Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / THE BDSM TEST QUESTIONS: PART I

Transcript

THE BDSM TEST QUESTIONS: PART I · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:04
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Mistress Mia's
0:06
Dungeon. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia,
0:09
and today I've got our special Barbie.
0:15
And there she's waving. I, I try to like, remember not
0:19
to wave and then I always do it. I'm always like, don't wave,
0:22
they can't see you. So, Barbie, we have a special
0:27
e-mail. OK, you know, I can't get
0:29
through all the fan mail, but I love the fan mail.
0:32
I think it's so cool. So I found this one on fat and
0:39
it is from our good friend Toad. We interviewed him about a year
0:44
ago. Super sweet man.
0:47
He's a 70 year old male slave. Oh, nice.
0:50
Yeah, so he said. Mr. Smea, I continue to love
0:54
listening to your podcast. The addition of Barbie as your
0:57
Co host is also a treat. Isn't that sweet?
1:01
Thank you. On one of your recent shows I
1:03
heard you mention if anyone had any ideas for shows to let you
1:08
know. Well here is mine.
1:10
It's true. I truly crave CBT in all forms.
1:15
Bondage, ball stretching, electrical slapping, kicking.
1:21
Unfortunately I was cursed with a tiny cock and small balls baby
1:26
right. Many times when I visited pro
1:28
doms it seemed like they really didn't know what to do with me
1:32
if it didn't fit into the ready made harnesses and things they
1:36
had on hand. On the other hand, I met some
1:39
who were very creative just using string and laces to tie
1:43
some intricate bondage right and creative ways to use so they
1:47
could stretch my balls. I'm sure you must get clients
1:50
with the same issue as mine and thought maybe at least some time
1:55
talking about ways you deal with it in your dungeon might be
1:58
helpful. I know for me sometimes it was a
2:01
disappointment if some doms just kind of gave up and moved on to
2:05
other things. Keep up the amazing work, your
2:08
slave toad. Oh, that's cute.
2:11
That's sweet. So he's not my slave, and I
2:15
think I just read that incorrectly, but regardless,
2:17
he's a slave. So, Toad, we love you.
2:20
All right, so I have a few ideas.
2:23
I know, Barbie, you love CBT. We talked.
2:27
About I've recently started to really like like it.
2:30
Very therapeutic. So what do you like to do with
2:33
it? I like to use like I haven't
2:36
done any needle play yet. I would like to, but I like
2:40
using vampire gloves and like pinwheels and stuff like that.
2:45
I also like how I'm very methodical with it.
2:48
I go very slow. Yeah, it's great though to do
2:51
that, honestly. And I've done CBT on like big
2:55
Dicks and small Dicks and flaccid Dicks.
2:58
You know it happens. Yeah.
3:00
You just got to work with what you have.
3:02
I mean, we in the dungeon, we have a cat collar that we put
3:05
around like the Dick and balls. It gets real tiny, you know,
3:08
right. But I feel like if you're
3:09
working and you're a pro Dom, you need to be like, able to
3:14
accommodate people who aren't, you know, standard, you know,
3:18
Dick size or bigger. Like, yeah, if you're a pro Dom,
3:22
then be a pro. Figure it out.
3:25
Figure it out. It's like.
3:26
Those people are coming to see you like, make it worth their
3:30
while. It's so crazy and it's, it's a
3:34
matter of I, I've told this to Barbie, you know, when you start
3:37
off, you got to be creative. I said, you know, go through the
3:39
cabinet, you know, use whatever you want.
3:42
I love to take wood spoons because of of how they're made.
3:46
I used one the other day. Yeah, and because of the curve
3:49
of that spoon, it's perfect for hitting.
3:51
Balls. Exactly.
3:53
Well also, it doesn't matter how small your Dick is, a clothespin
3:56
will always fit on it. Fuck yeah.
3:58
Well. Also you can always, I always
4:00
hit it no matter how small it is.
4:02
See, poke it, smack it with something.
4:05
Seriously. I like to use a flogger and just
4:07
hit the tip of it. So one of my friends actually
4:13
brought in something because I told him that I have a friend
4:17
who has a really small Dick. Like like little tiny.
4:20
Dick micro or like just tiny? Just tiny.
4:23
It's like 4 inches hard. OK.
4:25
And probably God, it's it's so it's the circumference is just
4:32
so sad. It's like less than a half
4:34
dollar. I mean, it's like, oh, it's like
4:37
a. Hot dog little.
4:39
Hot dog. There we go, Hot dog.
4:41
So anyway, he brings in this thing from Pampered Chef and
4:45
it's a latex tube and it's actually for garlic cloves.
4:52
You put the garlic cloves in it and you roll it around on your
4:56
hands because apparently there's little spikes inside of it.
5:00
Mushes up the garlic. Yes, and takes off the peeling.
5:04
He put his penis in there, yes. Yes, so I filled it with Lube
5:08
and then put his little Dick in it.
5:11
Was he just bleeding everywhere? No, no, it wasn't like that.
