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Health, Happiness & Beyond: 10 Experts’ Best Game-Changers · Create The Best Me

• 0:00
  Hello everyone, and welcome to our very special 100th episode of Create the Best Me.
• 0:06
  Today, we're celebrating by looking back at some of our most powerful and insightful episodes.
• 0:13
  We have an amazing lineup of highlights from inspiring conversations that truly resonate with our incredible community.
• 0:21
  And to be really honest with you, choosing which episode to showcase wasn't easy because to be honest with you, I think every one of my 48 guests had inspiring messages.
• 0:35
  So before we begin, I want to say thank you to all my guests who helped get us this far.
• 0:42
  We wouldn't have made it without each and every one of you.
• 0:47
  And thank you for watching or listening to the show every week.
• 0:52
  Today, we'll start out with "Broadway, Big Screens And Books: Heather Hach Tale," featured Tony-nominated writer, Heather Hach, famed for "Legally Blonde the Musical," "Freaky Friday," and"What to Expect When You're Expecting." In this conversation, Heather explored why creating multifaceted female protagonists is more crucial than ever and how she channels the real-life complexities of being a woman into her story.
• 1:24
  Both "Legally Blonde, the Musical" and "Freaky Friday" feature strong, multifaceted female characters.
• 1:32
  How has your experience writing these women influenced the protagonist in your novel?
• 1:39
  I'm just interested in women's stories.
• 1:41
  And I'm really interested in kind of commenting on what we're going through right now, it's really complicated to be a woman.
• 1:49
  I think that's why Barbie resonated on a lot of different levels.
• 1:53
  But one of the reasons it resonated so incredibly with everybody or most people is because it really gave voice to how complicated it is to be a woman in this world today.
• 2:05
  And there's a lot of contradictory information about what we're valued for and what people want out of us.
• 2:11
  And always kind of walking that tightrope of satisfying everybody.
• 2:16
  I mean, I think that just always trying to take care of everybody and always trying to make everybody comfortable is such a female, perspective.
• 2:24
  And I'm really interested in women's stories that are empowering and maybe in a more, unconventional route.
• 2:33
  Like Elle Woods on paper would not be seen as the most traditional feminist heroine, someone following her ex-boyfriend to college.
• 2:44
  That's not the best choice, but her mistake ended up leading her to where she needed to go and to find her own strength.
• 2:51
  So I'm also for looking at the bestiness that it is to be a woman, and Kat is not a linear character.
• 2:59
  She is a mess.
• 3:00
  She had a troubled past.
• 3:02
  She definitely battles with mental illness, and she's struggling.
• 3:07
  Um, but I have great sympathy for her, and I really wanted to give, a humanity to a messy complicated character.
• 3:14
  And I'm interested in exploring what it means to be a woman today.
• 3:21
  Heather's perspective reminds us that we don't need to present women as flawless heroes.
• 3:28
  In fact, it's the so called messiness that resonates with many of us.
• 3:37
  Embracing Imperfection: Heather talked about Elle Woods and how following her ex-boyfriend to law school might not have been the best plan, yet it led her to find her own strength and purpose.
• 3:51
  Embracing Imperfection: This demonstrates that poor decisions or unexpected detours can lead to personal growth.
• 3:59
  Commentary on Modern Womanhood: From Legally Blonde to the complexities of Heather's first novel, "The Trouble With Drowning," Kat, a character who's battling mental health challenges.
• 4:12
  Commentary on Modern Womanhood: Heather is interested in highlighting the contradictions and pressures women face today, like always being expected to keep everyone else comfortable.
• 4:23
  Catalysts for real conversation: Heather's work invites us to reconsider how we judge women based on outward choices.
• 4:32
  Catalysts for real conversation: Sometimes, the "wrong move" can trigger life-changing self-discoveries.
• 4:39
  Catalysts for real conversation: If you feel like your life isn't perfectly linear, Heather's message is a powerful reminder that there's strength and wisdom in chaos.
• 4:52
  Catalysts for real conversation: In "From Darkness to Empowerment, Overcoming Abuse," Kathy Wisniewski bravely shares her journey of surviving multiple abusive relationships.
