Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Heather Sanders on Marriage, Motherhood & Choosing Yourself

Transcript

Heather Sanders on Marriage, Motherhood & Choosing Yourself · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: My whole right side of my face is like paralyzed.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: And hey, guys, welcome too personal. Thanks so much for
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: joining me today.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I'm Joy Taylor and very excited to have Heather Sanders
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: in studio with us.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Hie.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: She has grown up in front of all of us,
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: founding Sorella Boutique in twenty twelve and turn it from
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: a small online shop to one of the most recognizable
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: fashion brands to come out of the social media era.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Mother of three navigating a long term relationship in the
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: public eye and evolving through different seasons while everyone watches.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: And that is kind of where I want.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: To start, because I feel very much in that space
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: right now. I spent most of my career in sports,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: and this podcast is not about sports. It's I don't
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: know about me, and now I'm getting the experience of
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: people like getting to know me ish.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Because there was another version of me.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: That person's dead, so everyone is confused as to what's happening.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Do you find it really difficult to go through different
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: phases of your life publicly?
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Very difficult, But I think I handle it pretty well.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: It's just like this is this is where I'm at now.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: You either love it or get with it or don't.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: What formed that mentality because I'm not sure how I
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: feel about any of it.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: I haven't decided.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: If I haven't decided, if I even like it yet?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Why Well, because I just I've been in the public eye.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: But sports is not about me. It's about someone else.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: It's about somebody else here, you know.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Now, I'm talking about my experiences and my thoughts and
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: my beliefs and my relationships and what I care about.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm fine with people not liking me. I consider
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: that to be an honor. But when you aren't sure
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: exactly where you stand on things, it's preserved forever.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Like you, you look back at certain things that you've
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: said or done in the past that were public, and
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: you're like, I would never ever do that again.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I know. Yeah, you learn, and I think that's what
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: it's about. You just take life as it goes and
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: you learn and you're like, Okay, I'll never do that again.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget my first online fight on the internet
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, that's so embarrassing.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I look back at it now, ten years ago, I'm like,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so embarrassing. I will never act
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: like that on the internet ever again, because it is
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: there forever. But it's like I've learned, you know, my lesson.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: So yeah, do you feel.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Like people have a hard time adjusting to a new
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: version of you though? Because that is the thing about
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: the internet, right, like it's forever. It kind of it
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: isn't It isn't like we all move on from things
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: very quickly. Yeah, but when something comes up, people are like, oh,
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: that's the girl that did this, and it's like a
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: part of your story, even though it's in reality it's
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: so far from.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Who you are.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: People will just they're either gonna like it or they're
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: gonna you know, they're gonna they're gonna love it, or
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: they're not. So it's like I'm changing, I'm growing up.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be the same person, you know
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: in my life. I'm older, and I think people will
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: just if they love you, they'll just stick with you
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: through every season, you know what I mean, no matter
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: how you change, and if they don't, they fall off
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: and you gain new supporters and fans and keep it going.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: How do you balance your family life being in the
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: public eye, Because I have had multiple public relationships and
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I have no interest in being in another public relationship
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: because of my experience being in public relationships in the past.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: And it's not necessarily because it was overall bad. I
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: just found that relationships are very hard. Yeah, any kind
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: of relationship, friendship, romantic relationship, being a mother, being a
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: business owner. But when you add the public's opinion and
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: thoughts and kind of that energy to it, it is
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: another challenge.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Like one of the things that I used to explain.
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  Speaker 1: To people is I would post a picture of being
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: my partner and then if I okay, so that starts
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: the clock. And then if I two weeks later I
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: post again, then the clock is every two weeks she
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: posts them.
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  Speaker 2: If I don't and I go three weeks because I
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: don't know, I had some other stuff to post. I
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: would have people that know me, like that are in
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: my life be like, oh, like, how are things? I
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: haven't seen him in a while, Like he's sitting next
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  Speaker 2: to me having breakfast.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: What do you mean it's Instagram? I'd like, what are
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: you talking about?
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  Speaker 2: But it's their clock because you that's that's the life,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Like you've you're you're public now.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, ever since I've been a relationship has just always
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: been public like ever since I met Terrell. We posted
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: each other on I think it was like Twitter or
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: something back in the day twenty ten, and we've just
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: always just I love Twitter, MySpace all the things, and
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: right when Instagram. I remember the day Instagram. I made
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: an Instagram and my first post I still have it
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: on my Instagram to this day, is just me and Terrell.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm always just it's just like I've always just
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: been public, so I don't know anything different. And when
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I first had my kids, I was like, Okay, I'm
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I'm going to show my kids. Like I never was
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: like scared, like or or that private to be like, oh,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to show my kids, you know, the
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: world my kids.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I never was like that.
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  Speaker 1: I post right when my baby popped out, I posted
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  Speaker 1: her Zoe.
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  Speaker 3: Like here's my baby.
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  Speaker 1: Like, I don't know, I've just I've just always been
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: really open and ready to like share myself, my relationship
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: and my family with the world. And it's kind of
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: hard because people are just very judgmental and people are
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: so nosy too, But I feel like I handle it
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: pretty well. I don't really mind or care, and Terrell
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: really helps me get through that too, because he just
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: is like he doesn't care what anybody thinks, and he's
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: kind of like implemented that into me, and he's just like,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: do what you want, do what you like, do what
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: you feel, and the people will you know, they'll fall,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: they'll do.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you does it ever trickle over into your
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: relationship because people do have a lot of opinions about
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: your relationship?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it never has until like recently, It never has
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: bothered me until like recently. I don't I don't know
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: why it's getten to me now, but I think it's
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: because we have a podcast. We've never like actually like
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: we have like a family YouTube channel and we post
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: each other on Instagram and stuff like that, but we
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: have like a relationship podcast, and I don't know, I
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: feel like it's really really personal and people are like
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: really interested now and they don't agree with like a
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: lot of things about our relationship. So it has kind
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: of gotten to me, just like negative comments and stuff
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: like that. But just now, like the last year.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, it does change when you start having like
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: the conversations if you can. And that's kind of what
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I'm saying about this podcast with me, is like, yeah,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: it's different and people think for some reason, unless I'm
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: saying I'm giving you advice, I'm not actually giving you
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: advice unless I explicitly.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: Say, let me give you some advice.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not telling you what to do with your life,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: like you should do what you want with your life.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: And you don't know me well enough and you haven't
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: had enough time to know me publicly, and I don't
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: know if you feel this way. Also to just like
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: to know the nuances of why I've made this decision, right.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: People only know what you put out there, so you know,
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  Speaker 1: they don't know what goes on inside your household or
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: your relationship, Like we're not putting our full relationship on there.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: This is one little topic, you know, and people don't
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: know our history. So I'm just like, I don't know.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: It's a mess, I get it.
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  Speaker 2: Do you think that the engagement is the thing that
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: people have the most opinion about?
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Why do you? Why do you think that is?
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: People are just they just want to know why we're not,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: like why I've been engaged for so long and why
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: we haven't actually like made it official. But we have
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: our own like personal reasons why we haven't made it official.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: In the beginning, like ever since I got engaged, because
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  Speaker 1: I got engaged in like two thousand and twelve and
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: then again in two thousand like seventeen or something like that,
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  Speaker 1: and there's just like reasons why we weren't able to
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  Speaker 1: do it at the time, and now we're just like
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: procrastinating a little bit. But yeah, I'm not really pressed
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  Speaker 1: to be married. I want it, but when the time
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  Speaker 1: is like right, you know, and I feel like I
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: kind of already am. You know. I have my family intact,
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  Speaker 1: like we're we're good, and like a piece of paper
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: is not really going to change much, you know.
