Latest / Empower Your Menopause / Episode 20: Mastering Mindset for Midlife: Reframing Menopause as a Time of Growth

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Episode 20: Mastering Mindset for Midlife: Reframing Menopause as a Time of Growth · Empower Your Menopause

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to Empower Your Menopause, the podcast where we dig into everything that supports your health as a woman over 40, including wellness and transformation during the menopause transition years from peri through to postmenopause.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm James Ellison I'm joined by my brilliant partner in coaching Julie Medesi.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to focus on something that's essential, you're often overlooked in the menopause transition years, and that's your mindset as you navigate midlife changes.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, menopause doesn't all have to be about what you're losing or leaving behind, it can also be a powerful time of growth and self-discovery.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: So we're going to walk you through some practical ways to embrace midlife as an opportunity to shift your perspective and to grow rather than just feel as though you're surviving and hanging on there by your fingernails.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let's dive in and explore how we can make menopause a period of thriving and not just coping.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I suppose the first question, Julie, is ever is you know, why does this chisel matter?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Why is menopause and mindset so closely linked together?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And why does having the appropriate mindset actually help with some of the symptoms?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think um one of the big reasons behind all of this is because menopause has had such a cloud around it, a cloud over it, and it's been something that just hasn't been talked about.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: So we look at it as if it's a a health condition or there's something wrong with us as we go through this phase of life.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: We we have some shame and embarrassment around talking about it, and that frames the way we see it and experience it.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: So our perspective, and I know mindset is one of those words that's bandied about in so many different ways.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: So you can look at this as your perspective or you know, your attitude.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but but as that connects with who you how you see yourself and who you see yourself as being, it can really change the whole experience based on how you how you see that, what your mindset is like.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you expect it, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: If you expect it to be something really difficult and horrible, then that's probably what it will end up being for you because those are the things that you will see.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: We have this um limited vision field of vision, and the things that we focus on are the things we experience the most.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: So the way we frame things, the way we see it through our mindset will will change the whole experience.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely agree.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, one of the things that I'm always I always bring to mind whenever I talk about mindset is sort of like not just on an individual level, but the one way society as a whole has viewed the menopause transition over the years.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my mum's 90 now, but I remember back when she was in her 40s and 50s, she would often talk about menopause transition in really hushed tones with her friends, as though there was some kind of big secret or there was some some illness going on, you know, or she's going through the change, people used to say that it was like some big sort of like physical and mental change.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think the other thing, as well, that's really worth important to highlight here is that not exclusively, and maybe not so much anymore, but this is traditionally been an area whereby women in Western society have probably had it worse because there is this cultural emphasis on youth where people, as we get older in society, whether you're a man or a woman, you know, traditionally they've been sort of like parked to one side a little bit, and you go and you look at research into tribes in South America, you know, remote tribes where a woman going to the menopause transition is now seen as an elder, is seen as somebody who's got a lot of experience and value to pass on to the younger people members of the tribe.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And in those tribes, there is this reported symptoms are much, much less than what you would see in the Western world.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I I I often think you know it's not just about the individual and about an individual mindset, but also about around a collective mindset that is really, really important here.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Equally in Japan, um you know, up until a few years ago, there was no word for hot flushes because people didn't have them, and the word for menopause kanenki means a period of growth and a period of transformation rather than a period of of of withering or or fading away.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really important to to note that.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And and I I think that also frames the importance of of surrounding ourselves with supportive people and the right kind of the right kind of people who will help us through that journey instead of having that, oh, ain't it awful club, right?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: We can all complain and commiserate, but that doesn't really help us move forward or become better.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it doesn't help us find solutions.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: So the way we, not only the way we see it, but the people we surround ourselves with can have a big impact on that.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And as we had talked about, and we'll talk about more, you know, stress and and uh hormone health and immune function, all those things are affected by the way we think.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Thoughts do release neurochemicals in our body, and they that can affect our health very directly.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so reframing is really important, is it?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk about some ways that that can happen further down the line.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: But you recently worked with a client, didn't you?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And and you did a lot of work on mindset, and that really produced some great results for her.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you tell us a little bit about that?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, I'd love to.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is uh a woman who has a high-level director job in a very busy company.