Latest / How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva / A Midlife Awakening, Not a Crisis, with Wendy Valentine

Transcript

A Midlife Awakening, Not a Crisis, with Wendy Valentine · How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Would you ever leave your job and sell your house
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: all to travel across the country, living from one campground
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: to the next. Well, that's what my Next Guest did
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: and wrote a book and launched a podcast. My Next
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Guest talks about the midlife makeover and r V named
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Felisia and whether it's a midlife crisis or an awakening?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: How Are Can It Be? Welcome to this episode of
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: How Hard Can It Be?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: A podcast for gen X women navigating midlife's most fantastic bullshit.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I am your host, Diana Maddie Riva, and today we
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: are getting a makeover who doesn't like a makeover? And
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: we have the best and loveliest guest for that. Her
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: name Well, first of all, I'll tell you her book.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Her book is called Women Waking Up the Midlife Manifesto
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: for Passion, Purpose and Play, and she's also the host
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: of her own podcast called The Midlife Makeover Show.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Please help Me. Welcome Wendy Valentine.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: You that is awesome so all the way, I'm in Portugal,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: honored to be here and congrats on your news show.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I know you're going to be the best host ever,
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: the hostess of the Mostess.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for that offer me.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm the guests on the show, thank you
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: for that affirmation I will receive. But I first, I
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: thank you very much for being here. And I first
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: need to ask you are tuning in to us from Portugal.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, I am on the island of Madera, Portugal, so
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: you have to like kind of zoom in on the
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: map like a lot to find me.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I'm thrill you're here. This is what you need to
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: be prepared for.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: The book is marked, it's highlight, and I brought my
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: notebook because this is a this is a workbook, but
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: a fabulous one, and we could do three episodes on
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: this book, so I really want to do it some justice.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I like to start with an icebreaker called oh shit
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: is this midlife? That's my first thing. But I kind
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: of feel like your oh shit is this midlife? Was
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: indicated in like page four of your book, and you.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: Talk about how it right into it you did.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: But I love that because you grab the women from
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: this chapter, the you know of life by that, So
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: dive in for a minute, because the impetus for this
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: book and the impetus for this for how you next
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: began to navigate and make over. This chapter in your
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: life started with this. Oh shit, there were three d's.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, death, divorce, disease, depression, you name it.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: I were flooring for it, So I'll take you back.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I was probably about I think forty six years old,
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: and up to that point I had only heard of
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: a midlife crisis. But I was definitely right smack dab
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: in the middle of it because my whole life unraveled.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: I was going through my second divorce with an empty nest,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: I was unemployed, one hundred and fifty grand in debt.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: My body was completely breaking down from black mold toxicity,
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: chronic line disease, and the good old menopause.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: As we all, we all need to trifected my life.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: You had to trifected within about a six week period.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: I'm starting to sound like an old country song. But
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: my dog died, my cat died, and then my brother died.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: So needless to say, I went into a major depression,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: suffered from anxiety and panic attacks.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: Until I had.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: This crazy, crazy, out of the blue vision in the
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: darkest night of my soul.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: And I think most people like, oh, you see God
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: in moments like this, but me I saw an RV,
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: an RV.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: And I literally, yeah, I had this wild vision of
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: me driving an RV across the country and.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: It was so nuts.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: But I'll tell you what, for the first time in
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: a long time, I was actually excited about something, And
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: I really tried this dream on for size, if you will,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: and I imagine what the RV would look like down
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: from it being black with blue stripes and a diesel
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: engine and and.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: You know, I mean, this wasn't gonna be Uncle Bob's.
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: You know, I think the.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Best part of it is that the best part is
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: that you called your RV Felicia.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, as in Baslesha.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I got that, and I thought it was brilliant.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: But you know what, though, I think what excited me
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: most about this RV dream it wasn't the RV. It
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: wasn't driving off into the Sedona sunset. It was actually
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: the woman in the driver's seat, and not just on
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: the RV, but of her life. And I imagine a
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: woman that was happy and healthy and financially free, and
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: a woman that finally finally followed her dream. This part
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: always makes me want to cry. Of becoming an author
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: and an inspirational speaker, and that is what excited me
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: the most about this crazy, out of the blue vision.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: And you know, it's interesting how we can have these
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: moments of excitement and inspiration and we ourselves actually knock
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: that dream down and very quickly the inner critic had
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: said to me, you know what makes you think that
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: you can make this dream come true?
