Latest / The You Project / #1644 Me and Food - Harps

Transcript

#1644 Me and Food - Harps · The You Project

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Speaker 1: I got a team. I hope you're bloody to ripfiic. Now,
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Speaker 1: if you're like me, you have an interesting background with food.
0:12
Speaker 1: You you if you're like me, then you've had an
0:15
Speaker 1: on and again off again peaks and troughs, tumultuous, sometimes glorious,
0:23
Speaker 1: sometimes toxic, sometimes ridiculous relationship with food. And so I've
0:32
Speaker 1: spoken many times on this show about the fact that
0:39
Speaker 1: food's always been my biggest challenge, and I can happily
0:45
Speaker 1: say that for the last I guess twenty twenty five
0:50
Speaker 1: years it's and I have had a much healthier relationship.
0:57
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like, and this might sound melodramatic,
1:00
Speaker 1: but for me, food was for a very long time
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Speaker 1: my emotional support system. It was something that I medicated
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Speaker 1: with in not a good way. It was something that
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Speaker 1: I distracted myself with, that I numbed out with. Food
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Speaker 1: was something that for me was a source of joy
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Speaker 1: and dopamine and instant gratification and all of that stuff.
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Speaker 1: Of course, we all need food, of course, and that's
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Speaker 1: one of the challenges when you are kind of somewhere
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Speaker 1: in the ballpark of a food addiction or a food obsession,
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Speaker 1: which I definitely was. People think or you would automatically think,
1:53
Speaker 1: I guess that getting off booze or getting off drugs
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Speaker 1: would be much harder. And while I'm not saying that
2:02
Speaker 1: getting off booze and certainly some drugs is incredibly hard,
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Speaker 1: but the difference between booze and drugs is we don't
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Speaker 1: have to have booze or drugs those kinds of drugs
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Speaker 1: anyway in our life to survive, whereas we can't give
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Speaker 1: up eating. We need to eat. And so it's really
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Speaker 1: about it's not about giving up food. It's about changing
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Speaker 1: the nature of the relationship with food. It's about changing
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Speaker 1: for me, it was about changing how I thought and
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Speaker 1: socialized and chose and behaved and operated around food, the
2:36
Speaker 1: way that I the way that I organized my days
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Speaker 1: around food, the way that I obsessed about food and
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Speaker 1: all of that stuff. And that was maybe maybe I've
2:47
Speaker 1: never thought of this till right now, but maybe maybe
2:51
Speaker 1: part of that was because I didn't drink and I
2:56
Speaker 1: didn't you know, I didn't use drugs. I've never had
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Speaker 1: recreational drugs, and so I didn't do any of those
3:03
Speaker 1: state altering, mind altering, emotional system altering things that you
3:10
Speaker 1: could basically push the button on that and I could
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Speaker 1: take a drug or take a drink, and within a
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Speaker 1: short period of time, I'd be in something of an
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Speaker 1: altered state and the anxiety would go and the feelings
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Speaker 1: of euphoria would come, and then I'd be in that
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Speaker 1: state for as long as that drug, be that alcohol
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Speaker 1: or another drug, as long as that drug kind of
3:31
Speaker 1: stayed in my system. And I guess for me, you know,
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Speaker 1: food was like that a little bit, and you know,
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Speaker 1: growing up it was my drug of choice. And I
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Speaker 1: think also for me, there was a lot of this
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Speaker 1: is just me thinking out loud. I have not planned this,
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Speaker 1: definitely not this part anyway. But for me, there was
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Speaker 1: a lot of because I ate my way to be
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Speaker 1: the fat es kit at my school, and I ate
4:00
Speaker 1: my way into the you know, the title of Jumbo
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Speaker 1: or the name of Jumbo. I think for me, there
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Speaker 1: was a lot of guilt, and there was a lot
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Speaker 1: of embarrassment, and there was a lot of shame around
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Speaker 1: my eating and how much I ate and the way
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Speaker 1: I ate, And of course there was a lot of
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Speaker 1: embarrassment and shame around how I looked and my weight.
