Latest / The Scorpion by Anna Elisabet Weirauch. / 04 - The Scorpion.

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04 - The Scorpion. · The Scorpion by Anna Elisabet Weirauch.

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: On Olga Rado's writing table was a beautiful box of heavy,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: angular crystal with a smooth silver cover. It was almost
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: always empty, for the cigarettes were smoked so fast that
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: it was almost no use to take them out of
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: the original package. One evening, Olga again took the last
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: of the twenty-five from her pack. Oh dear, what a shame.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Myra do look on the desk. Of course, there isn't
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: one there either. What an imbecile I am. I'll run
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: down quickly and get you some. No, don't, I won't
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: have you running downstairs for that. Wait, give me my case,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: there must be a few left in it. Olga was
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: lying as usual on the divan, and she now sat up,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: tugging keys, handkerchiefs and letters from her pocket. Finally she
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: opened the case. Hurrah! By a wise economy we can
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: hold out till tomorrow. Have one. She proffered the open case. No,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: said Myra. I'll be very nice and decline, otherwise they
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: won't last till morning. Angel, said Olga, snapping the clasp.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: My one consolation is that you don't care much anyhow.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: May I look at the case? asked Myra. There it is,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: my angel. Olga handed it to her. It's beautiful, isn't it?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Myra turned the smooth, reflecting gold with careful hands. Incredibly beautiful.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I'm simply wild about that broad low design. But why
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: the crab? Is it a heraldic beast? My coat of arms,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: said Olga, laughing. Our family device. It signifies that like
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: the crab we would go backward. It's not a crab,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: said Myra, hesitantly blushing. No? Who told you so? But
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: in any case, it is unfortunately not a very useful
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: or agreeable creature. It's a scorpion. Ooh, said Myra. Why
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: such a monster? from some special preference. Yes, said Olga.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Someone had this case made for me because I once
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: said that the scorpion is the most decent creature on earth.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: It is my favorite animal. You're not serious, cried Myra shocked. Oh,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: but I am. Yes, I am quite serious about the scorpion.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Do you know that it is the only animal in
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: the world that commits suicide? It does not let itself
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: be slowly tortured to death by human curiosity and cruelty.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It struggles like a mad thing, and when it knows
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: that it is no longer possible to save itself, it
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: kills itself. Isn't that wonderful? Olga had sat up. She
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: was gazing at Myra out of great dark eyes. Her
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: beautiful pale features were set in a strangely anguished, yet
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: heroic expression. Myra was shocked. And you, she said, clasping
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Olga's hand with an involuntary movement. Is that why you
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: took it for your device? Olga smiled a kindly gentle smile.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Little stupid, she said. That has another significance altogether. I
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: must be a scorpion because I have a poison sting.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Because my wits must be like scorpion stings. Someone who
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: loved me once declared it was so. And declared, too,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: that if I were driven to an extremity, I would
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: turn my sting against myself and kill myself. I do
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: not know if it is true or not. I get
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: no particular pleasure out of thinking about myself. But that
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: is how this person saw me. And so he had
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: this case made for me. See. She opened it. The
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: little rubies of which the scorpion was formed were set azure.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: The device was visible on the inside also. And right
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: under it was engraved her name, Olga Rado. Myra scolded
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: herself furiously, but she could not help it. Her heart
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: was filled to bursting with furious jealousy of this stranger,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: who loved Olga Rado and gave her gold cigarette cases.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: A beautiful handwriting, she said distractedly. It isn't mine, said Olga.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Slowly she closed the case and with a gentle gesture
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: laid its smooth surface against her cheek. It is so beautiful.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I love it so. And I am so glad that
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I can love it. It was a parting gift. And
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: it was a very beautiful parting. Myra was on fire
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: with the torment of aversion. A beautiful parting, she said bitterly.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Are there such things? Olga sat up abruptly. Yes, Myra,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: she said with real fervor, and there should be more
