Latest / She's Next Level / 47: The Mindset Shift For Making Self Acceptance Become Easier (Programmed V.S. Unprogrammed Self)

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47: The Mindset Shift For Making Self Acceptance Become Easier (Programmed V.S. Unprogrammed Self) · She's Next Level

• Darshna Patel: you are going to live life feeling like there's something missing. I know a lot of people who Probably feel this way. I felt this way a lot where I'm like, I'm doing all these things and I still feel empty. I still feel like it's not good enough, or it's not enough to stand out. It's not enough to be seen and recognized for what it is that I do and who I am. And this is why it's because you're missing this ingredient, Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. I'm your host, Starsh, and I help women live their most expansive life and look hotter, feel healthier, and be happier. So if that is something that you want to do, then stick around, subscribe because we release episodes every week. So in today's episode, which is all around the mindset shift that you need to start making self-acceptance become easier for you, is really inspired by something that I did recently and the era that I've been on. Around working on deeper levels and layers of true self-acceptance and working on different aspects of myself, the way that I've been living my life and the things that I'm starting to do. It's just been so different. Like a lot of my inner world has been shaken up. And I love it because I'm starting to like learn more about myself. And I think that's really the journey of life for a lot of people, right? The essence of Life is to learn about who you are and become more of your authentic self. And I think this is something that a lot of people struggle with and feel like it's hard to accept yourself the way that you are. And not a lot of people are talking about it, but I want to talk about it because I feel like it's so important. For us to understand like who we actually are versus who we think we are and really start to decode that and dismantle all the things that have been put on us from society, from influence, our parents, our teachers, contagions out there. And I've seen this pop up a lot in my life where it's definitely popped up in my business area of life because business is really important for me. It's a big part of my purpose. And so I've seen a lot of it pop up like the way that I'm doing things. I know a lot of women struggle with this of like, am I supposed to be on social media to market my business? Or am I supposed to be networking with people and going to networking events? Am I supposed to be doing this or that? A lot of this comes up because we think that there is only one way to do things, And that creates this limited thinking, this narrow mind thinking that doesn't allow you to access your genius. You know, socially it comes up where we want to say no, we want to put some boundaries in place with certain people, or we want to do things a certain way in our way and just express ourselves the way that we want to. We want to say the weird fucking thing that we want to say that we think is weird, but it's truly how we feel like unfiltered authentic expression I found this for myself where I would hold myself back from saying the crazy shit that I want to or whatever. And even in my family, especially in my family area of life, I would say that I found myself kind of feeling like I'm not able to be all of myself because my family was so different than me. And these were all lessons that I've had to learn in different areas of my life. For mi to realize That people want me to truly be myself. Like authenticity is magnetism, it is contagious, and it is what people actually desire and want. And so, the more that we are not really being our authentic selves, and we may think that we are, you guys will be surprised. And I sure was when I found this out that a lot of who we think we are is not even actually who we think you are, and even if it feels natural to you. Around, like, yeah, but I'm so used to doing this thing, or I love this thing. You may enjoy something, but may not have a true soul, heart desire and love for it at a high level. And that is why some people just don't achieve those levels of true fulfillment and happiness that they have the potentials for. And if you are someone that's listening to my podcast, like we want the best of the best. And I want that for you, I want that for me. And so We want to be living our life in a way that matches that and matches those kind of standards for ourselves. So a lot of people think that they know who the fuck they are. Even I did until I started doing the deeper inner work. And I still am day in and day out. And I realize that the more I learn more about myself, the more I'm like, shit, I really thought this was me. And it's like a constant wake-up call for me of like. Getting my human on board and being like, it's okay, like we're gonna try this new way of life, we're gonna do these new things that, you know, it feels scary. It feels scary to create new changes in your life that we are unsure of. It's scary, but it is so necessary because it's part of the journey. It's part of the journey of you releasing all those limiting beliefs that we have picked up, you know, from teachers, from family, from friends, from society. And start to become more of ourselves, start to believe more in ourselves, who the fuck we are, and live the life and create the life that we want to create that really gives us that true fulfillment that nothing else can