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  Speaker 2: Do you do you see how people would react to
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: you saying that you want it and you are engaged
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: and have been engaged for a long time but haven't
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: done it. I don't feel that way, by the way,
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: but I'm saying, like, if someone I was listening to this,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: it would be like, well, you are married, you are
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: like kind of essentially married, you haven't engaged, you have
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: your family, and you're saying that you want it but
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: not doing it.
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  Speaker 3: So you're saying, what are you saying? Where do you ask?
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Like what do you think that?
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: That's like a like there are some critiques that are
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: like kind of out there. But if your guys are
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: talking about this publicly, someone might come to that conclusion
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: that you you actually don't want to be married.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, uh, I nowhere to go from this. Yeah, I
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: don't know. I think that's something that I probably would
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: actually have to figure out because I'm really not Like.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: It doesn't make me.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: It doesn't make me feel any different way if I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: was to get married today or if I was to
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: stay engaged with him, I still feel the same.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, I've been married and I've been was engaged
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: after I got divorced, and I don't want kids. So
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: for me, I'm constantly asked like if I would get
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: married again or if I want to get married, And
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I think the the paperwork is important if it means
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: something to you. If it doesn't mean something to you,
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: it's not important.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And like I don't know how the paper why the
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: paperwork important as far as just like financial.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I think, I think if it matters to you, it's important,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: and like that's what I'm saying, Like to me, I
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: would only get married if it made absolute like sense,
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Like we are planning on living out of the country,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: so we got to have all of our paperwork in
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: order or something like we have all this property together.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know, like it.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Just came down to it, like we're never getting divorced,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: so let's just get married and just make all this
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: paperwork easier.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Maybe that I don't want kids, so if I was
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: to have kids, I probably would feel differently about getting
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: married because I wouldn't have kids unless I was married.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: But I don't want kids, so I don't because this
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: mute point anyway, So it's just like this is a
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: fairy tale conversation for me.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I think that partnership is more important than marriage.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, same and I and I don't say that in
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: a way to deplete like the idea of family, but
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: a lot of people are married and don't have a
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: family exactly. And I think the building a partnership is
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: more important than that.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I think so too. And that's what we have.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: We have a really like we're like best friends, Like
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: we have a really good partnership. We have we have
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: everything that like a married couple will have. We have
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: businesses together, we own property together.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: So we might won't be made well, I mean, depending
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: on what stature and you might.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Legally, we definitely are like legal common law.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know, I think it's it's hard that
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: when you're in the public eye, people are going to
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: have opinions about that. And obviously marriage and relationships and
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: you guys have a relationship podcast that people are going
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: to have.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Opinions about it.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: That's it's it is the thing on the Internet to
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: have an opinion about is relationships.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: And I actually have a theory on that.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: It's because you know, everybody doesn't have opinions about politics.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Everyone doesn't necessarily even the politics affect everybody. Everyone doesn't
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: necessarily tap in. Everyone doesn't have deep feelings about history
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: or finances, or art or music or movies. Relationships are
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: something everyone on Earth experiences in their own way, whether
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: they never have relationships so they have opinions about it
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: because of that, or because they have a different relationship
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: every single week, whatever spectrum you're on, everyone has very
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: strong feelings about it. And I think that's why the
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: conversations one gets so toxic, but two that think it's
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: why it just has a choke hold on us.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I know everybody's the goal is to like find partnership
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: and love in life, like that's the whole goal in life.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean I think I found it. And
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I think that people are who people are that are
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: negative about it are just like haters a little bit.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's sort of That's another part
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: of the reason, Like the trade off of being in
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: a public relationship is that people feel an ownership over
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: your experience. Like sometimes we've talked about this before with
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: the make the Stallion Klay Thompson situation, which I still
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: am having conversations about. You could not believe it. People
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: still have opinions about this. I think it's circulated back
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: up again, didn't it. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: these people. I don't know them, Like, well, they're just people.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Attle just ask like, well, do you do think he
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: really cheated? Like you, I don't know these people. This
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: is not like I thought they were cute together. That
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: is the entirety of my opinion on their relationship. I
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: don't know these people. It asks me about people I
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: know personally, and I'll probably give you this answer, but
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: at least at least you know, I'll be lying to you,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: like what do I know about what's going what goes
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: on in their home?
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: Nothing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know if what she's saying is true. I
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: honestly do not care. It's not my business exactly, And
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: aspiring to be someone else's relationship is very weird, I think, yeah,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: because you don't know what goes on with them, and
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't take advice from everyone. Are you someone who
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: asks for advice in your relationship from a lot of people?
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: No, I don't ask anybody advice for anything when.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: It comes to relationships.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: When it comes to relationship, everybody knows about business.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Good. No, we had this, Me and HEYY had this
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: conversation a couple weeks ago, right about. I have a
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: thing with like my married friends where I don't want
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: to I don't want to know about your business.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Like if you want, if you.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Are one of my sisters and you come to me
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: and you want to share something with me, like I'm
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: all yours, I will listen to you, but I'm very
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: hesitant to give advice, especially any kind of permanent advice
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: unless you're being harmed, of course, but like that's not
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: been the case. So I like a marriage or a
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: partnership like yours, like that is not my I'm out
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: of married people's business.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The only person that I talked to about my
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: relationship is like maybe my mom when I'm having like
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: a really hard time, and I'll go to her. But
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: a lot actually a lot of my friends ever since
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: are like viral clip surfaced. My friends have like reached
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: out to me, and they never reach out to me
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: about my relationship ever, but they're just like they're kind
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: of like giving me advice and like their opinions and stuff,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I didn't for it, but you know,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: thanks for giving it, you know, giving it to me,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: and it makes me look at things differently, and I'm like, okay,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: maybe we should handle things differently. Like we're in front
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: of cameras now, like yeah, like I need this advice.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: And I don't know.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I'm an aquarius. I'm just like really to myself and
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I just do my own thing and I'm in my
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: own little world.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: But I do.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Appreciate the advice, but me to go ask and be like, hey,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: what do you think about me? And Terrell and like
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: are viral clue I'm not doing I'm not doing that.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Maybe I should wait, No, no.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think you should don't do that. I'm
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: gonna go and she's like, no, no, no, don't do that. No, no,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think that you should get a
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: lot of advice from people when you are married or
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: in like a very serious relationship. I think the more
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: people you get advice from on anything.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: The more voices go that go on in your head.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: And even if someone means well for you, yeah, they're
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: they're probably biased. They're probably inserting their own traumas and
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: experiences into the situation, and at the end of the day,
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: that's not their man.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. So I've seen.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: People walk away from their whole life and I'm like,
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: you are, like, do what you want to do. But
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I want you to know on the other side of
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: this is the streets and the streets are not for everybody.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Streets are not for everyone. The streets are not for me.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: You are not an ale cat. You're an inside catt.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: That pussy inside, Okay, there's the outside. Pussy is inside bussy.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: You are an inside pussy for sure. The pussy cat
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: stays inside inside. You like your milk, and you got
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: to You got fend for your own milk outside. You
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: don't want to be out there, trust me, it's it
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: can be fun. You're gonna have some experiences, but you
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: gotta fight for your own meals and you don't.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: That's it's not for everyone. Yeah. It really is tricky business,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And also when people know too much about your partner,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: they then start to have problems with your partner that.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: You don't have, Okay exactly because.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: There are there are ups and downs and reallyationships and
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: your forgiveness level that you have for your partners. Sometimes
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: your friends don't have that, yeah, or your family for
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: that matter.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: So you're doing the right thing, okay, do you?
