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SMNTY Classics: What is Normal? · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny Samantha. I'm not come to Stefan
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: never told you a plecture of iHeartRadio and continuing our
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: kind of counter all of the New Year's marketing thing,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I wanted to bring back one we did that had
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: been a request about kind of how we never see
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: the average sized woman I'm being talked about or shown
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: in any kind of advertising or marketing, even though you
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: know they make up a huge part of the population.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: And again, this is just something in my mind. Is
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I personally am getting flooded? I bet a lot of
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: you are with just these marketing emails that are annoying me.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Better you.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: Yes, by the way, we need to come and revisit it,
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: because there's this conversation about the fact that we were
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: more accepting for about a split second, but then Ozimbic
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: has made a little bit of changes of that and
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: we do need to come back to revisit that.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: We talked about it a little before, Yeah, about those
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: dangerous practices, but now they're talking about this new standard
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: being able to be met because of this miracle now
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: very expensive and very unavailable drug that is for diabetes.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's going to be a very We're going
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: to have to really research that one, because they're you know, reasons,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: people legitimate reasons people.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Legitimate absolutely and for those who can just afford it, for.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Those who can afford it.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, but I did, I mean, and I know that
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: it jump started a whole other conversation about other companies
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: trying to get into the game and create their own. So, yes,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: that is something we will have to to return to.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: But in the meantime, please enjoy this classic episode. Hey,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: this Sanny and Samantha and welcome to STEPHFO. Never told
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: your protection of iHeartRadio's house.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Stuff works.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: So today we'd come to you from back from a break,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a brief break.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I guess we had a break. Well, it feels like
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: we did, although we didn't. We had a holiday that
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: we didn't really celebrate. Oh is that what that was? Yes,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: the running early in the morning does not make it
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: a holiday to me.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: No.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I actually started doing that to get out of family application.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: You know what I did that for Thanksgiving?
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: Yes, I did a half marathon just so I could
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: not have to go to Thanksgiving Day dinner.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I have considered it. Yes, and I love Thanksgiving. I
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: love the food, Yes, I love the first half and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I love I love some of the people.
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: Well, I liked it more when my mom, unfortunately, it
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: was like I'm done with this, which good for her.
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: And then we started having weird like lasagna dishes and
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: meat loaf and or just sandwiches.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Really someone made me turkey, so I mean good for
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: good for mom, sure, you know.
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, all that I really wanted
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: green beans and corn bread and all that. Well, not
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: corn bread, but you know, the good stuffs, the.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: L J stuffs.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I don't make note of this. I won't make note
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: of this. And you were feeling a bit under the weather.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm dying, but you are bravely here.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: I pretty much diagnosed myself with everything through a web
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: d so you know, dying, that's what it's said to me.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: It's just big.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: You're like, oh, you're all older than thirty five. That
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: means you are dead.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Great, well, I look forward to that.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: But today we are talking about quote unquote normal normal, Yes,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: when it comes to body types and women. And this
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: was a request from a listener.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: Right right. I think we had a few conversations about
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: the whole too skinny, too big, plus size, all of
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: that and then we had a rider, go man, and
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: what about me? I'm considered normal that in between and
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: I haven't heard much and I was like, you know what,
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: I'm with you. I've not heard too much either.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: No, no, for sure.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: And we wanted to say before we really get started
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: here for women out there who are confident in their bodies,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: especially in bodies that don't fit the skinny ideal or
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: are the beauty standard that we have been fed so
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: long that we are constantly bombarded with that's.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Awesome, that's amazing. Yes, more of that. Please?
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: Can you please exude that and teach us the ways?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, because we we're going to get into some
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: of our own insecurities and we don't want to project
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: that onto other people.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I do think a lot of people can relate, but.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: In the beautiful off chance that you can't, Oh my gosh.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And I, for instance, I've been really thin before in
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: my life, really really thin, and I still felt like
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I needed to lose more weight and that wasn't healthy.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: But it's just we're told so much as women that
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: we're not enough, that we have to look this way
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: and if you don't look that way, which is a
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: very specific narrow thing. It can really become an unhealthy
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: thing that you're pursuing that you can't achieve right.
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: And once again, as we talk more and more, you're
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: going to hear us talking about examples of ourselves, what
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: we don't like, what we fought through, what we're fighting
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: through essentially, and it's not necessarily to put out there
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: this is what is normal, but more so of why
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: this needs to be broken.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Exactly because we.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, in a wonderful world, we would be comfortable
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: in our own skin and we would appreciate how beautiful
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: we are and that our normal is beautiful and we
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: don't have to feel like like we have to wear
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: these things that don't fit as well or something like that.
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: And as we had been told previously on different on
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: a different episode, we need to learn to thank our bodies, yeah,
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: for existing and putting us through the daily challenges.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, And for anyone out there who is comfortable in
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: your own skin, I aspire to be, truly like, I
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: work on it every day, and I know it's not
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: easy for any of us, because I'm assuming that anyone
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: who's reached that point had to fight for it, right
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and to be bombarded with this, these messages all the time,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: and to never see representation beyond a skinny right.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: And to those influencers such as mothers and caretakers and
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: fathers out there who actually teach this and teach the
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: girls to love themselves or not just girls, but everyone
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: to love themselves and they're able to show that that's
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: amazing and good on you.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, keep going, Yes, so we applaud you. We applaud
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: all of you.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: But we don't want our insecurities to sound like we
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: think less of anyone or that we think this is
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: what you should be trying to achieve. We're just insecure,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and I think it does illustrate the pressure that a
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: lot of us feel, right all right. Before we get
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: into it, it is worth saying that normal is a
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: tricky word to use. In researching this, I found so
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: many articles about mental health and the new normal and
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: the dangers and benefits of having a normal when it
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: comes to diagnosing somebody.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: And also just to verify that normal to one person
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: is very different to another person.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I think that normal can be and has been used
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: as a weapon or a tool of control, which we're
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: going to talk about a little bit today.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: A way to get people to conform.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: If we all think a normal woman is a size
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: too because that is all we see, then that is
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: another way to control women's bodies, or to make us
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: hate our own bodies even more and then pay out
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: more to companies that will help us achieve normal. Right.
