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Growth Spurt: Whose Clock Are You Running On? · The Growth Project

• 0:02
  You.
• 0:03
  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another Growth Spurt, a bite sized version of the Growth project that really aims to help you pursue better and be better.
• 0:11
  I'm Anthony Libra, and today we're going to be discussing the myth of falling behind.
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  Almost everyone who feels as though they're behind is comparing their own timeline to someone else's highlight reel. You know, the entirety of the story of your own path, the detours, the years that took longer than planned, the parts that nobody but you were able to see and actually applaud all of it. But the thing that you're comparing against, you know almost nothing about, you know, almost nothing about the path you were comparing it to.
• 0:44
  What we see are other people's outcomes. What we see are what they're showing us. But you never see the false starts. You never see the restarts, you never see the help or the luck that they had along the way.
• 0:57
  And really, this makes the comparison rigged before it even begins. It's not that you're losing the race, it's that you're running against an edited version of someone else's race on a deadline that you probably never even chose.
• 1:10
  You just inferred.
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  So we have this idea of of borrowed deadlines, right? We like these nice round numbers. I want to have a I want to be promoted by 30. I want to have a house by 32 years old. I want to be saddled and ready to go to the next phase of my life by 40. Oftentimes these feel inherited, these feels inferred, not decided, not objective to ourselves.
• 1:33
  And this comparison is innately human. Unfortunately, there's some research that goes to show us that when there isn't an objective standard that exists, we'll measure ourselves against other people.
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  We search out these relative data points around us. Now, in the social media world,
• 1:49
  this removes the objective standard almost entirely.
• 1:52
  So the word behind when you feel like you're falling behind requires a finish line.
• 1:57
  It ultimately requires you to say your finish line out loud and check, is this my finish line? Or is it someone else's finish line? So when you think about this idea like, okay, am I behind, think about the clock that you're measuring against. So some actionable tips here for you. If you feel as though, hey, I'm, I'm not where I'm supposed to be as of yet, name the comparison that you're currently running in your head, right?
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  What is this specific person you're comparing to? What is the specific thing or task or objective that you're comparing to the timeline that you're running against?
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  Ask yourself whenever you're comparing to
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  what can't you see about their path? The cost, the timing, the support, the luck? What's a little bit more blurred? What's a little bit more censored, if you will, that you're not able to see and evaluate?
• 2:47
  And when you think about your own borrowed deadlines, you think about your own inherited deadlines. Trade that deadline for a direction as opposed to the idea of I should already be there. Reframe this to I'm moving towards this. I'm not there yet. Ultimately, the reflection here is whose clock have you been comparing yourself against to? And what changes if you set your own?