Latest / Vigilante Vibes Podcast / Ep. 108. Elevating the Nerdy Voices of the Rainbow: Episode 18 - Adam the Geek Therapist!

Transcript

Ep. 108. Elevating the Nerdy Voices of the Rainbow: Episode 18 - Adam the Geek Therapist! · Vigilante Vibes Podcast

• 0:16
  Hello to all the comic fans, Marvel geeks, and all the nerds
• 0:18
  in between. Welcome to another episode of
• 0:19
  the Vigilante Vibes Podcast where we talk all things Marvel
• 0:22
  along with other fandoms, but without the toxicity that's
• 0:24
  taken up way too much space in each and every fandom.
• 0:27
  I'm your host, Megan Nicole, and we're here to have another
• 0:29
  episode of Elevating the Nerdy Voices of the Rainbow, where we
• 0:32
  lift up the voices of the LGBTQ plus communities.
• 0:35
  Today joining me, I have a very special guest.
• 0:38
  They are a geek therapist and I'm so excited to talk about
• 0:41
  what they do. Please welcome Adam.
• 0:43
  Great. Thank you for having me, Megan.
• 0:45
  Thank you for coming on. I'm so excited to get to know
• 0:48
  you. I'm excited to be here.
• 0:50
  So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
• 0:52
  Sure. So like you said, my name is
• 0:55
  Adam. I, I'm in Florida currently,
• 0:57
  which is a lot of fun in this day and age working with LGBTQ
• 1:02
  issues. I'm actually a career changer.
• 1:05
  I started work in the film and television industry, moved to
• 1:10
  Florida to teach. I got my PhD in media psychology
• 1:14
  because I was really interested in researching and how media
• 1:18
  impacts us and how we impact it. And then the Pulse nightclub
• 1:21
  shooting happened in 2016, right?
• 1:25
  I think so. I should know that, but my brain
• 1:29
  just completely went blank. But anyway, after the Pulse
• 1:33
  nightclub shooting, I decided I wanted to help find different
• 1:37
  ways of helping people and helping the community over just
• 1:39
  researching. And so I went back to school to
• 1:41
  get my clinical mental health counseling degree and found geek
• 1:46
  therapy in that process. And I often say that my college
• 1:50
  gave me permission to be a counselor of a geek therapy gave
• 1:53
  me permission to be the counselor I want to be.
• 1:56
  And so that's where I am today as as a geek therapist is it's
• 2:00
  kind of long winding narrative Rd. that's all connected.
• 2:05
  I love that, and it was 2016 I checked.
• 2:09
  I love it. This whole.
• 2:12
  There needs to be so much more therapy in the world.
• 2:14
  But making it, being a geek therapist, that's such a great
• 2:17
  way to be able to relate to clients on such a whole new
• 2:20
  level. Can you tell me more a little
• 2:22
  bit about being a geek therapist?
• 2:24
  Sure. Yeah, it's, it's exactly as you
• 2:26
  said, it's, it's about reaching clients on a less academic
• 2:30
  level. I found that.
• 2:33
  And I'm, I'm not alone in this. The geek therapy community
• 2:36
  found, I should say, when we can connect people with their
• 2:39
  interests, they're more likely to remember the things that
• 2:42
  they're working on or the things that we are working on them
• 2:45
  with. So I often joke that I'm quoting
• 2:48
  Freud. I'm, I'm sorry, I'm not quoting
• 2:49
  Freud, I'm quoting Iron Man, Right.
• 2:52
  So it's looking for those things that the client enjoys so that
• 2:55
  they can go out in the world and, and work on those coping
• 2:58
  skills or work on their trauma outside of our sessions using
• 3:02
  the things that they like. And I've had clients tell me
• 3:05
  that they didn't realize therapy could be fun.
• 3:09
  It's hard at times, but also they, they kind of walk away
• 3:12
  going, oh, wow. I can actually apply this to, to
• 3:15
  things that I enjoy. And I love your intro about
• 3:18
  toxic fandom. And something I'm interested in
• 3:21
  and researching more of is what do we do when the creators of
• 3:25
  our fandoms go toxic? Like, how do we reconcile that
• 3:29
  as fans, especially in certain communities?
• 3:32
  Yeah, 'cause there's been, it's happened quite a bunch with Josh
• 3:37
  Whedon, for instance, We all, no one can say he's not a talented
• 3:41
  person, but he was found to be extraordinarily toxic.
• 3:45
  So it's like, what do you do? They, He still made some of my
• 3:50
  favorite movies, but it's like, oh, you kind of have to depend
• 3:56
  on them to realize the platform they have.
• 3:59
  I mean, JK Rowling for Harry Potter is the perfect example.
• 4:05
  She, so many people had their childhoods wrapped around
• 4:12
  Hogwarts and Harry Potter and finding that place that you
• 4:15
  actually feel at home and where you're accepted just to find out
• 4:18
  she's the biggest piece of trash around.
