Latest / Reformed Thinking / Sins of the Heart: Hatred
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Reformed thinking. We're diving deep again, looking
- 0:03at biblical sources to help shape well informed Christian
- 0:08living. And today we're picking up on a
- 0:10request many of you made. We're focusing on Christian
- 0:13efforts, specifically the sin of hatred and how it connects to
- 0:17the 6th Commandment. You shall not murder.
- 0:20Yeah, that's the plan. We want to breakdown what
- 0:22Scripture really means by murder, look at where it starts
- 0:25deep down in the heart, and then talk about the gospel cure.
- 0:28And what really jumps out from the sources, I think, is how
- 0:31sneaky hatred can be. Exactly.
- 0:33It's not usually obvious, like clenched fists or shouting.
- 0:36If it were, we'd spot it. Instead, it kind of hides.
- 0:39It operates more subtly, maybe as cool contempt or just saying
- 0:44nothing when you should speak up.
- 0:45Or that carefully worded sarcastic comment, you know,
- 0:47Yeah. Or even just that secret wish
- 0:49inside that someone you're upset with just fails.
- 0:53It's a surprisingly common problem, spiritually speaking,
- 0:56because it grows best where we least expect it, inside our own
- 0:59thoughts and feelings. So to really get a handle on how
- 1:02serious this is, we have to start where Scripture does right
- 1:06with what the law tells us. Yes, the law's diagnosis.
- 1:09OK, so let's talk about the law's job, particularly the
- 1:11moral law and the 6th Commandment.
- 1:13Within that, our reform standards teach that the law
- 1:15shows us our sin, right? It convicts the conscience by
- 1:19revealing how pervasive sin really is.
- 1:22It's not just outward stuff. That's correct.
- 1:24And when we get to the 6th commandment, you shall not
- 1:26murder. The mistake people often make is
- 1:29thinking it only applies to, well, actually killing someone.
- 1:33But Jesus tackles his head on. He does in Matthew 5 verses 21
- 1:37and 22. He just blows that limited view
- 1:39wide open. He shows the command reaches way
- 1:42deeper, right into the soul. He says the root, the seed of
- 1:44murder, is actually found inside us in the heart.
- 1:48Yes, specifically as angry contempt.
- 1:51That hidden attitude is where it begins.
- 1:52So Jesus is sitting a much higher standard here.
- 1:54It's about what's going on inside, not just what you do or
- 1:57don't do physically. How does he illustrate that?
- 2:00In Matthew 5? He mentions specific kinds of
- 2:02speech, doesn't he? He does.
- 2:04He contrasts the old way of thinking, you know, murder lands
- 2:08you in court, with this clarified standard.
- 2:11He says that even being angry with your brother without cause
- 2:14perhaps makes you liable to judgment.
- 2:16And then he escalates it. Right, the level of danger goes
- 2:19up depending on the contempt shown.
- 2:21So first just anger, then he mentions calling someone Raqqa.
- 2:24What's that about? Raqqa.
- 2:26It's a nasty Aramaic insult. It means something like empty
- 2:29head or worthless person. It's just pure scorn, dismissing
- 2:33someone's value entirely. Like saying they're nothing.
- 2:35Pretty much. And Jesus, that using that kind
- 2:38of contemptuous language puts you in danger of the Council,
- 2:41the Sanhedrin. And the final step?
- 2:43He mentions calling someone you fool or murr in Greek.
- 2:47He says that puts you in danger of the hell of fire.
- 2:50But why is that even more serious?
- 2:52Well, that term murrah seems to carry more than just
- 2:54intellectual insult. It's often seen as a deeper
- 2:57moral or even spiritual condemnation, like calling
- 3:00someone apostate or utterly wicked beyond hope.
- 3:03So Jesus is showing this progression.
- 3:06Escalating contemptuous anger coming out in words proves that
- 3:10a murderous disposition is already there in the soul.
- 3:14The words and the potential actions spring from the same
- 3:17poison source. So the law convicts by showing
- 3:20the gods looking at the attitude, the heart, not just
- 3:23the physical act. And the apostles pick up on this
- 3:25too, right? They confirm this idea of heart
- 3:27level murder. Very.
- 3:28Clearly. Oh absolutely.
- 3:29Jared is incredibly direct about it in First John 3.15.
- 3:33He just lays it out. Everyone who hates his brother
- 3:36is a murderer. No wiggle room there.
