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FROM CHURCH TO THE STRIP CLUB · Blind But Now I See

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Who we get myself together forty years or so.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: That ship you prepared? Oh god, these people, these people.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Good to go. Yeah, we're getting good.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Go back out it for another episode of the blamin
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: I See show. I'm your host official blind stubber.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: And I'm the hostess with the most is hot wheels
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: for real.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: We got a special guest here today who'll re interested
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: with Off camera he was talking some ship.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: But we had a good we got with us.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: But did because you're in a wheelchair, don't We don't
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: introduce announce you.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Because you're in a wheelchair. We don't make no exceptions.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: I'm saying this your heart from my not the fucking here.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: We got wheels between mister.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I felt like I'm being your.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Wheelchair mister white chair himself, mister Joshua Adams a k
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: A author, a k a A disability advocate as wouldn't
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: be a motherfucking.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Preacher, motivational speaker.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Motivational speaker. He do his mother fucking big one. So
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: shout out to my brother for coming today.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you, thank you, and let we ever
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: get into a shot your book out?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, did you should have? I told him that got
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: to be prepared, but shout it out. He said he
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: was ready. He said, he said he was ready. All
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: came with the big shout it out.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Listen, y'all get Two Worlds, One Life on Amazon. Type
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: in Two Worlds, One Life by Joshua.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Adams, fell Joshua for them.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: J O S. H U A Adams, A D. S.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: And David A Amaz and Mary.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: That's now, let's get into the I wanted to have
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: him here because this is my bro and we've met
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: a few years ago and he told me some things
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: about his life that.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: You was eating him, eating him up.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Well, I wasn't eating him up. I wasn't eating him
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: up about that. Let's not confuse that.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: When you first told me, it was a one on
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: one conversation and we had that amongst ourselves. You get
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying, And it was going on for a
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: while before I even gave my opinion on it.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I just allowed you to, you know, to explode. That's
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: your life.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I can't make you do anything you don't want to do,
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: even if I tell you your bro ain't ship you
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: That's not my business. I'm not the whit where you
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: put ce.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: She is.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: So it's like, you know that's gonna be hard, but
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: you know, he shared that he was going through what
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: you know, Unfortunately a lot of people that are disabled
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: go through which is called disabled abuse. Now, disabled abuse
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: isn't only just physical, but it can be financial abuse,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: it can be emotional abuse, it can be mental abuse.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: It can be use of trying to take if they
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: know they help you, right, they'll try to take away
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: the help that they know they need, that they know
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: you need just to you know.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: So let's start with how that happened? Where did you
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: meet this person that?
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: And we can come up with the aliens because we're
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: not getting unless you want to say that the truth.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you all mention nobody name if you
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: want to you can't because what yeah, I'm with that.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: So before all of that, I got say you give
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: us a backstory he told us about. I gotta give
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: you lead it up. You know.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: So did you get injured? Like, I mean, you're not injured,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: So what do you What is your disability?
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: So I do have spina bit forit. The hydro seftis
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: spina bifit is when your spine is open at birth.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Your spine has a bunch of nerves that supposed to
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: generate movement and feeling. In my case, they were jumbled up,
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: kind of like you know spaghetti. To this day, there's
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: no cure to re route the nerves. If you do,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: the baby can die. So they have the closest spine up.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: So now with spina, I have an L three L
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: four degree.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: So excuse me, I'm sorry to cut you. If you
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: have spina and what else you said something hydroeless? So
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: it's different parts of spina. Yeah, so you need to
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: let's be clear if is there different parts of spin
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: or is there only one?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: There's differently they call it levels.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I have an L three L four degree spin, So
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: that means I cannot feel below my knee. I can
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: move my legs, I can move my legs to a
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: certain you know degree, but I can't like run or
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: nothing like that, you know.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: But it's that there's a difference between you.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Can't feel below your knee, right, but fill your whole thousands, Yes,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: can you feel because you know that's what you understand,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: you can stand it up. They want to know, they do,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: they want to know, can you feel your does it work?
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Does it working?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: It's not. Let the ladies definitely need the chair after okay, ship.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Putting down mister one chair, you're gonna need that, like
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: talking about it. Okay, So that so that's that's actually
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: good thing. So you can still Are you still able
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: to have kids?
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Yes? Okay? Good?
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Do you see that in your future.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Or I do?
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: There is a four percent chance that the baby can
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: have spine up for the So I think it's like
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: more so about alignment.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Is that a fair of yours? Four percent?
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: It's not that it's not a fear anymore. I think
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: that it's more about alignment. I think that you know,
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: I gotta be honest with whoever. I need to let
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: them know what it is. This is what I go through,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: This is what we possibly can go through.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Are you with it? So you can be real? Is
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: this something that runs in your family? Are you the first?
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I'm the first?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: So it's not hereditary and that happens. It's a brief defect.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: It's a birth defect.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I think that when people spind a bit for what
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: happens is you the mother? Uh, it's less nutrients to
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: the body, so she's not getting nutrition in to her body.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: So there's a likely a more higher likely chance, but
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: that if she's.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Not getting a proper news. So stuff like this is why, ladies,
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: it's important to take your prenatals. It's important to go
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: to all your checkups. It's important that any little thing
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: you feel funny about, even if they try to just
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: tell you all you're pregnant, things.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Happen, check up on yourself. I was you, you got insurance,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: use it inside. You can't get pregnant again.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Stop but go back, go back to what you were
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: saying though this finding for that, that's what That's what
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I meant, Like are you I'm not saying are you fared?
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about like, would you be unhappy if your
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: child has notn a bit for that?
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Nah?
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I think that what I would do is give him
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: the tools to access the way to access the world,
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: the tools.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: That I didn't have. You could prepare him better.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I want him to like be as independent as fuck,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: Like I want him to move around. I want him to,
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: you know, explore this world and know that he's a
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: king and he can like take over this world chair
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: or not. Disability or not. Like, let's do it all, right,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: but let's go back to your story.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I gotta I know your story, so I
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: got I got to ask you the questions as if
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I don't. So let's start with so how how what's
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: your living situation? Like were you when you were born?
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: You were living with your parents?
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, living? Pid you move out? I moved out to
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: the age of twenty nine. I'm thirty seven now.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: So you've been on your own for eight years?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: What did you Where have you have you been in?
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: Where do you live?
