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Good Quotes to Guide You On Your Journey · Raising Daughters

0:33
Speaker 1: Welcome back friends, Doctor Tim Jordan here with a brand
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Speaker 1: new podcast. I appreciate you stapping by here every week.
0:42
Speaker 1: My podcast today is going to be a little bit different,
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Speaker 1: a little bit shorter, probably than usual. I was looking
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Speaker 1: at some quotes from an old baseball player, Yogi Barra,
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Speaker 1: who is famous for his advice and his quotes, funny
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Speaker 1: ones where you get things a little bit off. And
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Speaker 1: you know, Yogi Berra played for the Yankees and was
1:03
Speaker 1: I think one of the greatest winners of all time.
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Speaker 1: And he was from Saint Louis. He grew up on
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Speaker 1: the Hill, which is kind of nice, which is an
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Speaker 1: an area where Italian people immigrants would come and live
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Speaker 1: in Saint Louis. So I'm gonna start out with some
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Speaker 1: quotes from Yogi. They also think, besides being kind of funny,
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Speaker 1: also have a nice little lesson about life, as a
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Speaker 1: lot of his quotes did. And I'm going to share
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Speaker 1: a handful of quotes at the end. I also think
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Speaker 1: I have a good life lesson for you and your
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Speaker 1: and your children. Let's start with Yogi Berra first. First one,
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Speaker 1: if you don't know where you're going, you might end
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Speaker 1: up someplace else. So I think there's a lesson in
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Speaker 1: that quote, and that in this day and age, I
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Speaker 1: think we're rushing around so fast with so many distractions,
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Speaker 1: so we oftentimes don't take some slow quiet time to
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Speaker 1: know who we are and what we want and what
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Speaker 1: we need. We make decisions sometimes not based on what's
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Speaker 1: in our best interests. So I want Yogi's quote remind
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Speaker 1: us to learn to cultivate quiet alone time where we
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Speaker 1: can learn to check in with ourselves and know what's
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Speaker 1: in our best interests and what we need. Quote number two.
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Speaker 1: When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes you just need to quit ruminating and overthinking things
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Speaker 1: and getting caught up in all the anxiety and all
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Speaker 1: the indecision, and push through your fears and focus on
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Speaker 1: the excitement of what's happening and the excitement of the
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Speaker 1: change instead of focusing on the worst case thing. I
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Speaker 1: see a lot of girls in my accounseling practice who
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Speaker 1: get stuck, paralyzed with taking the fork, with making a
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Speaker 1: decision because they get so caught up in their heads,
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Speaker 1: so caught up in all the negatives, thinking, thinking, They ruminate,
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Speaker 1: and they get caught up in the fear. So sometimes
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Speaker 1: when you come to that fork in the road, and
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Speaker 1: you just need to make a decision. Like with the
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Speaker 1: first quote, you can take some time to get to
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Speaker 1: know what's right for me, but then you just need
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Speaker 1: to sometimes decide and if it ends up being that
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Speaker 1: what you wanted, take another fork. Number three, you can
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Speaker 1: observe a lot by just watching. Isn't that an important
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Speaker 1: quote for this day and age. You can observe a
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Speaker 1: lot by just watching I equieting yourself, trying to let
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Speaker 1: go of all the distractions, all the electronic distractions, and
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Speaker 1: learn and cultivate being fully present. I know how hard
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Speaker 1: is today to do that, but we need to learn
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Speaker 1: how to cultivate our giving things our full attention instead
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Speaker 1: of so many things just getting partial attention. A lot
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Speaker 1: of kids have a hard time with this one, really
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Speaker 1: being present, grounding themselves, being quiet, being observant, being able
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Speaker 1: to tell what their body symptoms, their emotional symptoms, if
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Speaker 1: they're on the right track or not. So you can't
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Speaker 1: observe a lot by just watching. Another one from Yogi
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Speaker 1: Berra it ain't over until it's over, which means, in
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Speaker 1: my mind, don't throw in the towel when things get tough,
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Speaker 1: learn to have patience, stick touitiveness. Sometimes you have to
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Speaker 1: get through the uncertainty before the path clears up. And
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Speaker 1: I think a lot of times people end up not
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Speaker 1: doing that because they get frustrated it's hard, and they
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Speaker 1: haven't learned to get through that hard stuff. They're they're
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Speaker 1: soft in a sense. If you will, so it ain't
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Speaker 1: over till it's over. So keep at it, keep going.
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Speaker 1: There might there are times when maybe it isn't the
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Speaker 1: right path, so you may need to switch swisch, switch paths.
