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S2 E20 - Bad Luck is Not Funny · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Previously on the Steve and Jeff show.
0:02
SPEAKER_03: Breaking news.
0:03
SPEAKER_02: It's upsetting.
0:05
SPEAKER_02: It's uplifting.
0:06
SPEAKER_02: It's appalling.
0:07
SPEAKER_02: Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?
0:10
SPEAKER_01: Hey, hey, Steve, Jeff, how are you?
0:12
SPEAKER_01: Everybody just started calling me Crash.
0:15
SPEAKER_02: Crash Davis.
0:16
SPEAKER_02: Crash Davis.
0:17
SPEAKER_02: All right.
0:17
SPEAKER_02: Crash Davis.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: How many of these crashes did you actually cause?
0:25
SPEAKER_01: They invite me to their Christmas parties.
0:27
SPEAKER_03: Do you have to go through like a metal detector to get in?
0:29
SPEAKER_01: Sit close, drink heavily, and you got a 70% chance of surviving the 10% chance that you have of crashing.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: Magnificent.
0:38
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, let's face it.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: I look more like Leo.
0:43
SPEAKER_03: That was Johnny.
0:44
SPEAKER_03: Johnny Daphne.
0:45
SPEAKER_03: Hard to sneak up on people, isn't it?
0:46
SPEAKER_03: It is.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: Repetitiously redundant.
0:48
SPEAKER_03: We hardly knew ye.
0:50
SPEAKER_03: Steve, you may want to break the glasses.
0:52
SPEAKER_03: Right, people.
0:53
SPEAKER_03: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:58
SPEAKER_03: And now here's Steve and Jeff.
1:01
SPEAKER_03: Well, thanks, Johnny.
1:02
SPEAKER_03: And Jeff, it is just so great to be back in, well, almost back in the studio.
1:07
SPEAKER_03: We're in the little studio again.
1:09
SPEAKER_03: We're getting there, Jeff.
1:10
SPEAKER_03: Baby steps.
1:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, how's it going, Steve?
1:12
SPEAKER_03: Funny you should ask, Jeff.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: This past weekend, the weekend was it was illuminating.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: It was irritating.
1:18
SPEAKER_03: It was it was irrigating.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: It was instigating.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: It was it was insulating.
1:22
SPEAKER_03: Cut to the chase.
1:23
SPEAKER_03: My cousin died.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God, Steve.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm so sorry.
1:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, and you know, she always has such a tough life.
1:30
SPEAKER_03: Bad stuff kept this always would happen to her.
1:32
SPEAKER_03: Everything that could go wrong with her did.
1:34
SPEAKER_03: She was like the Peter principal.
1:37
SPEAKER_03: Peter, the female version of Peter principal.
1:39
SPEAKER_03: Patrice.
1:40
SPEAKER_03: Patrice principal.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: There you go.
1:42
SPEAKER_03: It was almost like she was cursed.
1:43
SPEAKER_03: I mean, she she didn't have any friends.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: I mean, she was okay.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: She was my mom's sister's daughter.
1:50
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:50
SPEAKER_03: I know I get lost too.
1:52
SPEAKER_03: But so, you know, we were cousins and all didn't have any friends.
1:55
SPEAKER_03: She'd hang out with my mom, and you know, and and I'd see her, you know, or she was married, but her husband left her for a younger woman, you know, and then and then and then they got divorced too.
2:05
SPEAKER_03: So it's like it totally didn't work out for him, even either, you know.
2:09
SPEAKER_03: She worked at a factory for 30 years, and the factory burns down.
2:14
SPEAKER_03: Jeez.
2:15
SPEAKER_03: And you know, so she said, well, at least I got my retirement, you know.
2:18
SPEAKER_03: But oh no, no, she lost her 401k too.
2:21
SPEAKER_03: You know why?
2:22
SPEAKER_03: Because she invested in, I don't know if you're old enough to remember this, Jeff.
2:25
SPEAKER_03: Well, of course you are, but there's a there was this dietary diet aid uh called AIDS.
2:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a Y D S.
2:33
SPEAKER_03: Like this.
2:33
SPEAKER_03: These little chocolate things, yeah.
2:35
SPEAKER_03: You'd eat them, and then you need one or two of them, and then you wouldn't be that hungry.