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: many more. It is a misfortune that people do not
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: understand how to part from one another. Learn it, Myra,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: learn it in time. No, said Myra obdurately, I'll probably
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: never learn. Let people to whom love is only a
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: game make a game of parting. Myra, said Olga earnestly,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: you are a child. Do you think that it is
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: any proof of a great love, for me to cling
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: to someone till he is sick and tired of me?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I would rather die a thousand deaths than become a
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: burden to someone whom I love. It is an art
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: to begin, though I believe that any individual can conquer
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: any other individual, and the beginning will always be beautiful,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: but the end will always be a horrible, bitter, hateful torture.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: It is a great art indeed to know how to end,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: at the right time, and in the right way. Learn, Myra,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: learn it in time. Their silence lasted so terribly long. Yes,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: she must rise now and go. But it seemed to
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: her as if the chair were holding her tight, or
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: the gray wall above it on which her eyes were fastened.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: She felt that the moment she rose, the tears would
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: start from her eyes. That must never be. She strove
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: to set her mind on something else, on something quite remote.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: She wanted to go to the theater next week. She
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: had been very happy at the prospect. But actually, the
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: nicest part of going to the theater or a concert
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: was to sit here afterwards and discuss what she had
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: seen and heard. That could no longer be. Not next week.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Never again, perhaps. The silence in the room took away
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: her breath. If only Olga would say something. Anything. scold
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: her humiliate her it was so cruel of her simply
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: to say nothing myra made an attempt to get up
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: her movement was imperceptible but she felt it in every
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: muscle at the same instant those painfully retaining lids could
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: no longer hold back the constantly welling tears they quivered
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: were closed and the heavy drops oozed forth myra was
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: terribly ashamed of herself something inside her made itself small
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: She would have been so glad to make her exterior
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: body small in the same way, to bend down to
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: hide her face. But she did not dare move. She
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: did not want to attract attention by the slightest movement.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Perhaps Olga's thoughts were far away and she had not
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: even noticed her. The tears splashed on her hand. She
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: did not dare dry them. Suddenly she shrank together with
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: a pang. She heard the divan creak and the soft
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: rustling of a dress. Olga was on her feet. She
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: heard an infinitely gentle, soft voice at her side. Myra, child,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: what on earth are you crying about? Myra did not
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: look up, but sank her head still lower. Then Olga
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: was kneeling beside her with a sudden movement, as one
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: kneels beside a crying child and tries to peer up
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: into its face. What are you crying about? Myra saw
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: the beautiful face before her through a blur of welling water.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: She smiled. I don't know, she said. She looked at
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: the slender white hand that lay on her knee, covering
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: her own folded hands. She bent slowly over this hand
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: and pressed her lips, her hot, tear-wet cheeks against it. Child,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: said Olga almost impatiently, trying with her other hand to
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: raise Myra's forehead. If only I knew what it is
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: you are crying about. Myra was frightened by her tone.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: She raised her head and again stared at the gray
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: wall on the far side of the courtyard. Olga had risen.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Her hand still lay on Myra's head, its cool smooth
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: palm pressed firmly, almost heavily, upon her hair and brow.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Myra felt this pressure as something infinitely beneficent, felt as
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: if she would fly asunder, were that forceful hand to
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: be removed. I don't know myself, she said softly, but
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I wish I had been dead a hundred years. Perhaps
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: you would love me too then. With a sudden gesture,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Olga Rado clasped Myra's head to her shoulder and pressed
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: her lips hard, almost painfully, against her forehead. And what now?