- 3:38None. You can't hide your malice from
- 3:40God. If that settled attitude of
- 3:42hatred is inside you, the law identifies you as a murderer,
- 3:46even if you never physically harmed anyone.
- 3:48OK, that helps define what this forbidden attitude actually is.
- 3:53The Westminster Larger Catechism gives a helpful summary here,
- 3:56doesn't it under the 6th Commandment?
- 3:57Yes, WOC 136 is very clear. It forbids things like sinful
- 4:01anger, hatred, and desire of revenge.
- 4:04And hatred, as we're talking about it here, isn't just, you
- 4:06know, being annoyed for a moment.
- 4:07It's deeper than that. It's a chosen stance, a settled
- 4:11posture of ill will towards another person, someone made in
- 4:14God's image. And this ill will it might
- 4:18actively seek their harm, or maybe it takes pleasure if they
- 4:21stumble or are diminished somehow.
- 4:23Or, and this is the part I find really challenging, it just
- 4:26withholds their. Good.
- 4:28That's a crucial part of the definition.
- 4:29Withholding their good. It means hatred doesn't always
- 4:33look like obvious aggression. It can be very passive, almost
- 4:36cold. Like a calculated indifference.
- 4:39Exactly. Think about work.
- 4:41Maybe someone you don't like gets ahead.
- 4:43Hatred might not be shouting about it, but it could be
- 4:45deciding, consciously or not, not to give them information
- 4:48they need to succeed, or feeling a little bit pleased when they
- 4:51make a mistake later on. Or in family life, maybe
- 4:54refusing to pray for someone or just not offering a simple word
- 4:57of encouragement when it's obviously deserved.
- 4:59Yes, that pulling back, that refusal to do the positive thing
- 5:03you should do for them as a fellow image bearer, that
- 5:05functions as malice. It's hatred in action, or
- 5:08rather, in action. And this hits at why it's so
- 5:11serious. It's not just bad manners or
- 5:13being unkind. It's theological.
- 5:15It attacks who? That person.
- 5:18Precisely. It's a theological offense
- 5:20because every neighbor bears the Imago day, the image of God.
- 5:24They have this dignity given by God Himself.
- 5:26So when you attack them, even with contempt or by withholding
- 5:30good. You're effectively striking at
- 5:32God's reflection in them. You're dishonouring the Maker.
- 5:35James 3.9 talks about this. How can we bless God with our
- 5:38mouths and then turn around and curse people made in his
- 5:40likeness? It's a contradiction.
- 5:42When we hate someone, we're basically refusing to
- 5:45acknowledge God's signature on them.
- 5:47Yes, it's a denial of their God-given status.
- 5:49That's why the sources consistently talk about it as
- 5:51heart level murder, an attack on God's own image.
- 5:54Any kind of contempt works to dehumanize, and dehumanizing is
- 5:57always an assault on the one who gives humanity its value.
- 6:00OK, so the law shows us the problem, this hostility deep
- 6:04inside. But if the heart is where it
- 6:06starts, as the outline says, what's really driving it?
- 6:09What's going on in there? Well, Scripture talks about the
- 6:11heart lub in Hebrew, cardia and Greek, not just as the place for
- 6:14feelings like we often think of it today.
- 6:16It's more like the the Control Center.
- 6:19The source of everything. Yeah, our thinking, our
- 6:21desiring, our willing. It all comes from the heart.
- 6:24Proverbs 4.23 says the springs of life flow from it.
- 6:27So our intellect, our will, our emotions, they're all
- 6:30intertwined there. That's the inner self the law is
- 6:33diagnosing, and that's where hatred is born.
- 6:36So hatred isn't just a momentary slip, it comes from something
- 6:39deeper, from that fallen nature, the flesh being hostile to God
- 6:43and his law. That's the general source, Total
- 6:45Depravity, but the sources we looked at point some specific
- 6:48sins that really act like fertilizer for malice.
- 6:53They till the soil, so to speak. What are those key routes?
- 6:563 Stand out. First, there's pride.
- 6:58Pride just cannot stand being slighted or contradicted or
- 7:02feeling less important than someone.
- 7:03Else so any challenge feels like an attack.
- 7:05To the proud heart, yes. Any challenge to its status, its
- 7:08reputation, its self-image feels like a major threat.