2:39
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, well, unfortunately, you know, boy, what a great concept before acquired immune deficiency syndrome.
2:48
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
2:49
SPEAKER_03: It really that kind of wiped it out.
2:51
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that that that dietary supplement, no more.
2:54
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, gone, gone.
2:55
SPEAKER_03: No, nobody's gonna buy a box of AIDS, you know what I'm telling you?
2:58
SPEAKER_03: Right.
2:59
SPEAKER_03: So, so she tried to have kids, and you know, she tried in vitro and nothing worked.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: And the in vitro, I you know, the Italian is just gave her indigestion, is all.
3:08
SPEAKER_03: And you know, she just really had just a lot of bad luck in her life.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: God, Steve, I am so sorry.
3:14
SPEAKER_02: Can I ask what she had?
3:16
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, some jewelry, an old RCA TV, a little bank account.
3:20
SPEAKER_03: Uh no, I mean, what did she die of?
3:23
SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh, oh, oh, well, that was bad luck too.
3:26
SPEAKER_03: She was visiting, you know, my mom, and we were over there, we were having knocking back the pop off, you know, we were throwing down the vodkas, and mom wanted to try something a little different for dinner.
3:35
SPEAKER_03: Because, you know, we'll get tired of the mac and cheese.
3:37
SPEAKER_03: So she said, you know, she had some some potatoes down in the cellar.
3:42
SPEAKER_03: So she told her, she told my cousin, hey, go down, pick up the potatoes, we'll we'll make some meatloaf and potatoes, right?
3:48
SPEAKER_03: It's comfort food, but it's not mac and cheese.
3:50
SPEAKER_03: So it's a change of pace, it's a change of comfort food, you know.
3:54
SPEAKER_03: She goes down the stairs, picks up these, you know, big bag of potatoes.
3:58
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, 30-pound bag or something.
4:00
SPEAKER_03: She's coming up, slips on one of the stairs, falls, breaks her neck.
4:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh my God, that is bad luck.
4:06
SPEAKER_03: What did you do?
4:06
SPEAKER_03: Well, we had the mac and cheese instead, you know, because potatoes, yeah.
4:10
SPEAKER_03: We we didn't think it was right to eat the potatoes, you know, after all that.
4:14
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, we just ate mac and cheese.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: So nothing worse than bruised potatoes, you know, Steve.
4:18
SPEAKER_03: But you know, though, Jeff, that really started me thinking about bad luck.
4:22
SPEAKER_03: And you know, it's funny.
4:23
SPEAKER_03: I mean, with St.
4:24
SPEAKER_03: Patrick's Day coming up, they always talk about the luck of the Irish.
4:27
SPEAKER_03: I gotta tell you, my cousin was 75% Irish.
4:30
SPEAKER_03: There's some luck for you, right?
4:32
SPEAKER_03: Falls down a friggin' stairs with a bag of potatoes.
4:35
SPEAKER_03: Oh, there's the luck of the Irish.
4:36
SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you right there.
4:37
SPEAKER_03: But I digress, Jeff.
4:38
SPEAKER_03: Some people just seem to have bad luck, just bad things seem to keep happening to them, you know.
4:44
SPEAKER_03: I was reading this article, you know.
4:46
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you know this, Jeff, but maybe because of my mom.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: I occasionally read the Peoria Gazette.
4:51
SPEAKER_03: Is that still around?
4:52
SPEAKER_03: Funny you should ask, Jeff.
4:54
SPEAKER_03: It actually went out of business.
4:55
SPEAKER_03: I read the this was the last issue that I was reading.
4:59
SPEAKER_03: It was the last issue of the Peoria Gazette I was reading.
5:02
SPEAKER_03: And I was reading about this woman that had just had a whole series of bad luck, like a lifetime of bad luck.
5:07
SPEAKER_03: And it kind of reminded me of my cousin.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: And I thought, you know, it'd be nice if I could get her on the show.
5:13
SPEAKER_03: And Jeff, you know what?
5:15
SPEAKER_03: Just the other side of that glass.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: We've got the lady who has had a lifetime, decades of bad luck.
5:22
SPEAKER_03: Her name, Jeff, you're not gonna believe this.
5:24
SPEAKER_03: Her name, Billy Cosby.