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Speaker 1: And so you know, for a lot of you, this
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Speaker 1: won't be or For some of you this won't be
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Speaker 1: relevant at all, so see tomorrow should you feel compelled
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Speaker 1: to come back tomorrow. But for some of you, what
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Speaker 1: I'm saying will resonate. And So, while I always found
4:44
Speaker 1: it relatively easy to exercise, and I found it relatively
4:49
Speaker 1: easy to do a lot of a lot of the
4:53
Speaker 1: not so comfortable things that success demanded, it took until
5:00
Speaker 1: I was in my mid thirties, so twenty five years ago.
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Speaker 1: But still, you know, the majority of the first half
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Speaker 1: of my life, definitely, the majority of my first first
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Speaker 1: half of my life was food was me and food
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Speaker 1: were problematic. And I think because for a very long time,
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Speaker 1: I was because of the guilt, because of the shame,
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Speaker 1: because of all of that stuff. I was publicly doing
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Speaker 1: one thing and privately doing another. And I and I think,
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Speaker 1: you know, like it's probably really only the last five
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Speaker 1: years where I've opened up to the level that i'm
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Speaker 1: currently you know, I would think, I think pretty transparent
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Speaker 1: around all of it. And it's funny how when you
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Speaker 1: talk me, despite the guilt and the shame and the embarrassment,
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Speaker 1: and despite the fact that I was I was a
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Speaker 1: well known, high profile fitness professional who owned multiple gyms,
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Speaker 1: who was training lots of people, working with the lead athletes,
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Speaker 1: writing for newspapers, and doing and at the same time
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Speaker 1: not doing the thing or the things that I would
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Speaker 1: tell other people to do. In other words, I was
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Speaker 1: living out of alignment. I was talking to people about
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Speaker 1: health and wellness and decision making and optimal food and
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Speaker 1: optimal excise and sleep. And in the middle of all
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Speaker 1: of that, I was doing things which were completely inconsistent
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Speaker 1: with the message that I was putting into the world.
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Speaker 1: And so it haints me to say, but in that sense,
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Speaker 1: I was a fraud. I didn't want to be a fraud.
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Speaker 1: It was my intention, but I was, I guess, publicly
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Speaker 1: pretending to, you know, be a certain way, but when
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Speaker 1: no one was looking, I wasn't that. And while I
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Speaker 1: can gladly own that now, or I can comfortably I
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Speaker 1: guess own that now, I'm pretty sure that there are
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Speaker 1: a few people listening to this right now that maybe
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Speaker 1: have been or are in a similar boat, if not
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Speaker 1: all the time, then then periodically. And I just think that,
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Speaker 1: you know, there can be you know, because food is
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Speaker 1: such a multi dimensional kind of a thing. You know,
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Speaker 1: of course, there's the biological, the physiological, and there's the psychological,
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Speaker 1: the relationship we have with food, and there's all the
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Speaker 1: emotional stuff around food. You know, there's all the habits
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Speaker 1: that we have, the you know, the behavior that the sociological,
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Speaker 1: the way that we eat when we're around other people,
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Speaker 1: what we do in public, what we do in private,
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Speaker 1: and you know, it doesn't even come down to really knowledge,
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Speaker 1: like we knowledge is an issue. But you know, like
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Speaker 1: for example, the average person who the average person who's
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Speaker 1: overweight or over fats, that is, they're carrying more fat
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Speaker 1: or more body weight than they want to. And one
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Speaker 1: of their you know, if you talk to them, they
8:10
Speaker 1: really don't want to look or feel or weigh or
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Speaker 1: function the way that they currently do. But on the
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Speaker 1: same day that they might own up to that or
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Speaker 1: tell you that, it could also be the same day
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Speaker 1: that they go and put stuff in their body which
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Speaker 1: is at complete odds with their goal or their health value.
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Speaker 1: And I've been that person too. And so this once again,
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Speaker 1: as I always say, this is not about self loathing.
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Speaker 1: This is about self awareness, This is about self reflection.