• 5:04
  Catalysts for real conversation: She opens up about the realization that she was the common denominator in these patterns and how facing that truth propelled her toward real change.
• 5:17
  Catalysts for real conversation: I'm no different than anyone else out there that's experienced any kind of abuse.
• 5:21
  Catalysts for real conversation: That, I'm not special.
• 5:23
  Catalysts for real conversation: And I think that, a lot of times the piece that maybe we miss is just like the piece of advice that my mentor gave me.
• 5:29
  Catalysts for real conversation: Like, you're the common denominator.
• 5:31
  Catalysts for real conversation: If you've had, more than one abusive relationship, figure out why.
• 5:35
  Catalysts for real conversation: And don't be offended by that question, but just do the inner work to figure out what is it about me that may be causing me to walk into these situations to not be able to see the signs or that kind of thing.
• 5:47
  Catalysts for real conversation: And go within and control the controllables.
• 5:49
  Catalysts for real conversation: You can't control everything obviously, but there are some things that you can control.
• 5:53
  Catalysts for real conversation: And there is, hope and there are people and places that can encourage you.
• 5:57
  Catalysts for real conversation: And yeah, I think that, if I did it with someone who I was deeply, deeply in love with, I think you can do it too.
• 6:04
  Catalysts for real conversation: Kathy's experience highlights a critical aspect of healing and the willingness to look inward.
• 6:11
  Catalysts for real conversation: Here's some key reflections from Kathy's message.
• 6:15
  Self-reflection is a non-negotiable: When Kathy realized she had to figure out why she gravitated toward these abusive relationships, it shifted her perspective.
• 6:27
  Self-reflection is a non-negotiable: This isn't about blaming herself; it's about reclaiming her power by understanding her triggers and patterns.
• 6:37
  Controlling the "Controllables": She talked about focusing on what you can change - your mindset, your boundaries, and your self-worth.
• 6:47
  Controlling the "Controllables": Trying to control or "fix" an abusive partner is not only ineffective, it's emotionally draining.
• 6:56
  Seek resources and community: Kathy reminds us that hope does exist, even when it's difficult to see it during this challenging time, whether it's therapy, a mentor, or a supportive friendship group.
• 7:11
  Seek resources and community: Kathy reminds us that no one should walk this path alone.
• 7:15
  Seek resources and community: There is hope and help out there if we're brave enough to seek it.
• 7:22
  Seek resources and community: If you or someone you know is facing a similar situation, Kathy's story can be a beacon showing that true empowerment often starts with looking within.
• 7:34
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: Cortney McDermott's Authentic Journey," who uncovered the power of reconnecting with our bodies to heal emotional strain.
• 7:48
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: Cortney shared practice like Qoya,"shaking," demonstrates how physical movement can release tension stored in our muscles and our organs.
• 7:59
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: As women, especially when we're running all these things and we're and we're mothering we can get very detached from our physicality.
• 8:09
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: Our, the awareness of our physiology, the awareness of our needs the intelligence that lives in this very complex organism that we call a body.
• 8:16
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And so one of the very first things that I actually stumbled across was a practice called Qoya.
• 8:23
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And when I did it that it was in particular one practice It was called shaking.
• 8:29
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And the woman Rochelle, who was the founder of this when she was teaching it she was suggesting that we shake one hand.
• 8:35
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And whoever's listening you might want to do it just you know you shake one hand vigorously for the time that it takes for me to tell the story and you'll see what I'm talking about.
• 8:43
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And so she suggested we shake this hand and we keep the other one stagnant.
• 8:47
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And while she told us this story of a gazelle being chased through the wetlands by a tiger, but the gazelle gets away.
• 8:55
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: However, the gazelle does not go to therapy for the next 10 years about this time that a tiger chased her through the wetlands.
• 9:02
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: What the gazelle does is she shakes, through every part of her body, releasing the tension, releasing the fear, and she goes back to being a gazelle.
• 9:10
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: When I heard that story, and when I started to shake through my body, at that time I actually couldn't shake certain parts of my body.
