Latest / Alignment With Jenn / 5 SECRETS MASTER MANIFESTORS DO DIFFERENTLY TO LET GO & RECEIVE
Transcript
- 0:00Hello and welcome to this episode of the Alignment with
- 0:03Jen podcast. I am your host, Jen Daisy, and
- 0:06today we're going to be talking all about detachment.
- 0:09This is something that I get so many questions about of how do I
- 0:13detach from the things that I want so I am not gripping them
- 0:17so strongly, so they don't have this pull over me?
- 0:20How do I let it go? And the thing about detachment
- 0:23is the more that you can let go of something and still desire it
- 0:27at the same time, the more powerful of a manifesto, faster
- 0:30you actually become, the more magnetic you become, the
- 0:33stronger your magnet becomes. So today what I want to do is I
- 0:37want to talk about detachment, what it means, how to detach and
- 0:41give you some tools and some resources to help you really
- 0:45become someone who is able to desire what she wants and still
- 0:49feel that sense of detachment of I don't need this to be OK.
- 0:53If you've ever been someone who says, OK, I'm cool, I'm
- 0:56detached, I can let it go, yet you're still always checking
- 0:59your phone, you're checking your bank account.
- 1:01You're always looking for signs and evidence that that thing
- 1:04that you want is coming to you. That is not detached.
- 1:08That is an undercurrent of I need this to happen in order for
- 1:12me to be OK. When we're constantly checking,
- 1:14when we're constantly looking for that external validation to
- 1:17tell us that something is going to manifest.
- 1:20Ideally, we can get to a place where we say, I deeply desire
- 1:24this. I want this in my life and I
- 1:26know I am totally, completely whole and complete without it.
- 1:31I am OK with or without this thing.
- 1:33Think of how attractive that mindset is when you are dating
- 1:38and you can fully show up, you can flirt, you can have a good
- 1:40time and you can say, you know what?
- 1:43I'm OK if this person doesn't like me back.
- 1:46I'm OK if I don't get this job opportunity.
- 1:48I'm OK if this client doesn't sign up with me because I know
- 1:51I'm good. My source of love, money,
- 1:54abundance, wealth, prosperity, fulfillment, joy, happiness does
- 1:58not come from this person. It comes from the universe.
- 2:02It may come through this person, but it doesn't come from this
- 2:06person. So I don't need this person,
- 2:08this opportunity, this one thing in order to for me to be OK.
- 2:13That's what true detachment is. It's wanting it because we're
- 2:17not trying to not want something right.
- 2:19Detachment is not stoicism. It's not not desiring things.
- 2:23It's not living your life without enthusiasm and passion.
- 2:27It's wanting things deeply, me, and also knowing you'll be OK
- 2:31without them. And that's really the place that
- 2:33I want you to get to with this episode.
- 2:35Because when you can get to that place, you become so much more
- 2:39powerful. You become such a powerful
- 2:42magnet. Detachment is this healthy
- 2:45balance between desire and letting it go, allowing it to be
- 2:50OK without it, for you to be OK without it.
- 2:53When you think about something that you want, if you're in this
- 2:56energy of it must happen, Oh my gosh, he must text me back.
- 3:00Let me check my phone 57 times in the next hour to see if he's
- 3:04texted me back because I'm not OK.
- 3:07I'm not OK if he doesn't text me back.
- 3:08It's going to mean something about me and my worth and my
- 3:11value if this random man I met on Hinge doesn't text me back.
- 3:15That is not detachment. That's being very attached and
- 3:20that is a repelling energy. It's unconsciously and
- 3:23energetically communicating. I'm not OK if this person, this
- 3:27opportunity doesn't come to me. And when we're in that place, we
- 3:31are in a place of need. We are in a vibration of lack,
- 3:34and a vibration of lack attracts more lack.
- 3:37So if you want to be in a vibration of magnetism and
- 3:41attraction and a calling in the things that you want, you have
- 3:44to desire it. Meaning you still want it, you
- 3:47still show up for it, you're still excited about it, yet, you
- 3:50know, on a deeper level, I'm OK without it.
- 3:53So you can show up to that job interview in your full
- 3:56confidence, in your full peace, and show up as your full self.