5:14
Oh, because the spikes were like there in itself is like spiky
5:19
silicone. Oh, so it was just like mushin
5:21
up garlic. Yeah.
5:21
It wasn't like cutting up. Yeah, I was imagining needles.
5:24
I was like, yeah, that's crazy. But anyway, he liked it, so
5:29
people need to be creative. Yeah, I mean, there's all sorts
5:33
of things you can be creative with.
5:35
I mean, you know, I'm a bit bigger.
5:37
And so sometimes, like, when it comes to me, like buying a
5:40
strap, you know, sometimes you got to be creative and you got
5:43
to add extra leather into your harnesses to make it like, fit
5:47
your hips and, you know, stuff like that.
5:49
And you know, a lot of BDSM is just making shit up it.
5:54
Is you know, I mean you can use rubber.
5:56
Bands, rubber bands, yeah, you can use.
5:58
Yeah, you can use a band gun at the Dick.
6:00
I mean, we've put rubber bands around somebody's Dick or Dick
6:03
head. Yeah, you know you can use.
6:05
You can scratch any size Dick. My question is like I get the
6:09
pre made harnesses but if you're relying on a, I'm not talking
6:13
bad on these protons, but like if you're relying on a pre made
6:16
harness to do the majority of your CBT then like the harness
6:20
just adds to it. It shouldn't be the whole thing,
6:23
you know? Very true.
6:25
Like the other day I wanted to tie a guy's Dick up because he
6:29
had a little bit of a smaller Dick and I wasn't quite that
6:32
small. But I couldn't find any string
6:35
and I couldn't find the cat collar, so I just put a bunch of
6:38
safety pins on it. Called them night.
6:40
Didn't you like the cat collar? I didn't.
6:42
I don't know where it. Is Oh, we'll get you another
6:44
one. I know I bought a bunch of
6:46
clothes pins today to bring to your dungeon.
6:49
Friday. Saturday.
6:50
My bad. That's OK.
6:52
You know, that's the other thing.
6:53
Oh, this is so funny. I went down to the AIDS clinic
6:56
because I like to go down there. I'll make a nice donation and
6:59
they give me this gigantic gallon bag of condoms.
7:03
Thank God we've been. Out of condoms, I know.
7:06
Literally I like would have to stop like a play session and I'm
7:10
like unsexual scrounging around for a condom.
7:14
So sorry. I'm like halfway into the slave
7:16
box because it's like it's like what, 3 1/2 feet off the ground?
7:20
So to bend down in it, my ass is just fully presented.
7:23
I'm like, I don't want to be best compromised.
7:25
I look like like, you know, stuck porn on porn.
7:28
Like I literally like I'm stuck. Like that's like literally how
7:31
I'm looking trying to find. This damn.
7:33
Contage. We need more of those Femidon
7:36
condoms because that's the only condom that fits on Doug.
7:39
So yes, that's true. We need just like a handful of
7:43
them since no one can really take Doug, but we need to be
7:46
prepared. We do need to be prepared,
7:47
you're right. Well, I'm thinking.
7:49
Next time I'm just Saran wrap that bitch.
7:54
You should. It has how we got to.
7:57
Describe it so it's like 12 inches long and has like a six
7:59
inch circumference, no? Yeah, I think it's even like 14
8:02
inches. It's a little taller than a.
8:04
Ruler. Yeah, in the circumference is
8:06
like the size of like a liter of soda.
8:08
Yeah, like a liter of Coke, at least.
8:10
It's 20 inches around. It's huge, yeah.
8:12
Like if you cut it down the middle, it'd probably be 6
8:14
inches from side to side. So I went down to the AIDS
8:18
clinic this morning and I met 3 new friends and they're actually
8:23
going to bring their AIDS van. OH.
8:26
My gosh, I almost booked. I wanted to book them for one of
8:28
my shows. Yeah, they're going to do AIDS
8:31
testings for. Us they they were at the event I
8:33
was at last night. Oh see, that is awesome.
8:37
I always people talk to them and see if they were interested in
8:40
coming by because the event I was at last night was a drag
8:44
event, so my event's a drag event.
8:46
So I think they do like LGBT and like kink events a lot.
8:48
Yeah. You know.
8:51
Well, these people are so super nice, you know, they're
8:54
volunteers themselves. And I said, hey guys, you know,
8:58
I'm Mr. Smea. I said I'm coming in.
9:01
I want to make a nice donation, but I I want a big bag of
9:04
condoms. I said, I'm having a big party
9:06
in October. And they say, oh, say no more,
9:08
say no more. And they went in, they got this
9:11
big old bag and they brought it out.
9:13
And they're like, oh, tell us more about the party.
9:17
So I told them all about the party and I said, you all just
9:19
want to come to the party. And they're like, yeah, can we
9:21
bring our van and we'll do AIDS testings for free.
9:24
Yeah. And I said, oh that would be
9:26
awesome. And the one chick was like.
9:29
It's a very discreet van too. OK, good.