• 9:17
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: I couldn't shake my legs very quickly; it was like they were, there was a lot of stuck energy in there.
• 9:24
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: I couldn't shake through I just didn't have that freedom of, a physicality.
• 9:28
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And after I started doing this for a while, I started to notice that things were shifting.
• 9:33
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: Now then of course after that I started to study the science behind it not through that tradition but, through scientific journals and things.
• 9:40
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And understanding what was happening that these neuropeptides are actually stuck in the different organs of my body.
• 9:45
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: You know again lots of times we think something is up here it's in our mind when in reality, it's stuck stagnant energy in our bodies.
• 9:53
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And I think that was one of the huge keys for me.
• 9:55
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: In fact, I know that was one of the huge keys for me to releasing a lot of the tension that I had been holding.
• 10:03
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: Another huge key for me was relaxing.
• 10:07
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: And that's really hard to do when you're wound up because we don't even know we're so wound up.
• 10:11
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: you know, Cortney's story uncovers the importance of mind-body connection.
• 10:16
  Our third highlight is "Unmasking Success: Here's what we can take away.
• 10:19
  The Body Remembers: Cortney references the science behind " stuck" neuropeptides in different organs highlights that past stress can literally be trapped in our tissue.
• 10:33
  Movement as Medicine: The simple act of shaking, like the gazelle that outruns a predator, helps discharge trauma.
• 10:43
  Movement as Medicine: This might feel silly at first, but it can be transformative.
• 10:47
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: Especially for busy women balancing many roles.
• 10:54
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: Recognize how wound up we are is the first step.
• 10:58
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: From there, consistent practice like gentle movement, deep breathing, or mindful stretching can lower our stress baseline.
• 11:08
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: If you've been feeling stuck or restless, incorporating short bursts of freeing physical movement could be the relief you didn't know you needed.
• 11:19
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: If you enjoyed Cortney's explanation of Qoya, I'd recommend you read her book, "Give Yourself Permission." In "Menopause and How It Affects Your Skin," Dermatologist and Dermatologic Surgeon Dr.
• 11:34
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: Mary Alice Mina delved into the hormonal upheaval of menopause and how it manifests in our skin - from dryness to increased sensitivity.
• 11:46
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: She emphasized diet, stress management, and reframing aging as a larger journey.
• 11:54
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: I've also heard that stress and lifestyle factors can have a significant impact on your skin.
• 12:02
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: Absolutely.
• 12:03
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: So yeah, if you can just eliminate all the stress, you'll have amazing skin.
• 12:07
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: It's that simple.
• 12:09
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: I'm just kidding.
• 12:10
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: But yes, stress and lifestyle for sure.
• 12:12
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: I haven't actually read the book or watch the Netflix show about the Blue Zones, but I think that sort of shows that longevity, a lot of things affect longevity more than just going to the gym or working out.
• 12:27
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: Well, it's sort of like a culmination of all of these things.
• 12:30
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: Having a purpose in life, managing your stress.
• 12:34
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: All of those things impact aging.
• 12:37
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: And if you are not taking care of your body, you're not eating well; you're eating processed foods.
• 12:43
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: That's another thing I didn't mention, but actually eating processed foods, refined sugars, they actually bind to your collagen and make your collagen more brittle, friable.
• 12:53
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: And so, again, trying to eat whole foods, fruits and vegetables.
• 12:59
  Relaxation is a Learned Skill: I like sweets, so I can't say I can't eliminate sweets, but having them in moderation can really be impactful.
• 13:05
  And yes, stress: when we're stressed out, our cortisol levels go up.
• 13:10
  And yes, stress: We have inflammation, which that raises inflammation in our bodies.
• 13:15
  And yes, stress: And when our bodies are inflamed and cortisol levels are high, it's hard for us to fight infections.
• 13:21
  And yes, stress: And it's hard for our body is in this fight or flight state.
• 13:25
  And yes, stress: And so it's not a good place to be in, perpetually for years and years, right?
• 13:30
  And yes, stress: It's something just for emergencies.
• 13:32
  And yes, stress: And then, learning how to manage that stress, manage your mind.