- 7:12So hatred becomes this defensive reaction, trying to diminish the
- 7:15person who made the proud heart feel small or threatened.
- 7:19Pride turns every little offense into a big personal battle.
- 7:23OK, prides the first route. The second one mentioned is
- 7:26envy, the Greek word phonos. How does envy lead to hatred?
- 7:31Envy is interesting. It's related to coveting, but
- 7:34slightly different. Coveting wants what someone else
- 7:37has. Envy.
- 7:38This Thanos resents the fact that the other person have the
- 7:41good thing in the first place. Like their success, or their
- 7:44good reputation, or even their spiritual maturity.
- 7:46Exactly. The other person's goodness,
- 7:49their righteousness, somehow feels like a personal criticism
- 7:52to the envious heart. It shines a spotlight on their
- 7:54own lack. And Cain is the classic example
- 7:57here, isn't? He the perfect example.
- 7:58Cain didn't kill Abel because Abel took something from him.
- 8:01He killed him because Abel's offering was accepted, his deeds
- 8:04were righteous, and Cain's weren't.
- 8:06Abel's goodness made Cain look bad.
- 8:08Right. Abel's goodness was like a
- 8:10mirror showing Cain his own failure.
- 8:13And instead of dealing with his own failure, Cain hated the
- 8:16mirror. He wanted to destroy the
- 8:18standard that exposed him. So envy fuels hatred by wanting
- 8:23the other person's good to be gone, to be destroyed.
- 8:25That's a powerful connection, tearing others down because
- 8:28their goodness, it makes us feel bad instead of aiming for that
- 8:31goodness ourselves. OK, pride, envy, and the third
- 8:34root. Unforgiveness.
- 8:36This is what really cements the Malice let's it harden.
- 8:39It's the refusal to let go of a real offense or debt someone
- 8:43earns you. The sources used a striking
- 8:45image for this. Yes, the unforgiving person is
- 8:48like a prison keeper who sleeps inside his own cell.
- 8:50It's powerful, isn't? It it really is.
- 8:52You think you're keeping the other person locked up in your
- 8:54bitterness, but you're actually imprisoned by it yourself.
- 8:56Exactly. Replaying the offense over and
- 8:59over in your holding onto that debt that becomes the fuel that
- 9:02keeps the hatred alive. And that constant replaying,
- 9:05that rumination, seems especially relevant today,
- 9:08doesn't it, Particularly in the digital world.
- 9:10The sources talked about technology and theology coming
- 9:13together here. Let's get into digital hatred.
- 9:16Yes, digital contempt might be the most visible, widespread
- 9:20form of malice we see now, and it's actively encouraged by what
- 9:23the sources call an outrage economy.
- 9:26An outrage economy? What does that mean?
- 9:27It means the platforms, the algorithms, they're often
- 9:30designed to maximize engagement, and what gets clicks and
- 9:34comments and shares most reliably.
- 9:36Strong negative emotions. Anger, scorn, outrage.
- 9:40So the system actually benefits when we get angry and lash out
- 9:43online. In many, many cases, yes, it
- 9:45rewards negativity because negativity drives interaction,
- 9:48which drives ad revenue or whatever the platform's goal is.
- 9:51This environment taps right into our existing capacity for anger
- 9:54and very quickly sorts us into these opposing camps, this
- 9:57partisan tribalism. And when people become just
- 10:00labels, leftist right winger libtard maggot, it's easier to
- 10:03hate them. Much easier.
- 10:05They stop being complex individuals, neighbors with real
- 10:09lives, and they become these simplified avatars to be
- 10:11dismissed. It's far less costly emotionally
- 10:15to hate an avatar than a person you know.
- 10:17Which fuels that performative scorn we see everywhere online.
- 10:21People putting on a show of contempt.
- 10:23Right. It's not always even genuine
- 10:25anger about an issue. Sometimes it's about performing
- 10:28superiority, intellectual superiority, moral superiority,
- 10:32for your own side, for your tribe.
- 10:34You signal your loyalty by showing how much you despise the
- 10:36other side. And that performance itself
- 10:39shows the malice is often about boosting yourself, not actually
- 10:42seeking truth or justice. Precisely.
- 10:44It confirms that self righteousness is often driving
- 10:46it. OK.
- 10:47So that's the digital context. But how does this malice hide in
- 10:50just everyday life? Let's talk about the purely
- 10:53internal side first. Rumination.