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Speaker 1: But but even so, I don't want kids to give
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Speaker 1: up because things are hard. I think sometimes they've they've
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Speaker 1: been rescued a lot. We overprotect, We do too much
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Speaker 1: for our kids, I think, in a lot of in
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Speaker 1: a lot of ways, and so they haven't learned to
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Speaker 1: to stick to things and push through things and keep
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Speaker 1: going and overcome it and then get that sense of
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Speaker 1: I did it, So it ain't over till it's over.
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Speaker 1: Two more Yogi quotes. Take it with a grin of salt,
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Speaker 1: not a grain of salt, but a grin of salt.
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Speaker 1: In other words, keep your sense of humor. Sometimes all
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Speaker 1: you can do when things are tough is to laugh
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Speaker 1: and then just keep on going. Understand that it's hard,
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Speaker 1: but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Speaker 1: Instead of getting all tight about it and anxious and
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Speaker 1: all that, just smile and just say I know I'm
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Speaker 1: gonna get through this. I've got to experience it in
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Speaker 1: the past if I kept at I will. So I'm
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Speaker 1: going to grin and bear it and do the best
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Speaker 1: I can to keep a good attitude because if I do,
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Speaker 1: it'll make my path much easier. Last Yogi is losing
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Speaker 1: is a learning experience. It teaches you humility. That one
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Speaker 1: actually is pretty straightforward logic from yoga, which is surprising. Losing,
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Speaker 1: making mistakes, frustrations with things, and change can't always be controlled.
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Speaker 1: So you do what you can. You learn the lessons
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Speaker 1: that are there to learn. Whenever you fall down, pick
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Speaker 1: something up. Is another piece of advice that would go
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Speaker 1: along with that. I love that one. Whenever you fall down,
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Speaker 1: pick something up. There's always lessons to learn through the
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Speaker 1: tough times, through losing, through adversities. So to make sure
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Speaker 1: you give yourself the chance in the time to learn
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Speaker 1: the lessons before you move on, otherwise you'll end up
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Speaker 1: probably repeating the same kind of thing and having to
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Speaker 1: learn it again, I do a lot of reading, and
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Speaker 1: so I collect quotes from the books I read, the
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Speaker 1: articles I read, and so I wanted to offer you
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Speaker 1: a few more that have some good life lessons for
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Speaker 1: your parenting and for your children. These are not yoh gibra.
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Speaker 1: They're by other people, mostly authors. The first one was
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Speaker 1: some Paulo Cuello, who wrote the book The Alchemist, which
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Speaker 1: I read a long time ago. His quote is a
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Speaker 1: mistake repeated more than once is a decision. Let me
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Speaker 1: say that again. A mistake repeated more than once is
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Speaker 1: a decision, meaning you probably have not learned from the
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Speaker 1: first mistake, and because of that, you're probably going to
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Speaker 1: repeat it. Like I mentioned just a moment ago, we
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Speaker 1: need to make sure we take the time to learn
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Speaker 1: from our mistakes, otherwise we'll repeat them. And then it
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Speaker 1: becomes a decision that might stick with us. It becomes
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Speaker 1: who we are. It doesn't have to, but oftentimes it does.
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Speaker 1: It becomes part of our thinking. So stop when you
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Speaker 1: make a mistake, when there's a fork on the road,
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Speaker 1: step back, take some quiet time, learn from it, and
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Speaker 1: then then move forward. Here's an interesting one from Gary Rummler.
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Speaker 1: Put a good performer in a bad system, and the
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Speaker 1: system wins every time. I see that there's some kids
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Speaker 1: who are environments that aren't healthy for them but not encouraging,
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Speaker 1: where people don't understand them. I noticed that with kids
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Speaker 1: who have had diagnoses of ADHD, or being on the spectrum,
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Speaker 1: or being frustrated a lot, or easily frustrated, or angry
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Speaker 1: or depressed, anxiety disorders, all kinds of things of that sort.
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Speaker 1: If they're in a place that doesn't understand that, and
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Speaker 1: it is not used to dealing with kids of that sort,
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Speaker 1: it's going to make things a lot worse. Put a
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Speaker 1: performer in a bad system, and the system wins every time.
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Speaker 1: It can wear a kid down, it can wear adults down.
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Speaker 1: If you're a job in a workplace which is not nurturing,
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Speaker 1: it is not meeting your knees, it'll wear you down. Also,
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Speaker 1: I think even more so for kids they haven't built
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Speaker 1: up some of the resilience that hopefully we have through
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Speaker 1: our life lessons. We need to get kids in environments
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Speaker 1: that gives them the best chance to succeed, just the
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Speaker 1: best chance to learn, an environment that's nurturing, loving, an
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Speaker 1: environment where the people there get your kid, understand them,
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Speaker 1: accept them, love them for who they are, and support
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Speaker 1: them in all the ways that they need to be supported.
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Speaker 1: That way, your child will win every time. Here's another quote.
