
If it had been Kind of like sentient human or humanoid?
15:54
They would never have gotten away with.
15:55
Yeah, I can't remember that but I now, I want to see it.
16:02
It's in. Oh my God, I can't remember if I
16:05
think it's in the zygerrian arc. But maybe it so it really, I
16:11
would know this. Yeah, I just re-watched that Arc
16:15
the other night and great and terrible.
16:17
It was fucking delightful. I never get tired of seeing it,
16:22
but it is really depressing. I can't find this episode, but
16:25
I'm pretty sure. Well, I mean Hondo's monkey.
16:28
Lizard has fired a blaster. He even like murmur, he drove
16:32
the tank. Oh, that was owed where they're
16:35
protecting the bounty hunters. They can drive to Yeah, they're
16:40
like protecting the farmers with the bounty hunters and the the
16:43
monkey lizard is like firing a cannon.
16:45
Right? At least guess if they're
16:47
Anakin's head guess if they're weird little they have like
16:50
three toes and they're very long.
16:52
I guess they could reach the pedals of something you know.
16:55
Yeah. I guess it makes sense.
16:57
It's somewhere between a lizard and a bird.
17:01
So didn't you have a monkey lizard sit on your shoulder
17:03
once? Yes, at San Diego Comic-Con,
17:07
2019 waiting in that horrible. Marvel line for the hall.
17:15
H for Marvel phase 4. It was worth every moment every
17:20
second but everyone there made it worthwhile.
17:23
And someone had a salacious be crumb that would be poseable and
17:29
he put them on his shoulder and Kept him there.
17:32
And every time I would look over salacious was posed in a
17:37
different manner, his arms were up.
17:38
His arms were down. Head was turned his head, he was
17:41
wearing a hat, he wasn't wearing a hat at one point, it was
17:44
wearing the wristbands for Hall h that we got like from previous
17:49
day's and so his arm was up with like the wristbands on and I
17:53
finally I said I can I put him on my shoulder and so I got to
17:59
have salacious be Chrome sit on my shoulder for like 10 minutes
18:03
and like it was cute. It was so cute, but it was
18:07
weirdly squishy. But it feels kind of like it's
18:10
movable little bits of feels kind of like real flash.
18:13
It's weird. But he had like poseable arms
18:15
and legs and stuff. And did the guy make him
18:17
himself? Or did he buy it?
18:19
No, I'm pretty sure he bought it because I've seen others.
18:21
See, I don't I didn't, if I asked him where he got it or why
18:25
he had it, I don't remember why. But every time I looked over
18:29
that thing was posed in a Way. And I was like this guy's Grace
18:32
is humor because we've been standing out here for 24, plus h
18:37
God. Yeah, I don't know how you guys
18:40
did that. That's this brutal.
18:43
It's pretty. Got front row for the Marvel
18:46
phase 4 panel, and I was literally, I don't know.
18:51
Some odd number of yards away from Sebastian, Stan, in the
18:55
flesh. It was worth it.
18:58
I ruined my right hip and my right leg from standing so much,
19:03
but it was worth it. Oh my God.
19:05
Yeah, I know without you, I would never be front row to
19:08
anything you you guys get up so early and you power it and yeah,
19:13
it's a lot of work. A lot of preparation, a lot of
19:15
coordination, a lot of befriending strangers which they
19:19
were all amazing. Yes.
19:22
Anytime. I've like Santana line at a con
19:25
and chatted with people. They're just so nice.
19:27
Your well, you know, you automatically know you've got
19:29
something in common so, it's, yeah, it's really great.
19:33
Like, the guy that was in our group, we had about 35 people in
19:36
our group no joke because we all had to take turns waiting in
19:39
line and holding spots for two to three hours at a time.
19:41
So then other people could go and enjoy the con.
19:44
It was just fun to see salacious crumb sitting on the shoulder
19:48
posed in a different manner, every time I looked over, so, I
19:51
do have a picture of myself with the infamous salacious be
19:55
Chrome, which we could probably post on our nice.
19:58
Social media is after there, and I think salacious is cute in
20:08
that weird. Like, you know, the hairless
20:11
dogs. You know, the hero dog, they're
20:17
cute. And kind of have a little bit of
20:19
pity for him and you hope they're all right in there with
20:21
Cared for. That's how I kind of feel about
20:23
salacious crumb. Well now I know what to get you
20:25
for Christmas hairless, dog or salacious be crumb.