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: And I would say that normal extends to be about
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: perfection when you start really thinking about the whole outlier
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: of what does this mean?
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: What does society see as normal?
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: And normal has become a little more higher standards as
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: we go along, and I know we're going to get
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: into that later. K wek nutch dudge and normal normal
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: sometimes isn't good enough and we want to be the
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: iconic exception, the next big thing, you know, the whole
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: idea of seeing someone on screen and that they go
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: beyond the normal, and that's what you're supposed to be,
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: the superstar, right, And that's the ultimate goal.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Right, because I think in some ways we've tied normal
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: to mediocre, right, which is not not the.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Case, right.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: But there's a lot of stuff tied into this word, right.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: And we're specifically focusing on body type today and that
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: can get tricky too, especially when it comes to separating
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: out healthy body types and variance with it within that,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: because in reality, there is no specific normal when it
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: comes to body shape or size.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: And that's not to say your body isn't normal. I
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: say that to myself all the time, like, this is
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: not normal, not normal.
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: I don't know what is going on, this is not
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: what's supposed to happen.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I think we all feel that way.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: But what we're trying to say is there just isn't
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: one body type that accounts for normal. Right, There's a
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: range of sizes between skinny and fat that are all
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: kind of normal. Yeah, And we here are not even
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: necessarily here, but are just constantly exposed to clothes designed
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: to look good for women on the skinnier side. And
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: that's not to say skinny women never run into problems.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I had a friend who was really tall and really skinny,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: and she frequently had to custom order her clothing because
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: they didn't have anything that fit.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Her and that was expensive.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: And lately we are hearing more and more about plus
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: sized clothes and affordable, well made plus sized clothes, but
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: we still have a very long way to go in
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: that it is happening. But yeah, we don't hear much
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: about the women in between that, And.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: Just to put this out there, we're not complaining that,
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: you know, that's a bad thing anyway whatsoever, because I know,
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: for the most part, there is more accessibility for quote
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: unquote the in between the skinny and the.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Plus sizes in availability.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: It's kind of like if we talk about skin tone
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: as well, one extreme to the other is harder to find,
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: you know. So that's not at all what we're saying,
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: But we do talk about the fact that even though
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: it may be there, it's not all the time seen. Yeah,
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: as we can tell, because I mean it definitely heard.
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: That whole idea of either you're too skinny or you're
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: not skinny enough or not fat enough to be on
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: television quote unquote yes, and different things like that, which
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: needs to be like, why isn't that a representation when
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: that is more average or more accurate as a population.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we'll get into this more. But basically, no,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of fashion is ignoring the majority of women.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So while there might be stuff available, it might not
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: look good on most women, right, But.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: We'll get into that more.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like you said, we don't really see this body
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: type that we're talking about in the media very often.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you remember this, but I remember this.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I remember when.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Leela and Stitch came out, there was all this news
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: about look at her thighs.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: They're regular size thighs. And I saw it and I
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: was like, those.
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: They still pretty skinny to me, I'm thinking, and you
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: were talking about that with the thigh stuff. There was
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: a cartoon and I don't know if it was like
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: the Beevis and butt Head cartoon, but it was.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: In that genre.
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: And Daria where there is a character of a blonde.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: She's the hot girl, but she had really thick thighs
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: and hips. But then she has tiny waist. So but
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: the thick thighs, I was like.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, maybe I'm okay because I got thighs for days,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: That's how I like to.
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: Say it, but definitely don't have that tiny tiny waist.
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: I'm like, oh man, they halfway got there. But maybe
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: that's the whole new thing, the whole you know, bigger butts,
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: bigger thighs, the hard dust in now I'll hold that.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: One time.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I was told that too, and I I was very
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: taken aback by it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'm just not up on what's going on. Actually,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely I wanna say you do a hidden miss.
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: Sometimes you know things that I'm like what, and then
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: other times you're like, no, I'm gonna go back to
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: my D and D world, which is also hip.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: I've just watch it started Stranger Things and all the
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: times like it's brought it back. I'm no longer than
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: a hip one I did.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I found the new season of Stranger Things in their
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: incorporation of D and D quite hilarious of it.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And I enjoyed it. Who knew I was so cool?
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: You are so cool?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, So we wanted to go over kind of what
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: is going on in this realm of normal body type.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: The average American woman is five foot three inches, which
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: is about one point six meters, with a thirty eight
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: point one inch waste circumference which is about point nine
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: six meters, and away of about one hundred and sixty
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: zero point five pounds which is about seventy six point
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: four kilos. And all of this researching, all of this
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: brought me back to when I was young and my
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: parents got me a normal sized barbie.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I think it was called average Barbie. Oh the name
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: of it. I was supposed to go.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Home this weekend. But I was gonna chry you're bring it.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: I got derailed. But it was it was Barbiesque, but
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: more realistically proportioned. I remember she was wearing a very
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: eighties power suit dressing.