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: You let your whole life fall apart.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, I just heard so much negativity following this dream.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: But then I realized that I was at a crossroads
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: of my life where either a I could take the
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: one road the woman that I had been and which
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I'll admit was kind of familiar misery and staying.
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: Stuck actually felt kind of safe.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Or I could choose this new road and chase this wild,
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: scary dream and become the woman that I truly wanted
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: to be. And I realized that no matter which road
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: that I decided to take, it would.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: Require a ton of effort.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: So I thought, we'll shoot, I might as well choose
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: the road less traveled and actually choose the one that
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: leads to the woman that I want to be.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I did love how you use that analogy that
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: both are going to take energy you sustaining a life
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: that wasn't sustainable and satisfying and quality of what you
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: wanted was going to take energy out surviving that or
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the energy that you spend trying to get that life
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: that is sustainable and fulfilling and gratifying at the same
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: time that we don't recognize we don't recognize I think
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: oftentimes that both are going to take equal energy. So
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: which one do you want to spend the one that
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: brings you down or the energy that brings you down
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: to the energy that brings you up. And I love
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: that you from the very beginning when you say it
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: wasn't it's not a midlife crisis. It was an awakening
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: and deciding to leave Chicago and leave your remote job
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: when when you had things in order and get it
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: an R and V and call it Felicia and start
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: driving around the country when developing your your writing your
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: book and developing your podcast. That is an awakening. That's
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: nice your normal, Like a lot of awakenings can be,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: like I want to play pickleball, I don't know how
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: to play pickleball. I want a new hobby. I know
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: that when when when COVID hit, it was a time
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: for a lot of society to sit back and reflect
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: on their lives. What's missing, what do they have that
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: they took for granted?
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Whatever?
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: And I know during that time I was it became
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I became very well aware that I didn't have hobbies,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: and I loved how I jumped right into your book.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: And you have this wheel of midlife and you divide
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: it like a pie. Okay, it's like eight pieces of
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: pie here no visit for like. Yeah, so you have family, finance, health, career, friends, love,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: and leisure, and there's a graph from one to ten,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: and you tell your reader to go through and mark
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: where you are as far as satisfied with family, finance, health, career, friends, love,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and leisure.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: You want to know what my lowest and my highest were.
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: I want to.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Guess, well, based on what you just said, I want
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: to maybe it was leisure because you were saying about hobbies, okay,
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: one of them out there and playing enough, right, you.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Were right, You are correct. That's tie on a three
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: with the number three from one to ten. It was
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: a three ten being best and health. And it's because
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: of the amount of time that I don't give my health.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: But you know what's really high. All the things that
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: require me to give to other people or other things,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: the family and love and friends and even career is
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: up there, all the things that require for me to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: give them myself. And I feel like you just come
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: and you see where you are on this graph on
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: these things just mapped out visually. Is an eye opener.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: It is and I and one thing to point. It's like,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: it's where you're at at that moment in your life.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: And what's really cool though, as you concentrate on one
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: of those little triangles, the pieces of the pie, When
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: you concentrate on one area, it spills over. The benefits
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: spill over into the other areas of your life. Right,
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: So as you improve in your leisure and you get
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: out there and you play pick a ball and you're
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: having fun, you notice that your health is improving, and
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: then it also kind of again spills over into the
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: other areas of your life. I think many of us
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: we get so overwhelmed, and it's paralysis by analysis. We
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: end up not starting because we're like, oh my god,
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: there's so much for me to do. Right, But if
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: you just take one step, you'll find that it leads
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: you to the next one, and the next and the next.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: I mean look at me, Like my whole.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Life, I was like under a two I think on
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: every single one of those.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: And the first thing I had to do was to
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: get a job, right.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: But as I did that, everything just continued and it
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: just followed. And it took me less than not that
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: it's a race, but it took me less than two
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: years to actually recover physically and financially and spiritually and emotionally.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: But I was so determined.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Like as they say, there's a termine yoga, it's called drishtie, right,
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: So if you're doing a tree pose and you're focusing
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: on a dot on the wall so that you don't,
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: you know, lose your balance and fall. My drishtie was
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: that woman sitting in the driver's seat driving off to
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: malagu California in her RV, Like that was my goal.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: And so if you focused on that, and the laser
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: focused on who you want to be. And I think
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: that's the main thing, especially for us women. It's like
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: as we get into our forties and fifties, just like
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: you said, we're taking care of everybody else, Yep, we
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: put ourselves on the back burner and then we get
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: into midlife, we're like, wait, what, who am I right?