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: So you're saying you were okay with the advice that
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: they gave you, Yeah, I was.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: Okay with it. I'm like, I feel like it was
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: good advice?
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Was it more advice along the lines of, like you
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: should be more guarded about what you guys share.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just be a little bit more cautious, like what
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: you guys are sharing in front of your camera, in
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: front of the cameras, and just making sure that you
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: guys are respectable of each other because it's got crazy,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: like and we've in the podcast space is like new
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: to us, Like the last four years we've been in
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: the podcast space and we have a good time, like
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: it's fun, like it's it's it's literally just us in
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: front of cameras having fun. We drink like, you know,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: so it's just like we're not like Polish and have
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: our you know, have our cards and our answers and everything. Right,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: it's just yeah, yeah, so it's like, ooh, maybe some
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: things should not be on camera, you know what I mean,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: because people don't people don't get it.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, It's it's hard. I mean I could see that
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: being really difficult.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm like, maybe we should not drink anymore.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: Maybe we should you know, like just bring it down
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: a little bit and well just to keep it fun.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: But the drinking thing, I don't know how how you
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: guys handle your liquor. I could not drink and be
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: on air. Yeah, I will get canceled.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Well because mostly mainly we were going live, like when
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: he started his podcast and stuff, so it was just live,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: like you couldn't cut anything. Our Relationship podcast. We still
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: do drink and stuff, but it's like, okay, we can
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: cut this, and you know, we kind of have a
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: little bit more control in that way. But some of
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: the podcasts that we were doing live and we were
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: just like drinking and stuff is just not good.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: It's not good at well, like you said, and learn.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: And that's kind of part of the journey of being
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: a public figure, like being in that space.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: What have you learned about yourself as a woman recently?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: What have I learned about myself as a woman recently?
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I've just been like given myself grace and just like
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I'm changing. I feel like I am thirty six, I
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: have three babies, businesses, and I feel like I never
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: really put myself first, and this point in my life,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like actually putting myself first. And I've learned so
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: many different things and I'm just like taking everything that
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I've learned and implement it into my life now and
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just like living my life. I feel like I'm
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: finally able to do what I want to do. I
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm actually like a grown up, you know
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: what I mean. It's just like I don't know how
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: to explain it. And I just love my life right now.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Like I've been hanging out with my friends and I
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: never used to do that, Like I've always just been
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: in the house with my kids or with Terrell or
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: trying to get myself back together because I went through
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of postpartum depression.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I had gained a lot of weight and.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Just like being a business owner and itself is just
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: hard to So I feel like I'm just free now
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like living my best life and I
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: love that for me.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Are you done with kids? I think so. I don't
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: want to.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I said I want one more. But Terrell's like, Heather,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I love this side of you. Like I started having
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: kids when I was twenty five years old. So I'm like, okay,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: maybe I'll be done. I have three beautiful kids, and
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: one just moved into her own room, so I kind
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: of have like my bed back for the first time,
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: me and Terrell in our bed because we've always had
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: kids in our bed.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: So He's like, I like this for us. So I'm like, okay,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: maybe I'll be done. If a baby does happen, it's
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: just going to be an accident.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: How was the experience of postpartum Did you feel supported
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: through that journey?
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Not really? No.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Terrell's like, well, as far as with Terrell, no, he didn't.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: He didn't understand postpartum. He was like, this is not real.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: When I told him, I'm like it is very real.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Something's happening, and I have to go, like see somebody
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: I have to go to like therapy or something. And
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: then he got on it. He started to support me.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: But my mom was like really there for me through
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: it all. She has four babies. But postpartum is hard
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and you can't do it by yourself.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: You can't.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: I mean a lot of the work is inside work
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: that you have to do by yourself. I remember I
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: would wake up every morning and like try to meditate
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: and like stretch and just like do different things, pray
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: in the morning before I started my day and just
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: different things like that. But I did need like therapy
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: to help me get through that, and somebody just watching
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: my baby. I had to like hire help. I didn't
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: have a nanny, so I was like, okay, let me
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: get that. And you can't do everything by yourself. Everything
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: does take it. It takes a village. But I think
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: that I can do everything alone. Yeah, yeah, I told her.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is very serious, like it's not
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: a game. Like I knew something was wrong with me,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: So you know what I mean, did you have it?
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: You had it with your youngest my second baby? Okay,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: mm hmm, so you had already had a baby in
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: the house when you were dealing with it.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Also, yeah, yeah, that's a lot. It's a lot.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: So and I knew it was serious, and I'm like,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: and it took me a long time to get out
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: of that, and then I don't think I was fully
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: out of it, and I got pregnant with my third baby,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Ooh, I don't know if I
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: want to do this because I'm not in a good
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: space right now. But my third baby helped me get through.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: She helped me get over well. The pregnancy was just
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: like super easy and the labor was like super easy,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: and when she came, I'm just like, it was so
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: worth it because I was in such a dark time
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: when I got pregnant with her. But then once I
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: had her and went through it all because I didn't
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: even want to have the baby, and I was telling
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: my mom, I was like, I'm pregnant, but I don't
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: know if I want to have this baby because I'm
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: still depressed as fuck. I'm like still overweight, like I
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: don't feel good about myself, Like I'm not in a
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: good space. And my mom's like every pregnancy is different.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Every labor is different. Have your baby, You'll be fine.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: And I feel like God just was like he knew
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I needed that baby, you know what I mean. He
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: knew I needed her, and she just came at the
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: most perfect timing and she was just she just made
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: such a positive impact in our life and every in
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: my whole family's life. It's like she's just like meant
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: to be here and I needed her. God knew I
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: needed her. So I'm happy I went through.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: With it and you didn't have any postpartum with her postpartum,
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: it's really fascinating, just like a woman's body and all
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: of the things that we go through. I mean, I
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: don't have any children, obviously, but I have fifteen nieces
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: and nephews, so I have seen well fourteen, but I'm
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: fifteen in a month. I've seen so many different pregnancy stories.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm so glad that more and more women are
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: talking about postpartum because I feel like a part of
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: our generation of women is that we don't shy away
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: from talking about the things that we experience. Like right now,
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: perimenopause is a big conversation and I am like talking
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: about it because I'm like, are.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: You doing with this too. I feel like a crazy.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Person because it was there's so much about like what
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: we go through as women that it is attached to shame.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Like they want us to have all these kids, they
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: want us to get married, they want us to make
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: these families, they want us to raise these families, but
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: they don't want to talk about any of the things
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: that are required of us physically, mentally, emotionally, firtually, to
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: financially to make this happened a lot.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: It's a lot. It's too much. And on top of
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: all that, you have another child and a partner.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as well, that's like we need you, yeah, relying
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: on you, you know, for for a lot. So that's
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: I'm really proud of you that you're that you're speaking
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: about that, because I think a lot of women feel
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: a lot of shame attached to those those experiences. They
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: feel kind of not like they've failed, but they are failing.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: And I feel like that in the midst of all
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: of it all. Yeah, especially as a mother, because you
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: have these expectations on you and not even just you
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: have expectations of yourself, like you have a tiny person
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: that doesn't speak English, who's relying on you like, who
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: needs to be there as as a parent?
