Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 33: Dusk Funnel Finale: Rise of the Worm (Ain't that some Sh*t)

Transcript

Season One, Episode 33: Dusk Funnel Finale: Rise of the Worm (Ain't that some Sh*t) · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

• 0:00
  Greeting scum. Welcome back to Flail to the
• 0:02
  Face. Thank you all for joining us
• 0:05
  this evening, or this morning or whenever you might be tuning in
• 0:07
  to listen to this episode. My name is Walt and I can't
• 0:10
  sleep because the clowns will eat me if I do.
• 0:12
  And I'll be RGM again tonight as we continue playing Swedish
• 0:16
  Grandpa game. Everybody snap.
• 0:21
  I can't snap. I'm joined by the usual cast.
• 0:31
  Levi, would you be a little Lammy bird and introduce
• 0:34
  yourself first? You hello.
• 0:37
  I'm Levi. I'm the Lammy bird.
• 0:42
  I'm Thomas playing Quill Knock. Hi, I'm Kevin and I'm playing
• 0:49
  Tommy. This is the reason.
• 1:00
  I missed a memo. I'm Jacob.
• 1:05
  That's all I got. What the fuck?
• 1:07
  I'm Nate and I play Screech. It's delightful to see you all
• 1:12
  again. Now, before we continue, there's
• 1:15
  just one thing that I like to add.
• 1:42
  All right, so when we left off, you had escaped out the bottom
• 1:46
  of the dusk Funnel and found your way into a little temple
• 1:49
  complex where there was a fountain of black water and a
• 1:53
  bunch of weird dead guys and some tents and incense room and
• 1:58
  a banquet table full of what used to be food.
• 2:01
  And at the far end of that, when we ended, Sasha had just gone
• 2:04
  into another very richly decorated room with a big
• 2:08
  curtained alcove at the far end and a long gangly arm had
• 2:13
  dropped out. And I believe Tommy and Svend
• 2:18
  were on their way in after Sasha.
• 2:20
  Maybe screech too. Pretty sure we're all on our way
• 2:23
  in there for that. I don't remember where Kool
• 2:26
  Knock was. I would have been following
• 2:28
  along behind Svend like I was just tired of like towing him
• 2:32
  along but still got to make sure he stays out of trouble.
• 2:38
  That's very nice of you. So yeah, I guess everyone is in
• 2:42
  the room or entering the room adjacent to the room.
• 2:45
  I'm in the room. Room curious.
• 2:48
  Are you still pissed at? Us, though A. 100%.
• 2:51
  Yeah, fuck. Did what?
• 2:54
  I'm going to pick up Spin and just throw him at Sasha.
• 2:58
  Oh catcher don't grab spin like that, what the fuck is going on?
• 3:03
  Honey, just eat them. Where are you eating?
• 3:07
  At Sasha. I'm not sure who should be
• 3:12
  making the attack roll there. I think they're going to argue
• 3:16
  that it's a strength check because I'm just hurling it at.
• 3:19
  It I'm definitely trying not to be thrown.
• 3:21
  I'm a little. I'm going to throw a hit, man.
• 3:23
  Contested strength check for me to check them.
• 3:28
  Oh shoot fuck is happening. I don't have any dice.
• 3:31
  You're daring to fly. I'm using an omen.
• 3:34
  What? Do you mean?
• 3:36
  Don't even think I have those. Out of 19.
• 3:42
  Jesus. All right.
• 3:43
  You eat this little old goblin God.
• 3:48
  You're just. It's get her.
• 3:50
  Yeah, what do you mean get her spin as?
• 3:52
  Fucks do. You dodge me.
• 3:57
  I I don't know. I'm on my little pig, so my
• 4:01
  pig's just running around, OK? You love that pig?
• 4:03
  Yeah. Did he give you the pig?
• 4:06
  I'm on the pig. I thought you claimed the pig.
• 4:10
  It was AGTA scenario it. Was Thomas give me a ranged
• 4:17
  attack, Levi give me a defence? That's a one.
• 4:24
  Oh, spin will break it for. Sure.
• 4:26
  What the fuck, guys? I got an 11.
• 4:30
  I mean, I think you're I. Think I'm good?
• 4:33
  Yeah, I'm pretty sure Tommy and Screech are just standing at the
• 4:37
  door. Like what?
• 4:38
  Really. What the fuck just happened?
• 4:40
  You have a point of order. On the floor.
• 4:43
  So since it's a natural one, I'm going to go ahead and it is
• 4:48
  basically Quill not grabbing spin, pulling him overhead, but
• 4:53
  as he like goes to like Chuck him at Sasha, I lose my balance
• 4:58
  and then I just fall underneath spin in just like a big collapse
• 5:02
  pile. Do you want to do a damage roll
• 5:06
  or just just straight one? Time.
• 5:08
  That's like, I don't know, dropping a sack of potatoes,
• 5:11
  it's not going to hurt you that badly.
• 5:12
  But it hits me in the nose so I'm going to say a point of
• 5:15
  damage then at. Least.
• 5:16
  If you really want to take that point of damage, be my guest.
• 5:19
  Yes, I actually injured myself. How many points of damage can
• 5:22
  you take spin? No.
• 5:25
  And I, and I'm trying to argue that you're falling on me.
• 5:29
  You're not damaging yourself. Oh no.