- 10:55Rumination is the hostile inner habit where you just keep
- 10:58replaying hurts or offenses, like a liturgy, as one source
- 11:01put it. It's like a ritual of
- 11:02resentment. Exactly.
- 11:04You rehearse the slight. You mentally draft your perfect
- 11:08comeback. You appoint yourself prosecutor,
- 11:10judge and jury over the person who wronged you, all inside your
- 11:14head. That sounds exhausting, frankly,
- 11:16but also really damaging because it leads to keeping score,
- 11:19doesn't it? It leads directly to what the
- 11:21sources call a vindictive Ledger.
- 11:23You're meticulously keeping track of every wrong done to
- 11:26you. Which is the exact opposite of
- 11:27love as described in First Corinthians 13, the.
- 11:30Polar opposite love keeps no record of wrongs.
- 11:33Constantly reviewing that internal Ledger just hardens
- 11:36your heart and makes any kind of reconciliation feel impossible.
- 11:39It keeps the wound fresh. So besides the internal stuff,
- 11:43hatred can also show up in what we don't do right, Sins of
- 11:47omission. Yes, the law gives us a very
- 11:49practical definition here. Hatred can be defined as
- 11:52withheld mercy. First, John 3.17 puts it
- 11:55starkly. If you have resources and see
- 11:58your brother in need, but you close your heart or literally
- 12:00shut your bowels of compassion against him, how can God's love
- 12:03be in you? So seeing a real need and
- 12:06deliberately choosing not to help because you dislike a
- 12:08person, that is hatred in God's eyes.
- 12:10Functionally, yes, it's failing to perform the positive duty of
- 12:14care you owe another image bearer simply because of your
- 12:17personal feelings towards them. Then there's this other strange
- 12:19case, sentimental silence. This feels backwards.
- 12:23How can not confronting someone be a form of hatred?
- 12:27It comes from Leviticus 19.17. It says you shall surely rebuke
- 12:32your neighbor and not bear sin because of him.
- 12:34Scripture actually commands loving, restorative
- 12:37confrontation when it's needed. So avoiding that confrontation
- 12:41isn't always peaceful. No, this sentimental silence
- 12:44avoids the hard work of trying to restore someone if you see
- 12:48your brother or sister heading towards harm because of their
- 12:51sin, and you stay silent just because you don't want an
- 12:53awkward conversation or you secretly don't care if they
- 12:55crash and burn. The law says that silence is
- 12:58actually a mask for hatred. You're kind of OK with their
- 13:01failure. It exposes it as such.
- 13:03You're choosing your comfort, or perhaps your secret satisfaction
- 13:06at their impending failure over their well-being.
- 13:09You risk becoming complicit in their sin by not speaking up out
- 13:12of genuine love. That really reframed silence.
- 13:16It's often seen as taking the High Road, but it can be passive
- 13:18aggression. It absolutely can.
- 13:21True peace sometimes requires difficult conversations aimed at
- 13:24restoration. Silence out of genuine love
- 13:27might be temporary, waiting for the right moment.
- 13:30Silence out of hatred is just indifference or worse.
- 13:33OK, And the last subtle form disguised speech.
- 13:36Yeah, malice hiding in plain sight, even in polite company.
- 13:40Right, this is where Malice does its dirty work.
- 13:43Using things like sarcasm, cutting humor, maybe backhanded
- 13:46compliments. The speaker gets to land a blow
- 13:49while keeping up a appearance of being civil or even funny.
- 13:53The kind of joke that puts someone down, questions their
- 13:55competence, spreads doubt. Exactly, and if someone calls
- 13:58them on it, they can just retreat.
- 13:59Oh, I was only joking. Can't you take a joke?
- 14:01So it avoids open conflict, but still achieves the goal of
- 14:04diminishing the other person sowing discord.
- 14:06Yes, it still tears down rather than builds up.
- 14:09We always have to look at the function of the speech, not just
- 14:12the form. Is it intended to edify or to
- 14:15wound? OK, we've mapped out sinful
- 14:17hatred pretty thoroughly. Now we need to draw a clear
- 14:20line. Scripture does talk about a
- 14:22different kind of hatred, doesn't it?
- 14:24Righteous hatred. Yes, and this distinction is
- 14:26vital. If we don't make it, we end up
- 14:29condemning God Himself, who hates wickedness.