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, in a power suit. I did not get that memo.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: It was called something like magical Me and her name
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: was Midge.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: It was something like that.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: It was yeah, Midge, I hope it was Midge and Samantha.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: You were looking up comparisons of Barbie over the years,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: like her size, and she's actually gotten less.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: It was weird because the nineties versus of the two
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: thousand Barbie were so different.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Of course, it kind of had that whole.
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: Cone booby shape versus like the little natural booby shape
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: and then the bigger booty for the two thousands.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: It was weird.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, the waste was so slim
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: it was unrealistic, and that whole body in size was
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: completely it looked significantly thinner.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, shocking.
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: I would have thought that by that, even that point,
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: they would have realized, hey, this is not real.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, and we've done many episodes on barbiehen we
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: could talk about Barbie forever. I know.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: The big argument is it easier to make clothes for one.
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: It's always the argument, though, isn't it. It was just
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: even at like women or those identify as female.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: And I looked into that and it's not true. But well,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: from what I've read, it's not true. I am no expert,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: but there are new body types of Barbie you can
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: get these days. One of them, there's three body types,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and one of them is curvy, and her body size
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: is a six R size six R eight and that
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: isn't even near the average woman. And yes, this is
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: for children, but it still influences what we think women
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: look like when we are on.
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: The fact that, you know, Barbies don't have any kind
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: of word anatomically correct body parts other.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Than well, you're welcome thought about that.
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: But I mean, if you really think about it, house
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: is really beneficial too, because outside of anyway, keep.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Going, I'm going to stop talking. I guess I'll ponder
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: that later.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: And I love this quote I found from Nikolai Lamb,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: who was trying to find a realistically proportioned Barbie for
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: his niece.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Quote.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I thought I'd be able to find one with realistic
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: body proportions. We put a man on the moon, and yes,
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: he couldn't find one. So he went on to create
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: and sell more realistically proportioned lamiie.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Dolls, Molly Doll, m h. I like that. And when
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I when I.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Was younger, I was a bit of a chubbier kid
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: for a while, and I had a very intense insecurity
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: around my body and buying clothes, like going shopping was
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: this huge stressful experience.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: So I would buy clothes that purposefully were too big.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Because I didn't want to like bring attention to anything right.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And I also was I had a fear of like
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: that moment when your mom.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Was like does it fit and you be like, no, bigger.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: So I'd always go off the size bigger.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And I still catch myself thinking that I am like
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: a sausage in casing.
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: You know what I think about the whole ham Maybe
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: the ham string, like was that in a thirty Rock episode.
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: I don't know, I think that's what it was. And
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: I have that same fear because for me, I did
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: the same thing. I was so self conscious of my
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: legs and my hips and all of that that I
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: would I didn't even wear jeans or shorts for the
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: longest time, like pretty much my first two years of college,
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: all you would see me in some random like skirts.
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: And when I say skirts, I'm talking to the floor
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: and usually T shirts, large T shirts. And part of
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: that is the whole like I need to cover myself up.
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: I don't want to show anybody anything because I don't
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: want you to know what I have underneath, So I'm.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Just gonna fake it about wearing something very, very large.
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: And you know, that's the whole ordeal with Billy Ellish,
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: the teen artist, and her phenomenon with her giant clothes,
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: which kind of throws me back to the early mid
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: nineties when we were wearing the genes ten times bigger
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: than you.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Don't talk about that. Oh yeah, yescos.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: I wanted to call the jing jingas that's that's how
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: old I am. I want to call it the name
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: of a game. But yeah, that's her whole thing is
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: like I don't want people to ask about my body.
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: I don't want them to know what I look like underneath.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: I don't want to be scrutinized for this or that,
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: so therefore I hide it. And that's really a shame
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: that it has to be that far. Then people are
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: so self conscious in this young person who shouldn't even
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: have to have to worry about that, is now already
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: making her self kind of an influence, which is awesome
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: by putting on the statement I hate that, and for me,
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: also part of the cult covering up with the whole
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: fluctuation game, which is very common for people who are
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: overly critical of themselves and constantly looking at their bodies.
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: This whole back and forth and back and forth, whether
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: it's because of their bad habits with food and healthy
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: habits with food, and healthy habits with exercising and healthy
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: habits of just mental health stuff, that whole fluctuation game,
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: And for me it was like, Okay, I'm just gonna
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: keep it really big so that I can no one
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: maybe will ever tell this was the whole thing, the
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: whole thing.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: And we'll get into more of this whole thing, but
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: first we're gonna pause for a quick break for word
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: from our sponsor.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: We're back. Think you spump there.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, So most clothing lines don't sell above a size twelve,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: and a lot of them don't sell above a size ten.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Here in the US, I know sizing is different in
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: other countries, and some have changed that. Some of these
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: clothing lines have changed that after a highly publicized report
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: came out with the headline that the average American woman
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: is a size fourteen, but even that was outdated because
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: a newer report found the average American woman is between
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: sizes fourteen and size sixteen. And yeah, just in case
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: you didn't know, sizes for women here in the US
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: are very confusing, confusing.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: They're not standardized, right, and it's going to what store?
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Yes? Oh, I mean even sometimes they're like brand, I
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: think I know this brand, a size whatever is this? No?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: No?
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: And there have been past episodes on it, so check
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: those out if you want to know more. Basically, you
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: really have no idea what's going on.
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: Health shopping is a personal health for me. I'm pretty
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: sure it's like level six of progatory.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Hmm. I can't stand it.