• 5:31
  Just. Fucking I'm taking the damage
• 5:35
  but. Nobody had any respect for you
• 5:36
  anyway. Spin's going to dust off his
• 5:41
  fucking weird cloth and give him two fingers and walk off the
• 5:44
  fucking kids picking up Spin every left and right pick.
• 5:47
  No goddamn spins. Is there light in this cave?
• 5:51
  Yeah, yeah. Every room you've been in is
• 5:53
  illuminated, including this one. There's some standing torches on
• 5:57
  either side of this alcove. Do we see the hand that was
• 6:01
  reaching down to? OK, The old guy wanders in
• 6:05
  behind you. Hey.
• 6:06
  What's going on in here? I heard yelling.
• 6:09
  Yes, Finn was supposed to try and catch this this pig rider
• 6:13
  over here but doesn't want to be a team player.
• 6:16
  Or you just pick me up and throw.
• 6:18
  What do you mean? Yay player?
• 6:20
  You know what? I'm going to take my my weird
• 6:22
  fucking what the hell is it? That weird.
• 6:25
  Stick. Yeah, it's like this.
• 6:27
  Stick and I'm going to try to trip.
• 6:28
  This pig. As it runs by me.
• 6:31
  What have I picked to do to? You I just.
• 6:33
  You know, stick a stick, a stick in the the small.
• 6:35
  You know, possibly think you could act indicted the air like
• 6:38
  fucking what the fuck did I do? I don't know everything.
• 6:42
  I'm going to call that agility DR16.
• 6:45
  It's hard to trip something with four legs.
• 6:48
  All right, well, I'm, I'm two doses high.
• 6:51
  One dose high. One dose.
• 6:53
  Yeah, you have one dose left. Does that give?
• 6:55
  Plus plus to my agility. You just gained an extra D4 HP.
• 6:59
  That's all. Oh fuck, I don't trick this pig.
• 7:02
  Oh wait, no, there is an additional thing.
• 7:04
  You get plus one to strength and agility stacking each time.
• 7:08
  I tell you, I fucked this pig up.
• 7:09
  You can't walk no more. I get to roll 2.
• 7:13
  Give me the. Fuck not that pig.
• 7:15
  Yeah, but I'm on the pig and this pig never did anything to
• 7:18
  you. So if anything, that's an
• 7:19
  agility to just stay on the pig. I don't know why we're.
• 7:21
  Stopping. This young boy, but.
• 7:23
  Doesn't mean anything. As these Looney Tunes are doing
• 7:26
  whatever the fuck they're doing, Tommy is going to run over to
• 7:29
  the dangling hand and RIP it down.
• 7:31
  Okay, God, put a pin in that. Let's finish whatever the fuck
• 7:35
  is going on over there. What the fuck?
• 7:38
  What? Why'd you trip me?
• 7:40
  Sasha, you need. To stay away or?
• 7:44
  No, shut the fuck up, Sasha. I.
• 7:46
  Can kill you. Oh, you've been such an asshole
• 7:49
  this entire time. Spin this.
• 7:51
  Just spin. Stop Sasha, you stop throwing
• 7:53
  spins now can we continue spin? Would really like to get out of
• 7:57
  here and maybe change under loins.
• 8:00
  It's been long day. As this exchange takes place,
• 8:03
  Tommy gets over beside them at the arm and as you go for it, it
• 8:07
  reaches out and grabs you around the torso and.
• 8:11
  Lifts you up, getting touched. Oh, me.
• 8:13
  Oh, yeah. OK.
• 8:14
  And as it lifts you, you can see sort of through the curtains In
• 8:18
  that alcove is the torso of a person about twice normal size.
• 8:24
  And below the waist it turns into this long, ropey,
• 8:28
  disgusting maggot body, and the last thing you see is this thing
• 8:32
  opening its mouth, which doesn't end at its jaw like the entire
• 8:35
  front of its body. It's torso opens up into a mouth
• 8:39
  and it shoves you inside and then gulps you down.
• 8:41
  Well, fuck no. Thank you.
• 8:43
  Whoa, that's what he gets. Is that torso still there?
• 8:46
  Yes, it's still inside behind the curtain.
• 8:48
  Can I do anything if I make an attack to not let this happen?
• 8:53
  Is he in the? Mouth or.
• 8:55
  Is he eating? Tommy, it feels like he got
• 8:58
  swallowed whole. You're still alive, you're
• 9:00
  awake. I would like to not be swallowed
• 9:02
  whole if I could. Possibly.
• 9:04
  I would like to take punch knife in one hand and tomahawk in the
• 9:08
  other and try to Drax my way out of it.
• 9:13
  Is there a lower portion to this torso?
• 9:15
  Yeah, it's Ropey. It turns into like a giant
• 9:17
  maggot body. Oh, OK.
• 9:21
  Yeah. Is this arm like back out again?
• 9:25
  Yes. Oh, then I'm going to take this
• 9:27
  fucking weapon that I've had for fucking forever.
• 9:32
  The Lucerne Hammer. Yes, I'll bring it down on this
• 9:35
  fucking weird creepy gangly arm if I possibly can.
• 9:39
  And Tommy, yes, you can do that attack from the inside as well.