5:26
SPEAKER_03: We can start with that, right?
5:28
SPEAKER_02: Let's start with this.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: Good luck for us.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the show, Miss Cosby.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Oh, just call me Billy.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm just so excited to be here.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: I really hope that having me on the show does not bring bad luck to you guys.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you you've got millions of listeners, you've got a great show going here.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: And I I'm really hoping I don't bring any bad luck your way.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: I don't believe in that stuff.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: I feel like people make their own luck, and I just feel like things happen occasionally, but it all balances out.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: You know, I believe in the end, don't you, Steve?
6:00
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm not a believer in bad luck.
6:02
SPEAKER_03: I believe in cold hard science and ancient superstition.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: I think you put those two together and you've really I think that explains the whole bad luck thing.
6:11
SPEAKER_03: I don't think bad luck exists.
6:12
SPEAKER_03: But you know, I Jeff, as I say that, it looks like our my control panel here looks like it went out.
6:19
SPEAKER_03: Uh wow.
6:20
SPEAKER_03: But I digress.
6:21
SPEAKER_03: Uh but anyway, Billy, you if there is such a thing as bad luck, which I don't think there is, no, but if there is, you certainly don't seem like somebody that would bring bad luck to someone.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: I hope I don't bring bad luck.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: I I I've had some incidences of bad luck in my life, but maybe it's superstitious.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's I'm just superstitious.
6:40
SPEAKER_03: As we get started here, I gotta ask you about that name, your last name, and well, really your first name too, for that matter.
6:46
SPEAKER_03: It's like, are you related to you know that guy?
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Cosby's my husband's name, or oh okay, my my late husband's name.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: My maiden name is Capecne.
6:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, yeah, another kind of well-known name.
7:04
SPEAKER_02: Are you related to the Copecknies and the Kennedy?
7:08
SPEAKER_02: Mary's Mary Jo Capeckney.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Mary Jo, yeah.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: Mary Jo was my cousin.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: She she great, just great friend.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: I was actually the one that introduced her to Ted Kennedy.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: I made the introduction.
7:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was oh man, that's really bad.
7:26
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's very unfortunate that you would have made that introduction.
7:31
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: At the time it seemed like a great idea.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: This whole narrative about bad luck.
7:37
SPEAKER_02: I just I just don't believe it.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: But I know what you mean.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh I do think sometimes bad things happen, but I don't think it's related to good luck or bad luck.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: And you you seem like a very lucky person.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: Lucky, yeah.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I did meet Bill Cosby.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you did?
7:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: So after Jack and I got married, his PR person or assistant, I'm not sure, but they called me and they said, Hey, Mr.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Cosby would you know like to meet you?
8:04
SPEAKER_00: You kind of share a name, Bill Cosby, Billy Cosby.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: Makes sense.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: So I uh I went over to his house.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: I don't really remember much.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like a little hazy, but I could probably just because he's so famous, you know, dad is great, he gave me some chocolate cake.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: I mean, who doesn't love Bill Cosby?
8:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure that meaning went fine.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure it was great.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:32
SPEAKER_02: Along with that coincidence, did your husband ever meet uh Mr.
8:35
SPEAKER_02: Cosby?
8:36
SPEAKER_00: My husband is a my husband was a plumber and pipes break all the time.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: So the Cosbys actually reached out to him and uh he went and did a job over there.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: Funny enough, though, he didn't really remember it either.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: He said it was kind of a little hazy, a little foggy.
8:53
SPEAKER_02: It was a long time ago.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: It was it was a while back, yeah.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: And you know, he ended up having to go to the doctor afterwards, he just wasn't feeling himself terrible.
9:06
SPEAKER_02: It's an amazing story, but on the bright side, and this is again an example of maybe some good luck, is that you found love in your life?
9:14
SPEAKER_02: A lot of people don't, they go through their whole life and they never find love.
9:17
SPEAKER_02: That's really what counts.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I did love Jack, but if we're really talking about the loves of our life, Bruce.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: Bruce, my first love was really Bruce.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: What did Bruce do for a living?
9:36
SPEAKER_00: He was a singer in a nightclub.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: My my mom said he just he she said you you gotta marry someone with a trade.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Artists, they're not gonna be providers, so I had to pass on Bruce.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: Wow, yeah.