- 14:33Righteous hatred is allowed, even necessary, but it's very
- 14:36specific. And how is it different?
- 14:38It's principled and God referenced.
- 14:40Its target isn't the person the image bearer.
- 14:43Its target is wickedness itself, evil sin like.
- 14:47Proverbs 8.13 the fear of the Lord is hatred of evil, or
- 14:52Romans 12.9 abhor what is evil. The focus is the sin, not the
- 14:56Sinner. That's the crucial difference.
- 14:58And righteous hatred is always love saturated.
- 15:00It mourns the damage sin does, both to the person's descending
- 15:03and to God's honor. Its goal is always restoration,
- 15:06exposing evil to bring about healing.
- 15:08Whereas sinful hatred is personal, aimed at the
- 15:10individual, driven by revenge or self-interest.
- 15:12Exactly. Sinful hatred is settled and
- 15:14person targeted. Righteous hatred attacks the
- 15:17evil while still desiring the good of the person caught in it.
- 15:20This helps us understand righteous anger too, which often
- 15:23comes up here. The sources say that anger has
- 15:26to be really tightly controlled. Extremely.
- 15:29Any righteous anger, or maybe better, controlled zeal has to
- 15:32be narrow. It has to be slow to ignite,
- 15:35kept under control and temporary.
- 15:37Ephesians 4.26 warns us, be angry and do not sin.
- 15:41Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
- 15:43So don't let temporary displeasure turn into deep
- 15:46seated malice overnight. Right.
- 15:48And always remember James 1.2. Our human anger simply does not
- 15:52produce the righteousness God requires.
- 15:54We have to be incredibly wary of it.
- 15:56OK, before we get to the cure, there are a couple of tricky
- 15:59Bible passages we need to clarify.
- 16:01The ones that use the love hate. Yes, understanding this is key
- 16:05to reading certain texts correctly.
- 16:07It's a figure of speech common in Semitic languages like Hebrew
- 16:10and Aramaic. Hate in these contexts often
- 16:13means preference or loving less, not active hostility or malice.
- 16:17It's about comparison, about priority.
- 16:19Exactly. It's stating A comparative
- 16:21allegiance. The classic example, maybe the
- 16:23hardest one, is Luke 14.26 where Jesus says you have to hate your
- 16:27father, mother, spouse, children to be his disciple.
- 16:31That sounds shocking. It's meant to be shocking, It's
- 16:34hyperbole designed to make people stop and think hard about
- 16:37their ultimate loyalty. But it doesn't mean feel actual
- 16:40animosity towards your family. How do we know that?
- 16:43Because Matthews Gospel gives us the parallel passage Matthew
- 16:4610.37 which clarifies it perfectly.
- 16:48Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of
- 16:53me. See, it's about supreme
- 16:54allegiance to Christ. He must come first.
- 16:57Which means all other loves become secondary relative to our
- 17:01love for Him. It doesn't mean we stop loving
- 17:03them or start hating them. OK, that makes sense.
- 17:05It's about priority, not emotion.
- 17:07And this helps with Old Testament passages too.
- 17:09It does. Think about Leah in Genesis 29.
- 17:11The text says Jacob hated her, but the context clearly shows he
- 17:15simply loved Rachel more. It was a matter of preference.
- 17:17So we apply that that same lens to Romans 9.3 where Paul quotes
- 17:22Malachi. Jacob I love, but Esau I hate
- 17:25it. Right.
- 17:26This isn't primarily about God having some sort of emotional
- 17:29dislike for Esau the individual. It's mainly about God's
- 17:33sovereign covenantal choice regarding nations in the plan of
- 17:36salvation. It's about his electing purpose,
- 17:39choosing Jacob's line, Israel for the covenant promises, and
- 17:43judicially setting aside Esau's line in that specific historical
- 17:47context. It's a statement about a divine
- 17:49election, not a model for human emotional hatred.
- 17:52Got it. So we've got the diagnosis,
- 17:54heart level murder, rooted in things like pride and envy.
- 17:58The law shows us the problem, but it can't fix it.
- 18:00That brings us to part 4, the gospel cure.
- 18:03Where does the change come from? The law diagnosis, the
- 18:05hostility. The Greek word is ekthra, but it
- 18:07offers no power to overcome it. The cure is only found at the
- 18:10cross of Christ. Ephesians 2 talks about this.