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: I'd love ordering online because of that, but there's a
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: good chance that if it doesn't fit, it's just gonna
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: be sitting in the corner because I don't even want
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: to deal with sending it back.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Oh really, yes see, that's another thing that I read
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: is tricky, because I mean, I should say I'm not
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: necessarily in this group we're talking about, so I don't
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: have or at least I don't have the same current experience.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: But I when I was reading about it, I read
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: that shopping online can be tricky. It is for all
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: of us, really, but there are almost no models outside
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: the thin range on most mainstream clothing sites, and it's
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: just really hard to say where things will lay.
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: So if you're not you have to review, like you
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: have to base your decision a lot of reviews as
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: well as there has.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: To be disclaimed. There's disclaimers.
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: Oftentimes it says fit an actual fit or not to
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: not to fit.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: So if they say if you typically medium, go up.
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: A side, like it's that level, and why can't it
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: just be up a size, then damn it, right.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: You're basically rolling the dice.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: And I love how Amazon has that thing and it's
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: like sixty chance right right.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: You just kind of sit there like, wait, how is
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: that then? Why? Just why? Then they have to give
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: you a chart and even that chart is all over
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: the place.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean the chart is depending on the
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: fact that you'll go and measure yourself.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Right, which I will not do. I try to avoid it.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: I try to avoid it.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Trend to your clothes often don't common a size above large,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Like if we're looking at small, medium line, a lot
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: of them don't go beyond that.
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: The whole new what is it? Clothing in a box?
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: People get send you those. Yes, that's become a new phenomenon,
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: which is fantastic, But I know there's only very few
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: for women who are plus size, and very few who
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: are actually cute clothes and that could actually fit, which
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: is really absurd because.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Rocksome things, yeah with that booty get it.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have one of those, and I love it.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: But I have so many friends who've tried it because
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: they know I have it, and they're like, oh gosh,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: let me test it out, and they can't, like have
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: a hard time finding something that fits right.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Not only that, but also the cost of it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, and for some reason, as you had said earlier,
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: and we've had episodes before, the fact that they charge
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: you more even though the actual labor doesn't cost that
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: much more.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the fabric doesn't cost that much more, which
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: is what I had assumed must be the reasoning, But
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: from what I read it, it really doesn't. And some
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: take issue with the use of plus size, right, since
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: so many of us fall in that fourteen to sixteen range,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: which is would be called plus size, and that is
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: the average as it were. And some think it's insulting
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: or demoralized.
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, it has its own section, right, I mean
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: when you go into different department stores or even its
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: own store.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Why would is.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: There a need to segregate in shopping? That seems so unnecessary?
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: In general, it's already already buy sizes everywhere anyway, so
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: add another step?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Come on?
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I read people just say, like seeing
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: that big sign and knowing where you.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: Have to go, right, And then I love it because
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: it's also oftentimes next to the maternity sizes. Come on,
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: come on, who's gonna buy clothes not buying that.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I had a really bad experience when I was younger
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: where somebody a relative mind told me I should shop
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: in the maternity ord and it really loved the mark.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: I can see why you don't want to go home
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: on things going I getn't now usually not invited to,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: But in an op ed piece from twenty seventeen, Tim
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Gunn wrote, it's a puzzling conundrum the average American woman
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: now wears between a size sixteen and a size eighteen.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: According to new research from Washington State University. There are
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: one hundred million plus size women in America, but many designers,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: dripping with disdain lacking imagination, are simply too cowardly to
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: take a risk still refuse to make clothes for them.
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and as you said, it can be noted ten
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: years ago the plus size range used to be twelve
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: to eighteen, and now it spans from six to fourteen.
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: So six is now can be included in a lot
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: of plus size ideas. And add to that again, statistically,
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: about half the American female where the size fourteen or
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: more as you were talking. So now to add more shame,
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: we're looking beyond the plus size or a big chunk
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: of our population. So we've added more and more of
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: the smaller sizes to that plus size range, but also
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: shrinked it made it smaller. Yes, just find a new
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: word to down to fourteen and that's not even within
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: that same average we talked about being fourteen to eighteen
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: as the new plus size and having half that population
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: be in that category.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: What is that absurdity that.
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: Even though we're becoming more and more aware, is still
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: more and more ostracizing than it was ten years ago.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't really make sense. And and something
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: else that confused me. It puzzled me when I read it.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: The women's clothing market is worth about one hundred and
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: ten billion dollars, and yet plus sized clothing only accounts
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: for sixteen percent of that, even though half, like you said,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: like the average woman is size sixteen.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: That doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't mathematically right.
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: I mean, and that's becoming a norm as we're talking
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: about normalized ideas. Why aren't we Why isn't our environment
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: changing with that? Like it's seemingly accepting it more it is.
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: But okay, let's say it's easier to celebrate that, but
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: not necessarily. We don't see society, society moving without the
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: industry moving with that. Yeah, unless you're Nike, which, hey,
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: good job Nike.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: You know I'm talking about right, Uh.
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: That the sports pros know the whole whole athletic gear up,
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: and they're they're starting to promote more and more plus
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: size or average sise.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Now we can say people in there.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: And there's been this huge controversy back and forth with
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: the fat shaming about why is Nike public, you know,
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: celebrating this, publishing this, and everybody's like, wait, what if
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: they're trying to if people are plus size who you
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: think are bigger and they're doing more and more exercise,
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: but why is that a bad thing?
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, that's the whole People are so judgmental when
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: it comes to eads.
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: And you know what, for me, when I exercise, if
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: I have Q clothes on, it motivates me more. Having
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: the right gear to do that type of exercise, I'm
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: more motivated to do it.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and just like that comfort of it.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: If you're uncomfortable because something doesn't fit you, well, I.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Will say yeah.
