Latest / Voices for Voices® / I Gave My Teacher Detention, And Learned About Grace | Episode 414

Transcript

I Gave My Teacher Detention, And Learned About Grace | Episode 414 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hey everyone, it's Justin here with Voices for Voices.
• 0:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you can do us a big favor and hit that subscribe button, give us the big thumbs up, like, follow, share, uh, reach out to 25 of your closest friends, family, or followers, let them know about the Voices for Voices, TV show and podcast.
• 0:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We would greatly appreciate that.
• 0:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh it's been a uh just a real amazing time here at Voices for Voices.
• 0:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh we just we just completed uh obviously the end of the year.
• 0:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're we're past that.
• 0:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We've gone over those analytics, but we we just passed yesterday uh dropping 30 brand new episodes of the show in 30 days.
• 1:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So uh guess call it uh a 30 for 30.
• 1:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so we're uh very uh surprised uh because we just we just go to work and and that's what we what we do when and we help people and it's uh you know to take a step back and and see uh numbers like that, 30 and 30, 30 brand new episodes uh in 30 days.
• 1:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And again, you're looking at the the administrator as well, so not just uh you hosting uh the majority of the shows, uh, but also getting them ready to be posted uh out to the world so you and others can watch and listen and uh be part of the Voices for Voices family, which is growing by the literally by the minute uh we we are reaching a lot of people.
• 2:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh we're uh one of the big goals we have just in general, is we're reaching at least a hundred countries and territories.
• 2:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, our big goal is to reach uh at least 300 countries, territories, not provinces.
• 2:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And right now we're reaching uh thousand and eight, I believe, uh cities worldwide.
• 2:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I don't see a reason why we we can't be reaching 3,000 uh cities worldwide.
• 2:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And with your help, uh I know we can do it.
• 2:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's something free to do, to share, uh, like, subscribe, and uh we would uh greatly appreciate that.
• 3:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so today was another another day, another strategy session to see where we're at, uh what um what the you know the the following uh rest of the the the month, but not just the month of January, you know, we look at things monthly and then quarterly, so that just means you know there's 12 months in a year, and so quarterly, so that would be there's four quarters in a year, so we just take a total of 12 months divided by uh four for the four quarters, and then that that takes us to three months.
• 3:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so uh we we had a uh pretty robust strategy session on uh where we're at, where we see ourselves in the short term, the medium term, and then the the long term.
• 4:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and it it just keeps it and I know I use this word a lot, it keeps amazing us, keeps amazing me.
• 4:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like the the the Lone Star song, you know, amazing, and he's talking about an individual.
• 4:26
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um and I'm talking about individuals too.
• 4:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're just amazed at the traction that we're picking up and we have picked up as this small small bite-sized organization, and we just continue to uh continue to to drive forward.
• 4:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh we we just do it.
• 5:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh there are times that are easier than than not.
• 5:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and those times that they're not, uh, you know, for instance, there was a period of time where there might have been, I think, two, maybe even three weeks where we were kind of in a rut where it felt like we weren't making strides forward, no matter how small of strides uh forward that uh we were looking to make.
• 5:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and it seemed like we would never get out, never get out of those ruts.
• 5:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um and it is uh wow.
• 5:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um, and then to come out on the other side, those are the thoughts that we try to remind ourselves that first off, we know nobody's perfect, we know that, and and so we just need to get it out of our heads, and I'm talking about myself, uh where I just have to get out of my head that there's gonna be times where we're we're going to have to stop, revisit something, potentially fix it, and then move forward.
• 6:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I don't know anybody on the planet that doesn't have to do that from time to time.
• 6:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um, and I'm even thinking of you know Elon Musk and uh testing the rockets and and uh landing them back uh on ships and uh there are tests that go very well, and then there's tests that go very well, but there might be some pickups along the way, but they're collecting that data and that that information so that when they go on to the next the next test that they're able to utilize what they've learned in the past or even as in the present, that going forward, they're able to go, okay.
• 7:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I remember when this happened, or we need to protect against this.
• 7:33
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Doesn't mean that no again, it doesn't mean that there's gonna be no mistakes, uh, but we just try not to make the same mistake twice.
• 7:43
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And that's that's the same thing for me.