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: How are you giving yourself grace lately? I'm just like,
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: roll with the punches. You live and you learn.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Just like everything is okay, Heathery're, oh, you know you
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: did this wrong. It's okay, Like because I used to
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: beat myself up, like any little mistake i'd make or
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: oh I did this wrong, or I wasn't there for this,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: or I wasn't there for that, and I'm just like
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: it's okay, Like I'll never forget. I was like, oh, mom,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I want to go on this vacation, but I don't
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: know if I want to go. My baby was like
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: four months or five months old or something. It was
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: my birthday. I was like, I'm gonna go on vacation
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: for my birthday, but I feel so bad because I'm
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: gonna leave my little baby. And my mom's like, go
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: go on your vacation. You need it, you deserve it.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: She was like, your baby won't even remember, Heather. She's
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: like she's only four months old, Like just go live
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: your life.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I needed that.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes you need that pushing reassurance. Yeah, you do,
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: for sure, but I do. I've been on vacations with
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: the mom moms and yeah, the mom go is real.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: It is so real. It is so real. But I'm like,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: as long as I disperse myself evenly, you know what
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, time for my kids, my businesses, my partner, myself.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm kind of selfish with myself right now.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: There's chapters and seasons where you have to do that.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: And it actually, I think when you get to a
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: certain space, like with motherhoods, certainly with business, and as
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: you grow as a woman, you realize how much you're
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: constantly pouring into other people, and then you realize the
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: crash of not pouring into yourself.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and how bad that is. Yeah, I felt that crazy.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I have because if you
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: don't pour into yourself, and if I'm like if I'm
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: not strong and I'm not mentally strong or healthy, and
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: I'm the queen of the house, you know, my kids
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: are looking up to me like everybody's like relying on
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: relying on mom and you know, Heather, So I have
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: to be strong and I have to take care of
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: myself else I'm not gonna be able to take care
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: of anybody in here. So Once I understood that, and
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: once I started like pouring into myself, everything around just
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: got so much better.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Do you feel more confident now then you did, say,
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: five or ten years ago?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, this is the most confident I've ever been in
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: my life. I think, where do you think that from?
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Comes from? Just through everything that I've went through, just
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: with majority of it is just with like how I
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: looked gain and weight, getting over postpartum, failing in business
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: or not failing, just like learning different things and.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Just online like judgment.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: You kind of just get strong out of nowhere, you know,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: you kind of just don't care anymore. And that's that's
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: where I'm at now. So yeah, I relate to that
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: very much.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I was talking to someone the other day about being
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: twenty again and I was like, no, thank you, fine, Like, yeah,
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I am so. My body is not what it was
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: when I was twenty.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: I used to care so much about what people felt
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: or thought about me. When I was in my twenties. Yeah,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I used to care so much, and I don't care
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: at all.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Now the older you get, I think it comes with
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: age two and just experiences you just don't care what
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: people think. And I feel like that's why I'm so
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: happy in my life.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just like you either love it or you don't.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Also, I think what you realize is everybody has their
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: you know, fifteen seconds to leave a comment or something.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: But they're worried about themselves. They're worried about their own life.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: They're paying their own bills, they're worried about their own
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: relationship problems. They're worried about their own you know, little
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: chunky pooch thing that they've got going on. They're not
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: really worried about you. You censor yourself in every conversation
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: when you're young, because you feel like the world is
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: looking at you, but they're just passing through. It's just
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: for a moment that they see you and then they're
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: on to the next thing, especially on the Internet, and
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: it's really empowering, especially as a woman, to really like
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: when you start to feel the power that you saw
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: and seeing other women when they get to that point,
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: it's like it's unexplainable and you can't. I want to
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: like just pour it into all all these little ones
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: like you got it, but they have to learn.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: On their own.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you do, no matter how much advice you get
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: or who you talk to. You have to learn on
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: your own. You have to live, you have to learn,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: and you have to That's so I say, I learned
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: my lessons, Like I learned my lessons and then I
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: just get better.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: I just get better with time. Yeah, we don't make
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: the same mistakes. No, you cannot.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: You cannot make the same mistakes. That's why it like
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: when you do that when you're younger, you can get
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: away with it.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: When you get a little older, those stakes are a little.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Bit more costly. Yeah, exactly, you can't you keep running
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: into those. So you talked about therapy. I am a
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: big therapy girl. Okay, I've been. My first experience with
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: therapy was probably when I was sixteen. I guess that
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: was court mandated, not because of anything I did. But
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: I've had like stints of therapy, and I've been with
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: my therapists now for.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: I think a years.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, And I've done a lot of work on myself.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: But what was your first entry into the therapy. It
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: was just the postpartum and that was the only therapy
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: I've done. But now I want to go back. I
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: was just talking about it yesterday. I'm like I'm going
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: to look up a therapist because I don't know, I
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: think I just need it. I don't that because I
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: don't talk to anybody about anything in my life. Really yeah,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just like really to myself. So I'm like, maybe
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I do need a therapist to like just inner work
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: for me. But yeah, the only time I ever went
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: to therapy was just to help me get through postpartum,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: and then I quit that, like I wasn't there long.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: I was not Therapy is really.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: It's it's kind of like picking it's picking a partner
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: in some ways. It's not as serious. Obviously you can
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: fire your therapists and don't have to worry about splitting
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: up assets. Yeah, but it is. It is a trial
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: and error process. It's a bit of dating. Like I've
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: had some therapists that I thought were really good for me,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: and I was like, whoa, they are totally enabling me. Yeah,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: they think I'm way too cool, Like they're you need
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: to tell me that this was wrong.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: I would I shouldn't have done that.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: So you really have to find someone that holds you accountable.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: I really wanted a black woman that was around my age.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I wanted someone that I didn't have to explain certain
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: things too.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: Like if if I was before I was.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: In that situation, I always felt like there was like
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: a gap in the conversation where I'd have to be like, So,
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: the reason that I feel this way is because in
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: this scenario, this is like I don't want to do that.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I want you to just at least understand and like
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: you're we're right here, and then we can go from there.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: And it's been transformative for me to be able to
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: just have those conversations. But yeah, therapy to me is
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: in different seasons, like I'll take breaks or I'll get
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: in different cadences like every two weeks or once a
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: month or every week if there's a lot going on.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: But I find it to be kind of like going
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: to the dentists or going to you know, the acupuncturists
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: or whatever it is it is that you do for
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: your maintenance. You know your mental health is and then
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: you know this having gone through postpartum is as important
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: to everything else that you do. Yeah, and if you
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: neglect it, terrible things can happen. Yeah, I definitely need
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: to find a therapist. I kind of recommendation for a
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: girl I would love that, you know, it's good. It's
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: good to have a little bounce just to dabble.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Did you do acupuncture a lot? I haven't gone yet.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I am going. Have you done it? Yeah? So I did.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: The first time I did accupuncture was when I had
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Bell's palsy and I found the best lady. Her name's
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Marine Coke and cheese and Calabassies, And it was my
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: first time doing it, and my whole face was like paralyzed.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: My whole right side of my face was pregnancy. Yeah,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I was after my second son, So I was going
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: through Bell's palsy and postpartum at the same time. Oh
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: my god, it was bad. But my whole right side
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: of my face was like paralyzed. And I tried everything
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: to like get my face back, and I'm like, I'm
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: just going to be living like this forever. I thought
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: my life was over. I'm like, oh my gosh, like
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: I'm never going to be able to do anything. Like
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: I couldn't sip out of a water bottle. I had
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: to take my eye and my mouth closed when I
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: went to sleep.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: It was crazy.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: So anyways, Marine cocaine and Calabasis she did my acupunture.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: She started doing acupuncture on my face and then it
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: wasn't working, and I'm like it's not working, and like,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I can keep paying you this,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm going to get your face back, Heather, Like,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I promise you. So then she started, she did the acupuncture,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: and then she hooked up like the electric things to it,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: and she got my face back and like probably like
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: two three months, my face was like back normal. And
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: she did such a good job. So then I started
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: going to her for like just regular acupuncture and just
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: for like stress or anything that I was going through.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: And I love it. Yeah, I need to go.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: It's been recommended to me by a bunch of people.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: I have a really bad job dealing with stress. Yeah,
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: I don't do well with it. I want to try it.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not against trying anything like that. I just
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: really need I need to schedule it, so maybe I Oh,
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: what's her name, Marine Cocaine, Marine Cocain. How do you
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: deal with the feeling of disappointing other people, like people
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: who who feel like they look up to you or
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: they're inspired by you and feel like you have let
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: them down?