9:32
Like. I was concerned.
9:33
If it was the van, I think I didn't go to it.
9:36
They just announced it over the mic.
9:38
And if it's what I think it is, it is literally, it looks like a
9:42
truck with like an attachment in the back.
9:45
And it's not, it's not like the blood bus.
9:48
There's blood on it. But if you want to be sure, I'd
9:50
call them and just be like, hey, before we bring that bus, can
9:54
you give it a, give me a descriptor?
9:56
Just 'cause that bus. Yeah, 'cause you could be, you
9:59
could tell them be like, I have some discreet people that are
10:02
coming. I don't know if I should bring
10:03
an AIDS bus. My neighbors might not like
10:06
that, right? So it was funny because the one
10:10
chick was like, well, you know, if someone feels uncomfortable
10:14
about getting in the van, you know, they can take take the
10:17
test and go inside and test it or they can do it at home.
10:20
It doesn't matter. And I said, well, you know, a
10:22
lot of people that come are submissive.
10:24
So if you say hey, get in the van, they're going to be like,
10:26
oh fuck yeah. They're.
10:28
Going to think they're going to get kidnapped but it's better
10:31
you're getting aid tested. Exactly.
10:34
All right, so we read our fun e-mail.
10:37
We did, and now we're going to talk about the BDSM test.
10:41
Yeah, the infamous BDSM test that everybody who is kinky and
10:46
isn't kinky take. I feel like I'm.
10:48
I remember being in high school and everyone taking it.
10:51
We're like 16. We don't know what any of this
10:53
shit is like. Really.
10:55
Yeah, I think I'm dominant. Shut the fuck.
10:59
But everyone knows this test. And I feel like you see like a
11:04
lot of people on Fetlife, they'll post their screenshots
11:07
of it or they'll copy and paste it and put it in their like bio
11:10
and stuff like that. So we thought we'd we'd talk
11:14
about the questions, maybe take it, see what answers we get.
11:17
Isn't that funny? OK, so let's do it Barbie.
11:19
We'll start with a few and let's see how far we get.
11:22
We'll read them off your phone because I think the questions
11:24
are randomized and so. OK.
11:27
I'll answer mine silently on my end, but I'll talk to you about
11:30
the questions. All right.
11:33
So the first one is I like to be dominated, especially in the
11:38
bedroom. Oh wait, I think we have the
11:40
same test. That's so good.
11:41
Oh, good. OK, so you have a, you have a
11:45
little sidebar basically, and red is absolutely disagree.
11:50
And then? Green.
11:51
So it's like basically you could be in between it's.
11:53
There you go. Ultimately, yellow is neutral.
11:56
So, so Barbie, do you like to be dominated, especially in the
12:00
bedroom? I think I.
12:01
Fall a bit into like the neutral zone to a little more.
12:06
No, OK. I mean, if we're talking about
12:10
like kink, like doing scenes, I like to be dominant.
12:14
But if we're talking about bedroom time specifically, I'm a
12:18
bit more flexible about who's in charge.
12:20
You know what I mean? I don't got to be in charge all
12:24
the time. So let's say I put mine down as
12:28
like just true neutral, you know, OK, what you put yours
12:31
down as. Well, you know, here's the
12:34
thing. Absolutely disagree.
12:40
OK, so I'm not against it, but you know, I've been with the
12:44
same partner for 14 years, so there's parts of me at times
12:50
where him dominating me on some level is sexy because he's sexy
12:56
as fuck. Yeah.
12:57
Especially when he's naked. It's just like, Oh yeah, yeah,
13:01
Daddy. OK, so just saying.
13:05
Clip that now clip it. We'll blackmail her with it
13:09
later. But but yeah, so I think
13:13
everybody has, you know, that one little side because it boils
13:17
down to trust, right? You know, because you can't just
13:20
trust anybody to make you feel submissive.
13:23
Right. And that's how I feel about it
13:24
too, where it's like it's fun being in charge, but then
13:27
sometimes you're like, I kind of just want to get wrecked and you
13:30
can't really do that while you're in charge.
13:34
That's how I feel about. It I'm really hoping Saturday
13:36
night you get that Dick, you get fucking wrecked.
13:39
I'm so prude. I'm like, Mia was telling me
13:42
earlier about some like, entanglement some of the people
13:45
in the scene are having. And she was like, well, so and
13:48
so, fuck so and so and then turn around and fuck so and so.
13:50
And I was sitting here clutching my pearls like, they what?
13:52
You're so cute. I was like, people can do that.
13:58
You're like a 70 year old. I was like, you can have sex
14:01
with more than one person in a day.
14:07
Oh my God, I was such a little prude.
14:09
But you had a nice side piece. OK, we're just.
14:13
Going to say it. Sexy man is coming to the party.
14:15
Oh my God, please wreck that Dick, Deep Throat it and do
14:19
dirty shit with it please. I'm a good Christian woman, Mia.
14:24
I will do no such thing you. Better be a dirty whore this
14:26
weekend. OK.