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Speaker 1: This is about owning up and stepping up, you know,
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Speaker 1: to acknowledge that I know that I don't have a
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Speaker 1: great relationship with food. That is a that is a
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Speaker 1: tough thing to put your hand up for. I know
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Speaker 1: that I make decisions around food in relation to food,
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Speaker 1: and I do things with food that are inconsistent with
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Speaker 1: how I say I want to be. I eat too
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Speaker 1: much sugar, or I eat too much processed food, or
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Speaker 1: I eat really high quality food, but I just eat
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Speaker 1: fifty percent more calories than I need on a given day.
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Speaker 1: I don't listen to my body. I don't honor my body. Remember,
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Speaker 1: your body is a biofeedback system. It's always telling you
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Speaker 1: something and talking to you and informing you because your
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Speaker 1: body is fucking brilliant. But you and me, the owner
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Speaker 1: operators of said bodies. Sometimes you and I are fucking
9:43
Speaker 1: idiots because we do stuff to our body, not for
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Speaker 1: our body, to our body, which is actually unintelligent and
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Speaker 1: at times toxic and destructive, because because it gives us
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Speaker 1: momentary joy, putting that piece of whatever it is in
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Speaker 1: the body that makes us feel momentarily good, because it
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Speaker 1: pushes the dopamine button. We love dopamine because it's feel good.
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Speaker 1: And I've been feeling shit and I'm a bit sad
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Speaker 1: or i'm a bit anxious, or I'm a bit flat,
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Speaker 1: or i'm a bit worried, and I know that I
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Speaker 1: can just press that button and I'm going to get
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Speaker 1: this response. So I'll press the button and I'll start tomorrow,
10:28
Speaker 1: because I'm always starting tomorrow. And the amount of people
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Speaker 1: that I've spoken to over the years who want to
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Speaker 1: change their body, who want to change their diet, who
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Speaker 1: recognize and realize that what they're doing is not currently working.
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Speaker 1: But no matter when I talk to them today, this day,
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Speaker 1: the day that we're talking is never the day. It's
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Speaker 1: always going to be soon, often tomorrow, often Monday, of course,
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Speaker 1: Monday being the global stuff starting day. The day where
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Speaker 1: all lives transform, of course is Monday, not Tuesday. It's
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Speaker 1: a day too late, and Sunday's ridiculous, and Friday, we
11:09
Speaker 1: don't even fucking start with Friday. It's got to be Monday,
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Speaker 1: or as I've said to many of you before, it's
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Speaker 1: got to be January one, which is the international of course,
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Speaker 1: that is the standout transform you're thinking, habits, behaviors and
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Speaker 1: outcomes day. January one, the day where all lives change forever.
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Speaker 1: And of course I'm being facetious but all this is
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Speaker 1: just self delusion. This is you and me telling our
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Speaker 1: selves stories. This is rationalizing, justifying, because the thing that
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Speaker 1: we need to do quite often with our body for
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Speaker 1: our health, with our habits, be that whatever exercise or
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Speaker 1: booze or food in this case food, the thing that
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Speaker 1: we need to do, which is own up and step
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Speaker 1: up and reduce all that pleasure giving sugar and salt
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Speaker 1: and excess calories. The thing that we need to do
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Speaker 1: is not fun, quick, easy, or painless. So there's this
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Speaker 1: period of time between where we are now with our
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Speaker 1: eating habits and our current operating system. There's a period
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Speaker 1: of time and a period of pain and discomfort and
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Speaker 1: inconvenience that we need to go through where we're not
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Speaker 1: pushing the dopamine button and we're just letting our body
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Speaker 1: and our mind to an extent adapt and adjust to
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Speaker 1: this new operating system. And so the question to ask
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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of this is does my
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Speaker 1: current operating system with food? In other words, the way
