Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #372 Is the Squid for Your Kid?
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
- 0:07Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers, now, why.
- 0:10Speaker 2: Can't we have uplifting art? Why do we have to
- 0:12Speaker 2: have depraved, destruction oriented art that gets into the heads
- 0:16Speaker 2: of our kids so that when they watch a trailer
- 0:18Speaker 2: for something, they can't go to sleep.
- 0:20Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My mom
- 0:23Speaker 1: and dad.
- 0:24Speaker 2: Monday morning, the eleventh of October, we have got lockdowns
- 0:27Speaker 2: being what's the word removed for New South Wales.
- 0:30Speaker 3: Oh, they must be breathing a sigh of.
- 0:33Speaker 2: Relief, one of the longest lockdowns in the world. And wow,
- 0:38Speaker 2: how good must that feel? So that's some good news.
- 0:40Speaker 2: Tragedy occurred over the weekend in our home. I'm saying
- 0:43Speaker 2: tragedy with a smile, that it would so much sorrow
- 0:47Speaker 2: for you. Why don't you share the story? Kylie? Oh,
- 0:49Speaker 2: by the way, I'm justin here with Kylie, founder of
- 0:51Speaker 2: Happy Families dot com. Doda you what happened? What was
- 0:53Speaker 2: so tragic?
- 0:54Speaker 4: Let's just say I tried a new hairdresser. I don't
- 0:59Speaker 4: think I have ever cried so much over a haircut
- 1:03Speaker 4: in my life.
- 1:04Speaker 2: So here's the problem. Right, So you've gone to get
- 1:08Speaker 2: this haircut on Friday, try the new hairdresser. It hasn't
- 1:11Speaker 2: worked very well, and it was obvious that it hadn't
- 1:14Speaker 2: worked very well. As soon as you walked in the door.
- 1:16Speaker 2: I was doing my best to just be like, I
- 1:18Speaker 2: know you're having a hard time. Don't worry about your hair.
- 1:20Speaker 2: It'll grow on you.
- 1:21Speaker 3: Ha ha.
- 1:24Speaker 2: And we were supposed to go out because we both
- 1:26Speaker 2: have celebrated birthdays over the last week. Friday night, We're
- 1:29Speaker 2: going to go out, have the kids all organized. It
- 1:32Speaker 2: was just going to be you and me, romantic dinner,
- 1:34Speaker 2: enjoying one another's company, celebrating all of our years. And
- 1:38Speaker 2: you made me cancel dinner, and you got into bed
- 1:40Speaker 2: in your pajamas and you cried all night.
- 1:42Speaker 3: I did.
- 1:44Speaker 2: That gives you an idea. By the way of the haircut.
- 1:47Speaker 2: When Kylie walked in the door, I was like, I
- 1:49Speaker 2: didn't say it out loud, but I thought to myself
- 1:51Speaker 2: that maybe the worst haircut you've had in the entire
- 1:54Speaker 2: time that I've ever known you.
- 1:55Speaker 3: I just I could not do life. I couldn't even record.
- 1:58Speaker 4: We're recording this lad then we've ever had to record
- 2:01Speaker 4: an episode because I just I was so distraught. Yeah,
- 2:05Speaker 4: let's just say it still is the way it was.
- 2:08Speaker 2: No, no, no, no. You know, when you wake up
- 2:10Speaker 2: the next day after a bad haircut, you wash your hair,
- 2:13Speaker 2: you give it a bit of a in your own way,
- 2:16Speaker 2: and it's gone from being a one out of ten
- 2:17Speaker 2: to being about a six out of ten.
- 2:19Speaker 3: It's still awful.
- 2:20Speaker 2: So we're going to find it still awful to find
- 2:22Speaker 2: another new hairdresser this week.
- 2:24Speaker 3: I can't leave the house. I'm so glad this isn't videoed.
- 2:29Speaker 2: Oh dear me, it's something else that I.
- 2:32Speaker 4: Can't Honestly, I can't believe it, just the impact that
- 2:37Speaker 4: a bad haircut can have on the way you feel.