• 4:22
  So it's, I think a lot of people are, while they're very, very
• 4:26
  upset at the bigotry, they're also very hurt because this was
• 4:29
  someone we thought understood that we all kind of felt safe
• 4:34
  with because she created a world that we found our comfort in.
• 4:38
  Yeah, that in that world, I think another part that's
• 4:41
  confusing with Harry Potter in particular is that world is
• 4:44
  built on found family and love and and support and resilience.
• 4:51
  And. And then the fandom even gave
• 4:53
  her multiple times like, wait, is that what you meant?
• 4:57
  No, no, that's not what you meant, right.
• 4:59
  And then eventually it just got to the point where it's like,
• 5:01
  all right, we can't ignore it anymore.
• 5:04
  And there are other problems that have kind of come out
• 5:07
  within the Harry Potter world as far as like how certain kind of
• 5:11
  like in DND, how certain groups are represented, you know, like
• 5:16
  the been a while since I've watched or read Harry Potter.
• 5:21
  Not trolls. Goblins.
• 5:23
  The the banker, Yeah, the the goblins.
• 5:28
  Right, I can't. My brain's not working today
• 5:30
  when it comes to those characters.
• 5:32
  Oh, it's, it's that kind of day. It is.
• 5:35
  It feels like a Monday, but it's a Wednesday.
• 5:37
  It's a Monday. It's Wednesday of all time.
• 5:40
  But I also, something I like to do in my practice is I love
• 5:43
  having tangible items that people can touch and play with
• 5:46
  and have tactile like you can see behind me.
• 5:48
  I've got a whole bunch of stuff on my, my shelf and different
• 5:52
  books. And so when I'm doing like
• 5:54
  running a therapeutic Dungeons and Dragons game or a tabletop
• 5:58
  role-playing game, I like to have props they can play with.
• 6:01
  And so it's not just theater of the mind, it's also, you know,
• 6:04
  there's a tangible thing they can interact with to enhance
• 6:08
  those experiences. That's really cool.
• 6:11
  So it's really the whole therapy experience, but very much geek
• 6:14
  themed. Is there a certain character
• 6:17
  that you found that works pretty universally with a lot of your?
• 6:22
  Clients. Not any singular character
• 6:26
  because it really depends on the client, but like, for instance,
• 6:29
  if I have clients who are into horror, we might use SAW and use
• 6:36
  some of the traps as metaphors for what whatever their issues
• 6:40
  are. Like I had a client who I've, we
• 6:43
  were working on anxiety and so we use they, they really, I like
• 6:48
  the reverse bear trap and saw. And so we use that as a metaphor
• 6:51
  for their anxiety and reminded them that they have the ability
• 6:57
  to unlock it at any time. So when they left therapy, I
• 6:59
  gave them a key just as like a going away present that they can
• 7:04
  wear and just remind themselves if it starts to get too tense
• 7:06
  from remember you always hold the key.
• 7:10
  Same thing like with Iron Man, you know some, some see Tony
• 7:14
  Stark as a character they relate to, some see Iron Man and same
• 7:18
  thing with Batman. Is it Bruce Wayne or is it
• 7:20
  Batman? Like who's the real?
• 7:24
  Who's in? Who's in charge here?
• 7:27
  Yeah. Well, that's really nice.
• 7:29
  That's. I love how you have so many
• 7:31
  different themes. Have you found that this has
• 7:34
  helped you in your life? Oh 100% it's actually I was
• 7:39
  listening to a comedian recently, Mateo Lane, who made
• 7:43
  the joke that if you ever want to find out some like somebody's
• 7:46
  sexuality, just ask them who their favorite X-Men character.
• 7:49
  Was. If it's Storm, they're gay.
• 7:52
  And I grew up, and Storm was my favorite character, so I was
• 7:54
  like, hey, well, that's true, OK.
• 7:57
  That's I'm not gay, but like, now that you say it, every
• 8:03
  person of the LGBTQ community has always gone for Storm or
• 8:08
  Dazzler. You're right.
• 8:09
  It's. It's I don't think that's
• 8:12
  founded in a scientific proof, but it does seem.
• 8:15
  Coincidental. Yeah, that's.
• 8:18
  That's very interesting. But so your favorite was Storm?
• 8:21
  That's a hell of a character. She's phenomenal.
• 8:26
  And I don't. Even know if I realized as a kid
• 8:28
  what the character represented, I just, she was a, you know, a
• 8:32
  powerful character who was flawed and had like, I remember
• 8:36
  she was claustrophobic and you know, so even she's this goddess
• 8:41
  who can control the weather, which I always thought was the
• 8:43
  best power because like, I don't want to go to school, make it
• 8:45
  snow or living in Florida. It's like, I want cold weather,
• 8:50
  but it's I, I, I don't think I understood the nuances of those
• 8:55
  until later in life. And I was like, Oh, I could see
• 8:58
  how how these are, you know, she's how she represents this
• 9:01
  power just beyond her mutant ability, right?
