Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #306 Three Minute Therapy - Returning to School & Building Hope

Transcript

#306 Three Minute Therapy - Returning to School & Building Hope · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Mew good. It's doctor Justin Colson on the last day
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: of the holidays. I'm here with Kylie, my wife, m um,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: to our six kids, and this is a Happy Families podcast. Oh.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I'm kind of I
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: mean this really in between feeling I'm really excited for
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: the holidays to be over and at the same time
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I'm really devastated the holidays are about to be over.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: It always surprises me every time this has because when
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: we're interurn, we just crave relaxation, We want to break
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: from the routine. We just want no structure and we
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: want to do what we want to do. But we
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: get to a certain point where we're in that no structure,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: where we just grave structure and routine, and the kids
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: feel it too. You watch them. They get to a
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: certain point where you can just see they just need
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: that predictability back into their day and their routine.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: And it's even harder for parents who are still at
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: work trying to manage because the kids have got no
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: routine in structure, but the parents are trying to force
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: it on them, because like, we've got to get out
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: the door, We've got to do this, got to do that.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: It's a kind of a tough time for parents of
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: younger children. You'll know what we mean soon soon enough. Hey,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about something that I think is
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: really important. A school goes back. Returning to school can
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: be really frightening for some kids. I mean, a lot
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: of kids are actually pretty enthusiastic. They're like, yeah, I
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: get to see my friends, but some kids not so much.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I had a really cute little conversation with miss Emily
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: the other day. She looked at me really really seriously,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: and she said, mum Am, I going into grade two.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Real because holidays are over. It's back to school. Yeah.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: She was really nervous about it. And I said, you are,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I said, but not straight away. I said, we're going
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: to go back to school. And I said, and you're
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: going to have ten whole weeks at school, and then
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: we're going to have another big holiday, and then you're
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: going to have another ten weeks and then it's going
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: to be Christmas time. And I said, and after the
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: big Christmas holidays, then you'll go into grade two. But
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: you've still got lots of life. It's the time with
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: your year one friends and your year one teacher.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Was feeling okay about then oh once.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I said that, you could just visibly see her relax again.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, she was.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: She's starting to, you know, freak out a little bit.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: It's anxious.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that, because, well, that's a nice,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: easy one to resolve. A lot of kids are just nervous.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: They've either been bullied, or they've got no friends, or
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: they don't feel like they be long at school or
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: speaking of which we're going to have a great conversation
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: on the podcast in a couple of weeks with doctor
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Kelly and Allen about how to help kids feel like
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: they belong at school. But I wanted to talk as
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: this final holiday podcast before our regular podcasts return about
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: building hope in our kids because research tells us that
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: being hopeful and optimistic about the future, and they are
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: slightly different things, but being hopeful about the future is
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: one of the best ways to help kids overcome anxiety
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: and depression. And it sounds like it sounds like you
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: did a good job with Emily, but a lot of
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: parents can't resolve those issues quite so, simply. Yeah, So
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: there's three steps to building hope. Step one, find out
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: what the kids actually want, like, work towards a goal.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: What are you looking forward to is basically the question.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Step two help them to have pathways to that goal. So,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: if that's what you're looking forward to, how can we
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: make that happen? And step three give them that sense
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: of agency that is, empower them, how do you think
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: you can do it? And those three things goals, pathways,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: and agency or something that they're working towards, a way
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: to get there, and a belief that they can seems
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: to build the hope that they need to not be
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: so anxious and worried about going back to school on
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Monday or Tuesday or whatever date ends up being, depending
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: on student free days and wherever you are.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: So I think there's a challenge in there.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, last challenge of the holidays, what is it?
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Find something that your children are struggling with, talk about it,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: empower them, help them find pathways, work through those three
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: steps and give them some hope.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I love that a parent's job is to be a
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: hope builder.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I love those words hope builder.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Well, we really hope that you've enjoyed the school holidays
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: with your kids. If they're continuing because you're in a
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: different state, because dates different to Queensland holidays, continue to
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: enjoy them. Please our regular podcast schedule return again on Monday.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: We can't wait to dive back into some big topics
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: and spend a bit more time being neaty around them.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: But we hope that you've enjoyed the last two weeks
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: of short, sweet ideas to make your family happier. The
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Media and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Hey, if
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: you want more info about making your family happier, you
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: can find it at happyfamilies dot com dot a