Latest / Natty Unfiltered / Chances We Don’t Take In Life
Transcript
- 0:00Foreign.
- 0:06Hi, I'm Natalia and welcome back to Nadian Filter
- 0:10Podcast, the space where we get really about identity,
- 0:14confidence and rediscovering yourself beyond motherhood.
- 0:19Today's episode is something every single
- 0:24one of us has wrestled with, the chances we
- 0:28don't take in life. Here's the
- 0:32truth. Nobody is going to do it for you.
- 0:36Nobody is going to knock on your door and hand you the exact life you
- 0:40dream about. You can be mad at the world,
- 0:43mad at the situation, mad at where you are in
- 0:48life. But at some point you have to ask
- 0:51yourself, is staying in this mindset
- 0:55actually helping me?
- 0:59That's what we're digging into today.
- 1:03So let's be real. It's easy to get stuck
- 1:07in the blame game. I didn't have the support,
- 1:11I didn't have the money. Life wasn't fair.
- 1:15It was too hard. And you know what?
- 1:19Those things might all be true.
- 1:23But here's the kicker. They don't change
- 1:27anything. You can stay
- 1:31mad,
- 1:35but that doesn't move you forward.
- 1:38Staying in this victim mode might feel comfortable because
- 1:43it takes the pressure off you. You don't have to try,
- 1:47you don't have to risk failing.
- 1:51And then you have months go by,
- 1:54years go by, and you still stuck in the same situation.
- 2:00What if you ask yourself what is the cost
- 2:04of staying there? The cost is time.
- 2:07The cost is your future. The cost is
- 2:11your dreams quietly sleeping away.
- 2:18Now let this sink in and just
- 2:23think about it. Think about how many times you've
- 2:28blamed others and what's
- 2:33the time that passed by that you look at back and you
- 2:38can honestly say that if your mindset
- 2:43was different,
- 2:46you would have. You would be in a different place today.
- 2:52This is where shifting your mindset is so
- 2:56important. You probably hear
- 3:00a lot of people talk about the mindset and the mindset is
- 3:04something that I know I had to work on and
- 3:09I started to work on years ago.
- 3:13I know I've always been positive person and
- 3:18was trying to always have a different outlook on life and different situations.
- 3:22But at some point I wanted to be better. I wanted my
- 3:27mindset to be stronger because I wanted to deal with different
- 3:31situations in a different manner. I no longer
- 3:36wanted to feel weak,
- 3:41if that makes sense. And that's when I
- 3:44started to work on my mindset to be stronger,
- 3:50to approach different situations,
- 3:54good or bad, with more
- 3:58positive outlook because
- 4:03I wanted to have a positive outcome.
- 4:09So the shift is deciding. I'm no longer waiting for
- 4:14someone else to save me. I'm no longer playing small.
- 4:18You can't Wait around that somebody's gonna come around and,
- 4:21and will save you. It's going to make things better,
- 4:24is going to make things happen for you.
- 4:28Yes, it does help when you
- 4:33have good people around you,
- 4:36positive people around you, people that can uplift you,
- 4:39people that can give you a nudge. But you cannot sit around and
- 4:44wait for somebody to do
- 4:48the work for you. And listen, I'm not
- 4:53going to sugarcoat it. This stuff
- 4:57is hard. It's hard to retrain your
- 5:01brain to say, yes, I can be successful, yes I
- 5:05can be better, yes I deserve more.
- 5:10Saying and doing, it's two different things. I always say, yes,
- 5:14I know it's easy for me to say,
- 5:18well, you need to snip out of it. You need to just go out and
- 5:23you know, kill it. You kill it. Like in terms of,
- 5:26you know, get that job or get that project or
- 5:30change that mindset. Of course it's easier said than done.
- 5:34But if you not going to start changing
- 5:39a mindset, then nothing's going
- 5:42to change for you. Because what's
- 5:47the alternative? Staying stuck, staying in
- 5:51the resentment, staying in the same place 5,
- 5:5510, 20 years from now.
- 5:59That's why even though it's uncomfortable, even though it takes
- 6:04work, the shift is worth it.
- 6:08It's so worth it. So here's the question I
- 6:12want you to carry. If nothing changes,
- 6:17how will I feel five years from now?
- 6:21That's the fuel. That's where you find the courage to take the
- 6:25chance. Even if you say, okay, not in five years, but even one
- 6:29year, your life can be so much better if
- 6:35you start the changes today
- 6:39and start with the baby steps.
- 6:45When I look back, one of my own regrets was
- 6:50not applying to law school. That was my dream. I always
- 6:54saw myself becoming an attorney. I've always watched shows,
- 6:59shows, shows, kind of like Law and Order,
- 7:03like, you know, Chicago pd.
- 7:09But I, when I finished
- 7:15my bachelor's degree, I knew that
- 7:19I needed to get a job and start paying off my
- 7:23loans. I mean, I did the
- 7:26right thing. I finished college, got my degree
- 7:32and then I knew, hey, the reality of is
- 7:36the loans will be waiting for me and there's going to be more bills
- 7:40with the law school. And at that time I really didn't
- 7:44have anybody to just say, you know what, if this is your dream, just go
- 7:49for it. So you're not going to have any regrets later on.