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: she asked curtly. There was a strange vibrant ring in
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: her deep voice as if she suppressed some resentment only
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: by an effort. In her temples, in her fingertips, Myra
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: felt the furious hammering of a pulse. But she did
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: not know whose heart it was throbbing. She had a
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: feeling as if it were now her duty to do
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: something infinitely great. It seemed to her as if Olga
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Rado must now rise before her in superhuman greatness and
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: demand some heroic deed of her. Myra felt a holy
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: determination to jump out a window at the slightest word,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: or to pierce her breast with a dagger and to
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: proffer her palpitating heart in her own two hands. But
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Olga Rado made no such demands. She suddenly released Myra
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: and went to the window. She laid her fingers on
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: the lock and her forehead against the pain. And thus,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: without looking at Myra, without even turning her head, she
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: said after a pause in a strangely quiet, even matter-of-fact tone,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Go home, child. Why? asked Myra, frightened. She got up,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: her legs trembling under her. That oppressive feeling of something mysterious,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: something gruesome. Layla a heavy weight on her breast. Why
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: was she being sent away? What had she done? She
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: wanted some kind of explanation. She wanted to place her
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: hands on Olga's shoulders, to turn her around by force
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: and search her face for an answer. I have a
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: right to do so, she thought with mounting anger. I
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: certainly have a right. But as she made her first
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: step toward the window, Olga faced about violently. Crossing her
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: arms on her breast, she clasped her elbows with her
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: spread fingers. In her white face her eyes flashed deep,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: dark and threatening. You are to go home, she said
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: with a composure so forced that she seemed to be
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: controlling a simply boundless rage. Can't you hear? Am I
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: no longer mistress in my own apartment? Take your hat
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: and go. Go, go, go, go. The anger that had
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: been blazing up in Myra was quenched. Nothing was left
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: save fear and a deep, deep sadness. Something seemed to
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: be driving her to Olga as if she were scourged.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: She wanted to fall on the floor before her. She
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: wanted to clasp her knees. She wanted to beseech her.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Weep scream beat me but don't use this kind of
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: force against me. Tell me what is the matter. I
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: will die for you but don't send me away because
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: you are suffering. She stood without moving. Go, go, go,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: said Olga. Myra Rudloff picked up her hat and went.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: She strove to walk erect and in a straight line.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: She staggered a little as the lock snapped behind her,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: and she had to support herself against the wall. She
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: leaned her whole weight against the balustrade because the stairs
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: spun around beneath her like a raging whirlpool. For a
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: few days Myra lived in a state of dull torment.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Through the haze of awakening she would remember that today
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: she must not take the road to Mott Street. Not today,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: not tomorrow, perhaps never more. She was outlawed, outcast, banned
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: from all the joys of life. Long, drab and barren,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: the day stretched out before her. A heaviness like lead
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: lay upon her limbs. When the telephone rang, she would
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: start up with her heart furiously throbbing, as if out
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: of a profound lethargy. But it never rang for her.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: There was nasty weather during those days, cold and rainy,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: but one Sunday night the wind swept the sky clean
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: of clouds and dried the streets. In the morning a
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: blue summer sky shone over the city. The sun's rays,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: dancing on one corner of her mirror, awakened Myra. She
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: felt as liberated on awakening, as filled with the unconquerable
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: force of life, as if at one stroke all her
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: troubles had vanished, all her heavy burden lightened. she felt
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: able to resume the struggle with all its impediments. Indeed,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: there no longer seemed to be any impediments. Today she
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: would return the books she had borrowed from Olga Rado,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: and then she would call her to account, would ask
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: her quite frankly and cheerfully what was really the matter,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: whether it was Olga's intention to put her out again. So,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: she might do it with an easy mind. But she
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: would not do so. It had been a mood, a caprice,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: but no deep-going rift, no conflict between them. And if
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: she really had committed some offense in Olga's eyes, she
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: would like some explanation, and then would like, ah, yes,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: for her own sake, would like to beg forgiveness. Myra
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: whistled and hummed to herself while she dressed and brushed
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: her hair. When she rang, her stupid heart throbbed so
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: that she could not breathe. That came from running upstairs
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: too fast. The maid was surprised. Miss Rado is traveling,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: she said hesitantly. Didn't you know? For the first few
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: moments the shame of not knowing was greater in Myra
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: than fear. She felt that she was exposed to the