• 9:43
  OK, what's the Dr. on that? I'm going to leave it at 12:00
• 9:48
  just because it's, you know, if you swing, you're going to hit
• 9:51
  something. It's just kind of hard to build
• 9:53
  up the momentum to get a really strong hit.
• 9:56
  OK, well, I got a four, so that's not going to work out for
• 9:59
  me. You feel it squishing and
• 10:01
  sliding around your blades. OK.
• 10:04
  I got a 12. Twelve hits.
• 10:06
  All right, now let's see. Do you gut check this thing?
• 10:09
  That's one damage. Good thing it doesn't have
• 10:12
  armor. Fucking.
• 10:14
  Screech, defend, I'll. Do my best 10.
• 10:21
  Take yourself AD 12 damage. Baby girl, this might.
• 10:29
  Be and then test toughness. Five damage test toughness.
• 10:37
  Oh yeah, that's three. It grabs you and it uses teeth
• 10:42
  this time, unlike with Tommy, and just chomps on you and
• 10:46
  swallows you down. Tommy, you have a friend inside
• 10:49
  of it now. Fancy.
• 10:55
  Meeting you here, I suppose. Yeah, well, let's get out of
• 10:59
  here so we can eat some fucking Peaches together, bud.
• 11:04
  Cut back to the rest of the guys or are we just going to try to
• 11:06
  fucking cut through? I'm hopping back on my pig and
• 11:10
  riding out of this room because I still hate these fucks.
• 11:16
  At this point I quill not seen both Tommy and Screech, the two
• 11:21
  other sane people in this party going into that.
• 11:25
  I charge after it. I'm going to see if I can hit it
• 11:28
  with my Warhammer. And what's Spind doing well?
• 11:32
  Relocating his hip. Spind will not be able to all
• 11:35
  run this son of bitch. So Spind guess he tried to give
• 11:38
  him the old Heimlich. I'm going to swing out his gut
• 11:43
  with my stick. All right.
• 11:45
  Who's beating the shit out of us in a fucking sack?
• 11:49
  We're the candy and the pinata. This is bullshit, Levi, as Sasha
• 11:55
  turns and navigates Dieter back out of the room at the far end
• 11:58
  of the dining hall, from the ceiling dropped to, I want to
• 12:02
  call maggot centaurs. They're like centaurs, but
• 12:06
  instead of horse, it's maggot. And the upper body is also
• 12:09
  maggot, but it's humanoid. It's got arms.
• 12:11
  They've got Spears. Well, I love it.
• 12:14
  I dodge them and then I keep running.
• 12:17
  I dodge them. I dodge them.
• 12:18
  Obviously. Clearly.
• 12:21
  Why Deeder move? Give me two defense tests then,
• 12:24
  or just two defense what's? That buddy, that looks like it
• 12:28
  was going well for you right there, but.
• 12:30
  A natural one and a weapon. What's a natural one do?
• 12:39
  Who was it for? Double S damage and degrades
• 12:41
  armor. 1 tier. Oh, I'm dead.
• 12:43
  How? Much health you got?
• 12:47
  Not much. One, you might be OK.
• 12:49
  No, you might be OK. I have.
• 12:50
  Three you. Exploded earlier.
• 12:52
  I have 3 wear armor but it's. Right here.
• 12:54
  I know I have no armor. I have three.
• 12:56
  I write my shit down. You're about to be brittle.
• 12:58
  I got it all written down too buddy.
• 13:00
  Roll AD 6 and hope you roll A1 'cause if you're rolling roll
• 13:03
  anything else you're gonna die unless someone has an omen.
• 13:07
  What is it 6? I I leave here because I hate
• 13:10
  these people. Step, Step, step, step, step,
• 13:13
  step. I'm at -1.
• 13:16
  Oh. No.
• 13:19
  Tell me about it. You're now the headless pigsman.
• 13:23
  Well, I feel like these maggots would just kind of like land on
• 13:26
  me with their gelatinous humanoid bodies and like it'll
• 13:30
  just take chunks out of me like 2 dogs eating a spaghetti
• 13:35
  noodle. You know from different ends
• 13:36
  you. Know the two and then they kiss
• 13:38
  and then they. Kiss and then.
• 13:40
  Kiss and then I am ripped in half and.
• 13:42
  The stronger one devours the other I.
• 13:44
  Didn't even get to see it happen.
• 13:45
  I'll see you guys next week. Fuck what happened to my my pig?
• 13:54
  Well, that's a snack, brother. That's for for well to know, and
• 13:58
  that's to find out. You can keep playing Dieter the
• 14:01
  Powder Pig. Oh.
• 14:03
  Yes. Thomas, I think you declared
• 14:07
  next, so go for it. That is a 2.
• 14:11
  That is a miss, yeah. Good change.
• 14:13
  OK, wild swing with that Warhammer just bounces into the
• 14:17
  the side of the wall. Oh, I got to swing on the
• 14:20
  fucking. That's that's a natural 20.
• 14:22
  Oh. Spin's been golfing. 1.
• 14:28
  Oh my goodness. He connects, but not a lot of
• 14:34
  power. Let's see, I'm going to flip a
• 14:36
  coin. Jacob year 1.
• 14:37
  Thomas, Year 2. Good, great, grand.
• 14:40
  Thomas, Defend. Oh boy, that's a no.
