Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Part 3_ The Legacy Question
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: So, one thing I think we all have in common
- 0:03Speaker 1: is our love of story. Right, our love of story.
- 0:06Speaker 1: We all love a good story, whether it's a book
- 0:09Speaker 1: or movie, maybe part of a comedy series, fiction, nonfiction.
- 0:13Speaker 1: I love historical fiction. Maybe it's something that happened to
- 0:16Speaker 1: a friend, maybe it's your most embarrassing moment. And we
- 0:19Speaker 1: all love to hear, and many of us enjoy telling stories.
- 0:23Speaker 1: What's not a parent That should be is that each
- 0:26Speaker 1: of us is actually creating a story, the story of
- 0:29Speaker 1: our lives. It should be a parent because when someone
- 0:32Speaker 1: asks you about your past, you know where you're from,
- 0:34Speaker 1: how you met, where you went to school. What do
- 0:37Speaker 1: you do? You dip back into a chapter of your story,
- 0:40Speaker 1: the story of your life. Now, if you were like
- 0:43Speaker 1: me growing up, you were interested in your parents' stories, right.
- 0:47Speaker 1: I love to ask my parents when I was growing up.
- 0:49Speaker 1: I love to ask them about when they got in
- 0:51Speaker 1: trouble as kids. For some reason, those were my favorite stories.
- 0:55Speaker 1: Maybe it just made me feel better about myself. I
- 0:57Speaker 1: don't know, But if your family's anything like mine, there
- 1:00Speaker 1: may actually have been some legendary stories in your family, right,
- 1:04Speaker 1: stories that you enjoyed hearing over and over and over
- 1:07Speaker 1: and stories you ask your parents or maybe somebody else
- 1:09Speaker 1: in your family to tell over and over and over.
- 1:12Speaker 1: But here's the thing. While those events are happening in
- 1:16Speaker 1: the past, nobody is thinking in terms of story, right,
- 1:20Speaker 1: what are they thinking? They're thinking in terms of current events.
- 1:23Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't a story. It was something that
- 1:25Speaker 1: was happening in the moment. And this sets us up
- 1:27Speaker 1: for where we're headed today. Every significant or unusual current
- 1:31Speaker 1: event in your life, even a season of life, once
- 1:34Speaker 1: it's behind you, once it's behind us, what do we
- 1:37Speaker 1: do with it? We reclassify it as a story, a
- 1:41Speaker 1: story we tell, or a story we hope we never
- 1:44Speaker 1: have to tell. A story to embarrassing or painful to tell.
- 1:47Speaker 1: And often the determining factor as to whether or not
- 1:51Speaker 1: we want that story to be told is the decisions
- 1:54Speaker 1: we made while the story was unfolding. Right. The truth is,
- 1:58Speaker 1: we write the story of our lives one decision at
- 2:01Speaker 1: a time, whether it's a thoughtful response or an emotionally
- 2:04Speaker 1: fueled reaction, we write the story of our lives, one
- 2:07Speaker 1: decision at a time. More on that in just a minute.
- 2:11Speaker 1: Today we're in part three of our series Better Decisions
- 2:15Speaker 1: fewer regrets, and the big idea, The big idea behind
- 2:18Speaker 1: this series is simply this. It's the often overlooked relationship
- 2:21Speaker 1: between good questions and good decisions. And as we've said,
- 2:25Speaker 1: good questions set us up for good decisions, and in fact,
- 2:28Speaker 1: in some way, our decisions are no better than the
- 2:31Speaker 1: questions we ask or the questions we don't think to ask.
- 2:34Speaker 1: And here's the promise of this series. If you will ask,
- 2:37Speaker 1: and if you will answer honestly, and then if you
- 2:40Speaker 1: will act on your honest answer to the five questions
- 2:43Speaker 1: that this series is built around, I promise you you
- 2:46Speaker 1: will make better decisions, and consequently you'll live with fewer regrets.
- 2:51Speaker 1: Your life will actually be better, and the people who
- 2:54Speaker 1: look to you, the people who depend on you, their
- 2:57Speaker 1: lives will be better as well, because, and you know this,
- 3:00Speaker 1: we aren't the only people. We aren't the only people
- 3:03Speaker 1: impacted by our decisions, and we are not the only
- 3:07Speaker 1: people impacted by our regrets either. Now, in Part one,
- 3:10Speaker 1: I suggested you memorize this saying, a saying from the
- 3:13Speaker 1: Book of Proverbs. And here's the saying. I hope some
- 3:15Speaker 1: of you have memorize this. The prudence see danger, the
- 3:18Speaker 1: prudence seed danger and they do something, they respond appropriately,
- 3:22Speaker 1: they take refuge, but the simple or the naive, they
- 3:25Speaker 1: just keep on going and they pay the penalty. And
- 3:28Speaker 1: the reason I want you to commit that saying to
- 3:30Speaker 1: memory is this. As simple and as straightforward as these
- 3:33Speaker 1: five questions are, they will bring you into conflict with
- 3:37Speaker 1: the sales associate that lives in your head, just as
- 3:39Speaker 1: they bring me into conflict with the sales associate that
- 3:42Speaker 1: lives in my head. Because it's a little sales associate
- 3:45Speaker 1: that lives in your head, and his or her voice
- 3:47Speaker 1: sounds a lot like your voice. Right. They want you
- 3:50Speaker 1: to act now, They want you to decide fast. They
- 3:53Speaker 1: want you to focus on the immediate rather than the ultimate.