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: maid in the most absurd way. But, but, she said.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to leave these books in her room.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: But I can just as well give them to you.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Be so good as to take them, Erna. Then I
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: won't even have to go up. I am in a hurry.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I will see you again. She bounded down the first
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: stairs so that the girl should hear her haste. Not
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: until the door had closed behind her, did she walk
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: more slowly. Olga was gone. Without saying a word to her,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: without once calling her up, or dropping her a line,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: without as much as leaving a message for her with
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: the maid. She was gone. Without saying where. Without saying
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: for how long. Myra bowed her head very low on
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: her breast and descended quite slowly, step by step. A
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: few days later, Myra heard the telephone ring. and the
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: maid trotting at a run through the long hall. Myra
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: opened her door. For me, Hedwig? Yes. A gentleman wishes
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: to speak to you. A Mr. Peterson or Peterkin? I
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: didn't quite catch it. On the girl's round features were
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: emblazoned unconcealed admiration. This was the first time that a
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: man's voice had asked to speak with her. Peterkin. Myra
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: shouted excitedly into the mouthpiece without paying the slightest heed
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: to the fact that Aunt Emily was sitting in the
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: next room. Yes, this is Myra. What's the matter? Nothing
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: has happened, has it? No, no, thank heaven. I am
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: simply commanded to give you her dearest regards. I received
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: a card today. From where? From whom? She did not
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: need to ask. From Kissingen. I had to look up
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: your address in the directory. I did not know your
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: telephone number, nor even the name of the street. I
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: wasn't even sure of your name. Good Lord, you poor fellow.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Can't I see you or have you no time for me?
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Of course I have. I'd be glad to. Shall we
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: go walking for an hour? Will you? Please do, please.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Today if you can. Right away. Really? Wonderful. And you'll
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: bring the card with you. They met. After a two-word
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: greeting Myra asked. Did you bring the card? Please show
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: it to me. Please. Beside the address there was written
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: in a firm laboriously condensed hand. Please Peterkin do me
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: a favor and return the books to the royal library.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: One is on my desk two are on the shelf
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: to the left of the window in the case farthest
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: to the right. And take my plant to your room.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: The maids will forget it and I don't want it
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: to die. On the other side was written across the
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: sky that capped the landscape. Please ring the little girl
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: and greet her for me. You'll have to look up
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: her number in the book. Tell her not to be
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: angry with me. All the best to all of you. O.R.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Hundreds and thousands of such picture postcards had passed through
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Myra's hands in the course of her life, but this
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: was the first time the thought had occurred to her.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: What a wonderful and beautiful invention whereby one can send
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: a picture of the place where one is staying. So
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: that is how it looks where Olga is now. She
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: sees these houses every day. Goes walking under these trees.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: These mountains greet her every morning and every evening. Truly
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: a wonderful and beautiful invention. She would gladly have kept
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: the card. But she did not have the courage to
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: ask Peterkin for it. It happened so quickly, she said.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: This trip. She was reluctant to say that she had
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: known and suspected nothing. but she was reluctant, too, to
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: ply him with direct questions. Half unconsciously, she spoke in
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: phrases that left everything indefinite, but which, to a certain degree,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: sounded him out. Yes, said Peterkin, rather peculiarly sudden. On
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: Tuesday we were all there why we were all sitting together.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: But that night Olga came into my room and said,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Give me your railway guide. And she kept fingering it
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: through and asking me, Do you know the Black Forest
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: is it pretty there? What do you think should I
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: go to the North Sea? And so on which is
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: not her way. So undecided I mean so perplexed. And
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Wednesday night she was off. Didn't tell a soul where.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: At first I had a suspicion. A notion I should
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: say an idea. Peterkin hesitated and a faint red overspread
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: his pale features. That you had gone away together. Myra
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: did not answer. It never occurred to her for a
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: moment that her profound silence might possibly produce a queer impression.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: His words had struck her like a bolt of lightning
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: and she was in flames. Travel. Travel with Olga. There
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: was something joyfully improbable about the idea. For a few
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: seconds she lived through in imagination all that it might
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: have meant, had they decided to do this that Tuesday. Abruptly, painfully,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: she returned to her senses. It was a silly, unfulfilled dream,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: one never, never to be fulfilled, perhaps. The reality was