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Speaker 1: that I typically inverted commas do food, the type of
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Speaker 1: food that I eat, the amount of food that I eat,
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Speaker 1: the way that I socialize with food, the way that
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Speaker 1: I make decisions around food, the way that the things
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Speaker 1: that I buy to put in my pantry, the things
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Speaker 1: that I buy to put in my fridge. I was
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Speaker 1: talking to someone recently who was telling me about how
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Speaker 1: they can't give up chocolate, and they just they you know,
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Speaker 1: they try to restrain and refrain, and they want to
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Speaker 1: give up chocolate or at least reduce chocolate. And when
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Speaker 1: I suggested that maybe a good starting point was not
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Speaker 1: to buy it, not to put it in the fridge,
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Speaker 1: not to put it in the cupboard, not to have
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Speaker 1: it in the house, and then the next time at
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Speaker 1: ten thirty at night, when you reach for the chocolate,
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Speaker 1: there's no fucking chocolate. It's hard to eat something that
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Speaker 1: you don't have, right, And so you can't seriously say
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Speaker 1: I'm going to give up chocolate or I'm serious about
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Speaker 1: giving up chocolate or reducing chocolate. By the way, now
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Speaker 1: I'm at the supermarket buying all the chocolate market and
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Speaker 1: this is I know this sounds kind of almost unnecessarily
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Speaker 1: simple and stupid to talk about, but if there's one
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Speaker 1: thing I've seen smart people behave stupidly around, it's food.
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Speaker 1: People that I know that are highly intelligent, very educated,
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Speaker 1: very informed people doing stupid shit with food and doing
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Speaker 1: stupid shit to their body by constantly abusing food and
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Speaker 1: ending up over the medium to long term in a
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Speaker 1: body that they don't enjoy being in. And I'm not
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Speaker 1: talking about I'm not fat shaming. I'm just talking about health.
14:58
Speaker 1: I'm talking about wellness, I'm talking about energy levels, I'm
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Speaker 1: talking about heart disease, I'm talking about diabetes. I'm talking
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Speaker 1: about all of the myriad of consequences or potential consequences
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Speaker 1: that can come from eating a shit diet consistently for
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Speaker 1: a long time. And we know that if we don't know,
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Speaker 1: we're about to know. We know that people often make
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Speaker 1: significant health decisions like life really like actual life changing
15:36
Speaker 1: decisions when something breaks, as in they have a heart attack,
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Speaker 1: or they get diagnosed with diabetes, or they have some
15:49
Speaker 1: kind of medical clinical drama, or or they get scared
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Speaker 1: or they get scared so something bad happens or they're
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Speaker 1: scared that something bad is going to happen. And so
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Speaker 1: we call that reactive health management, not proactive. So if
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Speaker 1: you are currently in a body that is not optimal,
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Speaker 1: and again there's no judgment in this, there's no self loathing.
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Speaker 1: There's just honesty. There's just self awareness. You can't go
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Speaker 1: and get a new body. The one you've got is
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Speaker 1: the only one. You can't replace it. You can only
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Speaker 1: do better things with it. And everything that you've done
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Speaker 1: or not done to your body or for your body
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Speaker 1: up until this moment in time, as you listen to this,
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Speaker 1: none of that can be changed. But what we can
16:39
Speaker 1: do is we can start to behave differently now so
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Speaker 1: that some obviously we can't change past behaviors, but in
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Speaker 1: the present we might be able to change some of
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Speaker 1: the consequences or outcomes of those past behaviors by embracing
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Speaker 1: new thinking and new behaviors That will require a level
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Speaker 1: of awareness and consciousness and courage and decision making and
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Speaker 1: self control and discipline that maybe you haven't embraced to
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Speaker 1: this point in time. Sometimes the things that we need
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Speaker 1: to do are not the things that we want to do.