- 18:13Yes, Ephesians 2.1416 says Christ killed the hostility in
- 18:17his flesh. He did it by perfectly obeying
- 18:19the law and then taking the penalty for our disobedience,
- 18:21our hostility upon himself. Through his shed blood, He made
- 18:25peace. Peace first between US and God.
- 18:27Right. He reconciles enemies us to God.
- 18:31That vertical peace is foundational, and then that
- 18:34reconciliation with God becomes the basis and the pattern for
- 18:38horizontal reconciliation between people.
- 18:40We can love our enemies because God loved and reconciled us when
- 18:43we were His enemies. That's the heart of it, and the
- 18:46power for this new way of living, this new obedience,
- 18:49comes through union with Christ. That's the engine of
- 18:52sanctification. What does that mean practically?
- 18:54It means believers understand themselves by faith as having
- 18:58died with Christ to their old self, the self that was ruled by
- 19:01malice and pride, and having been raised with Christ to a new
- 19:04life. We reckon that old self dead and
- 19:06the new self alive to God. This Union gives us a new
- 19:09capacity. But we need energy for that,
- 19:11right? It doesn't just happen
- 19:12automatically. Definitely not.
- 19:14We need supernatural power that comes from the indwelling Holy
- 19:16Spirit. Romans 5.5 says the Spirit pours
- 19:19God's love into our hearts. That love provides the energy
- 19:22for peacemaking, the motivation and strength we lack on our own.
- 19:26So sanctification is this process where the Spirit helps
- 19:29us gradually dethrone hatred and enthrone love in our hearts.
- 19:33That's a good way to put it. And the Spirit produces visible
- 19:36evidence of this change, what Galatians calls the first fruits
- 19:38of the Spirit, things like love and peace, which are the direct
- 19:42opposites of the works of the flesh, like hatred and strife.
- 19:44This means our practical growth involves actively putting off
- 19:48the old ways and putting on the new.
- 19:50What specifically do we need to put off?
- 19:52Colossians 3 tells us to put off bitterness.
- 19:55That's picria in Greek, a kind of settled, sour resentment that
- 19:58poisons everything, along with wrath, anger, slander and
- 20:02malice. These are the habits of the old
- 20:04self that need to be shed. And what do we put on instead?
- 20:07What are the contrary graces? The command is to put on
- 20:10compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and then
- 20:14Colossians 3.14 adds above all love, saying love binds all
- 20:18these virtues together in perfect harmony.
- 20:21These active qualities of reconciliation fill the space
- 20:23left when hatred is removed. OK, this leads us right into the
- 20:26final section, Cruciform obedience.
- 20:29The Gospel cure isn't just theoretical, it has to show up
- 20:32in how we actually live and interact, starting with what the
- 20:35source is called the liturgical priority of peace.
- 20:39This is that really radical teaching from Jesus in Matthew 5
- 20:42verses 23 and 24, The altar interruption.
- 20:46Tell us about that. Jesus says If you're coming to
- 20:48offer your gift at the altar, the height of religious
- 20:51observance, and you suddenly remember that your brother has
- 20:53something against you, what do you do?
- 20:55You stop everything. You stop, you leave your gift
- 20:58right there, and Jesus says go first, be reconciled to your
- 21:01brother, and then come and offer your gift.
- 21:03That's incredible. Reconciliation with others takes
- 21:06priority, even over formal worship.
- 21:08It shows that worship offered while neglecting peacemaking is
- 21:12basically hypocrisy in God's eyes.
- 21:15The horizontal relationship impacts of the vertical one.
- 21:18And this applies to our worship today too, like the Lord's
- 21:21Supper. Absolutely.
- 21:22The Lord's Table should be seen as a reconciling feast, coming
- 21:26to partake in the bread and cup, the symbols of Christ,
- 21:29peacemaking, sacrifice while you're nursing settled hatred or
- 21:33unforgiveness toward another believer.
- 21:35That's deeply contradictory. It profanes the sacrament.
- 21:38The table forces us to examine our relationships and seek
- 21:41peace. OK, in another practical aspect,
- 21:44refusing private vengeance and holding grudges, we need to be
- 21:47clear about justice here. Yes, the law is very clear.
- 21:50You are not allowed to take vengeance into your own hands.
- 21:52It's forbidden as a private project.
- 21:54We can't be our own judge and jury and executioner.