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I live downtown Brooklyn on your own, yes, and you've
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: been on your own for eight years?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, in that apartment.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, that's a before you came in, he was
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: like telling the story that I led up to pretty
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: much what we're talking about today.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got the backdrop. Yeah, like, are you do
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: you mind telling it?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: To make sure you make sure you say the story
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: and make sure you say which you know how you
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: feel and.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: You're absolutely listen. I ain't holding no punches. Okay, so
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: let's go, let's get it. So it started the age
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: of seventeenth for me. Before that time, I was, you know,
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Frenchie talked about, you know, being in the preacher.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I grew up in church, but with it.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I always say that I don't like to defind myself
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: as being handicapped. The reason why is because I allowed
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: my chair to handicap me. So I was giving him
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: the scenario analogy of growing up. And you see, boy
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: likes girl, girl likes boy, and then here I am
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: in these regular air classes and I'm like, dag, nobody
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: likes me. All right, cool, we go to junior high
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: same thing high.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: School because you're not you're not in special but I'm
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: a regular class.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: You're fully men capable, but you're in a wheelchair.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: So they treated right.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: But I'm the only person in a wheelchairs So I'm
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: the odd ball in old school.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Or not in the whole school? Was the whole school? Dang,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: that's tough. That's tough. At least we had like.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Talk, I roll fashion, I roll fast, the wheelchair talk.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: So you are the only person in the chair in
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: the entire school. Yeah, So what did that make you
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: feel like?
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Well, first of all, I wasn't. I was the only
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  Speaker 3: wheelchair kid in my class. They were a few people.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Like school in the school that they were mentally, they
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: were mentally and some were in regular classes, but very few.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: So you know, what I mean.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: So now you know, as far as me, I'm in
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: this class, these regular classes, some of them are honor
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: roll classes because I'm you know, I'm excelling, doing well.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: But I'm still that odd ball, and I'm still seeing
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: kids develop, kids like each other, but no one likes me.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: And then we fast forward to junior high Let's see
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: what happens. Nothing happens. High school.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like, dag, somebody gout, like me, what am I doing?
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Still a version at this point.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: At this point, I'm still a virgin. So we passed
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: high school, nobody likes me. Seventeen graduate high school, I'm
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: on my way to Kingsboro Community College. So I dropped out.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: I dropped out. I didn't know nothing about like financial
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: aid or nothing.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Like I did. I took their money and.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: I took a different direction. I was like, you know what,
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: let me see what the world has to you know,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: offer me. I lived in Kanasi at the time. I
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: was right next to I live in the private house,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: but bay View Projects was like right down the street.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, yo, let me just start hanging out
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: over there.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Man. I used to hang out on the corner every
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: day to the point where people was like this think.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: It's a drug dealer has to be I used to
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: tell him that too, just for.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: Protection, like yeah, you're a drug dealer. Just for a
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: protection because like I ain't want no problem they tried
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: to rob. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't protection. He was
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: a target. I was thought I was his tex That's
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: what it was, you know. And then I met this
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: pimp yep, and.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: He just took Yeah, I just play it ready for that.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, I met this guy.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: I knew a lot of ladies over there and they
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: were cute, but I was on this thing like they're
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: not going to look at me or whatever. He would watch,
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: he would study me. We became close, came real.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: He had.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: We had a conversation one morning. It was around like
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: ten o'clock. I never get it run the summertime. And
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: he was like, yo, listen, man, that chair, that chair
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: is going to be a problem for you. But I
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: could tell you you could still get to the ladies,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: or you got to have his money.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: So you funded his business. But the pimp scouted the trick.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they caught me. They caught me, and he shot
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: your mind pretty much.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I lost my virginity to a prostitute.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, the pimp connected it?
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: How much?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: How much did you lose your virginity for two hundred dollars? Yeah?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: They got you? Bitch?
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Was this no not no name? But what what does?
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: What year was this? It was twenty two? No, no, no,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: it was yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like two hundred? What? Yeah?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Was did she paint that two hundred? That wasn't your friend?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: He wasn't. It wasn't for like four girls? Yeah, I
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: realized the mathema. How many he brought back in the day?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: You got? You got you? You want to tell me something,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: man like, let me tell me do the math, No comment,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: no comment? He married technical, you know what I'm saying.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: So you spent two hundred dollars for your virginity?
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah? And how was it magical? Was it everything that
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: you expected? Yeah?
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: Did she act like she was in like? Did you
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: tell her to act like?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: You know your story? That nigga, that's what we're here for.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: You can tell us all got you know, America is watching,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Good Morning America.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: I became the godfather to her kids. The first person
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: that you know start when you lot your rginity to do.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: None was the god daddy. None would god.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Daddy, you're still in an active in the children's life,
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: so you chose to be the guy you could have.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Been, dy Daddy. I kept it in. You know what
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. We strapped in. I had to make up
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: to stop up.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know where, no question because now I'm into it.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I'm fully into this. You know me, I'm the sexologist
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: apparently in here. So let's get another clip out of
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: this week. Look, so after you paid for that first experience,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: what happened after that?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Like what was your next experience? Like how soon was
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: the next one? What did you do? How did you
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: go about it?
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: So now I was like I was mixed emotions because
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: now I have a friend. After the session, she wanted
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: to lay down with me. We was talking, had on
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: my chest and I'm like, okay, I could call you.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I call you next week. And I called her and
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: she's like, you ain't got no money for me, baby,
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: she swindled you. I'm gonna see you when you got
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: some money. And at that time my mentality was like, damn,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: I got more money.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: We got to get some I gotta get this young.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Huh was like a crackhead.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: As I check came out, you were spending that pussy?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Wait how much you was spending on it? Though?
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: How much was this? Everybody? Every woman was different. No,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, I'm not like you.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: If you had one thousand dollars coming there every month,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: how much would you dedicating to that?
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I got to walk you through this, right,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: so just say that over the year, how much wasn't it?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Gonna hold on going answer the question? Was it half?
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: They were something I spent sixty dollars on because it was? No,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: But how many are you spending?
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: Maybe about like five hundred to eight hundred dollars, So
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: damn god, damn more than your check, more than damn.
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: You're giving these deal network.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: So you what you was eating? You eat? He was
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: eating pussy was eating it. I mean I was doing
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Not the booty, not everybody, everybody, not everybody everybody, not everybody.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: We're not even trying to make fun of you, none
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: of that. I don't.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying, like, like I said, I supported got
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: sex with the people before they got sexually active. You
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: was into porn, but Yeah, I was in the I
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: was in the porn of It.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Was the type of point that you like to watch
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: a lot of everony, big booty shake. What's your favorite?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: It depends on the day, bro.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: But what was the girl that you lost virginity too?
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: But she like.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: The slim thick on limp, thick, light skin, yeah, breaking them.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: Legs, a little younger than me.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: She's a little younger knees, you know what I'm saying.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: So she was a what she.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Was slim thick, light skin, you know, good to pussy gas. Yeah, yeah,
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Well he wouldn't know what good pussy was.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't know because that's your first pussy. So that's
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: the pussy to you because that's the first puss, right.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: So the first time we say they they look for
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: that feeling again, Like men, I hear a lot of
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: men say like chasing nothing like that first nut and
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: the first not that you ever feels like. I'll hear
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: a lot of men say like the y'all can't get
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: it back. It's like when crackheads go looking around for
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: that same.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Now it's cool until you find that one that could do.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Some ship and you be like, yeah, but there were
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: a few of them, though, they were a few of
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: them that like, I ain't gonna lie, I fell in
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: love with them?