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Speaker 1: For me, it's always been about It's always been about
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Speaker 1: for myself and the people that I work with. Let
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Speaker 1: me say, it's mostly been about learning how to love
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Speaker 1: our body with food, and by that I mean treat
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Speaker 1: our body, treat my body, treat your body in a
17:52
Speaker 1: loving way. In relation to how we feed it and
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Speaker 1: nourish it. I am eating food that will make my
18:00
Speaker 1: body work better. So conscious eating might look something like,
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Speaker 1: I will not eat food I don't need. I will
18:15
Speaker 1: not reward myself or motivate myself with food. Conscious eating
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Speaker 1: might look like I will not use food to escape
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Speaker 1: reality or to numb out. Conscious eating might look like
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Speaker 1: I will not allow situations or circumstances or other people
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Speaker 1: to influence or dictate the way I eat. I will
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Speaker 1: not rationalize or justify unhealthy the eating. I will not
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Speaker 1: lie to myself or others. I did that for a
19:08
Speaker 1: long time about my eating behaviors. I will walk my talk,
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Speaker 1: and this next one for me was a big one.
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Speaker 1: I will not eat in secret. I used to do
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Speaker 1: so much secret eating because I didn't want people to
19:25
Speaker 1: know what was actually going on, because you know, I
19:27
Speaker 1: had a brand, I had an ego, I had a reputation,
19:31
Speaker 1: and I was craigging the gym owner. And while while
19:33
Speaker 1: people were looking, I was doing one thing. I was
19:35
Speaker 1: ticking the box. I was meeting their expectations. And then
19:40
Speaker 1: when people were looking the other way, I was doing
19:42
Speaker 1: bullshit to my body. And I'm not proud of this.
19:44
Speaker 1: I don't like actually sharing it with you, but it's true,
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Speaker 1: and so I can beat myself up, which I'm not.
19:52
Speaker 1: I can just say I did some really dumb shit
19:55
Speaker 1: for a really long time to my body. I made
19:57
Speaker 1: poor choices, I embraced bad behaviors, I created bad outcomes,
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Speaker 1: and it's nobody's fault except me. I'm not beating myself up.
20:08
Speaker 1: I'm just owning it. I continuing on this conscious eating conversation,
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Speaker 1: I will not look for approval or a round of
20:22
Speaker 1: applause or accolades for eating well. One of the things
20:29
Speaker 1: that I find hilarious is grown ups, adult humans posting
20:35
Speaker 1: a picture of a healthy meal that they're eating so
20:39
Speaker 1: that people will tell them how great they are. And
20:45
Speaker 1: if you don't think that that's what most people are doing,
20:47
Speaker 1: you don't really know what's going on. Because we all
20:50
Speaker 1: know what a fucking healthy meal looks like. We don't
20:53
Speaker 1: need a picture of your lunch or your breakfast. And
20:57
Speaker 1: it's the problem with this is when we constantly need
21:01
Speaker 1: approval or accolades or a cheer squad or a pat
21:05
Speaker 1: on the back for just doing something which is the
21:08
Speaker 1: right thing. Now, we just create a new addiction. Look
21:13
Speaker 1: at me, syndrome. Look at me. Look how good I am.
21:16
Speaker 1: Look how well I'm eeting. Look how lean I'm getting.
21:19
Speaker 1: Look at what I'm doing, Look at my behavior. Look
21:22
Speaker 1: how disciplined I am. It's bullshit. You don't need it.
21:27
Speaker 1: You maybe wanted, but that's your ego, that's your self doubt,
21:30
Speaker 1: that's your insecurity. Trust me when I tell you that. Firstly,
21:37
Speaker 1: if people do support you, will give you or compliment
21:41
Speaker 1: you cool. You know that's incidental. Great, but don't go
21:45
Speaker 1: searching for that. Don't go seeking validation and approval all
21:50
Speaker 1: the time, because if you can't function without that, then
21:55
Speaker 1: you're always going to revert to that operating system that
21:58
Speaker 1: doesn't work. What you do when no one's looking tells
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Speaker 1: me who you are. It tells me about whether or
22:07
Speaker 1: not you're actually really on the path, really changing. Here's
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Speaker 1: another one, conscious eating. I will not continue the stop
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Speaker 1: start cycle, on again, off again, good, bad, of healthy
22:24
Speaker 1: and unhealthy eating. I will stop getting on and off
22:28
Speaker 1: the weight loss roller coaster. I will not binge and
22:35
Speaker 1: then eat well. I will not binge and then eat
22:38
Speaker 1: well and then eat fucking nothing and then binge again.