apart from living your life authentically. And that is what I want to just inspire in you guys today from a simple mindset shift that I personally found in myself, but also just from like the people that I talk with and my clients and everybody else. Where if you just even do this one thing today that I'm gonna get into, you guys will start to see a big difference and start to understand yourselves on a deeper level. And you'll start to notice how much happier you feel because you're living your life more in an authentic way. And I have a tool that I'm gonna share with you guys later on at the end of the episode to really help you guys just like bring everything in from what I'm gonna talk about. so the biggest thing that makes it hard for people to truly accept themselves, meaning like actually finding acceptance within themselves and what they do and who they are, like all of those things is feeling like what they are doing, how they are. Is right or wrong. And I know I talked about this prior in my unconditional love episode. If you guys haven't listened to that episode, I highly recommend that you tune into that episode. I talk about unconditional love a lot because it is big, big, big, biggest motherfucking key to living your best life. And I feel like a lot of people have unconditional love so wrong, so often. There's so many aspects that create unconditional love. And so this is like a piece of an aspect that makes it a little bit easier for you to start tapping into that unconditional love, true self-acceptance place. But it's really the idea of, you know, feeling like what I'm doing is right or wrong and creating that label and creating that judgment for yourself because of what fucking society has told you. And like I said, this comes a lot from our programming where, you know, everybody is technically influencing each other. And this makes you start to question your own desires and what you're doing if it's right or wrong, because at the end of the day, we want to be accepted by everybody else. We want to be loved for who we are. But knowing in our world that life is a mirror, meaning We all have an electromagnetic field. And at the end of the day, whatever we believe about ourselves, whatever we think, the actions that we take is always going to be reflected back into our reality from other people, other situations, other things. it is also true that whatever you do, if you feel like it's right or wrong, then other people are going to reflect that back to you. And if you are not rooted in your own uniqueness, your own specialness around how what I do is right for me and start living your life more for you, then other people are not going to understand that. And that is why sometimes the moment you decide to take an action or do something that is true for you and you doubt it subconsciously. I've seen this a lot with women starting their own businesses and they don't know if it's gonna work out. They don't know if the way that they're going about it is gonna work for them. That is why they get a lot of these reflections from other people, you know, questioning them, doubting them. But if you are so rooted to your own shit around what you do, and you know from without a doubt that what you're doing is right for you, you develop this kind of confidence that Nobody questions, but also you don't fucking question. You start to develop more of your genius and start to create in ways that you never thought is possible. And you start to actually recognize your uniqueness, your genius, how special you are. And when you do that, you start to prioritize yourself more, which is something that we also talk a lot about in this podcast around self-prioritization and why it's so important. Because when you're giving yourself what you need, you're choosing yourself, you're prioritizing yourself, life starts prioritizing you, But you also start becoming your best version of you. You start to become more of who you truly are because you're choosing you over everything else outside of you. I had this play out for me and this realization really click in I'm in the phase right now where I'm rebuilding my stretch mark business that I had, which is my second business. And I am literally giving it a whole rebrand facelift. Like I'm going in and kind of changing the way that I've been operating the business. for like the past years, and it's a lot. Like it's a lot to really just, be used to something that was working for you and being like, no, we're gonna completely change it. Because at some point I had fallen out of love for it. So I'm working on falling back in love with it. And how you fall in love is when you're trying new things, when you're exploring, when you're allowing yourself to see. what's out there, the potential of what you're doing. So one of the things that I was working on where this clicked in for me was when I was working on my schedule. So every Friday I sit down, I work on the schedule for the next week. So I set myself up for success. And this time around, I was like, you know, like I've been doing that for a couple of weeks and I find myself changing the tasks that I have for the days. And it's like things would constantly move around. And I was like, what the fuck is the point of this? Right. So then I was like, okay, well, why don't I not create my schedule, create like a whole a task list for myself? And instead, why don't I just like give myself the flexibility to create The schedule every day as the day goes by. So this is something that I mean, I haven't heard anyone do this. And if you do, amazing, but you do it