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: What was what was your type that you was going for?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: And and and it's was your mama?
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: So how did you get into the horse? Is this
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: is good? Being on the corner with the pem, hanging
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: out with the pimps.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: The pimp started it, but the pemp turned you into
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: a trick, and the processitutes turned into a.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Scent, and then and then it.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: Created a certain yeah, like you know what I'm saying,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: Like you know what I mean, y'allot, I fell.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: In the light. I fell in the light. Amen, powerful baby.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: How long you've been clean? He said the time? How
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: long you've been clean? How long?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: What?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: How long you've been clean? Clean up of what pus?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: He is clean? You clean? I mean he not clean?
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: Don't give you out there, don't give out. Ain't you
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: just say, bro, it's gonna be a pastor or something
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: like that? No, I had event.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: It don't mean it don't mean that like God is God,
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: don't mean that God is not in me?
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like God, what mean you're
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: trying to put you and I'm saying this, and you
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: know you're trying to put God in them.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: But but what But what did I say to you
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: before we started? I met a lot of strippers in
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: the strip club, Because that's that's.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Like about how many fuck what you're saying? I got questions.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I told you came up here, I got some ship
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: for you. I told let's go.
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: So how many procesitutores? Would you say?
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Shut up?
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: This is from seventeen years old. You had your first
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: pross do at seventeen, So from seventeen to thirty seven,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: twenty years, how many prostitutes you average into that?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: That's it? Thirty in your whole life?
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Thirty seven thirty thirty thirty to forty thirty forty? Good wait, homo,
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: you I just you said your past sex she younger
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: than you? How much younger?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: She was younger than you? So she was young him?
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: How much younger?
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: She was like sixteen seventeen, but you were seventeen, she
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: was fifteen fifteen knew.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Boy, I know somebody to.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: He's seventeen buying it, expla the girl I didn't know
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: until like years later, because she did.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: You're the god that no more though she but yeah,
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: she gotself funny. No no, no, no, we we on
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: some like straight. She don't found the Lord in it all.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: That you put it in there?
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: The God hit me you.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I mean you know I'm side. You know. Oh we're
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: going to hell. We are, We're going to like Billy
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: and this sh we got going to hell. You know
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, So with that all right? So you said about
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: thirty So you say you don't have you you don't
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: do that bad.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Have you ever had it? But it's recycled though.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Have you ever had an experience with a woman without
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: money being involved?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Nah?
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: So every experience you had with a woman, it was
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: something money had to be away, something.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: That like conditional base right.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was always like on some transactional type ship.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: We gotta do it. So far? How for the love
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: of job? How do you feel? How did it make
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: you feel? Now?
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: I could look back and and be like yo, like
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: that was a low like you low life nigga.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Like like you better than that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: Get your ship together, get your mind right, stop acting.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: And I'm I'm gonna say something that may offend people,
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: but stop that can handicap And the reason why.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I say that is, because that's gonna finds it like
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: what you're gonna do with because because I've met so
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: many people make us look bad. Sometimes you don't make
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: us look bad.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Like y'all look bad, because you make us look like
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: we just laughing with an able body nigga talking ship
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: like because you can't do that.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: You gotta you gotta open your eyes, right. But there
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: are a lot of people I've learned that like your glasses.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: You know that man from the glasses or it's something serious, man,
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: it's yeah, he looked ahead.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Doctor, he looking at you with the class. Now let's
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: go back to what you were saying. Yes, sir, so
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: you know what do you think?
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: But you know, what do you think about someone buying
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: pussy that young? What would you say to that if
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: your son pussy at that age? What would you say
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: if your son answered the question that was asking my
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: son if your son tried to buy pussy at seventeen?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: What was you saying?
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you don't got to buy a pussy, you're
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: let nigger a ready. So but like me, like I
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: was just telling to Josh, we come from two walks.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: I was a let nigga before I went blind, so
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I didn't have that problem.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Right, Josh didn't know what you feel me Josh waslchair.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: But also, did you have you had your dadd in
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: your life?
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have your dady had on half. I
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: had father figures.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: You have father figures, step father, My uncle's everything.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Step father.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: You have a father, Okay, So for you, what about
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: your daddy?
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I have my mommy and daddy, but I never had
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: that close relationship with your father.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: I felt like I could talk to them about everything.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: Did you even have the sex talk with your father?
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Never? Did?
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: He just thought you wasn't gonna gettne because of the chair.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: No, literally literally, like that's what it's help. Have you
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: have you ever got like burnt or anything?
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: To make sure they got God? Thank god.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: No.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Prostitutors are honestly usually cleaned from.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: What I hear, depending where you're going. Are they not clean?
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Depending where you're going?
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: I know the brothel houses they got to get tested.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah they safe. But those they say, how you
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: know websites?
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Why you keep saying what prostitutes is?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: You know, inquiring and your answering.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I've been you know, like you know what I'm saying, no,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I can't relate to you. I can't relate to you.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't wait for nobody laying on my chest.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: No.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Wait, so okay, so now this translated obviously into you
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: going through.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: The abuse, right right, So we fast forward.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Let's let's go to like now being on my own
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: and and and you know, having my own home. Now,
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: it's like I was telling him, it's like a rebellion spirit.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Now I want to have all the cake coming in,
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: you know, back to back to back to back to back.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: I got there because you want to keep sucking.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: I do, but I also kind of want that that
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: girlfriend experience type thing. And now I got this beautiful home.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: I'm in the fifty two story building.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: So now you've reached you.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: You you've peaked.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: You went from trick to sugar daddy, that's what you're
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: trying to go to.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say that pretty much like, but
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: I'm not seeing it like that way.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: I'm seeing it like, I'm just saying, what's going on?
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Got you? You know what I'm saying.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: You're just seeing your building, big ass building.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Right, got your own ship. Nobody can tell you nothing.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: Hold on before when you were doing this at seventeen.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: You were going to hotels and stuff. Yeah, what was
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: your like when you were doing.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: This because it has to be wheelchair accessible.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Yep, So how you were doing You're going to hotel.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: It turned the Galaxy into you was.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: In the gall or you had bad bugs, but you
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: got by bad book before. Bro, you went to the
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Galaxy on you got bit by bad bugs. And then
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: the Oasis too. Where is that? This is Brooklyn? Yeah, yeah,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: it is, Yeah, Brooklyn.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: I think I just heard somebody closet something the Galaxy.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: They had bad bugs in that mob folks, if you
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: know right, the Oasis did.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was you know the bad he rung up.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: I heard about it rung him in that summer. I
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: ain't playing with Galaxy.