- 4:01Maybe crack some jokes, actually be your authentic self versus
- 4:05being that corporate version of you.
- 4:08Allow it to be OK whether you get the job or not.
- 4:11That's what that delicate balance of desire and detachment
- 4:14can create. And if the word detachment
- 4:17doesn't resonate with you, I don't personally love that word.
- 4:19I like the idea of letting it go, right?
- 4:22I put my desire into the universe and then I let it go,
- 4:25trusting that what is of my highest goodwill come back to
- 4:28me. That's true faith, that's true
- 4:32wholeness is knowing your whole without anything outside of you
- 4:36that you're whole and complete on a soul level and you know
- 4:39that your needs will be provided for.
- 4:41And honestly, that's the spiritual journey.
- 4:43That's the spiritual path of getting to a place where that
- 4:46feels actually true for you. Someone that is able to live
- 4:50from this place of non attachment is someone who is not
- 4:54constantly checking their reality for proof that something
- 4:58is going to show up, right? They're not always checking
- 5:00their phone. They're not always checking
- 5:01their bank account. They are able to be fully
- 5:04present. They are able to not look for
- 5:07validation. Oh my gosh, that person made a
- 5:09funny face at me. Does that mean that person
- 5:11doesn't like me? Right.
- 5:13Those are all these forms of attachment that we can
- 5:16experience. But when we're able to let that
- 5:18go and we're able to say I'm OK whether that person likes me,
- 5:22I'm OK whether I get that opportunity, then we become so
- 5:26much more magnetic because we're operating from a place of
- 5:29wholeness, right? There's attachment because I
- 5:32don't feel enough, and then there's wholeness.
- 5:35I feel whole. So I'm able to let things come
- 5:37into my life and let things go from my life because I trust the
- 5:41flow of life. I trust that I will be OK
- 5:44regardless of what is actually happening around me.
- 5:48Something to really, really think about is what you are
- 5:50making meaning out of what you're making lack of evidence.
- 5:54So let's say that you're manifesting a new job and you're
- 5:57applying and applying and applying and you're not getting
- 5:59that new job. What are you making that lack of
- 6:01evidence mean? Are you making it mean I'm not
- 6:04good enough? I don't deserve this?
- 6:05It's never going to happen, the job market sucks.
- 6:08Or are you making it mean something different?
- 6:11Are you recognizing you will be OK?
- 6:13It's fine. Maybe it's been a few months
- 6:15since you've you've been applying.
- 6:16Maybe it's been a year since you've been applying.
- 6:19Being able to hold that belief of everything is happening in my
- 6:23favor, I am going to be OK. Everything is working out for
- 6:26me. That is a place of non
- 6:28attachment. And when you are in that place,
- 6:31you vibrate differently. You show up differently to those
- 6:34job interviews, right? Have you ever, This is why
- 6:37people don't like used car sales people because they, there's
- 6:41this, you know, stereotype that they're very needy, right?
- 6:45They're very pushy. They try to make things happen.
- 6:47They try to push you to do things.
- 6:49They come at you trying to get something from you, right?
- 6:52I don't think that's true, but I think that's the stereotype.
- 6:56And when we subtly are communicating that energy, when
- 6:59we meet someone and we're subtly trying to please them and get
- 7:02them to like us, when we're subtly trying to, you know, turn
- 7:06the tables in our favor and we're trying to get something,
- 7:09people unconsciously feel that. And it creates A repulsion, A
- 7:13repelling energy. And so how can you get yourself
- 7:16to a place where you feel whole and you feel complete, even if
- 7:21things don't work out how you envision them working out,
- 7:24That's the spiritual journey, is trusting so deeply that life,
- 7:28that the universe is working in your favor, that no matter what
- 7:32happens, you know you'll be OK. I had this experience recently
- 7:35over the last basically two weeks where I found out that my
- 7:40house had mold and I had to move out of my house, get rid of all
- 7:44of my stuff in the span of basically two weeks because the
- 7:47house was toxic. It was making me sick.
- 7:50And so I could look at that situation and be like, Oh my
- 7:53gosh, my life sucks. This is horrible.
- 7:55Or I can look at it how I looked at it and I my thought was this
- 7:59is really good. I know something amazing is
- 8:03going to happen for me from this.