20:31
How about both? I'll pass.
20:33
I already have a cat. He's enough of a handful.
20:37
Well Matt, Matt Lanter voices, the other kohake and monkey
20:41
lizards, the or I guess all of them and Clone Wars.
20:45
I guess that's him doing it. Which is hopeful, there is
20:49
hilarious. It makes me love.
20:51
Of him so much because he can be like, Anakin the hero.
20:55
You know. Dear boys.
20:56
That be really like voice. Yes.
20:58
Yeah. And then like turns around and
20:59
does these like me, me here sound effects and I just love
21:03
Matt Lanter for that. Well, I don't know that it was
21:07
just the jokes that kept salacious safe.
21:11
I think that was the main thing because Jabba liked
21:13
entertainment. I mean, he literally just sat
21:15
there and wanted to be entertained by dancers by you
21:18
know, people dying in the rank or pity, you know, and then a
21:22
joke a day at least old salacious but think about all
21:28
the things that salacious knows, right?
21:31
Oh yes, seen all the trade deals.
21:34
All the bad trade deals. The people who All from Jabba,
21:38
the promises that were made Han Solo, you know.
21:42
Yeah, you know probably another reason why Java kept him close
21:47
to so that he didn't run out to another space station and rad on
21:51
all the all the teeth from Jabba's Palace.
21:55
You know is every day working around or with Jabba would have
22:01
been could have been your last you just you basically are
22:05
living on his. Swim whatever he decides he
22:10
wants or doesn't want any more. Could just change his mind right
22:14
now and you're dead. He's extremely impulsive.
22:18
Yeah and it seems like it was based on boredom.
22:23
Yeah, Power and board. Oh, yeah, yeah.
22:27
What a life. What a life.
22:31
But for salacious at least he wasn't being hunted.
22:36
Yeah, seem to be good at his job.
22:38
I mean, once he was in past the palace, he never left.
22:40
So, and he must, you didn't care that everybody hated him except
22:43
Java. Yeah, exactly.
22:46
Which was probably what everyone in that Palace.
22:49
Thought I don't care if anyone else in here likes me.
22:52
I just need the fat man to like me so I don't die like yeah you
22:56
know. Yeah comes in and fucks
22:58
everything up. Our hero, our hero, and Leia.
23:06
We must not forget later. Yes.
23:08
What do you suppose salacious joked about Leia?
23:12
Better not of joked about anything or a beat his ass.
23:15
Hey yes. Yes, yes.
23:21
Yeah, I don't know maybe that she was like just way too
23:23
uptight. Yeah, laugh a little.
23:28
Yeah, it doesn't laugh. What's wrong with her?
23:30
You know, he probably said, you know.
23:32
Yeah. Like why so serious again, but
23:35
also I'm kind of like Leia in that sense.
23:37
I'm considered like super uptight by some people so oh
23:41
yeah, not me. You don't think I'm uptight.
23:45
Well, God bless you, I am Pair to a lot of people I think Jabba
23:52
think you're uptight. Oh that's okay Jerry, hmm,
23:56
that's okay. Oh yeah, I was going to say I
24:03
was going to say that a bet he saw Vader because in the comics
24:07
Vader, goes to Jabba's Palace. He goes there when he's trying
24:12
to figure out who Luke is. So he went back to Tatooine.
24:18
He did. Yeah, not for very long.
24:22
I'm disappointed Vader. I think I knew this but deep
24:28
down, I just had this like, yeah, I have to look, I'm out.
24:32
You know, that just seems so much better.
24:34
I mean, he hated being there, but he even I remember, there's
24:38
a scene in the comic and I can't remember, Which one it is right
24:41
now. But he goes on Jabba's sailing
24:43
barge. Like he goes to the palace and
24:45
then Jabba says that he wants to see something died after making
24:48
a good business Arrangement. So they go out and watch, like,
24:52
banthas diets really sad. So sad, it's pants.
24:57
Isn't isn't it? They're just so disposable in
25:00
the in the world. Yeah, save the bantha.