• 13:36
  And yes, stress: That's something that I've really kind of diving deep into now in my forties.
• 13:41
  And yes, stress: It so much is mindset and mental.
• 13:44
  And yes, stress: And I'm not saying these changes that we're seeing are all in your head, they're not.
• 13:49
  And yes, stress: But how you reframe it.
• 13:51
  And yes, stress: How you look at aging, all of that is going to change how you feel about yourself in your life.
• 13:57
  And yes, stress: So that's super critical.
• 13:59
  And yes, stress: Absolutely Dr.
• 14:01
  And yes, stress: Mina's advice goes well beyond skin care products:
• 14:05
  Hormone and Cortisol: Menopause triggers shifts in estrogen and other hormones, and while chronic stress can spike cortisol levels and foster inflammation, both accelerate changes in our skin texture and resilience.
• 14:21
  The Role Of Nutrition: Refined sugars can weaken collagen, making our skin more prone to sagging and wrinkling.
• 14:30
  The Role Of Nutrition: Meanwhile, whole foods, fruits, and vegetables help maintain healthier complexion from the inside out.
• 14:39
  Mindset Really Matters: Dr.
• 14:42
  Mindset Really Matters: Mina champions reframing how we see aging and less about "losing our youth" it's more about embracing wisdom and self-care practices that keeps our entire body, including our skin at its best.
• 14:58
  Mindset Really Matters: It's a holistic reminder that beauty is deeply intertwined with our overall health, stress levels, and emotional well-being.
• 15:10
  Mindset Really Matters: "Overcome Anxiety With Proven Strategies," brought us the inspiring health and fitness coach, Susie Maldonado, who focuses on tangible strategies to conquer anxiety.
• 15:22
  Mindset Really Matters: She discussed everything from daily self-care routines and hydration to the concept that pain and peace can coexist.
• 15:32
  Mindset Really Matters: Let's listen to Susie's message.
• 15:34
  Mindset Really Matters: Like, rewind your day.
• 15:36
  Mindset Really Matters: Typically, whenever I have minimal sleep, I am more prone to have a negative mindset.
• 15:42
  And so there's key functions: are you hydrating well?
• 15:46
  And so there's key functions: Because a lot of times if we have headaches, we're not hydrating well, it causes all these ripple effects.
• 15:50
  And so there's key functions: If you're not getting out in nature.
• 15:51
  And so there's key functions: If you're not playing, if you're not sleeping well.
• 15:54
  And so there's key functions: Typically a lot of it can be stemmed back towards how are you taking care of yourself?
• 15:59
  And so there's key functions: How are you filling your cup?
• 16:00
  And so there's key functions: Are you surrounding yourself with the right people?
• 16:03
  And so there's key functions: Are you doing the things that make you your best?
• 16:05
  And so there's key functions: But really after losing my mom, life was really hard.
• 16:09
  And so there's key functions: I was able to learn that both pain and peace can co-exist I was able to learn that resiliency is my value for life.
• 16:19
  And so there's key functions: I was able to reflect on so many things.
• 16:22
  And so there's key functions: And overcoming adversity, but this time it was different.
• 16:25
  And so there's key functions: This time, it was a matter of stepping up, stepping in, and stepping over into the next chapter.
• 16:30
  And so there's key functions: For our listeners who are women in midlife, looking to adopt a positive outlook.
• 16:37
  And so there's key functions: What are the best practices that you recommend starting with?
• 16:41
  And so there's key functions: This one's tough for midlife women.
• 16:45
  And so there's key functions: The words I'm going to say may sound easy, but they're not.
• 16:48
  And so there's key functions: You have to understand that hard choices make an easy life, and easy choices make a hard life.
• 16:56
  And so there's key functions: I would say monitor the language that you speak to yourself.
• 17:02
  And so there's key functions: So if you are a midlife mom say you have kids, you don't have kids, no matter what is happening, you are you.
• 17:10
  And so there's key functions: So that's the the seven inches between your two ears.
• 17:13
  And so there's key functions: The dialogue that happens, it is reflective through body language, through whatever it is.