- 8:05I feel like I just quantum leaped, even though on the
- 8:07outside it doesn't look like it, right?
- 8:09I'm having to rebuy all my stuff.
- 8:10I had to scramble to find a new place to live.
- 8:13Crazy. But I am like, let's go, right?
- 8:17Was it always easy, right? I had moments where it was very,
- 8:19very difficult. Ultimately, I kept bringing
- 8:22myself back to this place of this is very good because I'm
- 8:25not attached to my things. I'm not attached to my house.
- 8:28What I deeply believe in is that everything is working out in my
- 8:32favor. And so I know that there is a
- 8:34massive silver lining on this whole situation and that it will
- 8:38all be OK. That's living this principle of
- 8:42non attachment, right? You can live with from a place
- 8:45of non attachment when you so deeply believe that the universe
- 8:49has your back and that everything is working out for
- 8:51you. That's how you truly get to a
- 8:53place of non attachment. So where in your life are you
- 8:56gripping? Where are you saying I won't be
- 8:58OK if this doesn't happen? Right?
- 9:00We do this very often with money when we have unexpected expenses
- 9:05or we don't make as much money as we want.
- 9:07And I see this at every income level.
- 9:09I have clients who have multi multi $1,000,000 a year
- 9:12businesses and I have clients who are just starting being a
- 9:15business or they just started a new job and their income isn't
- 9:17as high. The same attachment exists.
- 9:21Doesn't matter how much money, the money doesn't matter.
- 9:24The attachment comes from your belief about the money, from
- 9:27your perception of Oh my gosh, I won't be OK if I don't have this
- 9:32right? What is the story that you're
- 9:34telling yourself and how can you let it go?
- 9:36How can you infuse it with more faith?
- 9:38One of the biggest things about living from a place of non
- 9:41attachment is regulating yourself before you respond to a
- 9:45situation. So one of the biggest pieces I
- 9:48see around people that feel very, very attached to something
- 9:51and have a hard time letting it go is they're in this state of
- 9:54dysregulation. They're in the state of fear and
- 9:57lack and anxiety. And when you can get your
- 10:00nervous system into a place of peace, into a place of
- 10:04wholeness, then you are much more able to actually not attach
- 10:08to things, right? When you're on vacation, you
- 10:11have a lot less worries, right? You're a lot more chill, you're
- 10:13a lot more relaxed because you're not as attached, right?
- 10:17You're more going with the flow. When you want to create the
- 10:20sense of non attachment, how can you regulate yourself?
- 10:24How can you get yourself into this peaceful place in order to
- 10:29feel OK, right? It's very difficult for us to
- 10:33not feel attached. Our survival self, that
- 10:35unregulated self is very attached.
- 10:38That worried, anxious self is very attached to the outcome
- 10:42because it thinks it won't survive on some level if it
- 10:44doesn't have it. So getting yourself into a calm,
- 10:47regulated place, and I believe that this is a holistic
- 10:51approach, right? It's through the subconscious
- 10:52rewiring work that I talk about the nervous system regulation
- 10:56work. It's through your beliefs and
- 10:58how you're showing up. And this is the kind of thing
- 11:00that I help women within my community.
- 11:03And if this is something that you're interested in and you're
- 11:05like, yes, I want help getting into this place of peace, you
- 11:09can send me the word podcast on Instagram and I'll send you a 5
- 11:13minute video about my community and my program where I help you
- 11:16with this. So getting yourself into that
- 11:19regulated place and you can do this just in the moment.
- 11:22Let's say that you're about to go on to a job interview and
- 11:25you're feeling extremely needy. Like, I need this thing to
- 11:28happen. Can you regulate yourself before
- 11:30you go into that? Can you get yourself into that
- 11:33calm place? And sometimes it can feel very
- 11:36difficult, right? If there's a lot of financial
- 11:38pressure or a lot of pressure that we're feeling put on
- 11:41ourselves, it can feel more difficult to get into a
- 11:44regulated place. But that is where you build that
- 11:46muscle, right? I've had periods in my life when
- 11:49I first started, I guess this was in my supplement business.
- 11:53I felt like I was spending so, so, so, so, so much money.
