Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #234| How to Change Your Life Just By Loving Yourself
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to go out and make a million dollars.
- 0:01Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to move.
- 0:02Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to find a new partner in life.
- 0:04Michelle Gauthier: You just have to love yourself.
- 0:06Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:18Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:23Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences.
- 0:28Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:35Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend.
- 0:39Michelle Gauthier: Today we are reviewing some awesome concepts from a book that I love called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravi Kant.
- 0:47Michelle Gauthier: I feel like it's very common knowledge and everybody believes that we should all talk more nicely to ourselves and that we should love ourselves.
- 0:53Michelle Gauthier: In theory, it's really good, but I feel like there's not a lot of talk about how to do that.
- 0:58Michelle Gauthier: And in my experience in working with one-on-one clients and group coaching clients, everyone will tell me I have such a negative brain.
- 1:05Michelle Gauthier: My brain says so many mean things to me about myself, things I would never say to my best friend.
- 1:11Michelle Gauthier: And everyone feels like they're alone in that.
- 1:13Michelle Gauthier: So I just want to first start out by reassuring you that if you have negative self-talk and if your brain says some really mean things to you sometimes, you are not alone.
- 1:21Michelle Gauthier: And if this is an issue that you really would like to work on, you should definitely listen to this podcast and maybe consider reading this book as well.
- 1:29Michelle Gauthier: So when you listen today, I'm gonna tell you about this difficult moment in the author's life that led them to create this whole self-love practice.
- 1:37Michelle Gauthier: The three key insights from the book that can change the way you think about yourself and help you build your self-worth.
- 1:42Michelle Gauthier: And then the takeaway from the book that I personally love the most.
- 1:46Michelle Gauthier: But before we jump into that, I want to tell you that today's episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth.
- 1:51Michelle Gauthier: In case you haven't noticed, I take being comfortable very seriously.
- 1:55Michelle Gauthier: I talk about my to-dont list sometimes, and on my to-dont list is I don't wear anything that's uncomfortable.
- 2:01Michelle Gauthier: And little things really make the biggest difference.
- 2:03Michelle Gauthier: I've been wearing Cozy Earth's essential socks lately, and they're some of the most comfortable socks that I own.
- 2:09Michelle Gauthier: They're soft, they feel cushioned, and they're breathable in a way that just feels great, whether I'm running around during the day or just chilling at home with no shoes on with my socks.
- 2:19Michelle Gauthier: It's just such a simple everyday item, but when something is designed this thoughtfully, it just really elevates a little part of your day.
- 2:26Michelle Gauthier: Head over to cozyearth.com and use my code for 20% off.
- 2:31Michelle Gauthier: The code is OWW for overwhelmed working woman.
- 2:34Michelle Gauthier: And if you get a post-purchase survey, make sure and mention you heard about Cozy Oath right here, an overwhelmed working woman.
- 2:40Michelle Gauthier: Okay, back to the book.
- 2:42Michelle Gauthier: At the start of the book, the author, Kamal, talks openly about a time when things were completely falling apart for him.
- 2:47Michelle Gauthier: He had built a huge startup that was not going well.
- 2:50Michelle Gauthier: He'd gone through a painful breakup, and he was just feeling deeply unhappy and disconnected from himself.
- 2:56Michelle Gauthier: From the outside, his life probably looked successful, but on the inside, he was just totally struggling to the point where he was considering ending his own life.
- 3:04Michelle Gauthier: He describes how he woke up every morning feeling miserable, immediately waking up to negative self-talk and realizing that the way that he talked to himself in his own mind was super harsh.
- 3:14Michelle Gauthier: His voice was full of criticism and doubt and negativity all the time.
- 3:18Michelle Gauthier: And one day he had this realization, he thought, what if the real problem isn't my circumstances?
- 3:23Michelle Gauthier: So it isn't this terrible breakup I just had, or it isn't that my company is feeling.
- 3:28Michelle Gauthier: What if the real problem is that I don't actually love myself?
- 3:31Michelle Gauthier: So he made this decision to go all in and treat loving himself like it was the most important thing he could work on, almost like his life depended on it, hence the title.
- 3:40Michelle Gauthier: And from that moment, he began experimenting with a simple practice that eventually became the core of his book.
- 3:47Michelle Gauthier: The first big insight in this book is that self-love is a practice, not just a feeling.
- 3:52Michelle Gauthier: And what that means is self-love is something that you have to practice intentionally and internally.
- 3:58Michelle Gauthier: Most people think they'll love themselves once certain things happen.
- 4:02Michelle Gauthier: When I'm in a good relationship, when I have a successful job, when I say sorry to that person whose feelings I hurt, when I become more confident, once I feel like I've got my life together, that's when I'll really love myself.