• 14:44
  That's a four. Take D12 damage and give me a
• 14:47
  toughness test. Oh God.
• 14:50
  That's 5 minus my armor 2, so I take 3.
• 14:56
  DR14. The R-14 toughness, That's 4.
• 15:00
  You know what happens now. That's exactly what it sounds
• 15:05
  like. What the fuck?
• 15:08
  And Quilnock lands on top of Screech.
• 15:13
  Come on. OK, All right, boys.
• 15:15
  It's getting real crowded in here, guys.
• 15:18
  Spin's got us. No, no spin.
• 15:24
  Is pretty sure you are fucked. I'm pretty sure you're fucked.
• 15:27
  It seems weird. Hold the new earlier, I'm sure.
• 15:34
  No, he's still out there with Svend and Dieter us in the
• 15:37
  belly. Can we try to get out?
• 15:40
  If you want to, sure. Go for the poop hole.
• 15:43
  Go toward the light. No, Tommy is going to actually
• 15:49
  he he's, he's going to try to go out the way he came.
• 15:51
  He's going to try to climb up the esophagus and out the
• 15:54
  fucking mouth. OK, let's call that.
• 15:57
  I'm going to call that strength and I'm going to call it DR16,
• 16:00
  because you've got to squeeze past Screech and Quill Knock to
• 16:03
  get out. Can I use them as leverage and
• 16:07
  possibly you're? Going to step on your friends to
• 16:10
  get out. I, I I'm going to clear the past
• 16:14
  so that we can all get out. I've heard this before.
• 16:18
  Because it's my fucking crew. I'm going to do everything I can
• 16:21
  to make sure that we make it out alive.
• 16:28
  Well, that's a 5. Now you kind of.
• 16:31
  Crawl up like across screeches back and then get stuck and like
• 16:35
  you just kind of wedged in there together in his.
• 16:37
  Neck. Get your boot out of my eye.
• 16:41
  I wish I could. Put your boot in my eye.
• 16:46
  I put my boot in his eye, just a little touch and you can all
• 16:49
  feel like the articulated muscles lining whatever this
• 16:53
  organ that you're stuck in is kind of like undulating and
• 16:56
  pulling you further in. Speaking of organs.
• 16:59
  Every now and again you feel a stick whacking against you.
• 17:03
  Speaking of organs, I'm going to reach in the pouch on my side
• 17:06
  here and I'm going to pull out the esophagus.
• 17:09
  Of. No turn 1.
• 17:12
  Well, you well, yes, the turn one turn.
• 17:15
  Oh my God. Shield your jellied eyes, let's
• 17:19
  be they be plucked from your skull, maggots.
• 17:22
  And then I look at Quillnock, and then I shrug.
• 17:25
  And then I blow on the the the conch that is turd What's
• 17:31
  fucking Larrits or whatever. Dealer's just going to run
• 17:35
  around and try to find some powder.
• 17:39
  You you smell some on spend. Spend has some I'm.
• 17:42
  I'm literally a walking. He's going to rut into you
• 17:45
  looking for that sweet, sweet powder.
• 17:47
  He keeps it up his butt, so you know, like.
• 17:50
  He's he's eyes deep. Right.
• 17:53
  And he'll stink. Whistle.
• 17:54
  Wherever he needs to be. So spend how are you dealing
• 17:58
  with this and. And a pig in my butt.
• 18:00
  What else? Yeah, also that.
• 18:03
  Tell me that first. OK with a pigot with a pig snout
• 18:06
  in my ass, me ready at a battle stance with my stick looking up
• 18:11
  and I see like this this fucking weird creature in front of me
• 18:15
  and I hear the conch being blown.
• 18:18
  What does it look like from my point of view?
• 18:21
  Does the sound of the conch explode out of that dude's
• 18:24
  mouth? Because if it if his mouth opens
• 18:26
  up, I'm going to throw my stick in there to jam it open to make
• 18:29
  it easier for people to get out. I like it.
• 18:32
  Give me call it DR14. OK, that's not going to happen,
• 18:37
  fellas. That's that's three.
• 18:40
  Dieter talks to you on the grounds that's.
• 18:45
  What happens you, you, you have it lined up.
• 18:47
  You're about to like stick the the prod in and then Dieter just
• 18:51
  pops on you. Oh.
• 18:53
  Just like 7 it's. Been.
• 18:54
  Oh yes, not right now. Look here, little piggy Spin
• 18:58
  understands, but oh, it's been blanky.
• 19:02
  We cut to somewhere else in the multiverse.
• 19:05
  Where is Turdwod right now? What did he do after he dropped
• 19:08
  everyone? Off after.
• 19:10
  The Church of dorm. Where's that fucker?
• 19:14
  Is he when he gets the call? Where were we supposed Cancun?
• 19:17
  He's out on a beach in Cancun right now, just sunbathing with
• 19:21
  one of them silver things just getting a nice Sheen on his.
• 19:24
  He was a silver turf. I thought he's like a Kaiju.
• 19:29
  A giant Kaiju worm. Well, I guess I, I, he's got,
• 19:34
  he's been, he's been out and about.
• 19:35
  So he's just a giant submarine worm kind of thing.
• 19:38
  But. He's got this little thing that
• 19:41
  he can shoot and can like an avatar that can walk around.