in your way. So it's still special and unique in your own way. But I haven't really seen anyone go about it in this way. Like most people always are telling you, like, make sure you're setting yourself up for success, like make sure you have a game plan, make sure that you have a schedule, And knowing me the way that I am in my makeup, I don't do good with restriction. I need that flexibility and freedom to create the way I want to create. And also being an emotional authority in human design, like emotional authorities for the most part do not do well with schedules. Like their emotions are really what guides them. As far as like where they're at, where their capacity's at for the day. Right. And on top of that, I'm a projector. So I was like, okay, we're not gonna do it this way. You know, I'm gonna do it this new way. I'm gonna try something new. And the moment I did it, I felt this relief in my body. And I just knew that like, you know, this is the right way. Like this is one step to trying something new, to exploring what feels right for me and learning more about myself. And this may not be the right way. Who knows? But I'm allowing myself to explore and be open to new ways of doing things that I feel pulled to and seeing that as feedback to help me learn more about myself. And that is what true acceptance is. And when you start living your life in that way, you actually start to learn more about yourself and create your life in a way where it feels good to you, not because of what everyone else is doing. And sometimes we don't realize that the things we do is so special and unique to us. Like I really felt like I was taking this for granted and taking myself for granted in a way where I wasn't realizing like the things that I do is actually special and unique to me. Like even if we see ourselves doing the same thing as someone else is doing, the way that we do things is so special and unique to us. And because it's so natural to us, we don't realize that it is a big deal. And we need to get our brains on board to seeing how we are special and unique and what we do is a big deal. And it is unique. It is genius because until you start to do that, you are going to live life feeling like there's something missing. I know a lot of people who Probably feel this way. I felt this way a lot where I'm like, I'm doing all these things and I still feel empty. I still feel like it's not good enough, or it's not enough to stand out. It's not enough to be seen and recognized for what it is that I do and who I am. And this is why it's because you're missing this ingredient, which is what I call an emotional ingredient, is An emotion and a belief that goes around your electromagnetic field that creates that reality back to you. So you're missing the key component ingredient that everybody at the core, at the heart of who the fuck they are, wants to feel special and unique. And that is what creates that true acceptance, is when you realize that everything that you're doing is a fucking big deal. And it is special and unique to you. So what you're doing, it's not a matter of right or wrong, is a matter of is this. Actually in alignment for me? Like, is this actually true for me, or is this something that was coming from a societal programming? When we get our brains on board with this, when we start to practice this around choosing ourselves, prioritizing ourselves, you know, doing things differently, like trying something new every single day. Just a tiny tweak, a tiny thing that you do that moves the step forward in you understanding yourself and getting to know who you are and not feeling like anxious about it or bad about it or doubting it. I think that's the big one that a lot of people doubt what the fuck they do, if it's gonna work or not. Like that's when you start to uncover your actual true genius, your life purpose. You start to feel more fulfilled in your life because you are living life for you. You're doing things because you want to do them in your way that you do them. It's not always about just doing the things. It's about how you're doing the things that make it aligned for you. So just to tie everything together for you, I want you guys to walk away with this mindset shift That you are meant to be different. Like you are meant to try things and do things in a way that is special and unique to you because of who you are. And that it is safe to try something new, to try something different. If you have been wanting to start a side hustler business and you've been doubting if it's gonna work, you've been putting it off. It's time to start it and actually get to know yourself. In fact, I have gotten to truly know myself through business. It's literally like everyone always says, and I see why they say it. It's like a personal development journey. But honestly, to me, it's like a getting to know yourself journey of who you actually are, because there will be a lot of trial and tribulations around you choosing yourself over and over and over again, not because of the results that you have, not because of what people are telling you to do to create success for yourself. It's because you are creating that kind of success for yourself where it's beyond the results, it's beyond the recognition, all of those things that people deem for success. Success, honestly, in my opinion, is truly the art of being yourself and living life for you and ask yourself how happy was I today? Like creating that perfect day for yourself where you're spending time in all the areas of your life creating that balanced lifestyle. That to me is success, that