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: But we have a tendency that we focus too much
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: on the what, when, where, why, and how?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Forget about the most important element of them all, it's
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: the who. And for me, Wow, I asked myself the
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: most important question I think that every single human being
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: should ask of themselves, and that is who do I
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: want to be?
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: And you know what I love about that is that you.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: It's not like you didn't leave the house in your
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: RV once you already had the podcast launched and the
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: book written, but you had been taking steps.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Because this is what I love about you.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: What you said, How could I shift so dramatically from
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: a state of misery to a state of joy?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: The answer lay in three powerful words.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Act as if I had to act, as if my
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: future self, the brave, bold and badass woman I aspired to.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Be, was already here.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: And you started taking those steps that at least got
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: you to a point where you recuperated money and you
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: could pay off your debt and you could get your RV,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: which sat in you in your friend's parking lot for
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: a minute while you got the rest of the stuff ready.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: And then the day came where it was time for
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: you to turn the key, even though you didn't have
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the rest of it necessarily figured out, like where you
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: would go first?
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, and you know what, I know you can probably
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: appreciate this, but so I remember my aunt Annie actually.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: Told me during this time.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: She's like, darling, you've always wanted to be an actress,
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: so why don't you just act like the woman you
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: want to become?
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: Oh? Wow, we love aunt Annie genius.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, so I did.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: I literally I sat and I journaled and envisioned and
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: created this woman, like the woman that's sitting in front
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: of you right now.
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: I designed her.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: How would she move her body, how does she show up,
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: how does she walk into her room?
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: How does she eat? How does she sleep?
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Like every single detail, because I realized that, Yes, it's
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: like we've heard the you create your thoughts, Your thoughts
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: create your life, right, But it's true and it all
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: goes back to how you think and how you believe.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: And I think one.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: Thing that really happens, especially as we hit our forties
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: and fifties, we don't know who we are because we've
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: adopted everyone else's thoughts and beliefs and that goes back
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: to childhood, right, and you start to kind of question
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: like is that what I really think?
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Like is that really what I believe? Right?
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And you know, according to It's Brownie where the top
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: five regrets of the dying and the number one regret
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: is living life for everybody else?
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: Wow? And I remember when I read that.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: And I thought, oh my gosh, I don't want to
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: have that regret. I want to when when I'm taking
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: my last breath. It's like, Okay, I lived life for me,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: which this was also living life for everyone else?