14:30
Next question. Next question, I like receiving
14:33
pain during sex or BDSM and seeing the results of it.
14:38
Marks, bruises, makeup, running tears, etcetera afterwards.
14:42
I put neutral again. Are you neutral on that?
14:45
Yeah, well, not, I'm not actually neutral on it.
14:47
I'm putting neutral because I also like it, but I don't like,
14:52
I don't like all of it. So I'm not a big on like like
14:56
receiving pain like from kink things, but I don't mind pain
15:00
from like, well, by king things, I mean like implements, but I
15:04
don't mind things like I like hickeys.
15:07
I do like when my makeup is running, you know, I like that
15:11
stuff, but not all of it. So I'm not necessarily the
15:13
biggest fan of getting bent over and hit with a paddle.
15:16
Same I have done it. Before I don't mind it, like
15:19
I'll, I do it like if like who I'm with is like really into it.
15:22
You know, sometimes you do things for your partners.
15:24
Oh fuck yeah. Yeah, but like, if someone's
15:26
like, oh, do you like getting whipped, it's going to be a no,
15:29
I'm a pussy. I can't.
15:31
You hit me. I'm going to start crying.
15:35
And now my makeup's running for bad reasons.
15:37
And I have seen we're not going to get through this test.
15:41
We talk so much. I've missed you.
15:45
It's been a a sad four days without you.
15:49
You've seen me. What?
15:51
I said I've missed you. It's been a sad four days
15:54
without you. Before I interrupted you, I
15:56
thought you said you seen me do something.
15:57
I've seen you tear some motherfuckers up in that
16:00
dungeon, I have. And then for you to say if I get
16:03
hit with a whip I'm gonna cry. Do you remember?
16:05
I hit myself with the big whip in your backyard.
16:08
I hurt my feelings. Fuck.
16:13
I was trying to learn how to like use a giant whip and I like
16:17
swung it and it came back and hit me perfectly on the ass
16:20
cheek and I was like, I wasn't actually crying.
16:24
I just, I don't know, I don't like it.
16:27
I do like hand spanking though, so maybe I'm a liar.
16:31
OK so the next question is I prefer making the sexual
16:34
decisions for my partner as it gives me more control.
16:37
I like that 'cause I'm bossy. Oh, catch it.
16:43
OK. Oh, sexual decisions for my
16:46
partner. Yeah, we're on the same page
16:48
with that. It's not even like a king thing.
16:50
I'm just a bitch. You're.
16:52
Not. A bitch my way or the highway?
16:55
You just like to be in control, so that's OK.
16:58
All right, The next one after that, I don't mind a little
17:02
playful resistance from my partner.
17:04
In the end, I'll win anyway. I don't mind resistance, but I'm
17:09
not a big fan of bratting and I have a feeling this question is
17:13
like talking about bratting and not talking about like, you
17:16
know, kind of fighting back a little bit.
17:20
Well, yeah, I'm like you, I think.
17:23
I think they're talking about bratting in general.
17:25
'Cause I mean, a little playful resistance is fun, 'cause well,
17:29
I, I don't mind like roughhousing with my partner.
17:32
I think that's fun. Like playfully like wrestling.
17:35
Yeah. That's like when you say playful
17:37
resistance, that's what I'm talking about.
17:39
That's fun, but I think that technically falls into primal.
17:43
Yeah, it could. Put that I'm going to fuck you
17:50
up. Oh my goodness.
17:54
OK, so the next one. Barbie read it.
17:58
I like forcing my partner into submission much more than them
18:01
submitting spontaneously. I don't know, I think because
18:07
I'm a little sensual, I like when they want to be submissive
18:11
like, but I also think that like is that a brat taming question
18:15
like do I don't know what that is I.
18:17
I think OK, I like forcing my partner into submission much
18:23
more than them submitting spontaneously.
18:25
Fall into like punishment. Maybe.
18:28
Maybe. A Big Punisher at all.
18:30
Like I like when my are. You sure?
18:33
Well, no, but like saying, Oh, I'm going to punish you for
18:36
this. Like I, I know I'll hit somebody
18:38
and I'll be like me and like, and all that kind of stuff
18:42
because they, they want me to, not because they earned it.
18:45
You know what I mean? More like I want them to ask for
18:47
it. I want you to beg for me to hurt
18:48
you. Like that's how I feel about.
18:50
It to me it sounds kind of rapey.
18:52
Yeah, it does. But at the same time I like
18:55
forcing my partner in submission.
18:57
See, my thing is I want them to beg for me to Dom them.
19:01
And so it's a little different where I'm like, I don't, I'm not
19:04
going to force you to do anything.
19:05
I'm a privilege. Be like I'm the fucking Barbie
19:10
bitch. Feeling physically overpowered
19:13
is one of my the most liberating sexual feelings.
19:17
It is again sounds like a rape victim.