- 2:40Speaker 4: I've heard people do it, and I couldn't Honestly, I
- 2:43Speaker 4: couldn't understand why it was such a big deal. But
- 2:45Speaker 4: I literally couldn't stop crying.
- 2:48Speaker 2: Because I just need to emphasize, You're not You're not
- 2:50Speaker 2: that shallow, like, you're not superficially oriented. You're pretty relaxed
- 2:53Speaker 2: about I.
- 2:55Speaker 4: Have a five minute routine in the bathroom, like I
- 2:58Speaker 4: just I don't spend time on that stuff.
- 3:00Speaker 3: It's You're not me.
- 3:02Speaker 2: You're not a hair and makeup kind of person.
- 3:05Speaker 4: I just, you know, throw my fingers through my hair,
- 3:07Speaker 4: maybe put a bit of product and I'm done.
- 3:09Speaker 2: But on Saturday morning you woke up and you cried
- 3:12Speaker 2: some more.
- 3:12Speaker 3: I did a lot.
- 3:13Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean it was just so that was
- 3:16Speaker 2: our weekend. Happy for you New South Wales. Still in
- 3:19Speaker 2: morning here in Queensland or Kylie's hair. We did have
- 3:23Speaker 2: one bright moment though, on Sunday morning, as we were
- 3:26Speaker 2: having breakfast, we looked out onto the back deck and
- 3:29Speaker 2: noticed that Emily, our seven year old, was wiping the
- 3:35Speaker 2: dog's bum with some toilet. Parenting is just awesome, isn't it.
- 3:43Speaker 3: I was so proud of her once she done it,
- 3:45Speaker 3: she went.
- 3:47Speaker 2: So proud of it.
- 3:49Speaker 3: What is that?
- 3:50Speaker 2: Gosh? Anyway, we need to talk about something very serious.
- 3:54Speaker 3: So was that not serious enough?
- 3:56Speaker 2: I mean, seriously, your haircut was serious. We have a
- 4:00Speaker 2: lot of correspondence over the last week or so that
- 4:04Speaker 2: sounded just like this. Hi, justin. I was hoping you
- 4:06Speaker 2: could please help families like ours who have kids bombarded
- 4:10Speaker 2: by the TV show Squid Game. It's everywhere. I've told
- 4:14Speaker 2: my seventeen year old son, I don't recommend he watches
- 4:17Speaker 2: it until he's eighteen idearly twenty and my daughter is
- 4:19Speaker 2: ten and she's coming across it online, from seemingly innocent
- 4:22Speaker 2: clips on YouTube to kids copying the various games on
- 4:25Speaker 2: the show. Our daughter and I watched the trailer and
- 4:27Speaker 2: got only a few seconds in and we pulled the pin.
- 4:29Speaker 2: So the daughter's ten here and she couldn't sleep in
- 4:31Speaker 2: her own bed. Her peers are allowed to watch it.
- 4:34Speaker 2: It's sickening. I'd love to have your opinion so that
- 4:36Speaker 2: I could share it around, and I think you'll find
- 4:38Speaker 2: it maybe a pretty darn hot topic. So full disclosure,
- 4:44Speaker 2: You and I, Kylie, we are not the kind of
- 4:48Speaker 2: people who would watch squid Game normally, but we and
- 4:50Speaker 2: we haven't technically watched it. We've given it a look
- 4:54Speaker 2: is how I would describe what we've done with squid Game.
- 4:56Speaker 2: But we've also done a lot of reading about it,
- 4:59Speaker 2: and that, combined with the look, we need to talk
- 5:03Speaker 2: about squid Game and kids.
- 5:05Speaker 4: The first thing that jumped out at me is that
- 5:07Speaker 4: the rating this is an fifteen plus.