• 17:20
  And so there's key functions: So I would just say, grace, have compassion for yourself.
• 17:25
  And so there's key functions: Talk to yourself the way that you would talk to your best friend.
• 17:30
  And so there's key functions: Don't say you have to be kind because those words are rooted in our identity.
• 17:35
  And so there's key functions: In our self-confidence and our self-worth.
• 17:38
  And so there's key functions: Our self-worth really is the best way to put it, it's like the foundation of a house.
• 17:43
  And so there's key functions: Your self-worth has nothing to do with what you do.
• 17:47
  And so there's key functions: It's, it's how you see yourself day in and day out.
• 17:51
  And so there's key functions: Is the foundation of your house?
• 17:52
  And so there's key functions: Is it solid?
• 17:54
  And so there's key functions: Is it sturdy?
• 17:54
  And so there's key functions: Is it shaky?
• 17:55
  And so there's key functions: Is it cracked?
• 17:57
  And so there's key functions: Because from there, the house that you build on the foundation is your self-confidence.
• 18:01
  And so there's key functions: Susie's wisdom is grounded in simplicity and compassion.
• 18:06
  Back To Basics: She reminds us how crucial sleep, hydration, and a supportive environment are in shaping our mindset.
• 18:16
  Back To Basics: If we neglect these basics, anxiety flares up more easily.
• 18:21
  Self-talk Shapes Reality: According to Susie, the words we choose for ourselves matters immensely.
• 18:30
  Self-talk Shapes Reality: Even subtle changes, like choosing a kinder inner voice, builds resilience and self-worth.
• 18:37
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: Susie mentions that enduring short-term discomfort, setting boundaries, saying no, or making healthy choices can yield a much more peaceful long-term outcome.
• 18:52
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: Her message is that overcoming anxiety often starts with small, daily commitments to self-care and mindset shifts.
• 19:03
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: In "Stop Living On Autopilot," performance coach, keynote speaker, and author Shannon Talbot pushes us to confront whether we're merely existing or living.
• 19:16
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: She recommends writing your own obituary to see if our current path aligns with what we want our life to be.
• 19:25
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: So, I have an exercise in the book that I like to go to.
• 19:30
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: It's very morbid, and people are like, really Shannon, really?
• 19:35
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: If you were to write your obituary, It sounds horrible, I know, I'm sorry, but if you were to write your obituary right now, what would it say?
• 19:44
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: And are you okay with that?
• 19:46
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: And I think a lot of times we play it safe, right?
• 19:49
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: Or we just, we're just trying to get through the everyday.
• 19:51
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: We're trying to survive.
• 19:53
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: And at certain times in our lives, that is totally okay, right?
• 19:57
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: There's certain periods of our lives we're going to go through where it's really rough, and we just have to get through the day.
• 20:01
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: But there are other times in our lives where we know we're holding ourselves back, where we know we could be destined for bigger and better and we're just scared.
• 20:11
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: And then to that, I would ask, then are you going to be okay with not pursuing it?
• 20:15
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: We sometimes think it means this chasing our dreams means going from A to Z and it doesn't.
• 20:22
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: It just means taking one step in that direction and then another step and to keep going until you get there.
• 20:30
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: But if you can break it down into smaller steps, it actually won't seem that risky at the end of the day.
• 20:36
  Hard Choices, Easy Life: Shannon's approach might feel a bit morbid, but it's also incredibly
• 20:43
  Facing Mortality Sparks Action: Thinking about the end of our life can be a wake-up call for seizing the present.
• 20:52
  Facing Mortality Sparks Action: It forces us to ask, am I okay with where I'm headed?
• 20:57
  Taking Baby Steps To Big Dreams: She emphasizes that achieving your goal doesn't require a massive leap from A to Z.
• 21:07
  Taking Baby Steps To Big Dreams: It's about breaking them down into smaller, more digested steps, each one building momentum.
• 21:15
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Sometimes, we coast along, especially after overcoming a tough season.
• 21:24
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Shannon challenges us not to stay in survival mode longer than necessary.
• 21:30
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: It's okay to aim higher once you have the bandwidth.