- 3:56Speaker 1: And this verse is a reminder to look beyond the
- 3:59Speaker 1: moment and not to look away from the potential danger
- 4:02Speaker 1: associated with one of the options. You catch yourself selling
- 4:05Speaker 1: yourself on. These five questions will slow you down, and
- 4:09Speaker 1: they will create the perspective you need to see danger coming.
- 4:15Speaker 1: This verse will give you the perspective you need to
- 4:18Speaker 1: connect the dots between the options you're considering and a
- 4:21Speaker 1: future you may prefer or a future you would prefer
- 4:25Speaker 1: to avoid. Now, last time, we introduced the first of
- 4:27Speaker 1: our five questions number. The first question was the integrity question.
- 4:31Speaker 1: And the integrity question is am I being honest with myself?
- 4:35Speaker 1: Am I being honest with myself? Really? So? I hope
- 4:39Speaker 1: since last time we met, you have been being honest
- 4:42Speaker 1: with yourself really. And I hope you've been being honest
- 4:44Speaker 1: with yourself even if the truth about yourself made you
- 4:47Speaker 1: feel a little bad about yourself, Because, as we said
- 4:49Speaker 1: last time, acknowledging where we are is the first step
- 4:52Speaker 1: to getting where we ultimately want to be. So when
- 4:55Speaker 1: making a decision of any magnitude, ask yourself, am I
- 4:59Speaker 1: being on with myself? Really? Today? Is the second question,
- 5:03Speaker 1: and I call this the legacy question, the legacy question.
- 5:06Speaker 1: Anytime you're making a decision of any magnitude or of
- 5:09Speaker 1: any consequence, I want you to pause and ask the
- 5:12Speaker 1: legacy question, which is what story do I want to tell?
- 5:18Speaker 1: What story do I want to tell? Think about it
- 5:20Speaker 1: this way, when this decision, or maybe this entire season
- 5:24Speaker 1: of life, when this relationship, when this business transaction is
- 5:27Speaker 1: reduced to simply a story that you tell. What story
- 5:32Speaker 1: do you want to tell? What story do you want
- 5:34Speaker 1: to tell? Do you want to be the hero or
- 5:36Speaker 1: do you want to be the villain? Do you want
- 5:38Speaker 1: to be the good example or do you want to
- 5:40Speaker 1: be the bad example? Which option will make this a
- 5:43Speaker 1: story worth remembering as opposed to a story you hope
- 5:47Speaker 1: no one ever tells and no one ever finds out about.
- 5:51Speaker 1: Which option would make this a story you will be
- 5:53Speaker 1: proud to tell your children someday, maybe even your grandchildren.
- 5:56Speaker 1: Here's the good news. Here's the good news. You get
- 5:59Speaker 1: to decide, But you decide one decision at a time, because,
- 6:03Speaker 1: as far as it is up to you, you write
- 6:05Speaker 1: the story of your life one decision at a time,
- 6:10Speaker 1: And every decision you make, every decision you make, becomes
- 6:13Speaker 1: a permanent part of the story. The story of your life.
- 6:16Speaker 1: Every decision you make has an outcome, a consequence, a result,
- 6:20Speaker 1: maybe good or bad, desirable, undesirable, expected, unexpected, whatever the case,
- 6:25Speaker 1: that outcome becomes a permanent part of the story of
- 6:29Speaker 1: your life. Your boss comes along and he ask you
- 6:32Speaker 1: to lie to a client, and you choose to lie
- 6:35Speaker 1: to the client, and the client finds out and calls
- 6:37Speaker 1: you on it, and the boss lays the blame on you,
- 6:40Speaker 1: and you lose your job. Now part of your story
- 6:43Speaker 1: is that you lied and you lost your job because
- 6:45Speaker 1: you lied. It's not a good story. What about this story?
- 6:49Speaker 1: Your boss asks you to lie, and you choose not
- 6:51Speaker 1: to lie, and you lose your job because you wouldn't
- 6:54Speaker 1: do what your boss asks you to do. It's not
- 6:55Speaker 1: a great story. But that's a better story, right all? Right?