- 5:10Speaker 2: I think that it should be R rated, honestly. I
- 5:13Speaker 2: mean so, we were a few minutes into episode one,
- 5:17Speaker 2: and I'm so sorry for anyone who's Squeamish a few
- 5:21Speaker 2: maybe maybe eight minutes into episode one, and there's a
- 5:24Speaker 2: torture scene with a guy. I'm so sorry I'm even
- 5:26Speaker 2: saying this, with a guy who's got a knife up
- 5:29Speaker 2: someone's nose and he's torturing him. And it's just it's
- 5:33Speaker 2: it's depraved. It is utterly depraved. And as I've read
- 5:37Speaker 2: more and as we've skimmed through and looked at it
- 5:39Speaker 2: a little bit more, this is not a show for children,
- 5:42Speaker 2: full stop, end of story. And I really, truly I
- 5:45Speaker 2: can't say this clearly enough. I absolutely, unquestionably would have
- 5:52Speaker 2: to say that a parent who is letting their kids
- 5:55Speaker 2: watch squid Game is not doing their job as a parent.
- 5:59Speaker 4: This is an age problem. Ratings have always I mean,
- 6:03Speaker 4: I remember as a kid, my friends were able to
- 6:05Speaker 4: watch things that my parents would never have let me watch.
- 6:09Speaker 3: And yet as.
- 6:10Speaker 4: We've become parents and we've spent time with our kids,
- 6:13Speaker 4: we've actually let the rating be a guide. But it
- 6:16Speaker 4: still doesn't mean that we let our children watch it
- 6:19Speaker 4: just because it's a PG. And I think that as
- 6:21Speaker 4: parents we really need to take some responsibility.
- 6:23Speaker 3: What are we letting our kids watch?
- 6:25Speaker 4: You know this, parents acknowledged that her kids are being
- 6:28Speaker 4: bombarded by it from every side, and I think as
- 6:31Speaker 4: parents we need to rally together, like it's so important
- 6:33Speaker 4: for our kids to be able to be kids.
- 6:35Speaker 3: Why are we letting them.
- 6:37Speaker 4: Watch these shows that just go against, like I said,
- 6:41Speaker 4: the best of human nature.
- 6:43Speaker 2: They're de praved. There's nothing uplifting, there's nothing redeeming, there's
- 6:46Speaker 2: nothing positive. It's punching down and it's just it's gross.
- 6:51Speaker 2: For those of you who don't know what's good. Game is,
- 6:53Speaker 2: by the way, I don't know where you've been hiding.
- 6:55Speaker 2: It's the number one show on Netflix globally and here
- 6:58Speaker 2: in Australia as well. You can either watch it with
- 7:01Speaker 2: subtitles or you can have it dubbed. We were watching
- 7:03Speaker 2: some of the dubbed stuff and which makes it even
- 7:05Speaker 2: worse to watch. I mean, it's just horrendous to watch
- 7:07Speaker 2: it with the dubbing. And it's kind of like the
- 7:09Speaker 2: Hunger Games, but on steroids. It's really really repulsive. Four
- 7:14Speaker 2: hundred and fifty five people who have got no money
- 7:16Speaker 2: and are desperate for money go into a game literally
- 7:20Speaker 2: it's called squid game, and they play kids' games. But
- 7:22Speaker 2: there's a murderous, deathly twist on every single one, and
- 7:26Speaker 2: if you don't win the game, you're basically you die,
- 7:28Speaker 2: and they die in horrible, horrible ways. I don't understand
- 7:32Speaker 2: the hype. I don't understand why people are into this.
- 7:35Speaker 2: But here's the thing. Our kids are watching it, everyone's
- 7:40Speaker 2: talking about it. We've got we've got Halloween coming up
- 7:44Speaker 2: in a couple of weeks time, and everyone's trying to
- 7:47Speaker 2: get their Squid Game costumes going for that. I mean,
- 7:50Speaker 2: there's the whole conversation about Halloween and Australia anyway, but
- 7:52Speaker 2: that's happening, and we've got parents who are saying, I've
- 7:56Speaker 2: got a ten year old, I've got a nine year old,
- 7:57Speaker 2: I've got an eleven year old. We've banned it, but
- 8:00Speaker 2: our kids' friends are sending them clips. They're playing it
- 8:04Speaker 2: on Roadblocks. There's like there's I think that I read
- 8:07Speaker 2: there's three hundred different Roadblocks games on the Squid Game theme. Like,
- 8:13Speaker 2: this thing is proliferating and going everywhere. If you're in
- 8:16Speaker 2: that situation, you want to know what to do, how
- 8:17Speaker 2: to protect your kids from it, what to do about it.