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: That was where you took them hundred bitches that you
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: never went to the Oasis. You never we had trap never.
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: I never want to know Galaxy.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: We still ain't had a bitch calling and said, you know.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: The poisoned girls because me black of boys and girls.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: It was sixty dollars hotels.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: It was like, I was that So you was in
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: the Galaxy for how much? So you had to was
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: that feet included in your two hundred. That's what I
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: wanted to know.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: You have to pay for the rooms.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: You have to pay for some of them was like
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: all right, see you later, and they would take the
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: room and then so you pay for them to go
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: fuck somebody else. Yeah, some of them.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: Well you didn't need to stay there. He said they
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: had bad bugs.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, thank god I never caught them, to be clear,
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. The crazy thing about it,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: I wanted to ask you, right oaces across the street
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: from the church, what is that Christian Cultural Center?
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: It's literally right across the streets with block black Lands
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: in Louisiana.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: That's not my hood.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: So so like it was so much of an addiction that,
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: like even after church, like I used to be like
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: across the street together, call on my phone.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I it was called you beauty is available? I you baby?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Like yo, what's up? Like Yo? I'm across the street.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: All right, cool, I've been there half an hour, bam,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: waiting for downstairs.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Get the rooms. You had them saved my first names.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Some of them have their first names, you know.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Like when we got like closer into the relationship and
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: all of that it wasn't a relationship man.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: So okay, I think I wait, I think we totally
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I think we totally missed. I think we totally misconstrued
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: this one. This episode is just going to be about
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: you and your processes. The next one will do the
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: disabled abuse because this is really big. I didn't know
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: that you had all this going on. I just thought
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: you was out here.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: You told you he was out here. In that way,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: it seemed like he was abusing himself. Now he was
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: abusing himself. He was abusing himself, abusing your.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Need to feel normal and to feel love essentially made
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: you into something that you didn't even.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: Love, right, because my love language is physical touch, quality time,
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: two crazy combinations.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: But at the same time yourself and yourself.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: I always but but you spend damn you spend years
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: like you even just that.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: My thing is, it's the energy that I'm concerned with.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, because as spiritual people, you
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: laying down with women that are being paid to lay
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: down with me, You know what I'm saying. And I'm
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: not knocking anybody hustle because what you're doing, if it's
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: someone's at.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: Home, you're crying all along on the bedroom flood because
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: he's hungry.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Is that we're gonna turn this into thetion, but we will,
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: we can't, but no, for real, Like I don't judge,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I don't knock, But my whole thing is you just
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: have to be aware of these things because even with
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: the condom, your soul was never protected doing them things.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: So now you're laying down with these women, these money
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: hungry hordes, absolutely these bitches, and you're laying down with them,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: and you're just sitting there like, yup, I love this bitch.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: But then so it's like it wasn't really about the sex.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: You just wanted to feeling because you was kissing.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: On them, laying up with them.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: But some of them, I was some of them like
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: it sounds crazy, but some of them they realized that, like,
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: you know what, we gotta break this off because you're
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: so much to attach.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: They think they found out how much of a good
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: person you are. They got to know you, they've seen
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: the heart, and they was like they couldn't even do it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: I can't do this with you no more.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Bro.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna be your friend, but we got to stop
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: this money tides. And I still hang out with you
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: and all of that, But I'd rather be your friend,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: so then you not for free.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: So you got friends, off, you got friends. I got
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: a few friends. I got a few friends.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: Some of them are like even in the adult industry
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: and all of that. Like I have a full couple
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: of strippers too, that that I've met that actually was
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: like I.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: Remember when you told me about that we both know personally.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, like she she she became a main friend.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I ain't gonna lietle she when she invited me to that.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: That was the first time I went to the strip club.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: Okay that night, So your first time to a porn star.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I just flipped you that you didn't get
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: all the action I did.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: I got, like see, okay, the immature of me or
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: the man that didn't know a lot. I felt like
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: the men in that because I got like ten numbers
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: that night from a bunch of strippers, and.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I was telling them I had a trick.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: I only came with a certain amount of money, whispered
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: in their ear, like yo, listen, hey, this is all
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: I got.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: So you was here scouting for holes, yes, yes, okay,
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: So how much you told them you had?
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: What was your budget came in with like maybe one
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: hundred dollars. They looking at you like you better throw
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: that and I'm gonna go Crystal next.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: What I did was like I'm pushing the singles out,
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: but I'm like listen, baby, like, YO, take my number down.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I guarantee you we can meet up. I got way
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: more for you. That's just you your thought of it.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Club and a couple of them were like, I remember
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: that night.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: There was one person. She was dancing on me, like wonderfully.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: She was like this wasn't when she was bouncing on
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: it and all she was like showing the Coulson and
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: then putting the hand this and that, and I'm like, yo, baby,
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: like yo, what's up after this?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Like you know we we We're gonna do what we're
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: gonna do.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: She got up, she walked the funk away from me,
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: and it was like that was it?
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: So I was that point you ran her way?
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: She so, let's because you're getting off of the topic.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: The questions now is about what made you realize that
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: you what you were doing wasn't for you at what.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: I think recently twenty twenty four, two years ago. Yeah,
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: this is this is fresh. I had met somebody who
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: I knew for ten years. Okay, she was in my
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: DM and I'm like, yo, out of old people. She's
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: hitting me up, and so she ends up telling me
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: her story. Her living situation is messed up. It's going crazy.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Now. My mom set at the time, was.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: Like, well, hey, great, you could come here. And that's
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: when it kicked off. She started, you know, coming around.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Eventually she moved in. Everything was Gucci, and I started
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: feeling like the man, like I'm getting breakfast, lunch, dinner.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: That's that love that you've been chasing, the love that
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: I've been chasing. And to the point where I know
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: the type of woman she is.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I lied to her. This is something I didn't I
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: think I did tell you. I lied to her. I
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: was like, oh listen, I'm about to die. Yeah, you
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: did tell me that I got.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: Stage four cancer. I'm about to die. You know, I
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: need you to stay with me. And how did you
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: feel saying though about to say that.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: You willing to speak those things of your life, because
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: the power to the tongue is you willing to speak
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: illness over.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Your I look, I look at it now like yo,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Like that was really stupid. Like the man I am
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: in the day is not the man I was three
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: years ago, and it's a short time. And also leave
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: room for growth, like you know what I mean, absolutely,
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Like to be clear, I would never do what I
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: did with the situation like it lasts, never do it again.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: I would never do it again. It lasted three years.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: This is a person that is in the sex industry,
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: sleeping with.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Other people from through the sex industry.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: We met on a Facebook group and you know, it
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: was always about sex and all that good stuff. We
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: would talk basically on and off for ten years straight
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: on on Facebook and never we never met.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: We never, we never. You know, your first she moved
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: it with you? Yep?