- 6:58Speaker 1: About this one? You met this guy, he was just
- 7:01Speaker 1: kind of okay, he was convenient. There wasn't anybody else
- 7:03Speaker 1: on the horizon. Something in you knew this really wasn't
- 7:06Speaker 1: something you should pursue, but you did anyway, and two
- 7:10Speaker 1: years later the whole thing just evaporated. It's pretty much
- 7:12Speaker 1: a story. You hope no one even asks you about
- 7:15Speaker 1: a story that no one finds out about. How about
- 7:17Speaker 1: this one? Your friends wanted you to go out, but
- 7:19Speaker 1: you had an exam to study for, and you said no.
- 7:21Speaker 1: You stayed in and you studied and you aced the exam.
- 7:24Speaker 1: And that was a decision you made over and over
- 7:26Speaker 1: and over, and now you have a degree to show
- 7:29Speaker 1: for it. That's a good story. The point is simply this,
- 7:32Speaker 1: Every decision and the outcome of that decision becomes part
- 7:36Speaker 1: of your story, which means decision by decision, you are
- 7:40Speaker 1: writing the story of your life. That's why, when you're
- 7:43Speaker 1: making a decision of any magnitude, you've got to pause,
- 7:46Speaker 1: look ahead, and think, when this is nothing more than
- 7:49Speaker 1: a story I tell? What story? What story do I
- 7:54Speaker 1: want to tell? The decision you are wrestling with right now,
- 7:57Speaker 1: right now is going to be nothing more than a
- 7:59Speaker 1: story you tell someday. What story do you want to
- 8:03Speaker 1: tell now? The challenge with all of this is this,
- 8:08Speaker 1: in the midst of current events, in the midst of circumstances,
- 8:11Speaker 1: we don't think of our lives in terms of story. Now.
- 8:13Speaker 1: It is a story, but we don't think that way.
- 8:15Speaker 1: For example, if you recently lost your job, surviving this
- 8:19Speaker 1: season without a job, well, one day, this is just
- 8:22Speaker 1: going to be a story that you tell. What story
- 8:24Speaker 1: do you want to tell? I lost my job, I
- 8:26Speaker 1: was embarrassed, I started drinking too much, I racked up
- 8:28Speaker 1: some unnecessary debt. I lost the respect of my friends
- 8:31Speaker 1: and my kids. That's not a great story. It's understandable.
- 8:35Speaker 1: I mean losing a job, I mean going for a
- 8:37Speaker 1: prolonged period of time without work is terrifying. It's terrifying.
- 8:41Speaker 1: But the decisions we make in the valleys eventually are
- 8:45Speaker 1: just stories we tell on the other side. Or maybe
- 8:48Speaker 1: back to the dating thing. You're dating someone and things
- 8:51Speaker 1: are going okay, but there's someone else in the picture,
- 8:54Speaker 1: and yeah, she's married or he's married. But you find
- 8:57Speaker 1: yourself gravitating in their direction, and they seem to be
- 9:01Speaker 1: gravitating in your direction as well, and you get the
- 9:04Speaker 1: sense that if you're willing, they're willing your decision. Your
- 9:09Speaker 1: decision will be a permanent part of your story and
- 9:13Speaker 1: hers or and his. What story do you want to tell?
- 9:17Speaker 1: I got involved with someone at work who was married.
- 9:20Speaker 1: I ended up busting up a marriage. Now their kids
- 9:22Speaker 1: ping pong between two homes on the weekends. Is that
- 9:25Speaker 1: the story you want to tell? I don't think so.
- 9:28Speaker 1: Now here's something that I think is true of all
- 9:30Speaker 1: of us. You'd like to be able to tell your
- 9:33Speaker 1: entire story without skipping any parts, without skipping any chapters
- 9:37Speaker 1: or having to lie about the details, right, I mean,
- 9:40Speaker 1: someday you'd like to be able to sit down with
- 9:41Speaker 1: your kids, or maybe even your grandkids, or maybe someone
- 9:44Speaker 1: you hope to spend the rest of your life with
- 9:46Speaker 1: and tell your entire story. And isn't it true? You'd
- 9:49Speaker 1: like to be the hero and your story. I mean,
- 9:52Speaker 1: I think we all want that, and I think going forward,
- 9:55Speaker 1: you can have that, but it will require you to
- 9:57Speaker 1: stop mid decision and ask what story do I want
- 10:02Speaker 1: to tell? Which of the available options do I want
- 10:05Speaker 1: as a permanent part of my story Now, I think
- 10:09Speaker 1: one of the reasons we don't think about story when
- 10:11Speaker 1: we're making decisions is we get distracted by the pressure
- 10:14Speaker 1: and the emotions of the moment, right, I mean, emotion
- 10:17Speaker 1: when it comes to decision making, emotion is like a fog.