19:20
Well, I think for me, like I've been on both ends of it because
19:24
I am a bit more of a switch. Don't tell the church, but I
19:29
have like I remember one time it was like really hot like me and
19:31
this guy I was like lovers with. We were like play fighting and
19:36
he like overpowered me and I was like immediately like, oh, are
19:40
we gonna are you gonna fuck me now?
19:42
And it wasn't even like sexy before then.
19:46
But the second he overpowered me, I was like, that's man.
19:48
I'm like, I'm a big old strong bitch.
19:51
And maybe I'm just into men who could best me in combat, you
19:55
know? Oh my God, Barbie.
19:57
And here she's like wiping her brow like all sexy.
20:00
Oh my God, okay. So physically overpowered, Yeah,
20:04
I don't get into that. I I don't mind physically
20:06
overpowering my partner. Obviously, specifically in the
20:10
bedroom, in the bed. We're about to have sex.
20:11
Don't overpower me anywhere else.
20:13
I'll lose it. I will fix.
20:15
I won't fight you. Anyway, that door has to be
20:18
shut, locked and no one can be watching before I submit to
20:21
somebody. OK, All right.
20:23
The next one is I would like to have sex with multiple people at
20:26
the same time. I like threesomes.
20:30
I've had, I've had one before. I want to have one with two men.
20:35
No one. Don't get excited.
20:37
I saw everyone in the podcast get excited.
20:41
OK, that can happen I. Just like to see boys kiss.
20:45
Oh, OK, yeah, you want to see the by thing?
20:46
Yeah, I'm by. Yeah, I don't often, yeah, mess
20:51
with straight guys. I got a straight one now but
20:55
I'll convert them. Are you a fan of threesomes or
20:59
anything? Oh fuck yeah.
21:00
I've done gangbangs. I've done I've done three ways
21:03
4. Ways two girl threesome like me,
21:06
another girl and this guy. It was really fun.
21:10
It was had some of the most my most erotic moments in my like
21:13
sexual history. It was, I just wasn't into the
21:16
girl that much. So I kind of just wasn't like,
21:20
it was my first time sleeping with a woman too.
21:22
So it was a little bit like a lot at once.
21:26
And I was just like, I look back and I'm like, I'm not mad it
21:30
happened, but if I was going to like have a threesome again, I'd
21:33
probably not do it the way I did it then.
21:35
But it was really fun though. I wish it was a girl I was
21:38
actually like interested in more though.
21:40
OK, so two stories. One is -1 that's positive.
21:44
I'm going to tell you this as just to share it with you.
21:47
So obviously I wasn't much older than you at the time, but my
21:52
friend, she, I told you, she kind of resembles you, you know,
21:56
big, blonde, attractive. Well, she, you know, she had a
21:59
sexy boyfriend. He really wasn't my type.
22:02
He's a Carlton, you know, and know it all.
22:06
Just kind of an ass. One time he corrected me in a
22:09
restaurant because I was condescending to the waitress.
22:12
I bite into the. Bone after she was rude to me
22:15
you know and I was like fuck you bitch, you know I told him that
22:18
not her but ultimately. That's funny.
22:24
I don't like him but my friend wanted to do a three-way with
22:28
him and I and I was like God I really don't like fucking my
22:32
friends. That's the issue there.
22:34
It seems like a double negative you.
22:35
Don't. Yeah, you don't do it, but
22:37
anyway. Ask someone who's a consistent
22:39
homie hopper. Don't fuck your friends.
22:41
So ultimately what happened was he wanted to pay more attention
22:45
to me because I was new as fresh meat.
22:47
Oh, she hated it. And she fucking hated it.
22:49
And always happened. It always happened.
22:51
But you never have threesomes with people your friends.
22:53
It didn't end well for me either because I was friends with this
22:56
girl and then she got close with me and this guy and and like me
23:01
and him weren't together. But it created issues because
23:04
she ended up like sleeping with him without me.
23:06
And then she felt really bad because she like felt like she
23:09
was sleeping with my boyfriend but we weren't dating but we
23:12
were together. It was really weird.
23:13
And we're not friends anymore. And I'm like not because of
23:17
that. There was other things, but like
23:19
that threesome didn't help it. Threesome did not help it and.
23:22
Also she was like a smoker and that spit was so gross.
23:27
Like he was into it because like he's getting to fuck 2 hot goth
23:31
girls. Let me tell you about this
23:33
motherfucker. He OK, let's do it.
23:36
He did not deserve this, so he had sex with two hot goth girls
23:41
who are both good at what we do. Then he got to wake up and get
23:47
like, as we're leaving his house, his friends drive up to
23:49
pick him up, to drive him to New Orleans so he can go to a
23:53
Paramore concert. And I'm like, you don't deserve
23:56
that. And Paramore is like this really
23:58
big like, band with like, alternative people.
24:00
Yeah. And I was like, he that was the
24:02
best 24 hours of his life. He got to fuck 2G bitches for
24:05
like 5 hours and then wake up and go see his favorite band of
24:09
all time. That.
24:10
Motherfucker did not deserve that right.
24:14
Fuck him. I look back and I was like, I
24:16
gave you the world. You have nothing without me.