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: And she so as she's living with you, did you
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: pay her?
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I pay for certain bills like she didn't pay rents,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: can't pay no rent.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: The mills that she was cooking was from your money,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: my money, so you okay? So you basically had a living.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Maid yeah okay, yeah, with extra benefits and all of that.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: And I was you know what I mean, you and
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: yes up together yep. Okay, So it felt it felt real,
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: but it wasn't real because at the end of the day.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: I remember a conversation we had where she was about
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: to go make a run so to speak with it
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: for you know, getting some money.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: And she was like, ya, I gotta do this.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: And then furthermore, you can't do for me anyway, look
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: at you.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: And she was talking to me.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: She was talking about me physically, so she was like, yo,
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: I gotta get you know, money net off because you
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: can't think your house is the compensation for me.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Plus you don't have enough money for me. So when
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: she said those words, how did it make you feel?
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: It made me feel low, But I ignored it because
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: I was chasing that feeling so much, that.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Feeling good I did. You thought you loved her. I
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: thought I was in love.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: But you know you loved her, you just wasn't in love.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: And that's fair, that's okay because being in love and.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Loving, yeah, you know, And I think that like for
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: the first like maybe two years, I was in love
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: because I defined in lovers like being responsible for that
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: person and like you know, looking at through all the
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: floors and all that. So I decided to whatever she needed,
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: I was always gonna be there because I was a
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: good listener of her story, not realizing that she was
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: running game to get more out of it of you,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So I'm spinning on this.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I'm spinning on surgery on.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: Someone that literally told you you weren't good enough for that.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: But before the evening you want that ship, I told you.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: But before that, it's like you kind of invited that
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: into your life. It was you had I can't blame
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: nobody in cancer.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: You said you had cancer. So it's like, this is
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: at this.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Point she's thinking you have cancer, or this is before
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: she she didn't think you had cancer.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: At this point she just came ater on right. I
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: lied about the cancer for about a year, a year
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: and a half. So how did you keep up with that?
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Like no chemo?
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: She's she didn't ask you about chemos that I.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: Had the story all planned out. Every Thursday, I would
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: take a walk to Brooklyn Hospital just to sit out there,
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: just to sit out there, and I would go to
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: the floor. I remember tooking the video on Instagram of
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: going to the I forgot what they call it, but
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: it was that floor for cancer pation. Oh god, so
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: you really I played it out very well just to
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: keep around, just keep around.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I told her friends about it, family and all.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Of that, her family you had cancer, because she you know,
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: she don't.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: She had me around a few family members, so yeah,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I was the one you had cancer and everything. Yep,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: to the people.
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: Can we give an apology to the people that really
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: have cancer?
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: And I do want to say that, I do apologize,
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: and in my heart does go out to you guys
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: that really truly do that. That was wrong in me
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: to do that, and I do. Sheut you out, Keep
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: going strong, keep fighting, keep fighting.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: At the end of the day, I acknowledge who you
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: are and I love who you are. You get what
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, and I'm proud of you for being able
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: to even come and speak on this because there's a
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: lot of people that this happens so when they can't speak.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: But the one thing we don't play with is illnesses.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying, because we already physically go
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: through enough for what we have to deal with face.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: You do not want to push shut on yourself, pretend
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: to have something you downplay the next persons. You know
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: what I mean, journey and there's people that have cancer
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: that might look up to that might you get what
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: I'm saying. There's people that have cancer that might want
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: to talk to you and stuff, so that apology definitely will.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Be helpful in the future.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Belate that because you're you're a better person now, you absolutely,
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: It's just that has to be.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: That had to have been the lowest moment.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: In your life there, because that's not even game anymore.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: That's mental that's mental illness. You were behaving mentally ill
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: to develop a whole disease in your head and then
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: to say that you went to the floor. You get
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: to think about it. That was a lot because there's
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: one thing to be a liar because niggas lie, but
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: play like that and to really have it set every Thursday.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: So the bitch no cared for you much because she
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: didn't go to none of them.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: She was still doing she she never went with me and.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: None of you, And that should have told you something. Damn,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: I'm sitting here pretending for this ship and this bitch
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: don't even give a fuck if I die, because at
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: the end she would have had your grid if you
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: look at it.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Why, like she all she cared about was Okay, I
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: got this space.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: That's it. Like you know what I mean, and all
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: I care about was you. Hear, I'm trying to keep
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: you as long as possible.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: What she having nice to you?
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Definitely cook clean and all that you felt he had
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: the perfect girlfriend. I felt like that. But at the
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: end of the day, also, why am I sharing somebody?
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Number one?
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: Number two, I'm also arguing about that stuff that have
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: to do with me like so so yet in other words,
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not good enough for you and me trying to
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: fight to prove she wasn't.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: How long did it take you to realize let's clarify
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that she wasn't good enough? How long it took you
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: to realize that?
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: I really I realized that when I got it in
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: a nursing home in twenty twenty four.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: And what caused that?
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: I had a stage A, stage three to stage four
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: also on my left buttocks, Oh my god.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: And those are the people.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: But the people that don't know. I don't know for
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: the people that he's such a clown. I swear for
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: the for the people.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: That don't know.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: It's something that you know if you are not moving
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: your body, if you're bedridden, or if like you less
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: and you can't move around so much, and he's just
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: putting pressure down so your skin and your bones and
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: everything rubs together.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: I take except further.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not to cut you off, but I also am
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: in continent.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: Incontinent means he can't go to the bathroom.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you for answering. Explain it for the people. No,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: I was going to but she got me. Sorry, I'm
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: just very much, But that's exactly what it is.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: So that caused the problem too, because you're you're incontinent,
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: so you don't know that you're going to the bathroom.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Is getting ancient depression, depression because they were nights before
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: like because you being you having a pressure store, I
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: can't even jack you because you could feel and you
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: can move your legs. I'm saying, why didn't why didn't
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: you just you get what I'm saying that that's that's
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: that was like. So that's like suicide because for people
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: in wheelchairs, pressure.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Stores kill us. Are you suicidal? I was? I was.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: I was a few times when I first moved, I
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: was suicidal. My first year, I was suicidal. They were
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: days where and I'm gonna be like real, I used
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: to sit in that diaper for literally days, just hoping,
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: just just I just want to like I just wanted
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: to and I had a home attendant at the time
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: that our relationship kind of like went haywire. She raised
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: me when I was like twelve years old, but when
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: I moved, the relationship just became like really off, and
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: so I didn't.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Even want to be around her energy. Why do you
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: feel like social work? Why do you feel like that? Was?
