Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP12] How to ask for money when someone owes me

Transcript

[EP12] How to ask for money when someone owes me · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  Feeling resistant, embarrassed, afraid, asking money back from someone that owes you.
• 0:05
  And I think, you know, this is, yep, we're talking about abundance and worth.
• 0:11
  But really, it's also relationship dynamics, right?
• 0:17
  So I say relationship doesn't have to be intimate.
• 0:19
  It sounds like friends here or family.
• 0:22
  And one of the things I've learned is that because you love that person,
• 0:30
  love that person um i'm willing to have the difficult conversation first because i care
• 0:36
  about them because i love them i'm more interested in the long term and i would rather have what
• 0:42
  seems like a potential conflict right like a conversation which could result in conflict
• 0:48
  and the conflict kind of almost never comes if you're able to be very clear of your intention
• 1:00
  that for me, I'll speak for myself again,
• 1:02
  I love this person and I'm willing to have
• 1:06
  a short-term conflict if it does come to that
• 1:10
  or not agreeing, so it doesn't even have to be a disagreement
• 1:14
  but it's like we're just not agreeing
• 1:17
  and for it to be uncomfortable, I'm willing to have the short-term discomfort
• 1:22
  because I'm committed to the long-term, so therefore I'm willing
• 1:27
  conversation. And money is just, you know, that's why it's one of the six key areas of what we work on in a circle. We start that journey and awaken. Because it's an area that is loaded with our story.
• 1:45
  right so there's a lot to heal there for most of us around this energy of money and you know we
• 1:52
  might have been passed down the beliefs you know it's generational it's societal it's you know it's
• 1:57
  all around or it's just our own beliefs that we kind of made up at some point consciously or
• 2:01
  subconsciously therefore it's running right it's like those patterns are running that area of your
• 2:07
  life, your relationship with money. And having the conversation, you know, leadership is bringing
• 2:14
  clarity to a situation which is lacking clarity. So taking the lead in the relationship because
• 2:22
  you care, because you love that person, because you value the relationship, and having the
• 2:26
  difficult conversation from your heart. If you're not able to come from your heart yet, then don't
• 2:33
  have the conversation yet. If you're coming from resentment or
• 2:37
  attacking or blaming, that's not a good time. You need to step away
• 2:41
  go and do your work to release the resentments, the pain, the struggle
• 2:45
  whatever it is there before. If you can't completely
• 2:49
  come from your heart and speak from your heart as in be
• 2:53
  really clear and come from that clarity of intention of I love
• 2:57
  this person therefore I'm willing to have this difficult conversation. Don't have
• 3:01
  for conversation yet not the time yet because what will come out is you might pretend that's
• 3:06
  the truth like we'll pretend like oh i'm saying all this you know i'm going to say all these loving
• 3:11
  things but actually we're just hurt like you know we're saying hurtful things or we're saying kind
• 3:15
  of like nasty horrible things even if they're slightly nasty because we know how to push their
• 3:20
  buttons right but it's different if i've let go of the resentments or the anger or whatever
• 3:26
  and I'm able to speak from my heart.
• 3:28
  Or sometimes the healing happens when you actually air it out
• 3:32
  and you can come from an honest place
• 3:35
  and taking responsibility for your part.
• 3:38
  So in this case, it's like having that open conversation
• 3:42
  and say like, hey, I felt resistant, embarrassed, afraid to speak about this,
• 3:47
  but I care about you and our relationship means more than this money that is owed.
• 3:52
  So therefore, I want to have the conversation.
• 3:55
  And I don't want to have money get in between us.
• 3:58
  So therefore, I want to bring some clarity.
• 4:02
  And it just opens up a space to have the conversation.
• 4:06
  So much of relationship is really communication.
• 4:10
  Having the conversation and having the difficult conversation first.
• 4:15
  Not sweeping it under the carpet.
• 4:17
  Because what we sweep under the carpet, you know, it's like sweeping the dust under the carpet.
• 4:21
  one day there's a fucking monster that bites your ass just jumps out you know when you're on the
• 4:27
  couch jumps out of under the carpet and bites your ass and the kids and you're like oh what's that
• 4:33
  oh that's the monster that i've been building that i've been sweeping under the carpet all these years
• 4:38
  a conversation that we didn't have and that's what normally what happens next thing you know
• 4:44
  you know the things that seem like it's left field and just kind of took you out or took the
• 4:49
  relationship out, it's been building for a long time. Just like most people pull their back from
• 4:56
  a sneeze. Now is it the sneeze or is it an accumulation of years of their posture or bad
• 5:05
  posture for their lower back for example? What is it? Is it the sneeze? It looks like the sneeze
• 5:14
  but the sneeze was just a thing as they say it's the cam you know the straw that broke the camel's
• 5:19
  back or the human's back that one sneeze is not a deadly sneeze or it's not a virus that broke
• 5:26
  your back it's you've been sitting badly and moving badly or not moving so your back has
• 5:32
  been accumulating this all this time therefore in that one last moment it happens so relationships
• 5:39
  also are like that when there's a lot that's been accumulating and hasn't been aired out and spoken
• 5:45
  rather than seeing a conflict as something that could destroy the relationship
• 5:50
  what I've learned is what can potentially be a conflict
• 5:54
  is an opportunity to deepen the relationship
• 5:58
  and if you enter into a conversation
• 6:00
  because you want to deepen the love, the relationship, the connection, the friendship
• 6:05
  then that becomes possible
• 6:08
  but if we come from blame
• 6:10
  it cannot go deeper
• 6:12
  it just kills the relationship or friendship
• 6:16
  so I hope that helps
• 6:17
  we went from money to that