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: Really, right, I mean it's true.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: Right, you love yourself, you can love others more.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: You talk about when you were there and.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: There was like a real moment of that clarity that
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: came to you when you experienced those losses, and you said,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: it wasn't just the difficulty of the unanswered questions, but
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: the unanswered grief. As a single mom of two boys,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: working three jobs to make ends meet, I never gave
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: myself the chance to grief. So that woman that you
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: were just talking about, the go go go living for
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: everyone else, living to serve everyone else, You didn't even
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: give yourself an opportunity to grieve with that which I
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: think women do.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: It was always go, go go.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I had to be a strong woman and mother, so
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: stopping to cry was not an option. I shoved every
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: tear and fear so deeply down into my soul that
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: they disappeared, or so I thought. And what's beautiful about
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: that is it choked me up because I remember in
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: my single parenting days, which I had for many many
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: years in a town where I didn't have family, and
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I am close to my family, but they didn't live there.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking to myself, I am in the ocean,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: and I have a child here and a child here,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: and I have weights on my feet of responsibilities or
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: whatever they are, and I am treading water trying to
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: keep everybody up, and if I get tired and relaxed,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: we're all going down.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: And that's not sustainable.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're exactly right.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think it's a matter of finding that
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: happy medium.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: Where As a matter of fact, my dad just passed
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: away a few weeks ago, thank you.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: And it's interesting, like I even reread The Master Yourself,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: which is the very last step of my book.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: I'm even using my own teachings. Right.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: It's good, Yeah, but it's true because like, no matter what,
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: your shit's gonna hit the fan, and there are You're
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: going to have problems in life no matter what. Right
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: especially I think at the stage in life or we
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: have the empty nest or career changes, our body is changing,
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: our parents are aging, and our parents are passing away,
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: and you have to face that. And I think for
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: the first time of my life, actually when I had
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: something so traumatic happened to me that my dad died.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: When I got back.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: To Portugal, I was like, you know what, I had
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: twenty twenty twenty five interviews lined up in the next week,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: and I was like, no, we're not doing them now.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: We're the old Wendy would have been like, I have
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: to do it.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: I have to show up for every single thing, and
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: everyone will be so mad at me.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: I was like, no, I'm just gonna rest, That's right.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: And so I think there is that.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Happy medium of being able to to still go on
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: in your life and do the things that you need
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: to do, but there's a priority. There's certain things where
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: I kind of think of it as like putting it
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: up on a shelf. I'm gonna put this up on
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: the shelf for now. I'll get to that later, and
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: you can always take that off the shelf and then
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: address it. But grief, Yeah, it's one of those things
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: that if you try to just put it under the rug,
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: it's gonna come back up to the surface, especially if
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: you get hit with another loss and then it's all
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: just comes up, which is what happened to me.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: And I think that sometimes even for women especially. I'm
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: really big about this discussion with gen X women because we,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: as I read once, I love this phrase, we are
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: the regents of resourcefulness, and so we've always found a
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: way to get through and get to it, whether it's grief,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: whether it's job loss, whether it's your child going through this,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: that or the other. Which, by the way, they don't
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: quit going through things once they turn eighteen. They have
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: things in their young adult lives that they come back
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: to us with and whatnot, and that's the way we
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: want it to be.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: We want them to come to us.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: But all of those things lead us to you know,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: we're on that treadmill or that hamster wheel really of
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: just keep going and going and going, and we don't
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: realize that we can shelf things.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: We can.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: You know, you talk about mapping it out so you
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: go through that wheel and you start mapping out you
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: have wonderful questions in here. But by the way, like
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I wrote in it, I started writing my answers about what.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: I wanted, what I want to do.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: You take all those categories of that wheel, and you
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: had questions for each category and say, what do you
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: want to achieve with this in your family or what
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: do you want to approve with this in your prices?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: And I'm running down all my answers, but then I
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: can hear this clock in my head saying, hurry up.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: You have to achieve this with your financeers, you have
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: to achieve this with your family, you have to cheat
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: this with your health, whatever, because of whatever, that clock
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: that has been ticking since the minute. You know, we
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: hit the ground running and we were made responsible to ourselves.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: And I feel that can get in the way of
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: feeling of this makeover. You holding your own feet over
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: the fire, hearing this clock and thinking not to confuse
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: this wheel for a checklist and a checklist with the
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: timeline is was what I took away from it.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know it too.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I mean when you talk about that one chapter map
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: out your midlife dream, Yeah, we need to dream again.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: We forget to dream. We're so busy with the.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: Usual checklist of every single day that we forget about
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: the bigger picture and the things that we could go
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: after in life.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: And you know it too.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: It's like there's new dreams that come about when you
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: stop to ask yourself those questions, right. I mean for me,
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: it was like, oh, wow, all the birdies are out
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: of the nest, Like I could take off in an RV,
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: or I could go live in Portugal, or I could
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: actually create the career that I want.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: I don't need to ask anyone like is this okay
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: with you? Yeah?