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: that she was here, alone, and that Olga was gone.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Also alone? Or with whom? Nothing in the world gave
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Myra the right even to ask. During those weeks Myra's
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: sole pleasure was to go walking with Peterkin. They made
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: excursions together, lay half the day beside the water, or
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: took a rowboat or drank coffee and some out of
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: the way in with a garden. and talked about books
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: about strange cities and distant mountains about beasts and plants,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: and of people long dead, and about Olga. Sometimes when
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: they were together they wrote to Olga, sent her picture postcards,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: or long poems in doggerel, and from time to time
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: they received some hasty reply, and once the news that
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: she was planning to return in three weeks. Myra was
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: quiet and happy during this time. The companionship of Peterkin
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: did her good. When she was home, she read and
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: studied under his guidance and counted the days until Olga's return.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: She drew up a long list of books which she
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: intended to have read, of things which she intended to
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: have accomplished by that time. She wanted to surprise Olga
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: with all the knowledge she had acquired in the interval,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: and labored with a burning zeal. Everything would have gone
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: nicely if it had not been for Aunt Emily. Aunt
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Emily watched and held her tongue and stored up gall
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and poison, and one day it broke out. It was
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: after dinner. Myra wanted to leave the table with a curt,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I hope you enjoy your meal, and fetch her hat
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: from her room. Aunt Emily who had sat on the
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: defensive throughout dinner, brushed together a pile of minute crumbs
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: on the tablecloth with her elegant fingers and at Myra's words,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: cleared her throat quickly and sharply and said with emphasis,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Perhaps you will be so good as to remain seated
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: until I leave the table. Bored but patient Myra sat
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: herself down again. She did not know that this was
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: but the prelude to greater things. She thought it was
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: merely one of those daily bits of chicanery that wasted
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: at least one's time and energy if they were not
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: taken with the greatest unconcern. Myra cast a covert glance
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: at the clock. Now, of course, she'll sit for another
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: five minutes before she gives the sign to rise, she thought.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Very well, I'll come five minutes late. Peterkin will wait.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Aunt Emily continued to heap up crumbs and to clear
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: her throat. Will you be so good, Franz, she began,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: it would be more precise to say she struck up.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Will you be so good as to ask your daughter
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: where she intends going this afternoon and with whom? When
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I ask her, she answers, walking with an acquaintance. or
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: some such bit of wit. So please ask her yourself.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Perhaps she still retains enough respect to tell you the truth,
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: at least. Franz Rudloff rolled up his napkin and unrolled
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: it again, thrust it into the napkin ring and pulled
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: it out again while he sat in mortal embarrassment. You know,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: my dear Emily, he said without looking up, that I
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: have turned over my daughter's education to you because I
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: know that she could nowhere be so well brought up
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: as in your excellent hands. Myra owes you exactly the
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: same obedience she does me. You are in full possession
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: of all the necessary authority. Authority, said Aunt Emily with
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: a mocking laugh. What am I supposed to do? You
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: can't spank a twenty-year-old girl or lock her in her room.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Not very well, said Myra quietly. Thank God. But perhaps
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: I too may ask one question. Would you mind telling
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: me why you need to take such measures? Why? In
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: your own interest, said Aunt Emily in a tone that
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: was meant to express flaming indignation. Oh, Myra was still
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: rather amused than excited. And what is going to bring
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: about my total destruction? The fact that I go walking
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: with a young man? Good Lord, poor little Peterkin. Did
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: you ever happen to see him? I can introduce you
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: to him sometime. Perhaps that will calm your fears. Well,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: what sort of a man is he then? asked Franz Rudloff,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: knitting his brows. This was intended to sound stern and forceful.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: It sounded rather timid. Myra felt a tender pity for
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: her father that was not altogether free of contempt. Good heavens, Papa,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: she said. A fine, intelligent man, but a poor, ailing,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: deformed little fellow. Hardly the person who could prove very
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: dangerous to a young girl's virtue or reputation. Perhaps not
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: to a normal young girl. said Aunt Emily, quivering with malice. Unfortunately,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I do not know how far one can assume that
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: you are normal. Unfortunately, there are plenty of young women
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: who have some sick and perverse attraction to all repellent
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: and unhealthy persons. Myra pushed back her chair so that
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: it grated sharply on the floor. You are absolutely insane,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: she said. That was all. Then she walked with her
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: firm long stride into the next room, to the telephone,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: and called a number. May I speak to Mr. Peterkin?