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: For the longest time, I would not exercise because I
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: was scared of being seen at a gym doing something.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was the same way, and I know most
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: of my female friends were the same way. Because you
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: feel like you're being judged, right, and you probably.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Are and you probably are no matter what.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: And so you want something that you feel good in,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: like a armor, right, so you can shrug that all right,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: screw you haters. The official or screw you haters of
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: twenty five major brands examined with a total of fifteen
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: five hundred brands. Within those so like twenty five major
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: clothing lines five hundred brands, only two point three percent
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: of the clothing was plus size.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: In an article from Fast Company, Alexandra Waldman of Women's
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Where Daily said, if we are still talking about a
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: plus sized market ten years from now, we have failed.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: And from what I read, there are no clothes are
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: very very little clothes designed specifically for the average sized woman.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: There are plus sized clothes, and then clothes designed with
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: skinny women mind that are then scaled up. And so
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: that means the waste of breast ratio and the waste
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: to hip ratio don't change. They are sized up, but
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: they do in like the human mind. Right, and those
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: that are appropriately sized up are more expensive.
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Women's Wear Daily calls sizes ten to sixteen the black hole.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Too thin for plus size, too big for regular.
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: Right. If you think about the whole modeling industry, Top Model.
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: I used to watch that way back when, and that
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: was a lot of the conversation. Like one of the
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: big things is if you came in this plus size, great,
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: but if you started losing weight, they started criticizing you.
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: Left and right. I remember watching a couple of miles.
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: They were like, either you need to lose another fifty
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: pounds or you need to keep that extra ten to
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: fifteen pounds that you're losing, and it was shaving them
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: in front of a panel, like you're not fat enough
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: again once again, and you're being too normal and no
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: one wants to see normal.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Oh that gives me anxiety right right.
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: And just watching that, you're like, what is happening and
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: then then being accepted as that's okay. Yeah to say that,
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: and people accepted it, and I was like, this is
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: a competition and you're like, wait, but why how does
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: this make sense?
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Right? Man? That hurt my heart.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I know right when it comes to formal clothes, finding
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: something that fits and looks well is an issue onto itself.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: I read a lot of that. God yeah, prom dress
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: shopping was such a nightmare.
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: Bridesmaid shopping, Oh yeah, I've been. I will say I've
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: been in like ten to fifteen weddings.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Uh huh. It's really bad. Too many friends, too well.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: I think they like to torture me because I've refused.
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: Since then, I'm like, I will not be a bridesmaid
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: don't ask me if you want me to be friends
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: with you. Don't ask me again, I wasn't gonna be
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: really fun, and I get to be really, really really
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: in a fun place and I don't have to wear
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: anything constricting or spend lots of money. Yeah, then maybe
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: because I spent a lot of money in my early
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: after college years. Yes, anyway, But if you look at
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: all of that, I remember going being compared to because
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: I would say, I'm five four and I'm definitely on
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: the thicker side, and I've always been on the thicker side.
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: I'm on the girl with the thighs. As I said,
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: yes all day, but like watching being in the same
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: room with a person who was a size two or
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: three and having to try the same dress on as
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: though that is.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: One of the most demoralizing moment, and everybody's like it
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: looks so nice, Oh my gosh, and you.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: Know, they're like, you're getting your headlight, you're lying to me,
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: You're making me look like I'm in a potato sack,
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: and I hate you. But that's the thing, I mean,
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: even with all of that, in comparison to when you
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: look at everyone else and you're standing next to everyone else,
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: in the same damn dress.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I hadn't thought about that,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: because of course it's not gonna fit everyone the same same.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: That's a good point. It's ugly. I don't like you.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: You the vague you out there. It might invite her
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: to a brism thing. Uh.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: And then there's the problem of a sinched waste, which
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: most clothes cinch where the natural waste is, which is
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: typically determined by where that would fall on a skinny person.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: And when you are not a skinny person, this can
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: lead to some very unflattering and ill flitting clothes. And
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I will say, for me, very difficult to zip as
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: a single lady.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: The single lady's of a dress.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I told you about the Amazon thing.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I put it on my birthday wish the Amazon gadget
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: that helps you zip your own dress.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: And also there's one thing about clipping your bracelet or
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: your jewelry.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I did, I did. I saw that when
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: I was it came up as like customers.
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: Also, hey, look, thanks technology for allowing me to be single, for.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Allowing me to do more than I ever thought possible.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: And then this is something I've heard from a lot
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: of my my friends, the bikini are not a bikini
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: problem when it comes to swimwear. And they told me
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: if you wear one piece that they feel like people
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: assume it's because you're self conscious, which you might be,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: but you also might prefer the comfort and not having
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: to worry about your breasts, which might be on the
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: bigger side spilling out. And I have had one my
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: band bus at not one, but two amusement parks on
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: a bikini, so I understand the word.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh gosh, it was not good.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: One of them got sucked in like it was a
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: water slide and right at the bottom of the top
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: cuts sucked.
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: The god what that is literally like a nerd comedy
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: from the nineteen age, or they actually do that on
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: purpose with the hot girls. Oh, but it's pretty much disgusting.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: Like I'm sure trying to do that essentially, I mean, yeah,
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: they're trying to do that.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: And yeah, this whole this isn't even mentioning the difficulty
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: of finding something that fits, or if you go the
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: bikini route, two pieces that fit, especially when those pieces
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: are sold together as one set.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: In your body might not work.