• 9:04
  And she also has a confidence about her.
• 9:08
  She comes with so, so much depth.
• 9:11
  And are you currently reading any of the Storm comics?
• 9:16
  I'm not. I fell out of the comics a long
• 9:18
  time ago because I didn't have the money to keep purchasing.
• 9:21
  That's fair. And then X-Men is such a broad
• 9:23
  universe that I'm like, I don't even know where to start.
• 9:26
  Well, they did just reboot it this past year.
• 9:28
  So it's all called From the Ashes.
• 9:32
  So if you were interested in getting back in it, that would
• 9:34
  be the exact time because it's all new from the fall of
• 9:38
  Krakowa. They just they restarted.
• 9:40
  There's new teams. Storm has her own her own series
• 9:46
  right now. That's amazing to say the very
• 9:50
  least. But everything they're doing is
• 9:53
  pretty amazing, and they're tackling a lot of different
• 9:55
  issues as well, like things that modern people are going through.
• 9:59
  So I think you'd really dig it. When have you seen Thunderbolts?
• 10:04
  Yes, I was going to ask you about that next.
• 10:06
  Yeah, actually. So I guess spoiler alert for
• 10:10
  anybody who hasn't seen it, Although I just realized that
• 10:12
  the company's changed the name, which is yeah, I get, but at the
• 10:17
  same time, like it just came out.
• 10:19
  They could have waited a week. They didn't have to do that.
• 10:22
  That was just, I just want to take over marketing for Marvel
• 10:25
  just for a week and I think I'd have it back on track well.
• 10:28
  The strangest thing about their marketing is that they don't
• 10:30
  have to market that they're so like the end game.
• 10:34
  They could have just put up the title card of end game and they
• 10:36
  still would have made a billion dollars, right?
• 10:37
  Like 100 people were still going to go see that movie.
• 10:40
  But one thing I think Thunderbolts is a good example
• 10:43
  of where Marvel is hitting on all cylinders because the TV
• 10:49
  shows that came after End Game, One Division, Falcon, Winter
• 10:52
  Soldier, Hawkeye all did a really good job of bringing in
• 10:55
  mental health issues with those characters that were relatable.
• 11:01
  So it wasn't just about these powerful characters kicking butt
• 11:05
  and Thunderbolts did that as well.
• 11:07
  Where the the villain really is depression, right?
• 11:10
  Is the void the call of the void and this darkness that just kind
• 11:15
  of keeps pulling at you and all those characters are going
• 11:18
  through something. I do think it was a little too
• 11:21
  long between when we first met them to now, but I think it was
• 11:26
  a success because there was a depth to them that maybe the
• 11:29
  Eternals and Shang Chi and some of those others were lacking
• 11:34
  because it was more about, oh look, it's visually it's cool,
• 11:37
  but there wasn't depth to it. And I feel like this film really
• 11:40
  did a nice job of connecting us to something we all might go
• 11:44
  through. And even Florence Pugh talked
• 11:46
  about on a talk show recently that she found help in her life
• 11:51
  by playing that character in Thunderbolts because she didn't
• 11:54
  realize she wasn't doing OK. And so it gave her permission to
• 11:58
  be like, oh, wait, I'm not doing OK.
• 11:59
  Let me talk about this. Let me talk to somebody.
• 12:01
  And that all came about through the story of, according to her,
• 12:05
  through the story of Thunderbolts.
• 12:07
  I could definitely see that because you could see that
• 12:09
  Florence Pugh put so much passion into her performance of
• 12:13
  Thunderbolts. It had to come from somewhere.
• 12:16
  I think her and Lewis Pullman, they were obviously the
• 12:19
  standouts and their message throughout the movie hit on so
• 12:24
  many different levels. I left the movie thinking like I
• 12:28
  really needed to see that. It's seeing that kind of
• 12:32
  representation because you have Iron Man 3 where you see Tony
• 12:35
  going through his PTSD. You have Wanda Vision where you
• 12:38
  see her going through the steps of grief.
• 12:40
  But this, for me personally was something I could relate to.
• 12:44
  And when I left, I was like, Oh my God, superheroes can feel
• 12:49
  that too. It's like you're seeing all your
• 12:50
  thoughts put in a movie and you're like, the words you're
• 12:55
  not alone finally means something because you get told a
• 12:59
  lot. You're not alone.
• 13:00
  You're not alone in all this. And it's like, that's nice, but
• 13:04
  you're kind of alone and all that dealing with it.
• 13:07
  And then you see it and you're like, oh, maybe I'm not and.