- 7:54So at that time I just chose a practical path.
- 7:57I got a full time job, which took me a while because
- 8:02at that time we had,
- 8:07at that time it was really hard to find a job.
- 8:11But at some point I did find it. And you know,
- 8:15I was continuing to paying off my school loans.
- 8:21And in some ways it was the responsible
- 8:25thing to do. But you know what? To this day I wonder,
- 8:28what if Maybe it wasn't my path.
- 8:33Maybe things do happen for a reason.
- 8:37But what that regret taught me is this.
- 8:41You will always remember the chances you didn't take.
- 8:45And you don't forget them easily.
- 8:49That's why I push myself now to ask what dream
- 8:53can I say yes to today? What risk can I take even
- 8:58if it's small? Because I don't want to carry anymore
- 9:02what ifs into my future.
- 9:07That's why over the years I try to double into
- 9:11different businesses. And yes, I had fear of failure
- 9:15prevent me from moving 100% into those
- 9:20dreams. But every one of those dreams
- 9:23brought me closer to what I'm
- 9:27doing now,
- 9:31grew my mindset, it made me stronger, it made
- 9:34me realize what I actually want out of
- 9:38life. And I was taking those steps. I continued to invest into
- 9:43myself in learning new skills, in meeting
- 9:47new people, in surrounding myself with like
- 9:51minded individuals. Because once you
- 9:55start changing your mindset, you are going to start seeing that
- 9:59people that no longer belong in your life
- 10:03start to go by the wayside and you start
- 10:07gaining the people that actually align with
- 10:12your values, with your goals and
- 10:16they're there rooting you on. Even if there are those few
- 10:20people. Because the way I look at it is you rather
- 10:25have couple of those people in your corner all the time than having
- 10:31a bunch of people that, that just don't really care
- 10:35about you and your values and
- 10:43uplifting you and
- 10:47rooting you on whenever you come up with your
- 10:52new business adventure, whatever you want to do in life.
- 10:57So the lessons from the regret is that it's
- 11:02not just pain, it's information.
- 11:05Regrets show us what matters mattered
- 11:09most to us. If you regret not speaking up,
- 11:13maybe your voice was always meant to be used.
- 11:18If you regret not starting the business, maybe that desire
- 11:23to create was part of who you are.
- 11:27Instead of just beating yourself up over regret,
- 11:30ask what is it teaching me?
- 11:35And sometimes the dream doesn't have to die. It can shift.
- 11:40Maybe you didn't chase it then, but you can chase
- 11:43a different version of it now. I know that
- 11:47as moms, sometimes if we have the dreams,
- 11:51we put them on hold because we
- 11:56looking to care for our
- 12:00babies, for our significant other, for the home
- 12:04that we live in. If you have a job that you go
- 12:08to, you need to be paying the bills every Day
- 12:12is kind of that cycle of sort
- 12:16of same and not the same thing.
- 12:20And you know that sometimes the dreams, we put
- 12:24them on hold because we just don't have the time for them.
- 12:28And sometimes when the kids are very little, we don't have the time for
- 12:32it because depending how kids are. And then we wait for them to go to
- 12:37daycare and then to school, and then maybe we'll have
- 12:41a little bit more time. And then we have, after one baby, we have two
- 12:44babies, maybe we have three babies and so on.
- 12:48But at some point, when that desire to be more
- 12:52than a mom and you have that dream and you want to start that business
- 12:56or you want to start that podcast or you want to do something
- 13:01on social media, when you want it bad
- 13:05enough, you are going to go after that dream.
- 13:10And yes, maybe that dream has to be put on hold for
- 13:14the time being, but it doesn't mean that I have to be on hold
- 13:18forever because you want to take that.
- 13:23Take that chance, and you want to take that chance on you.
- 13:27So let's get practical. What are some chances you can take
- 13:31today? Say yes to the things that scares
- 13:35you. Apply for the opportunity, even if.
- 13:39Even if you don't feel ready. Invest in yourself.
- 13:43Whether it's a course, a coach, or simply giving yourself
- 13:47time to grow. Speak up instead
- 13:51of staying silent. These don't have to be giant
- 13:56leaps. Sometimes the chance is a small step,
- 14:00but small steps compound into big changes.
- 14:06So take the time today and just kind of think about it,
- 14:09like, what steps can I take that
- 14:14can lead me to my final destination?
- 14:21Here's what I want to leave with today.
- 14:26Regret doesn't come from failing. It comes
- 14:30from not trying. You might not be
- 14:34able to change the chances you didn't take in the past, but you
- 14:38absolutely can take the next one. And that choice to
- 14:43step into the courage instead of staying in comfort is what builds
- 14:48confidence, identity, and the life you really want.
- 14:52So my challenge to you, take one chance
- 14:56this week, just one,
- 14:59and let your future self be proud that you
- 15:04tried. Thank you for being here with me
- 15:08today on Nanny Unfiltered Podcast. Remember,
- 15:11you're stronger than you think and your story isn't
- 15:15over yet. If this episode gave you that little spark,
- 15:20share it with another mom who needs to hear this reminder.
- 15:24And don't forget to save it for those days when you need to
- 15:28push yourself. Until next time.
- 15:32Keep rediscovering who you are, because you are
- 15:36worth it. Until next time.