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I do appreciate the new mix and match idea
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: that has been fantastic, and with that we can actually
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: add this stigma of wearing too much on the beach
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: if you start thinking about the barkup bathing suit or
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: the Borkhini. Haita Zaniti was credited with inventing the bikini
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: in two thousand and four and was featured this year
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: on Sports Illustrated with a lot of criticism and backlash
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: and even with banned by many public areas, which is
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: so absurd and we already know there's been so many.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: Videos, YouTube videos and.
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: Facebook videos of people being scrutinized and criticized and even
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: shamed off a beach for having this on. It's kind
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: of like, what is this absurdity to the Islamic culture?
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: This is normal, It's not a bad thing. How can
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: it be too little or too much?
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: What is wrong with you? We cannot twin cannot In.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Modeling, women in the invisible eight to twelve size range
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: are called ultra and female consumers in that range are
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: called rat queens because they are just expected to buy
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: clothes even though they rarely see their size represented in
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: fashion shows or marketing materials, and a good portion of
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: design schools don't even have mannequins outside of sample sizes
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: for their students to learn to design.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Four So not a lot of that is great, but
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: we do have some more for you.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: But first we have one more quick break for word
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: from our sponsors.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: And we're back.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you sponsor. And so one of the things we
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: want to touch on is this is kind of hard
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: to talk about without offending people.
• 36:07
  Speaker 5: Are Yeah, we're going to make some people, and it's
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: going to be all about the fact that we're not
• 36:12
  Speaker 5: necessarily giving an opinion. But as much as like these
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: are some of the conversations that are.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Had and it's it's too.
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: All it's twenty nineteen, at least of the fact that
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: we have to be honest about the fact that it
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: is a conversation and it affects us on a daily
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: light a basis.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And like we mentioned earlier, a lot of people
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: do feel that there's some morality or that they can
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: judge people right around weight.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Right, and it goes both ways.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think one of the things that we
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: want to talk about was also about the BMI, which
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: is the body mass index and which has been used
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: a little more than just your typical weight skilled type
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: of thing. But as we were researching in and as
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: many people already know, the idea of the simple BMI
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: is nice enough, but actually just a quick assessment and
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: it doesn't tell the whole story, as it doesn't look
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: at the whole picture, such as fat versus muscle. For example,
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: elderly may show a normal BMI, but because the lack
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: of body muscle or body mass, it actually is an
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: inaccurate assessment in comparison to what's going on with our body.
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: A lot of factors outside of the simple numbers should
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: also be noted, such as body type or age, and
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: even ethnicity can come into play when you come to
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: the research. I mean, as an Asian person, apparently I
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: may have a little more longevity than a white person.
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: You don't say, But again, this is a lot of
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: assumptions and factors and just the generalization and overall and statistics.
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: So once it can when we come talk about statistics,
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: it doesn't always come obviously to the individual person, so
• 37:52
  Speaker 5: that should be noted as well. And according to the researchers,
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: people who are a bit overweight have higher survival rates.
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna lift forever, just say so, even research can't
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: really pinpoint what normal is without measurements, without all the
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: different factors for the individual person. So remember that if
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: you're going because I know people who go work out,
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: have personal trainers, do all this be andi things. Even
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: though they may have training and certifications, they don't necessarily
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: know what is best in your body.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Bobby's bodies are complicated. They're a lot are very,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: very very complicated.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And we wanted to touch on something that I
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: think we both struggled with, probably a lot of us
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: have struggled with. Is the difficulty around congratulating someone for
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: losing weight, right, because well, I mean, for one thing,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: you might not be sure why they lost the weight, right,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: It could have been it could be an illness or something.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: So there's that.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: But it comes up a lot for us because we
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: get asked for sponsorships around nutrition and exercise, and typical
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: language us around women doing that is basically losing weight. Right.
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: It's so tricky to have a conversation about body without
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: the double edged sort of being encouraging as well as damaging. Yeah,
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: And I think for me, I have played the weight
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: game all of my life.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: I've been in a lot of hard work of.
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: Exercising and being overly conscious of food choices and losing
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: weight and feeling proud of that. But I'm also the
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: one to quickly gain it back and feel the shame
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: of trying to cover it up and not notice the
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: faces of people who've been previously complimenting me to the
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: obvious change in conversation, and I will say, when I
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: had a very massive weight loss was due to my
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: depression and anxiety and medication. And right now there are
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: things happening with that body. I'm starting to think maybe
• 39:39
  Speaker 5: there's thyroid issues or whatever that I'm like, I'm getting
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: concerned because it's so abnormal. But this is the last
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: few years I've shown a lot of like fluctuation for me,
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: So there's this whole shame factor as well as feeling
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: encouraged because I do work hard.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: To maintain Now.
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: When I was a lot younger, I was a lot heavier,
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: and I also worked in a really high stress filled
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: so that alone added even more.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: And we know that stress can is stressed and lack
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: of sleep.
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: All of that does add to weight fluctuation as well
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: as health problems.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: Just in general health problems.
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: But there's so many things to this that I've had
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: friends who have worked really, really hard to become healthier
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: because they were either prebout.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: Diabetic or at heart issues.
• 40:24
  Speaker 5: As we're talking about, that included changing their body type
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: and also their confidence. So at the same time, for
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: those who I know really well, they ask to be
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: encouraged to continue that. Again, we talk about the fact
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: that it is a fine line and also it's none
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: of your damn business what their body looks like.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: That's the other part.
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: How do you get back the old trope of this
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: is what you should look like, so we should complement
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: to encourage versus just leave it be.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, if someone feels like things
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: such as eating programs may be helpful, how are we
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: to say not to do that?