• 13:10
  When you're in the middle of it too, it's hard to see the help.
• 13:14
  It's hard to see your community and some some one of the best
• 13:17
  things a community can do or your friends can do or family is
• 13:21
  just sit with you, right? Sometimes it's not about solving
• 13:24
  a problem. That was the hardest thing for
• 13:26
  me to learn as a counselor was yeah, that sucks that's
• 13:29
  horrible. Rather than like, well let's try
• 13:31
  to solve the problem. It's sorry I had to thought my
• 13:38
  my ADHD just kicked in. CS counselors also has problems.
• 13:42
  Too I can. Say something about that and.
• 13:44
  I just, I do this like every time.
• 13:46
  Don't worry, it's OK. But yeah, the the that was
• 13:50
  something I loved about Thunderbolt was the idea that
• 13:54
  the people didn't die like when they were, or at least they look
• 13:59
  like they did, but really they were kind of stuck in their own
• 14:01
  personal hell, which is what trauma does, right?
• 14:04
  We spiral down and something has to pull us out.
• 14:10
  That was the only, my only qualm with the movie was I felt like
• 14:12
  it was a little little anticlimactic in the end.
• 14:15
  Like it felt like it happened a little like they went into the
• 14:18
  whatever that the void area is. They found each other pretty
• 14:22
  quickly and then they came out of it.
• 14:25
  I think the I I could see that I didn't personally find it anti
• 14:29
  climactic because I just, I related to it so well.
• 14:32
  And by the end of it, I think they played off this whole
• 14:35
  mystery of the asterisk, like what is Thunderbolt asterisk
• 14:38
  mean? And it was finally revealed and
• 14:40
  you're like, oh, OK, so that's the main thing.
• 14:44
  That's where we're at. But then they had the post
• 14:47
  credit scenes too, that showed that they really are going into
• 14:52
  this new team that they created and the Thunderbolts.
• 14:55
  And I'm very excited to see where they go.
• 14:57
  I'm excited to see how Yelena and Bob do with their ongoing
• 15:04
  mental problems. Well, not problems, but mental
• 15:06
  issues. And especially with Bob saying
• 15:11
  that he's can't be Century because of the void.
• 15:15
  That's what I'd like to see. Why?
• 15:17
  Where that control is of that void which is the depression.
• 15:23
  And I hope that's something they explore because I love that they
• 15:27
  put that in there, that one can't exist without the other.
• 15:31
  But we don't want one to overtake like we don't want the
• 15:34
  void to overtake the good. And so he'll probably have to.
• 15:38
  And hopefully we see that or something to that effect where
• 15:41
  he's got to learn those coping skills.
• 15:43
  And how do you let, how do you become one and acknowledge of
• 15:48
  the other ones kind of always present?
• 15:51
  So something that we talked about with our clients a lot is
• 15:55
  because a lot of people sometimes come in and they're
• 15:56
  like, you know, I don't want to feel this way anymore.
• 15:58
  Fix me, fix me. And it's like, well, I can't
• 16:00
  guarantee that this feeling will ever go away, but the hope is
• 16:03
  that we can maybe lessen the intensity of it.
• 16:07
  And I see that with Bob, right? So when it's so intense, he
• 16:11
  becomes this like I need, I need to cleanse the world of this
• 16:15
  because darkness is everywhere. But he's going to have to learn
• 16:19
  how to how to manage that as we all do.
• 16:24
  Yeah, I agree completely. I think a lot of people go into
• 16:28
  therapy thinking, OK, I'm going to be fixed.
• 16:31
  And I think it, it's I'm sure it's not that simple.
• 16:35
  It's not OK, I'll tell you it's a breathing exercise.
• 16:38
  You'll get through. It's never.
• 16:39
  It's so, so much work. And I love that your making it
• 16:45
  to where it is a comfortable bit of work, something we can relate
• 16:48
  to, we can find comfort in because a lot of nerds, our
• 16:51
  comfort is these fandoms are the comics are the games, everything
• 16:56
  you're doing. So I think what you're doing is
• 16:58
  absolutely brilliant. And you said there's a whole
• 17:00
  community of you guys doing this.
• 17:03
  Yeah, there's I got my certification through a company
• 17:05
  called Geek Therapeutics. There's another company called
• 17:08
  geektherapy.org. I also got my gaming
• 17:13
  certification through Game to grow, Games to grow or game to
• 17:17
  grow. I can never remember if there's
• 17:18
  an S they're based out in Seattle.
• 17:22
  So yeah, there's a whole community out there of, of nerdy
• 17:26
  therapists that all kind of come out of from different
• 17:30
  approaches. And something to also think
• 17:31
  about with with geek therapy is kind of like when any new
• 17:36
  therapy model comes out, there's always kind of this, you know,
• 17:40
  tilt your nose up at it type thing.