24:22
So you and I both like to see Guy on Guy.
24:25
I do. I have two boys kiss.
24:28
OK, so. Ideally I'd have two boyfriends
24:30
and they'd kiss and I'd dress them as twins and they would do
24:33
all my chores. So, so I got to see Charles and
24:40
another dude this weekend and that was sexy.
24:45
That was sexy. I don't know, Charles.
24:48
Swing both ways. Oh.
24:49
Yeah, he's he's openly by, which is cool.
24:52
I feel like everyone should be by.
24:54
So it was great watching this other guy just go down on him.
24:56
So it was, it was fun. I liked watching.
24:59
But I will say that one of my hottest memories of two dudes
25:05
was I was dating a furry and and he had a boyfriend and it was
25:11
all open. We all kind of got it.
25:14
You know, the boyfriend, he'd never been with a woman.
25:17
He was very resistant. Yeah.
25:20
Gold Star, you know. Yeah, but ultimately we kind of
25:23
crossed him over a little bit because, you know, I did dirty
25:27
shit to both of them. And I mean, it was one hell of a
25:29
Oh my God, it was one hell of a time, honestly.
25:32
So just saying there's a lot of licking and oral and a lot of it
25:36
was fun me. And my friends, and this was
25:39
before I ever like, you know, like came to the dungeon or
25:42
anything, but we threw like a actually I'd been here before,
25:45
but it was before I was like doming.
25:47
But we threw like a very kinky themed Valentine's Day party.
25:52
And my guy friend came and there's this other guy friend of
25:55
ours that came and they're like the only boys in the whole
25:57
joint. And we were playing spin the
25:59
bottle and they landed on each other.
26:02
They start kissing. Well, then they start making
26:05
out. And then they lay on the floor.
26:06
And I tell you, every girl in the room, their eyes glassed
26:10
over and it was like those men were in danger.
26:12
Suddenly those men were in so much danger.
26:15
And it was just because like all the girls in the room are into
26:18
that. And I was like, they could have
26:19
had their pick in the night. They could have turned on and go
26:21
you, you and you, let's go, right?
26:24
It was so funny and that. Was awesome.
26:27
I know it was like it was so hot and then I just, it got quiet in
26:31
the room and every girl just like grabbed each other and
26:33
we're just like what's happening?
26:36
What's happening? Everything we've ever dreamed of
26:38
is happening. The boys are making out and
26:41
they're laying down making out. Oh my God, boys are kissing.
26:47
So did they get into it like you did?
26:49
Obviously. Well, they, they stopped making
26:51
out after a second, but it was because they weren't actually
26:54
going to like fuck each other or anything like that because we're
26:57
trying to spin the bottle. But we were all like.
27:03
That's so hot. Oh my God, I forgot we were
27:06
taking a test. Yeah.
27:08
Yeah, yeah, OK. It's going to get through the 8%
27:10
through and like 90% through the episode.
27:13
It's OK. It's OK.
27:14
All right, Let's just do this final page and then we'll do a
27:17
Part 2. Yeah.
27:18
All right, So the top. When people watch me being naked
27:23
and having sex, I really don't like.
27:25
It no same. I really do not like it.
27:28
We don't need fucking audiences. I don't, I don't, I don't even
27:31
like, even with people I've brought into the dungeon that
27:34
I'm like, I know that Mia's dog is lying really cute right now,
27:40
but it's so. Cute.
27:41
Even like guys I've brought into the dungeon that like I'm
27:45
actively like sleeping with, I still won't even like have them
27:48
naked during our scenes. I don't know like something
27:51
about it. Like I don't want these
27:52
motherfuckers to see me touch a Dick in public.
27:55
You don't get that for free. You're.
27:57
Like no shit I don't. I hate when they like, I don't
28:00
mind if like guys get off on me, but I'm not going to give you
28:02
good content to get off on me. If you're going to get off on
28:05
me, you're going to get off on me in my clothes.
28:07
Like that's how I feel about it. I don't, I don't know.
28:12
I don't like walking around naked.
28:14
I don't. We were just talking about this
28:16
before the episode started. It's so true.
28:19
I'm with you on that I. Don't know, but once again I am
28:23
prude. I'm the nun of this dungeon.
28:28
It's all right, read the next one.
28:30
Ideally I would command my partner and they'd obey me like
28:33
a puppet puppet. No matter what I tell them to
28:35
do. That's not my cup of tea.
28:39
I like when my partners have autonomy.
28:44
OK all. Right, right.
28:46
So I don't like sexual, I don't like to make sexual decisions.
28:50
I prefer my part to partner to make them for me.
28:53
I feel like these questions are hard because I feel like when
28:56
I've been interacting with people, I've never felt like I
28:59
was consciously making decisions for them or that they were
29:02
consciously making decisions for me.
29:04
You know what I mean? Yeah.