- 21:57So what are we supposed to do when wronged?
- 21:59Romans 12.21 gives the strategy Do not be overcome by evil, but
- 22:03overcome evil with good. We're called to refuse personal
- 22:06retaliation to yield our right to get even.
- 22:10So who is responsible for justice and punishment then?
- 22:12Two authorities, ultimately God, who says in Romans 12 vengeance
- 22:16is mine, I will repay. And second, God has delegated
- 22:19authority for earthly justice to the civil magistrate, the
- 22:22government. Romans 13 calls the governing
- 22:24authority God's servant to execute wrath on the wrongdoer.
- 22:28It's a public ordered system for justice, not personal payback.
- 22:33And along with vengeance, the law also forbids nursing
- 22:36grudges. Right, that word luciteur.
- 22:38Yes, that Hebrew term refers to holding a grudge, bearing
- 22:42resentment. It connects back to refusing to
- 22:44keep that vindictive Ledger we talked about.
- 22:46A grudge is just hatred simmering over time, a
- 22:50deliberate refusal to forgive as Christ has forgiven us.
- 22:53So to fight against this, we need to change not just our
- 22:56actions, but our words, adopting the vocabulary of grace.
- 23:00That's key. Ephesians 4.29 gives us the rule
- 23:03of edification. Our speech should aim to build
- 23:06others up, not tear them down. Which means refusing those
- 23:10contentious labels Jesus condemned.
- 23:12Exactly. No calling people Raqqa or you
- 23:14fool or their modern equivalents.
- 23:17Those words normalize dehumanizing the other person,
- 23:20making hatred easier. And it also means choosing our
- 23:23tone, like using a soft answer. Proverbs 15.1 says a soft answer
- 23:27turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
- 23:30That soft answer is described as an act of warfare against
- 23:33contempt. In our easily outraged culture,
- 23:35choosing gentleness is a powerful counter move.
- 23:38Especially online. Which brings us to that
- 23:40practical filter mentioned, the triple screen.
- 23:43Yes, a very helpful tool before speaking or typing, especially
- 23:47when feeling reactive. Walk us through it.
- 23:49What are the three checks? OK before you say it or post it
- 23:52one is it true? Have I checked the facts?
- 23:55Am I spreading gossip or misinformation?
- 23:572 Is it necessary? Does this really need to be
- 24:00said? Will it actually help the
- 24:02situation, promote justice, or build someone up?
- 24:04Or am I just venting, trying to look smart or scoring points for
- 24:07my side? Their second one is tough.
- 24:10A lot of online comments wouldn't pass that test.
- 24:12Probably not. And the third check 3.
- 24:14Is it gracious, even if what I'm saying is true and maybe even
- 24:18necessary? Is my tone kind?
- 24:20Does it reflect the compassion of Christ, even towards someone
- 24:23I disagree with or who has wronged me?
- 24:25Or am I delivering truth like a weapon?
- 24:27Wow. If everyone used that filter,
- 24:32imagine how different online discourse and maybe even church
- 24:34life would be. It would be radically different.
- 24:36It forces self examination before we speak.
- 24:39OK, finally, let's talk about the most active, concrete
- 24:41practices to actually kill malice, what scripture calls
- 24:44enemy love. This is more than just not
- 24:46hating, it's proactive. Yes, it starts with particular
- 24:49confession. This isn't just vague guilt, it
- 24:52means naming the specific sin. I have harbored hatred towards
- 24:56person's name. My attitude was contempt,
- 24:59bitterness, envy. It resulted in specific thought
- 25:01word action. And crucially, connecting that
- 25:03confession to God's mercy to us. Absolutely.
- 25:06You confess your sin while remembering the immense grace
- 25:09you yourself have received from God, how He forgave your
- 25:12hostility toward Him. That perspective feels genuine
- 25:15repentance and the willingness to forgive.
- 25:17Forgiving people forgive. Then the second practice, which
- 25:21sounds incredibly difficult. Praying Blessing.
- 25:23This one directly attacks the root of malice.
- 25:26The sources suggest setting up a specific intercession rhythm,
- 25:29maybe praying every day for a month specifically for the
- 25:31well-being of the person you resent.