• 17:42
  But we're not not doing the traditional therapy right.
• 17:47
  It's still brooded and evidence based material.
• 17:52
  We're just kind of reframing it in a way to make it more
• 17:56
  accessible and relatable. Clients don't want to unless
• 18:01
  they are more academic person. They don't really want to quote
• 18:04
  Freud. They may not remember Freud, but
• 18:06
  they do remember their favorite Persona game or the character
• 18:12
  they built. I build characters with with
• 18:14
  clients all the time. Indeed, to represent either a
• 18:18
  strength that they they want in life or maybe a monster that
• 18:22
  they're trying to fight. So to to kind of give them again
• 18:27
  something tangible that they can take with them.
• 18:30
  Wow, so how? I don't really know how to ask
• 18:35
  it. So not all of us are so in in
• 18:39
  vault with so many different fandoms, is it hard to try to
• 18:43
  dive into a fandom to learn about it so you're able to use
• 18:46
  it in your therapy? 100% yes, it is.
• 18:51
  That was the other thing that I had to learn is I don't have to
• 18:54
  be the expert at everything. So you mentioned Joss Whedon
• 18:57
  earlier. I grew up as a huge Buffy fan.
• 19:00
  I wanted to be a screenwriter. I looked up to Joss Whedon.
• 19:03
  I've got comic books on one of the shelves.
• 19:05
  His name is in big letters on the side of those.
• 19:10
  So I, I know like, you know lots about horror films, a little bit
• 19:14
  about X-Men, because I grew up with that.
• 19:16
  I know almost nothing about anime.
• 19:19
  I wrote a book chapter for one of the geek therapy psychology
• 19:22
  geek therapy books called The Psychology of My Hero Academia.
• 19:26
  And my chapter was on how metaphor was used in the show.
• 19:32
  And I had to watch a lot of it and do a lot of research because
• 19:34
  I wasn't up on on that. I don't know why my Discord is
• 19:38
  going off. It's not even turned.
• 19:39
  On mine is too. OK good.
• 19:42
  Mine went off a couple times too and I was like I I have it on
• 19:46
  silent why? Yeah, it's mine's not even on
• 19:48
  anyway. So yeah, it's what I do with
• 19:53
  that when that happens is I will use, well, it sounds bad, use my
• 19:58
  clients. I.
• 20:00
  Rely on my clients to teach me and that's been really helpful
• 20:03
  with teens or people who are resistant to therapy.
• 20:05
  I hope this doesn't like give away a a secret.
• 20:09
  But if I don't know something and somebody doesn't want to
• 20:12
  talk, you know, just asking somebody how how are you
• 20:13
  feeling? A lot of times you get, I don't
• 20:15
  know, but it's like, hey, what color is your lightsaber today?
• 20:19
  Right. Yeah.
• 20:20
  And based on your emotion. Oh, it's red.
• 20:23
  Oh, OK. Let's explore that.
• 20:25
  Like, why is it red? It was green last week.
• 20:27
  What happened? Yeah.
• 20:29
  You know, so sometimes coming at it from a different thing and
• 20:31
  then if I don't understand it, like personas, I bought the game
• 20:34
  because of one of my clients loves Persona and so I wanted to
• 20:37
  learn it, but I rely on them to tell me about the characters and
• 20:41
  kind of the lore behind it. So I don't I just don't have the
• 20:44
  time to go through and like read everything and, you know, watch
• 20:47
  and some anime. Somebody suggested One Piece to
• 20:50
  me and I was like, it's like 700 episodes.
• 20:52
  Oh no, it's like over 1000 episodes.
• 20:55
  Absolutely not, but I I like that though, it shows you're
• 20:58
  learning from them too and you're willing to go that extra
• 21:01
  mile to be able to relate to them on their level.
• 21:06
  Yeah, we only something I have to remind myself a lot of, but
• 21:10
  I'll remind my clients too is we have 50 minutes, 50 together,
• 21:15
  maybe a little longer, maybe a little shorter depending on the
• 21:17
  session a week all the work happens out in the world.
• 21:22
  So if we spend the session talking about the movie you saw
• 21:27
  and don't really connect it to anything, then that might be
• 21:29
  another week until we actually get and sometimes that's what
• 21:31
  people need. Like it's fine.
• 21:35
  My goal is I'm, I, I taught myself as I'm your player too.
• 21:41
  I, I'm along for the journey. I'm the guide and Zelda, who is
• 21:44
  helping you along, but you're the one who has to go and do all
• 21:46
  the work. So it I don't want to push my
• 21:50
  interests on to you, I want to use your interests to help you.
