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Yogurt, Phil Collins, and the Madness of the Bracket · Ryan's Journal

• 0:07
  So I was looking at this...
• 0:08
  this whole tournament breakdown, and, uh, it turns out five percent milk fat
• 0:15
  yogurt is currently undefeated.
• 0:26
  Undefeated?
• 0:27
  Five percent milk fat?
• 0:29
  Twice in a row.
• 0:30
  Went to the deep freezer, picked all five percent milk fat,
• 0:35
  and boom, back to back victories.
• 0:38
  Because non fat milk...
• 0:40
  non fat milk just does not fill you up.
• 0:44
  It folds under pressure.
• 0:46
  See, that is stamina!
• 0:48
  That is what I am talking about!
• 0:50
  You go with the weight, you go with what delivers results, not the thin weak stuff!
• 0:56
  Right, but then the bracket, um, it just completely branches off into pure chaos.
• 1:03
  We have Phil Collins entering the ring.
• 1:05
  Another Day in Paradise won, and then Fairy Tale won right after.
• 1:11
  Phil Collins has serious momentum.
• 1:14
  You put Phil Collins on the board, people lock in.
• 1:18
  That is a powerhouse.
• 1:20
  Sure, but explain to me how...
• 1:21
  how slot machines beat out the planet Jupiter.
• 1:27
  A casino game took down an entire giant gas planet.
• 1:32
  Because slot machines generate energy, Jesse!
• 1:36
  Jupiter is just sitting out there in space doing nothing.
• 1:39
  Spectacle beats size every single day of the week!
• 1:42
  I mean, fair point.
• 1:44
  Look at the dynasty runs we have logged so far.
• 1:47
  Poncheros had like...
• 1:49
  four or five victories in a row.
• 1:52
  Absolute juggernaut.
• 1:54
  Big Lots pulled off a couple wins, Yellow Marker was in the mix.
• 1:59
  Poncheros was dominating!
• 2:01
  That is a five fight winning streak.
• 2:04
  That is dominance!
• 2:06
  So now we arrive at two thousand and twenty-six.
• 2:10
  And the big question hanging over the entire board is...
• 2:15
  can Madonna pull off a third straight championship?
• 2:19
  A third title in a row.
• 2:21
  That puts her in historic territory.
• 2:24
  But who is standing in her way?
• 2:26
  It is a stacked gauntlet.
• 2:28
  You got Nick Smith, who won big last time, total winner take all situation.
• 2:33
  You got Jerry Junkman.
• 2:35
  You got Apple Cider Vinegar, or...
• 2:38
  wait, maybe it was Protein Shake?
• 2:40
  There is some debate on whether Apple Cider Vinegar actually took the whole thing.
• 2:45
  It does not matter if it was vinegar or protein, Nick Smith and Jerry Junkman are
• 2:51
  heavy hitters.
• 2:52
  If Madonna wants to win two thousand and twenty-six, she has to march right through
• 2:57
  all four of them.
• 2:58
  But see, here is the hesitation.
• 3:01
  Is it worth putting those past champions on the line?
• 3:05
  If you set up Madonna against Nick Smith, Jerry Junkman, and Apple Cider
• 3:10
  Vinegar...
• 3:12
  you risk knocking out those established record holders just to test Madonna.
• 3:18
  That is fear talking!
• 3:20
  You do not protect records by hiding champions in a closet!
• 3:24
  You put them in the arena!
• 3:27
  It reminds me of how I keep track of things in my own life,
• 3:30
  honestly.
• 3:31
  I have this weird, stubborn system where I rank brand name potato chips in my
• 3:36
  pantry.
• 3:37
  And if a single brand goes on a three week run, I start getting protective of it.
• 3:43
  I will literally eat something I like less just to keep the streak alive.
• 3:48
  That is playing to lose, Jesse!
• 3:50
  You are protecting a chip!
• 3:52
  It is about protecting history, Donna!
• 3:55
  Listen to me, protecting Jerry Junkman or Nick Smith just because they won in the
• 4:00
  past is classic hesitation.
• 4:03
  Stagnation kills momentum.
• 4:05
  If Madonna is truly the star of two thousand and twenty-six,
• 4:10
  she needs to prove it against raw disruptors.
• 4:13
  I guess there is a weird kind of comfort in all these arbitrary systems,
• 4:18
  though.
• 4:19
  When everything outside in the world feels completely unpredictable and chaotic,
• 4:25
  you sit down and you match up Phil Collins against yogurt, or Madonna against apple
• 4:31
  cider vinegar.
• 4:32
  Because it gives you a scoreboard.
• 4:34
  Power is about who controls the narrative and who keeps moving forward.
• 4:38
  As long as you are setting up the matchup, you are in charge.
• 4:42
  So looking ahead to two thousand and twenty-six...
• 4:45
  does it even matter if Madonna wins, or Nick Smith wins, or protein shake wins?
• 4:52
  It matters because winning proves strength.
• 4:55
  But the real loss only happens if you freeze up and refuse to roll the dice.
• 5:00
  Yeah.
• 5:01
  Maybe the real victory is just staying in the room and keeping the bracket alive.