• 21:35
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: If you've been living on autopilot, consider what you truly want your legacy to be and start making small moves to align with it.
• 21:47
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Shannon's book, "Breaking Free," is a great guide to help you move to the next level without feeling burned out or overwhelmed.
• 21:57
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: "Transform Your Brain Health Holistic Tips," featured Dr.
• 22:02
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Anna Marie Frank, who passionately spoke about reframing negative thoughts patterns and releasing the holds that others' opinions have on our well-being.
• 22:14
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Her holistic take on mental health integrates both mind and physical care.
• 22:21
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Well, first, pay attention to your narrative as it is right now.
• 22:28
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: And if it is constantly looking for what's wrong in the world, that is already going to fog your memory and fog your thinking.
• 22:38
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Because you are living in a stressful state.
• 22:40
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: This was a huge lesson in my essentially reprogramming of my brain.
• 22:46
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: I had to learn to let go of so many things.
• 22:49
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: I had to learn to realize that what other people think about me, what other people say about me has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what they've been through.
• 22:58
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Because at the end of the day, nobody can change your character.
• 23:03
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Your character will always shine through.
• 23:05
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: So if you're a person that has integrity, that does what they say they're going to do, this is a great way of being.
• 23:14
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: And so really pay attention to what you're allowing to hit you inside and make you feel disrupted.
• 23:22
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Anna Marie's message underscores that our mental landscape directly impacts our physical state.
• 23:29
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Negative Narratives versus Foggy Thinking: chronic negativity keeps our brains in stress mode, which can actually impair our focus and memory.
• 23:41
  Give Yourself Permission To Shift Gears: Recognizing the thought loops that drag us down is the first step.
• 23:46
  Unapologetic Integrity: She reminds us that no one else's words can change our character.
• 23:54
  Unapologetic Integrity: If we act with integrity, our true selves will shine through regardless of external criticism.
• 24:02
  Personal Accountability: Letting go of what others think doesn't mean ignoring constructive feedback - it means not allowing harmful opinions to define your self-worth.
• 24:15
  Personal Accountability: Anna Marie's framework teaches us that emotional clarity and self-respect are the cornerstones of a healthy mind in "Become Your Own Personal Stylist," we are joined by style and image consultant Alison Bruhn, who explores how style and confidence intersect.
• 24:37
  Personal Accountability: She encourages women to remember they're amazing each day and to invest time and care into their appearance, not for vanity, but for self-empowerment.
• 24:50
  Personal Accountability: For the lady who is listening or watching right now, what is one key advice that you would like her to hold close to her heart and remember it?
• 25:02
  Personal Accountability: Every day.
• 25:03
  Personal Accountability: Well, one thing is you're amazing.
• 25:07
  Personal Accountability: That's really the truth.
• 25:09
  Personal Accountability: And you need to say that to yourself in the mirror every morning.
• 25:13
  Personal Accountability: Hello friend, you're amazing, something like that.
• 25:15
  Personal Accountability: Because you just are.
• 25:17
  Personal Accountability: And life is so short.
• 25:18
  Personal Accountability: So tell yourself you're amazing, and then maybe spend a little more time on yourself than you have been in the past.
• 25:28
  Personal Accountability: In a nice way, in a way that shows you that you're still important.
• 25:34
  Personal Accountability: And other people notice it, too.
• 25:36
  Personal Accountability: I remember one man said, you have to help my wife she looks like she has the flu.
• 25:41
  Personal Accountability: And then he said, she's always in her workout clothes, but I don't even think she works out.
• 25:47
  Personal Accountability: And I was kind of like, look, you try living the life she's lived with four kids, and putting you through med school or whatever it is.
• 25:55
  Personal Accountability: But, you know, it is true that women are judged by their appearance and we don't want to get obsessive about that for sure.
• 26:04
  Personal Accountability: But like you said, when you look good, you feel good.
• 26:07
  Personal Accountability: Allison highlights the often-overlooked emotional impact of personal style.
• 26:12
  Practicing Morning Affirmations: By starting your day with a simple "you're amazing", you challenge negative narratives before they gain momentum.