- 10:19Speaker 1: It causes us to lose sight of the broader context,
- 10:22Speaker 1: which is our story. And you know how this works.
- 10:24Speaker 1: You're up against the deadline. You've got to decide. You've
- 10:27Speaker 1: got to decide soon. You know. If you won't marry me,
- 10:30Speaker 1: I'm leaving. Nobody wants to be left. If you don't
- 10:33Speaker 1: make your quota, you're fired. Nobody wants to be fired.
- 10:35Speaker 1: I mean, when you're forced to make a decision under pressure,
- 10:38Speaker 1: it is hard to think about tomorrow, much less your story, right,
- 10:42Speaker 1: because you've got to get through today. So, whether it's
- 10:44Speaker 1: love or fear or jealousy, the emotions associated with the
- 10:48Speaker 1: decision making process they always complicate the process by focusing
- 10:52Speaker 1: our attention on the immediate rather than the ultimate, and
- 10:56Speaker 1: consequently we're left thinking in terms of options, not our story.
- 11:01Speaker 1: And the challenge is, and you know this, there are
- 11:04Speaker 1: no emotionally neutral decision making environments, right, I mean, when
- 11:08Speaker 1: it comes to big decisions, it is almost impossible to
- 11:11Speaker 1: be objective because of the way we feel, because of
- 11:13Speaker 1: our emotions. This is why your worst decision. And I
- 11:16Speaker 1: know we've never met, so I'm taking a gamble here,
- 11:19Speaker 1: but my guess is your worst decision was fueled by
- 11:23Speaker 1: something with strong emotional appeal, right, maybe a first marriage
- 11:29Speaker 1: that was pretty much doomed from the start. That purchase,
- 11:33Speaker 1: that lease. I mean, it was so appealing, you bought it.
- 11:36Speaker 1: It was so appealing, you ate it, you smoked it.
- 11:38Speaker 1: It was so appealing you dated it, and you moved
- 11:41Speaker 1: in with it. Right. And if you're in retail sales,
- 11:43Speaker 1: you know exactly how this works. You know about the
- 11:46Speaker 1: worst thing that you can let a potential customer do
- 11:49Speaker 1: is leave the store or leave the showroom without making
- 11:52Speaker 1: the sale. Why. Well, you know why, because once they
- 11:55Speaker 1: walk out, what happens the emotional appeal of your product
- 11:59Speaker 1: begins to side, and they're far less likely to make
- 12:03Speaker 1: the purchase. We've all experienced that. Now psychologists actually have
- 12:07Speaker 1: a name for this dynamic. It explains why once our
- 12:10Speaker 1: appetites are engaged in the decision making process, we well
- 12:14Speaker 1: we to some degree, we kind of lose our minds
- 12:16Speaker 1: on This cognitive bias has been labeled focalism. Focalism because
- 12:20Speaker 1: the victims, and we've all been a victim of this,
- 12:22Speaker 1: the victims hyper focus on the one thing to the
- 12:25Speaker 1: neglect of pretty much everything else. If you've ever been
- 12:29Speaker 1: in love, and I hope you have, If you've ever
- 12:31Speaker 1: been in love, you were a victim, or maybe you
- 12:33Speaker 1: are currently a victim of focalism. It's wonderful. All you
- 12:37Speaker 1: can see is him, all you can see is her.
- 12:40Speaker 1: The point being this in emotionally in emotionally charged decision
- 12:45Speaker 1: making environments. Whenever there is an emotionally charged decision making environment,
- 12:49Speaker 1: we think in terms of our options, not our stories.
- 12:53Speaker 1: So here's a tip. When confronted, When confronted with anything
- 12:58Speaker 1: or anybody with strong emotional appeal, press pause, now I
- 13:02Speaker 1: play because strong emotional appeal. Strong emotional appeal should trigger
- 13:08Speaker 1: a red flag, not necessarily a green light. Instead of
- 13:13Speaker 1: leaning in, we should step back, not because and this
- 13:16Speaker 1: is important, not because he's not the one. He may
- 13:19Speaker 1: be the one. Not because it's not a great investment opportunity.
