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What Is Inner Work? · We Are The Same

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, I hope you've had a beautiful week.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, I'm going to be talking about what inner work is, since this is a question I've received a lot.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, succinctly, inner work is the process of self-reflection in order to see why you act, react, and feel the ways that you do.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is the perpetual question of why that you ask yourself over and over again in order to get to the crux of the reason that you feel certain ways.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: We also call this mindfulness.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Within this mindfulness, you can choose to change your perspective.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: There are different ways, or let's say, layers to inner work, so let's talk about those.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: The easiest way for me to go through this list is by taking a, let's say, issue and going through it step by step.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take abandonment as our issue for today.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: So in our hypothetical story, you have a fear of abandonment.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: The way this could play out is in a multitude of ways.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: You could get into relationships and never fully trust the person or become vulnerable in fear that they will leave.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: You could run at the first sign of an argument and break up with the person before they can do it to you.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: You could be insanely jealous and project that onto your partner, accusing them of cheating or not caring, or consistently picking fights to test them.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: You could keep your options open, always keeping a safety net of people that you used to date in the background while you date anyone new.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if you get abandoned, you have people to fall back on and not feel the pain.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: You could have a propensity to rebound after relationships to numb the sting.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: There are a plethora of ways that you could show and feel fear of abandonment, but the inner work comes from what you do with this.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: The first layer of inner work or mindfulness is understanding.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding why you have a fear of abandonment, understanding how you react when you're being triggered by fear of abandonment, and understanding your propensities.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: In order to understand these things, you could sit and reflect, journal, or meditate on when you felt abandoned as a child and why you have felt this throughout your life.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not as simple as I felt abandoned because everyone has always just left me.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: That is the surface issue that your ego is clinging on to in order to not feel the pain of being abandoned.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: To truly understand why you have abandonment issues, you need to dig deeply and pull those memories up one by one.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: At this point, you not only understand that you have abandonment fears, but also why you have them.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is your first step to mindfulness, but you may not know where to go from here.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: The next layer of inner work is consciously changing an action.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is where you take the understanding that you have these abandonment fears and look at how those fears make you act when you're triggered.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Not only that, but you look at the triggers themselves.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a word that your ego gets triggered by that makes you feel like you're about to be abandoned?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a specific action that prepares your ego for running?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Why are those things triggers for you?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Where did they come from?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: What would happen if you got triggered the next time and sit with the fear instead of actually acting upon it?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes changing an action is as simple as not acting.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't mean to put yourself in emotional danger, though it may feel like that at the time.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it does mean that you give your ego something to weigh your actions against, testing whether your current actions are the best things for you.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Consciously changing an action could also be telling the person who is triggering you that they are currently triggering you.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: You'd be surprised at the response you might get.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever action you change, from tiny action to large action, is inner work because you are doing something about the mindfulness that you're practicing.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: The last layer of inner work is learning the lesson, as all things that disrupt your mental equilibrium are lessons to be learned.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: You've gotten to the point in which you understand why you believe, feel, act, and react in certain ways.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: You've consciously changed actions and you are mindful of your triggers.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's time to learn the lesson so that you don't have to repeat it.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Abandonment, as we know, is an incredibly difficult lesson to learn, but there are things surrounding it and even deeper that we can learn.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: For example, let's say that one of your triggers is your partner being MIA for days at a time.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're dating someone who likes to go out with their friends on the weekends and stays out until 3 a.m.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: drinking, then needs the entire next day to get over their hangover, this is most likely triggering to you.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Setting boundaries with them may seem like the thing that you quote unquote should do in order to fill this need that you have, but in reality, the boundaries need to be set with yourself.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: You need to find enough courage within yourself to set the boundary that you will not date someone who lives a lifestyle that is triggering to your abandonment issues.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hoping, wishing, and expecting them to change their way of life for you is not mindfulness or inner work, nor is it taking care of yourself.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's perpetuating your ego stories to itself that you're not worth anything or lovable enough to change for.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: The other person is not your concern.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: You are your concern, and you are the number one priority always.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Figuring this out will help you to learn the lesson.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean to be a stickler or unmoving or proud, righteous, or stubborn.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean to spiritually bypass.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It simply means that you are mindful enough to know what is too much for you and your ego, what your value system is, and to gently honor that before you put yourself in a situation in which you have to make difficult decisions that you'd rather not make.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's learning yourself enough to learn what lessons you need to learn.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's understanding what your core karmic lesson is so that you can know the true deep-down feeling you have regarding your own 3D life.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's moving with your ego, not for your ego, a give and take system in which the ego helps you but doesn't rule your life.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's submission to the higher self at times when the ego is screaming at you to take control and remembering that you are everything, have created everything, and all the stories that the ego tells you are mere perspective based on experiences it's had, but are not black and white, and in the end, not real.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Until next week, all of my best and highest vibrations to you.