- 8:20Speaker 2: We're going to talk about that right after the break
- 8:22Speaker 2: it's the Happy Families Podcast.
- 8:25Speaker 4: For a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because
- 8:28Speaker 4: a happy family doesn't just happen.
- 8:31Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au.
- 8:34Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
- 8:37Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers now and today we
- 8:41Speaker 4: are tackling this number one Netflix show.
- 8:45Speaker 2: This number one problem.
- 8:47Speaker 3: Well, that's what I wanted to say.
- 8:48Speaker 2: I don't want to I don't want to sound like
- 8:49Speaker 2: a wowser. I don't want to sound like one of
- 8:50Speaker 2: those people. And all the kids kind of do this stuff.
- 8:52Speaker 2: But this, this is gross, full stop, end of story,
- 8:55Speaker 2: and it just I don't see how it belongs in
- 8:57Speaker 2: a civilized society. I know some people canna say, oh,
- 8:59Speaker 2: it's art. Why can't we have uplifting art? Why do
- 9:03Speaker 2: we have to have depraved, destruction oriented art that gets
- 9:07Speaker 2: into the heads of our kids so that when they
- 9:09Speaker 2: watch a trailer for something, they can't go to sleep
- 9:12Speaker 2: at night.
- 9:13Speaker 4: Before the break, we tapped into the fact that this
- 9:14Speaker 4: is an age old story. Parents have been dealing with
- 9:16Speaker 4: these challenges and with ratings and all kinds of things
- 9:20Speaker 4: and knowing how to protect their children, especially when in
- 9:23Speaker 4: their own, homeless or not able to shelter them for
- 9:26Speaker 4: it in the playground or on their screen. So what
- 9:29Speaker 4: can parents do if they're in that position?
- 9:32Speaker 2: It's really really hard, right, So you can have all
- 9:34Speaker 2: the conversations you like at home, but once the kids
- 9:36Speaker 2: get to school, if they're interested, and if their friends
- 9:37Speaker 2: are interested, and if they're showing their friends stuff on
- 9:40Speaker 2: their devices before school, after school, during school. Obviously for
- 9:44Speaker 2: those who are in lockdown, I'm looking at you Melbourne,
- 9:47Speaker 2: Victoria and the Act, and there's still most New Southwest
- 9:52Speaker 2: kids are still at home anyway, it's probably not going
- 9:54Speaker 2: to be quite as big an issue. But everywhere else
- 9:57Speaker 2: the kids are hanging out with each other, they're being
- 9:59Speaker 2: exposed to it, visiting one another in their homes. This
- 10:01Speaker 2: stuff is going to be everywhere. As a parent, all
- 10:05Speaker 2: you can really do is say, hey, what have you heard?
- 10:08Speaker 2: What do you know? What are your friends talking about?
- 10:10Speaker 2: So that's where you do the explore stuff, and then
- 10:13Speaker 2: you explain, and that's where you get the opportunity to
- 10:16Speaker 2: explain your values. This stuff's gross, or you might even
- 10:19Speaker 2: ask how do you feel about it? Before you talk
- 10:21Speaker 2: about what you think about it. But you want the
- 10:22Speaker 2: kids to be sharing how they feel about it, and
- 10:25Speaker 2: then it's really about impairing them. What do you think
- 10:27Speaker 2: is the best way to respond if someone wants to
- 10:29Speaker 2: show you, I would be talking to the kids about saying,
- 10:34Speaker 2: we can't stop you from looking at it, but we
- 10:36Speaker 2: want to caution you against it. And here's what we
- 10:38Speaker 2: want you to pay attention to. If you do see it,
- 10:40Speaker 2: pay attention to how it makes you feel inside.
- 10:43Speaker 3: That was the exact thing I was thinking.
- 10:46Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so easy for us to just get dragged along,
- 10:48Speaker 4: But if we can teach our kids to have that
- 10:50Speaker 4: internal dialogue and that internal awareness of what they're actually
- 10:56Speaker 4: feeling in any given moment, that becomes their internal compass, right.
- 10:59Speaker 2: Right, And that's what we need to help them to grow.