- 13:22Speaker 1: It may be a great investment opportunity. Not because it's
- 13:24Speaker 1: not the perfect job. It may be the perfect job,
- 13:27Speaker 1: but in spite of that, we should step back because
- 13:30Speaker 1: anything with strong emotional appeal, even the right thing, clouds
- 13:34Speaker 1: our judgment. So just hit pause, get your bearings, go
- 13:37Speaker 1: home and think about it, Call a friend, and for
- 13:40Speaker 1: sure consider, consider, Consider your story, because when you consider
- 13:47Speaker 1: your story, it places it places the decision making process
- 13:50Speaker 1: within the broader context of our entire lives. Now, the
- 13:55Speaker 1: Old Testament story of Joseph, The Old Testament story of Joseph,
- 13:58Speaker 1: I think, is a great reminder of how powerful and
- 14:01Speaker 1: legacy preserving this question is. This is why I call
- 14:04Speaker 1: it the legacy question. Now, many of you are so
- 14:07Speaker 1: familiar with this story you could tell it yourself, So
- 14:09Speaker 1: I'll give you the condensed version. Around eighteen hundred BC,
- 14:13Speaker 1: a seventeen year old named Joseph, the eleventh of twelve sons,
- 14:18Speaker 1: finds himself in a no win situation that is not
- 14:20Speaker 1: of his own making. His father, Jacob, loved him more
- 14:23Speaker 1: than all the other boys because Joseph's mother was his
- 14:26Speaker 1: father's favorite wife, which fueled the fires of jealousy and
- 14:30Speaker 1: his ten older brothers. Eventually, as you probably know, their
- 14:34Speaker 1: jealousy gets the best of them, they decide to kill Joseph.
- 14:37Speaker 1: In the end, they lose their nerve and decide to
- 14:39Speaker 1: sell him instead, which is a bit more merciful and
- 14:43Speaker 1: way more profitable. And they sell him to slave traders.
- 14:46Speaker 1: And then they tell their dad that he was killed
- 14:48Speaker 1: by a wild animal. And now, and this is important. Now,
- 14:51Speaker 1: these ten young men think about this. These ten young
- 14:55Speaker 1: men have a secret that they are forced to live
- 14:57Speaker 1: with for the rest of their lives. I have a
- 15:00Speaker 1: chapter in their lives they will be embarrassed to tell.
- 15:03Speaker 1: I was so jealous of my younger brother that I,
- 15:06Speaker 1: along with my other nine brothers, beat him up and
- 15:10Speaker 1: sold him. There were ten of us, and one of
- 15:13Speaker 1: them who wants to tell that story. And then we
- 15:15Speaker 1: lied to my father and broke his heart and said
- 15:17Speaker 1: that his favorite son had been killed by a wild animal.
- 15:21Speaker 1: That's not a good story. And now, and now Joseph's
- 15:25Speaker 1: brothers are liars for life. Please don't decide anything that
- 15:34Speaker 1: makes you a liar for life. Here's why whatever you
- 15:38Speaker 1: gain in the moment will not be worth what you're
- 15:40Speaker 1: forced to carry into the moments that follow. Back to Joseph. So,
- 15:45Speaker 1: Joseph ends up on the auction block in Egypt, where
- 15:48Speaker 1: he's purchased by a military officer named Potiphar. And now
- 15:51Speaker 1: Joseph has a decision to make. Do I run, Do
- 15:54Speaker 1: I do what most slaves do as little as possible,
- 15:57Speaker 1: with as bad an attitude as I can get by with,
- 16:00Speaker 1: or do I throw myself into this whole slave thing
- 16:02Speaker 1: with everything I've got? Interesting dilemma for a rich kid
- 16:06Speaker 1: who grew up as his father's favorite son. And here's
- 16:10Speaker 1: what makes this story so relatable for many of us.
- 16:13Speaker 1: None of this, none of this is his fault. Somebody
- 16:17Speaker 1: else took control of his story, his story, like parts
- 16:21Speaker 1: of your story were hijacked, commandeered by evil people, selfish people.
- 16:26Speaker 1: So why try? You know? Why care? That's always the
- 16:29Speaker 1: temptation when someone else decides our story in a bad direction.
- 16:34Speaker 1: But somehow, in some way, Joseph overcomes, overcomes the negative inertia,
- 16:39Speaker 1: the temptation to just throw up his hands and give up.
- 16:41Speaker 1: He refuses to throw up his hands and let fate
- 16:43Speaker 1: have its way. Instead, he decides to serve Potiphar's household
- 16:47Speaker 1: as if it were his own, And eventually Potiphar notices,
- 16:51Speaker 1: and he gives Joseph even more responsibility, and he ends
- 16:54Speaker 1: up in charge of Potiphar's entire household. Then you know,
- 16:58Speaker 1: if you think about it, that's kind of a story
- 17:00Speaker 1: worth telling, Right, I was kidnapped once, I was sold twice.
- 17:03Speaker 1: I was a victim, but I decided not to live
- 17:06Speaker 1: like a victim. That was the story that Joseph decided.
- 17:09Speaker 1: That was the story that Joseph was writing. But then
- 17:13Speaker 1: the music change. Right, If you know this story, you
- 17:15Speaker 1: know that his story intersected with somebody else's story, Potiphar's wife.