• 26:25
  Appearance as Self-Care: We're judged by our appearance, like it or not - but more importantly, how we see ourselves can affect confidence in every area of our life.
• 26:39
  Functionality Meets Style: It's not about forsaking comfort; it's about finding a balance that honors your needs and aspiration.
• 26:50
  Functionality Meets Style: If wearing a flattering outfit lifts up your mood, that's a form of self-nurturing.
• 26:57
  Functionality Meets Style: Embracing your unique style can be a tangible way to reinforce your positive self-image.
• 27:04
  Functionality Meets Style: Next, in "Reclaim Your Energy And Confidence Starting Today," brought us self-leadership coach and host of Grace and Grit podcast, Courtney Townley.
• 27:18
  Functionality Meets Style: Courtney's profound insights on boundaries, why they might feel uncomfortable, but are absolutely essential for authentic relationships and personal freedom.
• 27:29
  Functionality Meets Style: Let's listen to Courtney now.
• 27:31
  Functionality Meets Style: Two primary reasons that we struggle to set boundaries.
• 27:35
  Functionality Meets Style: The first is we have to lean into discomfort.
• 27:39
  Functionality Meets Style: We have to open ourselves to the judgment of other people.
• 27:43
  Functionality Meets Style: We have to open ourselves up to the possibility of making other people uncomfortable.
• 27:47
  Functionality Meets Style: Cause people benefit from you not having boundaries.
• 27:51
  Functionality Meets Style: So that may be having a conversation with myself or with my husband about, how we talk to each other when we're upset with each other.
• 28:00
  Functionality Meets Style: I love you, and if you talk to me in a disrespectful way, I'm going to leave the room, and I will not engage, re-engage with the conversation until you can talk to me, like, I'm the woman that you fell in love with so many years ago.
• 28:15
  Functionality Meets Style: That's a boundary, it's just saying, hey, I love you, but right now, this is what I need from you in order to continue this in a healthy way.
• 28:22
  Functionality Meets Style: The second reason I think we struggle to set boundaries is because we have a lot of thoughts about boundaries.
• 28:31
  Functionality Meets Style: Like you said, it means I'm not going to be fun.
• 28:34
  Functionality Meets Style: It means no one's going to want to hang out with me.
• 28:37
  Functionality Meets Style: It means people are going to think I'm a jerk.
• 28:40
  Functionality Meets Style: Boundaries might mean, I've had a lot of clients say boundaries to them mean lack of freedom.
• 28:45
  Functionality Meets Style: I should be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want.
• 28:49
  Functionality Meets Style: Well, you can, but is that truly how you define freedom?
• 28:54
  Functionality Meets Style: Because I would argue that when you set healthy boundaries out of respect for yourself and your other relationships, you get to experience more freedom than you know what to do with because life gets so good and you are so fully expressed, and you feel amazing.
• 29:11
  Functionality Meets Style: To me, that's freedom.
• 29:13
  Functionality Meets Style: Doing what I want all the time in the moment is not freedom.
• 29:18
  Functionality Meets Style: It's temporary freedom, which comes with massive consequences.
• 29:21
  Functionality Meets Style: So again, leaning into discomfort, the willingness to lean into discomfort, and also the willingness and the practice of changing the way that we think about boundaries can really help us to set them and help us to follow through with them.
• 29:38
  Functionality Meets Style: And when we do it, the reward is more self-respect, more confidence, more energy.
• 29:45
  Functionality Meets Style: Life just, again, it gets better.
• 29:47
  Functionality Meets Style: Courtney reframes boundaries in a powerful way:
• 29:52
  Discomfort Leads to Growth: Setting boundaries can make us worry about being judged or hurting others' feelings, yet genuine closeness and respect often arises when we're clear about our limits.
• 30:07
  Who Benefits From No Boundaries: Courtney highlights that people sometimes enjoy the perks of you not setting boundaries.
• 30:16
  Who Benefits From No Boundaries: Recognizing this is a wake-up call.
• 30:19
  Redefining Freedom: Instead of seeing boundaries as restrictive, view them as a path to greater emotional freedom.