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she goes between working at home and working in the office and traveling, and she's got some younger kids and was finding it really, really difficult, feeling let's just say less than as these symptoms started to creep in.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And in her case, she was also dealing with the the death of a of her father, she was very close to, and found herself in that place where so many women are, which is just no energy at the end of the day, flopping down on the sofa, enjoying some wine and junk food to just soothe herself and feeling like this is as good as it's gonna get, it's just going downhill from here because you know, watching uh parents' age and that sort of thing.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we started working together.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: The first thing she said to me was, by the way, I don't like lifting weights, so don't even think that we're gonna do that.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Okay, no problem.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then as we kept working together, and we just took small, simple steps and started looking at different ways that she could interpret the things that were going on in her life and doing some journaling and talking through some of these things.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she started to sort of come out of that that that cycle that she was in, and got cured, then she got curious about the workouts because her sleep started improving as we improved her nutrition.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, as we've said many times, these are very small steps that happened over the course of um almost a year of working together.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: And after about six months, she started doing the workouts that I had um put together that were some body, we started with body weight, strength workouts, and then we went into dumbbells and resistance bands.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: And uh she ended up building her own home gym.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: And now that's like her favorite thing to do.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: She absolutely loves it.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: And the kids know that when she gets home and she wants that mom time, she said, I need some mom time, and she'll go up and either do a workout or just take some quiet time to journal or even just sit and do nothing and do some breath work.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: She feels so much more in control and so much more optimistic about the future.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: And she's more present for her kids and and with her husband.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: She said it's it's completely changed her family relationships.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: So that's like I'm getting goosebumps.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's just like the best, the best outcome you could you could hope for for somebody.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And and again, she she did the work.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't do that for her, I helped guide her in that, but she did the work.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think it's such a beautiful thing to see the benefits of actually committing to doing that and putting that that effort in.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: What a great, great story.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so shall we talk a little bit about some of the common mindset traps that can occur?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: We had a chat before, we've identified three of three main ones, maybe, or three ones that we think people could really focus on.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the first one is this idea, I suppose comes back a little bit to what I was talking about before, this idea of when you reach a certain age, you're past your prime, you kind of put on the um scrap scrap heap.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we we tend to to believe that as long as we're growing and learning in an earlier age when we're younger, that that's that's positive.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: But we sometimes fail to see that we can still grow and learn when we get older as well.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing to stop you growing just because you've you've hit a certain age.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: And and our growth, maybe it will look a little bit different now.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: May now's a time when you know we can say all of the things we set aside, we can start to make time for.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I just a perspective for me is why is it that we revere old paintings and old buildings and we talk about their beauty and their character, especially the here in Italy, when they get a little bit crumbly and they may have some cracks and they're not as perfect as and pristine as they used to be, but we think, wow, it's such there's such charm and character there.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, our why aren't we the same way with with human beings, right?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, when we're not past our prime.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I know I know a lot of people don't like this term midlife.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: That that kind of sticks for some people, but the truth is, midlife, this means we've got halfway to go yet.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: This is exciting.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: That means there's this whole future.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now we have all this experience and all this wisdom and hopefully more confidence.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And now, looking forward, just think of what we can do with all of that great stuff that we didn't have for the first part.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, we have a joke with my kids to say, Dad, you're gonna live to be 110, 120.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I figure I'm bang smack in the middle of midlife now.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: But when I look back on my previous 56 years, that's a long time to live.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: So anybody who's got another 30, 40, 50 years, there's a lot of growing still to be done in there, isn't there?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: There a lot of space to grow still.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and especially these days, with all of the other resources and and things that we have available to us that weren't available to our parents, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, to the point, I suppose, where at times the amount of things that are available can actually add to the overwhelm now because there's so much to go at that some people can find it overwhelming without finding a place where to start.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, if anybody who's listening and thinking about things, a good place to start, why don't you just choose a something that you wanted to do?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you wanted to have a go at, but you postpone for whatever reason.