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: So there's new dreams that come about that are different
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: than in your twenties and the parties, right, because in
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: those stages you're checking off all the boxes the kid's career, marriage, house,
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: and the burbs. And but yes, you get to this
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: stage and life has changed around you, right, and so
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: you almost have to catch yourself up with it and go, Okay,
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: what do I want and who do I want to be?
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: It's a continuous question, is it want to be as
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: you go into this next chapter?
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, he's a continuous question, and it's a renegotiable contract
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: with self as it goes. So I want to just
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: kind of give this overview too. You got yourself, you
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: started mapping out your life, and you started acting as
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: if and you started taking the small steps, and that
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: got you to a point like I don't want to
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: give away the whole book, but it's just I want
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: to show how this workbook that you've created, in this book,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: you used alongside your story. So you end up you
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: get your RV, you get Felicia, and she's ready to go.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: She sits in your friend's driveway for a minute because
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: that's where you can park it, and you're hesitating the
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: night before the story with your friend helping you. You
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: couldn't fit everything you wanted in your RVY, and I
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: started laughing.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, but I want to take my plates.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: And I want to take my damn cake pans, your
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: cake pants.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: I was in.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: She's like, do you need nine? And You're like, what
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: do I make a cake?
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Because she's like, sweetheart, you're not gonna be baking a
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: cake on the road. And I just loved that our
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: friends who are our girls who come in and they're
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: that voice of reason. I'm like, you don't need cake
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: pants and you finally go the next day. You leave
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: the next day. You don't know where exactly you're going
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: to go, but you're going to the Southwest and you
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: head there, and it immediately.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Starts to feel like it's coming to life.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Even though your book isn't written yet and your podcast
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: hasn't completely launched, but it's moving. The RV and the finances,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: the debt, you got it cleared and you are moving.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: And now your first night sleeping under the stars was
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: just did you take that moment to celebrate that win?
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: I did?
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: I It was kind of like a pinched me type
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: of mom like, oh my god, is this really happening?
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: You know, did I actually do this?
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: And just be in the moment and just enjoy it,
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: enjoy the victory. And it's it's still such a crazy
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: wild experience. I mean, even as many shows as I've
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: been on and they'll read my bio and I'm like,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: who is who was?
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: That? One's so wild? Though.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that you continue to impress yourself with your accomplishment,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: like it's a renewed impression, which is great because you
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: did you know, you you got there and you it
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: started indicating what your next step would be doing and
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: accomplishing the next thing. Like you you mentioned about detaching,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: and that's a big one, detaching from tomorrow and not
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: getting so codependent to that perceived outcome, because I do
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: believe some of the simplest and best advice I ever
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: got when I I know, when I was at a
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: crossroad to stay with my.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Divorce, I knew it was what I needed to do.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't know when, and I had, you know, a
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: dear friend of mine say, you know, detached from the
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: schedule from which was tomorrow. You'll know when you know
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: the next indicated step will indicate to you what to
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: do next.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: And she was right.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: It came about and I knew when I knew, And
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: it wasn't something like it wasn't the day where the
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: heavens parted and the Lord said to me. Now, it
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: was one quiet moment. I'm like, scene it's seen and
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: it was so peaceful.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say, I think that's when you like
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: really start to trust yourself more right. I mean, I think,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: especially as women, we don't give ourselves enough credit. We
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: don't realize how wise we are.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Yes, especially It's like at this age, like we we
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: are very wise and we know.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, the beauty about being at this age is
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: that you know what you'll like and you know what
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: you don't like. That's what you learned in the first
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: few decades of life. And you're still young enough to
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: do something about it. Yes, I mean, I don't know about.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: You, but I see so many women in their forties
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: and fifties just killing it, just like doing so. I mean,
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: look at you, You're starting a new show, like, there's
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: so many.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Things that we can do now, and I just it's
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: such a magical time in our lives right now. I mean,
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: that's why I name the book Women Waking Up, because
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: I don't want us to be walking. I don't want
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: us to be in a coma, right. I want you
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: to wake up and actually be your greatest self. And
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: I want the world to be like, oh my god,
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: check out these women like to think.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Also, and you know what else you do?