22:44
Speaker 1: The reason that my first book was all about this
22:49
Speaker 1: this stuff I'm talking about is because I realized that
22:57
Speaker 1: for me to change my body and keep changed, and
23:00
Speaker 1: for me to help other people to change their body fitter, stronger, leaner, lighter, healthier,
23:06
Speaker 1: less pain, love blood pressure, better performance, run faster, jump, hire, lift, heavier, whatever,
23:12
Speaker 1: whatever the physiological transform transformation was, I knew that that
23:20
Speaker 1: was first and foremost about helping people psychologically and emotionally
23:26
Speaker 1: get to where they needed to get to create the
23:30
Speaker 1: physical change. And it's almost like the physical outcome is
23:34
Speaker 1: really just the byproduct of what's happening in emotionally and psychologically.
23:38
Speaker 1: And so too with food, getting our food right, getting
23:43
Speaker 1: our diet right, getting our nutritional protocol rights, and then
23:47
Speaker 1: getting our physiology right. Off the back of that is
23:51
Speaker 1: so much about emotions and minds, so much about psychology
23:55
Speaker 1: and emotion impacting physiology. When I ate junk, I didn't
24:02
Speaker 1: accidentally eat junk, I chose it. Well, that's a mind thing.
24:06
Speaker 1: My body's not making decisions. My body's just suffering the
24:11
Speaker 1: consequences or dealing with the consequences of my decisions, be
24:17
Speaker 1: they good or bad. And when I made when I
24:19
Speaker 1: thought better, when I got my mind in the place
24:22
Speaker 1: it needed to and my emotions in the place that
24:25
Speaker 1: I needed them to be, and then I started to
24:28
Speaker 1: self regulate and make better decisions. Then my physiology changed
24:34
Speaker 1: for the better. But that was just the byproduct of
24:37
Speaker 1: the mind stuff, of the emotion stuff, of the decision
24:40
Speaker 1: making stuff. I will not allow my mind or my
24:46
Speaker 1: emotions to sabotage my physical potential. I will not use
24:53
Speaker 1: food as an escape clause, as an escaping reality door.
25:00
Speaker 1: I will not use food as an emotional crutch. I
25:06
Speaker 1: will love and be grateful for my body, but I
25:09
Speaker 1: will not obsess about it. I will nourish my body
25:15
Speaker 1: with high quality nutrition. I will not stuff it with food.
25:23
Speaker 1: I will be mindful that my body is where I live,
25:27
Speaker 1: not who I am. I will listen to what my
25:31
Speaker 1: body is telling me, and I will eat accordingly. And
25:39
Speaker 1: I will value my body and it's wisdom more than
25:42
Speaker 1: I value my stuff, because I can get more stuff,
25:47
Speaker 1: but I can't get a new body. So here's the
25:52
Speaker 1: body audit for you. Number one, does it work optimally
25:58
Speaker 1: or close to optimally? Two is it healthy or close
26:06
Speaker 1: to optimal health? And three if it doesn't really work
26:15
Speaker 1: and it's not healthy, then maybe it's time for you
26:18
Speaker 1: to step out of the emotion as best you can,
26:23
Speaker 1: and to turn up the logic and strategy and the
26:26
Speaker 1: accountability and the process, and consider your body, even if
26:31
Speaker 1: it's for the next month or two, to get some momentum.
26:34
Speaker 1: And your food and your relationship with food, and your protocol,
26:42
Speaker 1: your operating system with food moving forward. Consider that as
26:46
Speaker 1: a project. Consider that as a key priority for you
26:53
Speaker 1: moving forward, because if you have a toxic and or
26:58
Speaker 1: unhealthy relationship with food, dude, and you don't address that,
27:03
Speaker 1: you don't fix that, you cannot be a person who
27:07
Speaker 1: experiences optimal health. And I know you want your version
27:12
Speaker 1: of optimal health. See you next time.