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Forgive me, Peterkin, I'll have to disappoint you today. My
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: aunt will not allow me to go walking with you. Yes,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I am sorry to. But there is nothing one can
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: do about it. My aunt thinks it improper. No, no,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: better not ring me, probably that is improper too. God
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: bless you and don't worry about it. Without turning, without
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: casting as much as a glance in their direction, she
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: went up to her room and locked and bolted herself in.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Thus her friendly companionship with Peterkin was interrupted for the moment.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Franz Rudloff's quiet, sensitive nature suffered severely from the tense
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: atmosphere in the house. The meals were eaten in a
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: painful silence, every activity in common, a walk, a visit
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: to the theater seemed impossible. He resolved to negotiate a
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: peace and endeavored to bring his daughter to apologize. With
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: this in mind he went, as he seldom did, to
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: her room. Myra was pouring her head propped on her
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: hands over her books. When her father entered, she sprang
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: up and received him as she would an honored guest.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: She moved up the most comfortable chair for him and
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: offered him a cigarette. He did not know how he
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: should introduce the subject and felt dreadfully embarrassed. Myra endeavored
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: to make the situation easier for him, for it pained
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: her to see how he was suffering. She promised the apology,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: promised to make conversation at table, promised to put on
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: a pleasant face and manner from morn to night. I
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: promised to control myself, father, she said. Control? That was
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: not what Franz Rudloff was asking. Couldn't you try, he
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: said timidly, to reach some different kind of feeling for
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Aunt Emily in your own heart? She really has such
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: very estimable qualities. We could have a much happier family
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: life if you... I know it is difficult to conquer
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: one's feelings, but if at least you made an attempt
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: to love her. Love, echoed Myra. Her face was stony
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: in its repose as she gazed past him, out of
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: the window, but her breath came quicker. I can promise
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: you one thing, all my life long I have rejoiced
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: at the thought of one thing, have waited for just
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: one thing, the moment when she would die. I have
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: prayed every night to God to make her die soon, soon.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Franz Rudloff turned quite pale.'' Myra,'' he said, his eyes wide.''
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I will promise you not to do that any more,''
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: said Myra with a gentle mournful smile.'' Besides it's too
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: late now anyway. Now I will pray God only to
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: let me be twenty-one soon. To make this unhappy year
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: pass quickly quickly. When I am of age we can
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: always find some way. If she makes things too lively
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: for me, I shall leave the house.'' even if it
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: has to be as a nursemaid. If I don't have
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: to be together with her, she can live to a
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: hundred for all I care. But before this I don't
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: mind telling you, before this there were times when I
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: would gladly have killed her with my own two hands.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: A yawning chasm opened before Franz Rudloff. He clutched the
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: arms of his chair tightly, so violently and spasmodically was
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: his poor weak heart pounding. He rose and left the room,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: heavily and slowly, like an old man. For a moment
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Myra felt an impulse to jump up and stop him,
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: to guide him back to the easy chair again. Was
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: there not some possibility of an explanation, some means of
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: arriving at an understanding? He's going because he is afraid,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: she thought. He's going because he can no longer breathe
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: the same air that I do, the air that is
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: poisoned by the venom of my evil thoughts. He's asking
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: himself now why he has to be so bitterly punished,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: why he had to give life to a murderess. Who knows?
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: He may go directly to Aunt Emily and ask her advice,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: what to do with his abandoned daughter. Perhaps they will
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: consult an alienist again. I have expressed an intention to
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: murder my whole family. No, no, there's no point in
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: trying explanations. Father simply does not understand me. He had gone.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: She let him go without moving.