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Speaker 1: If you're looking for closure, the lack of respect was
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Speaker 1: the closure. This is going to go on for just
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Speaker 1: a moment. There's like three points to this one. This
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Speaker 1: is about relationships. If you're looking for closure, the lack
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Speaker 1: of respect was closure. The lack of an apology was
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Speaker 1: the closure. The lack of care, accountability and honesty, that
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Speaker 1: was the closure. Sometimes, if you're in a relationship that's
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Speaker 1: not working, a friendship that's not working, sometimes you need
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Speaker 1: to step back from all of it, be honest with
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Speaker 1: yourself and then leave the relationship, leave the friendship if
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Speaker 1: it's not working for you. And sometimes it won't be
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Speaker 1: them coming to you and saying I'm done with you.
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Speaker 1: It's just about you looking at yourself, how you're feeling
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Speaker 1: about being treated, the way you're being treated, and if
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Speaker 1: you're looking for closure, those kinds of things, lack of respect,
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Speaker 1: lack of an apology, lack of care, accountability, honesty, those
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Speaker 1: are things that are telling you that other person is
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Speaker 1: not right for me. I need to close the door.
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Speaker 1: There's another one. Everyone in your life is meant to
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Speaker 1: be in your journey, but not all of them are
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Speaker 1: meant to stay until the end. You need to let
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Speaker 1: some people go. We don't always have control over who
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Speaker 1: comes into our lives. You don't have control over who's
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Speaker 1: in your class at school, you don't have control over
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Speaker 1: oftentimes who's in your workspace. I mean, you can leave
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Speaker 1: and get another job. But a lot of people come
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Speaker 1: into our lives that we don't have control over, and
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Speaker 1: so in a sense, they're meant to be there for
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Speaker 1: some reason. They may have lessons for us to learn,
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Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean you have to stay with them
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Speaker 1: for the rest of your journey. Just because they're part
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Speaker 1: of it for a little while doesn't mean they're there
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Speaker 1: for the duration. Sometimes we need to let friends go,
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Speaker 1: people go, jobs go, and move on because they're not
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Speaker 1: supporting us in the way we deserve to be supported.
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Speaker 1: Here's another one that kind of relates. You can forgive
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Speaker 1: people without welcoming them back into your life. Apology accepted,
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Speaker 1: accessed denied. When you forgive people for things they've done
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Speaker 1: to you, for not being there for you, treating you badly,
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Speaker 1: you can forgive them, but the Forgiveness in a sense
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Speaker 1: is not necessarily necessarily for them, it's for you. Forgiveness
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Speaker 1: is for you to let go of any negative feelings
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Speaker 1: you have that might bring you down, make you angry,
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Speaker 1: make you frustrate. You're letting go of that as opposed
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Speaker 1: to letting them go or letting them off the hook.
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Speaker 1: You can forgive them. You can move on from the
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Speaker 1: emotions and also move on from that person. I think
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Speaker 1: that's healthy. Sometimes we feel like we need to give
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Speaker 1: people third, fourth, fifth, eight chances, when sometimes they don't
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Speaker 1: deserve it, and they don't change, and so the way
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Speaker 1: they treat you doesn't change either. Not everyone likes me,
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Speaker 1: but not everyone matters. Oh, not everyone likes me, but
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Speaker 1: not everyone matters, Meaning make sure you're surrounding yourself with
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Speaker 1: positive people who love you, who understand you, who care
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Speaker 1: about you, and let the other people be. You can't
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Speaker 1: always get everyone to know who you are, understand you,
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Speaker 1: appreciate you, like you. But it doesn't mean you have
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Speaker 1: to hang around and be mistreated. Not everyone may like you,
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Speaker 1: but not everyone matters enough to stick around. You need
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Speaker 1: to set boundaries and move on. Here's another one. Never
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Speaker 1: give your negative self talk a ride because it will
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Speaker 1: always want the rains. Let me say that again. It
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Speaker 1: is so important never give your negative self talk a ride,
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Speaker 1: because it will always want the rains. Your negative self talk,
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Speaker 1: if you allow it, can take you over, It can
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Speaker 1: overwhelm you. You need to learn to recognize it when
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Speaker 1: it pops up, learn to let it go, to switch it,
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Speaker 1: because if you don't will it will take the rains
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Speaker 1: and it will drive you. It'll control your life, it'll
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Speaker 1: overwhelm you. So we're always in control of when it
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Speaker 1: pops up on our heads, but we're always in control
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Speaker 1: from that moment forward what we do with it. So