• 21:54
  I might use mine as maybe a narrative structure to make a
• 21:58
  point, but it's not about me, it's about the person sitting
• 22:02
  across from me. Wow, that's really, I really
• 22:06
  love that. I think what you're doing is
• 22:08
  such an amazing thing. I mean, I think the world needs
• 22:12
  therapy like all of us do, but to see it in such a way, like
• 22:17
  like I'm not a therapy kind of person, but I think I could do a
• 22:21
  geek therapy because I'm not into talking about emotions.
• 22:26
  I'm just not that way. Like you'll never see me cry
• 22:30
  ever So but I hey, yeah, let's let's relax.
• 22:37
  Not, not ready to pull off that Band-Aid yet, but I love what
• 22:42
  you're doing and you've been doing it for so long too.
• 22:46
  It's, it just seems like something the world needs
• 22:50
  because you know, superheroes, nerdy fandoms, they're so
• 22:54
  mainstream now, which is an amazing thing because we're
• 22:56
  getting so much content for it now that's mainstream that your
• 23:00
  clientele just grows and grows and there's no one in the world
• 23:04
  that doesn't have like 1 nerdy thing they cannot identify with.
• 23:08
  Well, that's my first question to people is what do you geek
• 23:10
  out about? And oftentimes if they're not
• 23:13
  into comic books or games, they kind of hesitate and like, well,
• 23:15
  I don't know, I'm not really a geek.
• 23:16
  And I'm like, everybody geeks out about something, whether
• 23:19
  it's crocheting, cooking, golfing, gardening, comic books,
• 23:23
  doesn't matter. Whatever you geek out about, we
• 23:26
  can use. There are, there's the
• 23:29
  traditional, I just turned into a pirate.
• 23:32
  There was a traditional geek world with games and comic books
• 23:36
  that we think about. But like, what do you geek out
• 23:39
  about? What's something that you enjoy?
• 23:44
  Marvel, obviously. Do you?
• 23:47
  Have a marvel like a favorite character or show or comic or.
• 23:52
  Spider Man is my favorite, with Daredevil as a close second.
• 23:55
  All right. What did you think?
• 23:58
  I'm just curious, what did you think of Daredevil and She Hulk?
• 24:03
  Together. Yeah, I love them together.
• 24:06
  I really wanted Jen, not She Hulk, but Jen to come on to
• 24:11
  Daredevil Born Again for a cameo.
• 24:12
  I wanted to see her do The Walk of Shame as well.
• 24:15
  I thought that would be fun. But I I liked them.
• 24:19
  I liked them together. I thought they were very sweet.
• 24:23
  I liked how they changed his tone to fit just She Hulk show,
• 24:26
  which is comic accurate because Daredevil has so many tones.
• 24:30
  But I like them together. I think they're very cute and
• 24:34
  it's better than all the other ones in his show because they're
• 24:37
  all just. They're bananas, but I think.
• 24:41
  She's. A lawyer and lawyer thing are
• 24:43
  really cute. Well, even down to the the walk
• 24:46
  of shame, like you mentioned, like in his costume walking out,
• 24:49
  it's, you know, it was a nice flip on on that scene, on that,
• 24:53
  on that motif. So what did?
• 24:56
  You think of them. Oh I'm same I thought they were
• 24:59
  sweet. I didn't care for the show as
• 25:02
  much, not for the reasons I think people would would think,
• 25:06
  it just I felt like tonally it went in a really weird direct.
• 25:10
  Especially the finale just went in a weird like breaking the 4th
• 25:13
  wall. It's a very acquired taste.
• 25:16
  But it just, I don't know, there's something about it that
• 25:19
  just didn't didn't resonate. But I love her and I would love
• 25:24
  to see her again. I think it I didn't realize she
• 25:27
  was from Parks and Rec. That's where I I first met her.
• 25:30
  Yeah, that's where I first met her, you know?
• 25:32
  Yeah. Everyone else, I think saw her
• 25:34
  on Orphan Black, but I met her on Parks and Rec and I was like,
• 25:39
  that's Tommy's girlfriend. Yeah, yeah.
• 25:42
  So it was, it's always great when good people pop up.
• 25:46
  So I I hope some of those shows don't get sent to the void, you
• 25:53
  know? Yeah, some of them I'm like you,
• 25:56
  you can take them. That's fine, like Thor for you
• 25:59
  can take that one. I'm totally fine with that.
• 26:02
  But she Hulk like come on, she's a such a good character, like
• 26:05
  she's so much fun. I understand the show was you
• 26:09
  either loved it you or you're like why did they make the show?
• 26:14
  But it's like it's not going to resonate with every person.
• 26:17
  Just like every it shouldn't. Just like every comic or comic
• 26:20
  character, shouldn't we all have our preferences?
• 26:23
  Absolutely, yeah, it's something I was, I was going to say
• 26:26
  earlier with with all of this, the the stories and what people
• 26:29
  you'd ask me like how people are connecting with things and we're
• 26:33
  thinking about the void and Thunderbolts is my tagline for
• 26:38
  my business. Well, actually not my tagline.