is living in true alignment, depending on obviously what your values are. So give yourself permission to try something new that feels right for you and don't second guess it, don't think it, just play with it. Like the biggest game changer for me in my life is just living a curious life. That should be like a whole fucking thing. Like live a curious life. Like it. Like you see, I just thought of that. Like live a curious life. Like that's special and unique to me. So start to think of what ways can I create my life that actually feels special and unique to me, that actually makes me feel like this is my life, that I'm doing things because of the way that I want to do them. And how can I start to be more different? I think being different is actually a great thing. And it makes you actually access more of your genius. So start to do the opposite of what people are doing, which is Something that I'm always constantly like, even if it's one little tweak that you can make in the way that people do things, like how can you be different? How can you do something That comes naturally to you because here's the thing: if you like it, everybody else will. Don't let money influence you. Don't let because someone's gonna like you or not influence you. Because at the end of the day, those things are a byproduct of you living your authentic life and you attracting things that are authentic to you. So start in one area of life. We have eight areas of life The eight areas are mental area of life. So that's like your thoughts, your knowledge, your self-image. You have the physical area of life, which is your like physical things that you do, health and fitness, things you eat, how you physically look, all of those things. You have spiritual area, which is obvious, like your spiritual connection with your intuition, God. You have your career area of life, you have your finance area of life, you have your family area of life, you have your social area of life, and you have your passion hobby, which is an area of life that is my favorite, but most people often ignore, which is the key to your passion, your magnetism, your what people say life force energy. It is Any passion and hobby that you have, something that you're learning that you enjoy that has nothing to do with money. So here is a tool that I've been using. And if you guys walk away with anything from this episode, I want you to start using this in your life. if you have developed your intuition where you're comfortable with it and you are connected to it. Then you can ask yourself this question. Is this something that my true core, authentic, unprogrammed, which is the key self would like or would do? I want you guys to ask yourself this question like on everything that you're doing, on everything that you're responding to, like literally everything, Because this is going to help you start to make decisions from understanding what is actually true for you. Is it the programmed self versus the unprogrammed self? Because this is the biggest key that most people often miss is they again think that certain things are true and authentic to them. And it's just because it's normal for them, because they've been programmed to feel like it's normal. But sometimes it is not actually authentic to you. It is literally just something that you've been programmed for. So this is going to be the biggest fucking game changing question that you can ever ask yourself genuinely every fucking day. And even if you haven't developed your intuition and you feel like you haven't really got to that place of like actually fully trusting yourself in that way, You can still ask yourself this question and see what comes up for you. You know, trust your body, trust the pools that you have, trust what feels right for you. Because when it feels right, it'll feel light. my god, that rhymed. When it feels right, it'll feel light. And when it's not right, it just doesn't feel light. It just doesn't stick. It just something feels off. So you gotta trust that. And that is what I really wanted to give you guys today because I was like, there's so much that we can go into this about unconditional love, self-acceptance. There's a lot of other aspects that go into it as well. But I was like, I want to keep this simple yet practical and applicable for you guys because I want you guys to take motherfucking action. I want you guys to start implementing this. And I'm always thinking like, you know, what's the most simple but needle-moving thing? That would create the biggest transformation. And I feel like this definitely is. I mean, it has for me and understanding myself better. And so let me know how you guys implement this and what you guys take away from this, And let's connect. I love to hear from you. hit me up on Instagram, everything's in the description box as well as how to work with me one-on-one. And also have a mini course coming up as well that I've been working on for you guys. And I'm super excited about it because I really wanted to give you guys like a foundation to really understand the work that I do. But also, if you like. Never heard from me ever again. If you've never purchased anything ever, like this thing will really make the biggest change and difference in your life. So I really wanted to give you guys that four foundations to creating a life that you love and that feels the most authentic to you. So that'll be coming up. I am making a few prerequisite episodes for that. So that'll be coming up sometime this month. So stay tuned for that. And I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye!