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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Hey everyone, Emily Body here. You are listening to another
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: episode of Five Minute Friday from Hurdle. What's up?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Hello? Hi?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Wow, Last five Minute Friday here in the studio for
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. Although I am doing loads of
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: preparation to gear up to get out of town. Literally
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: on Monday, I'm heading out to do some work in
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Italy before heading over to Berlin and running the marathon,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: and then going to October Foss and then actually going
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: back to Italy. It's gonna be a hectic, but fun
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: and rewarding and exciting couple of weeks, and I'm really
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: feeling I'm just ready for it. You know. I think
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the thing about training for a marathon is it does
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: take such an opportunity cost. It requires so much sacrifice
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: in pursuit of a goal. And when you have a
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: strong why and a strong foundation, strong reason for going
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: after whatever it is that you're after, then that opportunity
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: cost doesn't really feel all that dramatic. It just feels necessary.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: This time around, yes, it's felt necessary, but it's certainly
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: been a tad challenging to make sure that I'm doing
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: all the things that I need to do in preparation
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: for this race, while prioritizing my business as well and traveling,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: and also the pain that kind of comes with investing
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: in myself. I know that I want to invest in myself,
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  Speaker 1: but financially monetarily, this is the most money that I
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: have ever spent on myself when it to regular physical
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: therapy and body work and using different recovery modalities and acupuncture,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you name it, so I feel like it's worth it.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I definitely had to get to a place where I
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: felt more comfortable investing in myself, and I know after
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: my last physical therapy appointment that it was the best
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: choice that I could have made. Before I walked out
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  Speaker 1: on Tuesday from my last session, my PT Luke said
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to me that my body is in a better place
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  Speaker 1: now after three months of marathon training than it was
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: when I started, and that really is a testament to
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: just how worthwhile that investment has been. Even though, like
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I said, definitely the biggest spend category in my budget,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be happy to recoup some of those funds. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: I'm rambling about this. This is not what I actually
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk to you about today. What I actually
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  Speaker 1: wanted to talk to you about today is the fact
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  Speaker 1: that I said goodbye to my childhood home in Trumble
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: earlier this week. I grew up in Connecticut, in Trumble, Connecticut,
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  Speaker 1: and my parents, my mom and my dad, when they
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: were still together, they moved into that house in Trumble
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  Speaker 1: where I was brought up almost thirty seven years ago.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: And so my dad still lives there with his girlfriend,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: and they are finally selling it. And I believe that
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: this may happen before I have another opportunity to get
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: back to Connecticut with the trouble that I have on deck,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: and so I made it a priority for me to
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: get back before heading out. And I did a lot
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: of mental preparation thinking about what it might be like
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: saying goodbye to that house, and I felt really at
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: peace with the entire process. I actually it's so understandable.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've moved I don't know, maybe eight times
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  Speaker 1: in the last fifteen years. Am I to tell my
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: father that he should be staying in the place that
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: he has been living for thirty seven I think a
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: fresh start is good for everyone, and so I really
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: supported this decision. And like I said, I felt at
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: peace when I got there that evening earlier this week,
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  Speaker 1: I spent the night. I woke up the next morning.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I was feeling sentimental, but not necessarily like sad or
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: actually crying. And it wasn't until my mom came to
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: pick me up at the house and I saw both
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: of my parents together. They get along great, and I
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: was just like, wow, I guess this is really hitting me.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And we took a photo in the driveway and I
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: realized that I was actually leaving, and I get into
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  Speaker 1: the car with my mom and I just silently lost it.
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  Speaker 1: I remember she's talking about random things and we're just
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  Speaker 1: kind of, you know, going through the motions and having
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: a conversation and I'm almost trying to hide that I'm
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: feeling some kind of way. And we pull into a
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  Speaker 1: diner in the center of town and we get out
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  Speaker 1: of the car and I just look at her and
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, with tears in my eyes, this is really sad.
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  Speaker 1: And we had like the most wonderful, i don't know,
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  Speaker 1: minute long hug in the parking lot of this diner
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  Speaker 1: that was not there when I was growing up, and
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  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I guess it's time to make
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: some new memories. And we will and as emotional as
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: this experience is and was on that day, what I'm
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: reminded of truly is that home really is a feeling
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  Speaker 1: and home for me over the last two decades has
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  Speaker 1: looked very different at many different times, but the consistent
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  Speaker 1: for me what makes home feel so beautiful no matter
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  Speaker 1: where it is is the people in the community that's
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: around it. For me, home is community, Home is love,
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  Speaker 1: and I know that there is no shortage of love
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  Speaker 1: in my life and we will make new memories and
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  Speaker 1: exchange and shair in so much love in the new
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  Speaker 1: home that my dad is moving into. I'd also be
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  Speaker 1: remissify it and say that this whole experience has me
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: like really thinking about the concept of home and the
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: home that I want to create for myself. I am
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: not in the place to buy a home just yet,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: but like when I walk into my home that I
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: am renting right now in Brooklyn, I have an even
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: bigger sense of pride knowing that this home is so
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  Speaker 1: special to me because I have invested in it, because
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  Speaker 1: it is mine, because it is something that I have created.
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  Speaker 1: And I think that's another foundational aspect of what makes
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  Speaker 1: home so special is looking at a place and thinking
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  Speaker 1: about the memories that you have. They're reflecting on the
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: different journeys that I have been on. When I stare
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: at my bookshelves and I see the different mementos from
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  Speaker 1: the different experiences that I've had, all of them so beautiful,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: some of them easier than others. Home for me, yes,
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  Speaker 1: it's a feeling, but it is something also that is
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  Speaker 1: mine to build, and I think that's exciting as I
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: think about, hypothesized dream about what my own home ownership
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: journey will look like in the coming years. My question
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: for you when you think about home, what do you
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: think of? When you think about home? What do you
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: think of? And now a listener question.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Hi, Emily, this is Dan. I recently discovered your show
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: and I'm really enjoying it. A lot of us are
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: now getting brought back into the office after working remotely
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: for several years and have had really good fitness journeys
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: because of the flexibility at home. What would you recommend
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: to somebody who's now having to go back to the
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: office and doesn't have that same flexibility about some tips
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: on ways to kind of keep up with fitness journey.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Hey, Dan, thanks for calling in. Yeah, it's totally understandable
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  Speaker 1: that there is a little bit of frustration and friction
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: around the fact that you have to adapt from a
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: routine that seems to have really been working for you.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: With that said, there is a lot of opportunity in
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: re establishing what your movement practice will look like going forward.
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  Speaker 1: So first and foremost, I would encourage you to ask yourself,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: what are the activities that bring me the most joy?
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  Speaker 1: Because the research shows that if you are moving in
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  Speaker 1: a way that you really like, then you are more
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  Speaker 1: likely to keep up with it. So identify what active
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  Speaker 1: modality is the thing that really lights you up. Maybe
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: it's weightlifting, maybe it's kettlebells, maybe it is gosh yoga
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: or running or cycling, whatever it may be. Start there. Then,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: once you've identified the activity that brings you joy, something
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: that you really can look forward to doing, ask yourself,
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  Speaker 1: where is it feasible within my routine that I can
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  Speaker 1: add this in? And understand that it may not be
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: the most convenient now, right, you were talking about having
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: so much flexibility before, so making movement a priority is
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: going to look a little bit different now. It's going
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: to require you to make the time for it. So
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: when you look at your calendar, be realistic with yourself
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  Speaker 1: about how you can slot this in, and you're slotting
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  Speaker 1: your movement break in just like a meeting. Maybe it's
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  Speaker 1: trying to get used to doing this first thing in
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  Speaker 1: the morning, and knowing as you slot this in like
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  Speaker 1: a meeting, that you may need to put in a
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  Speaker 1: buffer around this movement so that you're properly giving yourself
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  Speaker 1: enough time to get it done. That buffer is going
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: to give you less excuses if you plan for it. Otherwise,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: you'll wake up in the morning you'll see that you
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: plot it in I don't know, forty minutes to move
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  Speaker 1: knowing that you also need to get dressed during that period.
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  Speaker 1: You also need to shower for your job, and all
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: of a sudden you've got twenty minutes and it feels
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  Speaker 1: completely unobtainable. That is what we want to avoid. The
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  Speaker 1: more decision making that you can take out of getting
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  Speaker 1: in this activity, the less decision fatigue you will experience,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: and the more likely you are to keep up with it.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Two more things to add in here. If it is
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  Speaker 1: possible to indulge in movement with a friend, a colleague,
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  Speaker 1: whoever it may be, that's going to give you an
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  Speaker 1: accountability buddy, and that's going to make it more of
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  Speaker 1: a social opportunity, which may make you more likely to
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  Speaker 1: show up. So maybe regular movement is you trying out
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  Speaker 1: an intermural league. You know a lot of people that
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: do that here in New York. Or perhaps it's booking
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: a once weekly cycling class with colleagues and trying something new.
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  Speaker 1: Sweat working is all of the rage, so getting other
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  Speaker 1: people involved will help hold you accountable and keep you moving.
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  Speaker 1: And then the last thing I will say is that
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  Speaker 1: it also starts with understanding and firmly believing that you
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  Speaker 1: are worthy of this time for yourself. You are worthy
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  Speaker 1: of your own investment. Think about how you feel after
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  Speaker 1: you move. I guarantee you feel better, You feel more capable,
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  Speaker 1: you feel more prepared to handle whatever is going to
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  Speaker 1: come your way that day. So, whether you are a
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  Speaker 1: first thing in the morning kind of sweat person, or
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  Speaker 1: you need to schedule it in in the middle of
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: a time block during the day or after work, whenever
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  Speaker 1: you're getting after it, remind yourself that you deserve this,
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  Speaker 1: that you deserve to fill up your own cup that
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: you cannot pour from an empty cup. And like they say,
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  Speaker 1: it's so critical for you to put on your own
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: oxygen mask before you can help those around you, and
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: by doing so, you'll be a better friend, partner, teammate, colleague,
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  Speaker 1: you name it. I hope that was helpful, and as always,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: hit me with your listener questions. I want to answer
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: them on the next show. The link to do that
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: is in the show notes. And if for some reason
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: you have issues with the platform it happens from time
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: to time, email submissions are totally valid and wonderful, so
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: feel free just to record a voice note on your
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: cell phone and then shoot it over in an email
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: to us over at Hello at Hurdle dot us. That's
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: it for this week. Thanks for listening everyone, Another Hurdle conquered.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.