- 11:01Speaker 2: That's why the explorer explained in Power three Easier Effective
- 11:04Speaker 2: Discipline strategy is so useful. You want them to listen
- 11:08Speaker 2: to their inner voice. When I teach my sessions to
- 11:11Speaker 2: parents and teachers about how to talk about consent with
- 11:15Speaker 2: their kids, this is actually an issue of consent in
- 11:19Speaker 2: because the program will assault your kids. It's precisely what
- 11:24Speaker 2: it will do. It's got horrendous violence in it, and
- 11:26Speaker 2: from what I've read in the reviews, Well, we haven't
- 11:28Speaker 2: seen it this part of it ourselves. It's also quite
- 11:31Speaker 2: sexually explicit from what the reviews are saying, so it
- 11:33Speaker 2: will assault your children, especially your young children. In fact,
- 11:38Speaker 2: with the little bit that we saw, I felt assaulted.
- 11:41Speaker 2: It's just not and I would actually say, our kids
- 11:44Speaker 2: haven't brought it up, but we're going to have a
- 11:45Speaker 2: conversation with them about it once we finished talking about
- 11:47Speaker 2: it on the podcast. I will actually say to our kids,
- 11:50Speaker 2: this is not a program that I would ever look at.
- 11:52Speaker 2: This is not something that I want in my life.
- 11:54Speaker 2: This is not going to edify me. It's not going
- 11:55Speaker 2: to teach me anything. It's not going to help me
- 11:57Speaker 2: to be a better person, and it's not going to
- 11:58Speaker 2: help me to make a positive of difference in the world. Therefore,
- 12:01Speaker 2: I don't want it in my life. It's not useful
- 12:03Speaker 2: in any possible way, and it's not even entertaining. It
- 12:06Speaker 2: just makes me feel gross. But also acknowledge with your kids,
- 12:10Speaker 2: you're still probably going to feel a bit curious about it.
- 12:13Speaker 2: You're still going to want to check it out because
- 12:15Speaker 2: this stuff is intriguing.
- 12:16Speaker 4: Well, we talk a lot in our home about the
- 12:19Speaker 4: fact that force creates resistance. If you just put a blanket,
- 12:22Speaker 4: your band ban on it, your kids are.
- 12:25Speaker 3: Going to be more curious than ever.
- 12:27Speaker 2: And they'll get sneaky because I mean ten and eleven
- 12:29Speaker 2: year olds, they know how to get sneaky.
- 12:31Speaker 4: But we had a conversation last week with Michael Parker,
- 12:34Speaker 4: Oh yes, about how to have important conversations with your
- 12:37Speaker 4: kids that really matter.
- 12:38Speaker 2: And Michael Parker, principle at Newington College in Sydney, wrote
- 12:41Speaker 2: a book called Talk with Your Kids About Things that
- 12:42Speaker 2: Matter How to have these conversations.
- 12:46Speaker 4: I think Michael's going to get a plug just about
- 12:48Speaker 4: every conversation we have because every time people ask questions.
- 12:51Speaker 4: It's really about being able to have these intelligent conversations
- 12:54Speaker 4: with our children where we draw out their values as
- 12:58Speaker 4: we have these conversations and such explore what all this means.
- 13:03Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, I just want to quickly quote as well
- 13:05Speaker 2: from Leoni Smith. She's the cyber safety Lady. You can
- 13:08Speaker 2: follow her on Facebook. Leoni does a really great job
- 13:11Speaker 2: in keeping people up to date with what's going on
- 13:13Speaker 2: as well. And I'm not into roadblocks. Our kids aren't
- 13:15Speaker 2: into rowblocks. But I was looking for some more resources here,
- 13:18Speaker 2: and this is what she said. If you've got kids
- 13:21Speaker 2: who are playing squid games on roadblocks, here's what you
- 13:24Speaker 2: need to know. I was playing one with another thirteen
- 13:26Speaker 2: year old account on the weekend, and I think it
- 13:29Speaker 2: was a bit too scary for any under thirteen year old.
- 13:32Speaker 2: You die several times before you get the hang out
- 13:33Speaker 2: of some of the games being shot off. You get
- 13:36Speaker 2: shot or your fall. I played in the most popular version.