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: How do I I'm saying, why do you feel like
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: the off? I think what it was? Okay?
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: So with her, like I talked about in my book,
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: she also had a situation, a home living situation where
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: she was getting kicked out of her apartment. Now my
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: social worker, she was like, oh, that's great, you could
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: stay with him. So the social work at the time,
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: she was making all the rules and she didn't even
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: give me the opportunity to be like, well, I want
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: to do this, I want.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: To do that, and I just had to roll with it.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: You're being abused all around the board, I was.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: So you didn't have anyone to advocate for you.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: I did, and I didn't have that relationship with my
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: parents to be like, yo, like this is what this
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: was going on?
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: I remember one night I invited somebody over. I told
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: the home attended like, listen, I'm gonna have some company.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: It's going to be a certain time. I don't know
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: when it's going to end.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Cool. I'll text you when I'm when I'm ready. Because
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: you were trying to get yours. I was trying to
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: get I was trying.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: Don't come back into you texting right, And I ended
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: up texting her like at twelve thirty and she didn't
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: text me back that whole entire night. That next morning
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: she came back with an attitude, and I'm wondering, what
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: the hell is going on? Low story short, the social
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: work comes in. Now she's spilling the beans of what happened.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: The social workers blacking out on me. I say this
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: in my book too. A social worker is like, yo, listen,
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: if he act up, throw him.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Out his wheelchair? What what for you?
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: What? He don't have no family? What I'm gonna. I'm
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: gonna what's her name? What's her name?
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: No?
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: Put that out there. I'm not playing around with you.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Because what's her name?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Nobody? It's a social worker. Because I'm going to school
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: for this. If a social worker is telling people to
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: sit there and throw you out your chair, what's her name.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Don't have no fucking respect for that. No, Carmen Hayes, Carmen's.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Carmon Hayes, Carmen Hayes counter days, because God do not play.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: And when you do wrong to others, it comes back
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: to you. And if Carmen Hayes is your social worker,
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: even if she's doing good to you, leave her now,
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: because if you could do one person wrong, you could
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: do everybody wrong.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: That's fucked up.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: I don't like shit like that. So told her that,
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: and with the home out they did, she laughed, she laughed,
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: She laughed at it.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Somebody that raised you.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: That raised me, she laughed at it. And I didn't
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: know who to talk to at the time. No, I
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: couldn't talk to my parents had a relationship. So I
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: just was like living life. And how did you ever
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: think your life was in danger? In my late twenties,
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: it was never in danger. But I wanted to die
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: because I had no outlet. I felt like like I
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: was trapped. I couldn't talk to nobody, So I don't
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: want to be around nobody. I don't want to be
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: around her, the person that's supposed to care for me.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: I don't even want no care like it's like, I
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: don't even bother you. I feel like a burden.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Did you get that you're getting paid, She's getting paid
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: to help me. You feel like a burden for somebody
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: that's getting paid to do that. That's the one person
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: that's not that You're not supposed to feel like a
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: burden too. And that shit really breaks my heart. I've
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: never had to experience that, you know what I'm saying,
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: but just hearing that at another person, another human being
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: in a similar situation that I'm in, and somebody told
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: that ship, that shit breaks my heart.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I'm saying. And and I just
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: you deserve so much better than what they give you.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: And I understand why you was paying for pussy because
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: you can't trust the motherfuckers in your life that's supposed
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: to be there doing shit for free.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: So now it's like.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: Fuck it down as well paid and get it.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Can you receive?
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: You have to pay for you thought that you can't
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: you loved on your own because people are telling you
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: you're not loved. People you have social workers saying you
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: don't got nobody. So this is the thing, and it
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: just gives anybody the green flag to take advantage of
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: your so before they took advantage of you, might as
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: well say, let me let me just pay for power,
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: like let me let me let me get.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: That's like the way of taking power back. Hour I
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: dofn'etly understand.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: I understand it so much better now because before I
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: just thought, I'm like nigga, everybody you know, we could
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: all well that's why I said, like anybody can find somebody.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: But I get it because the way that your relationship
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: was parents, from the social worker, from the schools, even
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: probably your teachers just started early. And that's the difference
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: between somebody that was born in a wheelchair, because you
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: had to deal and you had to adopt your whole
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: life adapted a certain age.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: I started getting it's crazy because the same girl that
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: was living with me was telling me how I need
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: therapy so much.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: The person that makes you need therapy always.
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: You're crazy, you know what I'm saying, because I would
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: have like I would, I would cry, I would you know,
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: get emotional. Ah, you're such an emotional your thing. You
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: have these you know moments and not like you should
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: get therapy. And I've been still going to therapy to
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: this day. For like four years straight.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Now, okay, is it hard to trust? It's hard to
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: trust for therapists. Did you tell her? Oh yeah, I
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: opened up. You didn't call the cops?
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: Nah?
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: She she wanted to dissect a little bit, like what's
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: really going on? So we started digging in from like childhood,
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: like growing up. Okay, you don't, You're not getting this.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: You have to work to get this. You have to
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: work to get that. So you you see this as
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: a routine that you have to work to get love.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: Let's try to rewire that ship and try to like
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: get you to like really love you for you, And
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: we're going to see how long it takes. But however
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: long it takes, I'm here for it. And it took.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: It took a situation where with this particular person, she
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: ended up, you know, having a kid.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, so how did that happen? How did you find
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: out about that? I was in my nursing home in
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. You was a nursing home. She was
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: staying back at your house. She was still in my crib,
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: still in nurse a home. What's coming in you? She was?
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: She definitely was.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: But it was one morning I was swiping and I
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: seen this guy. He was, you know, posting her. They
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: were very affectionate towards each other. I got mad because
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: we've recently had a conversation. When she came to see me,
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yo, let's take a video, let's take a picture.
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: She was like, yo, I don't want nobody in my business.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: I don't want to take no picture. I don't want
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: to do no video.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: And you go on for your phone and she had
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: to hire me. But imagine that though.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: So now I'm going into to several parts where I
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: gotta be strong. But at the same time, I'm asking myself,
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: what the hell is wrong with me that you can't, like,
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: you know, show me off doubt the question. That's what
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: I thought it was, you know what I'm saying. And
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: then I find, you know, these two up on there
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: and I in box him. I'm like, yo, but that's
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: the case, bro, Like, if that's your shorty.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Good surely. And Barbara, that fucking girl.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: What did he say?
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: He didn't really say anything. He he made an eighteen
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: minute and forty eight second video that didn't Shirley and
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: Barber moment.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Go ahead on Facebook face live. He pes on Facebook live,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: get new second in a minute, because I never forget it.
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: I'm never saying what he was like, Yo, I know
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: about your you in a nurse a home and all
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: of that, telling all your buss at the big apartment
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: and all of that.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, you know a lot, man.