- 11:56And I had just joined this very expensive mastermind and I
- 11:59wasn't making that much money. And so I felt like I was
- 12:02spending all this money and I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm going
- 12:04to run out of money if I keep going at this burn rate.
- 12:07That is the time in my life where I learned how to regulate
- 12:10myself around money. And now I feel like it's no big
- 12:13deal. I feel very calm around money,
- 12:15so much more calm than I ever felt because I use that as an
- 12:19opportunity. So if you're in that place where
- 12:21you're feeling stressed or pressure in some way, how can
- 12:25you use that as an opportunity to teach yourself these skills?
- 12:29That's the perfect time to teach yourself these skills.
- 12:32And maybe it's in the moment. It's as simple as going on a
- 12:35walk or listening to some music or doing some tapping.
- 12:39That is more of a momentary response, right?
- 12:41That regulation. But the deeper work is to
- 12:44actually change that programming so that way you don't have those
- 12:48extremely attached responses to things, right?
- 12:51So your default isn't worry and anxiety and fear.
- 12:54Your default is. I know this is all good.
- 12:56This is all working out for me. You get through it like a ship
- 13:00on calm water instead of a ship in a storm, right?
- 13:03That's a it's the same person, the same boat going through the
- 13:06experience. But are you allowing it to be a
- 13:08calm water or are you making it a storm?
- 13:13Another big, big part of being able to detach from the things
- 13:17that you want is building a life that you actually love.
- 13:21So often times what I see is that people will place so much
- 13:25importance on one thing and in their mind, they'll set up
- 13:29unknowingly or knowingly. That thing is going to fix my
- 13:32life. Getting into to a amazing
- 13:34romantic relationship is going to fix my life.
- 13:37Making a certain amount of money is going to fix my life and that
- 13:40is not the truth. Getting a certain job is going
- 13:43to fix my life when I have that soul aligned business.
- 13:46The truth is that you have to fall in love with your life
- 13:49first. You have to fall in love with
- 13:52the creation, with the process of becoming because there's
- 13:55always going to be something that you can put ahead of you
- 13:58and say when I get that thing, I'm going to be OK.
- 14:01When I get that thing, I'm going to be OK.
- 14:03But that's not the truth. The truth is that who you are is
- 14:08going to show up no matter the external circumstance.
- 14:10It's just going to show up in a different way.
- 14:12And so how can you become more of that person?
- 14:16Part of it is by falling in love with your life.
- 14:18And there's an earlier episode I recorded, I think it's called
- 14:21Falling Madly in Love with Your Life.
- 14:23And it's information and tools on how to really fall in love
- 14:25with your life. But the more that you're in love
- 14:28with your life, the more that you are able to attract in
- 14:31things that resonate on that frequency, right?
- 14:34You become a match for that. If we are constantly saying
- 14:37there's something that I need in order for me to be happy, that's
- 14:40not how it works. We've got to be happy and OK
- 14:43first, and then that thing will come to us and will be able to
- 14:47hold that thing. Think about it in terms of a
- 14:49relationship, right? If you have a life and you're
- 14:52like, eh, this life is OK, It's fine.
- 14:55But like once I get into a relationship, it's going to be
- 14:57amazing. So you get into that
- 14:59relationship and then that relationship becomes your whole
- 15:01world, right? This is when women start
- 15:03abandoning themselves. They start morphing themselves
- 15:05into the perfect person for their partner because that
- 15:08relationship becomes a pedestal. It becomes so important because
- 15:12the rest of their life isn't great.
- 15:14And then this is also why people say you meet that person when
- 15:17you least expect it, right? That's because you're busy
- 15:20living your life. So get busy living your life.
- 15:23And I promise you won't be waiting for that text.
- 15:25You won't be waiting for that response from that job.
- 15:28You won't be checking your bank account.
- 15:30Allow yourself to truly enjoy your life right now and you will
- 15:34see how radically your life begins to change.
- 15:37This is another big one around this non attachment and it's
- 15:39that staying devoted to the desire but being OK with the
- 15:45delivery changing. I really want to create wealth
- 15:50or I really want to create love, but am I flexible about how that
- 15:54shows up? So I'll use love as an example
- 15:57again. I had a friend and she was
- 15:59manifesting a relationship and she had this very, very specific
- 16:02list of what it would look like, right?