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't deal with that good I don't. Like
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of a people pleaser. I want everybody to
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: be like happy, and I want to do like everything right.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: So I don't think I deal with that really good.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: But I don't think I've disappointed anybody. Yeah, I know
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I've disappointed people. I don't know they will either.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I think like just through the course of like being
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: a public figure, people have expectations of you. Yeah, that
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: they sometimes create, for the most of the time, create
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: for themselves, and they stop kind of looking at you
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: as a human who doesn't you know, who can make
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: mistakes or have missteps. And yeah, It's it's an interesting
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: feeling when it's not someone you disappointed personally, Like if
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: I let someone down in my life that I can
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: have a conversation with, it's a completely different emotion than
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: feeling that.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: And I think like.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Being a public figure, being a black woman, being being
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: someone who's a business owner and having being a mother
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: and having a partner and like representing all these things,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: sometimes people can kind of drum up their own expectations
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: of you.
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they can. I'm like, girl, I'm just a regular girl,
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: just like you.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: Like I'm trying my hardest, you know what, I mean like,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm doing.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: Really, we don't.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Nobody knows what they're doing, like you know, so it
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: helped they would give me grace. I hope I didn't
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: disappoint anybody. I want to be like the best, you know,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: person to look up to. If anybody is looking up
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: to me, I want to, you know, make sure that
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I'm doing everything right, but I'm learning as I go.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: What advice would you give to a young woman who
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: is thinking about being an entrepreneur.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I would just make sure that it is something that
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: you really enjoy doing. Don't get into anything that you
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: don't enjoy doing, and make sure that you stay consistent
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: and just make sure that you love it. But majority
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: most importantly stay consistent, I would say, because if you
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: don't stay consistent, because most people just want to start
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: a business and you know, make a quick dollar or
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: whatever the case, or just say because they have a
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: business or they're selling something, because everybody sells something, but
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: you really have to make sure that you believe in
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: it and that you love it, and that you stay
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: consistent and that you do towards something towards your business
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: every day.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: What's been your big biggest challenge as a businesswoman.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: My biggest challenge as a business woman is just probably
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: oh my god, there's so many. They're so many. It's
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: been so hard. Just like being self taught is the
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: biggest challenge. I would say, just like I didn't go
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: to school for anything that I'm doing, so I would
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: I'd have to learn everything on my own. I didn't
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: have like a financial advisor, I didn't have anything like that,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: but I would probably just say, like taxes and stuff
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: like that was like a really big challenge for me.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't know how important it was when I first
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: started my business, and I learned a whole lot, you know,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: without having anybody telling me like this is what you
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: have to do. And then further on into business, I
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: started getting like accountants and like people that can you know,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: give me financial advice and stuff like that. But that
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: was probably like my biggest challenge.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's such a journey being an entrepreneur.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: I mean I've had a business for I don't even
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: know now, like twelve years, maybe longer, and it's the
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: same like if you don't have a background in that,
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: you're just figuring it out and I've been grateful that
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: I've had people be able to give me some advice
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: along the way. And honestly, get a bookkeeper if you
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: could afford a bookkeeper, Like get a bookkeeper. Oh my god,
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: please get a bookkeeper, like get you, get you a
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: little quick books, and get a bookkeeper because of QuickBooks
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: the way, it's going to save you a headache.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: Child girl.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: I was, oh my god, I had got audited. I'll
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: never forget. I had got audited. And I didn't have
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: any of my stuff together, Like I didn't have any
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: of my records, like somebody else was running my website.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: This is like in the very beginning of my business,
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: like the probably like the first four or five years
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: into business, and I didn't have like anything from my website.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I didn't have any receipts. I wasn't keeping anything, and
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I was just a mess. Like when I got audited,
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: They're like, well, where are the you made all this money?
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Where is all the stuff at? And I'm like, oh
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: my god, I don't even know. I can't even you know,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: And I got fucked and because they were just like, Okay,
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: well this is what we think that you owe, and
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: this is what we're gonna put And I was like,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: so devastated.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I was devastated.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: And so after that I got my shits all the
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: way together, all the way together. I'm like, okay, yeah,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: QuickBooks account it all the things, receipts like the quick
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: books though, it's it's the best because you can put
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: your receipt in there, or your your link, your bank account,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: have all your transactions, add your receipts to there. Your
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: accountant goes in there and just takes care of everything. Yes,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: the best thing ever it is please please take keep
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: your receipts.
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: Like I wish I knew that in twenty twelve. Oh golly,
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: they just well let me not say anything.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Bad about the irs, but yeah, I hate yours.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I hate the irs.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, oh man, I feel you.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: What is this? What's this next chapter look like? For you?
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: You are a business woman, your mom, you so that
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: you're pouring into yourself. You have the podcast, Like, what's
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: what's the next dream for you?
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: The next dream for me is just being the best
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: that I can be.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of like I've always been like a like
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: an influencer, but I never really like actually focused on it.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I just was always one and I never knew, but
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: I was always so focused on my businesses and being
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: a business owner and running a business. I feel like
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: now I want to just be the best Heather that
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: I can be and really like tap into my influencer bag.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've done everything else because I really
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: enjoy it, you know, Like I love getting dressed, I
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: love doing my makeup and skincare and stuff like that,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: and I just want to be like the most confident
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Heather that I can be. And I wanted to shine through,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: like through my content and stuff like that. I love
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: doing content. So yeah, just free and being Heather and
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: just doing what I want and creating content and being
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: confident and you're.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Like an OG influencer. Yeah, it's changed a lot.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: It has changed a lot, and I kind of got
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: lost in the mix with everything that I was going through.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: So I finally feel like I'm like back on the
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: right track and I feel like confident in it. Because
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to be on camera. I stopped, like
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: doing my YouTube channel.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: I stopped.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I stopped like a lot of my influencer stuff that
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: I was doing that I didn't even know I was doing.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: To be in it. Why did you stop?