• 7:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh they try to not make the same mistake twice.
• 7:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Have I?
• 7:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, yeah, I've made the same mistake twice.
• 7:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh the goal is not to, but we're we're human beings, so we're not perfect.
• 8:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So there are gonna be times that no matter how hard we try, that we're we're gonna fail, or we're not gonna meet the goals that we set out to, but there's gonna be times when not only do we meet those goals, but we surpass them.
• 8:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And it's those times that we sit back and look and say, alright, this is worth it.
• 8:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's very much worth it what we're doing.
• 8:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because as we talk to our most recent guests, and just about every guest we have on, it depending you know how the how the conversation goes, you know, we we we talk about that of you know we we can only do the best that we can.
• 9:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And when when we mess up, when we screw up, whatever words you want to use, I mean it doesn't this is something I've learned over time.
• 9:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It doesn't do a whole lot of good to uh look at something we messed up on and to dwell on it.
• 9:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Now have I done that?
• 9:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You bet you, I have.
• 9:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I've done that before, but it hasn't done me any good when I when I do that.
• 9:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: When you know I can't get that out of my head that what what I did is like, oh Justin should have known, should have checked that, you know, that second or third or fourth or whatever, however many times.
• 10:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But guess what?
• 10:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because we all make mistakes, sometimes the mistakes we make others may not see.
• 10:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so sometimes it's not as bad as what it uh seems to be.
• 10:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And again, so to to go to go back on uh uh some of my reflection, you know, we could spend a day half a day, an hour, whatever the amount of time.
• 10:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We could spend an amount of time going, oh, we screwed up, we're the worst.
• 10:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Instead of just taking that time to go, okay, what did we mess up?
• 10:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Okay, yep, we we're acknowledging it, and uh we're putting an implementation, like a fix.
• 11:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How do we fix this?
• 11:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, so we can get get things rolling in the process, because uh a lot of times there's a process that goes after the fix comes in.
• 11:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So we go, okay, did we want to screw up?
• 11:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: No, do you want to mess up?
• 11:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: No.
• 11:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But it doesn't matter.
• 11:27
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We just want to make sure we're not dwelling as much as we could, and that's where I really found myself trying try not to dwell on on those inefficiencies or things to do wrong or that I could do better, or things I should have been able to see or hear, and go, oh Justin, why didn't why didn't you why didn't you know that?
• 12:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You knew we knew this from before.
• 12:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So by talking about this on the show, it's another reminder to myself as well as to our viewers, our listeners, anybody who follows us, that we all make mistakes, no matter how much we want to pretend that we don't.
• 12:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We all do.
• 12:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We do.
• 12:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And it's okay.
• 12:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's just when we we we re we realize that we've made a mistake, or something in the process just doesn't feel right, and we go, oh, okay, we should have done this step before that step, or whatever, whatever the thing is that needs fixed, is to shorten that amount of time from when we notice it to when we actually just get down to act fixing it.
• 13:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because yeah, we can just we can just go off on everybody, we can go off on ourselves, uh Justin, like I said, should have known, should have known, should've known or somebody else, but it doesn't do any good.
• 13:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's like alright, we're human.
• 13:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What do we need fixed?
• 13:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How do we fix it?
• 13:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And let's fix it instead of throwing in extra time where we're name calling, where um we're talking down.
• 14:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Doesn't do anything, doesn't doesn't do any good for anybody, especially the mental health of the person that messed up, because don't you think that the person that messed up already feels bad enough?
• 14:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I already know like when I screw up, I already feel bad enough that somebody brings it up and wants to harp on it and go on on and on and on.
• 14:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Is to treat others, especially ourselves, with compassion.
• 15:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because again, we already know if we if we screwed something up, we already know it.
• 15:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Once we find out, we know it.
• 15:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like, all right, Justin, bang on it.
• 15:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Why'd you do that?
• 15:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Oh, because I wanted to.
• 15:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, we know that's not the answer.
• 15:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's uh it just being facetious.
• 15:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So why why stress on it?
• 15:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's just find find what needs fixed, find what needs moved around, whatever, whatever that thing is, let's just find it and and and let's again shorten the time from name calling, yelling, uh, we get we get it's inconvenient.
