Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Build an Advisory Board for Your Career
Transcript
- Lucas: You know that feeling when you're facing a big career decision and you wish you had a group of smart people who could just tell you the truth? Not a boss who has their own agenda, not a friend who'll just say what you want to hear — but a real, structured sounding board. Luna: Yeah, like a board of directors for your career. I've heard that metaphor before, but I don't think most people actually build one. Lucas: They don't. And it's a missed opportunity. Companies have advisory boards for a reason — they bring outside perspective, check blind spots, and hold leadership accountable. Why shouldn't individuals do the same? Luna: Right. So how do you actually build one? Who do you ask? And isn't it awkward to say, 'Hey, will you be on my personal board?' Lucas: It would be if you said it that way. But the framing matters. Let's start with the structure. I think you need three archetypes on your board: an insider, an outsider, and an investor. Luna: I like that. What's the insider? Lucas: The insider is someone who knows your industry or your function deeply. They can tell you whether the path you're considering is realistic. For example, if you're a marketing manager wanting to pivot into product management, your insider might be a senior product manager at a similar company. They know the day-to-day, the skills you'll actually need, and the unspoken rules. Luna: And the outsider? Lucas: The outsider is from a completely different world — a different industry, a different function, maybe even a different generation. Their value is they're not caught in your industry's groupthink. They'll ask the obvious question that everyone inside your bubble stopped asking years ago. A friend of mine who's a designer had an outsider who was a retired military officer. He'd say things like, 'Why are you spending three weeks on that? In the army, we'd solve that in one afternoon.' Completely different lens. Luna: That's powerful. And the investor? Lucas: The investor is someone who's willing to bet on you. Not necessarily with money, but with their time, their reputation, their network. This could be a former boss who always advocated for you, a professor who saw your potential, or a senior leader who's taken an interest in your growth. They're the one who will open doors and make introductions. Luna: So three people. That doesn't sound overwhelming. But how do you actually recruit them without making it weird? Lucas: You don't say 'board.' You say, 'I'm working through a major career decision and I really value your perspective. Would you be open to a 30-minute call once a quarter?' Most people will say yes because it's flattering and it's a low ask. Luna: And then you have to give them permission to be honest. I think that's the part people skip. Lucas: Exactly. You have to explicitly say, 'I don't need you to be nice. I need you to be useful. Please tell me if I'm being naive or if I'm missing something.' Otherwise you'll just get polite feedback. Luna: And you have to reciprocate. It can't be one-sided. Lucas: That's the key. This isn't mentorship where the senior person gives and you take. It's an advisory board. You should be bringing them value too. Maybe you share an article relevant to their work, or you introduce them to someone in your network, or you just ask thoughtful questions about their own challenges. The relationship has to be reciprocal. Luna: I've seen people make the mistake of only reaching out when they need something. And then the advisor feels used. Lucas: Right. The best time to start building your board is when you don't need it. When everything's fine. Because then you have the space to build real rapport. Then when a crisis hits — a layoff, a tough decision, an unexpected offer — you already have trusted people you can call. Luna: And you mentioned 'ask for advice, not a job' — that's another rule, right? Lucas: Absolutely. The moment you ask an advisor to get you a job, you change the dynamic. Suddenly they feel responsible for your outcome, and they might pull back. Instead, ask for advice. 'What skills would I need to land a product role?' 'Who else should I talk to?' That's lower pressure and actually more effective. Luna: Lower pressure for them, but it also forces you to do the work yourself, which is better in the long run. Lucas: Exactly. And you keep your board small. Three people. If you have more than five, you're running a committee, not a board. Luna: That reminds me — we keep this show ad-free for the same reason. We want it to feel like a conversation, not a committee. If you've found value in episodes like this one, you can support that choice at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just a way to keep it independent. Lucas: Yeah, it's a small gesture that makes a big difference for us. And it means we never have to tailor our advice to please a sponsor. Luna: Exactly. Alright, so back to the board — once you've recruited your three advisors, how do you keep the relationship healthy? Lucas: Structure helps. I recommend sending a one-page update before each call. Here's what's happened since we last spoke, here's the decision I'm wrestling with, here's where I need your input. That way they can show up prepared. And you keep the call to 30 minutes — respect their time. Luna: And after the call, send a quick thank-you with a summary of what you're going to do. That closes the loop and shows you took their advice seriously. Lucas: Exactly. And here's a subtle point: if you take their advice and it works, tell them. If you take their advice and it doesn't work, also tell them. They'll learn from that too, and it deepens the relationship. Luna: That's smart. It makes them feel invested in your journey. Lucas: And over time, your board evolves. The insider you needed at one stage might not be the insider you need later. It's okay to let people off the board gracefully. You just say, 'I'm so grateful for your help this past year. I think I'm ready to take it from here, but I'll definitely reach out if I need you again.' Luna: That's respectful. And it leaves the door open. Lucas: Right. So my challenge to listeners is this: before the end of this week, identify one person for each archetype — insider, outsider, investor. Just write down names. You don't have to ask them yet. But get clear on who could fill those roles. Luna: And then next week, reach out to one of them. Just one. See how it feels. Lucas: Exactly. Because the best time to start building your board was a year ago. The second best time is today.