- 4:13Michelle Gauthier: But this book flips it the other way around.
- 4:16Michelle Gauthier: He argues that self-love isn't the reward at the end of the journey.
- 4:20Michelle Gauthier: It's actually the starting point.
- 4:21Michelle Gauthier: And the really hopeful thing that I love in this book is that he says it can be built through repetition and daily practice.
- 4:28Michelle Gauthier: So if you're not a person who just automatically loves himself, I don't know if that person exists.
- 4:33Michelle Gauthier: But if you're not like that, it's something that can be built through skill and practice.
- 4:38Michelle Gauthier: The second key idea from this book is that your inner dialogue or the way that you're talking to yourself in your head shapes your life.
- 4:44Michelle Gauthier: Think about that.
- 4:46Michelle Gauthier: You're criticizing yourself internally, saying things like, I should have done better, I'm not good enough, everybody else is doing this better than me, I messed that up.
- 4:54Michelle Gauthier: The author noticed that his internal dialogue was constantly negative.
- 4:57Michelle Gauthier: And so he started replacing that inner voice with one simple mantra.
- 5:01Michelle Gauthier: Throughout the day, he would say, I love myself.
- 5:03Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes while he was walking or working or just quietly in his own mind, he would just say, I love myself.
- 5:09Michelle Gauthier: And at first it felt strange.
- 5:10Michelle Gauthier: It does feel weird if you say that out loud to yourself.
- 5:13Michelle Gauthier: But over time, the repetition began to shift the way that he felt about himself.
- 5:17Michelle Gauthier: And he slowly moved from criticism towards compassion and kindness towards himself.
- 5:22Michelle Gauthier: The idea is that the words we repeat internally eventually shape the beliefs that we carry about ourselves.
- 5:28Michelle Gauthier: The third key insight from this book is that self-love changes the way that you live your life.
- 5:33Michelle Gauthier: When you start genuinely beginning to love yourself and have compassion for yourself, it just naturally changes the way you live because you start making different decisions from the place of self-love.
- 5:44Michelle Gauthier: You take better care of your health because you love yourself.
- 5:47Michelle Gauthier: You sell healthier boundaries because you care about yourself.
- 5:50Michelle Gauthier: You stop tolerating things that drain you.
- 5:53Michelle Gauthier: You become more resilient when things go wrong.
- 5:55Michelle Gauthier: It's like everything in his world started looking up all from this place of self-love.
- 6:00Michelle Gauthier: I have given this book to clients.
- 6:01Michelle Gauthier: In fact, I can think of more than one client who said that this book totally changed their lives.
- 6:06Michelle Gauthier: But I have given this book to clients before.
- 6:08Michelle Gauthier: And the first response is, okay, so all I have to do is look in the mirror and say, I love myself.
- 6:12Michelle Gauthier: Okay, it sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit, like a Stuart Smalley kind of thing.
- 6:16Michelle Gauthier: Are you even serious?
- 6:17Michelle Gauthier: But my favorite takeaway from the book is the idea that self-love is the core of everything.
- 6:22Michelle Gauthier: So if self-love is the core of everything, and self-love can be developed by something as simple as practicing over and over, saying I love myself and learning to love yourself, why not do it?
- 6:34Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to go out and make a million dollars.
- 6:36Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to move, you don't have to find a new partner in life.
- 6:38Michelle Gauthier: You just have to love yourself.
- 6:40Michelle Gauthier: And then the rest of your life will start to elevate.
- 6:43Michelle Gauthier: You make better decisions, your resilience improves, your relationships improves.
- 6:46Michelle Gauthier: Everything in your life improves when you love yourself.
- 6:49Michelle Gauthier: And that is why I love this book.
- 6:51Michelle Gauthier: I just appreciate how simple the message really is.
- 6:54Michelle Gauthier: It's not this big long list of strategies.
- 6:56Michelle Gauthier: It's a reminder that the way you speak to yourself and the way that you treat yourself is reflected in everything in your life.
- 7:03Michelle Gauthier: I'm doing a review of my top 10 favorite self-help books, and this one is definitely in my favorite top 10.
- 7:09Michelle Gauthier: I would love to know how you are enjoying this series.
- 7:11Michelle Gauthier: Have you enjoyed these book reviews?
- 7:13Michelle Gauthier: Are there other books that you think that I should review?
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: I would just love to know how you feel about it.
- 7:18Michelle Gauthier: And if you know someone in your life who could benefit from this message or learning about this book or my coaching, please share this episode with them today.
- 7:25Michelle Gauthier: Thank you so much for listening, and I will see you next week.
- 7:28Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 7:36Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com.
- 7:42Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.