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Because I wasn't confident in myself and I was just
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: going through so much and I didn't really want to
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: share that with the world. But I'm like, Heather, that's
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: what the world wants to see. They want to see
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: the struggle, you know, they want to see the struggle.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: They want to see you get out of it. I
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: put a little bit out there, but I could have
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: put way more, but I just was like, not confident
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: in myself. I didn't want to always want to share
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: the good things, yeah, and never the bad things.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, I think it's.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Still important to be strategic about what bad things you share.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: And you know, you talked about your viral moment now
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: that that was a bad thing, but like you can
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: see how sharing certain things can not be met with
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: gratitude from the public, so to speak. Like, I I
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: think there's a realness and authenticity to sharing struggles, yeah,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: or failures as part of like your testimony or you know,
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: whatever we want to call it. But yeah, I'm very
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: cautious about that because I don't know that it's all
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: always rewarded. Like, yeah, I think people ask for that,
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: like like, oh, you know you only post your winds, like, yeah,
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: well when I post my failures, you guys shit on
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: my head exactly. Why would I why would I open
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: up about that? Like it's it's and you hold it
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: against me. You know, I've I've talked about being in
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: abusive relationships and for the most part it's been not met.
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: With positivity obviously, but like you.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: Know, it's it's been a part of my journey and
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: I think I've been able to help some people.
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's also something that is absolutely used against
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: me all the time.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's not hurtful.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: To me because these people are fucking idiots, but it
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: is something that is a part of the story. And yeah,
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: I mean I do wonder like I would like to
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: see like I love hearing not love hearing them really
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: sorry it happened to you, But I do like hearing
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: you talk about and be open about, you know, struggling
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: with your confidence and struggling with postpartum and struggling with
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: like wanting to be out there because yeah, people go
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: through those things.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like and I want to be relatable too, and
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I know people are probably going through the same thing.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: So you want to be able to help people. But
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: one time I was on the internet and I was like,
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I cried, and that was my first time ever crying
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: on the internet, and I was so relatable to so
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: many people, which made me happy because I thought people
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: were gonna be like, oh my god, this girl's crying
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: on the internet, like she just wants attention.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Da da da da.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: But I just felt like I needed to share it.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know why. I was just working out one
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: day and I just started crying and so many people like,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: it's on my TikTok, but so many people still comment
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: on that video and it was like three years ago,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like, wow, this video of me being
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: so vulnerable crying on the internet helped so many people
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: know and now they see me like out of it.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: So that's I'm like, okay, it is good to share,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: you know, the bad, the low points in life, so
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: people once you get out of there and once you grow,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: people can see the growth and see you overcome it
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: and that's awarding.
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what's been your favorite part of your career so far?
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: My favorite part of my career, Oh my gosh, I
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: don't know. I love every I love every step, every stage.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: Probably now my favorite part right now. I've been through
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: so much and I just feel like I'm my happiest
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: right now, probably because it's probably because I'm focused on
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: myself and like not like solely on a business. And
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I was so focused, like solely on a business and
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: how much money I was making and making sure that
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: I did everything right.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: And after my I had a flood.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: At Sorella, and after that, I feel like it was
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: just God telling me, like it's time to like switch
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: it up, because I would have never given up. Well
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: I never I didn't give it up Sorella at the time,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: but I just kind of like took a took my
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: foot off the gas a little bit. After that, everything
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: happened at my store, and running a store was just
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: a lot for me. It was just a lot. So
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: we just did online and I started I was able
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: to start another business. I started my nail business. It's
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: another thing that I was passionate about. And then Terrell
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: was able to start his podcast back on fig that
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: I was a part of too, And I feel like
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: it was just God saying like, this is a lot
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: right now for y'all. Yeah, and you can do other
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: things that you enjoyed too. So I'm going to I'm
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: gonna take you away from this right now, go build
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: these other things. And I feel like right now, I
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: built all those businesses, and now it's like I'm building myself,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: you know, and like pouring into myself and I can
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: go back to that whenever I want, and you know,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: put my foot on the gas whenever it's time to
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: do that.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: I think like leaning into the pivot is really important
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: and trusting your gut on that. Like I've found that
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: I'm going through a phase where I have to learn
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: to trust myself again. Yeah, And like there's a especially
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: in business, like there's chapters where you're like everything'shidden, everything's working,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: like we could, we could build a skyscraper, like can
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: do anything. Yeah, it's all working, and then something happens
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: and you're like, oh wait, like this was not we
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: have to find a new way, and like leaning into
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: the pivot and knowing when it's not like Okay, the
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: message is not rebuild a store, start over. The message
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: is try something different and being able to trust that
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: like that's what that's what's happening.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And that was really hard for me too, because
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Terrell's like, you just have to trust yourself.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: You're gonna make the right decision whatever you do. And
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I'm I'm not because I would have
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: done anything to like get that store back together, and
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: because I didn't have like the right insurance that I
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: was supposed to have, so I kind of like got
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: fucked out of that situation. But that's why I'm just
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: like it's God, and it's God's timing. And he was
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: telling me, like it's it's time, you know. And I
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: had just had my third baby, and I was like, Okay,
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: I'm going to trust myself to go build another business
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: or put my energy into something else, put my energy
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: into helping Terrell with his dream, because he helped me
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: so much, like with Cirella, Like I told him I
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: wanted to start a business, and he helped me do that,
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: and that business took off more than we expected and
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: it needed all hands on deck. Like my sister helped me,
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Terrell was there always helping me, and I feel like
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: he helped me like build my dream, and it was
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: time for him to like pour into his self too,
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: you know, and it was time for me to help
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: him build his dream, you know.
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: So I was able to do that, and I.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Was like, it's just it's just all God's timing, Like
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: everything's working out how it's supposed to how it's supposed
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: to work out. But at the time, I was so scared.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to make
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: the right decision. And Terrell told me, he's like, you
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: have to trust yourself. So when you said trust yourself,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it's important, and just listen.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: It's nice to have a partner that you can lean
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: on in those situations too.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: And he's like he's so supportive and he's so strong,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: and I need that because I'll like I'm like i'll
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: cry and you know, I'll doubt myself and I'll go
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: through those little phases and he's like completely opposite. He's
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: like super positive and confident and he instills that into me,
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: which is why I really really love him. People are like,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: why she with him? No, no, no, But it's just
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: like you don't know certain things. You don't know him
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: like I know him, you know, like he's crazy. He
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: has his own personality, you know, online and stuff. He
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: just doesn't give a fuck he just doesn't. But he
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: has like a soft side to him, and he has
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: really good qualities in him that I appreciate, and I
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: feel like that's why us as partners, like we go
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: together so well.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: So that's so sweet. Yeah, that's my money.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you have any moments of grief over the
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: past couple of years and dealing with postpartum and dealing
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: with shifting the business and so, you know, sometimes I
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm just like grieving old versions of myself
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: that I feel were kind of stolen from me through
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: like trauma and experiences.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like because I don't really like change,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: so I tried to just have everything the same and
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: I like to hold on to, you know, to how
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: things are going or whatever the case. But I've learned
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: that you just have to let go and you have
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: to grow and you're not always going to be the
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: same person. Not everything is going to be the same.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Things in life are going to change, and it's all
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: for the best. It's all for the better, it is.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: And it's like I think when you go through a
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: lot of things, especially all at once, and I'm like
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: adjusting to this as well, because I've gone through so
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: many life changes over the past two years that you
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: have to start writing what the story is like when
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: big things happen, it feels like a lot and you're like, Okay,
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know I'm supposed to do with all this,
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: And then the further you get away from it, then you.