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Though, I that I also thought was really pivotal on
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: important we can go on a journey. Maybe it's not
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: the RV for this woman, it's something else. Like my
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: bestie Tina, who I do the happy hours with Tina
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: here on the show, she she sold her her driving
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: school business of thirty something years recently because it was
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: it was depleting her of the quality of life that
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: she wanted, and she did it in a way that
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: made sense to her. And now she gives twenty dollars
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: facials in the little spa that she created upstairs in
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: her house, and she's happy, happier than a pig and shit,
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: and she's so fulfilled. But it didn't mean along the
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: way when she was taking those small steps and acting
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: as if I'm going to sell this business, it's going
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: to be that that's going to be a fruition, and
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: then I'm gonna start doing twenty dollars facials upstairs in
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: my son's emptiness, you know, renovated room. There weren't curveballs.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: She would have business deals that were elevating and then
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: they would just fall through, and it didn't deter her.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: But you talk about that about giving yourself grace that
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: mistakes will happen or things will come up, And you
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: talk about one day where you were starting to get
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: traction online with your social media and somebody, some trolls,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: said some bullshit and it upsets you so greatly that
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: you're here, you're on a hammock somewhere in the southwest
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Santa Fe. It's gorgeous, I'm sure, and you're enjoying it
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: all and it's peaceful in love and you're embraced in nature.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: And some motherfucker right, some dumb shit on social media,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: and I get it.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I get it one somebody. It doesn't even have to
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: be on social media.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: You can be at work, you could be at a restaurant,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: you could be somewhere and somebody says one tiny little
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: thing that's just so unkind and it doesn't even have
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: to come out with that much vigor, and it destroys
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: you for the day. And you found yourself crying under
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: the stars, even with Felicia there, and the podcast is
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: forming and your book is coming together, and you still
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: have those moments when you're when we're when we're achieving
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: and we're taking those steps, you still have those moments.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And you know what, It's so funny. I was
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: talking about this earlier with someone. It's we all get
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: triggered race, but and you will continue to get triggered
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: in life sometimes or the same thing. But as you
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: as you really approach it and you tackle that, you'll
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: find that those triggers they don't they don't grab hold
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: of you like they used to.
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: And I remember, in that moment, like laying in that hammock,
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: I was so pissed. I was more pissed that I
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: allowed this.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: Person to take me out of this wonderful, blissful moment
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: that I was having that I worked so hard for.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: And I just remember thinking, no, huhuh, we're not doing this.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: And you know, it's just like in chapter three about
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: becoming your own BFF.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Right, Yes, I love that becoming your.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: Mind is either your best friend or your worst enemy,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: and whicheverone that you choose is the one that leads
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: your life. Right, So when you get triggered, tap into it,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Tap into those emotions and be okay with Like, you know,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I'm a little pissed, like or I'm sad, or I'm
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: really depressed, or I'm feeling anxiety.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: You're a human being being human, we all are, right.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: You're built with emotions for a reason, and I like
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: to think of emotions as energy.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: Emotion.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: Don't let those emotions just sit there and get stagnant, right,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: You want it to flow through, You want it to
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: be dynamic and be okay with whatever you're feeling and
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: just go, you know what, man, that really pissed me off.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: And then know that you have a choice to elevate
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: that emotion.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: And because you have control over your mind, your heart,
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: your soul, your emotions, and it's not like you're going
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: to go from a massive depression to you know, absolute bliss,
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: but just turning up.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: The dial a little bit to feel a little bit better.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: And it's by doing the things that you know make
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: you feel better, whether it's calling a friend, calling a therapist,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: taking a walk in the park, or meditating, journaling, whatever.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: You have your own toolbox of things that you know
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: can help to just shift that energy just a little
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: bit so that trigger doesn't completely destroy you.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: We hear it all the time, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, But
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: this is what I love.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: This is so simple. Boundaries reduce stress.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know why that has never been articulated that
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: way before. Of course they reduce stress, but I wouldn't
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: have thought about it. Boundary just sounds like a wall
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: and hard and we need them, but I didn't know
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: it was so you know, you didn't look at it
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: as boundaries being so pampering and you know, stress reducing.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Stress reducing to me is going to a spot. Well
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: that's you know, and but that is an excellent, in
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: simple way of visualizing what boundaries do for you internally.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I didn't realize I had no boundaries
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: by the time I hit fifty. I was like, oh
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: my god, I have no boundaries. I was just kind
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: of like winging it with all the relationships and oh
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: she said this and he did that.