• 19:44
  But once he hears that call, I'm going to just seep right into
• 19:48
  the earth, back into my shit worm Giganta sub or whatever I
• 19:52
  am now. And then you can.
• 19:55
  Play use my. Subnautica use my.
• 19:57
  Ungodly worm powers to get there as quick as possible.
• 20:01
  I don't know how many rounds that would take.
• 20:03
  I guess I this is such a strange way for Turdwod to come back.
• 20:08
  Yeah. You're not wrong.
• 20:11
  We'll be AD 6, Jake. OK.
• 20:13
  Oh. We're he's going to show up and
• 20:15
  we'll be dead. What's a four?
• 20:17
  Get me there, Walter. 4 rounds. Walter.
• 20:19
  Yep, you'll get there in 4 rounds.
• 20:22
  Wow, that's just. He's a demigod.
• 20:25
  He's a worm demigod of shit. Yeah, wow.
• 20:27
  OK, well that's what I did. The sea.
• 20:30
  Station. What's up with the two the two
• 20:32
  mega guys that munched me down? Yeah, Oh yeah.
• 20:35
  The Mega Stint tires, they're kind of crawling toward the room
• 20:39
  with their Spears at the ready. They were at the far end of the
• 20:42
  dining hall and now they're closing in.
• 20:44
  It ended with spinned making that unsuccessful manoeuvre
• 20:50
  trying to prop the mouth open. So spend defends spend.
• 20:55
  Good, great spend he's. He's going to die.
• 20:59
  Here. OK, that's 5.
• 21:03
  South. D12 Damage in ADR 14 toughness
• 21:07
  test. Oh.
• 21:10
  God, I don't think it matters 4. I'm dead.
• 21:14
  Damage is. What?
• 21:16
  I am fucking B squished. I am.
• 21:22
  Smoosh. Did I find the powder?
• 21:26
  In my blood and guts. I'm going to say yeah, Dieter
• 21:29
  managed to pull the powder out of wherever Spin was hiding it.
• 21:32
  OK. Well, he doesn't need it.
• 21:34
  He he just collects it for people.
• 21:37
  Professional death. Unprofessional.
• 21:41
  And let's see, Quill Knock, Sven's limp little body lands on
• 21:46
  top of you and this thing's gullet.
• 21:48
  Wouldn't I be blocking the way? No, you got up to like you're
• 21:52
  you're stuck between the internal wall and screech and
• 21:55
  squeal Knock. Queal Knock was eaten after you
• 21:57
  guys, all right? And the the maggot guys are
• 22:01
  dragging Sasha's corpse into the room, also between them.
• 22:06
  Wow, maybe we should take a break I.
• 22:10
  Guess we did. And welcome back to Flail with
• 22:34
  the Face. Currently, most of the party
• 22:35
  members are inside the gut of the Devourer, and the last is on
• 22:40
  her way. The name of this thing's the
• 22:43
  Devourer. Yeah.
• 22:45
  I mean, I feel like. That kind of on the news?
• 22:47
  Yeah, yeah, I guess it's. Obvious now, yeah, looking back.
• 22:50
  Tip of the Dick. What tip of the Dick let's?
• 22:54
  We can do what now? I'm 3 rounds away everyone.
• 22:58
  Everyone feels things shift around them as the jaw opens
• 23:02
  again and Sasha slides down on top of spins on top of Quill
• 23:07
  Knock. On top of spinner.
• 23:09
  One on top of Tommy. What a glutton.
• 23:13
  Yeah. I would like to not be in the
• 23:16
  Devourer anymore. Please.
• 23:17
  Please. You've got a very uphill baffle
• 23:19
  ahead of you instead of up. I'm because I know that's not
• 23:22
  going to work. Can I just go through like
• 23:24
  trying to cut your way out again?
• 23:25
  Yes, I'm going to say yes, but I'm going to call it ADR.
• 23:30
  If he is like going to start like kind of like Spearing and
• 23:33
  like trying to saw, I am going to press against him as well to
• 23:38
  just like add more force behind like his cutting motion, is it
• 23:43
  basically leaning my weight into it as well?
• 23:46
  Or hump to the hump. I mean, if he's stuck right
• 23:48
  behind me, I might as well do the same.
• 23:51
  Deer's just going to run around. Strange checks from us to give
• 23:55
  him bonuses on his role. No, I'm going to call it still
• 23:59
  ADR 16 just because you got yourself wedged next to screech.
• 24:03
  But everyone who helps supply pressure will add an extra point
• 24:07
  of damage all. Right.
• 24:09
  Fucking 16 nice fucking shit 16 roll that Dami.
• 24:13
  All right, I did say I was using the I had the tomahawk and the
• 24:17
  punch knife the last time. So the way I see I'm just kind
• 24:21
  of do I do both or sure? OK, so tomahawk is D6, that's a
• 24:28
  2 and punch knife is D4 and that's a 2 as well.
• 24:31
  So 4 points of damage there, +2 from cool knock and screech,
• 24:35
  lending those. Are big numbers.
• 24:38
  Screech. You feel almost like reality
• 24:40
  freeze for a split second as a familiar presence enters your
• 24:46
  consciousness from outside. I must have left a dingleberry
• 24:50
  for telepathy. Dorian.
• 24:55
  Dorian. I can smell that you're in
• 24:59
  trouble from the other side of the fucking planet.