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a class, it could be a hobby, it could be a fitness goal, and just make a plan to start it.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Take those first steps to doing something that you always wanted to do that you that you never did.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: You never know, you might like it and and and give it a fair chance, by the way.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've convinced myself that if I would have played tennis when I would have been younger, I would have been an amazing tennis player.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've got no justification for that at all, but that's just how I feel.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure there are people out there amongst our listeners who've had dreams and things they've always wanted to do.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is a great time to do it right now, at a time where you can expand things.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so number two then, trap two.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go on to Invisible Woman Syndrome.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this comes back to some of the things we were talking about before, the idea that Western society often sidelines older women.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you often read interviews with these amazing actresses in Hollywood, and they'll say there are no roles written for women above 40 or 50 that they can really get their teeth into.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you think that these are women who've been revered actresses for years, how does the rest of the population feel about that and their place in society as well?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's that that can be a real challenge for women, can't it, to actually feel as though they're not being seen, they're not being heard at this point in time.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: And and um, as we said before, this is a time of experience and wisdom and and skill, and there's no reason why a lot of it we we allow to happen to ourselves because we accept it as the norm.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: But it's time for us to stand up and say, no, I I have all of this stuff to offer.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready to really go forward now because I can.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And women, women at this age, we have many more opportunities than than in the past, whether that's career-wise or hobbies or family, community, there are lots of places that that we can um apply ourselves.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: So we don't have to fit into this this mold or this outdated norm that's been defined for us, right?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so what can what can people do there as an actionable thing then?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of things can they do to help with that?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think this idea of invisibility?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um few things that that come to mind are um experiment with your personal style.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that's that's important for me.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: I had a friend tell me, oh, well, you know, once you're over 50, you need to cut your hair short and uh start dressing a certain way.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, where is that written in the rule book?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't get a copy.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, heck no, I'm keeping my long hair.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'll make it purple when I want to.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I like my big earrings and my big bracelets.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: I wear clothes that are probably more appropriate for a younger person, but I don't care.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I wear what I'm comfortable in.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't wear what I think society thinks I should.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm a grandmother for crying out loud, but I'm not, you're not gonna see me and hunched over with a black shawl anytime soon.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: So personal style, finding things that really interest you, that light you up because those are things that will help you gain more confidence and help you shine to be your authentic self.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we can we can also use affirmations or affirming statements that that help us.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: One of my favorite things is doing a high five in the mirror in the morning just to get that day started on a on a positive note.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then trap number three, we talked about uh this idea of a comparison mindset, didn't we?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that many people compare themselves to other women, whether it be either in this age group who for some reason they perceive that they're doing better than they are and handling the transition better, or actually comparing themselves to women who are younger than they are and maybe focusing on things like looks and things like that, rather than actually what's going on internally.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: And our, you know, why not why not celebrate our wisdom?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Why not celebrate all of the skills that we've acquired over time?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: Why not celebrate who we've become?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because everything we've done before now has created the person we are, and that's pretty amazing.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I I look at um, I as a matter of fact, one of my clients was saying to me, but I want to be in the shape I was when I was in my 30s.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: I want to have that kind of freedom.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, okay, that's great.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me what you enjoyed about that.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about that for a little while, and then I said, So what is it in your life that's different now?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: What do you have now that you didn't have then?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: She said, Well, I'm married and I have kids.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: I said, So how can a married person with children go back to their single career person from 20 some years ago?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's it's just not possible.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: And and I understand that it it can be difficult to let go of that person and how we see ourselves, but it so it's okay to sort of feel that that loss of your younger self, but the more we focus on and try to grab onto it, the harder it's going to be to move forward.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I my favorite analogy is the the windscreen is way bigger than the rear view mirror in the car for a reason.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's much better, there's much more to see looking forward.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: We can't change anything about the past, right?