- 17:20Speaker 1: And he finds himself, once again, through no fault of
- 17:23Speaker 1: his own, in a no win situation because Potiphar's wife
- 17:26Speaker 1: insists that he become her lover, probably one of many lovers,
- 17:30Speaker 1: and Joseph has two options, neither of which would lead
- 17:33Speaker 1: to a good outcome. And it's important to understand in
- 17:37Speaker 1: this culture, this was not primarily a moral issue. This
- 17:41Speaker 1: was a life or death issue. More like death or death,
- 17:44Speaker 1: because either way he decided he could lose his life.
- 17:48Speaker 1: And just to point it out, he's about nineteen or
- 17:50Speaker 1: maybe twenty years old when this part of his story
- 17:53Speaker 1: unfolds and once again he opts for the better story.
- 17:57Speaker 1: And it's at this juncture and history. It's one of
- 18:00Speaker 1: the reasons I wanted to rehearse this story with you,
- 18:02Speaker 1: even though it's so familiar. It's at this juncture in
- 18:05Speaker 1: Joseph's story that he employs a powerful, powerful technique, something
- 18:10Speaker 1: we should all employ. Here's what he does. Joseph actually
- 18:14Speaker 1: rehearses his story out loud as the context for his
- 18:18Speaker 1: response to Potiphar's wife. This is how we know he
- 18:21Speaker 1: made this decision within the context of his life story.
- 18:25Speaker 1: So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna kind of
- 18:26Speaker 1: paraphrase the first part of his response, and then I'll
- 18:29Speaker 1: read the second part straight from the text. Essentially, here's
- 18:32Speaker 1: what he said, missus Potterphar. I came to this land
- 18:37Speaker 1: as a slave. I had no rights and no future.
- 18:40Speaker 1: Your husband purchased me, and I did my best to
- 18:43Speaker 1: serve him and you, and through my hard work and
- 18:47Speaker 1: my diligence and through God's help. I've gained the trust
- 18:51Speaker 1: of your husband. He's put me in charge of the
- 18:53Speaker 1: entire household. In other words, my story is getting better
- 18:57Speaker 1: all the time. And then he says this quote. With
- 19:01Speaker 1: me in charge of the household, he told her, my
- 19:03Speaker 1: master does not concern himself with anything in the house.
- 19:06Speaker 1: Everything he owned he has entrusted to my care. No one,
- 19:11Speaker 1: no one is greater in this house than I am.
- 19:14Speaker 1: My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because
- 19:20Speaker 1: you are his wife. Implication, that's your story, missus Potipher,
- 19:26Speaker 1: You really need to think this through. Do you really
- 19:27Speaker 1: want affair with a Hebrew slave? This part of your story?
- 19:33Speaker 1: And then Joseph steps back into the broadest context of all.
- 19:37Speaker 1: In light of all that's happened, in light of your
- 19:39Speaker 1: husband's confidence in me, in light of God's mercy to me,
- 19:43Speaker 1: he asked this question, how then, in light of all that,
- 19:46Speaker 1: in light of the way my story is going, how
- 19:48Speaker 1: then could I do such a wicked thing and sin
- 19:51Speaker 1: against God? Why would I want? Why would I want
- 19:56Speaker 1: to add adultery to what's turning out to be a
- 19:59Speaker 1: pretty good story with it ending I never dreamed possible.
- 20:02Speaker 1: In other words, which of these stories, Missus Potiphar, do
- 20:05Speaker 1: I want to tell? I only have two options. Story
- 20:08Speaker 1: number one, your husband gave me an opportunity I never
- 20:11Speaker 1: dream would come my way. I was faithful to him
- 20:13Speaker 1: and the God who's been watching over and looking out
- 20:16Speaker 1: for me. That's a good story. Or story number two,
- 20:19Speaker 1: your husband gave me an opportunity I never dreamed would
- 20:22Speaker 1: come my way, so I took advantage of his trust
- 20:24Speaker 1: and had an affair with his wife. Which story do
- 20:27Speaker 1: I want to tell? Which story do you want to tell?
- 20:32Speaker 1: When the decision you are in the middle of making
- 20:34Speaker 1: right now is nothing more than a story you tell?
- 20:37Speaker 1: What story do you want to tell? Now? As you
- 20:40Speaker 1: probably know, Joseph decided to better those two stories. He
- 20:45Speaker 1: did the right thing, but the right thing did not
- 20:49Speaker 1: turn out for Joseph. Potiphar's wife accuses him of trying
- 20:52Speaker 1: to rape her, and Joseph ends up in Pharaoh's dungeon.
- 20:56Speaker 1: But Joseph's story wasn't over, and your story isn't over either. Now.