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: Start to write the story of like what it means
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: for your future.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, And you just become a whole You just
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: become a different person after you like you just come
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: you shed that person and then you just become into
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: a new person. It's like, Dang, I was going through that.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Like when I look back at it and I'm like, Dang,
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I was actually looked like that or I felt like that.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: And when I look at my video crying, or I
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: look at my youtubes of having Bell's palsy or postpart
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: because I talked about it in spurts here and there,
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, Dang, I really got out of that,
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: and like I'm really a whole new person. And I
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: know five years from now, I'm going to be a
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: whole new person.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: It's just crazy. How does that work within your relationship?
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: Of like the changes that you guys go through because
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: you've been together for fifteen years. Yeah, I mean, you're
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: a different person than you were when you guys met,
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: and I'm sure he is as well. And that's me
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: I think is like the unspoken thing about long term
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: relationships that like people sort of ignores that you're really
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: choosing someone through every phase and every version of them,
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: which sun't be very.
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: Different than what it was when things started. Yeah, for sure.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: We've been talking about that a lot lately because I'm like,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: I'm just little certain things. I'm like, I'm not like
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: the nineteen year old Heather that you met, you know
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: what i mean, I'm a whole different woman now and
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: I require different things. So you have to do this
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: XYZ now that I never really cared yeah, four, five,
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: ten years ago. But I do think that he has
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: loved me through every phase of me. That's one thing
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: I will say. He's loved me through every phase of me.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: He's supported me, and he's stuck with me through my
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: worst times, which is why forever like give him so
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: much like praise, because people will leave when it gets hard,
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: people will leave, and he's never He's never left me.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: He's always been there for me. He's like my rock.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: He's like so supportive of me and really determined to
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: like help me get out of the rut and like
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: to the next step. So yeah, I really appreciate that
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: with him. What was the question there? Forgot the question
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: like loving someone through different phases, because like I think
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: about even just friends, like friends that I've had for
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: a really long time, and the different versions of them
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: that have existed like when we were kids, when we
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: were teenagers, or we were nineteen, or in our early
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: twenties or even early thirties, or when they were married
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: and now they divorced or like just all these different
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: types of versions of those kind of long term frenship
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: and then equating that to being in a long term partnership.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: It's just like you are choosing this person in all
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: of their different versions, and they are different versions. Like
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: I am a different person than I was when I
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: was nineteen.
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a different person.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: Like what I care about, what I think about, what
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: I talk about, where I go, what I eat, how
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: I work out, where I live, what kind of clothes
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: I wear out, do.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: My makeup or do my nails?
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: Always spend my money if I had money, Like, everything
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: about me is different.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Everything about me is different. Yeah, you do have to
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: just wake up and choose your person every day. Yep,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Like you have to wake up and choose that person
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: every single day and love them through every single phase.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: If you want that, if you want that, if you
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: want it, you know, if you don't want it, people
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: will get lazy. People are selfish. People don't care about
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: their partner or other people. They only care about themselves.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: So I feel like we both care about each other,
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: Like even if we're not together, Like I'll tell him
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: all the time, even if we're not together, I'm still
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: gonna love you the same. You know, I'm still gonna
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: love you the same. I'm still gonna want the best
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: for you. You're still always gonna be in my family.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: You've been in my life for fifteen years. Like I'm
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: not ever just gonna right. You know, you're my kid's dad.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: The thing that you said, I think that is the
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: most resident and is lost so much when we talk
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: about relationships, is that you have to choose that person. Yeah,
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: because the difference between because people talk about this a
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: lot when they talk about having kids and having a partner,
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Like you can give up your child for adoption, you
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: can leave you can be a deadbeat and leave whatever.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: You still have a child in the world. Yeah, okay,
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: you still can't say you're childless.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: Right, you have created an offspring.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, if we do a DNA tests, that belongs to you,
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: all right, you don't have to claim it, you don't
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: raise it, be in the same country, whatever, somewhere in
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: the world. You have an offspring. There's no way to
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: detach yourself from that existence.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: When you leave a.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: Partner or a marriage, you're no longer married, right, You're
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: no longer together. The commitment level that it takes to
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: have a long term relationship inherently means it's a choice.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: Like you can choose not to be a parent, but
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: you are still a parent, right that that is following
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: you around the world.
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: You choose not to participate or not. You have to
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: choose that.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: Person every day, every single day you wake up. I
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: choose to be with you. I choose to be with
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: you and you're mad. I choose to be with you
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: when you're annoying the fuck out of me. I choose
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: to be with you when you've done something horrible to me. Like,
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: there are all these different phases of that person, and
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: you are choosing. It's why when people talk to me
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: about marriage, I'm like, it's like why, Like, oh, like,
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: you know, what are your thoughts on marriage since you've
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: been divorced whatever, I'm like, listen, there are so many
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: things that I didn't know about marriage, about long term
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: commitment when I got married, that I wish that I knew.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: There's so many different things about myself that I wish
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: I knew. But the one thing is that it's not sexy.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: It's not fun to say, but the reality is you're
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: just choosing a person every day for the rest of
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: your life. Yeah, you're just waking up, I choose this person.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Let's go do life together.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. That's it.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: There's like there's a million other like looped loops you
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: can throw on it, right, But at the end of
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: the day, that's what it is.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: That's what it comes down to.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: Wake up, choose this person and go through life together
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: and make sure that you're happy. That's most important. But
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: sometimes you won't be happy, Like there are everything.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: There are seasons where you aren't happy and you're not
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: on the same page, you're not relating to each other,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: or you go through a little sex strout, or you
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: aren't feeling your best, or you're going through a health
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: situation that has to be dealt with, like, and it's
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: on both of you to know that there are going
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: to be phases of that. Like to your point about
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: people not sticking through it, I don't know.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: What the stat is. It's something ridiculous.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna butcher hey if you can look it up
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: for me. But the amount of men that leave their
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: partner when they get terminally ill, oh my god, like horrible, insane.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: I want to say it's like eighty percent or something.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: That is crazy. It's horrific. I would never yeah, of
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: course not. I like, that's what it. That's what the
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: commitment is.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you no longer can service me in any way,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: so there's no point in me being here, Like it's
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: it's just a horrifying idea.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: Excuse me? How can it be more than one hundred
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: percent oh more likely to.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you, specs, BA likely it's gonna happen six six
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: even married yet specs.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: You already think, what is it? Six hundred and percent
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: more likely? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's what present Maile.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: Partners are six hundred and twenty four percent more likely
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: to leave.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not making this a man woman conversation, but
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: my point really is that you have to spect.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: You're stupid. I already left my wife.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: It's about choosing the person through everything it is. Wait,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: what was your favorite part about being married?