- 13:38Speaker 2: It was pretty scary. And then she edited an updated
- 13:41Speaker 2: and said I played several other versions today and there
- 13:44Speaker 2: were some really scary versions that were way more graphic
- 13:48Speaker 2: and scary than the first one I played. She's taken
- 13:51Speaker 2: some picks and out of them to her Facebook post.
- 13:53Speaker 2: There are over three hundred games on the squid game theme.
- 13:57Speaker 2: It depends on which one your child's playing, and she's
- 14:01Speaker 2: basically just said these games are not for kids, and
- 14:06Speaker 2: don't let your kids play roadblock squid games because it's really,
- 14:09Speaker 2: really gross. So I guess it just comes back to
- 14:12Speaker 2: the whole thing. Parents. We need to monitor what's going on.
- 14:14Speaker 2: We need to ask questions, explore, get curious, not furious,
- 14:19Speaker 2: explain what our expectations are and why let them know
- 14:21Speaker 2: that it's normal to want to know and then empower
- 14:24Speaker 2: them so that they can work out what will they
- 14:26Speaker 2: do when their friends are talking about it.
- 14:29Speaker 3: It's interesting.
- 14:29Speaker 4: We've had this conversation a couple of times now, but
- 14:32Speaker 4: the more we know our children's friends and their families,
- 14:36Speaker 4: the more we get to actually have a say in
- 14:39Speaker 4: the village that we build.
- 14:41Speaker 3: So many times our kids have come home.
- 14:43Speaker 4: And everybody's doing it, and I've gone there's no way
- 14:46Speaker 4: everyone's doing this. And I'll ring one of the parents
- 14:49Speaker 4: and say, hey, my kid's talking about this, what's your
- 14:51Speaker 4: kids doing And they'll be like, oh, no, we don't
- 14:53Speaker 4: do that in our house. And all of a sudden,
- 14:55Speaker 4: I've got an ally, I've got someone that allowed just
- 14:57Speaker 4: gives me permission to feel stronger in my stand and
- 15:01Speaker 4: I think as parents, we need to droll it together. Yeah,
- 15:04Speaker 4: we're worried about all of us are worried about our children,
- 15:06Speaker 4: and if we just you know, kind of look out
- 15:08Speaker 4: for each other and kind of give each other.
- 15:11Speaker 2: The support the backup. Yeah, Yeah, this is tough.
- 15:14Speaker 3: This stuff's tough.
- 15:15Speaker 2: So the village have those conversations. We hope that this
- 15:18Speaker 2: has been a helpful podcast. The village is also good
- 15:20Speaker 2: for other things, like crying when you get a bad haircut.
- 15:22Speaker 4: No, I don't want to feel it when I have
- 15:24Speaker 4: a bad haircut. I need a hat.
- 15:27Speaker 2: I've got to finish that. When we were talking about
- 15:30Speaker 2: whether we were going to cancel Friday night, you basically said,
- 15:32Speaker 2: I will only go out with you if we can
- 15:34Speaker 2: eat in the dark while I'm wearing your hat. And
- 15:36Speaker 2: then you've got an abendan cried. Hey. We hope that
- 15:38Speaker 2: the podcast has been helpful for you, not about haircuts,
- 15:41Speaker 2: not about wiping dogs bumbs with the toilet paper, but
- 15:44Speaker 2: about squid game. Thank you so much for listening. If
- 15:46Speaker 2: you have any questions, you can contact us podcasts at
- 15:49Speaker 2: Happy Families dot com dot au. That's podcasts with an
- 15:53Speaker 2: s at happy Families dot com dot au. The Happy
- 15:56Speaker 2: Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland's from Bridge Media.
- 16:01Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. If you would like
- 16:04Speaker 2: more info about how you can make your family happier,
- 16:07Speaker 2: including checking out our Happy Families memberships, please visit us
- 16:12Speaker 2: on Facebook or our website. Oh and a quicker reminder tonight,
- 16:15Speaker 2: if you have a child with ADHD, we're doing an
- 16:18Speaker 2: adhd Answers webinar It's happening tonight. All the information at
- 16:23Speaker 2: happyfamilies dot com dot au