29:05
Like, I just feel like it's like a collaboration thing, so it's
29:08
hard to answer. It's like, well, even when I'm
29:12
like quote, UN quote subbing or submissive, I'm still making
29:15
decisions. Like I'll still be like, oh,
29:17
let's switch positions or like, let's do something else, you
29:20
know? Yeah, I don't like that.
29:22
I really don't. All right?
29:25
I love making my partners do really disgusting things purely
29:29
for my own pleasure. No, there's not really much
29:32
disgusting things that would bring me pleasure.
29:34
Right, like. What?
29:37
Oh, I mean, I I don't know, I think it depends on like what
29:40
you consider disgusting. I will say I did.
29:44
I I know I've referenced him a few times this episode, but like
29:46
my previous lover, he one time we were fucking this little TMI,
29:51
sorry guys, and he like came on my ass and then he'd licked it
29:55
off and something about it was just so depraved that it was
30:00
hot. But maybe it was just I hadn't
30:03
had post nut clarity yet. But like post nut.
30:07
Clarity. You never heard?
30:10
Of that, Oh my God, that's great.
30:12
But like, he licked it off and it was like so gross and so
30:15
depraved, but like, I liked it 'cause I was like, you like me
30:18
that much, you're going to lick your own cum off my ass.
30:21
OK? Like, that's awesome.
30:24
Something about it was hot. But I will say like having a guy
30:27
like lick your boot is hot, but that's not, I know kink bitches
30:32
are like oh, that's not disgusting.
30:33
They're probably talking about like eating shit or like
30:36
vomiting or something like crazy you.
30:37
Never know like. For me, I don't know, licking a
30:39
boots pretty gross so, but that's kind of hot.
30:43
It is, it is so I heard that our two friends when they fucked
30:49
yesterday, they ended up when he came in her ass.
30:54
In her ass. Yes, he licked it clean after
30:58
woo woo. But my cum wasn't in my ass, it
31:05
was on my ass and that is a big difference.
31:08
I wouldn't have said anything, but you're telling your story
31:11
about it. No, I can't judge him, right?
31:14
That's great. I've also swallowed cum so like
31:17
what am I going to say? Oh my God, dudes cum Oh.
31:23
Jesus Christmas, the first time I gave a blowjob it was so gross
31:26
and I literally thought all cum was going to taste like that and
31:29
then like like whenever I ended up like losing my virginity and
31:33
stuff I was like oh that kid was just dehydrated or something.
31:36
Yes, thank you. I haven't had any problems with
31:39
since then though. Yeah, but I get lucky.
31:42
I get lucky with these clean. Guys, I was going to say, you're
31:45
sexy man. Did you take his own cum yet?
31:47
In your mouth? No, Do it.
31:52
He's he's not very into head. For him, he.
31:55
Doesn't like receiving it. He doesn't do that much for him,
31:58
he says. Wow.
32:00
OK, he. Likes giving it but like not
32:02
really receiving and I'm not going to complain about it.
32:04
I mean, I personally do like giving guys head, but like, hey,
32:09
I'm not going to go out of my way to do it.
32:12
Yeah, I gotcha. OK, what's the next question,
32:15
Barbie? I'm willing to do anything once,
32:18
even if I don't think I'll like it.
32:20
Probably not. I think there's a few things I
32:22
know I won't like. Okay, yeah, I was going to say
32:27
to me as long as it doesn't involve anything like hurting
32:30
someone, you know, that they didn't want or, you know, just
32:33
I'm. Assuming this is stuff like
32:34
done, I interpreted the question like it's something going to be
32:38
done. To me, yeah, I'm thinking that
32:40
too. And yeah, but I wouldn't
32:42
necessarily say. If someone was like, can I piss
32:44
on you? I would be like, no, I know I'm
32:46
not going to like that. I wouldn't really try it because
32:49
I'm like, I don't need to try it.
32:50
I know I don't want to get pissed off.
32:55
Not even some shit, just. A little nugget.
32:59
Now, if somebody was like, can I hit you with this?
33:04
Maybe. I'd say yes.
33:06
It's depending on how funny it would be.
33:11
I don't know if Ruby pulled out her rubber whip with the wheel
33:14
pinwheels death on the end of it and said, can I hit you with
33:16
this? I'd be like, no, I know I'm not
33:18
going to like that. Right.
33:21
OK, physically restricting my partner during sex or BDSM with
33:27
clothes, attributes, robe, rope, chains, etcetera is arousing,
33:33
Yeah. Yeah, duh.
33:34
Yeah, that's a dumb question. Duh, duh.
33:37
Stupid test. Of course we like that.
33:40
I like to physically pin them down.
33:43
I grabbed them a hose by the wrist.
33:45
We just need to call you like Russell Barbie.
33:48
I had, I had some people contact me about doing some wrestling
33:52
sessions and I would have done it, but I, I did ask them.
33:55
I was like going to have to ask them like, is this something you
33:57
want to win or do you want me to actually try?
34:00
That's two different outcomes. 1 outcome's going to be infinitely
34:03
more sexier than the other because if I'm trying, I'm
34:08
showing up in a singlet. Like, Oh my God.