9:54
SPEAKER_03: You know, you know though, Billy, I hard to say if your life would have been better because maybe maybe you weren't born to run.
10:03
SPEAKER_03: You see what I did there, but you know, maybe it's more like you're born to run till you fell and broke both legs.
10:11
SPEAKER_03: Uh seriously, though, I wouldn't regret a thing.
10:14
SPEAKER_03: Don't regret a thing, Billy, because you know, first of all, you don't know, might not have worked out with Bruce.
10:19
SPEAKER_03: And secondly, being the wife of a plumber, gosh, you loved your husband.
10:23
SPEAKER_03: Wife of a plumber, that's a fine thing.
10:25
SPEAKER_03: It's not something to be ashamed of.
10:26
SPEAKER_03: You had a good life.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: It was a good life, but Bruce was my first love.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: And wow, I kind of loved him too.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: At least his music, like Steve said, you still had a good life.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: You had a husband that loved you, and he cared for you, and it sounds like he provided for you.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: So that's a good thing.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's he died pretty tragically, and and I it was all my fault, really.
10:50
SPEAKER_03: Do you what do you mean comfortable talking about it, Billy?
10:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I've had to tell the story so many times to the police, insurance adjusters, but as Steve, as you know, Jeff, my husband was a plumber.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: His partner called in sick.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: He asked me to go along and and help him out that day, which of course I was all in to do.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: And there were some broken pipes, and he asked me to hold the sink up.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: And you know, uh, sinks are heavy.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: Let me just tell you.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: And it was probably, I don't know, maybe 15, 20 minutes.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: And I I my arms were sweaty.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: I just I couldn't hold it anymore, and oh, it just slipped, it just slipped right out of my hand, and I just I couldn't catch it.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: I and his reflexes, he just wasn't, he just didn't move quick enough.
11:45
SPEAKER_02: And I it sounds to me like it was more his fault.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:49
SPEAKER_03: Because if he had moved, if he had just had those reflexes, none of that would have happened.
11:53
SPEAKER_03: I know what you mean about sinks.
11:55
SPEAKER_03: I tried to hold up a sink one time and I found out you know, they they're not scared of guns.
12:00
SPEAKER_02: Technically, it was your husband's bad luck, not yours.
12:04
SPEAKER_02: You know, you kind of have to look at it that way, yeah.
12:07
SPEAKER_03: You know, yeah, you have had some bad things happen to you, but you must have had some good luck along the way.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: Maybe, maybe you won a contest sometime or something.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: I did win the lottery.
12:18
SPEAKER_03: Wow, they're talking about burying the league.
12:21
SPEAKER_03: That's good luck.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, wow.
12:23
SPEAKER_02: I've never had that kind of luck.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: Gosh, how much did you win?
12:26
SPEAKER_03: What'd you do with the money?
12:27
SPEAKER_00: I actually I didn't get the payout.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
12:31
SPEAKER_00: I always choose my parents' wedding anniversary.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: This is the number that I always play 9154.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: I played that ticket, then I went to turn it in to the cashier.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, I won.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is the greatest day of my life.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I went to turn it into the cashier and he slid it into the machine and it ate it.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, and then of course, nobody would believe me when I said I always play this number.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: I brought in pictures of my parents' wedding, and they just said no.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: They said you're you're not, we can't prove this.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: That is truly a horrible story.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: I am so sorry.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: It felt great for like a day.
13:15
SPEAKER_03: You had like the blush of good luck, but not the fulfillment of good luck, yeah, not the consummation of good luck.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I still believe, I know this is a lot of bad luck, although you're only talking about the bad stuff.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure there's a lot of good stuff that you don't even remember.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: But I just want to tell you that people make their own luck, and you sound like a person that's on the right track now.
13:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm really glad you came here today.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: I'm working hard, trying to stay positive thinking.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes just everything you touch just turns to black.
13:50
SPEAKER_03: Speaking of bad luck, Jeff, I I gotta tell you, the yeah, that engineer, the new guy, the guy who sort of likes us, who is helping us out here a little bit in the little studio.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: He just handed me a note here.
14:01
SPEAKER_03: I I got some bad news for you, Jeff.
14:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh this from a retirement community in Orlando, just a message that your Aunt B died this morning.