• 26:40
  My kind of sane for my business is the stories we live are the
• 26:47
  stories we tell ourselves, but they don't have to be the
• 26:49
  stories that define us. And so the things that are in
• 26:51
  our past shape who we are, but they don't have to define who we
• 26:56
  are. And so your story is unwritten
• 26:58
  from this point forward. And you're going to be a
• 27:01
  different person at the end of this podcast than you were when
• 27:03
  you started, right? And and that's true, Like with
• 27:07
  my clients, you're going to be a different person at the end of
• 27:09
  the session than when you walked in.
• 27:12
  And so what's happening in the future hasn't been written yet.
• 27:16
  We we don't know what that is. So I think that's what Bob was
• 27:22
  afraid of is letting his past define him.
• 27:25
  And so rather than embrace Century and being the hero he's
• 27:32
  afraid of, and understandably so, you know his past experience
• 27:38
  that those low lows he was talking about.
• 27:42
  Yeah, he even in the comics, he had such a such a rough life.
• 27:50
  You know, parents were abusive, he was a meth addict, all that
• 27:54
  stuff. And I think the movie did a I'm
• 27:56
  so glad they didn't shy away from that because it made it
• 27:59
  feel so real while having him being lovable.
• 28:04
  And like, when I saw him, I wanted to adopt him.
• 28:06
  I wanted him to be mine. And they did such an amazing job
• 28:10
  with him. And even when he's beating
• 28:12
  himself up, right, yeah, he's beating himself up.
• 28:15
  And they surround him and grab him and pull him off and you see
• 28:20
  like that darkness against spoiler alerts.
• 28:23
  I apologize if. You're fine.
• 28:24
  It's. Been out for a week, what's
• 28:25
  wrong with you people? I've already posted my review if
• 28:28
  it's cool. But that darkness is like
• 28:31
  overtaking him, right? And again, they his community
• 28:34
  comes and notice they're not saying are you OK?
• 28:37
  What you know, they're they step in to help when he couldn't help
• 28:40
  himself. And then, like a lot of trauma,
• 28:43
  once it was over, he forgot. That was very interesting.
• 28:49
  Is that usual? Like with trauma, people just
• 28:52
  forget about it and it comes up later?
• 28:54
  Are they just pushing it down? It can, it depends on the
• 28:57
  person, the level of trauma. I do a lot of work with
• 29:01
  dissociative disorders. So people who like dissociative
• 29:05
  identity disorder, like moonlight, who, you know, they
• 29:10
  have a lot severe trauma and a lot of times what will happen
• 29:13
  with that, in particular with DID dissociative identity
• 29:15
  disorder is our a part might step forward to protect in this
• 29:20
  case, like a kid who might be going through serious trauma so
• 29:24
  that the the main part might take a step back and the
• 29:28
  protector part steps forward so that the main part doesn't have
• 29:32
  to remember or take on that trauma.
• 29:33
  The protector part does. So we all dissociate and we all
• 29:40
  have different parts, but a lot of times in those, the parts
• 29:45
  fracture to a point of one might kind of step forward at times
• 29:49
  rather than be more integrated. It's more complicated than that,
• 29:52
  but that. Might no longer show.
• 29:55
  You explained it very well. So Speaking of moon night, what
• 29:58
  did you think of how Marvel interpreted Mark Spector and
• 30:03
  Stephen Grant and their You said it was disassociated identity
• 30:07
  disorder. Yeah, dissociative identity.
• 30:10
  Disorder. It used to be called split
• 30:12
  personality disorder and I, I enjoyed it.
• 30:16
  I thought they did a really good job.
• 30:17
  There's, I don't know, like a, a, like a 5050 split, but there
• 30:23
  is a division in how DID is presented in media.
• 30:27
  And a lot of times it's presented in a way that
• 30:29
  showcases people as dangerous. And what I loved about what Moon
• 30:33
  Knight did is they did a good job of showcasing the blackout.
• 30:37
  So he would black out and then he wakes up.
• 30:40
  We don't, we don't really see what happens in the middle.
• 30:42
  But all of a sudden he's surrounded by like death, right?
• 30:47
  Most people, I would say probably 99%.
• 30:51
  I probably shouldn't put a percentage out there, so don't
• 30:53
  quote me on that, but a large percentage of people do not
• 30:57
  experience violence in that most people with a mental illness or
• 31:03
  mental condition are not violent people.
• 31:06
  Like schizophrenia is often presented that way too.
• 31:11
  So he was just as scared and confused.
• 31:13
  But it makes sense from a narrative perspective that he's
• 31:17
  fighting these bad guys. He's not hurting good guys.