34:11
With a mouth guarding. Oh my God.
34:15
OK, all right, remember you said that I'm going to show you a
34:20
clip from a show so we can talk about going to.
34:23
Request me in a singlet. Oh my God, no.
34:28
Guys, don't make me wear a singlet please.
34:30
It won't compliment my figures all right.
34:33
Last question for the day, Barbie.
34:35
Last question, that is 8% through this test.
34:38
Yes. OK I like sending nude or sexual
34:42
picture slash videos to others. Pictures yeah.
34:46
Videos no. OK but like like a titty pic or
34:50
an ass pic? I don't take vagine pics.
34:53
OK. You know my vagina is not meant
34:56
to be photographed. She's an in person cat.
35:00
Sorry guys. No, I did have sexy guy.
35:04
I was being so mean to, he was away for, you know, some work
35:10
stuff. So he had like barely any
35:12
Internet access. He's in like a shared room with
35:15
a bunch of people he's working with.
35:16
So he can't like, do a lot. And he was texting me and he was
35:22
so incredibly horny. And I'm just laying in bed
35:26
having a good time. I'm just chilling and he's like
35:29
texting me and I was like send me a pic and he's like, well, I
35:32
can't, there's other people. I said send me a pic.
35:34
He's like, what do I get in return?
35:35
I said I might send you a video or I said I might.
35:39
I said I might send you something back.
35:40
And then he was talking about a video because I told him I was
35:43
going to buy a vibrator and he's like, oh, I want to see a video
35:45
of you using it. I said I've never sent a video.
35:49
He sent me pictures and he said where's mine?
35:51
I said, oh, I'm not sending you anything.
35:55
You are terrible. I think I did end up sending him
35:58
like an ass pic or something. And the poor, sweet little boy.
36:03
He was grateful. With his big old cock.
36:07
He was grateful for his ass pic and then he was like no videos.
36:11
I said no videos. Oh my goodness, my puppy and I
36:18
have such a great connection that she will wink at me when
36:23
she knows I'm talking to her. She.
36:24
Was getting in my face and licking me in the.
36:26
Face. She is the sweetest, kindest
36:28
little soul. I love her so much.
36:30
She's such a good girl. I love you, Twyla.
36:33
My puppy she's she's bad anxiety so if me and my dad are talking
36:40
and me and him are like talking shit or like we're talking about
36:43
something that upsets us if we're not using happy tone, she
36:47
starts getting stressed and thanks for fighting and she'll
36:50
start be like and she'll start wagging your tail and crawling
36:54
up to us licking and she's like don't.
36:55
Fight. Don't.
36:57
Fight we're like, we're just talking shit Rosie, chill out
37:02
and. She's like, oh, the horse dogs
37:07
are just the coolest thing ever. And it really.
37:09
Has like 2 brain cells that bump into each other sometimes so
37:12
he's like I like rocks. Oh my God.
37:18
OK, so we have subjected the listeners once again to our
37:22
nonsense. All right?
37:24
Are we ready? You're welcome, by the way.
37:26
You're welcome, listeners. OK, so Barbie and I also have a
37:31
proposal. Please, if anyone listens to us
37:34
on Apple or Spotify, if you really enjoy our show, and we
37:38
hope you do, I had a lovely little motherfucker decide that.
37:44
Well, two people. I've pissed off two people over
37:46
the years. And people.
37:47
That got pissed off at her, not even people that she
37:49
necessarily. Pissed thank you thank you and
37:52
they decided they were going to leave us nasty reviews he.
37:55
Literally changed his review from positive to negative just
37:59
to be a Dick. Exactly.
38:01
Exactly. But you know what's interesting?
38:03
On certain sites where it posts the review, other than Apple, it
38:08
shows the same screen name for both.
38:11
So that's really. Funny yeah also the negative
38:14
review is very personal It doesn't have anything to do
38:17
about the podcast so that. Let's make it really funny.
38:19
Thank you is a mean person and it's like that she's a.
38:23
Lie. It's a fake.
38:25
She make fun of you? Yeah, kind of the job like that
38:30
kind of comes in the territory. Only in the session, Barbie.
38:34
Only in the session. Oh, I mean all the time.
38:37
But yeah, if you like us, give us five stars.
38:40
Leave us a nice. Room for you.
38:42
Yes, I think that'd be nice. You got to keep us around
38:45
because we get too many bad ruse.
38:46
You know Spotify's going to take us down.
38:49
Do it. Fuck.
38:52
Be mean to Emilia. They want it.
38:53
Yeah, you fucking whores get your shit and hear.
38:56
Five stars. We want 5 motherfucking stars.
39:02
Rate US now, compliment us in the comments.
39:05
Bitch, do it. If you don't, I'm gonna fight
39:10
you. I know you like that, you freak.
39:15
Fuck. OK.
39:16
All right, the. Episode of Get riled up.
39:18
You can get riled up. All right, so until then, may
39:23
all your fantasies become. Reality.