14:09
SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry, Jeff.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
14:12
SPEAKER_02: God, I love that woman so much.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: God, I gotta just regain my composure here.
14:17
SPEAKER_02: Aunt B was, you know, she was almost like my second mom.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: I would go and spend summers with her and my cousin Opie.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: She baked pies, didn't she?
14:28
SPEAKER_02: She made pies.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: I remember you're talking about the pies.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: She made she made big pies too.
14:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: The only thing I would say is I don't know what to say.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm kind of speechless, but I I just really miss her already.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: So sorry, Jeff.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: But Billy, I don't want you to think it's about you because it it has nothing to do with you.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: Because keep in mind, ain't B, she was 92.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: And you know, we had just moved her to Orlando.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: No one expected her to live that long.
14:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm just glad that she was comfortable in her final days.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Did you hear whether it was a heart attack or that she died in her sleep?
15:03
SPEAKER_02: What do you know?
15:04
SPEAKER_03: No, I think she was awake.
15:05
SPEAKER_03: It looks like it was an alligator attack.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: She was outside in the sun listening to our show, Jeff.
15:12
SPEAKER_03: Listening to the Steve and Jeff show.
15:15
SPEAKER_03: And this alligator came ashore and ate her.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: I can't help but to say it just might be me.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm just no, no, it's not.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Some people, when they they hit that age, they have these long drawn-out illnesses.
15:29
SPEAKER_02: That's probably worse than you know having something happen so quickly.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: And who's to say, Steve, that she wasn't sleeping when the alligator ate her?
15:36
SPEAKER_02: That's true.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: We don't we don't really know.
15:38
SPEAKER_03: I mean, she was listening to our show, so I don't think she would have fallen asleep listening to our show.
15:43
SPEAKER_03: Because it's it's interesting.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Do you know what episode she was listening to?
15:46
SPEAKER_02: Because I hope it was the suit yourself.
15:48
SPEAKER_02: That was a really good one.
15:49
SPEAKER_03: That would have helped because maybe maybe if she was listening to suit yourself, maybe she tried to put herself back together.
15:56
SPEAKER_03: From what I heard, there might not have been much self-to-suture, if you know what I mean.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: But yes, she had she lived a good life, and Billy, it had nothing to do with you.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
16:07
SPEAKER_03: Sorry to lay that that sad news on us, but Billy, you don't know.
16:11
SPEAKER_03: Jack was was a plumber, your husband.
16:13
SPEAKER_03: What kind of work did you do?
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, I I've done all sorts of things.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I've I I mean, honestly, I've worked for some of the biggest brands out there.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Blockbuster.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: Did you guys heard of that?
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: Kodak?
16:27
SPEAKER_02: Kodak, I remember them.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: Radio Shack.
16:30
SPEAKER_03: Ah, yes.
16:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:31
SPEAKER_03: Good company.
16:32
SPEAKER_03: Place that had all those little weird electronic things that nobody else had.
16:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: The most fun job that I ever had was a general manager of Toys R Us.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: It was oh yeah.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: I bet we just got to play with toys all day long.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: And oh, that sounds like fun.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: See the kids come in and it's too bad that those places aren't still around.
16:54
SPEAKER_02: But you know, a lot of companies go out of business for a variety of reasons.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Are you still are you working now?
16:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm just a assistant manager at uh JCPenney's.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh yes, it's okay, right?
17:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that sounds okay for today.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: Steve, I'm a little distracted here, but you look like you're not feeling good yourself.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: Are you in a little bit of pain?
17:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I just suddenly I have some pain here.
17:19
SPEAKER_03: It seems to be focused in how should I put it in my own private South Carolina, if you will.
17:24
SPEAKER_03: And it's like more of a burning.
17:26
SPEAKER_03: Gosh, I should probably go to the doctor.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Does it hurt when you stand up or when do you feel that pain?
17:32
SPEAKER_03: Mostly when I go to the bathroom.
17:33
SPEAKER_03: Even walking by the bathroom, it hurts.
17:35
SPEAKER_02: Do you have any idea how you might have gotten it?
17:37
SPEAKER_03: No, you know, other than heavily drinking, I haven't really been doing a lot of physically lately, a lot of activity.
17:43
SPEAKER_03: Well, unless you're kind of celebrating my wedding anniversary, I did that.
17:46
SPEAKER_03: You know, now that I think about it, the pain started right after we got back from our romantic weekend getaway, you know, celebrate the anniversary.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: I'm not a doctor.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: What do you think, Billy?
17:56
SPEAKER_00: I think you just have some bad luck.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: I think it's a case of bad luck, Steve.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: I have had that problem before too, Steve.
18:03
SPEAKER_02: It's usually something really minor.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: What do they say?
18:05
SPEAKER_02: You know, viral or bacterial, you know, whatever it would be.
18:10
SPEAKER_02: So I'm sure it's nothing.
18:11
SPEAKER_03: Of course, isn't like tuberculosis.
18:13
SPEAKER_03: Doesn't that cover some like bad stuff?
18:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I guess so.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: But on the bright side, I'm sure it'll be fine.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: Again, I'm still thinking about my aunt.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm just sorry.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: I I just I just feel like I've just brought you so much bad luck today.
18:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh no, maybe I shouldn't be here.
18:31
SPEAKER_03: Oh no, Billy, it's not you.
18:33
SPEAKER_03: It's you know, but but I Billy, Jeff, do you smell something?
18:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and there's a little bit of smoke uh right behind Billy.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: I mean, is that a fire?
18:44
SPEAKER_02: Is that a fire near the bathroom?
18:46
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, I thought at first it was that that second engineer getting high, but no, it smells worse.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Guys, I I think there might be a fire back there.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: I think the bathroom's on fire.
18:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
18:57
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh I think I I I think I just I think I better leave.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: I think I better go.
19:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
19:04
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
19:05
SPEAKER_03: The engineer he's on it, he got it.
19:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a lit, a lit tampon, it looks like.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, he's holding it.
19:11
SPEAKER_03: He's holding his tampon like a torch.
19:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and he's laughing.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: Like, this is funny, this is not funny.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: No, come on.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: But I think Billy's right.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: This might be the perfect time to end the interview while we're all still in one piece.
19:24
SPEAKER_02: I I think so.
19:25
SPEAKER_02: While we before we run out of time.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: I just want to say thanks so much for letting me come on the show today.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: And this was probably this right here is the luckiest I've ever been just to be on your show, and all your millions of listeners could hear me and hear my story.
19:42
SPEAKER_03: So Billy, we're glad that we were able to give that opportunity to you and and really that opportunity, let's be honest, Jeff, to the millions, the millions of listeners that are now able to hear her story and feel for her.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm really glad you came on, and it's unfortunately we probably should end this thing as quickly as we can before we run out of time.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Billy, thanks for coming on the show.
20:06
SPEAKER_03: And uh, I think the engineer will show you the way out.
20:09
SPEAKER_03: It this it's a little hard to get out of this little studio at eccentric Lady Land here.
20:14
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's uh it doesn't have the big doors, so it's they'll he'll show you the way out.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: All right, thank you.
20:19
SPEAKER_03: And don't just don't drink anything he gives you, okay?
20:21
SPEAKER_03: No, no, unless it's a sealed bottle, but I digress.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: See you, Billy.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: Bye.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: Bye.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: I still don't believe in bad luck in general.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: I think you make your own luck, but I gotta tell you, Steve, in the case of Billy, she might need a new recipe on how to make luck.
20:38
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
20:38
SPEAKER_03: You know, I thought just science and superstition were where it was at, but I don't know.
20:43
SPEAKER_03: Maybe there is such a thing as bad luck.
20:45
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
20:45
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
20:46
SPEAKER_03: But something interesting though, Jeff.
20:48
SPEAKER_03: Now that we see my control panel went out earlier and we had that fire.
20:52
SPEAKER_03: We can tell the insurance company that the fire damaged the computer.
20:57
SPEAKER_03: We can get a whole new set.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, Jeff, this would be that is great news.
21:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't tell anybody.
21:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh, dude, we'll I'll edit this part out.
21:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh god, oh yeah, we're not gonna have that.
21:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: That is good news.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: Although not all that has happened can be righted.
21:13
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I still unfortunately have to get a hold of the nursing home and make the arrangements for Aunt B.
21:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm not funny you should say writed.