• 15:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We know it's inconvenient, it's inconvenient to everybody.
• 15:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's inconvenient to everybody's mental health because somebody can be like, you know, name-calling and that, and so that's not good with the mental health of you know, talking down and all that, and then the person or persons that made the mistakes, you don't think they already feel bad about it, and it's like, all right, you know, I wish I wouldn't have screwed up or messed up, whatever the word is, made a mistake.
• 16:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We all make mistakes.
• 16:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and I think the big learning is again to shorten that time from once we notice that there's a mistake to when we actually fix it.
• 16:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then again, there might be a process after we fix it that's out of our hands, meaning I could fix something and submit it, wherever that may be, and it may be three or four days, or maybe a week, or or more.
• 16:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But at that point, there's nothing we can do.
• 16:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We've already done our piece, we've already identified what was what went awry, what what do we need to do to fix it, let's fix it, let's get it submitted, and and let's just do things that way.
• 17:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um that's something that I've I've had to come across for my own self is to be compassionate.
• 17:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We talked about this on many shows, but it's so important, that's how we talk about it.
• 17:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: To be compassionate to not just others, but to ourselves because we're human as well.
• 17:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And the easy thing to do, what's the easy thing, easy thing to do?
• 17:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: To just go off on ourselves and Justin, you shouldn't have done this, Justin this, Justin that, Justin, Justin, Justin.
• 17:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We could do that, and then maybe feel good about ourselves, like, oh, I told myself.
• 18:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I know it sounds super um uh extreme, I guess, maybe in a way.
• 18:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh but it happens.
• 18:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And there's nothing we can do about the after the after the mistake, the thing is done, it's wrong.
• 18:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's not a darn thing we can do as far as what what we did.
• 18:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I mean, the worst feeling in the world to me is when I find out that I made a mistake or did something wrong.
• 18:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: At that very instant, that is probably the worst I feel.
• 18:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so anything after that that I say to myself internally or I don't know, uh people they tuck themselves in the mirror, I don't I don't know, and go, hey, you know, we gotta get this, we gotta get this ironed out and fixed.
• 19:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, no kidding.
• 19:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But we don't need to we don't need to you know take it to those levels where we're just telling ourselves or telling others, you know, that oh, well, should have known, should have done this.
• 19:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's like, no.
• 19:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Mistakes are gonna happen, it's alright.
• 19:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's just fix it and move on.
• 19:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's not a darn thing we can do.
• 19:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We'd be it there's just not.
• 19:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We just have to look at what's the most efficient way, the best way, the uh well also Putting those double checks in there just to make sure that, like we said, that how do we fix this?
• 20:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How do we pre prevent as much as possible from this happening again, especially back to back?
• 20:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like something happens, we mess up, you know, now, and then you'll and then if it's five minutes later, then it's like, okay, we just need to take a step back, and let's maybe maybe work on something else, maybe work on nothing for a period of time.
• 20:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's that's what I'm talking about, because we could still be clouded by that negativity if we're still talking down on ourselves or others.
• 21:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, you know, it's easy, easy to uh you know say like you said, just you know, talking down is one of the easiest things to do, call ourselves names and uh say, well, this is why this, this is why that.
• 21:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It doesn't.
• 21:27
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And it it and it's easy to say.
• 21:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's easy to say this, right?
• 21:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So it's easy for me to share on a show and say this.
• 21:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But something very recently did happen, and so by talking through it, I'm helping myself get more grounded and share.
• 22:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I'm sharing on the show.
• 22:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And maybe you have a show, or maybe you have things that you do that help you uh take a step back.
• 22:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Whether it's working in a journal, maybe playing video games.
• 22:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I don't know what that is for you.
• 22:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Those are those are things that you do.
• 22:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh but it's okay to do that.
• 22:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's okay.
• 22:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It really is.
• 22:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The world's not gonna end because uh I made this mistake.
• 22:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're just gonna again identify it.
• 22:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How do we fix it?
• 22:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's fix it.
• 23:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You know, maybe do like an after-action report.
• 23:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Not that that has to be more work.