25:05
Damn, make it t-shirt, Save The Phantom.
25:11
Save the baathist Fanta. Strong.
25:13
Damn it. Oh my God, I love your SLI.
25:16
I'm on their side. Poor banthas.
25:18
I wonder if salacious be crumb said anything about Vader, did
25:22
he know better? I was going to say, well, would
25:25
Vader have even known what he was saying?
25:28
Like what would he have mocked Vader with?
25:32
Take a look at this guy or a nice scuba tank.
25:42
Where's the water? I don't know.
25:46
Have you ever seen when Conan O'Brien's Triumph, the insult
25:51
dog went to like Star Wars thing.
25:56
And he went up to a guy dressed as Darth Vader and said, which
25:59
one of these buttons on your chest cause your mom to come.
26:02
Pick you up. Yes.
26:04
Yes, you just nailed it. You just nailed it.
26:10
Triumph. The insult dog.
26:13
Yeah. Is the modern-day salacious
26:16
crumb? Did you lose your virginity in
26:22
that black suit or know? I like which one of these
26:28
buttons. Call me to pick you up.
26:33
I love triumphs. I love triumphs.
26:36
There's like 2,000 1998. The old school is will open it,
26:42
as shit is legendary go on YouTube and look it up.
26:46
If you haven't seen it, it's Triumph the insult.
26:50
It's probably like really offensive now because everybody
26:53
is offended by everything so it's probably like really
26:57
inappropriate, but it was funny, but it's, yes, yes.
27:00
In the humor of Conan O'Brien, at the time, which is, yeah,
27:05
it's installed humor, which is insult humor kept.
27:10
Atius alive at Jabba's Hut. Exactly that.
27:14
And that crazy ass laugh. Turning it over to you guys.
27:28
The obvious question for our listeners.
27:31
This week is what do you think? Were the jokes that salacious be
27:38
crumb told in Jabba's Palace to Java once a day?
27:43
Do you think it was just leering and snickering and and simple
27:49
insult humor, or do you think he had pointed insults thrown at
27:52
very specific individuals? We must know.
27:57
And we are not a rated G podcast so you can tell us what you're
28:00
really technically. Yes, that's Cast, let us know.
28:08
Next week, I'm very excited, I'm very excited, I'm very excited,
28:12
it's gonna be good. We are going to break down and
28:16
discuss in detail, the rako hardeen arc from the Clone Wars,
28:21
and there's a lot to it. We're talking Obi-Wan, we're
28:24
talking Ahsoka and Anakin we're talking Palpatine.
28:28
Now, we're talking Obi-Wan because yes, and mostly obit
28:31
would because, and it's it's a lot there.
28:36
It's a four-part Arc and there's So many layers to every single
28:40
episode. So it's going to be pretty fun
28:42
to dive into that. And it's, it's pivotal shit that
28:47
goes down in this Arc is absolutely pivotal to what ends
28:49
up happening in Revenge of the Sith and then, yes, on work.
28:52
Yes, it impacts all characters. It changes all of their paths I
28:57
think. Yeah.
28:58
It's gonna be fun to delve into this one.
29:02
Last week we asked our listeners, what was your
29:04
favorite sandwich we're role? Other than any of his Star Wars
29:08
roles, mainly Darth Maul and one of our absolute favorite
29:14
listeners supporters and friend to the most things Kenobi
29:18
podcast. Rural farm boy, says my favorite
29:22
character, Sam's portrayed a side of Star Wars is Lieutenant
29:26
Alex crashed down Quattro and Battlestar Galactica and
29:30
following up to that. Christy McCarter PhD who says
29:33
for real just started Battlestar Galactica and was delighted to
29:36
see him show up had no idea. So see Sam Witwer Has Talent
29:41
extends Beyond Star Wars. And many people appreciate him
29:45
and his various other roles and we're so glad to have others
29:50
chime in and tell us what they love about, Sam.
29:53
Thank you so much for joining us here on the most things cannot
29:56
be podcast. Remember to follow us on Tumblr,
29:58
Twitter, and Instagram. And don't forget to subscribe on
30:02
your favorite podcast player. Plus, you can always find us
30:05
over at most things Kenobi.com So until next time, Myspace twin
30:11
May the force be with you always.