- 21:04Speaker 1: It's true when we find ourselves in a long difficult
- 21:07Speaker 1: season and a long difficult chapter of our story, it
- 21:10Speaker 1: feels like this chapter is the entire story, But it
- 21:13Speaker 1: doesn't have to be. Oftentimes, it's our responses, our decisions
- 21:17Speaker 1: in those difficult chapters that make all the difference, that
- 21:20Speaker 1: make all the difference between a story that ends bad
- 21:23Speaker 1: and a story that ends well. Now, if you're familiar
- 21:27Speaker 1: with Joseph's story, you know that while he was in prison,
- 21:30Speaker 1: Joseph does the same thing he did in the dungeon
- 21:33Speaker 1: as he did in Potiphar's household. He decides well, and
- 21:35Speaker 1: over time he wins the favor of the prison ward. Now,
- 21:38Speaker 1: nobody's life ambition is to win the favor of a
- 21:40Speaker 1: prison ward. But you know what, he just decided to
- 21:43Speaker 1: do what he could do with what he had to
- 21:44Speaker 1: work with, and before long he's pretty much running the place.
- 21:48Speaker 1: Several years later, and don't let that go by too quickly,
- 21:51Speaker 1: several years later, he finds himself being ushered into Pharaoh's
- 21:56Speaker 1: presence to interpret a dream because Pharaoh had a dream
- 21:59Speaker 1: that he believed had significance for the nation of Egypt,
- 22:02Speaker 1: and none of his magicians could interpret the dream. And then,
- 22:06Speaker 1: in another surprising twist in Joseph's story, Joseph assures Pharaoh
- 22:11Speaker 1: that he can't interpret the dream either. And I think
- 22:14Speaker 1: there was a gasp in the throne room when he
- 22:16Speaker 1: said that. And then he looks at Pharaoh and says,
- 22:19Speaker 1: but God, God is in the Hebrew God, which is
- 22:23Speaker 1: a dangerous thing to say to someone who can considers
- 22:25Speaker 1: himself of God God, who the Hebrew God can interpret
- 22:28Speaker 1: the dream for Pharaoh. Fortunately, that day, Pharaoh was more
- 22:32Speaker 1: curious than furious, and he lets Joseph proceed with dream interpretation. So,
- 22:37Speaker 1: according to Joseph, and according to the dream as he
- 22:40Speaker 1: understood it, Egypt would experience seven years of record breaking
- 22:45Speaker 1: grain harvest. Essentially, the Egyptians would be swimming in grain.
- 22:49Speaker 1: And here's why that was a big deal. Bread was
- 22:51Speaker 1: a staple for ancient people, all ancient people, so grain
- 22:55Speaker 1: was the primary source for basically what constituted the dominant
- 22:58Speaker 1: portion of the standard diet, which means if there's no grain,
- 23:02Speaker 1: people literally starved. So this was great news. But that
- 23:06Speaker 1: was just half of the dream. Egypt would experience seven
- 23:09Speaker 1: years of record breaking grain harvest, followed by a famine
- 23:13Speaker 1: so severe Joseph said that everybody's gonna forget all about
- 23:16Speaker 1: the seven good years. Now. When Joseph finished interpreting the dream,
- 23:21Speaker 1: everybody in the throne room assumed that Joseph was finished
- 23:24Speaker 1: and he would be escorted out. But Joseph wasn't finished,
- 23:29Speaker 1: and he does the unthinkable, and he gives Pharaoh unsolicited advice.
- 23:36Speaker 1: Now nobody gave the Pharaoh unsolicited advice, especially a foreigner
- 23:41Speaker 1: who still smelled a bit like the dungeon. But this
- 23:44Speaker 1: was the advice he gave Pharaoh. He said, Oh, Pharaoh,
- 23:48Speaker 1: somebody needs to wake up every single day focused on
- 23:51Speaker 1: this problem. Somebody needs to wake up every single day
- 23:53Speaker 1: focused on preparing Egypt for what's coming. So choose somebody
- 23:57Speaker 1: you trust and put them in charge of grain storage.
- 24:02Speaker 1: Silence in the throne room, as everybody waited to find
- 24:06Speaker 1: out what unimaginable horror awaited this arrogant Hebrew who would
- 24:11Speaker 1: dare to give Pharaoh advice? But Pharaoh smiles and he says,
- 24:17Speaker 1: to the people standing around, can we find anyone like
- 24:21Speaker 1: this man, one in whom is the spirit of God?
- 24:27Speaker 1: And then Pharaoh said to Joseph, since God, Joseph's God,
- 24:33Speaker 1: since God has made all this known to you, there
- 24:36Speaker 1: is no one so discerning and wise as you. And then,
- 24:41Speaker 1: to the shock and awe of everyone standing there, you
- 24:46Speaker 1: shall be in charge of my palace, and all my
- 24:49Speaker 1: people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect
- 24:53Speaker 1: to the throne, will I be greater than you, And
- 24:58Speaker 1: in this moment makes Joseph the prime Minister of Egypt.