• 23:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm thinking more of whether we have to write something down or just in our mind that we're saying, okay, if we're doing this thing three times a month, then each of the three times a month that we do this thing, this process, this topic, we might want to go a little bit slower, even though it's easy to go, oh, we're so close, we're so close, we're so close.
• 23:43
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because that's how I mean that's how I feel like oh, we're so close, and sometimes and get like it's so close it's we're like, we're so close, we're so close.
• 23:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's like uh when I was in in school, they would call it like senior itis.
• 24:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So you know, that last couple weeks of school, uh our minds as students were on vac on summer vacation, uh that it's like, all right, well, we got two weeks, we got one week, we got two days, we got one day.
• 24:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And uh it's interesting.
• 24:27
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So here's uh here's a story about that.
• 24:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: When I was oh where was I I was in I was in middle school and again I was still in the the years where I I don't know.
• 24:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I I just wasn't doing a the best job uh being a good student, or not even just being a good student, but it's being a a student that could just sit there and not have the you know be the I don't know class clown or what and my um my mom worked at the school that I was at that I was going to and it was the last week of school and one of the ways we would we could get punished was you know depending on the severity and all that.
• 25:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um I mean I I and I'll do the fighting and all that.
• 25:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I'm just more of like I that that's just not me.
• 25:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm just more of the I don't know where I was, you know, the like the talker, and so I have that saying of like if you don't want anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
• 26:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, I could have heeded that advice uh that during many times, especially those times.
• 26:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So it's the last week of school before Christmas Christmas, before summer break here in the United States, and I was in class, and again, my mom worked at the school, so she was at work at the school, and one of the again, one of the last so they let's just say there's five days left in school at some point and probably like the second or third to the last day, meaning that there was only like two days maybe left in until we'd be out for the summer break.
• 27:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um again, my mom was at work, I was at school, and of course I I had to run my mouth about something, and did I need to do it?
• 27:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: No.
• 27:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I think I would I I think looking back, I think it had a lot to do with my insecurity of myself, and that I was looking for some kind of I don't know, validation or I something like that.
• 27:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I ended up in detention.
• 27:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It was either the last day of school or the second last second to last day of school, and part some some of the time that uh so school would end, and and if if I was I couldn't drive, it was in middle school, and if I didn't want to take a bus home, most of the times I I would I would ride with my mom to and from school.
• 28:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It just made sense.
• 28:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're going to the same place and both ways.
• 28:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're we're going to school and then we're going home.
• 28:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And some of the times I would after school would end, my mom would still be working a little bit longer, like either half hour, an hour longer.
• 28:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And many of the times I would be playing, I would go down to the gym while I'm waiting for my mom to finish, and I would just you know play basketball, just you know, practice shooting, foul shots, and layups, and just and so that's what I would do.
• 29:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It kind of pass the time, and so it kind of helped me practice because I was playing sports at the time, and some of the times I didn't.
• 29:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I was in detention, which it did, it depends on teacher to teacher.
• 29:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But this teacher, it was after class after school's over, you go to their classroom, and you have to like sit there in the class for that hour or 45 minutes or whatever the time may be.
• 29:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um I mean, we didn't have phones back then, so it wasn't any, it wasn't something like now, or it wouldn't be like, okay, you can't use your devices, can't use your phones, or uh that it was just okay, you're gonna come sit here for half an hour, an hour, and and this is what you're gonna do.
• 30:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, I told my mom uh that I was just gonna go down shoot baskets.
• 30:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, I wasn't.
• 30:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I was going to the one of my teachers' room in detention because I I think I racked up oh, what was it?
• 30:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I think it was three, three detentions in a row.
• 30:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I don't know if this was at the same part of the year.
• 30:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I just remember uh it's been so many years.
• 30:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Oh my gosh.
• 30:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so I would I would try to hide it, right?
• 30:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like any any kid, you know, trying to hide it from their parents because it didn't want your, you know, I didn't want my mom to know that I'm gonna be in detention because then it's automatically gonna be like, well, why were you in detention?
• 31:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And it's like, because I said this, and then why did you say that?
• 31:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I was like, I already know I did something wrong, I'm sorry.
• 31:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so anyway, so I was in detention.
• 31:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I I'll get to the how many after the this this part of the story.
• 31:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um just bring back memories.
• 31:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Oh my gosh.