• 25:02
  I. Hope it's not going to be all
• 25:04
  shit. I am the demigod of shit.
• 25:08
  It's just something I'm working on.
• 25:11
  I'm trying to liven up myself a little bit.
• 25:12
  Look, I've still got about, you know, 30 seconds before I get
• 25:15
  there. How are things looking not?
• 25:16
  Great Screech is in trouble. Screech.
• 25:19
  Lots of trouble. I kind of figured this would be
• 25:21
  the problem after I had left, if you only had joined me, joined
• 25:25
  me back then. But it's fine, I'll be there
• 25:28
  shortly. Just stay alive.
• 25:34
  And I disconnected. And that little psychic freeze
• 25:41
  frame ends. We cut to outside.
• 25:46
  I assume Dieter is still running around Todward.
• 25:50
  Describe what it looks like as you enter or re enter the
• 25:53
  physical plane after moving through reality to get here.
• 25:57
  I'm going. To materialize as like a a
• 26:00
  another avatar of myself, but matching the same kind of like
• 26:05
  size of this devourer. I think if if Todd were to were
• 26:10
  to show up immediately, he would just I would shoot like this
• 26:13
  stream of just shit into the devourer's mouth and and force,
• 26:21
  force and force an exit the. Worst thing about this to me is
• 26:32
  that I saw this happening before you started describing it.
• 26:37
  I hate that I know you so well, so I'm just going.
• 26:42
  To I'm just going to, it's like a superpower super laxative.
• 26:46
  I'm just going to that's that's what Todd Board does.
• 26:50
  Oh. Fuck.
• 26:51
  Dorian's still there. I was.
• 26:53
  He's still alive. So I'm I'm still willing to give
• 26:56
  him a chance at life. I guess give me a presence test
• 27:00
  arranged attack. Oh weird, that's an 18 on the
• 27:02
  dice. Oh man, I.
• 27:03
  Wonder how much a demigod shit spray does.
• 27:08
  If this thing's if this thing's devouring, it's doing D12
• 27:11
  damage. Well, I I got the impression
• 27:13
  that he was trying to get you out rather than do damage.
• 27:16
  Oh, presence, I see. Yeah, yeah.
• 27:18
  Oh, that was fucking gross. What an.
• 27:20
  Entrance. Holy shit.
• 27:22
  Literally fucking. Christ, that's Todd Word's turn.
• 27:32
  We we flushed out. I I Apparently we got the old
• 27:36
  man out. He was in there first.
• 27:38
  No, he didn't. He never went in there.
• 27:41
  Teeter's going to like, ride up under the old man and throw him
• 27:44
  on his back and scurry around. This is funny, Suey.
• 27:52
  Jake Romeo, D4. That's.
• 27:57
  Four. That's all of them, isn't it?
• 27:59
  Yes, there's this giant heave and you all feel yourself being
• 28:07
  lifted up and expelled through a haze of saliva and demigod
• 28:12
  diarrhea and you all just get expelled in a heap on the floor
• 28:16
  of this room. Again.
• 28:22
  Again. Again.
• 28:29
  Oh, that blood cuff's getting to you, huh?
• 28:33
  Me too, man. Me too.
• 28:38
  Tommy's just going to fucking stand there just in utter shock,
• 28:42
  not what the fuck is. This thing still alive?
• 28:46
  Why? Oh, fuck, yes, that's right.
• 28:49
  Yeah. OK.
• 28:51
  Two arms. Quilnock just looks at both back
• 28:55
  and forth and then like realizes that he's just covered in shit
• 28:59
  and just starts retching just. I guess at this point we need an
• 29:05
  initiative role to see who gains control of the situation first.
• 29:08
  That's a good idea, Dieter. Roll a Dieter?
• 29:12
  Sure. 4. Hey.
• 29:17
  That's you guys. What's everybody doing?
• 29:19
  I'll. Try a thing.
• 29:21
  I want to use my fungal pipe. Oh, is it the one that you're
• 29:23
  talking about that hits the? Scrolls.
• 29:26
  Yeah, it casts like a random scroll.
• 29:29
  Whatever, Whatever it is, it's A7.
• 29:31
  Creature becomes invisible for D6 rounds until it's damaged
• 29:34
  attacking, defending with the R6.
• 29:36
  I do like the idea that I just fucking covered in shit and
• 29:40
  saliva and I pull it a pipe and just fucking bring a coal back
• 29:44
  to life inside of it and disappear like fucking roto.
• 29:50
  All right. And it automatically
• 29:51
  successfully casts the activates the power, so you're good to go,
• 29:55
  no? Build is never made.
• 29:59
  I think it can. Is Todd Word a part of this
• 30:02
  initiative? Yeah.
• 30:03
  I think he's just going to make a big boy move and fucking.
• 30:07
  He warned Dorian that if he was called upon, that Dorian would
• 30:11
  be coming with them. So he's here to take Dorian, but
• 30:14
  he's also here to put a stop to what was trying to kill him
• 30:17
  before we could absorb him. So I'm going to like have like
• 30:23
  tendrils of decay grab on to this thing from whatever lens it
• 30:27
  has and quarter it, and then have more tendrils shoot up and
• 30:31
  just split it into half. All right, I for an instant
• 30:36
  kill, I'm going to call that ADR 16 and you're rolling flat.