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: I'm like, well, figure it out. But who carried the stress?
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: I did, right? Right?
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: So, and here's the thing, Like I've I always had
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: this fear of abandonment since since a child, and because
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: of that, I became like a really good people pleaser,
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: approval seeker.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: Codependent, you name it.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Like I rocked every single one of those labels. And
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: I didn't have boundaries because I was worried that if
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: I stood up for myself then I would be left,
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: I would be abandoned. So I just kind of let
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: everyone just kind of do their thing. And then I
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: suffered internally and then eventually physically, right because all of
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: that caught up with me. So yees, setting boundaries in
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: your relationships is critical to your own health and well being.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I feel that when somebody once said said, you know you,
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: that person didn't cross your boundary.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: You crossed your own.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Uh, because you you you went further than you were
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: you you had agreed with yourself to go. You had
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: you you went further, and and and and even that,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: you know, calls for grace, which you talk a lot
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: about that, which is so poignant because this was still
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: when you set out in that r V and you
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: started the no plan plan and just driving and seeing
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: where it goes and continuing.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: To wait for the next indicated step. You did get there.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: You did launch your podcast, and you did write your book,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: and you have that beautiful moment where the first time
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: you said the words to a stranger, I'm an.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Author and a podcaster.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: And they that that the fact that it almost made
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: you kind of shy and giddy at the same time
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: to let those words come out and be spoken and heard.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's kind of like, yes, going back to
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: that acting as if right, And so anyone out there,
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: like just even your friend like, okay, I'm an esthetician,
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: say that you're an esthetician even way before you start
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: doing your facials.
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: Right, Yes, just claim it, own it.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, you have the right to do that, and
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: eventually you own up to those labels and those titles
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: that you give to yourself. And it doesn't matter what
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: anybody else thinks. That's try to do that for you. Right,
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: So you have to fully embody the woman that you
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: want to become, right, yes, and that is by literally
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: just immersing yourself and the thoughts and the beliefs and
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: behaviors of that person that you want to become.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: On that note, it is so funny because my friend Tina,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: she's always lived unstoppably and she has been calling herself
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: a relaxation therapist because a massage therapist in the state
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: of Ohion needs to be license, of which she is not.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: So she's like, fine, I will pivot and call myself
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: a relaxation therapist.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: So she's nothing is stopping her.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I want to bring the end of this this book
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: discussion with something that I highlighted here because this is
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: just the words here are what what brings it all
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: to a close. Like I said, this book is so
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: beautiful to to write to get in like I love
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: that the paper book, the paperback came to me because
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: I wrote directly in here and create and engaged in
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: this work book that Okay, so this is what I
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: love it. This is about staying wild. You're gonna get
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: those bumps along the way of this journey and you're
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: gonna you're You're still gonna have to continue to just
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: find that self of being present and in the moment
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: and taking one step at a time. But you say,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: that's why loving who you are is a vital part
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: of staying wild. Embrace your wild self with all the wrinkles,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: worries and wisdom that come with time. Aging is not
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: just about enduring the passage of time. It's about honoring
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: the incredible journey that has shaped who you are today
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: and who you are still becoming. Every line on your face,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: every silver strand every life lesson is a testament to
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: your resilience, growth and capacity to love. Capacity to love.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: So as you continue to evolve, remember to offer yourself
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: the same love and compassion you so freely give to others.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Celebrate the changes, cherish the memories, and keep loving yourself