• 31:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and and so I think I like put my head down to sleep, or I don't know, just the past on the desk, just past the time in detention.
• 31:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The the one I'm referring to is the last week of school, and the teacher left a room for I don't know, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, came back, and I was the only one in there because right, yeah, there's not supposed to be a lot of people in detention.
• 32:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: People are supposed to be good, follow the rules, be kind, and not be not nice and say not nice things.
• 32:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and and so at this time, when the teacher had left the the room, he must have gone down to the office where my mom was working and and talked to her and said, Oh yeah, your son's in the in in detention, and and he's in my room, my classroom.
• 32:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So on the ride home, uh my mom was like, so it came up.
• 32:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It was a topic of conversation.
• 32:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You know, at first I was like I was like, I can't.
• 32:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: At least I was somewhat smart where I didn't try hiding it and hiding and hiding it.
• 33:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like I wasn't stupid because I was at the same school where the teacher and my mom were at the same, we're at we're all at the same school, and it's not like that he had to walk, you know, miles and miles to get to where my mom's office was at.
• 33:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so my mom, we got into this discussion, me and my mom, and uh, so there was, it was either the second to last day of school, or it might have been the last day of school.
• 33:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like it's the last day of school, and you found yourself in detention, and uh so there's that um of uh you would think I wouldn't learn.
• 33:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um but the other thing I was oh my gosh, I got oh, I got a couple I got I got two more.
• 33:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It I got unfortunately I got store stories for a lot of different things.
• 34:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But this is the stuff like it makes right now it makes me chuckle and laugh looking back.
• 34:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like it wasn't like I didn't put anybody in danger, I didn't it wasn't any of that.
• 34:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It was just talking back and not saying nice things, and it was didn't mean that I was any better than anybody else.
• 34:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um it it didn't mean that at all.
• 34:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It it it just meant that uh yeah, I I you know I didn't I wasn't causing a ruckus or or anything, but the same teacher, and I think this was earlier than this last week of school with the last detention with saying, Oh, telling their mom they're playing basketball when they're actually sitting in my room in detention, Mr.
• 34:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hayes, and um so that's what he called me.
• 35:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So uh so that that other time thinking with this same teacher, uh it was looking back, it's it's I don't want to say it's hilarious because it's not I I'm not I'm not condoning bad behavior and talking, I'm not at all.
• 35:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But for me, having my mom working at the same school as I'm going to, like it, you would think I'd have an incentive not to run my mouth and all that, but be that as it may.
• 35:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But a different part of the year, same teacher, I started whatever whatever I was talking about, uh, and I I remember the teacher, and he had this this this distinctive voice, Mr.
• 36:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hayes, and I was like, oh no.
• 36:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: He goes, Mr.
• 36:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hayes, I'll see you.
• 36:13
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's one detention.
• 36:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then I kept talking, right?
• 36:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You'd think I would just like zip it.
• 36:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But I would like I would not actually zip it, but just like stop talking.
• 36:26
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I was like, and then I said something else, and then and then he goes, that'll be two detentions, and I think I got up to three in a row.
• 36:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so I could laugh at it now, not at the time, and I don't I don't condone this heck activity.
• 36:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um that's what I'm trying I'm keeping what the what what the conversation and and and that was uh it it it was it was just me not being a uh as as kind of a person as I as I should have been.
• 37:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then we'll leave we'll leave the show on this this next this next part here.
• 37:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So there's another teacher, same same school, I think might even might even have been the same year.
• 37:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and she came in the I don't know if she would always sorry my eyes water in here with this light and my allergies.
• 37:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh if you're listening, obviously you're not gonna see this with 10 people watching, and that's what I'm doing.
• 37:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm rubbing my eye, trying to make it stop watering, and uh okay, so there's this other teacher.
• 37:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Okay, now I'm gonna try this one.
• 37:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Oh my gosh.
• 37:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: This is so funny.
• 37:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh to me it is.
• 38:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so another teacher, so she would come in a little bit late, uh not not very late, but she would uh you know, when the bell would ring, you know, she would wait out for all the students to come in, and sometimes she would get in conversations with other teachers, and or she was gonna go maybe like if we were having a quiz or a test, she might be down getting picking up the copies from the office, and and um you know, she would have different versions of the tests and quizzes, so it would deter cheating and copying off of somebody else.