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Speaker 1: we can let it overwhelm us, take the reins and
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Speaker 1: all that, or we can learn how to recognize it
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Speaker 1: and let it go. I have two more quotes. They're
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Speaker 1: a little bit naughty. So this is the point where
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Speaker 1: you need to listen to this, so you don't let
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Speaker 1: your kids listen to it. But I thought they were
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Speaker 1: funny and poignant. First one is interesting. Second one is
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Speaker 1: just funny, and then we'll be over. First one says,
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Speaker 1: bees don't waste their time explaining to flies why honey
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Speaker 1: is better than shit. Bees don't waste their time explaining
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Speaker 1: to flies why honey is better than yes word. Some
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Speaker 1: people in your life will never get you understand you
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Speaker 1: understand your decisions and your life path, but you have
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Speaker 1: to remind yourself that they're not you and it's not
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Speaker 1: their path, and that's okay. My parents had a hard
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Speaker 1: time with my decision to kind of leave the traditional
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Speaker 1: medical system. You know, my first training was as a
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Speaker 1: peace the autrician. I did the fellowship training and developmental
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Speaker 1: and behavioral pediatrics and that was okay. But I did
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Speaker 1: my private practice for three years in general pets. I
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Speaker 1: decided it wasn't for me, so I decided to stop
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Speaker 1: doing that and start my counseling practice. And this was
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Speaker 1: thirty something years ago, started doing the summer camp, started
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Speaker 1: giving talks all over the place. My parents had a
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Speaker 1: hard time. I remembered them saying one time, don't you
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Speaker 1: want to be a doctor, And so I had to
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Speaker 1: say to them, I'm still a doctor. I'm I'm just
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Speaker 1: using it in a different way. And they never quite
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Speaker 1: understood it because I put so much time and energy
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Speaker 1: and money into my medical training. But it's okay that
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Speaker 1: they didn't understand because it wasn't their life and I
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Speaker 1: had taken the time to recognize what I wanted and
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Speaker 1: what I needed. So don't judge people who don't get you.
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Speaker 1: It's okay. Everybody's not going to get you. Recognize that
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Speaker 1: they're trying to be helpful, but trust yourself. I really
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Speaker 1: did appreciate my parents. It's caring enough about me to
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Speaker 1: be honest with me. But I had to follow my gut.
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Speaker 1: I had to follow my heart. So just like the bees,
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Speaker 1: sometimes you don't need to waste your time trying to
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Speaker 1: explain yourself because it's okay. But if they don't get it,
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Speaker 1: they're just not going to get it because it's not
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Speaker 1: their experience and it's not their life. And that's okay.
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Speaker 1: That's okay. Last quote. I'm just going to say the
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Speaker 1: quote and then we'll stop for the day. It says this,
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Speaker 1: of course, life is a bitch. If your life was
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Speaker 1: a slut, it would be easy. I don't know why
16:36
Speaker 1: that one struck me. It's being so funny. So life
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Speaker 1: isn't always easy. Doesn't mean life has to be hard,
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Speaker 1: but times things happen. Life happens. There's some things that
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Speaker 1: are beyond our control, so we do our best to
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Speaker 1: get through those times and understand that we have the
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Speaker 1: ability to make changes and let go of people, let
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Speaker 1: go of situations, some of the things we've talked about
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Speaker 1: with these previous quotes. So use these quotes hopefully to
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Speaker 1: guide you. I hope that they were worthwhile and I
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Speaker 1: hope that was helpful. I will, I will. I guess
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Speaker 1: maybe I should put some of these quotes in my
17:18
Speaker 1: show notes, so if you want to find them, I'll
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Speaker 1: have those for you, and so you can write them
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Speaker 1: down and pick up the ones that fit for you
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Speaker 1: that you want to remember. It's nice to begin the
17:31
Speaker 1: year to have sometimes have quotes and things you know
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Speaker 1: and copy them and put in places to remind you
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Speaker 1: of things that you want to do different, a new
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Speaker 1: thought pattern, a new life life pattern. So maybe if
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Speaker 1: you would like, you can use these quotes to help
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Speaker 1: in that way. I'll be back here in a week
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Speaker 1: with the brand new podcast. Check out the show notes
17:49
Speaker 1: at there at my website at www dot d r
17:53
Speaker 1: Tim Jordan dot com as they always are. That's always helpful.
17:57
Speaker 1: Plus everything that I do is on that website. We
18:00
Speaker 1: have camps that we can retreat, camps that will be
18:02
Speaker 1: coming up this spring. The first one is in February.
18:05
Speaker 1: There's one in April one in May, so you can
18:07
Speaker 1: check the dates on those. Thank you so much for
18:10
Speaker 1: stopping by and listening to these. I really do appreciate it,
18:13
Speaker 1: and I always appreciate you passing them on. I'll be
18:16
Speaker 1: back here with the brand new podcast a brand new
18:18
Speaker 1: topic in a week. Thanks so much for stopping by.