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: My favorite part.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: About being married was feeling the feeling of having my partner,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: like knowing this is the journey we're going on, and
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: that feeling is very peaceful to me. I had a
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: very unstable childhood and like peace and security and safety
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: are some of my top priorities in any relationship in
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: my life and any version family, friends, business, romantic, and
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: like just knowing that that was that was like a
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: safe space.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: That was mine was really important.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think like if I was to get
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: married again, which I'm not against, but it's not something
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: I'm aspiring to. Really, peace is the most important thing
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: to me in my life. I at this point in
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: my life, like I don't care about anything else. If
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: you just stop my peace and anywhere you gotta go, yeah,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: I can't handle it. I have no patience. So peace
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: and would be the priority. But also if I was
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: to get married again, I really would just have all
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: of the conversations, Like you know, I'm thirty nine, so
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: it's like a little different. I'm not entering into marriage
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: for the same reasons as someone who would at They're
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: at a younger age, So like we have to have
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: the hard conversations, not that that's going to alter anything,
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: but like we got to know what we're getting into
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: right now, Like there's no reason we should be married
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: and being like, oh.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: You don't have a bank account, Yeah, that's what we're
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: not doing that.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm not going on some whirlwind romance to get
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: married in Vegas. Like those days, miss you missed the window.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: Those days are behind me. Yeah, so that those things
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: the priorities for me. I've completely changed and I know
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: myself better. I know my weakness is better, and I
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: think just like as a woman, I really enjoyed through
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: my thirties making the mistakes that I've made and which
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: I didn't do in my twenties. I made a fuck
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: ton of mistakes in my twenties, but I didn't learn
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: from any of them, And thirties to me was like
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: applying the learned lessons, like you said earlier, like not
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: making the same mistakes, being accountable to myself, being accountable
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: to others, knowing what my boundaries are, like the biggest
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: thing in therapy. I went in day one like, look,
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: we got a lot of cover girl, But the main
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: thing that I know I am terrible at is boundaries.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: Like I need to build that muscle. It is completely dormant,
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: it's never existed. I need boundaries. I don't know how
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: to enforce them. Please teach me how So, Like things
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: like that have been great throughout my thirties and I'm
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: just looking forward to in my forties really building on
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: the confidence and you know all the things that you're saying,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: you're experiencing now where just you really start to come
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: into your own in a different way. Yeah, Like you
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: have a look at yourself as the picture of yourself
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: like in your twenties, you're like, wow, yeah, what was
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: I doing?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: Yes? Oh my god, so many Oh my.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: God, I need throwback pictures. No throwback pictures. Oh you
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: guys are not seeing this with me?
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: Please? Oh my god. What it's okay, it's that part
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: of the growth. I don't want them. I don't want
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: any evidence in that chapter. I used to wear purple contacts.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, purple contacts. I'll give you one.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: I'll give you one more. I dated a man that
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: wore purple contacts. Oh wow, that's crazy. From the hair store.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: Oh no, oh no, that's a little crazy, joy, a
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 3: little crazy. I bought contacts.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: I went to my eyeballs from the same place that
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: I bought my weeds.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I remember those days. Crazy. I had
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: all the colors. I had green amber. I've heard contacts again.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 3: Now though, you wearing color contacts again. Now, the color
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: contacts are not the problem.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: It's the fact that they were purple, or that they
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: were purchased from the hairstore.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 3: And I had no fear of putting them bitches in
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: my eyeball. That is funny. If that ruined my eyeball,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: it was cooks.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: What am I gonna do. I'm gonna go down the
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: hair store and complain. I'm supposed to get those from
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: a doctor.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I have a crazy story.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I so I just started wearing the color contacts again,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: and I got faded one night and I came home
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: and I guess I took my contacts out, but I
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: didn't know I took one out, went to sleep. Woke
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: up the next morning, I couldn't open my eyes, and
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the hell is going on? Like, oh
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: my god, I think I'm blind. Like that's how bad
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: it was, That's how much I couldn't see. So Terrelle
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: rushed me to an eye doctor and I was like,
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like I think my contact is like
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: lost in my eye or something. And so I was
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: watching my cameras in my room and I'm like, I
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: have to figure out what I did when I got home.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: So I was in the mirror and I took one
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: contact out, but I scratched my eye because I have
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: these extra long nails. So He's like, you have a
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: big scratch on your eye. He was like, it's very,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: very painful when you scratch your eye.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: But I was so faded. I'm like at home, like
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: trying to get my contacts out.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: And he was like, let's not wear these contacts anymore
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: unless they're prescribed to you, because this is not safe
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: Heather, Okay, I was like, ah, okay, let's just wear
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: them on cuty night. Yeah. Cut not exactly, not the
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: get lit exactly. That's terrifying.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was crazy things scare me like I I
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: can do contacts, but yeah, I will not be wearing
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: them from I don't recommend you buying them from the hairstore,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: like you can get a lot of things from hairstorre
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: very useful.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: Anything he goes in your eyeball.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: Do not recommend He did get a tattoo of my
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: name though, Okay, one of two.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: So two guys got you tatted.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: I that's am I lying about that. I feel like
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: that's right. I feel like there was another one. I
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: think there was another one. I can't remember, but there's
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: definitely one. Un stressed. I did not tell him to
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: do this. I told him should have had his snickers.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: It was not a good idea.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: Terrell has my name tatted on his face. Girl, you
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: have three children together, of course he hasn't your name.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: Do you know he got out of my face before
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: we had kids?
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: Oh well maybe when I was pregnant with Zoe, actually
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: my first one.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look, you don't have his name on your face? No, no,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't know this where right?
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, do you have any guys tattoed?
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: No? Oh God, God forbid, Oh my god, recommend I've
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: never been close.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: No, I mean, do what you want. I actually think
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: it's really.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: Cute when you get the little initials. Yeah, that's cute
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: on the thing, Like, I think that's very cute or
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: like a little sign or something on your ring fingers
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: or whatever, like I think Sunday and Tom's are really cute,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: like she has like the little tea.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: Well. I made the mistake of getting Terrell's old Instagram
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: name tatted on me. His old changed the name, I know,
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: but it was like, what are we doing? It was
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: a phase in his life. He's like, I can't be.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: It was when he was like with Tiger and stuff,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: and they had the whole last King's brand and stuff,
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: so their names were King like King Trail, Tiger whatever,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: King Tiger on Instagram, And I got King Trail big
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: here right here, so you can see it when I
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: wear crab tops or swimsuits or and I'm like, this
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: is getting lasered off because this is something that I
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: did in my twenties like an idiot, and.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 3: I just don't want it.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: It's not that I don't want his name on me,
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: it's just it's his Instagram.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: It's old Instagram name.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: And he has to keep it. He had he had
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: to keep the name. It's crazy.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm on your side. That's crazy. That's crazy
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: that he does he not want you to get it
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: laser off. No, He's like, yeah, I get it lazer Okay,
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: likes changed the name. I know. Yeah, no I could not.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: I've It's not that I'm actually even really against it
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: at this point because if I was to get married,
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: like why not. Also, tattoos can get removed, so it's
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: not that big of a deal. Like and you're like,
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: when I was like nineteen, getting a tattoo is like
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: the rest of your life. Yeah, I've almost I almost
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: got my entire back done that once though.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: Oh god, it was a phase.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: Like I was very close, like everyone was getting full
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: back tattoos.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: It was, but it's painful. I'm like, why did I
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 3: even do that? Yeah?
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: I made a lot better choices than I made a
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: lot worse choices, but not permanently.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: On my body.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming down, Thank you for
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: being on the show. Make sure you follow Heather Sanders.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: Follow Money for Nails so RelA boutique and official safe
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: to say thank you and make sure you check out
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: their show. And thank you for being so open and
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: vulnerable about everything.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: Thank you. So great to have me. You feel so comfortable.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: Oh I love that. Thank you, and you like match?
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 3: The set coordinated. Thank you. It's so nice here. Thank you.