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: And that's when I began to kind of look at
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Shorty different.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: What else was he saying? Because he's just saying.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: He was also threaten at me too, like yo, hey,
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: you don't leave that part of the fuck out.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: I'm grown ass man, grown ass, everybody man threatening somebody
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: with fine a bit for the l four in a
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: wheelchair in constant kind now feel blow?
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: Is me a grown ass?
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: How old was he? He got to be in his forties, grown.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Ass, forty something year old black man from Brooklyn. We're
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: gonna find your name. I'll drop it later. So next
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: what happened? And long story, shoiguse is lafe and I
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: want to venge it.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Less. I should have called this. You should have called Menna,
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: call Nigga. She's talking about you. Gotta have you, gotta
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: have everybody.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: Roll up, everybody lined up in front of you.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: What's up? You know what I mean? So that was
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: one thing.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: So when you confront how did you confront her about it?
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Nigga is baby a hope? Another part of the story.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: You done gave us three episodes and one.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Ship, so basically there was like some time with it.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: But I also knew that she was a polygamous woman
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: where she said that she would have multiple people. Part
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: of me was like, I still want you around. So
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: I still like like like minus myself to still be
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: around to as long as you have your situation, you
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: with me, you coming to see me. I'm already trying
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: to go through some stress trying to get back home.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: I still want to see, like where it goes her schedule.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: You were trying to make yourself. You was trying to
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: accommodate her into conveniencing your.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Life, right, you know what I mean?
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: Came back home and things are kind of like still rocky,
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: but I ain't think it would be that.
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: How long you came home after you found out she
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: was pregnant?
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: And how far along was I came back in October
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: of twenty twenty four in there for you was in
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: there for I was in there for like eight months?
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: And when did you found out she was pregnant January.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: So she was damn they do.
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: She was like halfway through when half No, No, she
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: was pregnant. I found out she was pregnant like in October.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: So when I came home.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, so you because you're confusing me because you I'm
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: thinking you found out she was pregnant when you got
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: in the nurses.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Nah, it was a little bit after yeap when you
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: said you come home.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and she was halfway through her pregnant.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: She taught me in January, but she found out herself
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: in October, so she kept she hid the pregnancy for
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: me that long.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: You can pregnancy ain't that long if she found out
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: in January, babes, if she found out, if she told
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: you in January, the baby would have been born at
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: least right after you came out out.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: November ish, which January twenty twenty five.
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the baby was born in January twenty twenty five.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: No, the baby was so the baby was born in
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: July of what twenty twenty five?
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Six, twenty twenty six, you're fucking mathew, And how did
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: the baby she had but twenty five four and down?
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: Something?
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: I wanted to correct you earlier when you said something
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: about twenty You keep saying twenty twenty four.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I think that's just a year. That's a year. That
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: fuck you. Oh yeah, that fuck you have early yeah
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: every time. That's the trauma. So almost happened twenty twenty five.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: Either way, the baby was born in twenty twenty five. Okay,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: so you know the baby you said twenty twenty six. No,
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: it's twenty twenty six.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: Now, yeah, but she got pregnant twenty twenty five. I
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: was born, not this year. No, it's twenty five, twenty
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: four five, the.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Law twenty twenty five. Okay, so this happened. Okay, I
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: get you now. Now we're picking up. So she was
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: pregnant twenty twenty four. Yeah, and she had a baby
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty five. So you found out like right when
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: she was about to be like she was just getting pregnant, right, okay.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: So against like her first trimester, right right.
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: And you told her she could stay at your house.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: I was telling her like yo, at this point, it
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: was it was a phase. I was like, okay, because
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: she gave me the story, like yo, this nigga don't
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: want to be around me no more. I'm a mom
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: by myself. So now the nice meat was like you.
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: Baby daddy, that curched you out for eighteen minutes and
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: forty eight seconds.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: That threat in Droy like, she did not mention that
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: at all.
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: She told you that he didn't want to be well,
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: even if she.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: Told you it was him, would you still had that
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: soft heart to say, Okay, you can still stay here?
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: I did at first, I did. How did you get out?
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: What happened was like our relationships start agetting, like really
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: really rocky.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: She had her dogs there.
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: She would spend time with this guy, and I felt like, okay,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: if you spending time you're pregnant, go over there.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Stay over there.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: She live there and lived there. She was like, I'm
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: not leaving until I'm ready. And so now I'm like
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: on something like, nah, you gotta go. She was, you
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: don't need child. Huh, you don't need child. I know
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: I got a little brother, young sister or none of that.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: You. Yeah, she'd try. She did, shut the fuck up, honest.
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: You know she did.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: She did.
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: So when she told you that.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: What did you do? I tried everything in the book
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: to get her, like get a gun. You ain't try that.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: I ain't try that. I ain't try that, but I'm
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: illegal legal trying to get her.
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, you wouldn't have had no permanence out he's disabled.
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: That's his house. Someone is breaking.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: In New York, Yes, there is. That's that's cap You
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: can still it is self defense everywhere. It's just our
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: lords are more tricer. But don't let them tell you
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: that it's not self defense, because people get up on
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: self defense out here. If somebody tries to stab me,
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: If somebody tries to stab me and I pick up
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: a fucking brick off the floor and I knocked them out,
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: and it's right there. I'm getting off at self defense
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: in New York. About a gun, Now, a gun you
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: could you can, you can still beat you can. You know,
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: you can get the self defense, but you'll get a
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: gun charge on some ship, like if it's on some
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: real ship. I'm telling you, Like the lawyers, the law
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: is very intricate. They always say, oh, New York, you
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: can't do this. People get away with magic nigga. But
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: he the way nigga killing the bitch, killing the bitch,
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: right you.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Could, black black yeah, you black black jack were talking
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: about bad.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Say, I'm trying to conpare because I don't know what
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: about to do after this episode, but you don't go
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: do nothing. I'm not saying he needed to do nothing,
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: and I am not firing against this ship up.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Whatever the funk he's about. This nigga was way out.
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: That realistically though, Like at that it was there a
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: point where you was like, no, I gotta fucking stand
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: up for myself. I can't allow this pregnant, prostitute bitch
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: to be me.
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: And that's when I Yeah, towards the end, I started
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: we started arguing.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: I started arguing back.
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: They were no more tears because there were so many
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: arguments where she would just make me cry and just so.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Did she ever hit you?