• 38:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so um anyway, so one of these days, one of those days, let's say, um, because it's not these days like now, many, many years ago.
• 38:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh she was doing what she was doing, the teacher.
• 39:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I do not condone any of this activity at all.
• 39:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh I was the one time we had, um, I don't know if anybody's been to like a sporting event, you know, they do the wave from time to time where you know one area stands up and waves their hand up, and then you go around and around the stadium or the arena, and uh so one of the times like we were doing that, or like I had I got that started, and like I think I was sitting maybe in the middle, and so she'd be writing on the the board, and then people would be doing the wave and going, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 39:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh and she's like, What's going on?
• 39:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What's going on?
• 39:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so I think I got an attention or something from that.
• 39:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh But that that wasn't the real the the what I think of right now.
• 40:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I think of her coming in a class late and I'm like I'm gonna give I'm gonna give it give my teacher a a detention for being late and so you know my fellow students they're like no you won't you won't do that and I'm like oh you don't think I will and it and and so I was like alright you don't think I will so I did so I I knew it's drawer because I d I see you know sometimes sometimes teachers would make it official that you're in detention and sometimes I wouldn't so some of them would fill out the paper and then they would file that with the office and and all that, and then you were supposed to get it, I think, get it signed, I think, by a fan, you know, by your mom or dad or your guardian.
• 41:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um and others didn't, and so the ones that didn't, of course, I those were the ones I was trying to like not not really share with with my with my mom and and that, and then ultimately with my dad.
• 41:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I did.
• 41:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I wrote up the detention uh on on the paper.
• 41:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's like uh it was like the three colors or things like the yellow, white, and pink, and like you know, the the student got a copy, the teacher got a copy, and then I think a copy went to like the main office.
• 41:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And uh so yeah, I I did that, and I I I gave her a detention because I left it on her desk, like with a pen for her like the sign.
• 42:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um and I don't I don't think I I don't think I put my name, and so then it was the whole who did this, and then I'm just sitting there, you know, like wasn't me, I didn't do it, and then of course, then it gets into like well if nobody's gonna tell, like, well then everybody's just gonna be in detention, and so then at that time they're like, Justin did say like Justin, I'll see you after class.
• 42:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm like, no, because she was a stickler of uh filling out the paperwork and and all that, so uh trying to have you know some uh lighthearted conversation.
• 42:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Were these good things to do, good habits to have?
• 42:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: No, absolutely not.
• 43:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh I shouldn't.
• 43:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I I I shouldn't talk about shouldn't have talked back to their teacher, I shouldn't have talked down to anybody or make somebody uncomfortable with talking about I don't even know.
• 43:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um so I don't condone it, but these are things I did.
• 43:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I was a kid once.
• 43:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um so I just thought I would share that uh because sometimes sometimes, you know, re reminiscing even though it was not the the best these weren't with the best things.
• 43:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um yeah, I'm laughing and I'm and I I apologize for laughing.
• 43:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I apologize to the teachers that um if they're watching or listening, uh that I you know made lighthearted comments about uh you know the the class and the detentions.
• 44:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh but every once in a while we just have to laugh.
• 44:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And and so this was my way to kind of round out you know this episode of talking about like we all make mistakes.
• 44:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's just try not to let's just try not to harp on them or take too much time restating the obvious that there was a mistake.
• 44:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like we know, and we're not happy, we didn't plan to do it, it just happened.
• 44:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And and and so that that's kind of the the the first message, and then the second is obviously some years later, obviously, this is more than 20 years later, uh, but you know, we find we're gonna find ourselves maybe laughing or just having a quick joke and uh not not that we're laughing at people, I'm laughing at myself.
• 45:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm not denying that I didn't put myself in these situations and and get get detentions.
• 45:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh I mean on on I mean I wasn't in the in detention every single day of the year.
• 45:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh but there were some times I was, and yeah, and and and so I I just I don't know, just thought I could maybe share that and maybe make somebody laugh and chuckle or be like, yeah, that you know, he's not perfect, and that and that that's been my whole point.