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's interesting as well, isn't it?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of this comes down as well because of some of the facts we've talked about, to some negative talk going on in an individual's head.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, negative thoughts, putting themselves in a position where they're comparing themselves to others or feeling down.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you and I, I hope you don't mind me sharing this with our listeners, but we're both doing a mindset course or part of a mindset membership at the moment, or the 180 club.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the first things that we've been asked to do is read a book which is called Happy for No Reason, which is looking at the reasons people might be happy, and you know, without taking extremes like clinical depression and that into um in into uh context.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: But they try and put the idea of happiness across a spectrum of things.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got basically unhappy, then you've got unhappy for bad reasons, so maybe oh sorry, happy for bad reasons, so maybe you're happy, but you're happy because you're masking it with something, either you're using substances, drinking, drugs, or whatever it may be.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Then you've got happiness for good reasons.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're happy because you're in a good relationship, you're earning a decent wage, uh, your home life is settled, and then you've got happy for no reason, where people are sometimes just happy for no reason at all, just happy all the time.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the author postulates that there's this idea of a happiness set point that we all have.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: It used to be that they thought that the happiness set point was set based on hereditary um issues, so just genetics we inherited it from our parents.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: As they've done more and more research, they've worked out that your happiness set point actually splits into three components, and you can actually shift that along.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: So 50% is genetic, comes from your mum and dad.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you either come from people who've got a happy disposition or or don't.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: You've got about 10% is based on your personal circumstances.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: So do you have money?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are you comfortable?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a house?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a partner?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have kids, etc.?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: But then 40% of it comes from how you talk to yourself and the and the actions that you actually take when it helps other people, uh other people.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: So having a positive mindset and being able to achieve this shift is important for everybody, yeah, whether they're in the menopause transition or not, but particularly with all the other things we've talked about, layering on top of that as well, a real real challenge.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, shall we talk about some ways that we can achieve a growth-oriented mindset then to work on that 40% and actually hone it as much as possible?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start off by talking about um self-reflection, then, Julie.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know you've got a good self-reflection exercise that people can can use.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and one of the things that that I know I myself and many of my clients have found really helpful is to establish a gratitude practice.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And even if it's not something you want to do every day, although I highly recommend that, write down three things that you're grateful for.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, ideally something different each day.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: But but just if you just take some time and write down what you're grateful for about this particular stage of life, there are lots of things to think about.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: We've already talked about the skills that you've acquired, the wisdom you've acquired, the experience you've acquired, the things you have around you, the people in your life.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, maybe it's a career focus, but there could be a myriad of reasons why you are grateful.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: And gratitude is proven in many research studies to have a very positive impact on our physical and mental and emotional health.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a it's a really easy and simple place to start.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we we also like this idea, don't we?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Reflecting on what we've achieved to bolster our confidence for the years moving forward.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: We've got an exercise that we do with some clients called 100 wins, which is purely just write down a hundred things that you've done in your life that you think are absolutely amazing.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be you know conquering Everest, it can be something as simple as I felt really crappy the other day and I got out of bed, but I managed to get out of bed and get ahead and do things, to having your kids to complete a new university, to get in a new job, to winning an award.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you can put a whole spectrum of things down into your hundred wins, hundred things you've achieved in your life, and then reflect back and think look at all that I've achieved and look at how much more I could fit in at the same uh in the future moving forward to give yourself a confidence boost.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: I always think that's a really great exercise to run through with clients.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely, because the tendency is to think of all the things we haven't done or that we haven't done well and to beat ourselves up with those.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: So focusing, having that shift of perspective makes a huge difference.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about curiosity over criticism then.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked a lot about self-talk over the last few minutes.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: So take me through this idea then of trying to be more curious rather than critical of ourselves.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think one of the big pieces here is not looking at ourselves as victims.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't happening to us.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is a normal part of life.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: So how can we embrace it?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: How how can we learn from it?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's there's always a lesson to learn here.