- 16:05The whole tick tock thing of like 65 finance blue eyes, that
- 16:09kind of thing. I'm sorry, but none of those
- 16:12things create a healthy relationship.
- 16:13None of them. That could be a serial killer
- 16:16with that description. Nobody wants to be in a
- 16:17relationship with a serial killer.
- 16:19So being flexible about what that delivery looks like, right?
- 16:23What that package of your relationship looks like, what
- 16:27that package of your job looks like.
- 16:29I have a client who I spoke with yesterday and she's like, I
- 16:32cannot work in a nine to five. A9 to 5 means 50 to 60 hours a
- 16:36week. It means that I'm going to burn
- 16:37myself out. It means all these things.
- 16:40That's one specific package of what a nine to five looks like.
- 16:43But does everyone sign to five look like that?
- 16:46No, not at all. So how can you reframe what that
- 16:50package looks like right for you?
- 16:52And you do this in a couple ways of how can you be open to it
- 16:57showing up instead of saying all nine to five suck.
- 17:00How can you be open to maybe a nine to five is actually a good
- 17:03path, but I want it to look a little different than it did in
- 17:06the past. Allowing yourself to be flexible
- 17:09and how that shows up. And that can also be, you know,
- 17:12I've heard people say like, I can't do online dating.
- 17:14It's awful. It's terrible.
- 17:16I don't want to do it. But yet then they never meet
- 17:19anyone. So maybe being open to pathways
- 17:22that you maybe haven't been open to before.
- 17:25Maybe it's being flexible about what that result looks like.
- 17:29So because remember the how is not our job.
- 17:32Our job is to get into that vibrational alignment.
- 17:35And part of how we do that is through this non attachment is
- 17:39through connecting to a love for our life and a sense of
- 17:42wholeness and then allowing that to flow through.
- 17:45I want to give you a little exercise that you can do with
- 17:48yourself. So if you're feeling this deep
- 17:50sense of attachment in a specific area of your life, ask
- 17:54yourself these questions, right? And how can you let it go even
- 17:58more? Because when we really want
- 18:00something, it's very hard for us to detach, right?
- 18:03Because there's this unconscious sense, like if I detach, does
- 18:06that mean I'm not going to get it?
- 18:08Doesn't mean that at all. You can still want it and deeply
- 18:11desire it. And at the same time, you can
- 18:14know you'll be OK with it not coming right now, with it coming
- 18:18in a different form, right? The universe, I've given this
- 18:22example before, right? Imagine a pinhole, right?
- 18:26You look through on the door, you look through that little
- 18:29pinhole and you can see a little bit through.
- 18:31You can see the person, you can see a little bit of their
- 18:33features, but you can't see much.
- 18:35Then you open up those double doors and you see that it's this
- 18:38beautiful expanse that's available to you.
- 18:42That's how the universe operates.
- 18:43We can only see that little pinhole, but the universe can
- 18:46see this beautiful expanse. So being open to that beautiful
- 18:51expanse, to things coming in unexpected ways, I wanted you to
- 18:55answer these questions for yourself.
- 18:57What am I gripping? What am I afraid will happen if
- 19:01I release control? A big part of non attachment is
- 19:04being OK, not always being in control and that's extremely
- 19:08scary for a lot of people. What would trusting look like
- 19:11today? And another one I will leave you
- 19:16with is reminding yourself everything is always working out
- 19:20for me. Everything is always working out
- 19:22for me. I say this to myself 20 times a
- 19:24day. So how can you truly believe
- 19:26that everything is always working out for you?
- 19:29So I hope that you loved this episode and you got a lot of
- 19:32value from it. Please leave me a comment, I'd
- 19:34love to hear from you. Follow the show if you have not
- 19:38followed it. That way you'll be notified
- 19:39anytime we have new episodes. And if you'd like further
- 19:43support, you can reach out to me on Instagram.
- 19:45My account is at alignment with Jen, or you can find my e-mail
- 19:49in the caption and we can chat a little bit about coaching and
- 19:52what that might look like. All right, I'll see you in the
- 19:54next episode.