• 46:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: This whole whole thing, 400 and 10 plus episodes is when I say that I'm not perfect, I don't think I'm perfect.
• 46:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm not trying to show that I'm perfect, I am not perfect, and that's the other layer of what I just shared.
• 46:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That I'm not perfect, never was, never will be.
• 46:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so we don't need to beat up on ourselves, talk down on ourselves.
• 46:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's the easy thing to do.
• 46:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's the very easy thing to do, just to say, oh, well, yeah, screwed up again.
• 46:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's the easy thing to do.
• 46:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The little bit tougher thing to do is to go, okay, made a mistake.
• 46:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's not really a whole lot I can do about it.
• 46:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's gonna be it need to be some fixes.
• 46:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh could be minor fixing, could be uh very in-depth fixing.
• 47:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh nonetheless, there you know, we need we need to do some fixing.
• 47:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But that's okay.
• 47:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's okay.
• 47:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It really is.
• 47:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'll go back to my very first group therapy when I came out of the hospital in November 2017.
• 47:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I mentioned this in my book, The House of You Prescription for Living, where I was literally just coming out of basically out of the valley of what seemed a sure death, and I was I was having a very hard time.
• 48:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: A really hard time.
• 48:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And this gentleman is our uh one of our art instructors.
• 48:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And there was there was one day lunch would be like right after who would have his class.
• 48:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And one day, like I I literally just needed I just needed somebody to talk to.
• 48:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I said, I I guess I'm okay.
• 48:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I guess I'm I'm alright.
• 48:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And he says, he goes, he goes, yes, at this very moment, you are safe and you are okay.
• 49:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That doesn't mean in the future, doesn't mean it whether a second from now, uh an hour from now, ten years, twenty years, doesn't mean that there's not gonna come a point where you're not, but right now you're at the hospital, so the therapy was held at the hospital.
• 49:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um and and so he said, You're seeing the psychiatrist every day, you're seeing the nurse monitoring your blood pressure, because I was one of the medicines I was I was on, I was worried, like I was worried about everything.
• 49:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That my blood pressure would either be too high or be too low, or uh would have too much of this vitamin or too low of that vitamin, and and I was just like those things have eight years later have carried with me that when I go through like my my evening prayers, that's one of the that's one of the things I recite to myself.
• 50:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like, you know, like right now, Justin, you're safe and you're okay.
• 50:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's not saying, again, not saying that in a second or in an hour or in ten minutes or two minutes or a month.
• 50:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Not talking about that.
• 50:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're talking about this that this is where the grounding comes in of what use is a gonna what use is it if I get upset about a mistake that I make or somebody else makes?
• 51:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's not gonna do a whole lot of good because all I know is right this second I'm safe and I'm okay.
• 51:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like I might not even get to the point to be able to see whatever the mistake was to be fixed.
• 51:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like, so why am I why would I be worried about that?
• 51:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I hope that makes a little bit of sense.
• 51:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But thank you for tuning into this episode.
• 51:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you can hit that subscribe button, if you can give us the big thumbs up, like, follow, share, if you can uh send an episode or a few or the the title uh page uh for the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast, the 25 or 50 of your your closest friends, and just let them know about us.
• 52:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh that you know, we're trying to help at least 3 billion people over the course of my life, time and beyond.
• 52:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We want to reach at least 300 countries over the course of my lifetime and beyond, and we're just over a hundred countries as we as we're uh having this show right now, and that we want to reach at least 1,000 cities worldwide over the course of my time and beyond uh course of my lifetime and and and beyond.
• 52:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And right now we're at uh you know 1,008, I think, is the number we're at for cities that we've reached.
• 52:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um and thank you for being with us.
• 52:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you so much.
• 52:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It means a lot.
• 52:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We love you, we pray for everybody, whether you're a believer in God or another higher power or whether you're not.
• 53:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, we're we're a believer that you know, good vibes.
• 53:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We can never have enough good vibes.
• 53:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so until next time, let's celebrate the voices of everybody.
• 53:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's celebrate the voices of everybody.
• 53:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And please, please, please be a voice for you or somebody in need.
• 53:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We'll see you next time.
• 53:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Take care.
• 53:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you so much.
• 53:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We love you.
• 53:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Bye bye for now.