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: No, she hit She did hit me one time, how
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: like lately it was a smacking on my.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Right face like a little pod and you have.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: You have and a in your head, so she smacked
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: you anytime. Yeah, he has a shunt, in said. Everybody
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: was kind of bit for the has a shunt.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: With that that's a tube in the brain, the toop.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: This is why I have hydro selfless. Hydroceplus is water
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: to the brain, So that shunt is like a tube
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: that literally drains that water out your brain.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: Into your bloodstream. Damn.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you how did you Let's let's get into
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: how you got this.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: So so so now it's to the point where I'm
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: demanding and telling her like, Yo, I'm gonna evict you. No,
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: you're not, Yes, I am all right. Now I'm like,
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: I'm not walking your dog anymore because you would leave
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: your dog with me while you go.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: Be with it so you could take care of the
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: door while she out with.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: It with the guy, you know what I'm saying. And
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not doing that. So now that's inconvenience
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: in her. So now she's realizing that I'm not this
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: passive aggressive so much anymore. So now she's like, damn.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: So she's like, YO, listen all right on my baby shower.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna leave baby shower.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: Happened you the date?
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: She like, by the time that happens, Yeah, I'm gonna
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: be going in June. Never happened. Gets pregnant, I mean,
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, gets the things. She's about to have the
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: baby in July. I remember one morning or one afternoon
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: she called me. She's like, yo, I'm downstairs because she
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: was literally about to get, you know, give birth. She's like,
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: I'm downstairs. I need to pick up some things because
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: I'm about to give birth to my son. All right, cool, Oh,
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: I'm bringing so and so.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: The YEP to your crew. And I'm like, nah, you can't.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Like no, I have to because I can't lift certain
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: things now at that time, at that time, I'm panicking.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: I'm not thinking straight because I don't know what to do.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: I'm calling certain people, but they like not you know,
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: close or whatever. I know I'm about to leave anyway.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: And she didn't even give you a head tab. She's like, yo,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: I'm on my way.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: I'm being twenty minutes and I'm already getting dressed and
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: all of that. So I know I got to see him.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: I'm getting dressed, I come out the bathroom, we see
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: each other. I just give him her low because I'm
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: a respectful person, not.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Just I know. I know. So now he has a
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: conversation with me.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: He was like, Yo, you the nigga that was that
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: was posting threats on Facebook. I wanted you to see
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: my face to make sure you never forget my face, nigga.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: So he'd being gaged to a nigga in a wheelchair.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: I was just like all your motherfucker's in the comments
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: try to do like we give a fuck nigga.
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, so I just give him this. They gave him
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: a simple God bless you, brother, and I.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: Will that you rode off walk on when he told you,
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: When he told you that, she ain't say nothing.
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: She was quiet and he was by yourself. I was
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: my home attendant was there, but she was like, she
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: wasn't going to she can't do nothing. She can't do nothing.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: So so she that you met her, she was there
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: like all right, what's going on here?
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: Like you know, just like, but you can't do She
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: can only do so much for all of CAD.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: That's all she can't do.
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: And so at this point I'm like, yo, I know
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna leave, but I was scared.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: Because this man has obviously the upper hand. Yeah, so
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: that's real, that's honest. You have every right to be
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: Listen. As tough as I am, I know I can't
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: do what I.
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: Could do on it's a certain situation that throw me
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: under the card.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: I just know.
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: But I just know.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: That's why they got the laws now where you can
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: go get a license to protect yourself. And I'm saying
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: to protect yourself only not talking serious about this because
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: too many people are being targeted, you know what I say,
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: the fact and if we have to, if there's going
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: to be a war on disabled people, because that's what
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: it seems.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: The more we get noticed, the more.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: Disabled people get views and stuff like that, the more
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: it just makes people angry.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: I can't get a gun license.
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: Well, you can't get a gun You can't see, nigga,
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: who was your shooting that?
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: They won't even let me shoot at the range.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: Boy, But it's it's therapeutic though, honestly, because that's why
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: I got over my PTS. That should be something that
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: should be. But that's it's honestly dangerous. It's kind of
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: like because the gun range. You know what I'm saying,
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: What if somebody accidentally walked through? I don't know, that's
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: kind of dangerous. Yeah, yeah, but I know you know you.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Don't handle I don't know. I'm not that type of person.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: You don't know how to shoot cameras on? I know
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: how to shoot from a gun range. Should I ain't
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: learn that legally? Wait? I was in Atlanta, and.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: I'll learn you're talking about the gun range, then well.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: We need to make one and if you want to shoot,
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: but for real, no to anybody out there. If you're
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: going through what Joshua has went through, you know what
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, you can reach out to him that you
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: can reach out to me, or you can reach out
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: to see note.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Yeah, you can reach out
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: to the pot because he opened the doors for a
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: lot of people through something.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: We definitely want to hear your story, you know what
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: I mean. If you want to give a voice, if
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: you want to confront somebody that did this to you,
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: you can definitely hit us up on the show the
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: way the DMUs is because we're accessible in the DMS too.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: We need voice notes, okay, you know has to be
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: able to hear whatever I can hear. That way, it
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: makes us easier for us to don't make me damn
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: that damn blinde. And also, if you are a victim,
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: call the cops, tell someone, tell someone you trust. You
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, because it might not be easy
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: for you to get away, but understand, where there's a will,
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: there's a way. And I don't know what you believe in,
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: but if don't believe in God. Believe in yourself and
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: you'll be okay. The abuse is not okay no matter
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: if you're an able bodied if you're not protect yourself.
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: Ladies, women, you know what I mean.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: I said women, women and men both because both people
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: get abused, not just one cond and love yourself. Love
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: yourself because stuff like this doesn't happen. All this happened
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: to Josh because he was He wasn't given.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: The love vulnerable. He was taking advantage of my vulnerability.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: I say this, Your vulnerability is either strength or weakness,
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: depending on who you shared with.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, you know what I'm saying.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: So like I'm in good spaces, like I know people
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: like Frenchie.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: Like before I met Frenchie, I judge Frenchie.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: But Frenchie is that let's say that about me.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: I thought she was a stuck up bitch ghetto. You add.
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: Extra and then you see No, Josh, really quick because
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: we have to go.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: I need you to leave people with a word of
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: advice and encouragement to you know you've been through this experience.
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: Telling them and the social media too is social so
• 56:06
  Speaker 4: they can find you and.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: Mister Weir on every platform. M R W H A
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: T C H A I R.
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: I would say this man, whatever situation you're going through,
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: do not be your own handicap.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: That's a ball.
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: How much for coming, Josh, thank you for trusting love
• 56:25
  Speaker 4: y'all story.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: I love you.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: When I'm going to protect platform always open, used to
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: be shared, and that's why we're happy to have you.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: We're going to have you again next time.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: Bring your books.
• 56:35
  Speaker 4: We're gonna have you back once you sell.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Someone put some second book is coming out, second books
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: coming out.
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: We put something saying we should together, that we can
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: we all could just talk because we've all got different stories.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: The screen. We got thirty minutes. Le roll up the
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: screen