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: fiercely no matter what stage of life you are in.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Is just a beautiful, beautiful reminder to us when we're
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: on this journey that it's about that, it's about loving
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: ourselves fearly, fiercely, one step at a time, at one
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: day at a time, one step along the way, acting
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: as if if it's about being a relaxation therapist, or
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: getting an RV called Felicia and driving in around.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: The world, or you know, being the lead.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Of a series whatever, da da da do floral arranging
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: with your daughter and in your own business. It's it's
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: all there for the taking and to be celebrated all
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: along the way, and it's just.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: Really yeah, yeah, I mean get curious, right, I mean
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: I still find things that every single day that's something
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: that I'm wanting to do, and so get curious at
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: this stage in life, right.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the delicious part about me.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean there's there's I kind of think
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: of life as a buffet, right You go sample what
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: you want, see what you like, see what you don't like.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: If you like it, great, go back for more. If
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: you don't like it, now you know, right, perfect, So
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: now is that time in life to really go up
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: to the to the buffet of life and just savor
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: as much as you possibly can.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Which is why you say It's an awakening, not a crisis.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I would love to end this on a kind of
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: fun note called the how hard Can It Be?
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Rapid Fire?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: But I'm going to call this the RV Edition. Okay,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: So on the road again. So you're traveling in Felicia.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Do you stop at an ie hop or Bob Evans ooh,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: pancakes or those biscuits and great we go with I.
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Hop I hob a classic?
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Yes it is. It's good.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Also, Bob Evans aren't all over the country r V
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: parking cozy quiet mountains or ocean waves all day.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: It takes me back to Malibu Beach RV park where
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: I where I met Davey Gibson.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, oh my gosh.
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: Yes, that's another show. That's a story girl, Oh my god, story.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Can I'd love to hear that. I'm trying to get
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: it on my show Roasting marshmallows tan and toasted or
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: burnt to a crisp tan and toasted. Okay, I'm with
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: you on that celebrity or person in history invited for
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: your campfireside chat.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: Matthew McConaughey, Wow, did you just okay?
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: I love it? You were ready for that one all right,
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: all right, all right?
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: He used to actually stay at that same RV park
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: where I met Debbie Gibson.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Why does that not surprise me? About it? He's a
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: bag for of surprises.
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: He actually talks about it in the Green Lights book.
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: It's just staring.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Wendy, I can't thank you enough for being here
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: and letting us race through your book when there's so many,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: so many other pages full of wisdom, suggestions, ideas, and
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: workbook style thought processes to go through this makeover. I
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: love that you bring this positive light to it because
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: it is it's really our best chapter that coming forward.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: And thank you for sharing your wisdom and your personal
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: story that we can use as a template of how
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: it can be done. It can be done, so I
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: thank you, especially tuning in from Portugal.
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean right, yeah, how hard can it be? Right?
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: I mean we got we can do this, you know.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: You are an amazing hostess and I wish you all
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: the best on this new fun journey for you.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: I appreciate it.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: So you know where to catch We'll put it in
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: the links there of where to find her book, where
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: to find her podcast, and I hope to let me
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: know when you're in town next, because I'll drive down
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: to Malibu. I won't sleep outside, but i'll come down
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: to Malibu and i'll sit by that fireside if you'll
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: have me, Yes.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, come sit by the campfire and we'll do some
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: marshmallows and have some vino.
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: It'll be the best.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Wendy, Thank you so much.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: How hard can it be?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: With the Annamadea Aarriva is a hyphen media group production
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: in partnership with Iheartmichael Dura podcast Network. For more of
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: your favorite shows, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts