Latest / The Road Doc Podcast / Understanding Emotional Wounds

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Understanding Emotional Wounds · The Road Doc Podcast

0:04
You know, all of us carry scars. Some you can see, some you
0:10
can't. But the truth is, the ones we
0:16
don't see, the emotional wounds, those are the ones that shape us
0:24
the most. Yep, you heard it right.
0:30
And welcome back to my podcast people.
0:34
Recently we hit 5K streams on Spotify.
0:42
So thank you all your you are all being very amazing listeners
0:48
so far. So I would like to thank you all
0:52
once again for taking time out of your life and listening to my
0:57
podcast where I don't just talk about motorcycles or just
1:02
medicine. But it is a mix of basically
1:05
everything that in general we can say life, how I navigate
1:14
life and how I see the life and what not.
1:20
Because we all go through something at some point in life
1:26
and we all move on dealing. Some people deal with it and
1:31
some people just leave it as it is and move on and they do not
1:36
address the issue. And that keeps coming up again
1:41
and again. So now I know people are getting
1:44
confused that since it is my name and everything shows up
1:53
like the Road Dog podcast, I don't generally talk about only
1:57
road and the doctor side of medicine side of it alone.
2:02
I cover everything basically. But my focus will be because
2:09
these two are my my major interests and how I deal life
2:16
with it. So I incorporate everything as
2:18
much as I can and I will give you an easy peasy insight so
2:24
that we don't need to go into too much of technicalities
2:29
rather than focusing on the problem and how to solve the
2:33
problem which can help in life and also while riding
2:40
motorcycles and also what not even travelling and even someone
2:48
who is trying to start studying medicine.
2:53
So it helps everyone. It's a win win because look at
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me now I am everything now I am a doctor, creator, podcaster,
3:04
YouTube and soon enough I am gonna be an entrepreneur and all
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these things are lining up. You will see.
3:13
Follow my journey. This is available everywhere you
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can go and search in almost all major platforms.
3:24
The name of my podcast is the Road Dock podcast, DHE space,
3:31
ROAD Space DOC, Space podcast, PODC ASD.
3:40
So if you search that, it will definitely bring me up so you
3:46
can listen it. You can give your suggestions if
3:50
you want. Any other topics that you want
3:53
me to cover in general, let me know.
3:58
You can follow me in my social medias.
4:01
Everything will be dropped in the descriptions once you find
4:06
my podcast. Everything is already there so
4:11
if you people need some topics consistently.
4:14
I mean I got a request recently from few of my followers that
4:20
they requested specifically for each smart series.
4:23
I think by this time this series rolls on, I told them it is
4:29
already coming. It is already coming so don't
4:33
worry, just keep going, it is already coming.
4:37
I think by the time you are listening this, you will already
4:40
understand the fact that each smart series is already live.
4:47
So I am just reminding because I am doing it ahead of time
4:52
because coming months I'm gonna be very, very busy.
4:56
I know that. So I think that's the best thing
4:58
to do anyways. And we also, we also have like
5:04
international audiences as well. So I would like to also hear
5:09
from you about any episode you liked it or you want even more
5:17
in depth insights about something.
5:20
Yeah, anything. Just message me in the Instagram
5:24
or comment down in the podcast or whatever and however you feel
5:29
like everything is welcome and wide open.
5:32
So be my guest. Now coming back to our topic,
5:38
Understanding emotional wounds. Let me tell you something I have
5:44
realized in my own journey that they I also carry so many
5:49
invisible wounds and that often decides how I act and in general
5:56
how we act, how we react and even how we dream.
6:02
And the crazy part is we often do not even know we are carrying
6:05
them. How many people have realized
6:08
that that you are actually carrying so many emotional
6:13
wounds from the past that is dragging you down, isn't it?
6:18
Yeah, I know, because with our busy lifestyles and constantly
6:25
chasing dopamine from food, from the Internet and whatnot, our
6:33
habits, this, that and whatnot. So yeah, I came to realize
6:39
something that hit me hard like few days ago before recording
6:43
this, that I am also carrying some invisible wounds, but it
6:50
looks very different. I mean, from the outside it all
6:53
looks shiny and polished. But I just realized, I mean,
6:58
achieving something with the pressure that you want or you
7:02
don't want or you don't know entirely and what not.
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So few things I have realized. And and then the moment I sat
7:15
myself in a room and OK, why does this happen?
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I mean, I don't have direct influence to it, but still I got
7:25
affected by that. So I still carry that wound or
7:29
whatever we call it. So recent times I said let it
7:33
go. It's weighing me a lot.
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So yeah, it was heavy and that no one can see.
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And when I am talking about this topic, it hit me hard too.
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So I think it will definitely help you the most.
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So hear me out with clear mind. Hopefully it's better if you
8:00
start listening to this with a very calm mind and I am pretty
8:06
much sure once you are in emotional state you will not be
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calm at all. That's not going to happen.
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But OK, no problem, let's keep everything simple so that
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everyone can understand. So here is my question, what are
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emotional wounds? Emotional wounds are unresolved
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pain from the past. They are not just bad memories,
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they are the experiences that cut deep into our identity.
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Like think of it is like when a bike takes a hit, the dent may
8:46
look small or in the bike space. If you are a car guy or car
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woman, let's just say when your vehicle got a hit with a small
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dent, the small dent is still there.
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But if you don't fix the tent, what happens if it is too small?
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That's OK if it is for a motorcycle, if it is even a too
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small thing and if it breaks down or if it affects some
9:14
aerodynamics in some way, then that's a problem.
9:19
Same goes with cars and all other vehicles.
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Here I am comparing vehicles to the human body.
9:25
Got it. But if you don't fix the
9:29
problem, every time you ride, it feels a little different.
9:33
It wobbles, it pulls you off Yeah, it's the same thing I will
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give in real life example, you know my friend tire for my
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Domino 400, you know it got a little dent alright and I think
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the dent got bigger and bigger because I thought it's a very
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small dent on the tire. So I don't need to worry right
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now. So let me take some time and it
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time passes by and it went one month and then two months and
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then three months later I just found out something my handlebar
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is fully wobbling and it's not stable.
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And I quickly went to the Domino service center and I told them
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it is all wobbling. And they clearly told me that
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Sir, this is the actual reason. And the den got bigger and
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bigger since you did not fix it and you started riding it.
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So that is the reason why your front tire is wobbling a lot.
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So all we can do is now fix it. That same goes with our life
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too. Once your stability is shaken or
10:52
was shaken, we gotta fix it. I know it will take time.
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I know it is a difficult situations, I am fully aware
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it's not as easy as it sounds as I am saying, but we gotta take
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one baby step at a time. Yep, heard it right.
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So yes, let me also tell you guys about types of emotional
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wounds. Like most of us in our lifetime
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definitely I have dealt with few common kinds.
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I do not want to go deep into scientific manner but I will
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give a just a brief analysis or description of it so you get my
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point. Abandonment This is an 1 type of
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emotional wound. The fear of being left behind or
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not being worth someone's time. Now everyone, let us sit back
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and think about this for a moment.
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I am pretty much sure this happened with everybody at some
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point in their life. It might come from your parents,
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it might come from your siblings, it might come from
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your partner. It can be your girlfriend,
12:19
boyfriend or others, whatever it may be some way or in the job,
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in your workspace, no matter what, like you trust this person
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or this group of people so much and you constantly have that
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fear in your chest or in your mind that is dragging you down
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and you literally do anything and everything to not to feel
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that way. That's basically abandonment and
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true. Everybody go through that at one
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point of time. If you are in that situation,
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all you gotta do is take your time to process it.
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And I'll give you a small example.
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I know a person personally. I know that person because that
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person went through abandonment from their own parents and that
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guy shared his entire story with me and I asked that person can I
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say this in my podcast without revealing you?
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I like your story. So difficult to process since
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you are too young and I think it will help so many people.
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And the guy was kind enough. Cheers to him, he allowed it to
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say it without revealing his name.
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So here we go. So According to him, the
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abandonment came from his own parents.
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Yes, you heard it right, It came from their own parents.
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In the name of love, affection and care.
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Yep, that's right. It's all there.
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So he felt it that way. And keep this in mind, I will
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keep this story and I will also talk about South many other
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emotional wounds. I will correlate the story with
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everything so that you can get a clear cut idea how it feels
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like. And I will move on with the
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second one. That is betrayal when someone
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you trust deeply breaks it, suddenly trust feels like a
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dangerous game, isn't it? It is.
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And coming back to our story, the guy literally felt betrayal
15:00
in the 1st place that came from own people and he was doing
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everything to not to feel left behind.
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So literally this person went through two emotional wounds at
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the same time. One is abutment and the other
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one is betrayal. Betrayal came from their own
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people. The trusted 1 stabbed them in
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the back. And it might not necessarily to
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do that exactly, but what I mean actually is if they cut you off,
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for example, if they are supporting you for the education
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and suddenly they cut you off because you are not listening to
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them and you are not doing anything bad or anything, just
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life is happening. But they don't understand that
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because they don't know anything about you.
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They just send you finances. That's it.
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They don't give a damn. And that's what the guy told me
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that I was like, at first I thought like, come on, man, you
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are getting everything, isn't it?
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And then I thought as a doctor, then I was like, oh, this is all
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connected with childhood trauma too.
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And this is just a piece of it he is trying to reveal.
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And without judgment. I started to listening to his
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story and I felt what he said. He got betrayed by his own
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people and then he left the home because the fear of abandonment
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is so high that he literally started crying, saying like
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before they abandoned me, I already did so that I don't have
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to carry that emotional pain within myself.
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And then I'll move on to the next one, which is rejection.
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The sting of feeling unwanted, unworthy and invisible.
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How many people have been through this?
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I am 1000% sure everyone listening to this have somewhere
17:06
or another been through this as well.
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And the guy also went through this at the same time.
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He felt rejected, literally. His feelings were invalid.
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Nobody cares about that guy and nobody worries how he is
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feeling. All these things, really I am.
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Yep, that was true. And I know everybody is also
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going through this at this point of time too.
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He felt unwanted. He doesn't want to be there
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because nobody is paying attention, nobody is even
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listening. He felt literally unwanted,
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unworthy, invisible. At the same time, he literally
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went through the process of rejection before he left his
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home. And then we'll move on to the
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next one. Failure or disappointment, which
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means the times you thought you weren't enough Yep, this is also
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an emotional wound guys. So here we go again.
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Let me correlate with the guy's story.
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He left the home and went to different place because all
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their parents were talking like we gave this, we gave blah,
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blah, blah. But they were constantly
18:35
comparing this guy with their neighbors and other people's
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achievements and so on and so forth.
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Then I was like, Oh my God, this is so bad.
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Really, really bad. I mean this is for the parents
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actually if any any of your new born parent are about to become
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parent. Hear me out guys, see if you are
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hearing me out right now. At this point of time you are
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doing a job, this, that, etc. Compare yourself with some other
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guy. If you are a guy or woman,
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compare yourself with some other who is doing actually better
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than you. And if someone is constantly
19:24
pulling that on you, 24 by 7365 days, how would you feel?
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No matter what you do, what you achieve.
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Kindly guys, if you are not a parent, you are a young person
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like me, then keep that in mind. Do not rub this on your kids in
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future. Do not ever compare your kid to
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someone else. It goes in many ways because
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everybody is unique. Guys, you got to keep in mind
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your job as a parent is to identify where your kid is
20:02
thriving. They are not just some
20:04
experiment where you just try to rub all your wishes on them.
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Trying to fulfill your emptiness through your kids.
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That's basically trauma. Don't do that.
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If you have guts enough at what point of life you are in, just
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pick up your dream where you left and then restart it again
20:28
and do it. Don't rub it on your kids.
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That's not your job. Your job as a parent is to take
20:35
care of them till 18 years of age and then leave them alone.
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If they take their own decisions, they will be
20:42
responsible for own decisions. If you involve everything,
20:46
Indian parents specially I need to address this because the guy
20:49
was Indian who actually shared this story has this bad habit
20:53
man. Especially Indian parents, they
20:55
will involve in your life till you are 30.
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They will involve in in your life till you gonna die so bad.
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I mean most of the parents I mean I understand this.
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This is also new for the parents too.
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They did not do any PhD in parenting.
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I understand that, but thing is try to be kind to your own kids
21:21
people. Not everything can be achieved
21:24
by everyone. Not everyone is designed to
21:28
achieve everything in their life.
21:30
So don't waste time in comparing your kids to anybody else.
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See someone else kids might get first trying this and that and
21:38
they will die at some point. And your kid is still alive.
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Let's just assume you are comparing with one kid and your
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kid constantly from childhood to, let's say, until the
21:52
education finished. Now on paper, your kid is a
21:55
waste fellow. And on paper, the other guy's
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kid is a Superman, right? He got good grades, good nature,
22:03
everything and justice. What?
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And he died after finishing all his education and anything.
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Yeah, now what good does those education did and everything
22:17
because life is very small. We all think we all have like
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100 years, thousand years. But trust me, life is very, very
22:25
small. It will slip right away from our
22:28
hands. We don't even know that until
22:31
it's gone. So that's why we never know
22:34
about the outcome. So focus on what you can do to
22:38
your kid to improve his life. Don't rub it on him because
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somebody who might like sports more.
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Your kid doesn't like education. So what?
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He might become a good sportsperson, he might become
22:52
millionaire or billionaire, he might earn more money, he might
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become a good human being, he might become a useful person for
23:00
the society. All these things are as much as
23:04
important than just getting grades.
23:06
People are so obsessed in India that they want their kids just
23:11
to get grades, just to push through, just to get into
23:14
college, just to get into IIT based that and what not.
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It's not stopping so I don't blame entirely kids but there
23:23
will be kids mistakes too. But come on man your kid is only
23:27
20 plus years old. You are literally 50 by the time
23:31
right? And you yourself as a parent,
23:35
you don't have your things together and you expect a 20
23:39
year old to have things sorted out.
23:43
See just because it work for you, that doesn't guarantee
23:46
anything that it will work for on any other person on the
23:49
planet. People are so confused with
23:52
this. So the guy literally felt he is
23:56
a failure. I mean, I looked at his track
23:59
record or he is very disappointed, but I looked at
24:02
his track record and his track record was super awesome on
24:05
paper. He got medals, he got into
24:09
sports and he invested in he every time he went into sporting
24:14
events, he is always number one. But the parents doesn't see all
24:18
this, they only want their kid to get educated and get a job.
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But this guy doesn't want a job he wants to win in sports events
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and all these things. Trust me guys this guy is a gem.
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Just was fallen into wrong parenting that's all.
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Then what happened was I will tell you another sub thing.
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There is something called loss or grief, which is also an
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emotional wound. It is like the pain of
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separation, whether it is from someone you loved or even a
24:52
dream that slipped away. Alright, this guy went into a
24:57
state of grief after that because his sports career ended
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because of their parents. His words are like this.
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My sports career ended because of my dumb parents because they
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don't understand anything and they try to enforce me because
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they have money, power, this, that and what not.
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So yeah, let me make it even more clear for you all people so
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you will understand. He literally went one person at
25:28
the same time, went through all these emotional wounds at the
25:32
same time. He went through abandonment,
25:34
betrayal, rejection, failure or disappointment, loss or grief,
25:40
everything at once. So imagine if you went through
25:44
all those things at the same time, I'm 100% sure you will not
25:51
even step out of your bed. That's how heavy it feels.
25:57
That's how much it weighs you down.
26:00
But I still appreciate this guy trying his level best in
26:04
whatever way possible to get out of this.
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And this became a major wound for him, right?
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And for us also, we all been there, we all go through these
26:21
things at some point in our life.
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You might not connect with one or twice, but at least something
26:30
will hit you at some point. And mind you guys, going through
26:36
this kind of emotional pain is never weakness and staying there
26:41
becomes weakness. That is yes.
26:44
And if you are listening to this, you are already strong
26:47
enough, you are already looking for the paths to get out of it.
26:51
So cheers to you and I am 100% sure you will come out of it.
26:55
Just don't beat yourself up. Take your time.
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I will give you the answer for this, how you have to come out
27:03
as well in coming, coming episodes as well.
27:07
So follow me here on this podcast.
27:10
You will understand slowly and now how this won't show up in
27:16
our lives most people. This is how it helps you pay you
27:21
guys to observe whether you are reacting from yourself or this
27:27
is just a trigger. The wounds don't stay in the
27:32
past, they show up today in the smallest ways, like over
27:36
reacting to small triggers, struggling to trust people
27:41
fully, constantly chasing validation through either
27:46
success, money, achievements or even worse, holding yourself
27:52
back from the opportunities because deep down you are scared
27:57
you will get hurt again. Isn't it?
28:02
Yeah, like it is. Like riding a punctured tire,
28:05
you can still move forward but every mile feels heavier than it
28:09
should be and if you don't stop and repair it, you risk breaking
28:14
down completely. This is what happens for
28:16
everyone and most people what they do, especially Indian
28:21
parents or Indian people, as much as I observed, they don't
28:26
address the issue, they mask the issue and they will be like
28:29
nothing happened, nothing happened, I will move, move,
28:32
move and then one day it just compounds and everything falls
28:37
down and they crashes completely.
28:41
So here are my reflections and take away from everything I
28:46
know. So here is something I want you
28:50
to sit with. What moments in your life still
28:55
sting when you think about them? That sting that often where your
29:02
own is. So first thing you gotta do is
29:06
acknowledging it is the first thing you gotta do.
29:12
Acknowledging means knowing it. So acknowledging doesn't
29:19
magically heal it. But that is the first step,
29:24
because healing begins with awareness.
29:29
And scars, yeah, they don't disappear too, but they do
29:36
remind us of one powerful truth. We survived.
29:43
And that survival means we are stronger than the wound itself.
29:49
So next time we will talk about how to actually begin healing
29:55
these wounds. Because just knowing isn't
30:00
enough. We got to learn how to transform
30:05
that pain into strength. Until then, right safe leave
30:10
real. And this episode connected with
30:13
you even a little. Just comment down or share your
30:19
valuable thoughts. You never know who else might
30:22
need that courage to. So thank you so much for tuning
30:26
in to today's episode. I am Doctor Mukund.
30:29
I'll catch you up soon in coming episodes.
30:34
And guys, I got I changed my schedule from Saturdays to
30:38
Tuesdays. Anyways, that's gonna be fine.
30:42
Don't worry about that. So I'll catch you up soon, very,
30:46
very soon. Thank you for your time.