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah? But again tricky.
• 41:08
  Speaker 5: It is tricky because it's the autonomy of individual bodies. Yeah,
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: and that's what we fight for. Right, But how do
• 41:14
  Speaker 5: we also encourage health.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because we want to celebrate all body types and
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: promote body positivity. We want to support folks who want
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: to build healthy habits, who want to be healthier for themselves.
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: And there can be attention there because.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: There are genetics involved, there are societal pressures involved. There's
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: billions of dollars in the diet and fitness industry involved,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: so it's hard. And I can say personally for me,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I have a friend who has lost a lot of weight,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: and I don't think she's done it healthily right, And
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: it's just hard because we're so programmed to think thinner
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: is better, you've done a good job right, and not
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: healthier is better, And so I don't know. I'm having
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: a really hard time handling what I should say to her.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: And had You and I have had so many conversations
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: about how we want to represent ourselves and be transparent
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: as well as maintain balance, and I think it's difficult
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: because we're all learning to love who we are and
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: how we are. At the same time, we want to
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: make sure we have a balance between that and honesty.
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: And for me, sometimes loving myself does not necessarily include
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: food yeah related things and or exercised related things, like
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: I know that there's something wrong with me if I
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: haven't exercised in over a week, and I mean along
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: the lines of depression, because a part of my motivation
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: and part of my stress relief is because of this,
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: and also it's a part of my social outing.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: I know that's really odd, but.
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: I get down sometimes and I'm really awkward, and I'm
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: an introvert to the core. Like I'm really great when
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: I have to be on, but if I don't shut off,
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: I may just crumble and with her and die.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: This has been the theme today.
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: You're welcome, But the fact is I get to go
• 43:04
  Speaker 5: out and meet new people, starting new relationships through the
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: different types of activities because I love doing. Like I've
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: talked about Cardio jam, I've made some really good friends
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: just dancing it out essentially. Yeah, you heard me dancing
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: it out, hip popping it out with my crew or
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: you know, with DeMarco, and yeah, he's the instructor, he's
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: my boy. But like we do a lot of things
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: and they know me to the point that if I'm
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: not there for a week, they're like, are you okay?
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: And that's a legitimate question, not because I'm not exercised,
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: not because I'm not you know whatever, out there sweating,
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: but because for me this is an outlet.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: But again, I know you have talked about having too
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: much of that, and that is like, how do we
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: become make sure that we are putting on a healthy
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: perspective on both ways, because I also can't aerate overdrink,
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: like one of my bad habits can be when I
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: get really rush. When I was starting out at defects,
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: I was eating a lot of fast food. Believe me,
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: that was not helping me at all. It did not
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: help my sleep habits, It did not help my heart habit.
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: You know, all of that, And that's kind of cost
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: for concern as well and the easy out.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so where is that balance?
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's it's honestly very difficult, I think because
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: you don't want to enable bad habits and other people.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: It's just it's really tough. And another thing we did
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: want to touch on briefly is something that we've kind
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: of mentioned is this moral judgment people feel entitled to
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: make around people's weight that maybe you're lazy or disgusting
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: or or even the other way for skinny people, like
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: maybe you don't eat.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: It all right.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just these kind of like snap judgments that we
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: feel okay with making a bound around usually women's bodies,
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: but everybody, you shouldn't be eating that. Not only does
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: that directly impact self confidence for women, that can reflect
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: that lack of self confidence can reflect in their clothing choices,
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: like it did for Samantha and I, which can affect
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: how you are perceived professionally, like we talked about in
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: the makeup portion of our routine episode.
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: I think that also goes for the conversations not even
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: directed at us. I remember just hearing people who have
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: perceived to be skinnier, prettier, in much better shape than
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: I am, talking about how much they need to change
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: or need to lose more.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: And I took that as a judgment about me.
• 45:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and I'm thinking, oh my god, if they think
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: they're skinny, they think they're fat. Yeah, how do they
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: look at me? Who is at least twice you're with?
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: And I'm also thinking that with kids. And I know
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: we've talked about this a lot, and I know there's
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: plenty of studies out there how we talk about watch
• 45:46
  Speaker 5: your conversations and watch what you're talking and how you're
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: talking to your teens, your adolescens, because you're teaching them
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: a habit. As a nanny, when I was talking to
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: the mother of the kids that were taken care of,
• 45:58
  Speaker 5: she is this beautiful and this like amazingly fit. All
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: of these things had babies and you would never know
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: all of these things, continually talking about diet, continually talking
• 46:09
  Speaker 5: about not being able to eat this, continually counting calories,
• 46:11
  Speaker 5: and her ten at that time, I think eight year
• 46:14
  Speaker 5: old was watching her and doing the same thing and
• 46:17
  Speaker 5: shaming her brothers to try to make them like stop
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: eating or reading less and all of these things, or
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: even talking about their gut and all of these things.
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: And I'm thinking, this is you have to be careful.
• 46:28
  Speaker 5: And don't get me wrong, the mother never said anything
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: to the kids. It wasn't like she was like, you're fat,
• 46:33
  Speaker 5: don't do this, don't do that. It was just what
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: they were hearing from the mother, and who obviously is
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: very very healthy, going overboard in that level, And I
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: think that's part of the problem we have, and now
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: it's just the overall generalized conversations that we have. It
• 46:48
  Speaker 5: pollutes everything around them. So you have to be super careful.