- 25:33Praying for them, not just about the situation, but for their
- 25:36good. Yes, asking God to bless them
- 25:39spiritually, give them repentance, faith, wisdom,
- 25:43growth, and grace. And asking for their temporal
- 25:46good too. Health provision, success in
- 25:48godly endeavors. It is incredibly hard, nearly
- 25:52impossible, to keep actively hating someone you are sincerely
- 25:55and consistently bringing before God's throne, asking for His
- 25:58best for them. Prayer changes the prayer.
- 26:01It actively starves the malice, and this internal work should
- 26:05lead to external action, tangible kindness.
- 26:07Right. Prayer needs to flow into deeds.
- 26:09This is how we overcome evil with good.
- 26:11It might be something small at first.
- 26:13Making a point to greet the person you usually avoid
- 26:16offering a genuine compliment. Quietly meeting a practical need
- 26:19they have as First John 3 suggests.
- 26:20Doing good for them without expecting anything back.
- 26:23Exactly That kind of unexpected, unearned kindness is a direct
- 26:26assault on the hatred in your own heart.
- 26:28It performs the opposite virtue. One last clarification point.
- 26:32The difference between setting prudent boundaries and malice.
- 26:36Sometimes boundaries are necessary, right?
- 26:37Absolutely critical, especially in situations involving abuse,
- 26:41danger, or ongoing destructive behavior.
- 26:43Proverbs 22.3 says the prudent see danger and take refuge.
- 26:48Setting firm boundaries for protection or seeking help from
- 26:51authorities like the church or the law is not hatred, It's
- 26:55wisdom and stewardship. So when does a necessary
- 26:58boundary become sinful? When does it cross into hatred?
- 27:02It crosses the line when the motivation behind the boundary
- 27:04becomes twisted. If the boundary is driven by a
- 27:07desire for revenge, by scorned, by taking secret pleasure and
- 27:10excluding the person, or by deciding you will never seek
- 27:13their genuine good, like their repentance and restoration, then
- 27:16it's not just prudence anymore. It becomes what the source is
- 27:19called, hatred and therapeutic dress, using the language of
- 27:21boundaries to mask simple spite. Precisely.
- 27:25Prudence aims to protect the vulnerable and uphold justice,
- 27:28always leaving the door open, however remotely, for repentance
- 27:31and God's restoration. Malice uses boundaries as walls
- 27:35to lock people out and lock bitterness in.
- 27:38The goal for the Christian, even in setting boundaries, must
- 27:42ultimately include the possibility of reconciliation,
- 27:45however difficult, not just permanent spiteful separation.
- 27:48This has been a really crucial, detailed look at the law, the
- 27:52heart and the gospel when it comes to this sin of hatred,
- 27:55this heart level murder. Let's try to pull the threads
- 27:57together. OK, we set out to show that
- 28:00hatred isn't just extreme emotion.
- 28:01It's defined by scripture as heart level murder, often
- 28:04manifesting as contempt or withheld good because it attacks
- 28:08God's image in our neighbor. The law exposes this deep sin
- 28:12within us. But the law can't cure it.
- 28:14The cure comes only through Christ's cross, where he killed
- 28:16the hostility, reconciling us first to God.
- 28:19Right, and that vertical peace becomes the foundation and power
- 28:22through the Spirit and our union with Christ for horizontal
- 28:25reconciliation, for actually loving others, even enemies.
- 28:28So the mandate for us, for the church, is to actively move away
- 28:31from a culture that's often fluent in contempt, especially
- 28:34online, and become fluent in reconciliation.
- 28:37That means practicing things like the Alter Interruption
- 28:40principle, refusing vengeance, speaking grace, and doing those
- 28:44hard things like praying blessing for those who've
- 28:46wronged us. And we have to remember the
- 28:47serious spiritual danger involved if we refuse.
- 28:51The sources highlighted that harboring hatred leads to
- 28:54personal spiritual blindness and can even undermine our assurance
- 28:58of salvation. John says whoever hates his
- 29:00brother abides in death. That's a sobering warning.
- 29:03It really is. Which leaves a pointed question
- 29:06for all of us listening. Where in your own life may be
- 29:08hidden in a sarcastic online comment, a pattern of avoidance,
- 29:11or just that internal rumination?
- 29:13Where does performative scorn or settled bitterness reveal a
- 29:17refusal to be reconciled? And thinking about that, what
- 29:20one specific, maybe costly step of tangible kindness or
- 29:23courageous peacemaking will you take, starting today, to
- 29:26actively pursue peace?