• 31:20
  So we also have to kind of look through the lens of what's being
• 31:23
  told. So I really enjoyed how they
• 31:26
  presented the blackout and the confusion and the, the fear of
• 31:29
  that because that happens. And I, I have permission to talk
• 31:32
  about this, but my partner lives with DID and it took us a long
• 31:37
  time to realize what, what was going on.
• 31:41
  And there would be times they, I'd come home and they'd be
• 31:44
  like, I lost 4 hours today. And it could just be that they,
• 31:47
  something triggered them and a different part step forward and
• 31:50
  they just don't recall what happened during the day.
• 31:56
  So that can get confusing and, and frustrating at times.
• 32:00
  But it also has helped me kind of be a better communicator and,
• 32:03
  and learning how to ask like, who am I talking to right now?
• 32:06
  Who's the like, who stepped forward?
• 32:08
  Because sometimes you can tell, sometimes you can't.
• 32:11
  So is there, I don't mean to pry, but this is just so
• 32:14
  interesting to me. So is there just like one
• 32:18
  personality that usually takes over or is it multiple based on
• 32:23
  what triggered them or how they're feeling?
• 32:26
  It depends on the person. Like for my partner, I know
• 32:29
  there's 11 parts that we've encountered that I've
• 32:34
  encountered. I talked to at least three or
• 32:37
  four of them regularly, but I, I, there's some really good
• 32:41
  documentaries out there. I can't think of any of the
• 32:43
  names right now, but I can send them to you if you want.
• 32:45
  Yes, please. Like one person.
• 32:49
  I had like 70 different, you know, so they, it, it, it, it
• 32:53
  depends. It could also depend on the
• 32:54
  level of trauma as well. I hope for whatever trauma your
• 32:58
  partner's gone through, I hope they're OK.
• 33:01
  Oh, they're good. They're, they're definitely,
• 33:02
  it's, it's been a slow process, but once we, the way I figured
• 33:06
  it, the way we found out is I was in class to learn how to be
• 33:11
  a counselor. We had a speaker who lives with
• 33:13
  the ID and they started just talking about things and in my
• 33:15
  head like, well, that sounds like them.
• 33:17
  That's so I went home and said, Hey, maybe you should talk to
• 33:19
  your counselor about this. And they did.
• 33:23
  And it all this kind of came out.
• 33:26
  It's like, oh, that makes complete sense.
• 33:28
  They're also autistic and there is A and then in the neuro spicy
• 33:33
  community, there's fandoms Geek geek culture is huge and in that
• 33:41
  world as well. So because a lot of times it
• 33:44
  helps people make sense of the world to connect with something
• 33:48
  like a video game or music or. Plus the hyper fixating.
• 33:53
  And like with comics, there's so many things to read to learn to
• 33:57
  learn about one universe. I get it.
• 34:00
  My oldest daughter, she's 5, is autistic and we're just not
• 34:04
  getting into the she She just learned the other day how many
• 34:08
  different iterations are spider man?
• 34:10
  So it's been a long couple days to say the least.
• 34:15
  But she's very, very excited, so I get it.
• 34:19
  Yeah, Spider Man is a great example because there are so
• 34:21
  many different iterations. And with the Spider verse as
• 34:24
  well, you know, so many people have and kids have identified
• 34:29
  comfort with different, you know, maybe with Noir or Gwen,
• 34:34
  you know, different. Yeah, my daughter identifies
• 34:37
  with. She calls her ghosty.
• 34:39
  She's ghost spider ghosty so. I love it.
• 34:43
  Yeah, well, this has been so much fun.
• 34:46
  Thank you so much for coming on. I feel like I learned so much
• 34:49
  but I feel like I had my own therapy session all.
• 34:52
  Right, well thank you for having me.
• 34:53
  I love talking about this stuff and if anybody wants to to reach
• 34:56
  out and ask questions please do. Speaking of that, where can our
• 35:01
  listeners find you and reach out to you?
• 35:03
  Sir, my my handle on Instagram technically on X, although I
• 35:09
  don't really put I don't go on XI keep it on there for business
• 35:12
  purposes because I can't cut the cord yet just because I don't
• 35:14
  know same. It's you just post just for like
• 35:18
  new episodes or something, but you're I'm not engaging with
• 35:21
  those people. But a a story ologist is my
• 35:26
  handle. So it's like psychologist but
• 35:28
  story ologist. A story ologist and my website
• 35:31
  is www.storyology.care. OK, great.
• 35:35
  And whoever is listening to this episode, if you look in the show
• 35:38
  notes right under the episode, you will find all the places you
• 35:41
  can find Adam. So thank you for listening to
• 35:44
  this episode of Vigilante Vibes. Wherever you're listening to
• 35:46
  this episode, click that subscribe button so you don't
• 35:48
  miss any of my amazing guests like Adam or any future episode.
• 35:52
  Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed it.
• 35:53
  Have a marvelous night.