• 30:29
  Redefining Freedom: When you respect your own time and energy, you feel lighter, not heavier.
• 30:36
  Redefining Freedom: Her approach challenges us to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because on the other side is a life where we can thrive.
• 30:46
  Redefining Freedom: And finally, "Improve Your Health And Live a Longer Life," features Dr.
• 30:54
  Redefining Freedom: John Lewis, who shares practical steps to kickstart a healthier lifestyle.
• 31:00
  Redefining Freedom: From taking baseline health data to seeking coaching or therapy.
• 31:05
  Redefining Freedom: He emphasizes personal responsibility as the cornerstone of true wellness.
• 31:11
  Redefining Freedom: But I would say for people thinking about New Year's resolutions and starting off 2025 in a direction of trying to get healthier, we'll take some data.
• 31:20
  Redefining Freedom: Like go to your primary care physician or whoever your preferred healthcare provider is and say hay, I want some blood work.
• 31:27
  Redefining Freedom: I want some anthropomorphic data tested.
• 31:30
  Redefining Freedom: I want to have a baseline so that I know that when I start making changes, I can say, okay, we're doing this right now in January; we're making all these assessments.
• 31:40
  Redefining Freedom: So February, March, April, I can come back in April or May or so after I've given my body 90, 100, 120 days.
• 31:48
  Redefining Freedom: And then I can collect the same data again and reevaluate.
• 31:51
  Redefining Freedom: Tip number two would maybe be to reach out to somebody who, either through a family member, one of your close friends, somebody in your circle who can help you with coaching.
• 32:01
  Redefining Freedom: So a lot of people really need that type of coaching or therapeutic support from you know, somebody, a social worker, a psychologist or whatever.
• 32:10
  Redefining Freedom: Again, if you can afford to do that, if you have it within your means, if you have it through your insurance, man, get yourself some psychological support to help you work through these changes in the way you look at food, the way you look at activity, the way you look at putting health as a very key component to your life.
• 32:28
  Redefining Freedom: Because again, I would argue without good health, you really don't have a lot.
• 32:33
  Redefining Freedom: And then number three, take personal responsibility.
• 32:36
  Redefining Freedom: I mean, to me, just like we have too many Americans looking for the quick fix, looking for, oh, well, just give me a drug.
• 32:43
  Redefining Freedom: I don't care how I got here in the first place, but just give me that drug.
• 32:46
  Redefining Freedom: Take personal responsibility for yourself.
• 32:48
  Redefining Freedom: Dr.
• 32:49
  Redefining Freedom: Lewis' guidance simplifies the process of improving health by:
• 32:54
  Gathering Data First: Get your blood work and a full checkup by establishing a baseline.
• 33:00
  Gathering Data First: By tracking changes over 90 to 120 days shows you what's working and where you might need to adjust.
• 33:09
  Leveraging Coaching or Therapy: Whether it's a dietician, a psychologist, or a personal trainer, professional support can offer accountability and a structured approach to change.
• 33:21
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: Rather than seeking a quick fix or a magic pill, adopt healthier habits and growth mindset leads to longer-lasting results and a better quality of life.
• 33:35
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: Remember, even small incremental changes can add to big improvements over time.
• 33:43
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: And there you have it, our special 100th episode highlighting some of the most inspiring insights! Each one of these conversations holds powerful lessons on personal growth, health, confidence, and resilience.
• 33:59
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: If you enjoyed today's recap, please share it, like it, subscribe - it truly helps our community grow.
• 34:06
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: For more details on everything we've covered here, head on over to createthebestme.com/ep100.
• 34:16
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: And if you'd like to watch or listen to any of these full episodes, the show notes have direct links to each one of them.
• 34:25
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: And don't forget to come back next week as our guest will be Alicia Jones, a health and fitness expert specializing in helping women over 50 lose weight, live their healthiest, best life.
• 34:41
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: Trust me, you don't want to miss this episode.
• 34:45
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: Thank you so much for celebrating this milestone with me.
• 34:49
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: Until next time, keep thriving, keep learning, and keep creating the best version of yourself.
• 34:57
  Begin by Owning Your Choices: Bye for now.