• 46:52
  Speaker 5: And I know for me sometimes I've talked with many people,
• 46:55
  Speaker 5: many women, We talk about counting calories, that it can
• 46:58
  Speaker 5: be healthy to a one extent, but really really really like.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: Over the top. Yeah, And I get that way.
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: I get competitive about I can't eat this, I can't
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: eat this, I can't eat this, but you have to
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: have a balance. So I know you were talking about
• 47:10
  Speaker 5: the apps that we eat. One of the apps that
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: you use actually told you you're not eating enough.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like, I think it's three days go
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: buy and you don't eat enough. It said like, well,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: we won't let you add stuff to it anymore.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: Whow you like start eating. You should be meeting this
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: at least this many.
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: Which is a good thing, which I really do appreciate
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: because that doesn't happen enough, and that gets an obsessive moments. Yeah,
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: that it gets kind of scared. I believe that's why
• 47:37
  Speaker 5: weight Watchers changed over to their point system, because people
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: were counting too much. With that it was kind of
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: affecting them. And then it took off some points for
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: average things like fruit and vegetables, because those are things
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: that are necessary and shouldn't be counted against you.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: I believe.
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, not that I'm We're not We're not sponsored by them,
• 47:56
  Speaker 5: but I just i'mink like people. I think things the
• 47:59
  Speaker 5: industry slowly changing. Yeah, not enough, obviously not enough, but
• 48:04
  Speaker 5: kind of taking that route of Okay, we need to
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: learn about being healthy h versus skinny. And again this
• 48:11
  Speaker 5: goes back to why are we talking about normal? This
• 48:14
  Speaker 5: is your normal. If you are happy, healthy, and everything
• 48:18
  Speaker 5: is good to go, that's normal.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 48:21
  Speaker 5: And I think we talked about the whole natural look
• 48:24
  Speaker 5: that's also different from everyone else as well, and that
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: shouldn't be judged based on anybody else's judgment. And this
• 48:30
  Speaker 5: whole basis of this is what you need to be
• 48:32
  Speaker 5: and this is not what we expect. It should be
• 48:35
  Speaker 5: thrown out of the window because that's the whole perspective,
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: and ethnicity and body type and gender, all of those
• 48:41
  Speaker 5: things should be out that window because the normal is
• 48:44
  Speaker 5: not normal anymore. We would kind of talked about in
• 48:47
  Speaker 5: trauma alone and the effects of trauma, and it can
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: come out into these specific things in feeling like you
• 48:53
  Speaker 5: have to build up to a certain point of your body,
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: a certain point of sizes or looks or whatever to
• 49:01
  Speaker 5: justify or try to cover up past humiliations, past hearts,
• 49:07
  Speaker 5: past abuses.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: And that's kind of the problem, is that the.
• 49:11
  Speaker 5: Reason there is no norm is nobody has the same past.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I hope that we'll see more good representations, yes,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: of all body types, right, and the industry will make more,
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: and I hope that more clothing that fits well looks
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: well is designed specifically for women in this what has
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: so long been quote a black hole, right, And I
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: hope that for some people listening, maybe you realize you're
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: a lot less alone than you thought you.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: Were, and just kind of wrap it all up once again.
• 49:54
  Speaker 5: There are people who actually are out there showing and
• 49:58
  Speaker 5: being good. Examples such as Mandy Killing, Beyonce, Rihanna, Jamila,
• 50:04
  Speaker 5: you said it, I don't, Jamila, Jamila Jamil. Those people
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: are amazing and calling out the stereotypes and the negativity
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: and the Hollywood standards and media standards, and that's fantastic.
• 50:17
  Speaker 5: And I think with a lot of our own insecurities
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: that we just talked about, I just I had remembered
• 50:24
  Speaker 5: times where I heard women or people who actually love
• 50:27
  Speaker 5: themselves actually talk about how they feel good about their hair,
• 50:30
  Speaker 5: they're feeling good about their outfit. And my first thought
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: was that seems kind of conceited. But that's kind of
• 50:35
  Speaker 5: a programmed idea in us that we have to be humble,
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: and being humble means being really really hard on ourselves,
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: and that's absurd.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: And for those who got it, yeah, girl, Yeah, show it.
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: You got that booty, Yeah, show that thing off. You
• 50:52
  Speaker 5: got the hair, toss that up, show everybody what you got.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: You got the red.
• 50:56
  Speaker 5: Lipstick, because that is amazing and for or many of
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: us when we have a good day, embrace.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: That day, love it, show it off. Kind of like how.
• 51:07
  Speaker 5: Tina Fey encouraged Britney Spears way back when in the
• 51:10
  Speaker 5: SNL episode or SNL news clip. She was like, rub
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: that thing with fine oils. Yeah, you treat yourself and
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: go ahead and love yourself and please show that that's
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: an influence thing. You're feeling good, you need to take
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: a selfie.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Go for it. Proud of you. Teach me the ways.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that is one of the biggest pieces
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: of advice you always see. It is like find something
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: you love about yourself, and you know, at least in
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: your own head, think you know what, Yes, today my
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: eyes look very nice.
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: So Annie, Yes, tell me something that you like about
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: yourself today.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: I love my eyes. Yes, and they're twinkling. Thank you.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: I love my skin. There you go. Yes.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: That brings us to the end of this episode. You
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: would love to hear hear from people about your your
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: woes or triumphs when it comes to clothing and shopping.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: You can email us at stuff Media, mom Stuff at
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast and on Instagram at stuff Ione Never
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Told You. Thanks as always to our super producer Andrew Howard.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Andrew.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Thanks to you for listening stuff ohever told you his
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Is that how stuff works.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.