• 30:45
  Maybe I should have. Where'd it go?
• 30:47
  Maybe she had a Levi blow a kiss on it.
• 30:49
  I'm good. What'd you say?
• 30:52
  16. I got a 16.
• 30:55
  Tell me about it. So.
• 31:02
  This thing goes to grab the pig theater and throw it in its
• 31:05
  mouth in a tendril just shipped, and decay shoots out from one of
• 31:10
  the walls and grabs on to the hand and pulls, snaps it back
• 31:12
  into place. And then three more pop out and
• 31:15
  grab some other weird appendages and then a couple more and more
• 31:19
  until it's just like a bunch of tendrils like a ball around them
• 31:22
  and then just RIP them apart and there's fucking guts and shit
• 31:25
  flying all over the look. And then Todd words going to
• 31:31
  slowly, his avatar is going to slowly turn towards screech.
• 31:34
  It's time you came with me. Oh.
• 31:37
  Shit, you can see me. I'm a fucking shit God.
• 31:40
  What? What night?
• 31:42
  Sorry man, I thought invisible meant invisible.
• 31:45
  No, no, there's, you'll understand, understand.
• 31:48
  I'm going to, I'm going to have the rest of my like body come up
• 31:53
  almost like an elevator and the mouth is just gaping.
• 31:56
  And then there's Paul Troon's open arms and face just slowly
• 32:01
  gaping for him to enter through. It's time to come home, Dorian,
• 32:06
  where you belong. Yeah, let's turn back to
• 32:09
  everybody. I'm really not long for this
• 32:12
  world as it is. Boys.
• 32:14
  Tommy, you got to get back. God knows you need to live
• 32:18
  through this. If you could help my friends out
• 32:20
  one last time. Last time.
• 32:22
  With like what enchanted shit gear?
• 32:24
  No giving us the fuck out of another shitty.
• 32:26
  Situation No, that's fine. And and the the first avatar
• 32:30
  snaps his fingers and then two like shit buses pull up.
• 32:35
  He snaps his he snapped his fingers and it's just a little
• 32:38
  tude. What the fuck?
• 32:46
  I don't know man. We went to a weird place early
• 32:48
  on. Yeah, yeah, we.
• 32:50
  Really did. What are the maggot centaurs
• 32:55
  doing at this whole situation? They're.
• 32:57
  Currently fighting a couple of dingleberries of.
• 33:02
  Course they are, Jake. When Todd were tore the Devourer
• 33:06
  apart, they just kind of like writhed and shriveled up and
• 33:10
  went fetal and are dead on the ground all right.
• 33:15
  It's time I have a timeshare in Cancun.
• 33:17
  I'm we're wasting precious moments.
• 33:18
  Come on. Oh yeah, that sounds pretty
• 33:21
  effects good. Approval season is up next and.
• 33:24
  She's such an asshole. What did you just?
• 33:26
  Say nothing to say. Look, we don't have much time.
• 33:28
  Don't have much time. Say goodbye to your friends.
• 33:30
  And you just feel invisible shit squish against you with a with a
• 33:37
  creepy hunchy hug goodbye. And then I just.
• 33:43
  Tommy's going to bring him in and then just hold him a little
• 33:46
  longer. Just weird.
• 33:51
  Get out of here. Don't go there, girlfriend.
• 33:56
  Hey can we can we get a lift at least the the fuck out of this
• 33:59
  place? What do you think the two?
• 34:01
  What do you think the two logs are for?
• 34:03
  I don't know. There's so much.
• 34:05
  It's a fucking happen in the last five minutes.
• 34:07
  I don't know what the fuck's going on.
• 34:08
  I'm going to grab Dieter around the belly and just hold him, OK?
• 34:13
  I'm going to go up to cold knock and I'm going to bug in poke him
• 34:16
  in the ruins like I see you. I hope perhaps someday to see
• 34:25
  you with my own eyes. I'm going to cry and then I just
• 34:29
  fuck you. Just see footsteps in the shit.
• 34:46
  Holy fuck. Oh yeah, and I fucking and I
• 34:51
  reach out to Tommy. I hand them the Luzerne's hammer
• 34:56
  and like when I let it go, it just becomes visible again.
• 34:59
  Kill things. I got you brother.
• 35:02
  I guess. Elevator up.
• 35:04
  I don't fucking know. Two vehicles I left you will
• 35:08
  consume you and bring you to the top.
• 35:10
  It's fine. It's whatever.
• 35:11
  Just whatever. Just try not to breathe for a
• 35:13
  little bit, a little bit. All right, let's go.
• 35:17
  And Paul Troon closes on the invisible door and and then we
• 35:22
  like materialize back into the earth and and Todd Word and
• 35:27
  Dorian and Screech go on their own little adventure.
• 35:30
  My only question. Is that some shit?
• 35:33
  Yeah, my only question is, is Todd Word considered a a fucking
• 35:40
  misery? Oh, we forgot to roll for that,
• 35:43
  Jake. It's your, It's your turd wad.
• 35:45
  Roll a misery. What gets a misery?
• 35:49
  Not that. I got a 2 so oh.
• 35:51
  So close, you fucking guy. Deuce Todd were brushed to the
• 35:55
  veil on his way out. Later, when you reach into your
• 36:00
  pocket, you're going to find some suspiciously shitty beads.