- 25:05Speaker 1: And once again Joseph did what Joseph did. He decided well,
- 25:10Speaker 1: and he devotes himself to this unprecedented opportunity. Seven years later,
- 25:15Speaker 1: as he predicted, a famine devastates that region of the world.
- 25:19Speaker 1: Once everybody's personal grain cupboards are bare, Joseph opens the
- 25:23Speaker 1: federal grain silos and feeds the nation, and before long,
- 25:27Speaker 1: people from all over that part of the world are
- 25:29Speaker 1: caravanning to Egypt to buy grain, including if you know
- 25:32Speaker 1: this story, including Joseph's brothers. And when they arrived, he
- 25:38Speaker 1: happened to be out that day and he recognized them immediately,
- 25:42Speaker 1: But of course they did not recognize their thirty year
- 25:45Speaker 1: old brother, whom they had not seen since he was
- 25:47Speaker 1: about seventeen years old. Now, if you've never read this
- 25:52Speaker 1: story in Genesis, you should. There are so many fascinating
- 25:55Speaker 1: details we don't have time to explore today. But in
- 25:57Speaker 1: the end, in the end, Joseph finally reveals his identity
- 26:01Speaker 1: to his ten older brothers and they are speechless. Actually,
- 26:06Speaker 1: they are terrified, and they beg for mercy they know
- 26:10Speaker 1: they don't deserve and in all likelihood will not receive.
- 26:15Speaker 1: And they were sure, they were so sure Joseph would
- 26:17Speaker 1: do to them what they had done to him, because
- 26:19Speaker 1: that's exactly what they would do to him if they
- 26:21Speaker 1: were in Joseph's position. But and here's the point of
- 26:24Speaker 1: the story, Joseph wasn't anything like his brothers. And do
- 26:29Speaker 1: you know why, because throughout his life, Joseph refused to react,
- 26:35Speaker 1: and in refusing to react, he avoided becoming like the
- 26:38Speaker 1: people he didn't like. He decided, he decided against the
- 26:44Speaker 1: gravitational pull of bitterness. So consequently, now that he's got
- 26:49Speaker 1: the power, he is free, and he is free to
- 26:53Speaker 1: write a better story. He decided his life in a
- 26:57Speaker 1: different and a better direction. He decided a story worth telling.
- 27:03Speaker 1: That's why we're telling his story. And in that moment,
- 27:08Speaker 1: he made a big decision. He decided revenge would not
- 27:12Speaker 1: be part of his story. So, in addition to rescuing
- 27:16Speaker 1: Egypt from the famine, Joseph rescues his entire family and
- 27:20Speaker 1: their families as well, and he moves them all to Egypt,
- 27:24Speaker 1: now that is a story worth telling. A story. He
- 27:27Speaker 1: decided one decision, one response at a time, which brings
- 27:32Speaker 1: me back to us, which brings me back to you.
- 27:37Speaker 1: What story? What story do you want to tell? What
- 27:43Speaker 1: story do you want told about you? Like Joseph, like
- 27:47Speaker 1: his brothers, you're writing the story of your life, one
- 27:49Speaker 1: decision at a time. Don't do what his brothers did,
- 27:53Speaker 1: never ever, ever, choose the option that makes you a
- 27:55Speaker 1: liar for life. Listen, this is so important. Long after,
- 28:00Speaker 1: long after whatever you gained is gone, you'll be left
- 28:03Speaker 1: with your lie. You'll be left with a story you
- 28:06Speaker 1: won't be proud to tell. Every relational, financial, professional, academic
- 28:12Speaker 1: decision and the outcome of those decisions, they become a
- 28:14Speaker 1: permanent part of your story. So write a good one.
- 28:18Speaker 1: Decide a good one. And if you haven't decided a
- 28:20Speaker 1: good one up to this point, remember this. Your current
- 28:23Speaker 1: chapter is just that. It's a chapter. It's not the
- 28:25Speaker 1: whole story. So as we wrap up, I want to
- 28:29Speaker 1: challenge you to make a decision right now. I want
- 28:32Speaker 1: to challenge you to make this decision. I'll decide a
- 28:35Speaker 1: story I'll be proud to tell. I'll decide a story
- 28:39Speaker 1: I will be proud to tell every time. Every time
- 28:43Speaker 1: you're faced with a decision of any magnitude, ask when
- 28:46Speaker 1: this is nothing more than a story I tell, what
- 28:48Speaker 1: story do I want to tell? And then decide accordingly.
- 28:53Speaker 1: Because you write the story of your life, one decision
- 28:57Speaker 1: at a time, write a good one. Attatata