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: And one of my favorite examples is energy because this is something I deal with myself.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: We say, okay, if my energy isn't good, I just always feel tired and exhausted.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: What does that mean?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: And how can I explore that in in a way that allows me to care for my body in a better way that supports my health and supports my energy?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Be curious about some of these changes that are happening.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: And because they're not happening to you, they are they are happening, they may be happening for you because a lot of times if you have to step back and and regroup a little bit and look at things from a different perspective, you may you may open up a whole new world for yourself that you hadn't even thought possible.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Excellent.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then I suppose the other thing that really helps with growth at this time is making sure that you're still setting yourself some some goals, right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Things you know, you might set a weekly walking target target or adding a new workout at the gym from a health perspective.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: You might schedule time for to do something creative as part of your personal growth.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: You may, as you're saying before, set up a gratitude practice or a self-compassion practice where you're journaling and writing things that can help you develop.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: But having that idea of still having some goals really helps keep us moving and striving forward, doesn't it?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know we've discussed next month we're going to do a sneak peek.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Julie and I are going to do a goal setting workshop ahead of the new year.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully, some of you will join us on that.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: We'll let you have more details of that when it comes.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: But really important that to start with goals that are small, achievable, and so you can build your confidence and motivation and use them to help build momentum as well.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, Julie, we're kind of coming to the end of things for today.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything else you want to add in to wrap up here?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think we have to give ourselves some grace.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Every day isn't going to be positive and sunshine and rainbows.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: We know that.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: And that's okay.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: So being aware that some days are going to feel more challenging than others and giving ourselves those coping tools, whether it's journaling, um, some breath work, the gratitude practice, having those tools available for yourself will go a long way to supporting the whole transition, especially on those days that may feel a little more difficult, because we're at that phase of life where life happens sometimes, and sometimes it happens all at once.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: But being able to have that curiosity and that more open mindset and some of being able to remember those positive things will help you build the resilience, it will help you recover more quickly, it will help you navigate those things more easily.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, if anybody needs any help with any of the things that we've discussed today, we are obviously here for you.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Can email us, either james at fabulousbeyond40.com or Julie at fabulousbeyond40.com.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: But we do still have our special offer going on this month where we've challenged ourselves to give away 43 health coaching calls to women over 40.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: What do they look like then?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we promise on one of those calls to give you three things.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: One, a really clear idea of your goals, which is why it fits into today, and where you're going and where you want to be in the next six months to a year.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: We'll talk about the positive things and help you reinforce those so you can focus on the positive things that are going forward.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not throwing out that old expression of throwing out the baby with the bath water.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you're keeping and building the things that you're already doing well towards aiming for that goal.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then we'll talk about what's actually holding you back because if there wasn't something holding you back, then you wouldn't be on one of the calls with us.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so we'll talk about that, and that is where Julie and I will step in and give you some real actionable tips and first steps for moving forward.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: So this will act as like a roadmap for your menopause journey.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter whether you're in peri or whether you're in post-menopause, we can help you with that.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's definitely not a sales call.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you do want to hear about what it's like to work with us afterwards, we're happy to uh explain that as and when it's appropriate.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: But equally, you don't have to um listen to any sales pitch from us to take part in one of the calls.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: So do join up for those.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can join us at freecall.fabulousbeyond40.com.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: We'll put that link as well in the show notes so you can pick it up from from there.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: All you need to do is go onto the onto uh it's a joint diary.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's a thing that says any staff member.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you click on that, you can either choose myself or Julie.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you're not bothered about which one of us you speak to, you don't have a preference, just leave it on any staff member and just choose the most appropriate time for you.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's about it then, Julie.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Anything else that you want to add before we go?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing in particular.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'd just like to say thanks for tuning in and uh remember to stay strong and stay fabulous.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you next time.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.