21:22
SPEAKER_03: I suddenly I don't have any pain now.
21:24
SPEAKER_03: It suddenly went away.
21:25
SPEAKER_03: Really?
21:26
SPEAKER_03: As soon as the door closed, the engineer showed her out.
21:28
SPEAKER_03: It's like I feel fine.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: It's like it never happened.
21:30
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that is good news.
21:32
SPEAKER_03: And oh, oh, Jeff, you know, just handed me another note here.
21:35
SPEAKER_03: It turns out you're not gonna have to call and make arrangements for your Aunt B.
21:40
SPEAKER_03: She might still be able to make you pies or maybe half a pie, because it's got a text from the nursing home.
21:45
SPEAKER_03: It turns out she is still alive.
21:48
SPEAKER_03: Wow, so it was a mistake.
21:49
SPEAKER_03: It was well, no, she was outside and she was listening to this show, to this program.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: I don't know which episode, but yeah, we can find out maybe.
21:57
SPEAKER_03: And an alligator did come on shore, but it just ate her left arm.
22:01
SPEAKER_03: And you know, she's right-handed, so you know.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: That is really good news.
22:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh yeah.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: That's wonderful.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: Suddenly things are feel like they're getting back on track.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: Who knows?
22:11
SPEAKER_02: Maybe we will win that award for you know, best comedy podcast ever.
22:15
SPEAKER_03: Well, if we don't coming up, I don't know who will, because I'll tell you, Jeff, the millions want us to win that award.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes, they do, and we have to give the people what they want, even if we have to create our own award.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Well, Steve, I feel luckier.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't know about you.
22:33
SPEAKER_03: I think maybe luck is is transitory.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: I agree, whatever that means.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
22:37
SPEAKER_03: And and I'm not I don't know what that means either, but it means that maybe it's back.
22:42
SPEAKER_03: I still feel sorry for Billy.
22:44
SPEAKER_03: She has had a tough time in her life, hasn't she, Jeff?
22:47
SPEAKER_03: I mean, really, she really has.
22:49
SPEAKER_03: And she's very nice.
22:50
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I it's not that oh, she's a jerk.
22:53
SPEAKER_03: No, she's very nice, and she's had a tough time here.
22:56
SPEAKER_03: I think we as a show that reaches out to the millions, it really involves that grabs the millions right by the scruff of the neck.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: I think we should give her some something.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: I think you're right, and I'm uh interested to know what you have in mind, but I also think we should bring her back on the show.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: But unfortunately, looks like we're booked up for the next two or three years.
23:16
SPEAKER_03: So it might be a little while down the road.
23:19
SPEAKER_03: I think we should think long and hard before bringing her back, and we'll throw some i ching before before we ask her, but because you know, ain't a superstition, hey, yeah, it's where it's at.
23:28
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
23:28
SPEAKER_03: But but I digress.
23:30
SPEAKER_03: Johnny, tell us what we're gonna give Billy Cosby.
23:33
SPEAKER_03: Right, Steve?
23:34
SPEAKER_03: We'll send Billy, better late than never, a lifetime supply of tear-off, good for all types of detox.
23:41
SPEAKER_03: Nothing undoes a roofie like a tear-off.
23:44
SPEAKER_03: And a fortune-telling eight ball.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: Ask it any question, and you'll get one of 13 pre-programmed yet meaningless answers.
23:51
SPEAKER_03: Some are in Croatian, all are up scene.
23:54
SPEAKER_03: Courtesy of Cross Palm Psychic Missions, an Appropriation Station Company.
23:59
SPEAKER_03: Appropriation station, we claim it all.
24:02
SPEAKER_03: And least, last, who cares?
24:05
SPEAKER_03: Billy will get the home version of the Steve and Jeff Show with one of the dice pieces missing.
24:11
SPEAKER_03: This has been a Black Cat production in association with Hats on the Bed Pictures.
24:15
SPEAKER_03: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show whenever you listen to podcasts.
24:21
SPEAKER_03: This is Johnny.
24:23
SPEAKER_03: I'm joining Steve and his mom for some vodka flavored mac and cheese.
24:27
SPEAKER_03: I took my ass to reflex pill, so I'm all set.
24:31
SPEAKER_03: Wish me luck.
24:32
SPEAKER_03: Good night.