• 36:05
  I really hope I don't. These weren't where I thought
• 36:08
  they. Were.
• 36:09
  They're distinctly not the same kind of shit that everybody else
• 36:13
  was covered. So, damn it, that beautiful
• 36:19
  bastard. I told you it was a good fucking
• 36:23
  dude turd. What?
• 36:26
  What exactly did you leave behind for the surviving party
• 36:29
  members? Well.
• 36:30
  Are you talking about turd mounts?
• 36:33
  Yes, so just a couple of turd bounce and then I don't know,
• 36:36
  maybe there's a fucking turd capsule in there or turd chest
• 36:39
  where they can pick up some weapons from a table.
• 36:43
  It's such a. Weird thing to be a.
• 36:44
  Demigod in Merkborg. I don't know what my laws and
• 36:47
  limits are. Well, gentlemen, I guess Turdwod
• 36:50
  left a couple of fat steaming logs there for you.
• 36:57
  They look like they look like Willy Wonka's elevator.
• 36:59
  Just shit. No Yuck.
• 37:03
  Like you can obviously get into them, I guess.
• 37:05
  I don't know. We had to go to that fucking
• 37:06
  shit temple. It was stupid.
• 37:08
  I guess we we'd go. Up.
• 37:11
  I guess you do. You get inside.
• 37:13
  They just like rise through the ceiling with the three of you
• 37:16
  and carry you up through the earth.
• 37:19
  And after a little while passes and some very smelly darkness,
• 37:23
  you emerge. Oh my God.
• 37:25
  Again, like sprouting up through the ground?
• 37:28
  Up above ground, not too far from the opening of the dusk
• 37:32
  funnel. Yeah.
• 37:33
  Tommy, you've got Dieter under your arm.
• 37:35
  Dieter has a bag of powder in his mouth, so you didn't come
• 37:39
  away from it completely empty handed.
• 37:42
  Quill knock. You escaped.
• 37:43
  That's pretty good. Yeah.
• 37:46
  But at what cost? And we cut back down to the
• 37:50
  Devourer Sanctuary. I guess I'm staying here.
• 37:53
  I only said two. I always.
• 37:57
  Just do down there. Well, kind of smells down here.
• 38:06
  Maybe there's another way out. Hopefully I don't get infected.
• 38:08
  I. Hey everybody, Kevin at the end
• 38:56
  of the episode. This episode features the
• 38:58
  adventures the Dust Funnel by Rubios Cone and the Temple of
• 39:01
  Healing by Thorthevac with Levi playing Sasha, the Sun
• 39:04
  Scorchizzella by Nick Tragijo and Dieter the Powder pig.
• 39:08
  Thomas playing Quillnock the propane Survivor by Jared Barnes
• 39:11
  from the Occult Ossuary, Jake playing Spin, the mutated goblin
• 39:16
  by Heck and Viv and Turdwod the Feculent 1.
• 39:19
  Kevin playing Tommy the shockey Skulker by Tommy Sensenhauer and
• 39:23
  Nate playing Dorian Screed John the narco answered by Brain
• 39:27
  Rack. Check out all these cool things
• 39:28
  and the respective ex livers. More port entries and the
• 39:30
  description accompanying this episode.
• 39:32
  And while you're at it, check us out on our social medias, our
• 39:35
  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky and Thread, and
• 39:39
  wherever you listen to podcasts, make sure to rate, review, and
• 39:43
  share with all of your friends so we can get out there to more
• 39:46
  people. While we're at it, if you
• 39:47
  haven't already, please check out our sister podcast, The
• 39:50
  World Standard. And if you like what they're
• 39:52
  doing over there, think about joining their Patreon.
• 39:54
  It gives you access to their Discord, which you could talk to
• 39:57
  us as well because we're on there.
• 39:58
  And just for $3 a month. With that, thanks for listening
• 40:01
  and we'll catch you guys next time.
• 40:12
  And now you post on it, it's like.
• 40:16
  I was just scared. I was just.
• 40:18
  Gonna tell you, do you say? Piggy or Peggy?
• 40:28
  This is what I'm saying. That's not what I said.
• 40:34
  As he travels his consciousness underneath the earth, there's
• 40:38
  all the people underneath are shitting themselves.
• 40:43
  A sewage line backed up about 3 miles away just explodes and I
• 40:47
  fucking, I reassemble myself and and pass through the mountains
• 40:53
  and into the earth and yeah, it's weird.
• 40:56
  Shit's weird. I told you, Dorian, This is this
• 41:07
  is it. This is horrible.
• 41:10
  You mean you have the sun? There's no sun.
• 41:14
  Stop pretending. Well, I bake and smell a little
• 41:18
  off whenever. That's the problem, the water is
• 41:22
  all shit now. Oh, there's only so much the
• 41:25
  current can take away. I I know, I understand, I am a
• 41:29
  God, but I need somewhere to thrive.
• 41:32
  I left the North End clean. Peasants.
• 41:39
  You cabana boy. Two more cabana boy.
• 41:45
  What do you want? Oh fuck, what do you need?
• 41:52
  Two more shits on the sunset. Fuck.
• 41:54
  You. Right, your mother is a lovely
• 42:01
  lady. And scene.
• 42:05
  Oh my God.